Hi all,
Just wanted to share my story to encourage any ladies suffering from vaginismus that this problem CAN be overcome.
I got married last year and after few months of being unable to tolerate any form of penetration, not even fingers, I consulted a female gynae at TMC. On the first visit, she inserted 1 finger into my vagina and it was extremely painful, I was screaming in pain. The homework from the visit was for myself/hub to try the same one-finger insertion exercise at home, with the use of gloves and lots of lube. The second appointment was set 1 month later.
After 1month, we went back for second gynae visit. Disappointingly, I didn't manage to do any 1-finger exercise at all during the past 1 month, because of the fear. So upon hearing that we didn't even dare try the exercise at home, she made hubby try out the exercise at her clinic! Hubby inserted 1finger twice with me screaming and struggling. The lady gynae went:"just continue even if she is screaming, she can take it". Gynae also tried to insert 2 fingers but not able to insert fully. The third gynae appointment was set for 2 months later.
The next two months, we tried very frequently for him to insert his fingers into my vagina, at least every alternate day. Gynae said vagina is a muscle that needs to be stretched or exercised regularly, otherwise it will be painful for me again. As we did the finger insertion more frequently, the discomfort and pain reduced.
At the third gynae visit, the gynae could insert her two fingers very easily. She also taught hubby how to insert his own two fingers (guys fingers are much bigger than lady gynae fingers). He had to insert vertically, and then turn his fingers during insertion such that palm faces upwards. Very painful during the turning part, felt like vagina was too stretched. But lady gynae was very encouraging and said I was making good progress and she said by the next visit I should be able to do a Pap smear. Then she decided to try inserting a lubricated speculum and it went in without problem. Left the clinic feeling very encouraged! Next appointment set for 6 months.
The next six months, the frequency of us trying the exercises was greatly reduced due to work stress. Sometimes we only tried the finger exercise twice a month. Started to feel sad again. Then towards the end of the six months, hubby tried to insert two fingers more frequently and move the fingers in and out. Uncomfortable but tolerable.
The biggest break came when one day, he inserted a lubricated dildo the size of a normal erect penis. This gave me the confidence that soon, I will be able to have penetrative sex.
After 2-3 times (over a week) of inserting the dildo, hubby managed to penetrate fully. Wonderful feeling. And it was much less painful than I imagined penetration to be. Ladies who are battling vaginismus, I encourage you to do finger insertion exercises and for me, when hubby inserting finger, just imagine that an expert gynae is doing it and won't cause you any pain. That helps.
So finally I have overcome vaginismus, less than 1 year after first seeing gynae. Grateful to have found a friendly and encouraging doctor and most importantly having a understanding and patient hubby helps. Recently went back for Pap smear and speculum insertion doesn't hurt at all!
Ladies, you can be cured. PM me if you need any advice and good luck!