Support group - Miscarriages

Princessleopard,

Actually based on current situation, is to remove cysts by laparoscopy.. Laparoscopy is also a diagnostic procedure which can be used to check our female reproductive organs.. Since he can see my uterus and fallopian tubes all at the same time, told him to check everything and fix if need be.. So yup, all done at the same time
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Think this is quite standard..
 


min81,

I see. It's a good thing too, get everything fix at the same time. At least can move on from there.
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So, need to rest how long before ttc?
 
Princessleopard,

My gynae says rest 1 mth, see him for review.. If all ok can ttc rightaway
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And since gotta wait 3 mths for ivf, i suggested why not do another natural iui first since no medication, won't tax the ovaries.. He agreed.. So hope all go smoothly
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You are trying natural now right?
 
Jhw ,

Actually the biggest problem of telling early is not really pantang-ness for me and hubby ... My boy I announce to the world the moment I know .. But the 2nd one also got tell , but not so many cos busy with house warming , and also don't wanna let that many of them know ... But the 2nd one , once mc , I need to explain to everyone who knew cos all will ask why ... Like need give all of then a report , in case they spread around that I am pregnant which I no longer am ..
Did went to one of hubby's office one day and his partner said ' heard u pregnant? ' ..I said: ' no more ' .. They will sure add : ' why? ' .. Then luckily hubby came and told his partner : ' 送他走了' ...
 
Tomoni, I did not tell alot of ppl just some good friends when I was 4 months preg. I was rather low profile. Who knows mc still happens and when they MSG me abt my pregnancy I have to reply one by one and explain what happens. It suxs. Next one I will not tell and avoid meeting anyone. Just that colleagues are inevitable as they will see the baby bump.
 
Ya , it's not the pantang-ness that is more discouraging ..Is the explaining zzzz but yet I still can't keep quiet even it's the next pregnancy .. Cos I will need help with my boy ( he too active and heavy ) .. The last time I still carry him Though he 13kg , went buy house warming stuff , clean up house etc ( kinda regret cos I am really fit during my first pregnancy , hubby also guilt to treat me like a super women all along even after I am pregnant )..

Surprisingly a lot of ppl still ask me if I am pregnant yet , though they know I had a mc in April .. But one thing for sure , I will stop attending all those baby shower, children birthday if I am pregnant, hubby also don't allow .. . Since the last one happened on one of the occasion ..

Though I am not working , but I will be obvious if I am pregnant .. Cos I got really busy schedule to follow everyday .. Yoga every mornig after sending my boy to sch with my friends,, then lunch , then send my boy back home .. After that make him sleep , after that maybe bring him out .. Household chores are all done by me alone also , cos I refuse to have a maid .. So once pregnant , need to adjust the way I lead my life , will probably find a maid ..
 
princess,

don't feel sorry for me, haha sometimes i feel that i asked for it... should have read up more and be more prepared instead of being so stupid to hear ppl say this say that... i just went to read up abt jocelyn wong, ppl in mummy sg forum strongly recommended her.... she really quite Pro.... u are under good hands...
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Tomomi,

actually i dun dare to announce because i had seen too many cases of my friends MC, so i decided just be pantang and dun tell, who knows.. also mc.... but i am a very pantang person by nature.... after this, i also went to research about fengshui, see if my new flat fengshui got problem or not... want to avoid mc again....
your friends very weird leh... they know you MC, yet still ask if you are pregnant... why they so insensitive? Once you are pregnant, i think you better not tire yourself out again, get a maid to help if you can afford....these 36 weeks are really very important
 
min81

i think last time my mum also went through a procedure to adjust her womb before conceiving me...
she say she tried for 3 years but no news... after an experienced gynae told her about her womb position problem, then adjusted for her, then she conceived me successfully..... i think a good gynae is really very important...

i ever heard of a case from my hus's coll.... her friend MC for 7 times.... dunno what is the reason... change gynaes several times, none of them can tell her what is the reason... even do checkup, blood test also cannot tell any reason.... until one very very old gynae, now retired liao, told her that its because her womb position and cervix opening problem..... so after she got pregnant for the 8th time, the gynae ask her to quit her job, stay home bed rest for the whole 8 months.... so that the baby will not drop out.... and this is how she got her rainbow baby.... very scary right
 
princessangel

from what the elderly told me
wedding, baby showers, funerals all cannot attend... and even if you give presents, angbaos, pek kim... also considered attended.... so better dun attend and dun give anything
 
Tomomi,

Only told a few close friends/colleagues when preggy.. Both our families didn't know.. When got back to wk, colleagues asked if i'm preggy cos i was away for more than a mth.. I just told them straight had a miscarriage.. They were ok, told me to take care and try again, and they don't bring up again.. Anyway, we don't need to explain to pple also.. People who probe too much are kinda insensitive..

