Support group - Miscarriages

don't know what to say. can actually bumped into a friend's friend during lunch and she got pregnant after me and to think workplace v far apart ....sigh...keep meeting pregnant friends these days....

when i saw her i cannot helped but look at the tummy as i am supposed to be 1 mth more advance than her so was trying to figure out how big i should be had everything went smoothly....
 


i just miscarriage too.... my bb stop heartbeat at week 7 plus i guess.... and inside me for 2 more weeks before i knew it...
really very sad... its my first pregnancy and everybody is so happy abt it... and now this thing happen... so angry and sad.....
 
hi kit, sorry to hear about your loss. I believe your case is one of the more common ones. Some of us here have quite complicated histories. But nonetheless, the grieving is the same.. to think that we were so lucky to conceive, only to lose it so soon. Do let your feelings out to those whom you can do so with.

When you are ready to try again, we are all here to journey with you!
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take care.
 
thanks xbliss for ur encouragement!

am slightly feeling better now...hope can ttc soon

going to see TCM to tiao my body...before i try again....
 
ya, the doc give me 14 days hospitalization leave to rest at home. am at my parents place doing mini confinement. But dunno is it over -pu... got diaora yesterday nite and today...
 
Hi, does this happen to anyone before..i have missed my menses for about 7 days and this morning tested negative. However my temperature remain high at 36.8. When i am pregnant the other time, temperature was around this high oso.

i do not have any other symptons other than having slight hiccups. When i miscarried last year and an ecptopic this Jan, i had hiccups too.

Maybe i am too eagar to get pregnant...hence all the anixety and questions in my head..haiz..
 
hi apple, xuanting, redtea, irene, eunice
Thanks for all your well wishes and concern. My AF reported yesterday.. am so glad it finally reported. Though it means a screwed up cycle but at least can try again.

My colleague just announced her pregnancy recently... just like eunice, i cun help looking at her stomach coz i'm supposed to be 1 more mth advanced than her and cun help tinking wat will be my stomach size now if it was me.

When i told my colleague who has a 1yr old boy abt my m/c then she shared with me hers. All this while i never knew she had a m/c before. She was 4 mths preggie and her bb heartbeat just suddenly stopped. Worse still, she had to go through induced labour.. my heart goes out to her even more.

I'm praying hard that this cycle my AF will go back to being regular and we can start ttc again. Let's all stay positive together
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hi eunice
my af also haywire. 1st cycle is 27days, 2nd:15 days and 3rd cycle:36days... before m/c my cycle is regular 28 days..

hi piggy mummy
your cycle days is 34 for 1st one and 32 for the second one...


hi xbliss
how are your twins? Must take very good care of yourself k. which stones are u using? I'm not a superstitious person also but am sure getting very desperate! heee
 
hi kit
My case is similiar to yours except that I see my gynae every week... so i was already prepared for dnc when doc told me heartbeat weakening...

rem to do a mini confinement and take good care of yourself k? No cold stuff and wear more warm clothes and try not to carry heavy things...
 
Hi Kit,

Take good care of yourself. Rest well and recover. I have also lost my 1st pregnancy at 9 weeks due to no heartbeat. During that time was the CNY and everyone knew and was happy for us yet a week later came the bad news....

The confinement period can be difficult to go thru. But took comfort in this thread as the gals here are great. There's always a listening ear. So do drop in to chat.
 
roxyz,
my second AF reported today! strange cos it barely 17 days from the 1st AF. Saw my gynea today, he said it is normal and told me to wait for cycle 3 before trying again. He also gave me the test report on the 2nd miscarriage. Foetus was normal and was a boy. But somehow no heartbeat. so...........sigh........think i feel worse after getting the report.

anyway i am trying to stay upbeat to ride thru these 3 cycles.
 
Apple... ur case machiam same as mine! My 2nd af also reported 15 days after the first one and gynae said it's normal, he said could be that the 1st AF wasnt heavy enough, so 2nd one quickly comes to "clear" our body...

