Support group - Miscarriages

[laura_yaya]

hello optimus prime!
seems u have programmes coming up!
for me, i have been paranoid and i took pregnancy test everyday to make sure the line is dark!
Update:

tdy breast dont feel that swollen, nipple still feel abit discomfort but nt as bad as yesterday. dunno whats wrong cos worry its a sympstom that it may not be that sucessful in the end. i am actually scared of looking forward to gynae visit this wed cos i am suppose to see more developement. i really do hope my pregnancy will work this time.

apart from the 'mental' part, i am having slightly cramp on and off.... really wonder at times what happening inside my body.

all of u planning for holiday. so nice!!

 

[su_yana]

Hi Ladies,
Just have some questions to ask.

I had my D&C on the 19th of Aug. About 4 weeks later I had my first menses(i assume). It was brown spotting for about a week. Mid thi month around 13 or 14 Sept I had my menses again. This time, it is a proper menses(blood flow). However, up till now, I do have bleeding. There was a day I had very light spotting and the next day stop completely. I thought my menses had ended. However after the next day, blood flowed again, stopped a day and today bleeding again.
Is this normal?

I am actually eager to try again as soon as possible.

 

[stefie2104]

Hi hi,

I am having milky thick discharge now, I guess my AF is reporting soon. My discharge seems thicker, maybe due to hormones.

Will go back to see my TCM doc after my mense clear. Hope he will give me green light soon, my gynae said can try after 1st AF

Hi Su_yana,

it is normal, my mense after my 1st M/C is 2 days heavy, then nothing last few days blood again then spotting. It is not the no. of days that matter, it is the volume.

Actually you can TTC already

Babydust to you

Hi Optimus Prime,

Babydust to you

Jia you

Hi Joanne,

If everything included, you may not have the choice of where to makan. But it is consider cheap

Cos my package already $300. Yours have 2 spa sessions and makan. Do rememeber the ferry taxes are not included inside the package. IIRC $26 each pax.

Enjoy your trip okay

 

[shiseru]

HI Su-Yana

After the D&C, you should have your first mense in 4-8 weeks but if it was spotting I heard the doctor said that is not consider menses.

Hello, how's everyone? I just came back from Hongkong, shop like siaoz, happy spending though inside still feels hollow but my colleague said i was smiling during my sleep so I guessed the trip helped me relaxed.

I went to pray at 黃大仙祠, I cried when i told my story to 佛祖, 觀音 & 黃大仙, I hope they heard me and bless us with healthy babies soon.

When we were shopping in Hongkong, there was this man carrying a baby boy walked past us and the baby SMILED at me and aww it made my heart melt ya know, the feeling was strong and felt warmth.


Anyway, I strongly suggest a trip becoz it really helped to relax your mind and body.

 

[lux]

Hi su...

I think is a case of mense go wonkers..I have brown muscus like discharge here and there.. but over the weekend I had mense like flow of blood which looks like my regular mense than suddenly today nothing!^It is so irritating! Most likely is hormones not regulating yet. If you notice any smell or pain do go the gynae immediately. Otherwise we just have to be patient and let the body tune itself again. If we go to the gynae they will just put us on contraceptive pills or something to force the body to tune. I reckon I let it straighten it out on it own because I was convince the 2 days flow was definetely menses. Regardless how short the cycle was.

OP.. me also.. thinking of trying ald!! =))Hope we'll all be in a successful MTB thread!

I went to see my TCM on Sunday and she said actually I am in pretty good health aside from my sinus allergy which is pretty much what she want to help stop it. Unofficailly she told me can go ahead and TTC as well. I am just awaiting for a proper AF before I proceed anyway. This is really taxing.

 

[sad_mi]

Shiseru
When the baby smiled at u, it may be gd sign...ur dream will come true soon !

Ling,
When I discharged from the hospital on the 2nd wk, the doctor said that the operation is a successful one n gave me some med n eventually spotting stopped 1 wk later.

Anyway, I just went to see another gynae on sat...though further examining results not out yet, she thinks that the spotting is due to infection when its painful when pressed on the lower tummy...Already so unlucky, I hope just infection n can recover soon after medication.