Jhw,

Hope the surgery will help me like it helped your mum
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min81,

Hope everything goes well for u on monday. Good luck for the natural iui!! Who knows scarli strike before ivf
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I am trying natural now. I done 2 iui in June and July. Clearing the medication from the body and taking tcm now. Trying to relax more now.

jhw,

If u plan to see Dr Henry Cheng, then make an appt and go talk to him. Prepare some questions, have a good talk with him and see if u r comfortable with him. I believe in chemistry between people.
 
Princess

when i do wisdom tooth surgery, Dr Su told me Longan Red Date tea can effectively clear and pass out the anaesthetic drug and antibiotics from my body... better than water..... since u also taking LRD daily, i think should be no problem...
my colleague also told me the same thing, as in go to Dr Henry Cheng and talk to him.... But if i am not pregnant, he will also see ah?
 
jhw,

Its ok, can talk to him. Nowadays, people do that. Even we buy things, sometimes we compare prices, quality etc before we finalise one. So, no harm doing that.
 
Jhw,

We don't have to wait till we're pregnant to see a gynae.. I was seeing a gynae from the time i was married to do yearly pap smears and just routine check.. You can make appt to see dr henry cheng, 1st visit he'll most prob get you to do a pap smear if you've not had one done in the past yr.. Then he'll do a v scan and check your uterus.. Will be good for you cos you've not had a check since mc..

Princessleopard,

Thanks
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All the best you too k!
 
Min81,
All best to u!!
Stay relax n then be higher chance to conceive. Jiayou!

Jhw,
Yes, go to n have a feel. U need to be comfort with the Dr.
That wat I did during my search for a gynea. Hehe!

Tomomi,
I use to dun believe in pantang, only until MC happen.
My mil keep telling us Not tell anyone I'm pregnant but turn out she told all her friends n relative. Happening it was during cny period, everyone keep Congrat us. Then shorty my SIL baby girl birthday too. No choice, we had to attend. The following night, I felt bad cramp on my tummy but no discharge. My Dr assume I'm too tired or the bb is pulling my womb bigger. The next week dr did a scan n cfm I lost my bb heartbeat during the last week.

Til now I still can't forgive my inlaws.
 
Princess, Min81
actually i very scared he ask me do Papsmear
i heard that papsmear painful..
if just scanning and check uterus, i tink still okay... OMG, being a woman really not easy...

Celest

everytime u visit a new gynae last time, got to pay consultation fee?
i tink your MIL is too much.... tell U dun say, but she herself go and say.... no wonder u said she partially caused your mc.... This time round, if u preggy, rem not to tell her again... and Not to attend any red and white.... that time when i was preggy, i did not attend anything, but i gave pek kim to my colleague because her granny passed away... Elderly told me this is not allowed too... considered attended even if u only give tokens
 
Jhw,
Yes I have to pay for consulation fee.
What I understand is, first consolation will be higher fee. Following on will be cheaper.
Papsmear is not painful at all, they will use a duck mouth thing to open up then something to scrub some surface out. U need to find a good Dr to do it. Heard one my friend who did at those normal GP. She say cause her some bleeding afterward.

So happen tat it crash on a cny. From day 1, everyone ask me I'm pregnant? I dun dare to say no n just walk away. Then 2nd day, my mil already told all the relative. Everyone Congrat me like no biz. My hubby very angry n confront my mil, she act blur n keep saying she didn't n still push to us. Aft MC, my hubby stop going to visit her. Mil complain n my SIL scolded me very badly, saying I shd encourage my hubby to go. Haiz!! Lucky I'm not staying with them. Til now I have not visit them yet.
 
Jhw,

Don't worry about the pap smear k.. I'm super super scared of pain and i can tell you it's just a few sec of discomfort at most.. Actually, it's also a good way to tell if you are comfortable with the gynae.. I felt a lot of discomfort with my previous gynae though she's a lady.. Surprisingly, with my current male gynae, when i did a pap smear on my 1st visit, i didn't feel anything at all, was over in a sec! Haha.. Think he knew i was tense, kept tokking and asking me questions till i relaxed.. When he said he was done with it, i was like, huh do already meh?? Haha.. Don't worry k, be brave for that few sec!
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Celestine,

Wah quite drama ah.. Since ur hubby on your side, don't bother with mil and sil then..
 
Jhw,

Pap smear is not painful, perhaps just a little discomfort, something like v scan. No worries on that. I think u shld visit him & do some checks, ensure everything is fine after mc.