Dun feel so sad k? I was going through a bad patch recently also, esp when posting the post earlier to complain to u gals, I was half crying when posting.. but I have told myself to be strong and more positive and try again. Just now my colleague who is 3 mths pregnant came to speak to me and asked me when is my turn.. i felt like dying when she asked that.. but surprisingly i could tell her, if it's meant to be mine, it'll be mine. She gave me a very weird look when i said this as she didnt understand :p

Stay upbeat during these 2 cycles k? You only have 1 more cycle to go.... start to build up your health and take care of yourself


hi eunice
I'm now waiting for my 3rd cycle to finish.. and build up my health... been suffering very bad "hong moh", will try to recover from it...
my sister asked me " no more zhu bb" and i told her it's ok, mousy also cute and better coz our kids wun have to fight for places in primary 1 coz there's so many piggy bb. So let's stay positive and cheer each other on!
 
Hi Roxyz

Yes I am also in my 3rd cycle. This month heavier flow. Also keeping fingers cross not to fall sick anymore though office environment as bad....

ya. hate it when pregnant colleagues / friends ask me when is my turn...but at least we have each other here to share that feelings...was down for the past few days too...tears will still flow down....as keep meeting pregnant friends

Hi Apple,
Dun b too sad k....life is just v funny. at times we want to know more. at times less is better....like myself, i hate the feeling i cannot put a face to the unborn child. not sure is a gal or boy. yet not sure by knowing all these, how well can i take it too....

after my D&C, i felt so empty so i requested from the gynae to give me back all the scan i had. at least i can hold onto something...making it into a journal, at least as a remembrance...
 
rozyz, wah, maybe i should start selling semi precious stones to earn some side income for the bbies.. hee.

I did check with the fengshui shops at the fu lu shou area.. many told me amethyst is an all purpose stone. I also chose the stones that were compatible with my english horoscope (one of the articles i provided link to), and turqoise which is more easily available.. on one particular website, it talked about the link to fertility. Actually they do sell those small bag of mixed stones too.. so if not sure what to buy, i think can get those small bags..

The twins should be doing ok lah.. last check up was 1 wk plus ago.. and next checkup is next wk. In between the 3 weeks wait til the next check up, i'm actually psychologically attacked by all kinds of thoughts - are the bbies hearts still beating.. will they be deformed, etc etc. Sigh,, really dun dare to say anything til i see gynae.
 
Hi Eunice and rozyz,

thanks for ur concern!
now doing a mini-confinement.. yesterday met my neighbour, she asked me when i'll have good news... my heart really pain (she din know i'm preggy initially)... this kind of heart pain i never experience before...

yesterday see a chinese sinseh... he said my kidney and heart is weak... need to tiao my body... and he suggested an EXPENSIVE solution... 2K for 3 months medicine... i nearly faint....anyway i'm going to another one tonite and see how....

my mum in law asking some feng shui shi fu to come and take a look at our house... see whether can change our luck.... sigh..... hopefully it really did help a bit.....

btw, just want to ask.... after D&C, usually when the AF will come back?
 
rozyz, thanks for consoling me
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what's "hong moh"? how to cure? itch, red spot on skin? U take care okie
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I understand how u feel abt yr preggie colleague. I cant face my preggie colleague too..my heart and facial expression seems hard to coordinate whenever i see her. I have to appear happy but heart aches..tough isnt it?! some ppl just get it all, some has to work double hard to get what they want...sigh. Must push myself to go exercise next week. Anyone started on exercise regime?

eunice, for me by knowing more, it makes me sadder cos i will feel more for the bb. bad timing to receive the report cos hubby not in town...but no choice, i have to console myself by gg out, shopping, dinner etc...gets my mind off. lucky i have a furkid at home...she keeps me real busy with pee/poo..
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kit, sorry abt yr loss. usually it varies, some a month, some 2-3 months (like me), some couple of weeks later. dont worry too much, just rest n bu yr body...dont stress.

2k medicine sounds expensive..should reconsider..
 
hey kit

i think you shouldnt be listening to the chinese sinseh too much. I went for tcm too but i nvr heard paying so much for it - 2k for 3mths. I think is good that you are seeking a second opinion.

