Support group - Miscarriages

Hi ladies, been reading your posts lately... i hope everyone stays positive and for myself, i try not to think so much (easy said than done).
This m/c actually brought me and my family rship closer. I finally see the real love from both my family and my in laws. I felt bad that i cant give them a rabbit bb.

My first af is not hear yet, my neck is growing way too long. It's almost 49 days after D&C!

Christine, I just bought the raspberry leaf tea and started drinking 2 days ago. Hoping my af will come soon. I have slight little spotting but no blood yet. Very frustating leh...

Brenda, yes it's me, the holiday was nice but short. Am planning for another break to HK next month.
 


Holidaygal: i also spotted for 3 days before my af flow like river.. My 2nd af is late also... So sian....

My temper so so bad...
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Wah.. U good nor.. This mc makes your rs with your in laws better.. Mine got worse.. And its very terrible...


And im hatin it.... Im going hk next month also! During the one week school holiday!

I just came back from langkawi a week ago.. Went with my elder sis. Can say langkawi is very very beautiful.. And the services at westin resort is super shiok!

But the partner is wrong.. Haha.. If my hub can make it, it will be nicer but my hub and my sis not in very good terms also...

Got pissed off with my sis for making stupid remarks also...saying that my mc was wat i deserve. Cannot blame anyone but myself..

Say that if i am to try again, and same thing happen, can blame my hub for being too fat and unhealthy.

But she didnt know going thru the pain of mc is something u cannot withstand.. Its a pain that u cant wash away.

She herself is single had not even got married, she doesnt know the stress of being a mummy. Dont know the stress of trying to give birth to a grandchild for in laws.

And she dont know that pregnancy isnt something u say u want means u can get it. Mc is something so common and yet no one wants to get it...

And she can use her 1001 reasons to bomb me over my mc...

So.. Tell me.. How my af can be on time.. One bomb finish come back sg... My in law bomb me...

Im so pissed off nor... When i wanna stay also have to interfer... Keep making negative remarks on my mum.. My mum also didnt say her.. She say my mum...

My in law thinks that she phone my hub and scold me i cannot hear... But too bad... My hub eventually on speaker loud loud let me hear every single words clearly...

Say her religion changed her life.. She has no temper and so on.. Ya... Temper like dont know what...

These few days ar... Damn pissed off with all those nonsense.

My in law can have kids but she dont want, she went bortion.. I want to have my own child i cant i got mc... She cant even bloody see the difference.

Mood damn bad... Af dont come... Hearing ear sore remarks.. Hais.... I think holidaygal u are alot luckier than us.. Cos most of us has got mil problems..
 
hi Holidaygal,

same ... me waiting for like the 7th week? Oh well... i think could be our stress.

Is good to keep it positive.

Where did you girls buy raspberry leaf tea? GNC or guardian?

Let me know
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Happy,

I wish it's stress reason but i'm the most stressfree person on earth now, haha...i stopped working after preggie and felt into depression after D&C...now recovered but super bored.
Everyday read,watch TV,surf net and experimented on cooking! Hubby complimented my culinary skills had improved, hehheh....

Like what Christine said, naturaworks carry that product but they provide free delivery only with S$80 purchase and above.
http://www.naturaworks.com/Shop/products/Organic-Raspberry-Leaf.html

In the end, i bought mine from this baby dust shop. 100gm pack for $7 (inclusive of postage). I received my package 2days after fund transfer. Now enjoying my cup of yummy tea.
http://babydustshop.blogspot.com/2010/11/organic-red-raspberry-leaf.html

After D&C, i oso tried a womb strengthening massage inhouse. $60 for an hour, quite good and helps to destress.

Christine,
I'm so sorry to hear of the comments that your sis made. It's inhumane! No one understands that pain of m/c until she experiences it.
The world just fell apart the moment we know that bb heartbeat is no longer there...For us to go through this, we become much stronger than anyone we know. Dun pay any attention to silly remarks, ignore them and be happy everyday, ok?

Ah...i stayed at Westin Langkawi last yr too. I like the overall ambience of that resort and the pool is great yah! Last month, i stayed at Westin Bali Nusa Dua. It's a lot worse than Langkawi. Will not go back there again.
 