Celest,

Our mil shld b friends. I told only 4 ppl abt my preggy, 2 colleagues, my sis & granny. But my mil perhaps told a dozen more. She shld b e one dealing w all e explanations after my mc, so its unfair that i had to deal w all those nonsenses when relatives came to me & ask abt my pregnancy when i already mc. She do things do halfway, tell ppl i preggy but din tell them i mc.
 
Min81 & princess,
Need sort out with my emotion n same time their drama.
Lucky hubby siding me, or I might gone crazy. Lol
Wa! Damm unlucky.. Saw my hubby relative.
 
Jhw ,

Papsmear not painful .. But a bit discomfort especially when u are tense up or nervous .. Best to relax .. The time when I seek another gynea for advise , that was 2 months after my mc , he check by abdominal and vaginal also , will tell u if u got ovalulatibg eggs .. But I went cos I was concern abt having mild cramp always on right side .. But he told me he saw a few small cyst .. But those small cyst is common , and the pain is the bursting of small cyst .. Sadly to say , I went to another gynea for papsmear is becos dr sim appointment is so full that time , I need to wait for 3 weeks to 1 month .. But I can't wait cos the cramp kinda bothering me .. Since it existed from I pregnant to mc to 2 months after mc ..

Regarding Angbao and pek Kim , we cannot siam ... Hubby need to attend a lot of customer's children birthday .. Since they give him business ..

Celest ,

Can understand how u feel ... But my mil super pantang till also scary!!!! Did tell my side if I pregnant again , should I tell ? But all told me I must tell them cos they will help me with my son , in case I not feeling well , I can also leave my son there with my auntie and cousins , they will handle ... Cos my mil can't handle my son at all ..

Min ,

I don't tink they are not sensitive , cos ppl are easier to conceive after a mc ... But I will reply normally , and say ' not so fast ba ' .. But, even if I am pregnant I also will not say so early now ... =P
 
thanks Princess, Celest, Min81 & Tomomi for your assurance... i will go book an appointment with Dr Cheng soon, maybe next week if possible...
now just by thinking abt it, i feel v nervous ...
 
Jhw,
I dare to say it even better then V-scan. Ho Ho Ho!
As long relax, nothing be afraid. Tell ur gynea it ur first time, then he will guide u. Jiayou!

Tomomi,
Ever let me get pregnant, die die I wouldn't share with my inlaws. Had enough of them.
Ever since mother's day it been mths, my hubby have not visit his mother. Just told him to go back himself, at least show some face. I dun wish others to point finger at me. Anything they will push the blame onto me.
 
Celestine, me too and my hubby did not visit my in laws already and will not tell them anymore in future I am pregnant. Anyway they any be really bothered with us too.
 
Jhw ,

It's a normal routine we need to get used to since we got to check every year .. Oh ya , I already completed my cervical jab ..

Celest ,

Cannot don't tell my in laws , she pantang till Max .. Cos we still got a room in her house though we moved out a few months back .. If she know I know I pregnant but never tell her , then they go move my bed , then Choy Choy .. She sure nag like no tml ...
So far I am still okie with her but we got really huge age gap .. Cos my mil as old as my grandma .. So certain things we can't get along but will close one eye ..
 
Princess n Tomomi,
I had no choice. My hubby use to be a mummy boy.
Even now already stop visiting, they still contact each other without me ard. Can feel that my hubby miss them. Honestly I wish my hubby wouldn't even contact them anymore but I can't be selfish. My priest even told him, we already marry n no more 2 person. We consider as one now, meaning he shd united with me n not with his mum. He a very filial boy.. No choice.
 
Jhw,

Quick go and make appt!
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Celestine,

I guess no choice, cos no matter what, they are his family.. At least he doesn't force you to mingle with them, and he understands why you are upset with them.. Try not to let yourself be too troubled over it k..

Hi ladies,

Anyone knows if we can continue drinking DOM and LRD with ginger drink after a surgery? Wondering whether i should stop after surgery, and for how long.. TIA!
 
Hi min81, all the best to your lap upcoming Monday. I did lap in April also. After surgery, better avoid Dom n LRD tea for at least two weeks ba. Cos Dom is herbal liquor... LRD aids blood circulation so I Dnt know if it will make your internal wounds worse or not. Best is to drink some fish essence n avoid Liang food/drinks. I was on the bed for a day. 2nd day onwards I cld move ard freely more with lesser discomfort. By the 4th day, I cld make my way by mrt to c my Gynae for review Liao... But have to walk slowly. Try to eat more fish after surgery ya. Jia yo.
 
