Support group - Miscarriages

hi poppy, I try to eat brocolli and mushrooms... cos I didn't dare to eat too much veg also... veg like kai lan also ok...
besides those I mentioned just now....no bean sprout also....
1st 3 weeks boil the red date tea in the morning and put into a thermos flash and bring to work....now I boil at night before I go to sleep and put into the thermos.. the thermos is good... still hot until the next day evening... so good enuff for me... as for tonic soup... I throw everything into slow cooker before I sleep and put into thermos every morning and bring to work... after lunch I drink....in the beginning I still cook brown rice for lunch...now too tired... so just bring tonic soup can liao....cos I think I also need to rest.... so everything I use the most convienient way... slow cooker!
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now everyday I lug 2 thermos to work.. 1 big 1 small. :p
must try to eat healthily now.. and lots of ginger to remove the wind and also tonic to warm your body....
another thing you can do is go and buy good quality Dong Chong Cao and Lao Pao Shen (must be warm and bu one not the liang one).... mill into powder and mix 1 part dong chong cao with 2 part pao sheng...and make into capsules... take 2capsules every morning....but try to go to reputable medicinal hall or someone you know... in case they cheat you... but this is quite ex as Dong chong cao is rather ex......but it will be good as the capsules can last for a while...
I also feel tired... but I try to follow...cos I think my body really too weak liao... so I keep focusing on my thots for the next bb.. that motivated me alot....
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In the beginning will be tough.. but time will heal all wounds.. continue to have faith that you will have a healthy bb soon...
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yup elmo, in the starting period, it will be hard but as time passes by. i believe it will help to lessen our pain...


We shall have faith and be positive..
 
I am also using the slow cooker to cook the red dates drink daily. Actually the confinement food is very yummy. I have put on weight!!! Other people still thought I am pregnant due to my tummy!! very jialak, don't know how to shed away the excess weight... But I can't 'jian fei' now, must eat bu..

Elmo,
So you have 2 slow cooker ? one for red dates drink, another one for tonic soup ? I will be back to work next Monday. My mum ask me don't anyhow eat for lunch. Dinner she will prepare tonic soup for me.
Btw, what tonic soup do you prepare for lunch huh ? If not diff, I can prepare for myself too.
 
ok elmo, I get my hubby to help buy some broccoli. I like vege...so can't do without. How about meat? all meat also can is it?
I'm not exactly a tonic person...dunno what to put....Get hubby to help me..

Just made brown rice porridge for lunch earlier. I try to eat more heathily also.
 
hamasaki, yes... we must Jia you!!
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lala, yes... I have 2.. 1 big and 1 small....
but I prefer to boil the red date soup now cos using the slow cooker, the red date tea will turn out more thick... cos too long mah.... now I just boil and pour into the thermos at night...

I go for the easy one...
1) Fry ginger slices with sesame oil.... then add chicken pieces and mushroom.... stir fry...add martel... about 4-6 tablespoon... fry... add water... after boil.. pour into slow cooker....add salt for taste
2) Paoshen, gou qi zhi, dang shen, black chicken.... black dates/red date... with 1.5 bowl of water...
3) Dangshen, bei qi, black dates, gou qi zhi with black chicken or kampong chicken...
4) dang gui with gou qi zhi and black dates with chicken....
something like that... the soup part is quite easy.

Poppy, yes.... all meat also can.. but for tonic.. I normally use black chicken or kampong chicken...
 
Elmo,
I think I will go for option (2) to (4) becos it's very easy. All ingredients throw inside slow cooker & let it boil. Can I switch the slow cooker to LOW fire to boil until morning? I did this to my red dates drink too. It's 'thicker' to let it boil longer. I switch to LOW to make sure it's not overcooked.

Must we use those traditional kind of pot to double boil or 'dun(4)' the 'dang gui' ? or slow cooker is good enough ?..

I just prepared for myself 'cong cao'+'pao sheng'+'gou ju zhi' drink last nite. This morning make it warm to drink. They say drink with an empty stomach so that body can absorb better.

