Controlling Mil & Mama boy husband

[loneranger92]

Help!!
I was raised in myanmar and grew up in sg here for 20 yrs...and married to chinese.
Is it normal for chinese to be sooo traditional and too filial?? My fil loves parties so often forced me to hang out with them. Even though everyone in gathering either using phone or stoning or napping.. they just stay there till sun goes down..I am extremely introvert and like to keep private. I grew up in an dysfunctional family so I'm not closed with my parents. And I really want to cut them of my life cos they too abusive emotionally and physically.
1) my husband and in laws forced me to meet and reconnect with my parents cos past is past and they are 'family'... I hated it
2) my mil keep spying through my maid, workers and camera what I doing everyday
3) mil ask maid to spy how many times I have sex with my husband cos she wants another grandchildren.
4) mil always go through what I throw in rubbish and scold me
5) mil, sil always control how I raise my son and what kind of things I buy and always judge and criticise
6)mil scold me for asking his son to soothe his own son at night...saying I tired him
7) that damn husband bought house right next to his parents house.
8) they called me gold digger..I don't even want to take my own parents properties and money...I'm the only child..
9)mil always try to feed strange food to my son behind my back..
10) husband said I disrespect his parents so he packed up his clothed and left...

He cheated on me for multiple times and his parents are okay with those...

I can't divorce yet cos I'm full time mom now and I can't raise my son in broken family...like I got..

Help...how to get rid of mil???

 

[lalala88]

Hi @loneranger92 , I understand your frustration towards your PIL. However, there're certain things that we have to tolerate and not tolerate. As we are living in a traditional chinese family, sometimes we have to follow. However, things such as your MIL get your maid to spy on you in no of sex you have with your husband, your parenting style, feed strange food etc are totally out of limit. Maybe you can try to communicate THESE issues in a nice and proper way with your husband, as MAN actually prefer their wife to communicate with them in a gentle way. Some of them will try to consider about the things that you have told to them. Lastly, cheating is also OUT of limit and totally intolerable. I feel you.

Before i end my long sentences, i would like to tell you that i understand where you are coming from. You need to know no matter how you dislike your in laws, you don't have right to get rid of them. Worse scenario that you can do is, just greet them; BUT, you maintain your distance; in order to maintain your mental health.