I wanted to buy from baby dust shop, but they didnt get back to me.. So, i bought it from naturaworks instead.

About your inhouse massage, how many time do u have it a month? I want to get myself one bu i dont know who to look for. Maybe u can introduce it to me?

Yeah.. Im learning to shut out all comments.i also not working.. Wanted to look for a job after my wedding but intend to plan for bb making. So until now i did no work. My hub say i just focus on my stuff. Now he earn is good enough.

He dont want me to stress.
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im lucky to have this hub. Cos he really look after me.

I intend to go back to langkawi in april for a short holiday with my hub and aim for bb making. :x got to be accurate on my o period before i book them.
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Hopefully, i can get a good news after im back from langkawi. Hehe..
 
Wah... Seems good.. Maybe can look for her... Get my uterus tone up first. Hehe..

I taking prenatal pills from gnc, folic acid, fish oil, royal jelly, natural e, selenium.

All from gnc.
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Just to check with u gals.. im back to work after my D&C 2 weeks ago.. but now i hv backache whenever i sit for too long or walk too much.. is it normal? Nvr hv this prob before that..
 
Hi Christine, thanks for ur reply. I thought why like that.. and i hv been working late since i came back to work. I know its not good for me but during my absence nobody clear my work.. sad. thought of resigning since long time ago. really no mood to work liao. sianz
 
Precious, it's normal no wories .. juz rest more than usual rest ur back ... for the 1st mth .. u'll b fine soon ...

Don't work too late, for the time being, u need lots of rest ...

Juz try to relax and ur AF for the next cycle will come promptly.
 
Holidaygal, ur recommendation seems good ... but isit too late for me to start on this massage .. I've already gotten my 1st cycle back ...
 
Brenda: start af canot massage already? I still got intention to take up the massage since i am not trying to conceive yet leh..
 
Brenda, Christine
yes still can do massage. It helps to strengthen the womb and relax our body.
Sharon is very experienced, she knows what is good at what stage. she had m/c b4 so she understands the pain we r gg thro.
Just drop her an email and tell her your concerns, she will advise accordingly.
 
okie ... perhaps we shld ask if the package is transferable .. and we can gather and share for all our 1st time ..

Holidaygal, do u intend to take up more sessions after u tried the 1st session ? So we'll use her bed .. interesting .. she bring her own bed .. which i tot was a good idea so our bed wont turn oily ..
 
Brenda,
yah she brings her own massage bed and bed covers. totally professional. With the soothing music, u can easily fall asleep.
She sells the massage as a single treatment. No package, so you dun have to commit to buying anything. Just pay per treatment.

Me thinking of doing another womb massage next month...tempting
 
Oh... Im interested to do it... I think just by drinking raspberry tea leaf not enough.. My cousin also advice me to do the massage.

But my room not big enough leh... I got maid at home some more... Maybe can do in my mum's room. Her room big enough.

Air con room should be ok ba.. Just take it as a spa session. Shall tell my hub tonight. See wat he say... 60bucks isnt expensive also. Good value.
 
Hello all ... Very demoralise... Company is going to have retrenchment ... So many bad things happen and this is only start of year.. First, mc and now this... Haiz...
 
Benda, Christine
Yes it's a full body massage with focus on the womb area. It's ok to turn on the aircon but for me, i dint turn it on cos i was still in my confinement period. Yah take it as a normal spa massage, very relaxing. Enjoy!

Mommytq,
Cheer up, dun think so much, it might not happen afterall.
 
First time in forum, was a silent reader since my mc 19 dec 2010. Lost bb at 8 weeks. Woke up on sun morning n discover was bleeding heavily n couldn't save the bb at all. Doc also say no reason for sudden bleeding, did my dnc on that day n went back work after 1 week.

My af reported 1mth later, ard 30 days. Cramp was bad, never had before when I had my ms. I read up online n ordered raspberry tea as well from bbdustshop. Surprisingly the cramps went away after drinking raspberry tea. Now having my second af, slight cramp but I not sure whether it is the raspberry tea it helps or not. I find it somehow it helps to relieve cramps n blood flow better.

