(2008/06) June 2008
- Thread starter avoros
- Start date
Ice, you're a SAHM? With 4 kids?! Wow.. I should bow at your feet. Oh wait... I should kiss your feet and ask for your words of wisdom. Must keep my eyes on the ground, else your Nirvana light will blind me. Hahaha... Seriously, I'm amazed and impressed. I only have 1 girl, and I find I'm more tired at the end of the day with her than at work. One weekend entertaining her, and I can't wait to go back to work on Monday. Hehe.. I'm exaggerating a little, but you get my drift. 
Felicia, she go back in her dreams lor. Dream she win Toto $2 million, then buy big house, big garden, 2 maids, 1 dog. Perfect no? Hahahaha
Veniz, I also don't agree with SILs or BILs coming along for the ride. Everytime my hubby wants to treat his parents to dinner, everyone suddenly free. And he got 3 siblings leh. 1 brother somemore got gf. So instead of only 4 of us, we end up paying for 8 people!! Double leh! So in the end, since cannot stop everyone from coming, we stop treating lor. Hahaha... Just because he's the oldest, cannot keep on sponging off him right. Also got our own family to feed.
Felicia, she go back in her dreams lor. Dream she win Toto $2 million, then buy big house, big garden, 2 maids, 1 dog. Perfect no? Hahahaha
Veniz, I also don't agree with SILs or BILs coming along for the ride. Everytime my hubby wants to treat his parents to dinner, everyone suddenly free. And he got 3 siblings leh. 1 brother somemore got gf. So instead of only 4 of us, we end up paying for 8 people!! Double leh! So in the end, since cannot stop everyone from coming, we stop treating lor. Hahaha... Just because he's the oldest, cannot keep on sponging off him right. Also got our own family to feed.
ellysia
Active Member
Veniz,
me cannot rem yr nick.. hee tink u didn't post much.
cactus,
oh. me doesn't mean tat i will not care abt her when i say to distance bb from her. just to distance but doesn't mean to totally distance. my Mil doesn't stay with me, she stay with my hb's younger bro and sister who are both unmarried.
Actually u have maid is better bah. For me, i have no maid lor. I have to do housework myself, take care of bb during weekdays night and weekends. And i do puree during weekends. Plan for outings too. My parents and younger bro are dependent on me financially too. A lot of my colleagues wonder how i manage without maid. actually i get my hb to share housework with me, then we only choose those more critical stuff to do.
me cannot rem yr nick.. hee tink u didn't post much.
cactus,
oh. me doesn't mean tat i will not care abt her when i say to distance bb from her. just to distance but doesn't mean to totally distance. my Mil doesn't stay with me, she stay with my hb's younger bro and sister who are both unmarried.
Actually u have maid is better bah. For me, i have no maid lor. I have to do housework myself, take care of bb during weekdays night and weekends. And i do puree during weekends. Plan for outings too. My parents and younger bro are dependent on me financially too. A lot of my colleagues wonder how i manage without maid. actually i get my hb to share housework with me, then we only choose those more critical stuff to do.
<font color="ff6000">veniz,
tokin bad behind my back izzit! wan me beat yr butt izzit??
ah morr,
u missed me ah!!! lookin for me ah! i busy leh. my devil bb is super attention seeker. + busy @ work aso.
i needa do hsework aso leh, no maid wo... i stil read on n off la... tdy in office so can catch up abit on thread.
then saw auntie veniz tokin rubbish abt u n me. evil auntie veniz!
me n morr r bff!!!! whahahahaha</font>
tokin bad behind my back izzit! wan me beat yr butt izzit??
ah morr,
u missed me ah!!! lookin for me ah! i busy leh. my devil bb is super attention seeker. + busy @ work aso.
i needa do hsework aso leh, no maid wo... i stil read on n off la... tdy in office so can catch up abit on thread.
then saw auntie veniz tokin rubbish abt u n me. evil auntie veniz!
