Support group - Miscarriages

[coralmarine]

Gardeline, why don't you try to choose one whom is convenient and also right price firs, then ask pple if they know about him, if no bad stories, give him a try then no good you switch.

For me, I think the next time I'll go to kkh for this doc cos he's more thorough and willing to discuss matters with me, also he knows about my history.

I ever consulted this doc in SGH for my bb's problem and found him quite good. Cos during my first visit he gave his handphone no. and told me although I'm just going to him for second opinion, I'm his patient I can call him anytime to check on matters and also he told me his perspective and stand. Can be costly to keep trying diff gynae but no choice if don't meet good ones the first time. What I can say is, once not comfortable don't go back again. Among all those whom you tried, anyone you feel ok to go back to?

We're looking at priv. Hb wanted landed, but I prefer condo or apartment with at leastr a small pool. Cos I feel it's more convenient to bring kids to play water or go playground. Hehe, I think far though I still hv no children.

So now we saw an apratment(not full facility condo) with a small pool and playground, which fits my criteria, think of buying, but I'm also thinking of hb's wish to hv a landed property. So wondering if we should buy or not. Cos we definitely not rich enough to hv a landed with pool, so I think gonna be boring for kids or inconvenient to bring them to club just to swim...

 

[hamasaki]

Coral, glad to hear that the problem between u and ur in-laws side have been solved..


Think u better talk things out with ur hubby soon and discussed well abt the housings that u will be getting.. Hope u can make a decision soon in whether to get landed property or just a private home..

 

[happysunflower]

Hello Gals!

I feel my energy being drained by the super active kids...

I have been quite busy lately. Contractors doing rectification work, teaching, etc. Everytime on the train, I will be busy on the phone or sms-ing.

......To be continued......

 

[gardeline]

Hello Lyn..

hmm.. Wat u working as huh..??

 

[gardeline]

MOrning Ladies..!!!

TGIF...

 

[gardeline]

Coral,

Personally, i perfer apartment or condo cause landed usually hv more problems with crawling insects. I heard my aunt place once got snake leh... so scary..!!!

 

[coralmarine]

I'm relieved. Met the bankers and the housing agent at home this morning. Committed to the apartment. Good buy or not, I'm not sure, just know I'm so relieve now. Hb can't stand seeing me so stress working on these so last night he say go ahead. I'm just happy to close the chapter...or is it the opening of a new one?
Well, next week I'll be back to work. Not looking forward, but know I have to.
Lyn, lyn, you're really busy, I can sorta emphatise with that. These few days I'm also getting pple to repair my oven and maintain jacuzzi and being middleman to hb and agents is a chore. Always negotiating with each party...Glad it's over for me now.
Tomorrow will be going to temples to pray for Kaden and sunday also a ritual for him. Miss him.

 

[happysunflower]

Hello hello gals...

Haha... Last nite went swimming and jacuzzi with a friend. Tot will come back then continue the reply. hee... Then my hubby kena drunk by his colleagues, so last nite no time to continue.

Now also not much time.. keke... Another busy day for me. Contractors just went back. Coming back again

cos the root of the problem cannot be solved

. K I gotta go out liao. Tonite got guests coming to my house for dinner

.

hee.. Coral... I think dealing with contractors very "mafan" and waste my time. Cos I will be prisoned in the house to watch the Bangala do the work. Then explain to them, they also dun understand what I want. haha... I getting a bit impatient lately to talk and explain to them what I want.

Hamasaki,
Dun anyhow think think hor... kekeke... Try to keep yourself occupied with other things

. What about going for courses, or finding something to do? You want to find a job? Or get something to do instead of staying at home

. haha.. I enjoyed teaching the kids... so cute...

Coral,
Actually now I fancy staying in first floor in condo with pool view. I see the kids downstairs enjoying so much. It's like the pool is just outside their door step. Just get changed and run in and out of their home. Then some have breakfast by the pool. So nice... But the downside is cockroaches... kekeke... I went to a new development to see see a few months ago. That time I was imagining, if I got kids, I will buy first floor, unit by the pool.

Gardeline,
Go to a gynae which you are comfortable with.