Did anyone hv sex on the 1st mth after D&C ? The gynae mentioned strictly no ...n may cause bleeding.

 

[shiseru]

Thank you mimi!!!! I am gonna start chasing after toddlers' butts from now, muahahaha... but hey thanks that was a nice thought and motivating comment, bless you too hun ^^

I dun have a D&C coz my placenta came out complete but we refrained from having sex the first month, or rather we waited for my first menses to return first. My menses returned 4 weeks after the M/C which I thought it will come much later given the fact it was a mid term pregnancy termination.

And to be honest, I dun have the mood to have sex after the incident, i just want to be left alone.

 

[stefie2104]

Hi mimi,

I BD 2 weeks after the procedure, my gynae said it is okay. But do use condom as the skin is very raw after the procedures.

Hths

 

[stefie2104]

Hi shiseru,

After prayers, everything will be okay already

Baby smile at you means good sign

can TTC liao. Babydust to you

Hi Lynn,

at least Pauline said can go ahead. Do relax and be positive okay. Babydust to you

 

[lux]

mimi,

I am glad you went to get a second opinion! When there is pain or smell in discharge you must go to a doc immediately. So far for me I have none and I have none and as such I didnt went to get a 2nd opinion.

Hope everything is well.. =)

I think BD is up to individual ba.. if you are up to it I think it is okay. I read in some forum that some of the europeans got pregnant 17 days after D and C ... so is really see if you are up for it. For me I stayed off for 1 month as both of us werent in the mood and I really fear infection.

 

[joanne03]

Hi gals
am going for the batam trip finally on coming wednesday..
Frankly speaking, already 4 wks coming to 5 wks, my af still not here ( think soon) and i also dont dare to bd with my hubby yet.. My gynea say can bd le but i still scare of infection.. But i know coming batam trip we sure bd since got atmosphere.. that will be after 5 wks by then.. Can anyone advise will that part still feel raw? Do i really need to use comdom? My hubby never use comdom on me sp far and i dun feel like it.. Can anyone advise can i bd since af not here yet.. I scare will feel pain?
Thks shiteru for ur advise on batam trip.. So nice of u.. Really looking forward to it.. but dh choose 750am ferry as he want to make use of the facility there since is free..think will doze off when massage.. Hee.. I spend total $369 on the package with all meals, beer, drinks and free use of the facility plus two massage...exclude the taxes..think wun hv further spend since wun go to the town.. How much did u spend include the meals everything?

Btw gals, after how long then u start drink cold water?can we hv a poll? I havent drink any but think will hv to break it on coming trip as thinking of drinking beer.. Hee.. Not sure whether ok? Finally can go for a trip..

 

[shiseru]

Joanne, may i ask if your first menses has returned after your D&C?

For those who had D&C amd is waiting for first menses to return, please consider using contraceptive. There are some useful info, please read

http://www.pregnancyloss.info/waitingforaf.htm

http://www.pregnancyloss.info/trying_again.htm

 

[joanne03]

Hi shiseru

nope.. My first af not here yet and is already after 5wks.. But my gynea say soon as i jus went to see kk gynea, he says lining is 13mm so menses shd come soon.. Oh no, sure bleed heavy as lining so thick.. Sianzzz to the extreme.. May i know why u asks whether my af is here? My gynea say i can exercise and bd as usual.. But he say better rest for 3 mths..

 

[laura_yaya]

joanne, dont worry ah. mine didnt came until abt 7th week. i read online that must see gynae if AF didnt come after 12weeks.

i did a mini confinement for a week plus. so didnt drink cold water for a week lor.

 

[shiseru]

Joanne becoz one can get pregnant before the first mense returned. And if that happens, it will not establish a reliable Last Menstrual Period date. There are some other complcations as well. You might wanna read more from http://www.pregnancyloss.info/trying_again.htm

My gynae from KK suggest is to at least wait for one cycle to complete before TTC, but BD yes we can do after 2 weeks so long we exercise contraceptive.

 

[lux]

Hi Jo,

Can check with you using the abdominal ultrasound scan they can see how thick your lining is or they need to do through vaginal scan? I got a kick like want to go to the gynae near my house and do..

