Vaginismus
- Thread starter Ital
- Start date
natashawan
Member
Hi ital,
I think you cannot accept Private Messages.
Have you un-checked the box?
If you un-checked, I wld pm you to give you my hp for easy access.
I think you cannot accept Private Messages.
Have you un-checked the box?
If you un-checked, I wld pm you to give you my hp for easy access.
natashawan
Member
Dear ital23...
Hehehe... I guess its time for personal stories huh... Its kind of embarassing though...
But, here goes...
I got married in June 2010. And as you know we first attempted penetrative sex during my first day honeymoon - which is the next night after my wedding night - I suddenly had panic attacks and anxiety (which suddenly occurs that night.. its weird because before marriage I did not even feel scared but that night I suddenly think that my hole was small, hw could it fit and the first time wld be pain... haizz...)
So, to cut short, it was unsuccessful.. my husband were upset.. but he thought that we could try it the next few nights...
Fast forward... after a few half attempts - which always hurts but I kind of bear it and try to relax & crying - one night he did went in full (according to him, but i felt like he did not, like only quarter or half.. after I read the book, I think I know why I only can feel the pain in the first quarter of the insertion coz there's where the PC muscle is right.. i was clenched i guess.. that's why after getting past the muscle, it shld not hurt..) but to be honest, it was very painful for me.. and it was not successful too.
After the attempt, I did check the bedsheet, but no blood... I was puzzled coz something that hurts so much.. but there was no blood? I thought my hymen is tearing (i'm clueless that time coz nvr read any info...)
I thought that sex is natural and anybody cld do it...
And the most puzzling is that... the pain is immediately gone after a while the penis is not inside... I really thought with that kind of pain, I cld barely walk or something...
The last time we attempted sex again, I guess my mind had recognized the pain, and he told me that he could not go in at all.. And his attempt from outside to go in hurts the most... After that, I keep on pushing my husband away.. Which is the most saddening part...
That's why I suspected there was something wrong with me... Till I found out abt this Vaginismus condition...
End of story.
Hehehe... I guess its time for personal stories huh... Its kind of embarassing though...
But, here goes...
I got married in June 2010. And as you know we first attempted penetrative sex during my first day honeymoon - which is the next night after my wedding night - I suddenly had panic attacks and anxiety (which suddenly occurs that night.. its weird because before marriage I did not even feel scared but that night I suddenly think that my hole was small, hw could it fit and the first time wld be pain... haizz...)
So, to cut short, it was unsuccessful.. my husband were upset.. but he thought that we could try it the next few nights...
Fast forward... after a few half attempts - which always hurts but I kind of bear it and try to relax & crying - one night he did went in full (according to him, but i felt like he did not, like only quarter or half.. after I read the book, I think I know why I only can feel the pain in the first quarter of the insertion coz there's where the PC muscle is right.. i was clenched i guess.. that's why after getting past the muscle, it shld not hurt..) but to be honest, it was very painful for me.. and it was not successful too.
After the attempt, I did check the bedsheet, but no blood... I was puzzled coz something that hurts so much.. but there was no blood? I thought my hymen is tearing (i'm clueless that time coz nvr read any info...)
I thought that sex is natural and anybody cld do it...
And the most puzzling is that... the pain is immediately gone after a while the penis is not inside... I really thought with that kind of pain, I cld barely walk or something...
The last time we attempted sex again, I guess my mind had recognized the pain, and he told me that he could not go in at all.. And his attempt from outside to go in hurts the most... After that, I keep on pushing my husband away.. Which is the most saddening part...
That's why I suspected there was something wrong with me... Till I found out abt this Vaginismus condition...
End of story.
natashawan
Member
Ital,
How abt you?
Btw, I have trouble to PM you now.
Later I wld try again.
How abt you?
Btw, I have trouble to PM you now.
Later I wld try again.
natashawan
Member
i received your PM, ital..
but i'm not sure how this forum works..
coz ur email is diff from the other day.
i hope that its not some random ppl email that i replied to!
but i'm not sure how this forum works..
coz ur email is diff from the other day.
i hope that its not some random ppl email that i replied to!
natashawan
Member
hey guys...
so quiet nowadays in this forum...
any success/gd news from you guys?
Pls dun give up...
These few days i'm feeling depressed again coz of my husband... i feel like he doesn't love me anymore...
but now, i'm more determined to fix it.
so quiet nowadays in this forum...
any success/gd news from you guys?
