(2005/06) Due in June 2005, Any 1

Mommies,
How do you help your kids deal with anger/frustration behaviour?

Examples:-
1. Awake from leaked pullups which wet his pant, he will run over looking so upset and keeps shouting "my pants is wet, can you help me?" even thou' he has no problem changing by himself in normal times. I tried to speak softly and asking him calm down n take out his wet pants first but he just keep shouting.

2. We are busy, he wants a drink and asking his daddy to pour him a cup of water which he nromally do it himself. If I pour for him instead of daddy do it, he will gets so upset and insists my hubby to do it by pouring away the cup of water.

3. My hubby wakes Ian up for school and Ian refused to wake up, so my hubby told him he going to be late for work, and since he is not waking up, he will go to work first and Ian will gets very upset and starts to cling on my hubby and keeps saiding "No, I don't want daddy to go to work". So my hubby tell Ian to wash up and go with him now. Instead of quiet down and do it, he wasted almost 10mintues by repeating again "No I do not want daddy to go to work" without getting anything done.

These are his reaction to frustration/anger and I have no idea how to handle it. Initially we will try to talk nicely with him but he just like a parrot, keeps repeats until he wants what he wants. My hubby and I starts to get sick of such attitudes.

Any advice is appreciated. thanks.
 


<font color="0000ff">Shane</font>
So far still coping ok, but nite time he can wake up from 3 + till 5+am that kind, so really can shag me up..


<font color="ff0000">Anns</font>
What u have posted are describing Ashley's behavior too. I am very easily frustrated nowadays by her temper. Any single thing she'll whine &amp; whine &amp; say the same thing again &amp; again. I think our kids are having those "temper tantrums". I'm really sick of her attitude &amp; to everyone in the family, she seem to behave like a spoilt brat. I dunno when she'll really b dongshi..
 
Anns,
Same like what twinklets said. E is behaving this way too. Wants her way all the time. Doesn't listen to explanations. Easily angered, hard to calm down.
I've been feeling quite dishearten cos I don't know what happened to her. I still remember she was quite an angel a few months back. These 2 mths hv been really trying. Any single thing can set her off. I feel i'm walking on land mines all over again.

E.g. went out to celebrate Daddy's birthday. she insist is her bday. we gave in and say ok her birthday and MUST sing her bday song first. when we didn't give in, she got angry and walked away.

Are they all going thru the same phrase ? I thot 4YO supposed to be better!

I wish I could advise you. I myself need advise too.
sad.gif
I tried to do the explanation patiently but doesn't help. *urgh*

Twinklets,
wow, 3-5am ?! *pat pat* Hope Ju settles into his routine soon. You try to rest when he's sleeping. I know it's hard. But one best thing to do is get away fm internet and TV! =)
 
<font color="0000ff">Shane</font>
Yes man, now i dread of 3am to come. I just hope he wont wake up at 1am also. Arrgh. Ya I try to nap when he nap. But hor quite hard, cos gotta rush to wash &amp; sterilize bottles, do my pump etc. Luckily my pump noise seem like lullaby to him, he really sleeps better when he hears that noise, haha!

The birthday scenario sounds like Ashley too! She'll insist it is her birthday. Same like Julien's full mth, she insisted she celebrating with Julien that day. &amp; when Nai Nai wrote Julien name on the angbao, she insisted her to write her Ashley name as well! Else she'll blackface &amp; whine whine nonstop.

Now she likes to say this in mandarin "Everyday you all are like that 1" , when we scold her that time. Really cant stand leh.. I also thot 4 Yo shd be better, but seem opposite leh. Now they are even 'better' cos they can even argue back liao.. haiz..
sad.gif
 
my 4yo is exactly you describes too... whine and nag all the time like a auto-replay DVD until they get what they want, especially they are more vocal now... best, is the 3yo is also trying to imitate her!
 
twinklets,
E says ' Daddy notti, Mummy notti!!!' sigh ...

actually i not sure this helps or not but i told her it's ok to be angry but she cannot hit people or hurt people. What she can do is to tear tissue into the bin when she's angry. So far, not much of a help but i do noticed sometimes she does go for a tissue and tear it up. so I hope tt's one way of helping her vent her anger appropriately.

I read somewhere that we need to help them manage their anger. It's ok for them to be angry but they need to learn to vent it properly.

anns,
tell me abt it. 2 days bk i was watching her old vids when she was like 1yo+, so cute! make me tempted. But when i'm faced with her tanturms i just shrudder.
 