Take care
 
hi all,

ya... so i will going to another sinseh today and see how to tiao my body... 2K is way too much..

thanks for the concern, feeling better day by day... need to see gynae next week for review..i drag myself to go there actually..

duno that AF will only come a month later.. wah... that's long... i can't wait to try again actually... may be to make myself feel better...
 
hi apple
hong moh is those big red swells on body that is super itchy.. been having it for a long time and worst when i got pregnant, initially stopped after the dnc but came back in full force again with menses....gynae told me some pregnant woman get it too due to some hormonal changes...

Yesterday i met another friend who is due in mid Nov. After seeing her.. my mood drastically changed and i felt so bad and down to see her stroking her tummy etc... cun help staring at her tummy and envying her..

I havent been exercising for 1.5yrs heee last week, climb downstairs and even got muscle strain for a few days...i couldnt believe it.. i used to jog/swim thrice a week... gone are those days...
apple, you are right, we better start on our exercise regime but just too lazy to start


Thanks xbliss
Will go and do some research and get some stones... hopefully we will all strike soon!
Dun worry so much abt the twins k? It's a double blessing and we are all very happy for you. If worried, maybe u can see ur gynae twice a month instead of once every 3 weeks?


hello eunice
i also cried yesterday after seeing my pregnant friend... heart super pain....
Take good care and recover well so can try again after this cycle. My AF for this cycle is pretty light.. hopefully i am back to "normal" and can start ttc again...
Yesterday my hubby saw me cry and said after this cycle finish, we can everyday BD so as to increase our chance of bb, i told him to wait long long... he will enjoy it but i will be so tired!! keke


hi kit
I agree with the rest.. it seems too pricey! But my frd is seeing eu yan sang and the 2 week medication also sets her back by abt $300-$400 per visit... so maybe the tcm practioner is average pricing?
 
my second AF comes in full force today..bad cramps. Never used to have any cramps before mcs...sigh...is it true cannot eat pineapple? i ate one small cube today...seems like cramp turn worse...

anyone gg for foot reflex? any side effects to ttc?

maybe we can all commit to exercise and encourage each other daily..
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treadmill ok?
i heard swimming no good cos too "cold" for body..true? what other exercise can we do? not to weaken womb..

roxyz u had yr third cycle liao?

i used to take tcm, $20 per packet, one week 3-4 packet..so one mth about $100-200..i think it depends on what herbs they give u..maybe some herbs more expensive. btw, some said tcm is not good cos some herbs could be toxic. I remember i took alot of herbs when i was expecting 2nd bb..everyday 2 bowls straight for 2-3 weeks. in the end foetus had abnormal chromosome. not sure if herbs affect it...anyway i have decided not to take TCM but just count on normal bu-stuff like dang gui, red dates etc..

anyone know if woman can take dong cong cao?
 
Hi Eunice and gals, last week, one of my colleagues from another dept, dunno how she knew about my previous preg and asked me in public " when are u giving birth?!" i was stunned!! I din know how to answer her, luckily she walked away before i reacted. another time she looked at me as if " how come yr stomach is not showing?" sigh... dunno how come she knew...? so sian. even when no preg women ard, but still got people remind me of my preg!

Hi roxyz, i also feeling so lazy to start excercising... haa, but i think i better get my butt at least onto the yoga mat soon!

kit, glad u r seeking a second opinion on the tcm. I know of one at Toa payoh, not sure if he;s that gd, but both father and son are tcm, if u wan the contact, i can pass to u... the son is a fren of my good fren. for me, tcm may be a supplementary but a balanced diet is also impt! take good care!

apple muffin, brisk walking is good, not that strenuos and dun need to dip in water for so long.. dunno if u bother, but the excercise for the vagina (not sure if its called pelvic excercise) is also good for the internal muscles I guess...

not sure about foot reflex, cos i scare too many is "not authentic", pain not nec mean good... unless u are very sure that the shi-fu has real skills..

