Husband not helping with kids

[inbetweenmum]

Need to rant. My husband leaves the kids homework all to me while he just sits there. Both kids need my attention at the same time and I often lose my temper. Then he will saunter up and ask “what is everyone doing?” When I lose control and tell my kids off, he steps in and raise his voice at the kids . I don’t need him to scold the kids together with me. I need him to just help with one kid so I can concentrate on the other. Raising his voice does nothing except make me even more pek cek.

Everything related to the kids, he just conveniently asks me. How much is the dosage for meds, when is the school event, what do they need to pack for it etc? Driving me nuts. He cannot find out himself meh? I’m a ftwm, working the same number of hours as him. Why I have to remember all these things and monitor homework after a days work while he sits there playing computer games??? Told him to step up and help and all I got was help for maybe 2 days. After that it’s square 1.

Im so frustrated and need a break from the kids and from him.

 

[ZenZen2]

most hubs are like that. ask him to pay for helper to reduce yr workload.
u need a me time to relax

 

[MoeLanYong]

Don't mind me say, why are you destroying your marriage over your kids education??

You may find their education important but your husband may not share your view.

Want them to do well in school, outsource to enrichment classes.

Want a quality marriage, hire a domestic worker to help out in the household chores.

In a marriage, one must choose wisely. Meaning prioritise one over another.

I also want everything perfect. But can or not?

When you continue to be upset with your husband, you quarrel every day, your marriage breaks down, you divorce, your kids are worse off.

Do your kids prefer to lose 1 parent or miss being top in class?

The answer should be obvious

 

[inbetweenmum]

Enrichment classes also require the parents to revise with kids at home. While it’s very true that some things can be outsourced to save the relationship (btw parents and kids as well as btw hb and wife), it’s ultimately limited by resources I.e $$.

Just wish the hb can bear a fraction of this load. The wife nagging at the hb to remember /do things does not relieve her of it, it just adds to it. Even at this time and age, I sometimes feel the main responsibility of the children still lies with the wife but yet the wife is expected to contribute financially to the household too. Otherwise even lesser $ to outsource duties out.

Don’t know where I’m headed with this. Just needed to vent.

Thanks for the responses.

 

[MoeLanYong]

Your children don't need to be first in class.

They need a set of loving parents.

You are the one adding strife, in your desire to catch up with the Joneses.

I hope you choose wisely.

 

[lalala88]

Need to rant. My husband leaves the kids homework all to me while he just sits there. Both kids need my attention at the same time and I often lose my temper. Then he will saunter up and ask “what is everyone doing?” When I lose control and tell my kids off, he steps in and raise his voice at the kids . I don’t need him to scold the kids together with me. I need him to just help with one kid so I can concentrate on the other. Raising his voice does nothing except make me even more pek cek.

Everything related to the kids, he just conveniently asks me. How much is the dosage for meds, when is the school event, what do they need to pack for it etc? Driving me nuts. He cannot find out himself meh? I’m a ftwm, working the same number of hours as him. Why I have to remember all these things and monitor homework after a days work while he sits there playing computer games??? Told him to step up and help and all I got was help for maybe 2 days. After that it’s square 1.

Im so frustrated and need a break from the kids and from him.

@inbetweenmum I understand your frustration as I'm also going thru like what you going thru. You aren't alone. Tbh, I believe most husbands are like that one. Expect his wife to remember everything, remind him and last which is the most difficult for wife to do is, to lessen the nagging and be patience towards him.

Societies have high expectation towards woman. We have to remember here and that. And when things go wrong and we (Woman) lose our temper, we get blamed all the times.

Tbh, I also wish I can find way to get out of this kind of situation as I'm also staying with in laws and they also expect me to nag less and be patience all the times while they never even fix their own forgetful son that won't cause me lose my shit all the times..

All I can say is, You aren't alone and I believe it's normal for wives to get angry when husband doesn't even being cooperative at all.