GBOB,

Thank you so much! Okie looks like recovery should be quite fast.. Can take the plain chicken essence right? Don't mind i ask, what did the doc do for your lap surgery?
 
Min81, I'm not sure if can take chicken essence leh. But I took lah... After taking then heard from someone in the forum said something abt not taking chicken essence but take fish essence instead. And also Dnt eat eggs. Theory behind it I don't know. Haha. I have blocked left tube so I requested for a lap. During lap, my doc destroyed a few cysts n fibroids, some slight ando n cleared my tube. I successfully conceived naturally the following month but unfortunately bb no heartbeat at week 7. Sigh...but nvm, I'll try again
 
GBOB,

Ohh.. Okie, ya heard about the fish essence too, maybe will get that.. Thanks
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Yesterday the doc who'll be doing the lap for me told me not to be discouraged by my mc.. He said the fact that i had conceived before shows chances are high.. So we all jia you together k..
 
min81, ya hopefully I can get a bfp ASAP lor. Still abit sore over the loss. It wasn't really ez for me to get a bfp de... Haha.. But of cos, will just have to buck up n try again. All of us here bfp soon!! Wear a dress to hospital for the op n mayb bring along some pads just in case ya. Sleep early tmr night. Relax n Dnt b scared. It's nothing really
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Finally done with the chao du... it will be whole day event... but i visited my bb and bought milk for him... didn't think that i will feel emo but i did... finally a closure...
 
Princessangel,

Good to know that. I think only ladies understand what we are going through.

jhw.

Good. I done my chao du last sun finally.
 
princess

its really not easy. to actually go there and see my bb's tablet.... and not to cry.... i saw many parents bought many toys, sweets, biscuits etc etc for their bbs.... but i only bought two bottles of milk... i felt so bad about myself...
 
piky i reached there around 11.30 am
then after talking to my bb, offering him milk, i went to eat the vegetarian food in the temple.
today i plan to eat whole day vegetarian with my hubby.... my hubby never go, u know guys damn lazy... so i go with my mum...
 
jhw,

有心就好。 No need to compare. At least one thing off your load. Can move on more at ease. Getting emo is normal, today sitting on the couch watching tv with hubby, I suddenly thought that if my bb is still around, this house should be filled of laughters and cries, not this quiet state.
 
Princess,

I believe Our bb will be back to us soon...

Thats what i said to him just now...
i say come back and be my bb again..

Hope to hear good news from everyone here soon
 
My friend just Watsapp me to share her piece of good news with me. A news that I somehow alrdy had the hunch abt. She's expecting n twins. I know I shd b happy for her. But I cnt help feeling very upset. Very very emo abt it. I feel I am psychologically not balanced cos I know I shd b happy for her but somehow I hated her for telling me her good news. honestly I rather not know abt it. I alrdy unsubscribed from her news feed on fb n she had to purposely Watsapp me to share with me her good news. Am I 变态ah?
 
GBOB, a friend who tried 1 year plus tild me her good news when I was doing my mini confinement. It breaks my heart so much. Y must she tell me when I just lost? Now I am better already, met her and even intro her my gynae. I believe my turn will come again soon
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Princessangel, I know they not purposely de. Well, my friend didn't know abt my mc. I fully understand that it's unintentional. I just can't help feeling very upset abt it. Y am I feeling this way?! I keep asking myself. Am I a bad person? Cos i know very well that I shdnt feel this way n shd b happy for her but I just can't. Totally spoilt my mood... Its not that I Dnt feel happy for her... I do but at the same time I will feel 10times more miserable for myself.

Sisters, hope u all won't misunderstand me. If sisters here bfp, I wnt feel this way... I don't know why n how come the difference in my feelings.... I am fine in here... In the cyber world.... But in reality, I cnt take it sometimes....
 
GBOB, it's normal.. We are all humans and def breaks our heart. We are happy for them but sad for ourselves. Till now I still feel sad at times for myself why others can have a smooth pregnancy but not me. Just have faith and believe that our rainbow babies will come soon
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Thanks princess angel for your comforting words. N thanks to this forum. This is the only place I can rant out to cos even my dearest dh doesn't understand the emotional distress I'm gg thru.... Thanks gals....
 


GBOB,
Having this feeling is normal.
Every now and then i saw my friend whom TTC the same time as me. Her daughter was already 2 year old. See them does make me sad and felt so helpless. Nowadays i try to avoid going out with them, as they alway complains abt their daughter misbehave etc. Which i felt it such a blessing to have a child and dun understand why they dun appreciate.

Feel free to share ur sorrow with us, it a supporting group for all us wor. *^^*
 
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