Pls dun give up...
These few days i'm feeling depressed again coz of my husband... i feel like he doesn't love me anymore...
but now, i'm more determined to fix it.
Dear natashawan,
Since u are soo open to your problem, then let me share mine...
actualli what i am goin through, i was thinking could be partly coz i was molest by my own family doctor when i was 14.. Yes.. sounded terrible rite?? but at that time, emotional i was nt very stable and my health was quite bad.. so only lodge a report for record. I was not able to let go.. was angry and regret.. why i didnt pursue at that time? but well.. nw im learning to let go and live my life and hope to have sex one day.. =)
had dated for nearly 10yrs before i gt married. was tinking of saving the best for my hubby.. therefore didnt even try to have sex when dating.. juz a few months before marriage, we tried.. and my legs juz shut off tightly and started crying and shivering.. haiz.. had been married for about 2yrs.. but wel.. am not goin to give up.. i believe i can do it one day!! therefore, gals, lets jiayou!! =)
Hmm.. long time didnt go and see martha already.. maybe go and find her one of these days..
Love, babypaige...
Since u are soo open to your problem, then let me share mine...
actualli what i am goin through, i was thinking could be partly coz i was molest by my own family doctor when i was 14.. Yes.. sounded terrible rite?? but at that time, emotional i was nt very stable and my health was quite bad.. so only lodge a report for record. I was not able to let go.. was angry and regret.. why i didnt pursue at that time? but well.. nw im learning to let go and live my life and hope to have sex one day.. =)
had dated for nearly 10yrs before i gt married. was tinking of saving the best for my hubby.. therefore didnt even try to have sex when dating.. juz a few months before marriage, we tried.. and my legs juz shut off tightly and started crying and shivering.. haiz.. had been married for about 2yrs.. but wel.. am not goin to give up.. i believe i can do it one day!! therefore, gals, lets jiayou!! =)
Hmm.. long time didnt go and see martha already.. maybe go and find her one of these days..
Love, babypaige...
Hi Babypaige,
oh that sounds serious! but well it's all over and you should not be bothered by this and look ahead .
By the way,just some updates.
I have give up using the dilators exercises.It just cannot to be continued.
Natashawan,did you received my replied to you?
Hope you will be fine and sort out things with your hubby.
Guys sometimes are just impatience and selfish creatures!
oh that sounds serious! but well it's all over and you should not be bothered by this and look ahead .
By the way,just some updates.
I have give up using the dilators exercises.It just cannot to be continued.
Natashawan,did you received my replied to you?
Hope you will be fine and sort out things with your hubby.
Guys sometimes are just impatience and selfish creatures!
natashawan
Member
Hi babypaige...
Thanks for sharing... didn't realised that the situation is from your past...
For me, I didn't recall anything.. maybe just bad history with my ex-boyfriends....
I really want to know how did you manage to insert the vibrator?
My real problem now is that I know I can do it but I do not know how to find the opening to push? I did feel some flesh, but I can't feel the hole...
Hi ital23.. I find it wasted for you to give up on the dilators.. Why? You are already at 2.. dats a success already.. I can't even get a q-tip or finger in...
N yes, I received your email.. thanks for your encouragement... I find that my hubby is stressed coz of not working and when he is horny, he wants sex and when he can't get it, he wld be mad.. but if he's normal, he is still okay... Nowadays, I did not even want to try to let him insert coz I'm scared that the pain wld be there... Am I wrong?? Sometimes I feel like I wanted to try and maybe if i do it properly, we can succeed... but when the penis is near, I wld still feel scared coz I remembered the pain from the earlier incident...
I find it hard to get motivated now coz I am always tired and I am supporting for two people and there are other problems too...
But one thing is that I really really want a baby by next year...
Thanks for sharing... didn't realised that the situation is from your past...
For me, I didn't recall anything.. maybe just bad history with my ex-boyfriends....
I really want to know how did you manage to insert the vibrator?
My real problem now is that I know I can do it but I do not know how to find the opening to push? I did feel some flesh, but I can't feel the hole...
Hi ital23.. I find it wasted for you to give up on the dilators.. Why? You are already at 2.. dats a success already.. I can't even get a q-tip or finger in...
