(2005/04) Apr/May/June 2005 MTB

elaine,

same here, I dunno how to discipline my kids. I never use the cane before and no cane at home anyway. My hb does the disciplining by speaking sternly to S & J. Most of the time they persists till we gotta shout at them. At times, I was considering the idea of using the cane a few times so that in future, they will be fearful of the cane threat. But cant bring myself to... But most of time, if I really shout at S, he will stopped whatever nonsense he is doing (usually snatching J's things or beating J)
 


poohy,
think s's behaviour towards j is same as my k towards s... sometimes i see liao very upset but i dun wan to kept scolding k cos of s cos scared make him even more upset wif mei mei... its really an art when coming to discipline kids...

krazy,
i oso use the count method until my kids oso count together wif me... i go '1, 2..' then both of them will say '3, 4, 5...' arrgghhh....

san,
u can let d try fresh milk since ang mo start their 1 yo kids on fresh milk... next yr k's sch will enforce k1 kids to drink milk from cup instead of bottle liao... hmmm... i forsee a lot of protests from k... sigh...
 
re: FM
Justyn still drinks his FM as breakfast and before sleep time. Sometimes, he will drink in the pm before nap too. Me and hubby feel it is good for him to continue his FM as long as he is willing to. Good for kids to have calcium intake.

re: discipling tods
We started discipling Justyn from young when he begins to show signs of imitating adults and understanding what we say. We started off from naughty corner. When he misbehaves, we put him there for a while. That is still being practiced now but we 'introduced' time system. Now, we will tell him upfront how long he will stand there and he will monitor the timing on his own. When he comes out of it, we will ask him to tell us why we made him stand at naughty corner and we would explain to him as well.

I also have the counting system, also started from young.. I do that by verbally counting or using fingers. Usually, I do not need to count beyond 2. I will tell him what I expect him to do before I finished counting to 3. I do not use this tactic as a threat to him, and will carry out what I have said. So he knows and he does not push his luck.

I feel that consistency in carrying out punishments and appropriate behaviour is important between the parents. Also, the reasons of carrying out punishment is important. Many times, we are frustrated and our kids push the button at the wrong time hence results in venting anger on them.

Toddlers are very active at this stage especially if they goes out, they tend to mingle with other kids. For eg, when we are out dining with friends or at restaurants, Justyn will play with the utensils and make loud sounds which can be quite irritating, or he will insists in playing other people's DS and toys.. So before we set off, we set the rules and expectations for him and what he will expect if he does not adhere. I find this very helpful. When he shows signs of misbehaviour, we reminded him the rules again. If he cries and misbehaves, I will carry him to the car till he cools down or we will pack up and go home immediately.

Likewise, when he display good behaviour or does something nice, we encourage him. That helps to reinforce the positive behaviour and boasts his confidence in trying to bring out the positive actions rather than the negative actions which are more useful in getting our attention.
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SeptVirgo,
Your gal must have enjoyed playing with her toys. Perhaps can try to explain to her to bath first and she gets another 10 mins to play before bedtime? Or let her continue for 10 more mins and she needs to take her bath? It could be a win-win situation if you give her a bit leeway while she also enjoys her toy.
 
sweatcorn,

ya.. the thing is S is a relatively well behaved and loving boy most of the time. His mischiefs are mostly related to J. Purposely hitting J, wanting the toy the moment J plays with it and snatches things from J, refuses to share with J. We tried scolding and very rarely as a vvvv last resort light pat on his hands but still same. Last time, J used to let herself be bullied by gorgor... when he snatches her things, she just move on to other things... now that she is older, the 2 of them really FIGHT. :p S kenna scratched a few times on the face by J liao becos he snatches her things.

Funny thing is, S loves bb Joshua very much. Always tell me he likes didi but dun like meimei.

Only explanation I can think of is maybe really... "rooster dog no peace" ;)
 
<font color="aa00aa">tsp:
yes. consistency is the key.
of course it is better to reinforce good behaviour.
and its also true that with different people, our kiddos will try their luck. usually the grandparents. she usually gets her way when i am not around but when i am there and she does it, i will correct her immediately.

like wise when i am disciplining her, i do not like grandparents to interfere and i make it very clear. once, they interfered and i hit cheryl even harder and i told her in front of them that there is no leniency. so now my in laws also know that they should keep quiet when i am disciplining her.

sweatcorn:
ahahahah
c is very afraid when i start counting because she knows she cant push her limit else i will really smack her. </font>
 
Septvirgo,
yeah, need lots of patience with kids. Having kids help bring my temper in check.. h aha

psi,
agree. Grandparents dotes on kids a lot that it is so difficult to discipline kids in their presence. I had the problem with MIL's sister instead of MIL. Relationship between me and her was very soured and strained at a stage..She went around telling everybody that I do not like her and badmouth about me..

