Support group - Miscarriages

Hi doggy, ryes..

Im going for honeymoon too..somewhere in Apr or early May..Was supposed to go Sydney in Feb..I discovered i was pregnant in Jan..then we tot of going ahead..then I had the m/c..we cancelled the trip..Got a full refund from Qantas though..cos I gave them the gynae's letter.

Hi lyn, doggy..

Im so much better emotionally now..But somehow I seem like avoiding my pregnant fren..Happy for her..But friendship like not the same..I guess cos i didnt expect her to be so insensitive. Well..i think i shouldnt be like tat too..
 


Hi Doggy & Ling
Sorry about your lose...do take care of urself..

Doggy
I understand how you felt about your colleague. I also had a colleague who got pregnant shortly after my m/c and she just kept going on and on about her pregnancy...I used to felt very sore then...but now, I had learnt to go on...Now I just try to live my life to the fullest
 
thewife,
glad tat u r safe n sound since thailand is in the mess now n glad to hear tat u had a nice time there....

charis,
if my cycle is regular like before den it shld due todae...still no sign of it....now is CD30 liao...hopefully it will be here soon...anyway i will haf unprotected "exercise" after my 2nd cycle....

ryes,
bloated tummy....cud be a sign of coming...me too...let's pray tat it will be here soon.....

coral,
tat wud be great..wud like to find out more....

doggy,
sori to hear tat.....gd to haf a getaway....enjoy ur HM
 
Hi all,
I am new to this thread. Just had a miscarriage at 6 weeks 5 days, my embroy is not growing and hcg fall drastically from 867 to only 27 that is very bad. And my mense is here today, ah. Doctor mention embroy will be flush out together with mense but will do a scan on next week to check if any remains.

How long can I start trying again. Since my mense is here, is it advisable to try again so soon?
 
Jolene, give ur body some time to heal and recover.. also best to stay healthy by taking some vits and folic acid..


also is to heed what ur gynae said..
most gynaes will advise their patients to ttc again 3 mths later or so.. but u have to see urself if u're mentality and physically ready to do so..


god bless u..
 
Hi Ladies,
We din chat for quite some time and glad to know that u gals are healing well.

hi wendy
im not sure about the hourly rate as a secretary. Perhaps u could check with the job agencies?

hi coral
U not feeling well now? Pls take care of urslf and take a lot of rest.

hi charis
i agree with u even woman with weak womb can carry a baby till full term.
We shall take care of our body and maintain a healthy lifestyle.
My best friend recently also announced her pregnancy to me, although i feel glad for her, i do not wish to discuss too much about it with her too. If possible, i will try to avoid that topic. Somehow, it really made me feel really uneasy despite that it's almost 4mths since my mc. I really feel happier to go out with my single friends, dun talk about pregnancy and i really could enjoy myself thoroughly.
Somehow, i think i've learnt to move on, don't grief so much but i am not ready to discuss about their pregnancy gracefully with them w/o feeling some pain from the heart.

hi ling
Thank for sharing ur experience with us. Through the support of the gals here, although i still feel very upset, i learnt to move on too. We shall encourage and motivate each other to success eventually
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hi mar bride
Pls take good care of ur health. I've could fully understand how u feel emotionally especially it only happen in last week.
Have ur gynae advise u on the removal of the cysts? I used to have water cyst in the past, my gynae issue some pills for me and it cleared.
It's better to remove them thoroughly before ur next TTC attempt.
We can totally understand hw u feel towards ur colleague especially u r in the process of healing emotionally and there she is, keep saying about topics that's taboo to us . Sometimes I believe w/o these insensitive people, we can heal much faster.
If u feel embarrassed to tell her off directly, next time when she harp on her pregnancy, pretend tat u are concentrating on ur work or look elsewhere and don't look or reply to her. When she ask u a qns, u act apologetic and tell her that u did not notice she's talking to u coz u r concentrating on ur work or something else.

hi jolene
Sorry to hear about ur loss.
Some docs will suggest 2-3 cycles, it's better for u to consult ur doc next week.
How are u feeling right now?
It's not only emotionally wrenching but also physically draining to suffer from a mc. Like we mentioned, pls take care of ur health and have alot of rest in order to prepare for ur next TTC attempt.
 