N yes, I received your email.. thanks for your encouragement... I find that my hubby is stressed coz of not working and when he is horny, he wants sex and when he can't get it, he wld be mad.. but if he's normal, he is still okay... Nowadays, I did not even want to try to let him insert coz I'm scared that the pain wld be there... Am I wrong?? Sometimes I feel like I wanted to try and maybe if i do it properly, we can succeed... but when the penis is near, I wld still feel scared coz I remembered the pain from the earlier incident...
I find it hard to get motivated now coz I am always tired and I am supporting for two people and there are other problems too...
But one thing is that I really really want a baby by next year...
Hi ital23
thanks for your support. =)
Hi natashawan,
How i manage to do it?? well... several sessions with Martha.. she indeed helped me alot.. she had also given me alot of courage as well.. breathing is also very important.. I also have same plans as u.. want to have a bb next yr..
For me, we seldom even try to have sex.. instead we use the time we spend 2gether to do on other tings. like cooking, bring our dog for walk, have dinner wif friends, watch movie etc.. well.. sometimes when dun feel like and he have the mood, try either blowjob or penis massage.. i learned both tatics from Martha's class.. kekeke.. oops.. help u dun feel that im trying to promote her.. but im realli glad my gynae found her.. coz martha nw is juz like my friend now.. =)
Hey gals,
i feel like maybe find one day, we meet up?? coz sometings are beter if we chat face to face??
love, babypaige
thanks for your support. =)
Hi natashawan,
How i manage to do it?? well... several sessions with Martha.. she indeed helped me alot.. she had also given me alot of courage as well.. breathing is also very important.. I also have same plans as u.. want to have a bb next yr..
For me, we seldom even try to have sex.. instead we use the time we spend 2gether to do on other tings. like cooking, bring our dog for walk, have dinner wif friends, watch movie etc.. well.. sometimes when dun feel like and he have the mood, try either blowjob or penis massage.. i learned both tatics from Martha's class.. kekeke.. oops.. help u dun feel that im trying to promote her.. but im realli glad my gynae found her.. coz martha nw is juz like my friend now.. =)
Hey gals,
i feel like maybe find one day, we meet up?? coz sometings are beter if we chat face to face??
love, babypaige
natashawan
Member
Hey,
I would like to meet up too...
Babypaige, I would PM you...
I would like to meet up too...
Babypaige, I would PM you...
Hi gals,
It's been quite some time since I logged in here. Have been quite busy with work lately and feeling very tired all the time. I havent been a good girl and practise my dilators.
This is not good as there is no progress. I'm always struggling between the feelings of helplessness, guilt and anxiety. It is quite demoralising. I should try to start on my practice again and try to be very very discipline about it.
ital23,
If you give up using the dilators, any idea how would you continue on? What other methods are you trying?
It's been quite some time since I logged in here. Have been quite busy with work lately and feeling very tired all the time. I havent been a good girl and practise my dilators.
ital23,
If you give up using the dilators, any idea how would you continue on? What other methods are you trying?
natashawan
Member
Hi Ribbonz..
Glad to have you back here...
May I know you are at which dilator?
I know the feeling of busy being in this kind of country... Sometimes you come back late and all you wanted to do is sleep/rest...
But can I know why r you un-motivated?
Glad to have you back here...
May I know you are at which dilator?
I know the feeling of busy being in this kind of country... Sometimes you come back late and all you wanted to do is sleep/rest...
But can I know why r you un-motivated?
Hi natashawan,
I'm still struggling with the first! It doesnt get past the first 1 or 2 cm. The only thing that can go in is the Q-tip but I really need to move on from there. I think sometimes my emotions cripple my sense of motivation. Like I feel too helpless to even try. I feel so hopeless that I think the effort will not yield any results. All these negative thinking gets to me most of the times. Whenever I see cute babies, I really desire to have one. But then a sense of helplessness and hopelessness set in again. Of course, I feel very guilty about not trying and putting in effort, and I feel even more anxious that I'm wasting so much time dwelling on my negative emotions. You see, it is like a cycle.
I need to stop all these negativity and pull myself up again. Of coz it doesnt help that I do feel drained and tired from work. Sometimes I wonder if I take a stretch of no-pay leave would it help me to be more focused and have more energy to deal with this problem.