 

[gardeline]

Lyn,

unit by the pool also dangerous. u see few mths ago, quite a number or kids drown in pools leh.. touchwood.

I'm thinking whether TMC or KKH now loh. i very problematic hor..

 

[confusedgal]

Hello gals - so sorry for the late reply.

Hamasaki - hey! Dont hu2 si1 luan4 xiang3 yeah! Try to relax yourself n i agree with the gals here, try to find something to do (eg : sports or attending course) and must think positive n all the gd ones

Gardeline n jess - okie thanks

u gals too can made it. jia you n Baby dust to u gals

Coral - Hee! i very powerful hor!

No lah cos i postive mah (people tell me that will be very fertile after D&C. And i couldnt believe it cos i was thinking so sad liao n will affect my body n how to be fertile) i already cry b4 n few days after my D&C n no tears liao. Then i tell myself its time for me to stand up n try again

That's y i always tell u gals to be happy n positive n can make it very soon.

To be frank with u gals, i m more stress then u gals but i always tell myself that i must be happy

 

[confusedgal]

Coral - i very angry when i read abt the attitude of your gynae. he's very irresponsible

dont go back to him liao. i think most gynae will do the scanning 2 weeks after your D&C to make sure your uterus /womb has shrink. Do u want to change to my gynae? Although he is a bit ex but very patient n experience.

Now u have bought the hse. Now u can divert your attention to the hse. Dont think of the past n look forward to your new hse

 

[hamasaki]

Its Friday today...


but feel so sian today, cos going to meet MIL later.. Dread seeing her....

 

[coralmarine]

Lyn, you entertaining at home ah? Wow, must be good cook else wont invite pple home to makan. Yummy. Enjoy your "party" at home. Hmmm, pool side units convenient, but can be noisy lor, so we wont consider. Now, I on grd flr too, sometimes, pple walk past can look in so feel not as private leh. Now we bought the penthouse, so agent say we very extreme. But now we think staying on higer flrs gotta hv window grills and grills to balcony if we plan to hv kids else dangerous. Gardeline, I don't think poolside dangerous lah, I'm sure mummy will be watching if kids going swimming. Even if stay upper flr, kids will go swimming too.
Gardeline, you're not troublesome. It's not easy to find a good gynae or hospital lor. But be sure not to compromise on your comfort level.
confused, thanks for your offer. Already made appointment to see the gynae whom I'm comfortable with, saw that earlier gynae out of no choice at that time, now he discharged me, I can officially switch to another gynae.

 

[gardeline]

Coral, wow... my dream is always to get a penthouse unit. working towards my dream too. So u going bk to see ur gynae at geneagles huh?

 

[gardeline]

Hamasaki, dun fret abt ur mil. wait till i tell u abt my mil, she also very telok one loh. in short, when i had my m/c she did nt bu for me loh. not at all. sighh... got one time she cook birdnest and only for her and her precious daughter, din even offer me. anyway, my mum say better depend on ourselves.

 

[hamasaki]

Hi Lyn and confused, thanks so much for the concern..

 

[hamasaki]

Hi Gardenline, I dun like to see my MIL.. seeing her makes me pei chep and at times, make me so sad and angry that I burst into tears in front of hubby..

 

[coralmarine]

Gardeline, I'll be seeing the gynae in KKH, he's one of those in the team who helped to investigate Kaden's case. During the process we found him and his team of nurses more willing to share and more caring, so decide to see him. Ours is only aprtment status so not those big penthse.

Poor hamasaki. can avoid then don meet too often lor. Or just let her be and remember hb loves you so you ren3 his mum bcos you love him. Like parents, we don't really hv much of a choice on PIL, so if we love their sons just gotta ren3. Don't let her affect you or your relationship with hb. K?

 

[hamasaki]

hi coral, how I wish I do not need to see them often, But can't,as she had state a rule that we must go over to her plc for dinner every wk..

AT times, its more than 3 days of seeing and meeting her for lunch, dinner and shopping.. Wow seh..

at a few occasions, she does not respect me and hubby.. She shoot her mouth abt babies often, stressing and freaking me out... many many things that she pissed me off...
can't stand her..

