(2005/06) Due in June 2005, Any 1

Shane,
U same same as me wan perfect ideal family life when both parties get equal responsibilites n share same burden. Me can be veri ba dao wanting my ways, but then u will feel veri lousy n tired cos all seem to fall on u. Hence I have learnt to relax n "lower expectation" n close both eyes at times. U try. When I start my part time job, morning always rush rush rush, n beginning hb dun see the burden in me. Later he realises n now he helps in the morning to get A ready n at nite he tries his best to come back early to help out. Yes me agreed, little thing like forget to feed milk or water can realli piss me off. But I try to control n tahan cos I noe he is making his effort. N fully agreed with Mckee, at times they wan to help but just dun noe how lor. Once hb told me, that I could not expect the perfect way in him if I wan him to handle. kekeke So I close eyes lah.
 


sally,
i'm thinking of doing a 'tutu' skirt for E too. hope i succeed haha. i bot some 'props' for her costume liow. keke....

mckee,
i got lah. i always initial to go watch movie, eat dinner. but no spark. cos always me initial and to him it's like 'ok let's go' kinda thingy.
sienz.
 
shane shane...
not idealism lah. it's ur dream for it to work out that way. but dreams don't happen just like that. got to work at it, and eventually you live your dream.

my dad was like that. mum had to do lots, dad tried, but not up to her standard. wah, she nag, she scold, she complain. (haha, my sis & I ended up preferring dad to mum, cos he was quieter!)

In any case, now mum is living out her dream. dad has finally become what she wanted him to do, and he does it willingly. He plays, talks, spends time with N1 & N2 like what I've never seen before. sorry to burst that bubble but it did ake my mum close to 30 years!!! hahaha!!
happy.gif
 
Shane,
same thinking as yours, I also dun like to tell him wat to do. YES totally feels different if we tell him. But lately my patience runs out of A. Hence he takes over alot when he is at home. N I feel super relax n feeling good. Hb is veri attentive n patience to A which I cannot do it,even as a SAHM. Weekdays he tries to clear his work as much as he can, incl staying back late in office. Weekends, he onli check his mails when A goes to bed, sacrifice his sleeps past midnite n does his work. A noes daddy will read n play n let him does all sort of nonsense. So when daddy home, mommy is free. A will comes to me for food n the basic needs. We just have got no choice but to lower our expectation. Then u will see rainbow..... try it out. Dun tired out yrself like this.
 
Shane
i think guys have this ability to zone out when they r doing stuff eg watchin soccer or driving..and i dun think they r aware of it, so u have to tell him. same with Adad.

and if u need daddy to help wif something, pls tell him too. we women always like to assume that our ptrs should be able to read our minds but i'd come to realise tt they don't. hehehe
 
<font color="0000ff">shane</font>
You have alot of good advice from the mummies. Let him make some decisions to let him feel his importance. And don't always make comparison with other daddies especially during quarrel.

My sis hb also bochap kind. Maybe he's just like that. But my sis got to struggle on her own with a toddler and a 2 month old bb.

<font color="0000ff">Sally</font>
When my hb does things not up to my standard I will also nag at him. Actually, we are so use to our own way that we cannot accept other ways. e.g. when my hb hang all the laundry he don't wave the clothes in the air twice before hanging and the clothes sort of stick together. Then I complain he mop floor not as clean as me. But now I keep my mouth shut. Cos I scared one day he will tell me, "then you do yourself lah if you think what you do is better."
 
TV addict
Actually I m the one who is tv addict at home when come to drama series, hb is addicted to news, documentary, n sports and surprisely he can give up n off the tv for A. I cant lei. I will tell A to wait n let me finish. Bad Mommy hor.
 
<font color="119911">Shane,</font>
Actually hor, I can be quite blur when I attend to the needs of cay. There was once I forget to bring milk bottle when we went out. Imagine I remember to bring milk powder, hot water and cool water but not the bottle!
crazy.gif
Few days ago, I forgot to put on diaper for cay before she sleeps!