I'm still struggling with the first! It doesnt get past the first 1 or 2 cm. The only thing that can go in is the Q-tip but I really need to move on from there. I think sometimes my emotions cripple my sense of motivation. Like I feel too helpless to even try. I feel so hopeless that I think the effort will not yield any results. All these negative thinking gets to me most of the times. Whenever I see cute babies, I really desire to have one. But then a sense of helplessness and hopelessness set in again. Of course, I feel very guilty about not trying and putting in effort, and I feel even more anxious that I'm wasting so much time dwelling on my negative emotions. You see, it is like a cycle.
natashawan
Member
Hi babypaige...
I am struggling with the q-tip.. lol!
worst than you right...
Actually I do have the same sentiment as you...
whenever i see pregnant mothers or mothers with young kids.. I wld feel sad... It doesn't help that my husband is a divorcee with a child.. so I yearn to give him my own kids...
I also feel that timing is not gd and also do think of resigning.. but i can't.. coz my husband is not working right now...
Another problem is that I do not have my own house.. so its a bit uncomfortable in the room...
and your husband is there too...
We really should all meet up.. we cld talk better...
I am struggling with the q-tip.. lol!
worst than you right...
Actually I do have the same sentiment as you...
whenever i see pregnant mothers or mothers with young kids.. I wld feel sad... It doesn't help that my husband is a divorcee with a child.. so I yearn to give him my own kids...
I also feel that timing is not gd and also do think of resigning.. but i can't.. coz my husband is not working right now...
Another problem is that I do not have my own house.. so its a bit uncomfortable in the room...
and your husband is there too...
We really should all meet up.. we cld talk better...
Hi ribbonz,
i was feeling the same way as you last time.. somemore that time i was not working and went to a mild depression and went for counselling.. as well as seeing Martha.. Things got better.. currently, i feel should start to build a stronger relationship and communication is very very important.. mayb share wif u more when we meet up..
Hi natashawan,
i actualli cried with guilt that time when i found out that my hubby's colleague's wife was pregnant and i cant even have sex and have a kid of my own.. i felt damn lousy and bad..
ladies,
i will be away for awhile.. as my grandma juz passed away.. soo i will be out of this forum for about a week.. but well.. keep on with the communication.. maybe we meet up in sep.. before the public holiday maybe? btw,
So currently we have the list below..
1. Natashawan
2. Ribbonz
3. Ital?
If you dun mind, can share wif me where u stay? pm or in forum oso can if u dun mind.. then mayb i try to organise something. =)
Love, babypaige.. =)
i was feeling the same way as you last time.. somemore that time i was not working and went to a mild depression and went for counselling.. as well as seeing Martha.. Things got better.. currently, i feel should start to build a stronger relationship and communication is very very important.. mayb share wif u more when we meet up..
Hi natashawan,
i actualli cried with guilt that time when i found out that my hubby's colleague's wife was pregnant and i cant even have sex and have a kid of my own.. i felt damn lousy and bad..
ladies,
i will be away for awhile.. as my grandma juz passed away.. soo i will be out of this forum for about a week.. but well.. keep on with the communication.. maybe we meet up in sep.. before the public holiday maybe? btw,
So currently we have the list below..
1. Natashawan
2. Ribbonz
3. Ital?
If you dun mind, can share wif me where u stay? pm or in forum oso can if u dun mind.. then mayb i try to organise something. =)
Love, babypaige.. =)
natashawan
Member
Dear ladies,
I live in woodlands.. Location doesn't matter but I'm malay so I do have to c'brate Hari Raya.. Lol! Though I dun look fwd to it this year since I can't face my relatives... Thks.
To babypaige,
Sorry to hear abt your grandma.. Hope u'll take care and anything just email me.
I live in woodlands.. Location doesn't matter but I'm malay so I do have to c'brate Hari Raya.. Lol! Though I dun look fwd to it this year since I can't face my relatives... Thks.
To babypaige,
Sorry to hear abt your grandma.. Hope u'll take care and anything just email me.
Hi everybody,
I took no pay leave to get away from work, stress etc. No use.... I gave up too. I always hv the feeling that if the q tip droped or break inside, think I will die. Can't do it. Recently, I went guardian n saw this mini size tampon from brand op n tot they looked cute n more secure than q tip. Bought a pack, 6 in each pack. See if one day I am in the mood, I will buck up enough courage to try....it's for beginners n very short. At least it looks cute. Not many guardians sell it. I bought the pack at raffles city. Maybe if u are brave, can go n try first then give feedback on it.
Baby Paige, take care n rest well.