<font color="0000ff">Anns/Shane</font>
In that article,it teaches us 1 method is to laugh it off. Sometimes the Daddy does that too when she in her whining mode &amp; it does help abit cos tat will make her laugh &amp; she'll stop her whines.


<font color="ff0000">Shane</font>, oh dear tat is wat Ashley always says to the person that scold her "Dadd notti, Mummy Notti" .. her whines can really make me so frustrating. I'm telling myself to keep cool like what I always have before I have Julien. But now think after having Julien, my temper is really short ..

E is so cute to really go try to tear the tissue, at least somehow she's tring to heed ur advice. Not bad!


<font color="ff6000">Jane</font>
oh yes.. nowadays like auto recorder, maybe we shd record down &amp; let them listen!!
 
hihihi..

me too...tell u hor..not only my R..even my C oso like that..
very very frustrating lor..

so now i gathered..3YO and 4YO going thru almost the same phase?

my C hor..every little thing she will whine and cry..
early morning like today..she starts crying in the bed when she wakes up..she did not call for mi or daddy..she just whine n fuss until she gets fed up n cry
when i give her milk..she oso dun wan..after a while then she took it..

i wonder isit cos they hve too much energy liao..hence they hve to let it out this way?

even my R oso..he is a boy leh..can u imagine him whining n fussing? so sissy leh..buey tahan n he oso one kind..cannot wait one..

nowadays R n C like to do this..
whenever they are angry..they wan us to say sorry to them one leh..
they will go : "i'm angry..say sorry to me"

very demanding right??

Anns,
i oso encounter the same thing..R wans my mil to pour water for him..other people cannot pour for him one lor.
then my mil not free..so she asked him to wait..but he cant wait..keep whining n keep repeating the same thing until she oso get pissed off n raise her voice at him..

i oso dunno what to do..at times i will just ignore them...or distract them with sweets...which i think oso not good
but they oso dun listen to reasoning leh..how?
 
that's a good idea! twinlets. should try to record her and play it back on her, and sees what happen.

anyway, this is also the stage where they are slowly to understand how things works and also, the stage they will have permanent memories. just like us remember what we or our parents do when we were 3 or 4 year old. So, sometimes, a lot of things, we have to teach them properly and try not to lose temper (which is easier said than done.)
 
Gosh, sounds all so familiar! Same with JJ.

He would also insist on me or JJdad to do something. And last night, insisted on watching his TV programme when it is almost bedtime. I tried distraction method. I turned off the TV and talked to him about other things and at the same time get him to go to his room. Managed to calm him down and told him that I would tape the cartoon for him to watch, but cannot watch now.

A couple of times JJ was so frustrated that he stormed off back to his room and stayed there. Peeping to see if we would come and pacify him - we didn't. Than after like 5-10 mins, JJ came out and apologised. ???? But good that he managed to calm himself down.

And also noticed the lack of time concept in JJ. The more rushed for time we are, the slower he does his things. Goodness. But I did notice something - the more in a hurry we look, the slower they do things. *faint* So I TRY not to show my urgency to whip him out the door.
 
JJ also said before "Mummy noti, Papa noti". And last weekend, at the beach, we had a malu episode.

JJdad told JJ that it is time to go home and JJ yelled back "PAPA, I SAID 10 MINUTES!!!" and he used a reprimanding tone. Just look at him, a little 4YO there, shortest in the group and talking like that. The parents at the bench beside looked at us with interest. JJdad didn't act on it, but instead just told JJ that no, it is time to go home, still in the same tone of voice.

The thing is that I always correct JJ when he talks to me in that tone, which is not acceptable - at home or outside. But for JJdad, he didn't see it as "immediately urgent" to correct JJ, so he continues to do that to him.

At that point, I came to JJ immediately and told him not to talk like that to Papa. Managed to calm him down and promised him a short walk at the beach (like 2-3mins) before we head home. I think partly also because JJ was tired too, thus the outburst.
 
TL,
I get that too. The only thing I get caught at is when I correct E on the spot of what she has done wrong. When I do that, it will lead to another outburst. Either she will fume, walk away or break into tantrum cos I 'scolded' her. And once that happens, it's gg to be one whole drama. She wld be very very angry cos (1) told to go home (2) got reprimanded. sigh.

sometimes really at a lost.
 