i heard dong cong cao is fine, its considered "medium" not heaty nor cooling... i think u can try to double boil with lean meat in slow cooker..
 
hi gals,

went to one at bt batok and see the sinseh... the pricing quite ok. and she din mention anything expensive..just ask me to eat all the bu stuff as possible in this month eg. shi quan da bu tang etc...

will stick to her till i tiao my body back..... she said wait 2 months before ttc again... and ake me to relax, dun stress up...but nowadays work wheregot no stress (i'm a teacher)

do u gals think i shd change my previous gynae? my father said this doc not good, not experience enuff, hence my mc...
 
hi kit

its also whether u feel comfy with your current gynae, if u not comfy, then mayb u wana seek another whom u feel u can trust. mine is at Mt e, a male gynae, nice and experienced, he is also the visiting consultant at KKH, can pass u contact if u wan..
 
kit_mum2b, i think it's very hard to say that the doc not experienced enuff.. most of us here see rather reputable docs. My doc is also very reputable and experienced, but the more pple who see her, the more MC cases she will get lor..
 
hi kit_mum2b, i'm also seeing a tcm practitioner. go every week and medication comes up to between $40 and $60 so total a month is around $200. the one i used to see v long ago for general health used to charge about $40 to $60 these seems to be the average tcm charges for me so far but a friend used to spend around $500 a month for his eczema (really worked for him). i guess it kind of depends on what sort of medication you need to take. but again, if i were to hear $2k for 3 months, i will faint also.

my friends also advised me to change gynae cos they felt that my gynae didn't handle my m/c very well too (no jab, only pills). i don't feel anything wrong but have decided that maybe i will look for someone who is v experienced with high risk pregnancies and why can't they call it something less frightening, like 'delicate pregnancies'?
 
irene,

[[[[[[[[[[[HUGS]]]]]]]]]]]]]

me too, haven't exercised also (in years, actually). my uncle taught me a set of qigong exercises recently but haven't been exactly diligent in doing it although i have been wanting to learn it for the longest time. do you practise your yoga at home? hatha or ashtanga?
 
Hi Xuanting !!

I m not sure what kind of yoga is it, i previously attended classes at IYC, concentrate more on the breathing which I like, and it made me feel good. I better check their sche and start gg this month..

hugz!!
 
irene, i think that's hatha yoga. ashtanga is the more strenuous one and i find it quite taxing. i prefer hatha yoga too calmer and more relaxing. where's IYC?

my first af came today. a bit of brownish discharge last night and this morning, full flow with fresh blood and cramps. on one hand quite glad that it seems to be back on schedule (30 days since mc), but on the other, the cramp and the feeling of the blood flowing out reminds me of how helpless and frightened i felt when i first felt cramps then blood coming out of me during the mc.

sometimes i really wish time will quickly fly so that i can be ready to ttc again soon. i know that's not possible so i just keep reminding myself that this is a chance for me to prepare my body for it.
 
irene,
i am thinking of taking some yoga class ewhich focus on breathing and relax. i dislike streching, somemore stretching not suit for ttc..can recommend ur class?
 
think the waiting period (for 2-3 cycles of AF) is the torture part..and yet it is the most crucial period cos we need to build our health to be prepared for a good pregnancy. i am into my 2nd AF now..just finished yesterday and i look forward to the 3rd AF...yet i know i should be fit to try ttc again cos if i fail for the 4th time, my world is going to crush...its a dilemma..anyone feels the same?
 
Hi apple
My 3rd cycle just ended a few days ago. Lasted for 3 days only and pretty light.. I hope this is a good sign that I am back to normal coz my period is normally 2-4 days only.....