Even after my mini confinement, I will continue to bu myself once in awhile. Have to keep my womb 'warm' lah.. Must spend more $$ to buy all these chinese herbs..
 
lala, yes.. should be low...
slow cooker good enuff....
and dun take overnight stuff...like cook last night and let cool liao then warm... no no.... if you wan, use slow cooker to boil thru the night.....
yes, will be good to drink on empty stomach.... I also drink essence in the morning on empty stomach.....
good good.... ya, if body no good... now is a good time to bu back... will be better than normal.
actually I try to comfort myself by thinking that if my body is not strong... bb will not be strong either... so now it's like a good time to bu, as body can absorb better than normal...so maybe that's the reason why....
so dun let go... bu as much as you can...:p
 
Hi Ladies,

Been a little busy this week, so got lots to catch up..

Lala,

I was very sad to see your posting here, as i had hoped no more March MTBs join me here.. I had the same case as you, no heartbeat detected.. but mine was 3 weeks earlier.. before you join that thread.. i left liaoz.. i saw your posting.. Take care.. yes, if baby not good, no point holding on to the past and to it. Look forward and love your next baby as much.

Take care and drop us a note here when you are feeling in need of some company.

Bookworm,
I think you had the same gynae as me.. izzit Dr. Kowa of Mt. E? I was very upset with him.. I had some brown spotting and decided to see him in my 7th week to be sure. The first thing he said to me was: " I hope it is still there!". No MTB wants to hear this lor..

And although my sac was still there, there is still no heartbeat.. So, he tell me very matter of fact that i have to wash out and try again. Then tell me not to be discouraged as these always happen in early pregnancies and he hope to see me 3 months later. I waited very long to see him each time also..

When i asked for explanations on why this happened, he say no explanations. It makes it harder for me to accept this emotionally. I felt that he could have handled me better and reasssure me better.. I went for a second opinion and in the end, when it was confirmed, i never go back to him to do my D&C..

Now also not sure if i should still continue to see him.

Mei2,
Take care okie?? ting hua to the gals here and take some tonics to bu your body back..

Coral,
I know you veri anxious to try again, but must relac.. how about getting back into rythmn and re-connect with hubby again? Make full use of this period to rest and look forward!! Wo men yong yuan support you!

Lyn,
today i CD9 liaoz... hee hee.. i got EWCM leh.. very tempted to BD.. nearly considering "raping" my hubby last night.. but my hubby run off... kept yelling that we must wait 2 more months!!!
 
Hi Ladies, long time never log in. Now taking a short break from work. Cannot really catch up with the posts. Heh heh...

Hi Lala,saw yr posting in March MTB thread **hugz** do rest well.

Wah Jasmine, u can really tahan!
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me n hubby can't wait. No discipline. Hee hee...

Hi Missy how are you? Still having bad ms? My gynae says ginger tea or sweets help. Can try. My checkup last week was in fact more "zhun" than the 1st, so EDD remains the same.
 
Hey droopy,

No BD doesn't mean we never ML lah.. problem was, we ran out of condoms mah.. n hubby forgot to buy..

so had to abstain.. dun even dare to try withdrawal cos my O should be quite near..

:p
 
hi coral,
my 1st AF came 6 weeks after my d&c, 2nd one came 2weeks after that! fast hor! just finished my 2nd one, so one more cycle and can try already! but i won't try so early lah, will wait for my peak at work to be over soon, that's sometime in Nov. want to have a stress-free pregnancy!
so dun worry, 3 cycles will come and go before you know it.
so what have you been doing lately? going back to work soon i suppose?
 
Hello Gals...
Wow.. So many posts to read.
Today I went to "shi ma lu" temple to ask "guan yin" to help me to "an pai" if I gonna have a healthy and cute baby next year. I got a very good "qian"
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It states that I will have a baby gal next year with no worries. I just have to put my sorrows and grievances behind and my future will be a happy one
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Hi Cherry,
Try to stay positive
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Hi lala,
I also put on weight during my 3 weeks of daily "bu". I gained 1kg! heh... Now I start to "jian fei" already
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Hello bluebells,
How are you? I am feeling great
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Hi Jasmine,
hahaha... Your hubby scared of you ah... I gonna abstain next week already
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good morning gals! I have no chance to read back all the postings, hope everyone is good!

Lyn,my hubby got that same qian b4 we got preg with YX
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good luck!!