U gals can try. That's my experience. Still trying to recover from my 1st mc(also 1st preg),but somehow there are setbacks when friends ard me get preg so easily. N I have no intention to tell my best friends that I mc. After this mc, I only hope for healthy bb regardless which zodiac animal. I hope all gals here will have sticky bb also.
 
Hi gals,
Do u think I shd do a full checkup with gynae to check my ovaries n everything? I n hb only started ttc last yr oct n I didn't have any full body checkup with gynae before? Can hb check up with gynae also?
 
Holidaygal: yeah! Im startingvmassage with her
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Simplelife: since its you first mc.. Take i easy.. It can be just due to bad egg or sperm.. Which is a by luck thing.. Dont take it too hard on yourself...

All of us experience the same thing... Bu you odd to be glad that your af is on time. Unlike mine.

Had been drinking raspberry tea.. But it didn help for my 2nd af.. Till now its not here yet.. Its soon to. Over due.. I still dont know how...

You are consider lucky already... Take it easy alright? Try taking supplements to improve you health.. Same goes for you hub... Things will get better soon. But you have to remember you have to take at least 3 months of supplement before tryin to conceive...
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Christine: thanks a lot.
Haha, I'm 32 yr old this yr. Mil sort of hinting me n hb to have bb but I only got married last feb. I will get the supplements from gnc.
My gynae said we can try after my first af reports, but mentally not ready yet. Will try after 3mths of resting.
 
Simplelife: yup. Get the more important supplements to eat. Try changing your diet too.

Try eating more wheat germ, i can help produce more hormones and cut down the rate of mc.

Almond as well. It helps produce healthy eggs.

Get your hub to eat onions and tomatoes.

Its very good for him. My hub also seldom eat those but once i told him very good for him, he started taking them if he has got the chance.

Both onion and tomato help your hub to increase sperm count and produce even better quality sperm.

Sometimes age isnt really the problem to your mc. Some ppl can even get preggie at the age of 40. So, dont worry. Be stress free.

You have to eat folic and multi vitamins. For me i eat prenatal pills instead. Cos i do unprotected sex. So i take my pills in advance in case i hit jackpot without knowing.

Your hub have to take selenium and vitamin e. There is one called natural e with selenium from gnc.

Some extra stuff like fish oil and royal jelly. They are important as well though. So u can just buy and eat them.

I also hoping i will be able to go for bb making but also not mentally ready. So, shall not try until i end my 3rd cycle.

But i have got one problem. I am afraid i might be already preggie. My af isnt here and im starting to feel tired every afternoon, my breast is feeling tender.

Quite worried. Hopefully i not that lucky just yet... Im not prepared for it... Hais...
 
Hi Christine, don think so much ... if u are really pregnant, u can rejoice
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Gotta keep it positive

That can be symptoms of PMS too. I also feel tired too hahaha but i been exercising alot last week and this week too busy to exercise and thus maybe the fatigue.

Alright AF when are you coming ?? -_-"
 
Yeah i hope so too.... Then i guess my af is late.. If im having pms only now... Hais..

I also waiting for af.. Its so naughty.. When u want it, it dont come but when u dont want it, it appear like fountain...
 
i feel so down today....frens gave quite insensitive remarks over my m/c. Am i having mood swings again? i kept crying today...or is it PMS symptoms?
 
Holidaygal: many ppl dont understand the process of mc. And they will think that its nothing. But its becos that isnt their flesh and blood, thats why their remarks can be so insensitive.

Same goes for my sis and mil. The worst still my mil went thru the pain of losing one child before. Yet can tell me rubbish.

But after thinking it thru, why should i be upset over what they say. None of them had been thru what i had gone thru. They dont have the right to say me. My mil took away the rights of her child to live. My sis not even married still single.

She will never know the difficulty of getting preggie and losing it. Thats why my hub told me. Wait till they face the same problem. They will think back about what they say about others and then regret.

They may have a smooth preggie but after child birth? Will their child be healthy? Will they be healthy? Things changes from time to time.

All we have to do is to get our body back in shape and try again. The next time round it will be a good one.. By then we can shut their mouth with our big tummy.