I tink dong cong cao should be ok for women to eat.. my MIL used to give me..
 
roxyz, gonna start your ttc engine soon?
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My mom told me to drink Gao Li Shen. She says it is very very bu...good for the womb. Anyone has drink that? I have dong cong cao and dang gui at home now...dunno which to drink 1st...
 
hi
I just went to Eu yan seng yesterday to buy bai foong yuan. The lady advised me to take a bottle per week.. she said this can help to build up womb, esp for women who suffered m/c before, need to take once a week......i'm going to start taking it... hope it works and can help everyone here
 
piggymom, i drank ginger/red date water yesterday n today. seems like my AF come back again...thot it was going to be finished over Sat. Got a bit of cramps too...anyone know the ginger/red dates drink could be the cause of it?

is it true that when having AF, cannot drink anything bu? or do foot reflex?
 
hi apple
She told me to eat after AF clear 3 days later... like wat piggy mummy said, not to consume when having AF and she also mentioned, not to take when pregnant and when having flu..

Best to consume in morning after food but pls take 3 hrs apart from the folic acid...

My AF ended lasted Sat... now still waiting for 1 or 2 more days before start taking the pills... anything to strengthen my womb
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I did hear my mum & MIL say not to take bu when AF but not sure why also... but never hear abt the foot reflex tingy...
 
Hi there, had one early early mc at 6 wks... now few months later preggie again, but its just 4 weeks few days, just tested positive.. but im really stressed, cos finding my symptoms (only b tenderness so far) disappearing!!

i know its really early, n these things happen, but cant help but panickking right now.. sigh.

sympathise with those with preg colleagues as well. one colleague conceived 2 weeks after me.. shes 8 wks now, i should have been 10 wks. =( when i first heard,, heart so super pain.

sigh.. =( just wanted to share my worries. thanks for listening..
 
Anne, u can pour out here... its safe... but dun get paniky yet, hv it checked first.. k?

hi xuanting and piggy mummy, u can check out on IYC here:
http://www.iyc.sg/about_us.htm

I like it there bcos its at a black/white bunglow, and the place where the class is held has good ventilation and lots of greens. (i prefer non aircon rooms for excercise), the class is usu small, sometimes only 2-3 people attending each class on wkdays.

Hi roxyz, piggy and apple, I once read somewhere that bai fong wan is not that good for preg,but I can;t remb where I read it... i think it has some kind of properties, better check clearly b4 consuming?
 
irene,

there r many type of yoga they offered. Which one r u attending now?

Apple,
heard from my chinese sinseh, during AF, cant eat bu because it will stop the dirty blood fr coming out. some more redates is for "bu xie"(Blood), so cant take during AF. But a weeek after AF, can eat bu, better if u drink yomeishu (a week after AF clear).But after that don think yomeishu, switch to DOM, coz yomeishu contains "hong hua" it help to clear the dirty inside our womb, so after few weeks of AF, it nt suit to drinnk..
 
i had spotting last tue, wed. full AF came on thurs - sat. Sun no more blood, so i thot i am done and drank red dates ginger to bu. then on monday AF came back full force. u ladies reckon it is due to red dates tea i drank or it is just coincidental? worry....plus i have this tingling pain on off....
 
hi all,
decided to drop by after seeing anne's posting. i have been following this thread since last sept when i had my miscarriage due to blighted ovum at week 7. at first quite reluctant to post but seeing anne's posting, i feel that may be i should also give some support to her and to all of you.

my 1st MC is due to blighted ovum. No heartbeat detected all the way till the day for D&C. I still remember my D&C vividly and how i cried when the nurses wheeled me to the operating theatre and how they wiped my tears and consoled me and distracted me when administering the drug to start the procedure..They were so sweet. 3 months later which is Jan 2007 i conceived again and now i'm 5 months pregnant with a baby girl.
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I had my detailed scan last week and everything's fine as far as the scan could tell. And i chose not to go through any DS tests because no matter what i'm determine to keep this baby. My miscarriage has made me treasure my current pregnancy and I believe God was preparing me for motherhood because in my 1st pregnancy, deep inside me I was half-heartedly happy with the news.

