I had the same problem and struggled for years, not being able to have sex with my hubby. So I went to buy the kit on vaginismus.com and I must say with constant practice I really succeeded in overcoming this problem. The main trick I've learnt is to give myself clitoris arousal to the point of climax and I notice that when I'm aroused, it's much easier to insert my finger or the dilator - partly due to the natural lubricant produced by my vaginal walls and the relaxation of my vaginal walls on the way to climax. I think partly is the psychological fear I had of insertion - somehow, arousal helps lessen this fear greatly. This was the main trick that helped me to use the dilators and eventually now have sex with my hubby. Hope this can help someone out there! I still have the VCD from this vaginismus.com website. If anyone is keen, I can just mail out, PM me