(2005/01) Jan 2005 Mom-To-Be

so scary! the world has definitely became a much dangerous place with this cyberworld. And kids just don't know what kind of risk they are exposed to. actually, 1 of my relative also like that, met a guy from cyber, got pregnant and didn't even know this guy's contact details. and she is an adult.

i think all these cyber, electronic stuff do cause more harm for kids if not manage properly. takes away the chance to socialise, do sports, do more outdoor stuff, reading, etc.

can't believe on the part about having pressure to have a boyfriend. i think age 10-19 is the period where the parents have to spend more time to connect with the kids and how to manage peer pressure. it is usually the need to join and be accepted by a group or poor self esteem. sigh...i too have passed through those days, learnt the hard way, definitely don't want that to happen to the boys.

yah, depending on what you are currently spending on, $3k would seems quite affordable. like some of my friends who are already spending $1k to $800 a month for childcare, a $5k to $8k school fees is considered a lower educationa expenses. will definitely consider your points. in the private school that i am considering, they start from 5 with curriculum on family life (a balanced & comprehensive coverage on human sexuality, making healthy & responsible life choices) and Health (looking after their physical and emotional health)till 11 yo. these are the 2 subjects which I would like to have back in my growing up days. and it think it is even more important for the boys especially when we are staying in a place where family values tend to be more 'loose' than where we come from.
 


BabyD, yah teenage sex is starting at 10.. so scary! Do these kids even know what they're doing? I have gone through the crazy teenage phase myself.. did some wild things I'm not proud of and I tell you, the thought of my kids going through a fraction of what I went through just freaks the hell out of me! :p Silly teenage years... aiyah... if we could fast forward the awful teenage years hor?

Tetra, I think you're right about the difference in morals although today they reported that marriage rates in Oz are on the uptrend and divorce rates are declining! That's good news
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Maybe it's because more people are revisiting their morals? Singapore is heading in the opposite direction though.
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catz: exactly the same sentiments. I will also freak out if my kids are to go through some part of my growing up days. I was so rebellious! can't imagine how I am going to handle them if they too become like that.

hmm, that's something new to me about the increasing marriage trend and declining divorce rates. good to hear that. i think people here are going back to basics. and they are plently of families who prefer to stay in the country or away from city so that the kids can grow up in a wholesome local community i.e. like everyone knows everyone - all go to the same school, market, maybe even chasing after the same girl. but generally, i find that most mums here like being with their kids, always bringing the kids to playgroups and they enjoy bringing up the kids. maybe it's bcoz no choice lah, no helper, and also no help or intervention from in laws.
 
Sex at 10 years old is statutory rape! It's funny, when I was 10 years old, I didn't like boys at all. They were irritating bullies, in my opinion. But then, none of my classmates had boyfriends in primary school. I went to an all girl's secondary school and spent most of my time trying to juggle homework, sports and piano lessons. It was a pretty sheltered life, but the teenage years were still terrible even without boy problems... still remember being tormented by the "what's the meaning of life?" questions. I'm really starting to worry how my kids will cope with adolescence, seems to be full of heartaches and painful lessons. Much as we want to shield them, I don't think it's possible. At that age, they basically don't want to listen to their parents and only believe what their friends say.
 
Tetra, so true about the moms being hands on. Here, it's a rare sight to see families without helpers :p

babyD, I was an all girls' school nun until JC. Haha.. but you're right, it was already very awful to go through the whole zitty awkward phase even without the extra boy problems. Adolescence is the stage I'm really not looking forward to. Just take it as what we're doing now is laying the foundation for good character, good (well, as good as can be) decision making and we'll have to learn how to give our teens freedom even when we feel that it's too early.
 
I remember there is this christain pastor on oprah, he said that it is a common thots among parents that once the kids reach adolescence, it's time for them to explore, be on their own since they have their own thots, the desire to try things out anyway there is no way to stop them. He felt that it is even more important for the parents to be closer to the kids, to be on top of things. You can let them try things out, experience things 1st hand but the parents will always be there for them, catching them if they fall, most important to talk about the lessons and how to get over it. At least the kids can still experience life within bounderies then slowly expand depending on the child's maturity. I thot so too, most parents always thot that the teenagers are old enough to take care of themselves, just leave them alone. I think the talking and connection help.