Maybe I learn to lower my expectations over time... and close both eyes at times. I also come to terms that marriage life will become boring after a while. When we are at home, hb will be bz with his work (either hsework or his office work) and I will be playing with cay or in front of my laptop. Even if we talk, he will be filling me with his work issues and stuff like that, kinda boring lah.

I can be bochap because I feel very drained out to be the sole person handling my kids. I told hb that I want to be runaway mom before. He is worried that I may go into depression and therefore he tries to be more involved. He also knows that I do not have the patience to teach my gals.... I will start screaming like a mad woman within minutes. He is also worried for the 'safety' of his kids so he rather take over the teaching which is what he is good at.


<font color="ff0000">Xmas costumes</font>
I think I can't find any christmasy costumes for cay... can she dress up like cartoon character?
uhoh.gif
 
bbrooster,
Agreed to u totally that our standard always there for us to compare with theirs. heehee
Cleaning hor actually my hb does a better job than me. More thorough n clean. kekeke But he just hates it that I have to mop the floor everyday.
As I no more patience with A, I rather handle the housework n let him handle A. hahahaha
 
Married Life
Yes it can become monotonous. AS we have no helpers, we will try to find whatever time we have. If he is on leave, n A is in school, we will go "pak-tor" having breakfast together outside or some errands, enjoying the peaceful moments. N weekends, we will let A sleeps really early like before 8pm, so we have the evening to ourselves. Cant go cinema, we cuddle n watch movie n enjoy our dinner peacefully in the living room lor. We find all these little moments we can have. No choice as no helper.
 
<font color="0000ff">Sally</font>
I think you, Glayz and I have the same problem. Must mop floor everyday. A clean freak when comes to floor. Spoke to Glayz and she so happy cos she said she finally found someone who can understand her. hahaha.....

But now I have to close both my eyes since I can't do anything. Just let the helper clean twice a week but I did secretly went to vacuum.

My hb is very sick of me vacuuming and mopping everytime when I am around. And he don't understand why I have to do it everyday and sometimes twice a day.
 
<font color="0000ff">mckee</font>
You know why I always log in cos I have nothing to do. Really nothing to do except sitting and lying down, watch TV, surf the net and read magazines. But I like to read from websites so most of the time I am log in.
 
Shane,
Mabbe you are going thru a "phase" in your life. But don't let the "phase" overrule your life. Sometimes emotions can exaggerate and make the situation worse than it already is. Men are sometimes ignorant of woman's needs. Everything also need to push them. Till we also sian to push them at times, right?

So what I can suggest for you to "save" the current situation is to get away from Sg and E for a short while say a day or two. I think it will do you wondrous things and rekindle the much needed fire you need in your life. Just put everything else aside and leave everything back home and just go and take a good break with your hubby. I really think you need it.
 
bbrooster,
ya ya me must mop everyday, according to my hb, I "din mop will die" that kind. My hb super sick when he is at home, seeing me mop. He will say "so clean, still must mop". Weekends, at times I will close both eyes n dun mop lor. But when he naps with A, I will quickly mop secretly. Think we all crazy cleanliness freaks. heeeheeeheeeheee We three cleaning freaks.
 
Caymom
bbshane now still roly-poly lor...
Can sit... but will be doing sit and reach la... and cannot distract her...else she will fall...wahahahahhaha

Shane
Me worse lor...
I make the decision and INFORM him...he cannot even rebuke...
I use to consult him in everything and end up NOTHING done....
Like the ballet class I am going to enrol for Sky...HB object big time...but friends who know me all know no matter how violent is his objections..they are NO USE

I also dun tok to my hb in car or dinner mah
He claim I talk too fast(I talk really fast)... concentrating on me talking make him lost track on the road
and I dun tok to him during dinner as he eat SUPER SLOW and talking make the dinner time even longer..u imagine him eating a bowl of rice at mil place WITHOUT talking is half an hour...boi...he eat like a lady!!!

My hb will love a wife like u leh...without all the nagging
I also dun wan to nag...but my patience is SUPER SHORT...i was a NOW NOW NOW kind of person...ask my colics they will ALL agree
So I always blow my top super easily

Sally
^5
I also dun like the way hb deal withn things becos I can see a BIG BIG MIL shadow!!!