me n morr r bff!!!! whahahahaha
</font>JP, bingo! My MIL is that type loh.. there was once, she told my hb (my hb complained to me.. wrong move though.. never never talk bad about your parent in front of your hb or wife!) "why you study so much if you don't give me $X for allowance?"She said this to him when he said he needed to cut her allowance a little... my hb was very distressed and almost cried. My MIL told my hb he had to look after her when she is old.. but my hb is quite stubborn.. he told her to go to his sister or his older brother who has since migrated. I think my ILs have been unfair to my hb. My ILs paid over $200k for my BIL's overseas education and he eventually migrated. My hb in contrast took up study loan with a bank for his uni fees. My MIL would demand a certain amout in allowance but would allow her daughter to only give 1/3 of what my hb gives. her daughter earns 70% of what my hb earns. I think it's all this $ talk, that eventually pushed my hb away from his mom. That's why they aren't close. My MIL had to approach me to ask me to look after her when she is old... my hb overheard that conversation and quickly interrupted and said "when you are old, my sis, my bro and I will discuss. leave her out of it." .... my hb is like that loh.. not very good to his mom. but I also think my MIL not reasonable. The last straw was my MIL sort of ill-treated me with verbal abuse during my confinement. She would say bad things about me in front of the baby ( like, your mummy not good.. only want to express milk and not carry you...) and she would say that I'm the first person she know who have long hair during confinement.. she didn't cook confinement food for me despite promising my parents she will look after me (my parents believed her and went on vacation when I was in confinement) and despite my hb giving her $1.2k for AP. My hb decided to move out of his home, with me and the baby just 2 weeks after Matthew was born (at that time, I had been at my IL's place for 1 week only.. because I spent 1 week in hospital) because my MIL asked me if my SIL's maid can look after Matthew so that she can look after her 3yr old grandson.. this was not possible for my hb and I to accept cos even my MIL told me previously that she and my SIL don't trust the maid to look after the 3rd old grandson alone... how to entrust a newborn with such a maid?
Krispy, I know what you are saying. My hb and I have agreed that we will financially support my MIL till her last days, but we won't be letting her stay with us, or moving to stay with her due to our differences. My hb has another brother. an older brother actually, but migrated already. At the end of the day, I hope my SIL looks after her mom loh. if not, my hb said to send her to nursing home.. it's very cruel.
Cactus, Haiyoh. Your MIL.. tsk tsk. Oh well, just stay out of it like how your hubby says lor. What he says is true lar. When your MIL is old, then he and his brother and sister will talk about it. The burden shouldn't lie on him alone.
Ellysia, it got to the point where we'd go over to my in laws place for the weekend, then at dinner time, everyone expect my hubby to pay. Every weekend. Crazy. After that, I told him that since he can't say anything, we're going home at 6pm. Don't need to have dinner together anymore. Now got better excuse. Tell them that my girl needs to bathe, eat dinner and sleep by 8pm. So don't need to be in such a situation anymore.
Ellysia, it got to the point where we'd go over to my in laws place for the weekend, then at dinner time, everyone expect my hubby to pay. Every weekend. Crazy. After that, I told him that since he can't say anything, we're going home at 6pm. Don't need to have dinner together anymore. Now got better excuse. Tell them that my girl needs to bathe, eat dinner and sleep by 8pm. So don't need to be in such a situation anymore.
<font color="ff6000">ellysia,
aiyo. i not office based mah. then started work after ML, no more shakin leg @ hm so no time to post lor. then tdy in office, so got time to sneak in n read during office hr. kekekeke</font>
<font color="ff6000">veniz,
ya la ya la.... u can tok yr way out always la. dun argue wif u. wil 'scold' u when i c u! lalalalalallalala...... </font>
aiyo. i not office based mah. then started work after ML, no more shakin leg @ hm so no time to post lor. then tdy in office, so got time to sneak in n read during office hr. kekekeke</font>
<font color="ff6000">veniz,
ya la ya la.... u can tok yr way out always la. dun argue wif u. wil 'scold' u when i c u! lalalalalallalala...... </font>
Krispy, yah.. I told my hb I don't mind bearing the greater financial burden because we earn more than his siblings (but note.. we also save up harder.. my SIL goes for Yoga at Orchard every week and my BIL has 2 houses overseas... one is a holiday home, the other is his own home)... but I don't think I can live with his mom loh. He told me he definately cnanot live with his mom too. There was once, my hb drove his dad's car, then tyre puncture, my MIL immediately call my SIL's hb to ask him to help. But please loh... he lives at Seng Kang.. ask him to drive to Bishan to help ah?? I told my MIL no need, we call the 24hr hotline to help change tyre.. pay a little bit of money only. Then recently, my MIL ask me if my FIL can drive their car to my parents' home carpark at Tampines to park.. because they are going on holiday.. they dun want to take taxi from Bishan to Changi airport.. they want to save money.. so rather drive to Tampines, then take taxi to airport.. I hear already, almost laugh out loud.. but I told her it's okay. anything also fine. but 3 adults share 1 cab to airport.. with lots of luggage.. not that pricey what right? That's considering my MIL gets $1.6k in total every month from her 3 kids leh...my FIL still working.
Ellysia, not that bad lar. Go places like Botak Jones to eat, 1 dinner can cost roughly S$100. Sometimes go eat zhi char, also about S$100 lor.
Then birthday treats, dinner about S$200 + gift around S$150 each. Basically, not cheap lar and my husband is the generous type. He can don't save and still dream of buying apmt / car. Haha.. Now I'm forcing him to save by transferring a part of his salary to another account. Let him feel the pinch of an empty bank account.