 

[coralmarine]

you poor poor thing. I prob wont be able to understand your problem. I only had a little taste of it during wedding preparations. But after tat MIL start to treat me better and better. Only issue is her being very pandang and mi2 xin4. But good thing hb has been staying on his own since many yrs ago so not so MIL doesnt hv so much say in how hb and I behave. Moreover, she generally nice person. Your MIL sounds like a very strict and fierce lady.
Just ignore her, if she see you getting angry or upset, she may feel happier and disturb you more often.

 

[hamasaki]

hi coral,

its ok.. Saying out makes me feel better.. U're so lucky to have such fortunate in-laws.. At least, u will be a much happier person..


I had depression be4, partly due to her and my m/c.. Which i hope it will not come back again..
Really can't stand many many things abt her.. Becos of her, I had quarrels with hubby a few times..

 

[coralmarine]

No, no. Don quarrel with hb. That's the biggest mistake. Tell hb how you feel. Let him know your reasons for being unhappy with his mum. Even if he can't help you, think of why he can't (cos no matter what he's the son, he loves you but he also can betray his mum). But don't vent your frustrations and ager on him, else you'll be on the losing end.
During wedding preparation, I used to cry alot and vent my agner on hb bcos of his mum. In the end I found myself getting more unhappy cos hb end up angry and upset too. Then I realise I talk nicely to hb, he'll console me and say nice things to me and say how he appreciates me tolerating his mum's requests. In the end, it makes me feel it's more worthwhile to ren her requests.No matter how nasty she is, your hb has to respect her lor, cos his her son and no matter what she brought him up. So when I think of this I'll not blame hb even if he can't defy all her wishes. But no matter what happen, you and hb must stay as one.Support each other. Let hb be your strength. I'm sure hb appreciates your effort to tolerate your MIL. He's also caught in a diff position.

 

[coralmarine]

hamasaki, please don fall into depression bcos of MIL. Come in here to pour out your sorrows. I realise talking abt problems make things alot bearable. Don let her take away your happiness, not worth it.Think for yourself.

 

[gardeline]

Hamasaki-dun think too much, for wat u know, maybe the meeting might be a good one tonite. Life is always full of hope..

being unhappy will oni spoil ur r/s with ur hb. like my hb, he also dun like me to comment too much esp tt his mum.

 

[hamasaki]

thanks so much Coral for all ur support, encouragement and advices..

I had tolerate her since be4 wedding up till now.. Many times, i give in and kept quiet till I couldn't bear her anymore and told hubby abt it.. At times, he console me while at times, he make me even further upset..
I did not blame him for protecting his mum, but I juz find it so sickening that his mum done such things..

 

[hamasaki]

hi coral and Gardeline, thank you gals..

AT times, i really hope that she died.. (which i find that its rather quite mean but that's the only way to solve everything)..
My mum at times, also buan tahan of what she said or done.. SO many pple dislike her..

 

[confusedgal]

Hamasaki - u feeling better liao mah? imagine that u going to see your friend today then u wont feel so sian liao

i more sian when i go back to my hubby hse every nite.

Coral - Glad that you have found a gynae u comfortable with.

 

[gardeline]

ya, i also now staying @ in-laws place. heng ah, moving out soon.

Hamasaki-chEEr up..!! no pt feeling so upset, ur mil wont know and it wont make u feel any better.

 

[hamasaki]

hi confused, guess it take a while more to go be4 I will feel better..
(heheheheh) maybe after tonight, then feel okay..

 

[hamasaki]

hi Gardeline, yah lor.. she wun know it..

There are times I guess she know it.. Either hubby told her how I feel or I show my black face and talk back..

 

[coralmarine]

Hanasaki, guess the only help we can provide is listening ears.You must bbe strong, don think so much abt her, else headache again. Tonite focus on the food. Be happy.

 

[hamasaki]

thanks thanks coral... will try to think of other things...


Hope tonight she will not say anything more to affect my mood and appetite..

 

[gardeline]

hamasaki-juz treat her transparent..!! dun take her remarks too hard. Be happy.