Just want to tell anne that I understand her fear. It's normal to feel this way and till now, I'm still jittery over my pregnancy eventhough i'm in my 2nd trimester. Everyday, i will not fail to check my undies but thank God somehow i felt that this pregnancy is somewhat different. No spotting and no urgency to urine during the night in my 1st trimester. Less tired too..Every checkup, the first thing i asked the gynae: Is the heartbeat still there? Is my baby growing? It's only now, i've plucked my courage to share with you. Seriously speaking, i'm still not 100% confident in my pregnancy but i will try to be! That's what we should do. I've learned to be a little relax in my pregnancy too and not too hard on myself. I allowed myself to sip coffee, tea, to drink cold drink occasionally, to eat sashima once in a while unlike my 1st pregnancy where i was too strict with my diet. So, Anne, jia you!

To the rest, just to share, I had spotting from the day of my D&C for 3 consecutive weeks almost every single day - fresh blood. My gynae told me that it's a good sign because that means the womb lining is shedding the old blood and healing. I was very worried abt womb scaring but my gynae said she did not scrape clean my womb to prevent injuries. I guess that's why i had spotting. Exactly 1 mth after my D&C, i had my 1st menses - heavy but not much blood clot like i used to. It lasted abt 7 days.

I did a mini confinement by myself. Gynae give me 1 week MC and i made myself tonic soup everyday (ba zhen, se chuan ta bao, black chicken soup with dang gui tou), cooked sesame oil with chicken and lots of ginger, cook rice wine chicken soup and drink a glass of DOM every evening. the only thing i didn't do it is i still bath with normal water. The food that i ate made me so heaty that i had black stool! and that made me stopped.. haha
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But i continue to drink DOM and double-boiled cordyceps with lean meat once every 1 or 2 weeks because my aunt told me it's good for womb. After D&C i didn't really let my body rest 3 months like what gynae said and we did not take any precaution because i was told that usually woman will be very fertile after an MC. But at the same time we never really tried to TTC so that not to give ourself pressure. Just let nature take its own course. But of course, i did continuosly take note of my cycle and diligently marked my calendar when i had my 1st mense, 2nd mense and 3rd mense. I still need to monitor my ovulation period and as far as possible, we ML during the period. I didn't even want to use the ovulation kit. Then who knows in Jan, i conceived!
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I'm still praying very hard everyday that I will be able to carry my baby till full term with no complication and that my baby will be born healthy. I've began to feel my baby kicking and can see movement in my tummy occasionally now.
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So, to all of you, don't give up, monitor your cycle, try to ML during your fertile period and if you feel like ML, just do it without thinking whether you'll hit the jackpot or not. Some day, you'll be suprised how your body works in a funny way
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Baby dust to all of you who is TTCing and may God bless you
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P.S: Sorry for such a long posting :p
 
and oh yes, try not stay in bed after ML so that more sperms will get to swim further inside first
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If you really need to, wait 1/2 hour or so. It does make a difference. Less sperm (ie white gluey discharge) will come out when you go toilet later.
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try to drink DOM/yomeishu after your mense clear to warm your womb. i'm not sure whether this help but somehow i could conceive by doing this lah
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Hi gals, received this email with the below content from a friend. pls read.

"Dear All,
This morning I heard a sad real story from my friend.
She told me one of her friend always miscarriage when the baby 2-3 months old for few times continuously in few years time. The couple went
to check with many doctors and lastly one of the doctor check on the death baby and found out the baby's body cells keeping die when baby growing up until he/she cannot be survived.

This is because her uterus has been affected by HANDPHONE radiation .
The doctor told she has no chance to get baby no matter how because the radiation affected her uterus which the major portion of her uterus
cells already death, cannot carry healthy baby. All this because of she has been keeping her handphone in her working jacket which the position just right to the uterus positon for few years time. Please beware and take note the consequences is not worth."
 


aira and the rest of the ladies,
I too have the same fear as you. I had 2 concurrent miscarriages on nov 05 (8 wks) and aug 06 (14 wks). Never had a successful pregnancy yet.

Now I'm pregnant again at 8 weeks.. had brown discharge at wk 6 and it scares the hell out of me.. fortunately it stop after a few days.I dunno if i can take another blow for the 3rd time. Ialways worried abt bb.. and pray everyday that bb would grow and healthy.

all of us must work hard. :D
 

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