I think it helps if the teenagers are occupied with activities, otherwise they will just explore some unheathly activities. Especially boys, so much energy.
 
Tetra,
Yah, that's what all parents do, and that's also why all the teenagers always complain that their parents are too controlling.

I agree that being super busy with activities helps a lot. I recall being super busy in secondary school, with activities almost every day and my Saturdays were always packed from 9am-6pm. Guitar lessons in the morning, training in the afternoon, piano lesson at 5pm. It was just insane. There were days I would be so tired, if I hadn't finished my homework during recess, I might not be able to finish it in the evening as I would have fallen asleep at my desk!
 
I remember some time ago, some of you enrolled with berries, was it piggy & tetra. I'm thinking of pulling Sherman out of his current chinese enrichment class at St James and put him in berries. How is Linus' mandarin now? How much are the fees?
 
I did place Lucas in the K1 class. I highly recommend it. It was a basic introduction to chinese and it did help to wear off his resistance to chinese. But don't expect that he will speak fluently from this class since it is only once a week. I think only k2 onwards, they are more in sentencing.
 
Hi Hi,
Oh...so fast talk about teenage years? My son came back from school last week telling me that he kissed one girl in class and on the lips!!! Ha Ha... I have to asked him again but very calmly who was the girl and what did the teacher say?
Now, they start at 5 years old!!

BabyD,
His mandarin improved lots. His conversational skill still not so good but he can understand most things we say in Mandarin. (which is a far cry from before)I think fees for a term is less than $400.

Malaysia
Just came back from Redang and we had a good time! The beach is beautiful and the fishes are plenty!! L enjoyed himself so much and keep telling me that he is sad to leave.
 
haha...getting younger these days. Anyway, Linus is always mature for his age.

Never been to redang but my parents raved about it. We will definitely want to go there with my parents and gang. Did you all drive there or take a coach?
 
Hi ladies! Sorry have been busy with selling hubby's car, drawing up our wills etc :p Less than a week to D-day
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Piggy, wow Redang! So how was the plane ride? I'm scared I throw up all the way :p Would love a nice beachy vacation!!!!! Nice nice..

Aiyah dunno what's up with the kids these days. Timo got poached away from his #1 girlfriend by the #2 who got fed up of being the substitute. Now she doesn't even allow him to talk to the other girl. Have already talked to him and said that kindy is for making friends, not to be exclusively with one person ONLY. :p Trust me, it was sooooo hard to keep a straight face!
 
Tetra,
We took a plane. Went by Air Berjaya via Seletar airport. It was a propeller plane and it was great fun to be able to see its propeller spinning. I have never been on such a plane before and it's a great experience.
The water is very clear and we could see many fishes in the water, which is only in front of the hotel. Flight is short at 1.5hours. If we drive, I doubt I will go as the driving will be too tedious.
 
Catz,
Plane ride was good. At first, I was a little worried that it may be too loud for L, who can go hysterical with thunder at times. But despite the age of the plane, the sound insulation is still good. I am a very pukey person and since I didn't puke, I doubt you will too.

Your HB is leaving for Afghan, correct? I think it will be hard in the beginning for you to get used to his absence. But it will get easier. We had our wills drawn up years ago too. I think it's a very practical thing to do, Afghan or not.
 
Hi mummies!

Long time din log in.. Good to know that all's well!

Piggy, you're tempting me to go Redang! How to book? Might wanna fly there for a short break during this holiday..

Catz, Heidi was talking abt marrying a boy since last year! Nowadays, they start really young
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BabyD, Heidi is also attending Berries. But her mandarin is still not good. She just started for 2 terms only.
 
catz: tough lah. I think you will have to come in his teenage days to fend off the girls too. dunno what to say except jiayou, focus on kids for this 1 yr and it will pass by in a glance.

piggy: brave! my hubby will rather drive than to take a propeller plane.
 
I went redang many years ago with my best friend. Really beautiful, the nicest beach and clearest water I had seen, we just snorkelled and snorkelled. We took plane, bus, then boat! The bus ride was terrible, but the rest was ok.

Luckily for me, Sherman still plays with boys, hardly talks about any of the girls in his class. I think definitely no GF yet. Tim v popular hor.