Today is a special day. It is the 2nd Angel day for my baby Jie. Jus like last year, I am calm. Not so much sadness but I miss him a lot. I went to the guan yin temple yesterdy to pray that he would be happy in angel's land.

folic
 
hi gals,

i had a bad scare yesterday, i was on mc coz of my bad ms. i was resting on the bed after lunch when i suddenly felt like peeing, went to the toilet, saw some brownish streaks discharge when i wiped. scared the hell out of me. luckily hb was at home, so i told him to send me to TMC fast. my gynae did a scan for me, luckily we saw our bb, grown quite a bit compared to my last scan, saw my bb's heart beating, what a relief! even saw bb moved a bit, hb even said he saw bb's legs, i told him can't be coz i'm only 8 weeks, still early. gynae searched for blood clots & bleeding, luckily didn't find any. so she suspects the brownish discharge might be from my urine. anyway, did a vaginal swab & urine test, will know the results in a few days time. can't imagine i'm only 8 weeks, but already seen my gynae 5 times liao! i'm now on progesterone pills again, hate the side effects of it.

hi droopy, my edd has changed again, its now 30/03/06
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hi lyn, good to hear that! remembered i told u gals before i also went to pray for a lot at the same temple, my lot also said i would be preggie. i'm sure yours will come true soon too!

hi folic, i'm sure bb Jie is in good hands in heaven.
 
hi folic, i believe Baby Jie is in Heaven watching over Ur family members and his new Baby Sis YX..


So how's YX now...

Take care
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Hi missy! Thank goodness things are ok! Your hubby is right.. shd be able to see the tiny hands and legs at 8 weeks
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I hate progesterone too but bear with it.. you will reach 12 weeks soon! Take care!

Hi hamasaki, thanks! YX is fine.. time really flies, she is almost 6 mths already. She is starting to take solid food and is always messy after each meal
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folic
 
Hi hamasaki, folic, missy,
Thank you.
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I just leave it to fate now
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but at the same time, "bu" my body really well. hee... I am going through a detox program at the moment
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The story behind the lot is about someone who lost his/her way while looking for the mother and finally found the mother.

Hi folic,
Jie will be happy seeing you happy
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Hi missy,
Take care and rest well
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Hi gals,

Missy, dun worry. It happened to me too & it turned out to be vaginal infection. But I can understand it is indeed scary! Now yr EDD is so close to mine. Hee hee!

Lyn, that's good! Yeah keep yourself really healthy n prepare for yr little one!
 
hi

I am in the midst of a natural miscarriage after 6 weeks pregnancy due to blighted ovum (no embryo forming in the sac). Does anyone have advice on how long it is likely to last and how soon after this my menses will come? I had spotting, then major blood and tissue flow yesterday but today lighter again. Any idea how long more it should last?

I didn't expect to feel this awful even though I know practically there was nothing I could have done since the embryo didn't even form. But in the short 1.5 weeks of knowing I was pregnant, I realised that I really was looking forward to being a mother. I even looked forward and prepared for all the symptoms of MS, sore breasts etc. When the symptoms started going away, I kind of knew that was it even though the gynae had not confirmed it.

I really didn't expect to feel this empty and lousy. To make it worse it is my birthday today and I was hoping to have wonderful news to tell my family and friends, instead of this huge emptiness inside now.

I am glad for this support group and am made very hopeful reading about the subsequent success stories of those others who went on to have happy healthy babies after the initial setbacks.

Thanks for any practical advice you can give me.
 
hi Z

so sad to welcome u here, i found out that i was preggy on my b'day itself (5.5weeks), but it last only 3 days...den i m/c le...too much bleeding..

after d/c, my bleeding last for 3weeks..some ppl last only 2 weeks, so is depends on individual..

do take good care, and 'bu' more ya!

jia you again!!! cheers
 
Hi Z,

I'm terribly sorry to hear such sad news. May you find comfort really soon! It's never pleasant to receive such news. I was devastated when the Dr couldn't detect my bb's heartbeat. I felt even worse when I saw a developed fetus on the ultrasound scan just before the d&c. So traumatised by it. Nonetheless, with time (mine happened 8 weeks ago), you will heal from this incident and move on. For the moment, do observe your menstrual flow for any tissue discharge, as well as the colour of the blood. If you suspect that your flow is heavier than normal, do consult a gynae to get it cleaned up. It's better to be safe than sorry. Afterall, there was once fetal tissue and you wouldn't want this to linger in your body. After your menses, do a mini-confinement, eat a healthy and nutritious diet but don't take the cooling and cold stuff. You may feel extremely weak and it's a good idea to take at least 1 week MC to ensure that your body rests well and recovers quickly.