Hi Everyone,
Thanks for all your concern, I'm feeling so much better compared to last week. But yesterday nite, I keep on telling hb how i wish i can wear those maternity clothes which i have bought....sigh!!!

Not sure what cyst is that, but doc mentioned I'm born with it!!! anyone heard such things b4? Anyway, he tell me to try after my AF come. Well, lets nature takes it course...nothing i can do.

Hi Charis,
I m going to Europe this May....have planned it quite some time back and that time pregnant, was hestitating, now, conform can go already
happy.gif
 
Hi Coral,

Do take gd care of yourself hor...

Hi doggy & jolene,

Sorry to hear abt ur loss... But be brave and stand on your feet soon... We are all here to support each other... Break thru' the obstacles soon...And remember now most impt is to take gd care of your health. Emotionally, yes, we need time to recover. Come in to talk to us if it is going to make u feel better. We are all sensitive people :p

Hi rest of the ladies,

Take gd care of yourself and keep on posting your thoughts here and share your pointers here... I'm sure it's going to help a lot of other ppl and I don't deny I benefit from here too... and of course make new frenzs too...Cheer up, the road ahead will be brighter and better! ;)
 
Dear Hamasaki

Thank you for your kind words. I do hope that I'll be successful the next time round.
happy.gif


You take care too..
 
Hi doggy, jolene and ling,

Sorry to hear about your loss. But this is a good support group here, so feel free to come in here if you need a listening ear.
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My 1st AF after my D&C just started today. It's been about 5.5 wks after my D&C. So far, not feeling any cramps yet but I did experience some short cramps the last few days.

Just to share, I am now taking a calcium supplement from GNC coz I want to build up my calcium stores in my body while I can and before my next TTC attempt. Research has shown that our bodies will be able to store calcium if we're below 30.
 
hi lyn

thanks for your encouragement..i've gotten over the initial pain an am much better now. will "add oil"...
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many hugzz..
 
hi bestwishes and zhuzhu

thank you both for your encouragement...

am sure that all of us here will help each other through these trying times..

here's a toast to all of us here!
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hi cookie

am sorry to hear of your loss too..btw, what's AF? am also currently folic acid in preparation for our next try. my gynae gave them to me so my body will be better prepared..

take care ya...
 
Hi ling,

AF is Aunty Flow, ie, menses.
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Yah, taking folic acid in preparation for next try is good too. My gynae gave me that advise as well.
 
HI, as promised, here's the paragraph. I got it wrong not LPD, but LH.

A simple predictive test, carried out before pregnancy, can help to identify women who are likely to miscarry again. During the menstural cycle, too high a level of LH (Luteinizing hormone, which controls other hormones involved in pregnancy, including estrogen) before ovulation increases the risk of miscarriage.
 
Hi Charis,
It will take time to get better emotionally. Last time, I also avoid my pregnant friends, and also friends whose wives are pregnant. When my hubby told me who and who pregnant already, I would cry even it's over for many months already. I got to a point when I just avoid reading newspaper and switching on the TV cos everything at that time to me made me sad. I can even cry while watching serials... I think many gals here been through this stage too...
That time when I was hospitalised after the d&c, my best friend visited me and brought her baby along to visit me. Come to think of it, I think she could be doing it to cheer me up in her own way
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It did take me some time to accept it.
Having said all these, the m/c will never be forgotten. The most important thing is we gotta help ourselves to move on. Nobody can help us, and we only have ourselves to help ourselves
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. I also read a lot at that time...
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I learnt to "accept the inevitable".
It's good to have a get-away with your hubby
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. I went to Myanmar with my hubby after the first m/c and a few months of stressful TTC, I cried there a few times :p.


Hi Jolene,
Sorry about your loss...
Try to take good care of your health and let your body heal
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.