What I did was I discipline Justyn after she leaves or when we get home. thereafter, he will behave and listen to me instead. When I am not around, she gets 'tortured' lor. Times tells, so everyone is convinced that the problem does not lie with me..

It is easier to manage my dad side rather than hubby's family side. So I close eyes lor. Good thing is Justyn is also quite well behaved. best of all, we stay on our own so it is not as bad as having to put up with inlaws under the same roof.
 
<font color="0000ff">Discipline</font>
I guess Valerie is considered one of the milder kids here so no, we have never used cane, neither have we really beat her. Most of them times we are fierce and she'll break down like mad. If she tries to push her luck we'll go "I SAID..." or after several warnings she still don't listen, we'll scold her quite fiercly (esp hb).. and she'll really be damn scared.

She does have her cheeky moments but are still veri much within her boundaries.. but yesterday.. she drew on my wallet!!! My heart really cringe when I saw the pen mark!! I told her (nicely) tt she cannot draw on pple's things and she looked like she want to cry liao..

<font color="119911">FM</font>
Hee.. Valerie hasn't been drinking FM since Nigel came along. But my supply is dropping &amp; Nigel is drinking more so she has to start drinking FM again.. normally she drinks 3 times a day, 150ml each. If don't want FM, full cream milk is fine for their age.

<font color="aa00aa">In laws interferring with discipline</font>
Ya.. my MIL will tell my HB off tt we shouldn't let them cry so badly. Whatever wrong Valerie did (normally is shout at grandparents coz wan to watch tv but we switch it off coz too late etc) and she'll try to 'mitigate' the whole incident by saying Valerie didn't shout at her..

But HB makes it very clear to her tt when we are disciplining Valerie.. she cannot interfer and coz she knows and she can't bear to see Valerie gena scolded by us.. she'll make herself scarce.

lol
 
krazy,
the power of cane veri strong...even just count 1,2 stop liao. but do bear to hit it down with force. I ever tried using hand to beat paige but always hold back the force part, so it's not so painful for her.
do you just hit once with cane or a few times?

sweatcorn,
ya, sound veri poor thing but it works for k. but after u hit k with a cane, doesn't he cry even longer? then cane again to ask him to stop crying?

septvirgo,
my gal also like tat, tell her to bath she also take her sweet time, still tell me, I dun wan to bath, everyday she'll go against wat we say. have to bribe her to get her to do things...which I find can't be bribing her forever.
then when bathing, paige will play inside too, tell me I wan bubble, I wan tis, I wan tat...then getting her out from shower is another thing, she'll take her sweet time again.

san,
tell u a joke, a few mths ago (just last yr), paige saw a bunch of cane tied up together...I tink she tot it's some kind of 'play stick' with a umbrella hook at the end &amp; tell me, mummy I wan tis. I looked &amp; tell her, u sure u wan tis???
then the person beside me laugh. I told paige, tis is not for playing, it's for mummy &amp; papa to use to beat u when you're naughty. Beat liao, veri painful one. Then she quickly said, I dun wan.

D run to 'jiu bin' when u cane her...like tat hard for her to understand y she wrong coz she got others to back her up, sayang. does her teacher ever ask u about her cane marks? my lady boss kanna asked by the principal regarding her son's cane marks...it's not my lady boss cane but her mother.

twinklets,
hanger?? hanger more painful leh, wire or plastic? I tink cane not as painful as hanger.
ya ya, kids always tink of excuse to lighten their fault, Ashley clever, knows by saying nai nai also break the bowl so tat if nai nai dun get beaten for tat, she also wouldnt get beaten too...paige too, always find excuse or point the blame to didi.

Meow,
D climb coz he boy but my gal climbs more then my boy, worse chio &amp; teach didi to go higher &amp; more dangerous areas...catching 1 is hard liao, catching 2 siong...scold &amp; scold, warn &amp; warn but still climb. fall down many times but still climb.

poohy,
at least S is quite a good boy. ya, I same with u, considering the cane threat but also cannot bring myself to. still tinking should I start the cane threat or other pushiment? I have a friend who uses 'face-the-wall' treatment, when ever her gals naughty, she make both of them face the wall until they know they're wrong then come back.

tsp,
ya, hard to discipline kids when staying together with mil, sure run to them &amp; our kids can't really learn wat went wrong coz wat's in their mind at tat point of time is, papa/mummy bad, beat me, popo gd, sayang me.
 