I took no pay leave to get away from work, stress etc. No use.... I gave up too. I always hv the feeling that if the q tip droped or break inside, think I will die. Can't do it. Recently, I went guardian n saw this mini size tampon from brand op n tot they looked cute n more secure than q tip. Bought a pack, 6 in each pack. See if one day I am in the mood, I will buck up enough courage to try....it's for beginners n very short. At least it looks cute. Not many guardians sell it. I bought the pack at raffles city. Maybe if u are brave, can go n try first then give feedback on it.
Baby Paige, take care n rest well.
natashawan
Member
ouh snowpony.. it won't make you die coz it won't break...
don't give up everybody... we can do it..
the mini size tampon seems like a gd idea... i cld check it out...
don't give up everybody... we can do it..
the mini size tampon seems like a gd idea... i cld check it out...
Hi Everybody,
welcome back
Hi Ribbonz,
In fact i have already stopped all exercises for quite a while.I just feel sick and low morale to continued.But i suggest maybe you can tried my method.To skip the first size and go to 2nd size.
For me ,i have probia using smaller objects ,that is why i go straight to 2nd one instead.Maybe it is easier to go in.
Hi Babypaige,
My condolences ,take care
I also have the same thoughts as you when i saw or heard my friend or friend's wife pregnant.I will feel " jealous" and "lose out".But as times goes by,i m getting immuned and do not really want to go and think about getting pregnant.My priority now is to solve this problem first before thinking of having babies.Perhaps the last resort is to use the syring method as recommanded by my gynae if really want to have just only babies.But i still hope to conceive by natural way.
Hi Snowypony,
I also have the same probia as you ,thinking the q tip will break inside and scared.That is why i do not ever dare to think to try it at all.
Maybe you can use my method,go straight to 2nd size dilator ,cause the bigger the object it is,it will definately not break inside right?
But rem to use lubricant before insert.
In conclude,i still think the dilators is the best way to open up the hole.So i will tried to do it again maybe.
welcome back
Hi Ribbonz,
In fact i have already stopped all exercises for quite a while.I just feel sick and low morale to continued.But i suggest maybe you can tried my method.To skip the first size and go to 2nd size.
For me ,i have probia using smaller objects ,that is why i go straight to 2nd one instead.Maybe it is easier to go in.
Hi Babypaige,
My condolences ,take care
I also have the same thoughts as you when i saw or heard my friend or friend's wife pregnant.I will feel " jealous" and "lose out".But as times goes by,i m getting immuned and do not really want to go and think about getting pregnant.My priority now is to solve this problem first before thinking of having babies.Perhaps the last resort is to use the syring method as recommanded by my gynae if really want to have just only babies.But i still hope to conceive by natural way.
Hi Snowypony,
I also have the same probia as you ,thinking the q tip will break inside and scared.That is why i do not ever dare to think to try it at all.
Maybe you can use my method,go straight to 2nd size dilator ,cause the bigger the object it is,it will definately not break inside right?
But rem to use lubricant before insert.
In conclude,i still think the dilators is the best way to open up the hole.So i will tried to do it again maybe.
Hi everyone,
I just recovered from shock. I went for my pap smear 2 days ago. Bucked up enough courage to prepare myself for 10 seconds. Then my gynae wasn't around so I went to her friend who knew of my condition. I remembered e last time when I had my first pap smear, it was just a very small scraper that looks like a cotton bud. That time was unsuccessful cos I freak out n ran out of e clinic. This time round, second time, I got myself prepared. Guess what? Now Pap smear changed to using a big speculum that looks like big dilators. I stopped e gynae immediately! But I improved. I didn't run away. Ha....unsuccessful again. I was in a state of shock so I forgot to ask my gynae's friend, since when changed to so big? Really scary! Anyway, e gynae told me my hymen is broken n my hubby was so happy.
I just recovered from shock. I went for my pap smear 2 days ago. Bucked up enough courage to prepare myself for 10 seconds. Then my gynae wasn't around so I went to her friend who knew of my condition. I remembered e last time when I had my first pap smear, it was just a very small scraper that looks like a cotton bud. That time was unsuccessful cos I freak out n ran out of e clinic. This time round, second time, I got myself prepared. Guess what? Now Pap smear changed to using a big speculum that looks like big dilators. I stopped e gynae immediately! But I improved. I didn't run away. Ha....unsuccessful again. I was in a state of shock so I forgot to ask my gynae's friend, since when changed to so big? Really scary! Anyway, e gynae told me my hymen is broken n my hubby was so happy.