But he understands the reasons why lar. As Cactus said, there will be satisfaction at the end of it lor.
Then birthday treats, dinner about S$200 + gift around S$150 each. Basically, not cheap lar and my husband is the generous type. He can don't save and still dream of buying apmt / car. Haha.. Now I'm forcing him to save by transferring a part of his salary to another account. Let him feel the pinch of an empty bank account.
Krispy, that's a good move! after my hb and I ROMed (we had our wedding 1 year after ROM), we open joint account. each month, we will transfer whatever balance there is after taking into account income tax, bills and daily expenses. it feels good to see our personal bank accounts growing from $0 each month loh. Guys tend to be like that.. they set goals.. but I think gals tend to be more systematic and implement ways to reach those goals. that's why guys and gals complement, I think!
Guys tend to be like that.. they set goals.. but I think gals tend to be more systematic and implement ways to reach those goals. that's why guys and gals complement, I think!Cactus, we don't have a joint account. I was quite adamant that we each have our own savings account so we can each set targets of our own. Our monthly salaries are about the same now, so the savings account would be for us to compare how much he saves vs how much I save. So far so good. Haha.. He always wonders why I can save so much while his always never meet target. So I suggested he do the monthly transfer to help him.
For all major expenses, e.g. infant care fees, we'll split the costs. Everything else, we just take turns paying.
For all major expenses, e.g. infant care fees, we'll split the costs. Everything else, we just take turns paying.
ellysia
Active Member
Veniz,
My hb will say me if i moderate wrongly or say certain things wrong. cos he is peaceloving, he dun want me to quarrel with people. yah we discuss forum postings together.
cactus,
oic. i have my own study loan to service. then last time my dad out of job, i help pay house bills but my income not enuff tat time, so i use credit line to pay. now still servicing credit line but i ored done fund transfer at low interest rates. tat all together is one third of my salary. then every mth i pay my parents house loan and their bills, and allowance to my mum, all amounting to one third of my salary. last one third of salary use to service my own spending.
now i spent more on bb stuff, so i spend less on my own clothing.
My hb will say me if i moderate wrongly or say certain things wrong. cos he is peaceloving, he dun want me to quarrel with people. yah we discuss forum postings together.
cactus,
oic. i have my own study loan to service. then last time my dad out of job, i help pay house bills but my income not enuff tat time, so i use credit line to pay. now still servicing credit line but i ored done fund transfer at low interest rates. tat all together is one third of my salary. then every mth i pay my parents house loan and their bills, and allowance to my mum, all amounting to one third of my salary. last one third of salary use to service my own spending.
now i spent more on bb stuff, so i spend less on my own clothing.
Krispy, yeah.. few guys are good savers. My hb didn't get into a habit of saving till we got married. He used to get study awards of $3k during uni years.. he would spend that amount on travel.. haha... not attached then mah. Meet me, he die liao.. introduced to a different regime.
My hb and I use joint account for wedding dinner expenses, and home purchase. I pay for Matthew's health insurance and immunizations. Hb pays for Matthew's term tpd, ci and death insurance. Hb paid for the delivery and neonatology expenses. Im' responsible for the maid. the rest like dinners, marketing, is take turns to pay. we are separately responsible for each side's parental allowance. I'll be responsible in the future for the home ppty tax, SP services, broadband and phone charges. it's not really a dollars and cents issue but rather that there is someone responsible for some stuff, so that the bills don't go unpaid.. hehe!
My hb and I use joint account for wedding dinner expenses, and home purchase. I pay for Matthew's health insurance and immunizations. Hb pays for Matthew's term tpd, ci and death insurance. Hb paid for the delivery and neonatology expenses. Im' responsible for the maid. the rest like dinners, marketing, is take turns to pay. we are separately responsible for each side's parental allowance. I'll be responsible in the future for the home ppty tax, SP services, broadband and phone charges. it's not really a dollars and cents issue but rather that there is someone responsible for some stuff, so that the bills don't go unpaid.. hehe!
Ellysia, it's really not easy on you hor... I think you are very resillient... I have a friend too... she services her parents' debt.. her dad failed in business.. but her family was willing to downgrade from masionette to 4 room flat. so it was easier on her financially. she's not married too.
Haha... Yeah. Most guys aren't savers. Btw, what kind of insurance did you buy for Matthew? We're wondering whether to buy a hospitalisation plan for Isabel. Right now, she's covered under my Company but I won't be here forever, so would be good for her to have her own. Any to recommend?
ellysia
Active Member
as compared, my own house i fork out less. i only pay for the scv tv and internet. and i pay for the off-peak car coupon. instalment for mattress i pay but now ored pay off liao.
spending for bb, me most buy clothes for him. toys are usu under hb.
cactus,
if my hb isn't so supportive, i won't be married. i have ever thought of not marrying bec of my family circumstances. but my hb is v understanding and willing to help for near to 90% of household expenses.
spending for bb, me most buy clothes for him. toys are usu under hb.
cactus,
if my hb isn't so supportive, i won't be married. i have ever thought of not marrying bec of my family circumstances. but my hb is v understanding and willing to help for near to 90% of household expenses.