<font color="aa00aa">elaine:
i hardly use the cane now. it was only in the initial stages where i thought i should start to discipline her when she was naughty.

the first time i used the cane, i struck her once, she dint listen but was shocked. then she continued so i counted 4, and hit her twice. she felt the pain but still trying her luck. then i told her, if i had to count to 5, she would get 3 strokes.
then she realised how the game was played and she stopped.

and that was that. so after that incident, no more nonsense from her. i havent been using the cane on her since and now, i think she has forgotten the pain of the cane already. hahahah
and beginning to start to push her luck again every now and then.

tsp:
when they interfer, they dont understand that they make things more difficult. my hub will lose his temper big time and not only shout at c, will shout at his parents too! and i hate such scenes.

meow:
the "standing by the wall", "facing the wall", "sitting on thinking chair" (this is the method that c's sch teachers use) are effective too. </font>
 
suddenly a lot of posting.... too bad... i'm on half day yesterday afternoon... let me finish my work then read and contribute..... haha
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Morning gals,

Today I'm on leave, gog to bring Ashley out later. hehe.


<font color="0000ff">Elaine</font>
Ya we use hanger plastic 1. I think I lay tat on her butt once cos tat 1 very pain. Most of the times we just use the hanger to hit hard on the sofa or table, to have the sound effect. SHe heard liao she scared liao. I used my mum's cane once or twice when at my mum's home. But she not really scared. Both my Mum &amp; Father got their own set of 'cane'. I'm glad my parents will disclipine her when she is very notty. But whoever disclipine her at that moment, she'll run to the other party. hehe. But at least they will scold her when she is doing notty acts &amp; not really give in to her. My Father will tell her to keep her toys whenever I reach their house to pick her up. My Mil also v fierce to her when she is v notty. So far I think I'm blessed with cooperative grandparents.
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I also use something like face the wall, but mine is go into her playroom. I will go in with her &amp; ask her to face that window. Close the door so noone can save her. Normally I use this to threaten her when she refuse to take her dinner etc. I'll ask her 'So u want to go to small room &amp; face the window or eat ur dinner?' She will reply 'eat dinner'. Think she can remember v well she goes that room just to cry &amp; cry &amp; she hates it. If u really bu ren xing to use cane method, u can try such method.

Btw, u got use the 'choice' method? example "u want cane or u want bathing?" let her choose?
 
<font color="aa00aa">canes:
btw, i use the plastic stick on the balloons from macD! hehe..

havent bought a real cane! hehehehe

so i always tell c, if she wants a balloon from macd, mummy gets a new cane.</font>
 
poohy,
ahahaha... your 'rooster n dog no peace' is funny... mabbe our kid's age gap very close, tt's y they then to compete wif each other... sigh... my shanice will not fight back but she will come crying to us to say 'gor gor beat, pain pain'... very poor thing like that... my mum observe that sometimes my gal likes to disturb her gor gor... purposely kick the blocks that his gor gor is playing then run to my mum for shelter... so gor gor angry loh, beat her loh... sigh...

elaine,
cannot cane him to stop cos the more u cane, the more he'll cry... so hv to console him after u beat him... take the chance to tell him what he has done wrong loh... usually i cane, hubby will console, hubby cane, i'll console...
 
Hi everybody
So long never post here.. but I've been popping in to read as and when I am free.

Been tied up with settling in new routine ever since Hazel started cc.

Hazel has started cc for almost 2 weeks already. She is still crying alot and v cranky at home, but I think she is settling in to the cc routine.

<font color="ff0000">caning</font>
I don't have canes at home and I try not to have one cos I know with my temper and my kids' misbehaving, I sure cannot tahan and will whack them with the cane. I don't want to beat and regret later.

With Zavier I used rubber band since he was v young, so he still has fear for rubber band. It used to be quite useful as a deterrance. But given his stubborness now, he will protest, jump and fuss when I threatened him with rubber bands. So got to calm him down and reason things out.

Hazel is still fearless of any punishment instruments, but just a loud yell at her will set her off crying. She's the princess of the family, which I regret not instilling enough discipline on her. Can foresee her becoming a spoil brat if we didn't send her to cc soon enough.

<font color="0000ff">tsp</font>
Baby's engaged means you may be popping soon. All the best for your delivery!
 
twinklets,
i seldom use hangar but if happen i in the kitchen hanging clothes and she piss me off that moment, then i will pick up the hangar to threaten her.

elaine,
actually when i cane her, nobody will back up her lah. just that nite after i wack her 1 time, she standing there and cry while i walk away. then the maid faster come sayang her. So far, i don't cane very frequent so, teacher yet to ask. just that the cane is a threatening tool which we use it very very frequent.

same here. hard to ask her to bath but once go in, also hard to ask her come out. usually i will bribe her and tell her if after she does this, then i will give her sweet or let her do someting etc. but alot of times she like 'climb over my head' thinking, wah, mummy so nice so nver even bother to listen even if i sweet talk her. Then my patience will run out and i will take my cane out. She will then 'i dun want i dun want' then willing to go do the things i ask her to do. Talk nicely, bribe them, she take it for granted.

btw, did you saw their english teacher before? that day very funny. i was reading a book explaining what is freckles to D. Telling her brown spots on the face etc. Then she told me, 'my teacher face pink pink'. I really laugh out. haha.

psi,
ballon stick is 1 of my 'punishment' tools as well when i don't have the cane.

re: FM
this morning again throw away 150ml of milk and even tell my mum 'last time i drink already'. must be last nite she drank so she refer it to 'last time'. haha. last nite i gave her 150, she can't even finish. but at least better than nothing. if really she reject it, then have to swop to Full Cream and Fresh Milk lor. still need calcium for their age but just that this kind of milk no DHA/AA etc kind of added 'benefits'.
 