I dare not insert q tip or dilators. Even when I bought e pack of mini sized n cute tampons, I dare not use them though I looked at them everyday. But I did continue to try to hv sex w my hubby. He has been patient n cannot move. Only I can move. Thought I just share w everyone my experience. My hubby's weight is too much for me so he cannot be on the top position. I tried having myself on the top position but I tire outeasily. The best position for me, both of us lie side by side.
I will take my own time to move near him. I can allow his
penis to go abt 2-3cm easily. Then I will move in more each
time. I didn't know where my vagina opening is n where the hymen is since I dare not look down there. I just slide in.
Now that the gynae told me my hymen is broken, my hubby
felt that we are on our way to success. So far no penetration or slight penetration i guess. My hubby never fully entered me. I guess we are just at the opening part. My point here is, doing e actual act is not so scary as the dilators etc. That's my experience. The Nurse at e clinic told me that she has not seen anyone who is so frightened of pap smear like me. She kept telling me it's not painful etc. She even gave me a cup of water. I was in a state of shock n my hubby said I looked really pale. I didn't even respond while my hubby was happy with e news. Now that I hv calmed down, I think it's good news too so I tot I would just share w ladies here.
I will take my own time to move near him. I can allow his
penis to go abt 2-3cm easily. Then I will move in more each
time. I didn't know where my vagina opening is n where the hymen is since I dare not look down there. I just slide in.
Now that the gynae told me my hymen is broken, my hubby
felt that we are on our way to success. So far no penetration or slight penetration i guess. My hubby never fully entered me. I guess we are just at the opening part. My point here is, doing e actual act is not so scary as the dilators etc. That's my experience. The Nurse at e clinic told me that she has not seen anyone who is so frightened of pap smear like me. She kept telling me it's not painful etc. She even gave me a cup of water. I was in a state of shock n my hubby said I looked really pale. I didn't even respond while my hubby was happy with e news. Now that I hv calmed down, I think it's good news too so I tot I would just share w ladies here.
Hi snowpony,
I'm oso so happy for you.. =)
as for me, not much improvement.. kekeke..
i will be changing job.. so hope this new job helps me build up my confident..
it had been a long time since i met up wif my counsellor and martha.. maybe next two weeks i will do so.. feel like talking to someone nw.. dunoe why recently im quite moody.. haiz..
to the rest of the ladies, jia you ya?? =)
I'm oso so happy for you.. =)
as for me, not much improvement.. kekeke..
i will be changing job.. so hope this new job helps me build up my confident..
it had been a long time since i met up wif my counsellor and martha.. maybe next two weeks i will do so.. feel like talking to someone nw.. dunoe why recently im quite moody.. haiz..
to the rest of the ladies, jia you ya?? =)
natashawan
Member
Hi snowpony...
I find that u r interesting. U have got the courage to insert ur husband! At least u know how to insert him.. but.. u cannot insert him full? i thought the pc muscle is at the entrance n when he is fully inside, u dun feel any pain?
u also did say that ur husband can't move only you.. i dun quite understand... but watever it is, ur way at least got chance to get pregnant, unlike most of us who did not have any penetration at all.
Babypaige & ital, did you get my email? Pls reply..
I find that u r interesting. U have got the courage to insert ur husband! At least u know how to insert him.. but.. u cannot insert him full? i thought the pc muscle is at the entrance n when he is fully inside, u dun feel any pain?
u also did say that ur husband can't move only you.. i dun quite understand... but watever it is, ur way at least got chance to get pregnant, unlike most of us who did not have any penetration at all.
Babypaige & ital, did you get my email? Pls reply..
Thanks baby Paige.
Natashawan,
My hubby cannot enter fully. Just a bit. Usually he will just lie there n I will try to move in. When I am wet, it's easy. No pain at all, but muscles very tight. So I will do it super slow. Move n stop, move n stop. If very very tight, I will end it n try again another day. After the act, I will feel a bit "aching" down
there. I didn't hv any bleeding so far. Not sure if u have read my earlier posts, I actually have a miracle baby, a
Baby without sex. My gynae told me "very rare".
Natashawan,
My hubby cannot enter fully. Just a bit. Usually he will just lie there n I will try to move in. When I am wet, it's easy. No pain at all, but muscles very tight. So I will do it super slow. Move n stop, move n stop. If very very tight, I will end it n try again another day. After the act, I will feel a bit "aching" down
there. I didn't hv any bleeding so far. Not sure if u have read my earlier posts, I actually have a miracle baby, a
Baby without sex. My gynae told me "very rare".