Hahahaha. Ya ya, and we had to quickly find a hole to bury our heads in. Hahahaha. Yes, I get that too, so I have to observe the situation, throw in all my instincts and intuition to decide what to do next.

If JJ was really tired causing him to be whining, chances are that there is no way to get out of the situation without embarrassment. Then I give way a little and asked him to compromise in some way - just to avoid a drama. But if we were at home at that time, I would just discipline all I want. Hee.
 
Haha, i do have to say something. I'm glad i'm not alone and we thought that it was supposed to be easy once they hit 4 because they can communicate better, develop their own sense of judgement and attitude!

Ann, i have the same issue of waking Jay for school in the morning. When we touch him, he will shout "Don't disturb me, i'm sleeping". When we turn on the bedside lamp, he will go "Turn off the lights, it's too bright". We had to coach him by telling him that his frens are waiting for him in school, it's water play day or XX Teacher will be asking why he's not in school(he's afraid of his form teacher) just to rouse him from bed!

He will also nag and nag over the slightest things, like only I and not Daddy can do this for him and only the helper can wear his pants when he jolly well can do it. It does get on our nerves.

I think our kids can sense our negative body langauge.The more we rush them, the longer they take..go toilet, want watch, cap, wear only THIS pair of shoes and they can be so insistent! What i do? (if i can) is to sternly tell him we are not going then and sometimes he will noe we mean "business"!

These couple of weeks, noticed something wierd. When i go out alone with him, i do bring along the stroller sometimes in case he gets sleepy or i do grocery shopping. The strange thing is he will insist of coming off the stroller and walk when we go up or down the escalator and will scream if i insist not to un-buckle him? Any of yours like this?
 
i Agree! they will purposely slow you down, when you rush them.

sometimes i have art of distraction to calm her down
 
Oh boy, it is an ART itself just trying to distract them and calm them down. Hahaahahaha.

I use ALL sorts of distractions, and have to be very creative, coz the same trick doesn't work twice. Gosh.
 
<font color="ff6000">Jaymom</font>
Sorry, have not encountered that, coz I seldom go out with JJ alone and we don't bring the stroller liao. Hee. Hey, but what if you use the lift instead of the escalator? Would Jay still want to get out of stroller?
 
Twinklets
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!! Hope it has been a great one. We have many Junie BBs
happy.gif


TL
I believe lift should be fine.He used not to mind the ascending and descending feeling. Got this feeling he's trying to be manja. Nowadays they can be so princy or princess-sey over the slightest thing!

Jane
All the more we have to show them they are at the losing end. Not us parents..haha although it may not be true.
 
FMN &amp; BBubble
I did pop by Safra on Sat morning but it was so, so crowded. We walked one big round and came out in 15mins. Did the kids have fun?

Will bring him there next week
happy.gif
 
Hi All

Came back from Marina Square!!!
The show...is SO...err.... boring...
When thomas finally appear... it END...Thomas machiam just appear for the photo-taking onli lor
And as Sky refuse to q in advance...so we din manage to get into the area...and watch it from level 3...
But we manage to sit the train TWICE.... mei mei love the train so much that she cried when we are q-ing for the second round as she is SO IMPATIENT!!!But 2nd round I din sit in with them... I just tell Sky to keep a watch out for mei mei and make sure mei mei dun stand...
 
Hi mummies.. finally i have some time to read the posting from u gals..

Seems like most of the kids behave like what you gals mentioned.
JH also like that, sometimes really get so frustrated &amp; start screaming at him.. until he cry then he will kuai kuai listen to my instructions.. how can we teach them har??hmm

Twinklets,
So you are on your own with baby during day time as well?
Me the same like you when finished the confinement.. alone with bbJJ.. as so many things to do other than feeding him. at night also wake up 1 or 2 times.

Btw mummies, anyone bring the kids for any holiday enrichment class? if yes, where? Thought of bring JH for one..
 
<font color="0000ff">Aries</font>
Ya on my own during day time. Now adapting to his routine already, no longer stressed mode as earlier days in forum. hee hee.. Mine will wake up like 1 time, depending his last feed.. Sometimes after I BF him, his eyes still open wide 1.. can last till 2 hrs.. &amp; I'll be so shagged.. Now daytime he keeps sleeping.. his pattern really changes after 1st month. Heng..
 
Aries
I so TEMPTED to send Sky to enrichment for holidays...but my mum sure say NO as she will be the one ferrying him...
So I no choice lor...unless I took whole week leave... (I not much leave liao)

Twinklets
Great that u are adapting well... So how is the solo outing???

