kokokrunch
Member
Help!
My father has been a gambler for decades, and my mother has decided to separate (though not divorced) from him many years ago. In her late 60s, she remains active and try to increase her social circle. However, she has only a handful of close friends who also has busy schedule. As her daughter, I understand her struggles and am supportive of her decision. However, she is a lonely woman who craves for attention from family.
She comes to visit me and my kids twice every week. She comes in the morning and stay still 9pm then she goes home.
For my husband who works from home, he sees my mother quite a lot. And he observes the way my mother speaks to our kids in 'broken' English. He started reminding me to talk to my mother about speaking to our kids in Chinese since she is good at it instead of struggling with broken English. I talk to my mother about it as well, but she keeps forgetting. I guess partly because my kids refuse to respond to anyone when it's Chinese.
More than 6 months passed, and his went on and on between my mother and my husband until one day, my husband and I had a very heated argument about her. He said that he can't stand my mother and prefer if she doesn't come to our house anymore. And we continued to argue almost every few weeks after that, and my mother seems to sense it too. I feel very guilty each time she pretends to b busy or come up with excuse to leave, but I can see that she is v sad when she does that.
At her age, she doesn't have many close friends, and I'm very close to my mother. I get v angry with my husband but also understands his intention with ensuring that our kids don't pick up broken English from my mom. But I also don't have the heart to tell my mom to stop visiting her grandkids. After all, she loves them a lot and always help me look after them when hubby and I not around.
Any advise please.
My father has been a gambler for decades, and my mother has decided to separate (though not divorced) from him many years ago. In her late 60s, she remains active and try to increase her social circle. However, she has only a handful of close friends who also has busy schedule. As her daughter, I understand her struggles and am supportive of her decision. However, she is a lonely woman who craves for attention from family.
She comes to visit me and my kids twice every week. She comes in the morning and stay still 9pm then she goes home.
For my husband who works from home, he sees my mother quite a lot. And he observes the way my mother speaks to our kids in 'broken' English. He started reminding me to talk to my mother about speaking to our kids in Chinese since she is good at it instead of struggling with broken English. I talk to my mother about it as well, but she keeps forgetting. I guess partly because my kids refuse to respond to anyone when it's Chinese.
More than 6 months passed, and his went on and on between my mother and my husband until one day, my husband and I had a very heated argument about her. He said that he can't stand my mother and prefer if she doesn't come to our house anymore. And we continued to argue almost every few weeks after that, and my mother seems to sense it too. I feel very guilty each time she pretends to b busy or come up with excuse to leave, but I can see that she is v sad when she does that.
At her age, she doesn't have many close friends, and I'm very close to my mother. I get v angry with my husband but also understands his intention with ensuring that our kids don't pick up broken English from my mom. But I also don't have the heart to tell my mom to stop visiting her grandkids. After all, she loves them a lot and always help me look after them when hubby and I not around.
Any advise please.