Ellysia, Krispy, I only have 2 policies for Matthew. $200k coverage for disability, death and critical illness. But no money back one hor... it is term policy. For health insurance, I bought Prudential.
Krispy, I would recommend Prudential or Great Eastern if you are looking at medisave approved plans (can use medisave $ to deduct premiums) then pay a cash rider to take care of the co-insurance and deductibles. I am currently paying under $300 (through medisave and cash) per year for Matthew, under Prudential (forget the name of the plan ) but it is the most comprehensive policy plus rider. It allows Matthew to stay in 1 bed private hospital and I don't have to pay a cent. no limits.
Krispy, I would recommend Prudential or Great Eastern if you are looking at medisave approved plans (can use medisave $ to deduct premiums) then pay a cash rider to take care of the co-insurance and deductibles. I am currently paying under $300 (through medisave and cash) per year for Matthew, under Prudential (forget the name of the plan ) but it is the most comprehensive policy plus rider. It allows Matthew to stay in 1 bed private hospital and I don't have to pay a cent. no limits.
Veniz, I finally saw Vivi's pics on FB. My company sort of has some firewall for FB. Dunno why everytime got prob opening the website. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.
She's so so cute lor. Eyes so big and head botak botak. hahaha.. adorable.
I go check out Morr's pics now. Hehe..
She's so so cute lor. Eyes so big and head botak botak. hahaha.. adorable.
I go check out Morr's pics now. Hehe..
Ellysia, ya lor, best not to quarrel with pple like rabbit aka korea etc, no point and since they know you and hb both are couple, others may indirectly pull him down too. But now since you seldom post there, just let it be, hee.
Krispy, my sil likes to say she has no $$, but then when eating, compete with me to buy luxurious goods for her mum and my son (toys, clothes), she will spend. Then when come to paying SCV bill to my hb, she said no $$. Then, she always teach my son she very poor, no $$. When go out for meals, she expect her parents to pay. BTW, she is married and both her and hb has own flat, does not stay there and yet stay with my in laws. Coz she refused to move into her own house, I decided its enough, thus told hb we have to get our own house. Now, when I go back to mil house and see her, I dun really talk to her, dun even want her to carry my gal, since she so 'zhong nan qing nui', dunno if she will accidentally drop her on floor or not.
mrswrx, ok lar, let you smack my buttocks. Best your one smack can smack away my fats, waahaahaa.
Krispy, my sil likes to say she has no $$, but then when eating, compete with me to buy luxurious goods for her mum and my son (toys, clothes), she will spend. Then when come to paying SCV bill to my hb, she said no $$. Then, she always teach my son she very poor, no $$. When go out for meals, she expect her parents to pay. BTW, she is married and both her and hb has own flat, does not stay there and yet stay with my in laws. Coz she refused to move into her own house, I decided its enough, thus told hb we have to get our own house. Now, when I go back to mil house and see her, I dun really talk to her, dun even want her to carry my gal, since she so 'zhong nan qing nui', dunno if she will accidentally drop her on floor or not.
mrswrx, ok lar, let you smack my buttocks. Best your one smack can smack away my fats, waahaahaa.
ellysia
Active Member
cactus,
hmm ya hee. he is even better to my mum than me. me bad temper, sometimes will scold my mum.
Krispy,
the darkest day is when my dad got retrenched for 1 year. and i just started working earning only 1K plus. after paying study loan i left 1K. minus makan etc where got savings. one month i can only go gai gai once. i have to do my budgetting every mth so tat i dun overspend. i even have a clothing budget!
then once, i go out with a gal fren. we try out some clothes. i find one piece v nice. she say i should buy it. i say cannot, i ored burst my clothing limit on tat mth. she cannot understand how come got clothing limit. haaaa.
hmm ya hee. he is even better to my mum than me. me bad temper, sometimes will scold my mum.
Krispy,
the darkest day is when my dad got retrenched for 1 year. and i just started working earning only 1K plus. after paying study loan i left 1K. minus makan etc where got savings. one month i can only go gai gai once. i have to do my budgetting every mth so tat i dun overspend. i even have a clothing budget!
then once, i go out with a gal fren. we try out some clothes. i find one piece v nice. she say i should buy it. i say cannot, i ored burst my clothing limit on tat mth. she cannot understand how come got clothing limit. haaaa.