Opps...i speak broken english also... even tho I tend to try to say perfect english...but when ur temper goes up..ur mind just stop moving as well

Wei...sally dun spoil market...make elf custome somemore!!!
 
ixorarred
Now u say the zone out thing...think my hb does also leh...

But he is the eyes open ears shut type...
Can u imagine he always ask me during news..what was just being reported???

Xmas costume
WAH SIAO LIAO LA...
U all so on!!!!!
I need to go and see see liao la

Sally
Wahahahahahahahaha
Me too rather do housework than handle my 2 S...
U see the mop will be there for u to do all sort of thing...and they dun dirty the floor...

Clean Freak
Ya ya.... I am the "I will REALLY die if I dun clean the floor"
On weekends I will be vacumming and mopping...once in the morning, once at night...if sky dirty the floor will be another 1-2 times....
 
Marriage
Last week also had a 'fight' with hb. Even broke down in office cry. Think is the hormones again. Then while sms him the things tat I bu suan him, he also replied sms saying the things he bu suan me too. Wow I was like at the peak of volcano liao, wanna erupt liao. But leh, at the back of my mind, I noe I'm the unreasonable wife here & he really does alot of things for me, daughter & the family. Whereas my focus is just daughter & myself & NO him. Selfish wife i guess. However, being the high ego wife, I simply refused to sms a "Sorry" to him. Finally, I was enlightened by a Mummy fren & I sms him an apolgy sms to him & he accepted tat. When I fetched him later on, both of us shy shy smiled to each other. Tat kinda feeling was so sweet & it kinda rekindled tat kinda sweet feeling when we pak tor.
Ironically, tat kinda sweet feeling only comes back everytime we 'kiss & make up'.


Adora,
glad to hear Chloe is recovering now. Must rem to let her drink more water eventhough she's fully recovered liao.
 
Glayz,
Really peifu u. I dun vacuum/mop the floor at all.
bbcay is older than bbshane by a mth leh. By next mth, bbshane sure can sit very steadily liao.
 
Glayz,
bbcay is quite kpo too and she will look up at us since she sits on the mattress. Sometimes she tilt her head too much and falls onto her back with legs in the air. So funny.
 
twinklets,
You made me tear at the last part leh... I also like the "kiss & make up" part. It's like bring me back to the "pak tor" and wooing days. I like being woo-ed and the feeling of being woo-ed! Haha! I think hor, sometimes we don't appreciate what we have lor. It's like the saying "You never know what you've got until it's gone" kind-of-thing lor.
 
Erlisa,
I think me & Hb very fast together liao, not much of woo-ing.
lame.gif
crazy.gif

Ya agreed wif u on that part. Then hor, we also like to take men for granted too. Only thr' last week fight, then I noe I've been focusing too much on my gal & neglected him alot. I told him "you also focus on our gal alot wat. U nowadays dun even give me a peck when u leave for job. " At least after all these 'clarification', r/s does improved abit. haha.

hee 1 thing I still remember when I asked him during preg with Ashley. I ask him 'so now we having a gal, am I still the most important woman in your life?' He replied "of cos yes". Then I asked again "Baby will be your #2 ?" He replied "yes" again. How untrue, now I'm his #2 liao. Sometimes I wondering whether I'm #3 or not cos he seems to care abt his Mum's feelings more than me.

Anw, lousy tot again, we gog to celebrate his birthday with his mum on Sunday. Sian. Sat gog wedding wif her already, SUnday gog out again with her. Miserable wkend but wat to do? That's the sacrifice a wife has to make when she marrys a damn fillial son.
sad.gif



household chores
I'm the guilty wife here. I also dun mop/vaccum the floor. Mop is done by MIL. & she's exactly like afew of u mummies here, ie can mop twice per day tat kind. I wanna faint lor. hahahaha. Sorry, guess I'm not a clean freak tat's why I'm having some of ur hbs' mentality like "mop once already, why still need to mop again when floor is already so cleaned?" Guess i can never have such mentality. Sometimes I wonder am I having a man's mentality stucking in a woman's body? Hmm. If I'm not staying wif MIL, I'll definitely engage a PT cleaner to help me clean my house.
 
