Hi Csi_fan,
regarding maid: I agreed with setting down the rules when she arrived as then she will know what is expected from her. My maid is fresh from indo with no working experience other than taking care of her own baby! So far these 6mths I do not have much problems from her! Personally I feel gettin one maid whom is married and have her own child is better as likely they will have sense of commitment and responsibilty.
From the very 1st day my maid arrived, i oledi lay down all the tasks and rules to her. There are 3 impt rules that she have to abide, that is she will not have any 2nd chance if she break any of these 3 rules, which means I will have her contract terminate and be send home immediately.
#1 - No 'beating' of my baby
#2 - No stealing (honesty)
#3 - No bringing of outsider to my house without permission
As times goes by and when she gained some confidences, I noticed that she has did some adjustments to the roster i have layout initially, and started to do things her own ways. I chose to close one eyes on these as I felt every person has their own ways to do certain things and most impt for me, as long as my baby is heathly and growing well, house is clean I really dun bother her as long as she dun give me any problems. I always remind her, her main duty is just to look after and focus on baby. Housework come 2nd!
Also, I chose to adopt a 'friend to friend' relationship with her rather then 'boss to employee"! So ,whenever I'm free at nite I will spend some times and chat with her! And I will always remind her: My baby is healthy and happy, then mommy will be happy, and aunty(maid) will be happy too!