My girl is now 6 years old. My hus n I took so long to reach "this stage". We didn't hv sex for 6 yrs. Who will believe? Actually I am very stressed n sad. Everybody has been asking when I am going to hv no.2, age gap bet the kids getting bigger, my hus n I both getting older etc. But I am really scared to try anything. I also dunno why but I find that it's less pressuring if I try with my husband. I can lean on him n move slowly, whereas if I hold some other things like q tip, my imaginations run wild n I just can't do anything.
natashawan
Member
Hey girls...
I'm sorry for the long absence...
my laptop is spoilt... btw, how r you girls?
any progress so far??
I'm sorry for the long absence...
my laptop is spoilt... btw, how r you girls?
any progress so far??
siowzhabor
New Member
Hello! Just wanna share this from http://www.vaginismus-awareness-network.org/dilators16.html
"A good dilating session once a forthnight that you felt comfortable about, can be worth much more than a steady set of daily sessions which you feel negative about."
Be happy! =)
"A good dilating session once a forthnight that you felt comfortable about, can be worth much more than a steady set of daily sessions which you feel negative about."
Be happy! =)
just come back from holidays.Hi ladies,
I used to be a sufferer of vaginismus but i have finally overcome it. allow me to share my story with you.
i wasn't able to have sexual intercourse after wedding and i was kinda of avoiding it coz it was juz too painful. but after 2 years of marriage, we start to yearn for children and there is no way to delay this lovemaking thingy further. during my regular checkup with gynae, gynae taught me a method. for 1st week, everyday my hubby need to insert one finger into me. after that, when i no longer feel painful, to increase to 2 fingers. and slowly 3 fingers. we used tons and tons of lubricants before we attempt to make love. i used pre-seed lubricant which comes in pre filled applicators. before making love, my hubby will help me insert the lubricant in so that there is sufficient moisture. after we finally succeed, we try to do it at least 1-2 times a week so the 'hole' will not shrink back again.
the key point is we must try to relax. i know it is easier said than done but really gotta try. coz the moment we tense up, the muscles will tighten which will increase our pain when our hubbies try to penetrate.
hope my sharing can spur you on! jia you girls! you will be able to break free from Vaginismus!
I used to be a sufferer of vaginismus but i have finally overcome it. allow me to share my story with you.
i wasn't able to have sexual intercourse after wedding and i was kinda of avoiding it coz it was juz too painful. but after 2 years of marriage, we start to yearn for children and there is no way to delay this lovemaking thingy further. during my regular checkup with gynae, gynae taught me a method. for 1st week, everyday my hubby need to insert one finger into me. after that, when i no longer feel painful, to increase to 2 fingers. and slowly 3 fingers. we used tons and tons of lubricants before we attempt to make love. i used pre-seed lubricant which comes in pre filled applicators. before making love, my hubby will help me insert the lubricant in so that there is sufficient moisture. after we finally succeed, we try to do it at least 1-2 times a week so the 'hole' will not shrink back again.
the key point is we must try to relax. i know it is easier said than done but really gotta try. coz the moment we tense up, the muscles will tighten which will increase our pain when our hubbies try to penetrate.
hope my sharing can spur you on! jia you girls! you will be able to break free from Vaginismus!
Hi Mareike,
I'm soo happy for u!! You manage to overcome..
I gt married for over 2yrs.. and both my hubby and I realli wana have a kid of our own..
All the best..
Dear ladies,
Martha will be conducting a vaginismus support group. Those who are interested can contact her.. I will definately be going.. although i haven overcome my prob yet.. but im thinking abit positive nw..actualli we didnt realli try very often.. coz im afraid of the disappointment.. soo only once a month which i think its abit little rite?? but well.. hope 2011 will be a beter year for all or us ya?
Jia you ladies! see ya at the support group.
Cheers!
Babypaige
I'm soo happy for u!! You manage to overcome..
I gt married for over 2yrs.. and both my hubby and I realli wana have a kid of our own..
All the best..
Dear ladies,
Martha will be conducting a vaginismus support group. Those who are interested can contact her.. I will definately be going.. although i haven overcome my prob yet.. but im thinking abit positive nw..actualli we didnt realli try very often.. coz im afraid of the disappointment.. soo only once a month which i think its abit little rite?? but well.. hope 2011 will be a beter year for all or us ya?