For me I didnt drink cold water for 28 days... and was intending to keep it that way but due to work entertainment I broke my fast =((

 

[joanne03]

Hi ling
i did the ultrasound thru tummy.. To my surprise as i thot will be thru virginal..

Same like u, i may break fast very soon during my batam trip., hee., is already after 37days since my dnc.. Btw, can we drink beer? Hmm..

Hi yaya
thk u.. I am not worried at all due to i know my af coming sin e got mucus last week so i think my af will come next wk which os six week after dnc.. I hope it will come quick so another two mths can ttc liao..

 

[ppcc]

hi all...

long time no post.. glad to see everyone's so positive... me just back from my japan holiday.. fatter, poorer but much happier! Has been really rejuvenating.. getting away from the madness of work and the pain of the m/c, just enjoy quality time with hubby...

dunno abt ttc though... visted gynae the wk b4 my trip and doc detected a cyst on my ovary.. was quite a blow.. like the bad news never ends.. so gynae said i shld stay off ttc and monitor first... hope it will just go away, else it's hello operating theatre again...super sian... so now just leave it up to fate.. telling myself not to think of ttc now... if it's just fated to be just me and hubby.. then so be it... sigh.. just hv to convince my heart of hearts that this is really how i feel...

 

[dreamiez]

stefie2104: she never say go ahead wor. i'm suppose to go on a 1 year break before TTC wor.

 

[shiseru]

ppcc, I am sorry to hear that. Did your gynae say how long you need to wait before TTC?
By the way, is your menses regular coz i heard menses will be irregular if there is/are cyst.

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Lynn,

sorry I type wrongly. Do take all the time you need to build up your body.


Hi Ladies,
Feel quite lonely cos hubby very busy with work. He slept at 2 am these few nights, he worked on his laptop in our bedroom while watching TV. I can't sleep at all. He even threw temper at me while I accidently touch his mouse. Don't know what to do with him.......

Sometimes I do think that maybe we are not meant for each other, that explained my 2x miscarriage.

Today one of my siao siao mood

Maybe PMS

 

[shiseru]

*patz stefie

Your hubby is also upset about the lost, he is also trying to deal with his work, and he slept late. Your hubby is tired, stefie, I am sure he didn't mean to throw his temper at you.

Perhaps you should do something during the evening, maybe go out with friends, or join some activities. I thought you are on a course? You should have something to keep you occupy. I am fully occupied from Monday to Friday.

And the HK trip has really lifted my mood, I am happier and more energetic after I returned from the HK trip. You may want to plan a short trip with your close friend or colleague, coz it helps. Take one day at a time, hun... dun give yourself unnecessary pressure *Hugz

 

[lux]

ppcc, I am sure the cyst will disappear soon enough..

Lynn, seriously 1 year ....

Me with my grand dowager wanna visit dont wanna visit.. Arrrgghhh... Why is it so difficult for us?!!

Maybe is also God's way to tell us to hold off TTC while we recover our body. Really sickening at times.. We will get through this!

Stefie, he only threw a small temper .. no reason to think not meant to be together! MC happens because the babies just not ready for the world. God still need to nurture them.. Definetely not a sign not meant to be together.. My TCM also saying forget about everything negative.. just look forward.. the more you dwell the more upset you are...

It's one of those days I reckon. Those bad days~!

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Shiseru,

Thanks dear. He is stress by work, I hate it when he bring stress home. Cos he can be quick temper.

I am on course Tue and Thu evening 7-10pm, next friday exam liao, I am trying to study to keep myself busy. But nothing can go in at all.

Glad you have good trip

I also want to go Hong Kong.

Hi Ling,

It is one of PMS days. In mood roller-coaster now, all of sudden very happy, sad,want to cry and angry at the same time. I find myself very attracted to older man now, I am very attracted to my gynae, even he is old and so-so looking. Ha!! Ha!! Visit him makes me happy

Siao siao one right. Heng now no need to see him, if not I will have butterflies in my stomach. Maybe I need security, so I am more attracted to older man. Hope to be pregnant soon, so I can my Dr Hope

You AF will be coming soon, glad you are so positive

Babydust to you

 

[shiseru]

I also got a japanese mock test this Sunday!! But I have aerobic yesterday, belly dancing today guess I can start studying only tomorrow haha ^^

stefie your current mood's affecting you, that's why you cannot focus. Consider going to the gym and have a good sweat out, it helps ease the tension and you'll feel more relax after that.