As for berries, still not sure. He has no problem understanding, just doesn't want to try speaking much, even in class. But he can read his school reading books if he wants to. I think by memory, but at least it's correct.
 
Piggy,
Thanks! We got to put off Redang for now as hubby's very busy this week. However, we might go to Genting next week.

Catz,
Since its school holiday, hope the whole family can spend some good quality time together!
 
Piggy, I had a bad experience with prop plane gg from UK to Italy.. puked my bladdy guts out. No thanks :p But Redang does sound v v nice!!

Aiyoh dunno what's up with the kids these days! I honestly hope to God that my kids don't start dating too young. HOpe to send my girl to a convent. Hehe.

Angela, Tetra, Piggy and all, thanks! Trying to spend more time but he still has to go into office on and off. Aiyah, what kind of lousy embarkation leave is this?
 
catz: haha...send Beth to convert, I don't think your hubby will agree. Quite sick, isn't it when you can't spend time with him before he leaves. Your hubby very 'on' one, is it? Tell him that wife comes first lah.
 
Tetra, actually it's my hubby's idea to stuff her in the convent. Cos he knows she's quite headstrong and can be the 'wild' sort. Haha. At least he's not blind to his darling's fault.

Aiyah those things cannot escape. All the last minute briefings etc. Anyway we went to East Coast today, played until gao gao.. tomorrow is pak tor for us while the kids go for the Hi5 concert and dinner with my parents
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don't lah, such a waste to send Beth to a convert. The grandparents sure oppose to it, maybe even hide her to escape the convent.

Good lah, have a romantic day with your hubby. wear nice nice ok.
 
Tetra, my parents sent me to all-girls school all the way wor.. hehe.. think all will be in agreement to send her to convent. Kekekekeke..

Nice nice ah.. will try
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went to the adelaide royal show today, really dead pan tired. expensive so we were there from 1030am to 9pm, ending with fireworks. Still genting highlands carnival rides are the most value for money. this show is like all the shows/ exhibits/ carnivals put into one. Really an eye opener for us, never see some funny looking chickens, pigeons, sheeps and goats. really really weird.
 
Catz,
Hope you had a good "pak tor" time.

Tetra,
Ya, I remember when I was in UK, the chickens there are so strange.... Never could imagine they come in that shape and package. Really eye opener.
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SCHOOL
School starting again. Sort of can't wait to send him back though I think he is not keen to go back.
Just told me that teacher told him big cough or small cough also not allowed to go back to school. So small already know how to "geng".
 
Catz,
All girls school definitely a good idea. I think primary school still ok to be mixed, but secondary school better be single sex to avoid unnecessary distractions. There were previously lots of controversies about convent girls, but I really think every school, even good all girls schools, will have their bad eggs. We can only pray that our kids don't mix with any of them.

Tetra,
I'm so curious to know how the chickens and goats looked funny...

Piggy,
Not new... Sherman also know how to "geng", complain stomach ache and ask if he has a fever. He fell down running on Friday while we were flying kite and had a big graze on his knee. He was still whining "pain" on Sunday before his bath even though he had been running around the whole weekend.
 
Hi Piggy, I'm ok so far. The kids have been minus Daddy for a week + 1 day and now they're starting to wonder where he's gone even though we videochat/talk every night. Sigh. They're really too young to understand. Think it will be harder to cope with their questions a couple of weeks down the road lah.

BabyD, haha.. I think all girls are the way to go.. I'm not an overprotective parent but I do think that my daughter is horrendously headstrong. Would rather she did her awkward growing up stage away from boys :p
 
sorry, when catz mentioned convent, it didn't came to my mind that she was referring to a school. What was I thinking??? haha...

On this subject, yes, I am also more supportive on single-gender schooling education. Lots of research have shown that there are lots of difference in the way boys and girls learn and if the teaching staff can't appreciate the difference and incorporate in the teaching approach and curriculum, there will then be higher % of underachievers (like me lah...)or seeing more behavioural problems. More so for boys than girls since in general girls have more better skills and abilities to concentrate and fit in the current classroom setting. Some boys (or most boys) needs more kinetical, experiential learning approach, more visual, more instructional guidance and shorter breaks for them to discharge energy and recollect their mind - can concentrate better with lesser disruptive behaviour. And having more male teachers/ coaches helps to play the mentoring role for boys. and many more lah... still reading

so after reading a few books and research articles from the web, ok decided to go for the Christian Brother's College...and hope for the best for the boys.

there are also some co-ed schools which have worked this out perfectly well by conducting certain subjects by gender grouping and have shown great improvement in the studies and learning interest in both boys and girls. but more work for the teaching team and need more resources.
 