Jia you ladies! see ya at the support group.
Cheers!
Babypaige
natashawan
Member
Hi Mareike,
Congrats to you...
I've been wanting to ask you questions but I can't seem to log in to mmotherhood.com for quite some time.
I wanted to ask you how do you overcome your fear in inserting even a finger in??
To Babypaige,
Yes i received Martha email too..
Hw abt the rest of the girls??
Hope I can meet you there!! I felt a bit shy though...
Congrats to you...
I've been wanting to ask you questions but I can't seem to log in to mmotherhood.com for quite some time.
I wanted to ask you how do you overcome your fear in inserting even a finger in??
To Babypaige,
Yes i received Martha email too..
Hw abt the rest of the girls??
Hope I can meet you there!! I felt a bit shy though...
hi ladies!
Happy New Year to you! May 2011 be the wonderful year whereby you can break free from vaginismus.
natashawan, initially, the moment hubby try to insert his finger in, my muscles will clamp up automatically. but he will not remove his finger and keep telling me to relax. as i slowly dont tense up my muscles so much, he will slowly insert bit by bit. when i tense up, he will stop but will not remove his finger though. the initial phase, really need alot of patience. you must be determined as well. also, when doing this exercise, you must be super wet first so engage in tons of foreplay. coz when you are feeling wet and high, your vagina hole is usually larger.
initially, when we embark on this exercise, i gave up after 1 week due to laziness, pain and also too tired and stressed from work. but it came to a point whereby we really will love to have our own kids and that was where my determination sets in. i endured the pain, use tons n tons of lubricants, try and try and try before we succeed. hope this helps!
Happy New Year to you! May 2011 be the wonderful year whereby you can break free from vaginismus.
natashawan, initially, the moment hubby try to insert his finger in, my muscles will clamp up automatically. but he will not remove his finger and keep telling me to relax. as i slowly dont tense up my muscles so much, he will slowly insert bit by bit. when i tense up, he will stop but will not remove his finger though. the initial phase, really need alot of patience. you must be determined as well. also, when doing this exercise, you must be super wet first so engage in tons of foreplay. coz when you are feeling wet and high, your vagina hole is usually larger.
initially, when we embark on this exercise, i gave up after 1 week due to laziness, pain and also too tired and stressed from work. but it came to a point whereby we really will love to have our own kids and that was where my determination sets in. i endured the pain, use tons n tons of lubricants, try and try and try before we succeed. hope this helps!
natashawan
Member
Hi Mareike,
Thanks for the info!
So, do you have a baby now??
Hehe...
Hi Skywolf, its by personal invitation only...
If you had attend at least one session with her...
But, you cld try to surf Martha website for more info.
Thanks for the info!
So, do you have a baby now??
Hehe...
Hi Skywolf, its by personal invitation only...
If you had attend at least one session with her...
But, you cld try to surf Martha website for more info.
Hi ital23,
Go for the session!!
I will be going.. =)
Hope to see you there.. =)
Hi Mareike,
I'm so happy for you. As for me, we only tried it once to insert the finger. Sometimes I feel that we also need alot of support and patience from our partner as well.
Cheers!
Babypaige
Go for the session!!
I will be going.. =)
Hope to see you there.. =)
Hi Mareike,
I'm so happy for you. As for me, we only tried it once to insert the finger. Sometimes I feel that we also need alot of support and patience from our partner as well.
Cheers!
Babypaige
hi natashawan,
sadly, i miscarriaged in 2009. now still trying. sighzz... hopefully can conceive again soon!
babypaige, thanks. yup, our hubby must be very patient in order to overcome this. it was my hubby who kept 'forcing' me to religiously do the exercises that we managed to overcome this.
hope all of you can overcome this within this year! perserve and good luck!
sadly, i miscarriaged in 2009. now still trying. sighzz... hopefully can conceive again soon!
babypaige, thanks. yup, our hubby must be very patient in order to overcome this. it was my hubby who kept 'forcing' me to religiously do the exercises that we managed to overcome this.
hope all of you can overcome this within this year! perserve and good luck!
natashawan
Member
hey guys!
I totally forget that the meet is today...
Some more today I had to OT... So sad...
how is it like??
I totally forget that the meet is today...
Some more today I had to OT... So sad...
how is it like??