<font color="aa00aa">Mummies:

is any of you interested in getting Really Raw Honey? I will be getting the 2LB size bottles. If you are, please PM me.
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psi,
is this from the BP in SMH? i ever saw the BP there. Is it good? I wanted to let D try but usually i let her take Manuka.
 
<font color="aa00aa">san:
a lady did this bp in the forum before. but i am getting it from someone else. and at a much better rate. hehe.

i also used to take manuka but ever since i started this, my manuka is sitting there collecting dust already. (which is not good cuz i still have more than half left.)

personally i find this very fragrant and tastes better. its very creamy too.

twinklets:
yeah!
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got it, will take it down.
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thanks!</font>
 
krazy,
there was one day i brought Sheryl to a shop and buy cane....not 1 but 2. Ask her to pay and the shop owner ask you must be naughty that mummy bought 2 canes. Hee..yeah if i cant find a cane, i'll use that balloon stick for a cane too. But that one not as pain as the real one leh.

you gals taking about honey ah...i was thinking of the indian snack instead leh...haha, spelling more or less the same and that's my fav
 
<font color="aa00aa">florence:
edie is so adorable!!
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poshies:
morning!!
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me resting at home.. got 2 days of mc.. hee</font>
 
twinklets
I use plastic hanger too. Same as you, I usually hit hard on the floor or table to scare my son. It works!
 
<font color="aa00aa">san:
hmm.. i didnt use to take honey at all. but bought a bottle of manuka cuz a lady came to my sch to sell.

so i got c to drink but somehow she didnt like the taste. then i came to know of this really raw honey and bought a bottle. and when i gave it to c, she liked it and asked for more.

then i also tried to read up and found that it also helps to build up immunity amongst others. and so i also started taking and see if real or not.

it says can prevent cough and c used to be rather prone to coughs so i wanted to see if it helps. and after a few months i realised it did. in fact, i also found myself getting less throat irritation and i am a camel. i can go without water for days i tell you!

and that was how i tested lor. hahahaha but of course the body will retaliate lah. once, i completely put off my cough - its those where you will lose your voice and then develop fever kind. and that was when i knew it really works.

so now i religiously take it every evening. my husband and c also take it.

i am getting like 8 bottles already for myself, colleages, friends and family. and i will be asking her to deliver to my parents' place in woodlands. i will go pick up from there when i visit during the weekend. btw, i stay in the east.

i am consolidating orders and by this sat, will tell her the final orders. if you keen, let me know before this sat.
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</font>
 
<font color="aa00aa">poshies:
can collect at jurong east

jurong mrt = 630pm weekdays
raffles place=615 pm
admiralty mrt - weekends.
</font>
 
psi,
help me order 1 then. wanted to try very long ago but ponder on the price. since my manuka already finish and you promote so well (hehe), think its worth to try.
 
<font color="aa00aa">san:
sure!
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i will add your orders in.

if you are a honey drinker, you will sure be able to tell the difference.
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<font color="aa00aa">twinklets:
hahahha. no lah.. its because i dont like to promote things which i personally havent tasted or tried.

and if its really good stuff, i like to share.
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</font>
 
hmm... krazy... would like to try... but hor... hubby and i don take mrt to work... so would not be passing jurong east lah.... har.... now headache... maybe u order 1 for me 1st.... since i might need to go to north.... cck to meow place to collect sometime then i can go n collect it together.....
 
hullo mummies,

TSP has given birth to her baby gal today @ bb weighs 2405 gram.
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We shall look forward to hear her birth story &amp; see her bb gal photo.


<font color="ff0000">Congrats TSP!!</font>
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Hey Mummies,

Anyone's kids' are doing writing already? Tcr in childcare say thyler will not listen. SO when i spoke to him, he says he dunno how.. SO i tell him I will buy a bookand help him at home. Thyler says ok but now i got another problem.. What book is appropriate for his age ah?
 
<font color="0077aa">wen,</font>
Did you ask the teacher what are the kids learning to write? Alphabets or numbers? Keane's teacher informed that they will learn to write 11 to 20 and alphabets in lower case this year. So I bought those tracing books for him to learn how to trace the alphabets and numbers.
 

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