Tetra.. hheheehhe... yah you imagine I'm forcing Bethany to join as a nun ah?
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I think her daddy also wishes :p

Congrats on your decision to go for the Christian college.. I believe you won't regret it.
 
yah, man that's why i say such a waste, your hubby won't agree lah. Mu mum-in-law wanted to be a nun before she met my father-in-law but she had only 1 lung (got TB that time) so cannot qualified or what. Anyway, she kinda of have such strong influence on my hubby that time that he almost wanted to be a brother for the jesuit. MIL was very happy but after 6 months in the course, he realised that he was actually doing it more to fulfill her dream. He realised it wasn't his calling and so back to his normal life otherwise we would not have met.

haha...congratulations? machiam as if my boys have graduated...how i wish. That day i was reading theeir newsletter, the principal for the junior school will write that he informed the boys not to throw olives @ each others (plenty of olive trees at the playground), and he was glad that none of the boys has been caught doing so. haha...things like that also report, quite funny but i like the level he worked with the boys. if in spore, imagine principal writes the same but is about throwing angsana seeds or worst pong pong fruit, sure kanna complained by parents for writing such trivial matter.

then he was saying things like the boys are aware of the punitive systems for crossing the line and none has ever crossed the line. He was sharing that the boys need a clear set of limits and once they understand, they with behave within the boundary. so if caught swearing once, is detention; twice is suspension. haha...new to me too. hmm, if lucas swears in mandarin or dialect (not that he swears lah in case you r getting worried), will they know? then they have this dancing lessons for 14-16 yo boys, girls from another girls schools also attend this lessons then they learn to dance like waltz or something like that in their uniform, machiam like tu fong wu. also new to me lah. then no point choosing the pretty girls because the dance requires them to swop partners every 3 mins. hilarious to me!
 
Tetra, OMG your hubby actually wanted to take vows?! Er actually why would anyone get rejected from a convent? I mean, there are so few people willing to take up vows lor.

So cute, the principal's update.. I think it's definitely a good choice
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Tetra,
To be a brother for the Jesuit means not able to get married, kids, etc?

Catz,
I think though they are too young to understand, they are very adaptable, even more so than the adults. Can video chat/talk every night is good la, at least you will not feel so worried.
 
Yah, to be a brother for jesuit means can't married. As for his mum, he told me that the church felt that the work could be too demanding on her health as she has only 1 lung. But boy, she is actually quite fit, she gave birth to 5 kids.

yah, agree with piggy, can skype every night is quite good. how's he coping there?
 
Tetra, Piggy, yah tonight is the first night he hasn't made contact for the entire day.. sigh.. hope he's OK.
 
Tetra,
Wah, didn't know your hubby so religious he wanted to take vows. From the sounds of it, think your kids will be in good hands in that school.

Catz,
Don't worry too much. Think kids can tell when we miss hubby and they get blue too. I hate it when hubby travels, Sherman doesn't like it either and becomes rather emotional about things when he's away.

Last week, my SIL started dating her 1st bf. About time, she's in her final year at uni. Hubby keeps on fretting and worrying whether the guy is decent or not, asked me to "talk" to her multiple times. I refused, cos she's so big already and the guy is her classmate. If not decent, she would have "seen through" him after knowing him for 3 years right. This kind of prep talk is best left to my MIL anyway.

Hubby told me this sister is like his daughter because he watched her grow up (13yr gap). I had to swallow my giggles when he told me "Cham ah, next time when Sherilyn get a boyfriend... I sure cannot let go. She'll probably get it worse..." This kind of reaction, I told him confirm go all girls school better. He said, "but the primary school is co-ed, how?!" No choice what, both of us went to co-ed primary school. She's quite shy, hopefully won't become a social butterfly when she grows up.
 
Piggy, you are right.. he kept meaning to call but yesterday was the last day to download info from the two guys who are leaving today. Ah well.. MEN!