It doesn't matter where you go, it's great to take a few days leave to enjoy, relax & heal. I really should plan for 1 more soon ^^

 

[lux]

Hi Stefie,

Think is our way of feeling the loss.. I never think it will meant so much before I got pregnant though. Now I understand.

Anyway just went to the toilet and goodness.. is like weekend again when the dowager done a surprise visit .. looks like dowager is here.. just hope it be normal because when it suddenly stop yesterday I thought she was playing peekaboo with me!

I am definetely going on a holiday soon although nothing is firm.. We probably going backpacking 2-3 weeks in China.. Everyone asking why china.. I just want to see old town in lijiang.. go to shangri la and navigate Dali.. Just to get away from everything here!

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Shiseru,

Thanks dear. Good luck in your mock exam

Am planning trip to Chiangmai mid dec

Will be going for facial after my exam on Friday

Hi Ling,

Yes, just my siao siao; Attracted to my gynae. Ha! ha! He is like my idol, unreachable

As long as the volume is normal, it can stop for 1 day then come again. Mine was heavy for 2 days then stop for 2 days then came back again till spotting. Now can start ttc already if you are ready

Babydust to you.

Lijiang is very beautiful, my hubby went last year, he stayed in little town. He visited yu long xue shan and took alot of beautiful photos. He has not enough time to go to Shangri-la and Dali.

We are also planning to go to Chiangmai with our Thai friend. Looking forward liao

 

[shiseru]

Great Ling, so your AF returned? When my 1st me menses returned after the M/C, I was overjoyed haha, guess women have a love/hate relationship with our menses T__T

 

[elxir]

hi ladies,
i have been so busy at work that i dont have time to post. With busy work schedule, it really helps in not thinking about the unhappy stuff.

Saw that many of us waiting for our next menses to come.... and ya, this is the first time after 2 yrs of trying that i m looking forward to it! if not cant ttc... ;p

babydust to all of us!

Hi ppcc,
hope everything will be fine and u can ttc soon. take care and stay positive.

Hi stefie,
Somehow men also have PMS leh... my hubby sometimes oso like that... sometimes i just chose to ignore him. hahaha.... and tell him since he pms, i shall avoid him. hahaha....

 

[lux]

Stefie,

I thought if it stop abruptly not even spotting it is not counted. Just a little relieve because after reading about asherman's syndrome etc.. Almost went crazy!

Now I will wait for next cycle .. just to see where I am at. I count back 28 days from Sat and it happen to be the 1st day where I had my 1 day mense thing during my travel. So I am guessing it should be accurate somewhat. Of course if really strike I would really appreciate it if I can carry it till full term. I have this fear... that I get preg too soon and if it fails my mum and hubby is sure to say "I told you so! "

Shiseru... I think it is the real deal finally.. I think is an indication we will be back to normalcy soon...

 

[stefie2104]

Hi elxir,

long time no see

Now like when we 1st have mense during our teenage years.

Thanks, just that now I more sensitive during my PMS time, so taking hubby's behaviour more seriously. It is really hard on him too. Tonight must make sure he sayang me.

Babydust to us too. Be positive, be happy, be brave. Hope to hear good news soon

Hi Ling,

Good, at least another big load off for you

No fear, be positive okay

Jia You

 

[mandyn]

Hi gals,

i have been busy with work after returning to office and as a silent reader on this thread.
Finally my menses come yesterday.

Hi Joanne,
i started to have cold drink after 3 wks D&C but not a lot.

Everyone,
Be happy and positive. We will hear the good news soon...

 

[joanne03]

Hi jjcc
hope u r feeling allright.. There still chance to conceive so think positive is very impt k..