 

[hamasaki]

thanks, both u and coral are so sweet and nice.. Here's a rose

for both ...

 

[gardeline]

thanks hamasaki. remember dont frown, smile more.

 

[hamasaki]

will try try ..

will smile to everyone but not MIL... (hahahaha)..

 

[happysunflower]

Hi Confused,
Everyone goes through different types of stress. Be it more or less, it's part and parcel of life.

Stress in one thing may be less stress in others, so I think stress cannot be measured and compared. Take care.

Hi Gardeline,
I think the first thing is to look for a gynae whom you are comfortable with. Then decide on the hospital

. I will stick with Gleneagles since my gynae is there

Hi Hamasaki,
Try not to think the negative side of interacting with MIL

. The more negative you think, the more "pek chek" you will get when you sees her... She might be doing things not according to your liking mah... Chin chai la... Then whatever she says, just "ok ok ok", nod nod nod

. Hee... My MIL got lots of ideas and views too.. I just go "ok ok ok" and nod nod nod.. kekeke.. If I like the idea, I will remember and do, if not, forgot already... Afterall, she's your hubby's mother.

Like that will be happier

Hi Coral,
Good that your gynae at KKH has discharged you

. I wish my gynae at KKH discharged me in my last visit. Now if I go back KKH, gotta see a MO already.

 

[happysunflower]

Hope you gals are having a great weekend!

 

[hamasaki]

hi Lyn,

how I wish I can be like you, take things so happily and lightly..


I had tried my best not to think of the negative side, but whenever I had almost reaches the end, she delivered another set-back to me..

... Really can't stand her...


Now, me no longer treats her as my MI,

hehehehe in my heart.. Try my best not to call her if I can... (hahahahha).. I feel better in that way...

 

[happysunflower]

Hi hamasaki,
I have got a book on "Miracles do happen". It's about a woman who had tried to conceive for 10 years and finally strike. She did a lot of research and change her lifestyle a little to be able to conceive. If you want the book, let me know, I can send to you via email. It's in pdf.

It may help you

.

Try to relax and think of the solutions to problems, instead of what are the past problems.

 

[hamasaki]

hi lyn, thanks thanks for the advice..

.. U're my saviour...


Me kept on thinking on what type of methods tat might be useful, to solve those matters, but each time I tried, think its a failure, for she can't get into her back of her head..

.. She is bound to repeat the same thing after a while..

 

[gardeline]

Good morning Ladies...

Hamasaki-hope ur dinner turn out good last fri.

 

[coralmarine]

Gdmorning ladies. First day back at work. Phew! Lots of changes. Not 2 but 3 resigned from my dept. Lots to catch up. But will still come in whenever I can. Good way to destress.
hamasaki, cherr up k? We need to be cheerful like Lyn. I'm sure it didn't just come for her easily too, she put in effort, so we have to. Last night I was overwhelm by depression and wanted to cry, but then I told myself hb loves me and will be sad if he sees me cry, and since I love him alot too, I try my best to think about the two of us then I divert my attention from my own depression. We all try our best. K?

 

[hamasaki]

Gd Afternoon ladies...
Hope today is a sunshine day for all...

 

[hamasaki]

so much to Coral and Gardeline..

Will try my best to overcome it.. Jia you..

 

[gardeline]

hamasaki-Jia You..!!

 

[hamasaki]

sooo quiet today...

 

[gardeline]

hamasaki-ya everyone busy @ work i guess. hw's ur day..??

 

[coralmarine]

Busy busy day for me. Lots to catch up. One month away and 300+ emails to read thru.
Need to map out my priorities for the rest of the year...So much time lost.

hamasaki, hope you had a good weekend and keep smiling! I promise myself more positive thinking. I'll do it so must you. Lyn is our best motivator.

Today I receive a lovely bouquet from boss the wrapper is a nice flora print cloth. Makes my day! I love all things beautiful. So must make sure my thoughts are beautiful too.

 

[coralmarine]

Btw, does anyone know if it's normal to have spotting one week after my bleedin has stopped? Am I confusing you? I bleed for 3weeks it stopped for one week, then today start to spot again...Is it normal?