Mc is nothing to be ashame of. Those who are to be ashame of are those who abort their bb. Those who avoid preggie. Cos they will never enjoy the process of being a mummy.
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Dont cry ok? You must stay positive. We are here to support you.
 
hello Holidaygal,

There will be people making insensitive remarks. Will pray for you to have patience towards these people.

Take sometime off and do something u like to do. If you need to cry, just cry it out loud. God gives you tears to heal. Suppressing it will only make it harder for you to heal.

I cried everytime i think of my baby. Do you know i gave my child a name
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It makes me feel closer and though some people labelled the child as "it", but is a life after all.

Perhaps today you would like to give a name to your child and write a letter to the baby.

When I was feeling down, i always write a letter to him and tell him how mommy is feeling today. Each time after writing and crying, i felt much better and i know every step i am taking now is a step to heal.

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Hugs
 
Thanks girls for your supportive words, i feel comforted to have you gals around. It seems like i am losing real frens and making more internet frens!

Everyday i told myself i have to be strong and recover fast fast, body and mind. Body is ok now but my mind is still weak.
Medication helps but i dun wish to depend on it too much. I find myself shutting out from the outside world as i hate to deal with mindless remarks. I want to walk out and be a proud person again.
 
Holidaygal: its ok to let it out. Say what u think here... I did name my bb as well.. I name her gift. She was a gift from heaven. Which i am proud of. She is my pride. Losing her its hard but at least she did try to stay with me for awhile.

I dont blame anyone for her departure. Not even myself. Cos i know even if i blame myself everyday. Cry for her everyday, shut myself up everyday, she will not return.

Thats why i tend to do harsh workout every day. No matter how tired or lazy am i, i still go fo my 1hr30mins jog everyday in the gym.

I do light exercises at night to make myself tired and to sleep better.

I went to see my famil doc today for my body rashes. He did mention why did i stop seeing gynae. Then i told him i had a mc.

He was so awkward but i told him bravely, its ok, im fine, i will be trying again.

He was happy that i was positive. He did told me. Sometimes things just happen. We have to live with it.

Dont have to worry much.

I also start to feel that my real world friend are gettig further and further. I also try to avoid meeting them.

U can walk out to be a proud person again. Try going with for a date with ur hub one in a while.

I also tend to look at strangers when i step out. Thinking will they know if i had mc before and all.

But after awhile when i got better. My mum also told me i cannot keep staying at home. I must get used to the outside world again.

Take it easy. Be patient. Time will heal your soul.
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There is a beautiful name Christine
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I name my child Joy because He was a joy and the joy of the Lord is my strength that enables me to go through.

I suggest too talk this to your hubby and allow him to grief with you too. Their way of expression is different from us but i have to say it brought us closer.

Do you all know, i was very worried when i got pregnant. I was concerned if i was financially strong enough to support the child. I was concerned how am i going to take care and again financially stable to engage someone to take care of the baby.

After this, these things doesn't matter. All i want is he or she to be healthy and grow up to have love and compassion for people around him or her.

I encouraged exercises. It really helps to keep your mind positive.
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Thanks Christine. Hope whether u preg or not, it will be a sticky one. I don't wish for more only healthy bb.

I will try out what u say.
Holiday gal: dun be upset those mindless remarks. I treat them like ear in ear out. Go for some shopping release.
 
Happy: thanks
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yeah.. I burst out in tears few days ago.. When his mum called and scolded me like dont know what... I cried and let out my emotions in front of my hub..

He then knew i wasnt totally ok...but after a good cry, i felt so much better.

I was also worried about having enough money to feedmy child in future. But then, i realised i was wrong. Money can be earned. But child is something we cant get using money.


So, i rather have a healthy bb and earn money later...

Simplelife: i hope so too.. My hub say if by next tue my af isnt comin i will have to see my gynae already...

Hope it can be a good news though...
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Hi all,

I tried brisk walking today. But shortly after few steps, can feel the uterus straining. I stop immediately cos the feeling is uncomfortable. It is already the 3rd week after dnc. Is the strain normal ?

Same with you gals, I feel emotional at times still. This is made worse with the newborns and pregnancy news from
both my family and in-law side. How I wish I can be like them, going through healthy pregnancy and holding a healthy
baby in my arms...
 