Hi doggy,
There are two types of ovarian cysts. One is functional cyst which everyone will have during ovulation. I suppose we can say we are born with this functional cyst... If it's functional cyst, there's nothing to worry at all
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Wow... Which part of Europe are you going? So nice...
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Ok gals, you all take good care... Have a nice weekend...
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Thanks for all the well wishes and concern. I'm getting better, can have breakfast and lunch. Only still can't eat at night. My boss also trying to negotiate for me to stay behind, still talking the terms with her, so I may not be jobless afterall.

As for how long before ttc, I think really depends on individual. That time I was with a few gynae, one told me 3mths, one told me as soon as I'm ready, the nurse told me 6 mths. I was planning to ttc after 3 cycle, as I was definitely in no mood when I just lost Kaden. But by the time I past my 3rd cycle, I started to suspect if i'm having stone or endometriosis, so needed to do scans and x-ray do had to prevent myself from ttc. It was only after the gynae clear my health after all scans and x-ray that I started to ttc. That was 6 cycle after. Before I started to ttc, I monitor my mucus level and cycle date every month. So it was easier for me to predict my fertile period when I decide to ttc. But all the time, I told myself not to be too anxious and not to be such a control freak.
 
I agree with lyn that the lost of a m/c will never be forgotten and the pain will not go away. We just cope better over tiem. I still think alot about Kaden. I still can't help tearing when I think of him in my arms...I want to be happy when I think about him, but the bitterness and sadness still fill me. Let's give ourselves time to cope with the lost of someone so precious.
For ladies who just experience the lost, this is a very tough period. But do not keep to yourself. Open up and gain strength from your love ones. There's also many here who'll listen and support you when you need it. Take care.
 
Hi ladies..

Thank u for all the encouragement..Suddenly the tread is alive again..

Hi doggy..

I know how u feel..I bought maternity clothes too in the 1st tri. cos i didnt expect to end in an m/c..So i was really so sad looking at the mat jeans & clothes..Well but guess wat..I wear them now sometimes..cos my old size 24 jeans cant fit!..So wat the heck..jus wear..I WAS A MOTHER..right? I AM A MOTHER..jus that my baby's in heaven.
 
Hi ling & jolene...

Im sorry for yr loss..My heart goes out to u..
Take care..

U can TTC if u feel u hav recovered emotionally & physically..But do give yrself sometime, after u m/c, the womb is still 'swollen', so dont hav intercourse or TTC so soon..I think 2 weeks is the earliest..cos the cervix may still be open..
MOst of gynaes will say 2-3cycles then can TTC..

Hey coral..Btw, where/how do u get this test for LH? Can be bought in pharmacy?
 
Hi ling & jolene...

Im sorry for yr loss..My heart goes out to u..
Take care..

U can TTC if u feel u hav recovered emotionally & physically..But do give yrself sometime, after u m/c, the womb is still 'swollen', so dont hav intercourse or TTC so soon..I think 2 weeks is the earliest..cos the cervix may still be open..
MOst of gynaes will say 2-3cycles then can TTC..

Hey coral..Btw, where/how do u get this test for LH? Can be bought in pharmacy?
 
hi doggy, ling, Jolene,
Sorry to hear about your loss. Take care of yourself now and drink some tonic soup to build up your health.

Hi Doggy,
If it's functional cyst that Lyn was talking about, like she said, there's nothing to worry about. I had it after my m/c cos my hormones probably went haywire, and my body re-aborbed it back after a few months. My gynae said that since it's a follicular (functional) cyst, there is no need for any form of invasive surgery to remove it if it doesn't cause any intense pain esp. during sex. And it will not affect fertility.
So just enjoy your trip to Europe!

hi coral,
Glad to know you may not be jobless. It'll be good if you can negotiate something which you don't have to travel too much and workload not so heavy during your pregnancy period.
 
Hi Charis, the book did not say leh. It's abook by Dr Mariam Stoppard. My hb bought it from US during his trip there. It's a book about anything relating to fertility, preg, caring for new born...
Maybe have to ask gynae. I found the paragraph when I was reading the case about a woman with m/c history. So the doctor say they test her LH level before the new preg and found it to be in the acceptable level so it's another assurance that the preg is going on well.
 