Me Sick.... hope can recover fast fast... for sat...and to bring them to Ben 10 next week...(took my child care leave liao!!!)
tmr mc...so plenty of rest at home... hopefully...
 
<font color="0000ff">aries</font>
ya daytime quite gd life, but after midnite not v gd life liao ler.. hahaha.. How's bb JJ?


<font color="ff0000">Glayz</font>
SOlo outing is not bad, but my arms v tired!! cos i duno how to use the bjorn carrier tat my sis lent to me.

Ya must rest rest, drink more water. Hope u recover fast so can bring them out
 
Twinklets
Practise makes perfect la
The thing U need to do is practise at home...when di di not sleeping...and safer la...at least u have ur bed...anything goes wrong..can grab and put him on bed...

My ergo also practise like that one...once u used to it...a BREEZE lor
and tell u hor...once that used to the concept... carrier= gai gai...their eyes will lit up once they see the carrier lor...

Me on MC tmr...hope coy dun call me... accidents does happen when I am not around...haiz...
 
Glayz
hope u are feeling better!
happy.gif


twinklets
how's #2? and how are you?

bday party
I'm going to tear my hair!!!!
remember I mentioned that we decided on a purple theme party in sch for N1?
well, I was going to confirm and buy e cards, balloons etc over the weekend. So me and my BIG mouth, went to ask N1 again, "it's going to be a purple party. Are you excited?"
she said, "NO. I don't like purple"
?!?!?!?!

"erm.. what party would u like now"
"I like Red, I like Green and I like yellow. Can we do that?"
"my dear, that's like the traffic lights!"
"Yeah! mummy, I like! I want a traffic light party!"

she proceeded to tell all her teachers about it since monday. sigh... help! What on earth is a traffic light party?
sad.gif
 
ha ha cute cute N1 !

I decided to STOP asking her cos she changes her mind too often. And the more options i give her (bday cake pics) the more ideas she gets!!!!
 
hi mummies,
I am reading and following this thread without posting.

mckee,
She is so cute, really makes you tear your hair!
I did ask W abt his birthday celebration, at first telling me he wanted a Mickeymouse cake, when I ask him again then he change his mind, added more Disney character to his cake! Faint! Where can I get those design for him!
Think better decide for him myself
happy.gif
 
Mckee
Wahahahahahahahha...a traffic light party!!!
Luckily Sky in PCF..now holidays..no need to scratch head... but the cake hor... we get from e-creative is chosen by him la...he insist he wants race track...and for a party of 4A and 2C we get a 2kg cake...can faint right!!!
 
mckee,
luckily u have not find the things yet..
imagine after u bought liao, then she says she dun wan..
think u will faint mann..

haha..but she is so cute..traffic light theme...
 
glayz,
sky is so cuteee.......
so how long do u think u will take to finish the 2kg cake?
guess, u may hve to start distributing to ur neighbours liao..

anns,
THANKS
happy.gif

so fast hor? i'm getting excited for their birthday..hehe..think i'm a crazy mummy..
 
FMN
My mum and sis took 1 week still cannot finish...
so I tell my mum to throw away the excess la... dun want them to eat the cake liao... scare later food poisoning more jialat right!!
 
Glayz,
WOW..u never help to eat har? :p

actually didn't ur mum n hub "scream" at u for getting such a big cake?

if it will me hor..sure kena "scream" left right centre lor..
 
My hb call me siao la
But I told him...Sky choose the pattern!!!
Think sky will be upset if he saw the cake being different lor..so I just stick along... my mum tot i am kidding...but i had pre-warn her..it a 2kg cake!!!
 
bbrooster
me going mad liao
That hb of mine..pass me his mircocard...and ask me to tt all 2MB of the card of photo from his hp to my pc...and dunno why the tt say is successful...and i cannot find those file lor
 
Mummies.. so no one brg the kids for holiday classes? Or am i too late to find one now :p

Twinklets,
For me so far still ok if he can nap longer during the day , if not i cant do much things.. no time even to express milk ..
If he sleep then i can even surf or check mail..
 


<font color="0000ff">Aries</font>
Joelle is attending a 3-day Chinese Speech and Drama Camp from 0930 to 1530. Tomorrow will be her last day and we are invited to go and watch their performance tomorrow afternoon. So far she enjoy the class but she complain the class is too long and too many children.
 
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