<font color="ff0000">Glayz,</font>
Yah lor, si jiao chao tian.
lol.gif


<font color="aa00aa">Twinklets,</font>
My hb dun even mop every week and I'm not complaining. Actually, we are seldom at home so I dun really bother abt the cleanliness liao. I'm thinking of getting a smaller place if we move to Bedok... at least less area to clean.
lol.gif
 
twinklets..twinklets..
i hope you don't mind my kpo... your mil is a single mom like mine correct and your hubby is the only son correct? we are quite similiar... so sometimes when things are not going so well between me and my mil... i also try to think how i would be like if i am in her shoes.. being a widow at such ... i would also clink on to my children/son.. so take it easy... you don't want your hubby to be wan en fu yi too...
 
Caymom,
haha i support ur idea of getting a smaller place, less area to clean! I also got such tot too. I think doing household chores is really not my cup of tea. think even I mop the floor for my MIL, she'll re-mop again, different std of cleanliness mah.
crazy.gif
I'm those tat will do laundry & mop floor once a week tat kind. I always feel my HB must feel v lousy to get such a wife. & my hb is opposite of me, he's cleanliness freak too. He must be regretting big time for marrying me.
lame.gif
 
twinklets,
Just think of it this way lor. Mabbe the filialness of ur hubby gives u a blessed life in other ways lor. At least, I tot of that way to make myself feel better at times. Hee hee

Anyway, my hubby last time always say he'll treat both me and his mom equal priorities which i don't agree. If he does so, I told him I don't feel special lor. Might as well i become his mother. Haha! Then after much 'discussion', he finally put me a higher priority over his mom. Sometimes this small things also we women make things so complicated. I spoke to so many women and this is soooo apparent between the wife and the mother-in-law.. hahah!
 
twinklets..twinklets..
i hope you don't mind my kpo... your mil is a single mom like mine correct and your hubby is the only son correct? we are quite similiar... so sometimes when things are not going so well between me and my mil... i also try to think how i would be like if i am in her shoes.. being a widow at such ... i would also clink on to my children/son.. so take it easy... you don't want your hubby to be wan en fu yi too...
 
cherry,
err things are ok with me & my MIL. Just tat me kinda sian gotta go out with her on both wkends. Cos i'm lookg forward to wkends 1 der mah. Furthermore gog out with her is never easy. She's very fussy kind & only can go Orchard tat kind. I'm very stressed when going out with her.

Luckily she dun cling to us, she got her own circle of frens. Actually I'm v sian of staying with her for the rest of my life. I dunno how u take it, but i'm still trying to adapt to this fact, 4 yrs marriage liao & still tryg to adapt. Mayb ur case is different, mine is I'm still living in their hse, & their hse dun have my name 1.. So I think I abit bor balance due to this..
 
SOS on breastmilk:
BF experienced mums, can i check if i store BM in fridge (medela bottles) and want to warm up after that, can i pour into the normal milk bottle like pigeon and warm it up? or must i use only BM-safed bottles to warm up before transferring to milk bottle for drinking?

hb involvement:
my hb involvement also not auto type. instruction-driven mainly. sometimes he'll question y i instruct certain things that he don't agree upon then i'll just give him black face lor and ultimately he'll still do it. i've given up hope on my great expectations of a fully involved daddy from hb, as long as do wat i say can liao
 
<font color="0000ff">cherry</font>
I always feel that you are a very good and understanding daughter-in-law. Bet you must be very close to your mother-in-law.

<font color="0000ff">LV</font>
Sorry cannot help you. Last time I just dip the milk bottle into hot water to warm.
 
<font color="aa00aa">Twinklets,</font>
Yah, smaller hse better. I'm thinking of downgrading to 4-rm since we rarely use the dining area.

<font color="ff0000">LV,</font>
I will pour the BM into normal bottles before warming.

<font color="119911">Glayz,</font>
Paiseh! I haven't got back to you regarding the JWT trial. Their schedule for next year is not out yet and there is no Tumble Squeakers class at the moment.