BabyD, I'm not the emotional sort but I think now they're starting to think something's amiss cos their daddy's been away for so long. Sigh.

Wow your SIL is so young! My hubby says he will be tailing Bethany from sec school onwards.. haha.. men are so protective of their bao bei daughters!
 
BabyD,
Ha ha... Your HB very funni...ask you to talk to your SIL. Say what? Educate about sex? heehee... I think if your PIL is OK, it's not in us (especially as a SIL) to say anything. Yes, I think Sherilyn will have to deal with her daddy later on this matter.
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My HB also says that if L is a girl, he will not be able to imagine him dating later on. I guess this is quite normal for dads.

Catz,
Wa...tailing Beth. I am sure she will rebel if she is headstrong as you mentioned. Maybe we should all resort to match-making again?
 
Piggy,
Matchmaking!! I couldn't imagine going for matchmaking, never mind our Gen Y (or will it be Z by then) kids. Haha... are we all thinking too far here, our kids not even in primary school yet!

Catz,
Wah... your hubby wants to play PI and tail his daughter. So if she goes out with some guy what is he going to do? Is he going to ban BGR during Sec Sch? I was just thinking the other day... even if they go to single sex sec sch, still got church friends in youth group etc, there's no way to turn them into nuns and monks until they come of age.
 
BabyD and Piggy, I think he really sounds v serious about tailing her :p That day when we were watching father of the bride, he was like quite choked up. Aiyoyo.

Matchmaking ah.. erms, I think there would be major rebellion!
 
haha...this talk about protective dads over their daughters is really funny. I think it is in all daddies' program to protect their daughters. I wonder what will I do or think when my sons start to talking about having girlfriends. I better go find out that the dad is not some sort of wrestler or bikie.
 
Tetra, I think we're more relaxed with boys - with girls the biggest worry is that people eat our daughter's toufu or worse, PREGNANT!! Maybe for the boys, we just worry that they marry domineering wives. Hehe.
 
Catz,
I thought we should equally worry that our boys might eat other people's daughter's tofu or get them pregnant! I cannot imagine what we would do if someone's angry father came to our house looking for my son.
 
I think more worrisome if the boy doesn't want to take responsibility for my daughter. If it is the other way round, I will make sure my son takes responsibility for his act. So I think in this aspect, parents are more worried for their daughters. But then boys have other others areas to be concerned with given their risk-taking nature and bottling up their feelings - dunno what they are thinking/ doing.
 
BabyD,
Ya, I think that is worrying. Especially if more than one parent come knocking at the same time!! Afterall, I think males are "ruled" by hormones more than females.

Tetra,
For boys, the other problem is DRUGS. As for bottling up feelings, I think it can also apply to girls. I guess we can try to communicate with them at a young age to prevent pressure cooker from forming.

Just brought L back from chinese enrichment....Wah... so much complain about his teacher. Teacher talked too loudly. Teacher don't let them go home. Teacher not good.... I don't remember complaining about teachers till secondary school.
 
BabyD, Piggy, I didn't even think about that cos my son very toot. Hehe.

Drugs ah.. fainted :p Didn't cross my mind either.
 
haha...come to think of it, still early. Lucas still wears diaper at nite so still a long long way.

Personally, I think boys more challenging to manage - want to act and the need to be macho but also emotionally vulnerable. Given that next time, they have to take care of his wife (another parents' daughter) and his family, I think it is just so important to guide them to be a good and responsible man, to love and provide for his family. See how many women have suffered as a result of some horrible guys who probably have a terrible childhood or was neglected as a child.

I think friends really have such strong influence on them especially during teenager stage.

My colleague told me that his son will stop talking to her when someone enters the lift. He is embarrassed to be seen talking to his mum in public. He is about 13-15 yo. So funny...
 


another 1 week and my parents, brother, SIL, and nieces will be here with us. so looking forward to it.

weather is weird here. For a week, it was like 29-30 sunny and windy. Then this week, raining with gushing wind, even mild snowing in the hills, about 8-13 degrees. How to predict what the weather will be like in a week time.

oh, and next Sat, we have this Ozasia here, to celebrate the Chinese Lantern Festival. Going for picnic, watch the street performance and fireworks.
 
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