Oic..thanks coral..I bought Dr. Miriam Stoppard book too from Kinokuniya..my fren recommended..She's good. Maybe can check with gynae abt this LH thing.
 
hi mar bride
i've never heard that cysts are born with us be4, perhaps u would like to seek for a second opinion?
So great that u r going for a holiday, u will definitely feel much better after tat.

hi mummies here,
Hw many attempts u tried before TTC successfully after ur mc?

hi ladies
I heard that after D&C, our womb will be the most fertile. I remembered that i read somewhere in this forum that some women who can't conceive will go for D&C to "clean" their womb. Some could conceive shortly after that.
Anyone heard of that?
 
hi ling, some of the gals here who had m/c before are successfully preggie again....
its not a smooth journey for most of us here but i believe one day ur dream to be a mother will come true..



Have faith... God will bless u with a healthy chubby baby soon...
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Hi bestwishes, I think there's some statistic about the average time for ttc b4 success. I'll check it out tonite and let you know. So far both time I find observing my mucus very helpful, both time strike on 1st try.
 
hi puppy2006,
i basically overspent, about 15 items for clothings - tops, skirts, 3 pairs of shoes, little souvenirs, 9 pcs of undies (3 for SGD $4, 2 bags, 2 pairs of earrings, had foot reflexology and massage.
As for TTC, Im not seriously thinking about it, but rather getting our sex life back to normal. had unprotected sex, if it happens, of cos will be happy, i dun really enjoy the 'pregnancy' period.
 
doggy, I lost my first bb at 24wks, now am abt 12wks preg. So still a MTB.
Both times, strike on first try. I think I mentioned b4, I look at my mucus. b4 AF, we'll have stretchy, transparent/white mucus. That's when we'll be ovulating. On the very day when the mucus dry up, it's the day when you ovulate. So it's good to BD when you start to see the mucus and also when you just dry up. Tat works for me. This other lady at another thread also use this method and it works just as well for her. Maybe you can give it a try.
 
Hi Coral,
Thanks for the info....will try. Can i know how long did you wait before you try again? Also, need to check with you ladies, how long after our m/c can we BD?
 
Hi Coral,
I have PCOS caused by imbalance in hormones-My LH level is slightly higher than FSH. If Im not wrong, LH hormone increases prior ovulation, so that the egg can burst from the follicle. If you test +ve via the ovulation strips, its because the strip detect the hi level of LH prior ovulation. For my case, this happened, but gynae said my egg was so small,did not look like its going to ovulate, but i did and got pregnant followed by m/c. I believe I've ovulated after that due to high LH or clomid pills tho' my egg was not so good.

Now, Im taking chinese medicine to balance my body+hormones. At the same time, gynae gave me another pill Metformine for PCOS.

I think the amount of time we need to recover also depends on the duration of the pregnancy, just have to tell ourselves to be patient and try for a healthy kid. Another way is to find new focus in life, do things that we have always wanted to do.
 
thewife, take this tiem to do things that you want to do. That time b4 I ttc I went on tour, go golfing, jog... Sometimes we need to enjoy ourselves to relieve ourselves of the unhappiness.
 
Hi doggy,

Best is to wait about 2 weeks after D&C. Usually gynae will ask you to come in for a follow-up check 1-2 weeks after D&C. If so, be sure to check with gynae if you can start BD or not. For my case, gynae gave me the green light 1 week after my D&C. Once your womb has shrunk and cervix has closed, and you're not suffering from any infection, BD is safe.

But do not force yourself to resume BD if you think you're emotionally not ready yet.
 
Hi doggy,

Best to check with your gynae, he/she will know your condition better... Do you have any post review with your gynae... You can check with him/her... if not, give a call to the office, I believe the staff will be able to advise based on your condition...

Of course, at the end of the day, are you physically and emotionally ready? The final decision still lies with you...

Cheer up... Don't stress yourself too much... Just move on... I'm sure you can do it... Majority of us have moved on with life... Just pop by here... we are here to help each other!

Hmm... long time never hear from elmo... is she on holiday too... Hello elmo, how are you doing???
 