Hi mandyn n ling
so happy for u gals that ur af is here already.. Am still hoping mine come fast but yet worry abt the inconvinence since i know it will be alot first time.. Sigh.. Hi mandyn, is urs heavy?
Hi gals
yes, a trip sure help but am too busy with work too.. Time really flies, it is already month end again and nov is coming soon.. Lets hope first three mth can pass fast fast so that can ttc at ease.. am so happy and look forward to my rest n relax batam trip tomorrow.. Especially the spa n massage..
but i know when i come back on friday to work, i sure crazy liao especially next week.. Zzzzzzz...busy like siao zha bo.. Now jus push back my piling up job.. Sianzzzz..

 

[elxir]

hi stefie,
ya i MIA a while cos busy at work but have been reading the postings just that i have no time reply.

well, sometimes need to "sai nai" a bit then men will show a bit of concern ba. haha... i m going bangkok for another trip on thurs. go pray pray, shop shop and relax. after this month of resting and relaxing, i have to work hard next few months cos dun have much annual leave to take le. hehe....

ladies,
i still experience slight spotting now and then, especially after bd. dunno is it still not fully recover in there and that's why got spotting....

and i have balance ovulation test kit so tried one few days back and it was positive... then just now read from http://www.pregnancyloss.info/trying_again.htm, then realised it is not reliable tool during that first cycle after a miscarriage. chey, waste my kit. LOL.

 

[dreamiez]

Ling, what thing seriously 1 year? that was what my gyane and pauline advised though.

my AV also siao siao. come earlier then predicted date it would come. is that a good thing or bad thing?

 

[shiseru]

Me too, i am supposed to be 28 days cycle but it came 3 days earlier crashing my BFP dreamz T__T

My menses wasn't this haywire before the M/C, 1st and 2nd menses came was based on 28 days cycle, this time round is 25 days cycle! T__T

 

[mandyn]

Hi Joanne,

My menses is quite heavy these 2 days, today is third day.

 

[dreamiez]

I think shorter cycle should be good?

I'm passing out clots though.. and nowadays menses cramps very unbearable. sigh

 

[shiseru]

Some of them may have shorter cycle, some longer, some heavy, some normal.

When I lost my baby at 20 weeks and my first menses returned, it was very heavy for the first 3 days, i need to change a new pad every 3 hours, the menses lasted a week.

It was heavy becoz firstly it was a mid term pregnancy termination and secondly during the 1 month confinment, my mum feed me with lotsa tonic.

 

[twinkle_33]

Hi Shiseru,

I lost my baby at 21 weeks due to infection. Was it hard for you to cope with the lost? I'm still struggling even after 5 weeks since it happened.

 

[shiseru]

Yeng, I am sorry to hear about your loss. It is hard to cope definitely coz we were already half way through the pregnancy, but we will heal slowly so take your time to grieve.

My baby was diagnosed with spina bifida. We seek a 2nd opinion and decided to end the pregnancy. It was our first pregnancy after 12 years of marriage, I cried everytime my baby kicked and punched in my womb as though she knew our decision. I was induced 5 times and took 18 hours to deliver my baby. The labour was painful and without rewards, I have no baby to carry home... We took a last look at our baby, a baby gal small but bigger than my palm so perfectly formed. She is our beautiful daughter and we will always love and remember her.

It has been 2 months+ since the incident. I haven't fully get over it, though the feeling is less chokey now. But I feel better after I returned from a short trip to Hongkong, the trip has really lifted my mood and I feel happier and more positive. I also try to keep myself busy with activities such as aerobic, belly dancing and japanese courses, I find myself laughing heartily during the belly dance class which is great coz I couldn't smile after the incident. And exercise is good since we need a healthy body to conceive again.

So make sure you got something to keep you occupied but feel free to share your story and experience here if that would make you feel better, losing a baby is a traumatic event, only those that have went through could understand the pain. All I can tell you is that you will get through this, and that it will bring you and your husband even closer together.

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Yeng,

Sorry to hear about your loss. It is not easy, but please be positive and brave. God closes 1 door, He will open more doors for you. Do cry if you need to, don't bottle up your feelings. Only time can heal the wound.