However, they suggest the Global Playroom class which is on Sat 11.40am to 1.10pm (1.5hrs). This is a non-gym class... more for play, story telling etc. The class is $50, with the discount, would be $25. The timing is kinda weird but I think I will go for it since it sounds quite fun. I will probably go in Feb when bbcay is older.

<font color="ff6000">Sally,</font>
Can you pass me the JWT discount vouchers during the xmas party?
 
LV
I pump into milk bag lor...
Then pour those require amt into feeding bottle then warm lor...
Got BM-safe bottle meh...tot all are the same???

BBrooster
kekekekekekeke....
I spend a BIG BIG bomb on leapfrog... till now think amt to $250 liao for these 2 months...

Caymom
I forget abt it...wahahahhahahaha

Sally
Ya..I forget abt the coupon... was in AMK last sat...wanted to call u and ask one...but I forgot after the swim
We are in AMK swimming complex.... tot u may live somewhere near lor
 
Glayz,
You brought bbshane along for the swim? I'm thinking of bringing bbcay for swimming before she becomes too scared of water. Come to think of it, I have not brought cay for swimming for a long long time. Hmm... but nowadays quite cold, maybe not suitable for swimming.
 
Caymom
No she din go in la
She inside ergo all the while... dozing in and out of sleep...wahahahahha...
Sky was shivering... as it was VERY COLD...even my hb buay tahan...they end the swim in less than an hour as my hb is too cold...Sky refuse to come out...but was shaking lor...then we quickly dress him up and went to mIL place
 
Glayz,
Wow, you really invest a lot in Leapfrog hor. Dunno whether to get for cay or not. Is the system standard one? I thought I saw different versions at KP before.

Your hb very on hor. I seem to recall that he enjoys bringing Sky swimming.
happy.gif
 
<font color="0000ff">cherry</font>
I join slamdunk. closing soon left with USD50.
Hurry books are going out of stock at fast rate.
 
LV,
i warm directly from fridge cos my BM already in milk bottles. if u trf when milk is cold, some of the 'fats' will be left behind in the bottle ley.

caymom,
agree, small place easier to clean! hee hee....

mummies,
thks for all ur thots and advices. Actually this pbm i have faced since me and hb was together. he's not the expressive and romantic kind while i m. I'm those who can do alot for love. so maybe we're unbalanced in this aspect.

after so many years together, i have learnt to close one eye, lower my expectation, do it myself and don't expect anything from him. i think my pbm is that I have spoilt my hub.

I don't nag, don't question, don't doubt, do things that make him look good, indulge him in his favorite things. i try to be the ideal wife. he has always been my priority even after E is borned. cos i believe i need to keep my marriage alive even with a kid.

maybe it has come to a pt where i'm sien and tired. since there's only taking and no giving. even 'kiss n make up' has lost its magic for me.

twinklets,
at least ur hub 'discuss' w you. my just keeps quiet. i told him how i feel but he doesn't say anything and just admit it's his neglience. what can i say. he tries to be nice back but i quite 'feelingless' liow.

maybe like wat erlisa say, it's just one of those phases.

thks mummies for 'listening' actually feel quite shy to be airing my grievances here.
lame.gif
 
<font color="0000ff">Glayz</font>
I am upgrading Jo's LeapFrog System but will ask my colleague to get in States. Some systems no sale and they charge as 2-3units. So I order the books first.
 
Caymom
Ya lor...
This frog thing Sky like a lot mah...
think there are 3 types...Little touch, my first leappad and read/write
Think read/write had different versions???

Not too sure lor..

Ya..my hb love to bring him swimming...
But i super bored lor...no handsome lifeguard to ogle also...wahahahahahahaha
 


bbrooster
ya lor...u so good can ask pple to help u buy...for me...NO ONE...wahahhahahaha...so MUST buy from sprees

Anyway...U want can buy the easy phonics (1,2 and 3)...think is $6 each... in SG selling at $49.9 EACH... but prepare to pay a few units of shipping la...they are bulky
 
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