Don't give up on ttc. I'm sure all of us here are 'working hard' at either making sure our bodies are in the best possible condition, or at tcc after 3-6 months of 'bu'. Take care, ok?
 
gardeline,

i hope that u will find all ur answers here...

u are very brave!!! i am realli impressed by ur courageous!!!

everyone here experienced same ending, but some has carried fwd to start a new beginning le...

jia you!!!

how old are u btw? any who are ur gynaes, can share with us?
 
I'm 26 this yr.

well, cant rem the first time which gyna i saw. Its at AMK and the gynae is a lady. nt recom. She kinda rough and worse still when i saw her and i saw tt my bb had heartbeat but she did nt test further.

i've seen Dr Loke at tampines. Recommended by my mum and friend. He's nice but thk he's nt someone u can talk to ba.

3rd time, seen dr k c Yeo fr TMC, he's dun talk and explain much. Went to see Dr Adrian Tan at TMC for 2nd opinion too, he's a nice gynae. Used to practise at KKH and heard he's v good.

Wat shd i do to prepare myself to conceive again? Do u thk i shd go bk to the same gynae??
 
Hi gardeline,

I had two m/c liao.

You seem to be changing gynaes. It takes a few consultation to get used to a gynae and the gynae to know you better. Gynae also can manage your next pregnancy better.

Have your hubby gone for a sperm analysis? Miscarriage could also be due to the quality of the sperms. Maybe you could find some answer.

There are many causes to miscarriage.

Take more "bu" and try to slim down... Rest for a few months first
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Lyn,

I think i will stick to one gynae ba. U hv any good recommendations? :p

Its already 3mths, is it too late to bu now?? Is it advisable to take folic acid daily? or wat kinda of bu shd i take nw?
 
Hi ladies, was staying at mum's place cos hb was overseas again so didn't log in for a while.

Gardeline and Z, welcome, but really don't wish to see more newcomers here with more sad stories, but we shall all jia you!

Lyn, nice to hear the good news, the first step to many more happy moments. Continue your jovial self and bu, soon you'll get what you wish.

Folic, I'll be going to guan yin temple tis Sat to pray for Kaden too. it's his first month. I hope he'll be like Jie, enjoying peace and joy in heaven.

My bleeding finally stopped last Sat. This Thurs will go to see gynae for review it's 4 weeks since Kaden left. Hope I'm recovering fine. I'll strat work the week after next.

Lyn, I feel the "heart drop" feelings too. That's why for the moment I avoid social gathering. Together with me, my hb's 2 other colleagues' wife also get preg., 1 giving birth soon and 1 in end of yr. Seeing their tummy makes me feel so sad. Well, got to learn to accept my fate. Still missing Kaden alot. Been wishing I can dream of him, but not anymore since I last dreamt of him in the hospital...
 
Hi Gardeline,

My gynae is at Gleneagles. He's good, but he's very very busy and got long queues one most of the time. Maybe you will not want to consider
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. If you dun mind.. let me know. It's better to stick to a gynae... cos then the gynae will know your case well and can take precautions the next time. My gynae told me if I get preggie, must go see him immediately... to take jabs to prevent miscarriage again...

It's never too late
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My gynae gave me this multi-vits. He said "bu" my womb one. I dunno how it "bu" la.. cos i never ask. My gynae also gave me 5mg folic acid
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I also take other health supplements. TTC should take folic acid.
 
Sorry to hear of your loss Gardeline. I already feel so crap after this one experience, I can only emphathise very deeply with you on yours.

Thanks for the advice jess and berrynice. I was told that if everything flows out properly, I wouldn't have to do a d&c. I'm hoping not to have to and can't wait to try to conceive again. There was no fetus in my case, so maybe no need. Gynae said can try after one cycle passed.

I've already eaten a lot of stuff that I shouldn't but perhaps will take into account what you said about eating right. Any specific things to avoid? I'm not very good about knowing what's 'liang' and not.
 
Hi Coral...

Hugs hugs
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You are the best
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You can move on to a better future
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Last Saturday, I went to TMC to see my hubby's friend. She just gave birth yesterday morning. In the morning when my hubby sms me to tell me she gave birth already... I felt a kind of sadness.. but after a while I am ok already
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. Then when I went to visit her, I felt so happy... her baby is so cute...

Then hubby's other colleagues all asking when I planning for one... ok la.. I dun blame them nor feel sad anymore. I used to feel sad when pple ask me... but not anymore
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Yeah! I succeeded in overcoming that
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If I can, so can you
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Hi Lyn,

Last time i used to think why such thing happen to me comparing to my peers around me who seems to have very smooth pregnancy. Even when gynae to tell me tt its very norm this days to miscarriage, i still refuse to believe him.