I had 2 m/c, 1st baby has no heartbeat at 12 weeks (2 years ago) and 2nd baby has no skull during my 11 weeks detailed scan (Oct-09), have to do dnc.

Do keep yourself busy as suggested by shiseru, it helps to move on. Do pop-by here to share your feelings here, ladies here are very nice and warm.

Be positive, we will have healthy babies in our arms to bring home

Take care

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Ladies,

I just ordered OPK and the 2 digit thermometer. Will start taking my temperature after my 1st AF, now waiting for my AF to come.

Jia you together

 

[chinlee]

Yeng
Hugs - do share your feelings..it helps. Cry as much as you need, it will get a bit better with time. It has been months for me - but I still tear a little bit every time I thk of the losses. But I must say that I get more optimistic that I will try for another baby sometime. Take care.

 

[lux]

Lynn,

I think the gynae and TCM wants you to be emotionally healed before you try again. I am sure your body is well.

Yeng,

So sorry you have to go through this. It is only 5 weeks so of course we are not back to normal yet. We have the rights to feel whatever our emotion evoke afterall it just wasnt right we do not get a baby at the end of the pregnancy. I cannot imagine Shiseru and your pain to be truthful because most of our loss at 3 months are already emotionally draining enough.

We are here as a support group so blah whatever you feel like and no one will judge you.

stefie, you bought the fertility monitor or just a BBT thermometer? You can start charting already just to see where you are at. Be prepared the BBT might be all over the place because for some the hormones are not regulate to zero yet.

 

[twinkle_33]

Shiseru / Stefie,

Thank you ...

This is my first pregnancy after 4 years of trying. Baby was doing fine from all the test we've gone thru. That morning hubby rushed me to hospital after I realized I have bleeding ...but doc told us it's too late for them to do anything when we get there. Took 15 hours for me to deliver our baby boy...he's was so perfect but yet too young for him to survive. Result came out that I had infection which the doc say it'll not likely to recur so not to worry for next pregnancy. Personally, I'm not sure whether can I conceive again ...I'm already 33. Will I need to wait 4 more years?

Will go for a short trip tomorrow ... hubby gave me green light to buy + eat whatever I want as long I'm happy. *So sweet of him* Hope I can come back feeling refreshed.

 

[twinkle_33]

Chin / Lynn,

I have problem crying these few days ...not because I've came out of the grieve but somehow I simply cannot cry. Maybe it's becos I've been crying most of the time since I lost my boy. Hubby keep saying if cannot take it must tell him ...but everything is so confusing to me and not sure if I can handle it well.

 

[shiseru]

Yeng, I am 35 years old.. I have not given up hope, so dun go give up hope on yourself.

Give yourself time to recover, have you done a good confinement? Lead a healthy lifestyle and eat a healthy diet, do some exercise, let our body be in best condition to conceive again soon.

When the desire of wanting a child is greater than the fear of losing another, that is when you are ready to try again, like us...

 

[stefie2104]

Hi Ling,

Thank you!! Yes, but I bought the strips cos cheaper mah. Bought 30 OPK and 3 Pregnancy Test strips. Need to be extra hard working on BD liao

Now I have been taking cherry tomato every morning, Multi-vits, 2x folic acid. Gearing up for TTC mood, will give full blast once my sinseh say can TTC.

Hi Yeng,

You are most welcome

Be positive, 33 still young. There is will, there is a way. I am 32 this year, we are still young

Btw after your delivery, you would be very fertile for 4 months, so chance of getting pregnant is very high. Did your gynae said when you can TTC?

Maybe you want to try TCM? It helps to bu and tiao your body before you TTC.

Have a good time with your hubby, a get away will help alot in healing

Good chance to bond with hubby.

Jia You

 

[twinkle_33]

Shiseru,

I've done one month confinement and trying to gain some phyical strength by taking s stroll in the park cos after the delivery I was very weak (due to lack of sleep as well). I was told during our last visit to gynae I'll be expecting my menses anytime but were advise to wait till dec. I'm anxious to try but think it's better to listen to my gynae's advise cos hubby worry as well.

Yes, you are right....I shouldn't give up.