Mommytq: i dont know leh.. Im afraid of facing the test kit.... I dont know how. I dont know if i should continue takng my tea. Cos if i am really preggie i must stop immediately leh..

Bu i chose to believe that my af is late than being preggie.

One big problem, my hub did not release inside me... But on thing is.. Even i he did not but during the process some of it could had been release inside durng his climax mode.

So, im praying i cant be that lucky. Just that tiny bit of that can make me preggie.. Cannot be leh...

How?
 
Christine: do a test to check, better be safe than sorry. A test kit only cost how much n a bb is worth more. As a safe precaution, stop drinking the tea. High chance of pregy! Let us know. It helps to bring up hopes among us that after a mc, all can be fine. U n hb shd consider getting ur flat...can avoid mil everyday. I only go back to mil's plc once a week n I travel often for work, haha sometimes don't even see mil.

Mommytq: cheer up, everyone here will def be successful, just a matter of time. tried exercising 2 weeks at bodycombst gym class n I realized my body was weaker than I thought. My back ached so much considering that before I knew I was preg, I used to hit gym 4 times a week. Rest more, going walking in the pool, less strenous
 
Simple: hmmm... Yeah... Intend to get it tomorrow and test it...
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hmmm.. Our finance isnt stable enough cant afford a flat yet leh.. I also hope i can get a flat soon. Next tim when my kids grow up no matter what i need my own house also...

Got to talk to my hub.
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Hey gals, i'm glad to be back. Really appreciate the support of you gals here.
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Christine, maybe you can try taking temperature also. If preggie, the temp will continue to remain elevated (i.e. in the 37.1 range). Near to AF, usually the temp start to drop till ard 36.5, 36.6 degrees because of falling progesterone levels.

mommytq and simplelife: I also feel strain in the womb area after walking too much. But gradually, I am feeling much better. Yesterday, I stood for quite a while - 1-2 hrs while preparing for food and i found that my legs started to hurt. Maybe I'm still very unfit.
 
Beowie: my temp is going up and down leh... Sometime 36.8, sometimes 36.6.

Its going up and down. I dont know what is happening. Just want my af to come asap. But it hasnt been any sign of my af coming...

But i had been having some water retention recently.

If i this month never come then it isnt something good already.... Hais..
 
Christine - if that's the case, like what simplelife said, maybe a home preg test will help to resolve all the mystery.

I think you may have a chance of getting preggy since withdrawal method is not 100% foolproof!

did you use ovulation monitoring this month?
 
thx christine for ur advice! coming 1 wk from my ms, time seem fast...

hav u test wit the kit yet? dont worry everything will b fine de. do take care ya!

went to my gynae last nite for my scan, the sac has been passed out.. gg back for my 2nd review 2wks later n shd b clean by den.. gynae told me tat my next af shd b next mth n if wanna try can do it following mth. im still not ready as mind keep reminding the unhappiness..

had started my mini confinment today too. anything to take note of? saw u gals hav posting of the massage, can do it during this period of me or shd wait for everything clear out?
 
Hi piggylover, sorry to hear about your loss.
For mini-confinement, it'd be good if you have someone taking care of you (e.g. Mother, MIL), someone who knows how to prepare confinement food.
Do surround yourself with the people who truly love and care for you. It'd do wonders to your healing process because of their understanding, support and encouragement. Do stuff that takes your mind off the unhappiness... (For e.g. My hubby and I spent a few days doing nothing but watching 30+ episodes of chinese fighting drama + movies at home). Do expect that you'd cry now and then especially when you recall the past events that had happened. These days, I'd feel tearful when I see something sad on TV. Well I believe it's good to let the tears fall because it is part of healing.
I'm now back at work and working hard. Only thing is I'm wondering if I should quit my job and stay at home once I get pregnant next time. Anyone here has quit their job during early stage of pregnancy? I do love my work but last pregnancy I found myself feeling very stressed and I had very bad morning sickness.
 


Guess I also need to mention that I felt very stressed because I could not perform at work. (ie I can sit around in my office and feel like Sh*T, and i'd not be able to get any work done. Or I'd mess things up when I do take on a case and sometimes my work involved life and death situations of other pp)

Financially not a concern. Just that it's a job I've put my heart and great effort into. Also, I have a rather understanding boss.
 
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