But after reading some of your experiences, i know i'm nt alone. Although, gynae have no answers to what is happening but then, i'm still feeling kinda depressed esp when i see my peers with their bbs... sobsob...

Actually, i was so disppointed and depressed tt i have nt even seen my gynae after my m/c in May. I chose to run away from reality but hide in my own world. I really dun knw wat can the gynae do for me or wat can i do for the gynae. Sighh..

Hi Coral,

Read ur posts, really felt sad for wat u have went thru. U're really a BRAVE woman, which i believe i will nt be able to handle.

I also thinking to pray for my 3 m/c.. can i juz go any temple to pray??
 
Hi Z,
Hope you will be able to stand up again
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We gotta try to move on
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Watermelon and caixin are "liang". Try to drink more red dates and dried longan drink.
 
Hi Z,

Both my HB and I are taking Pharmaton Capsules. I know that these capsules are for the elderly but we are taking it because of the ginseng content, plus the fact that it's made by a reputable Swiss company. I found that after taking it for about 2 weeks, I regained back about 90% of my stamina (approximately 4 weeks post-D&C). Do also take tang gui, which is touted to be the women's ginseng. If you find that the real ginseng is too expensive, you can use dang shen. I now boil a lot of herbal soups and add the dang gui and dang shen to 'bu' the body. Also, don't take soy products if you want to conceive soon -- its phytoestrogens have been found to be rather 'anti-sperm'. Hope this helps!
 
Hi gardeline,

Hugs hugs... Not everyone has smooth pregnancy. Not everyone who wants to get preggie will get it. When you look at your peers, it's just on the outside, but you never know the inside story.
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It is a norm to have miscarriage nowadays. Maybe it's due to stress and the environment we are in.

Try to think positive and act positive when you feel depress. Last time, I also feel depress when I see my peers with babies and also when my peers get preggie. I keep telling myself I should be happy for them. They got a gift from god, and I will get mine soon. Slowly, slowly, I dun feel so sad anymore. In the beginning, those happy news can get me very sad for few days, then the whole day.. but now.. only a few minutes
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It's better that you go and see your gynae. Better to have a review and make sure everything is clean and good inside. Sorry if I may sound harsh... One gotta face the reality. The longer you hide away from reality, the longer it will take to heal. It took me months to face reality though... Ur gynae can advice you and also do more tests for you. My last m/c in July. My one month review, my hubby went for a SA test. Then I seeing my gynae again in Oct
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Mean time, he gave me and hubby some supplements.

How do you want to pray? I just go to "shi ma lu" temple to pray for peace and health
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Thanks for the advice. I will avoid what you've mentioned.
Is it necessary to 'bu' if I do not go through d&c? My gynae said I could go on as per normal. I am even at work now. She didn't mention any foods I should take.
 
Hi Coral, I believe U can overcome it just like what Lyn, me and some other ladies have managed to overcome the sadness..

Jia you..
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Hi gals,
Today is my 1st day to work after resting for a week after D&C. I thought I can keep myself busy & not to think abt it again. Unfortunately I feel more sad as 2 of my colleagues are pregnant.. Their tummies are getting bigger & bigger..

I still make daily red dates drink to bring to office. Also I have started to take cordyceps with 'pao sheng' in alternate days. My bleeding has stopped. Now it's time for me to drink lots of tonic soup, continue to 'bu' as much as I can. Hope my menses will come in few weeks time.

I know I should move on & don't look back. But sometimes really can't help becos there are too many friends, relatives, colleagues getting pregnant.. envy all the preg ladies..esp when their BBs are born..so cute, so xing fu...

I will be seeing my gynae tomorrow to check my womb. Hope it's 'cleaned'..
 
Hi lala,

i can fully understand esp 1st of work. But then, muz be strong and cheerful if nt its gonna affect ur work greatly. For my m/c in May, my stupid company actually terminate me. I was so angry tt such cruel company still exist!!!!!!!! I even tot of going to MOM to complain but cant do as they act according to MOM laws.

Let's work hard together for our nxt preggie!!
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Lyn,

I really think u are a very positive and cheerful person. No wonder u call urself Happy Sunflower. Talking to me really makes me feel better.

I will go back to my gynae for a checkup. But is male gynae better compare to female? Any advice..
 
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