Dear Ladies

Wendy again....for my personal experience if you had read my thread...

It is better to wait for at least a month before resume BD again and advisable to wait for at least 3 cycles for TTC. It is to rest your womb.

I recall when i recovered from the last miscarriage last september, i went for a swim and i started to bleed again the v next day and it is not menses, started to continue on and off for almost a month and was prescribed medication by my gynae.

After this 2nd miscarriage, i started to read alot about TCM. As our womb was being in a way "scarred" during D&C and if you want to have a healthy pregancy, better to nurse back your health.

I believe alot of chinese herbs and medication does help.

Nevertheless, my report is out and there is a reason why there is always danger in my early pregancies inclusive my 1st born, i decided after totally clean, i will seek for consultation from a TCM.

cheerio
wendy

take care
 
Hi coral
Thank you for ur kind info
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hi wendy
Nice to hear from u again. Mind if u share the result of ur report? Im very interested about TCM too, have u decide which TCM u intend to see?
 
doggy, what do you mean by when is the same tiem to BD again?

bestwishes, here's the stats I get from he book.

Among couple having intercourse regularly without contraception:
-25% of women will coneive in 1st mth
-60% within 6mths
-75% within 9mths
-80% within a yr
-90% within 18mths

After ovulation, an egg can be fertilized only for approximatelt 12-24hrs.

Val., I've not spoken to the part-time people yet. As part-time job they always expect one to start soon, and since my last day is 19Apr, so Im think of looking around only after I end my work here since I intened to rest until May before I start work.
 
Coral,
oh I see....ok hope u can find a prt time job soon in May after u offically leave the company
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BTW, just want to chk wif u, does

FSH =Egg Stimulating Hormone n
LH =ovulation hormone?

wah, I didint know too high of LH can cause m/c....
 
Doggy, I don't really know the best time. I'll try a few time when I start to see mucus until I dry up. Didn't want to give myself teh pressure of "THE" one and only time, else very pressurising for hb. So I try not to tell him I think I'm fertile just do it as per normal.

Val. I'll have to go back to check the title and price, I believe we can get the book in major book stores in Spore, mine was bought by hb when he was in US.

Actually, I also don't know what's FSH and LH.Maybe the wife can enlighten us since she has some experience with these two before. My onlyb knowledge was from that very short paragraph that i shared earlier, so I can't explain much too...
 
Hi doggy,

I remembered reading a book mentioning that if you are not sure when is the best time, count from the start of your 1st day of LMP then + 14days. So for example, your 1st day of LMP is 1st Apr + 14 days = 14th Apr, you can then start to BD alternate days or 2 or 3 days once... 'cos the "mens' tadpole" can stay in our body for up to 5 days.

Chances are that you will hit the "target" :p Most of my frenz did the above and get "shot", sometimes, judging the CEM can be a frustration and might not work (depends on individual's)

Oh yah...of course quality of the "tadpole" is important too...;) And no stress to yourself and partner... Take it as FUN!!!! ;p

Hi Wendy, yah... if not confidential, won't mind sharing your report with us...
 
Hi Coral,
FSH is the hormone that helps to mature our eggs during the 14 days before 'O'. FSH should be higher than LH hormone. It's only when you are about to 'O', LH hormone will increase to release the 'better or bigger' eggs.

For hormone imbalance, e.g.FSH is lower than your LH (hormone imbalance), it means that the egg may not be be fully mature, and yet the hi level of LH release it. This is a case when not so good egg gets fertilised which may lead to M/C.
 
Hi thewife,

So how do we know FSH is higher than LH? Is there anywhere we can measure for FSH or LH? Very chim...

Hee... thewife can be consultant liao...
 
Hi puppy2006,
by blood test, they can check your hormone level. I have PCOS due to such hormone imbalance, thats why i know.
 


Hi thewife "consultant",

Is that a special blood test? Will the normal blood test done during our normal health screening be able to tell??? If not, then what is the medical term called for this blood test?

Sorrie to ask so much... Just want to enrich my knowledge,... then can be "consultant" like u lor... :p

Experiences play an impt part in enriching our current knowledge... ;)
 
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