Support group - Miscarriages
- Thread starter linda
- Start date
confusedgal
New Member
hi coral - so sorry n sad to hear that. i cry when i read your posting. Please take care n rest well. Remember to bu your health.
Hi Coral, I have been thinking of you and now you post. Its gd to know that you and your family were able to see Kaden and bid him farewell. He is in a better place, with the other angels that left us. He is soooo very special, did not even give his mama and papa to go thru the tough decision. Good boy! He is great and he will be in my prays.
Take care and God Bless!
Take care and God Bless!
miracle_bb
Member
Hi Coral,
My heart goes out to you and your family. Like what the rest say, your bb very good, don wan mummy to make the painful decision. You did a good closure by holding him in your arms. Some ppl did not do that and tend to regret months later. Anyway he is in good hands now, join the Boy Band with my sons in heaven. They will take good care of him. Have a good confinement and dun dwell too much on the past now. Take care!
My heart goes out to you and your family. Like what the rest say, your bb very good, don wan mummy to make the painful decision. You did a good closure by holding him in your arms. Some ppl did not do that and tend to regret months later. Anyway he is in good hands now, join the Boy Band with my sons in heaven. They will take good care of him. Have a good confinement and dun dwell too much on the past now. Take care!
Dear Coral, i'm sorry for what u went through, my heart goes out to u & your family. i'm feel very sad & at the same time relieved for u. sad that u have to go through this painful ordeal of losing Kaden & relieved to know that bb Kaden had chose to leave instead of u making the painful decision. he's a truely brave boy, i'm sure he's in good hands in heaven. pls take good care. stay strong
droopy_eyes
New Member
Dear Coral, I am so sorry to hear abt your loss but glad that Kaden had decided to make the decision for u and yr hubby. Do rest well for now.
droopy_eyes
New Member
Lyn, you are so cute! Thks!
Thks ladies, I will stay positive, like confused, always cheerful & positive - my "ou3 xiang4"!
Odie, yr bb very cute
Thks ladies, I will stay positive, like confused, always cheerful & positive - my "ou3 xiang4"!
Odie, yr bb very cute
droopy_eyes
New Member
Missy, glad to hear things are going smooth. I also have yellowish (sometimes a bit greenish) discharge but not sticky, more watery. I'm going to ask my gynae tomorrow abt it also. I can understand how u feel, I also feel paranoid with any twitch or cramp at my abdomen area. Now I'm having backache, dunno if it's my sitting posture in the office.
droopy_eyes
New Member
gals, include me in yr MSN, but be patient wif me, I am very new. [email protected]
coralmarine
Active Member
Hi ladies,
Thank you for your kind words. The night I lost Kaden I dreamt of this chubby boy who said he'll take good care of bb Kaden. And there's lots of kids playing in that place. They were making their own pizza and running about. I really pray that our children are in good hands. Yes, Kaden is so sweet to us. We feel both relieved and sad to lose a sensible boy like him. Still trying to cope with this. Kaden looks so much like hubby, whenever I see hb I think of him. I don't know how to put it, but it's a very difficult emotion to control. I want to move on, but I can't. At times I open my mouth to speak but end up crying uncontrollably. Now, with my breast lactating, I'm wondering if my boy is hungry without milk.
May I ask if any of you had ever taken medication to stop lactating? I'm worried if I take this time round, I'll not be able to breast feed in future...Any advice?
Thank you for your kind words. The night I lost Kaden I dreamt of this chubby boy who said he'll take good care of bb Kaden. And there's lots of kids playing in that place. They were making their own pizza and running about. I really pray that our children are in good hands. Yes, Kaden is so sweet to us. We feel both relieved and sad to lose a sensible boy like him. Still trying to cope with this. Kaden looks so much like hubby, whenever I see hb I think of him. I don't know how to put it, but it's a very difficult emotion to control. I want to move on, but I can't. At times I open my mouth to speak but end up crying uncontrollably. Now, with my breast lactating, I'm wondering if my boy is hungry without milk.
May I ask if any of you had ever taken medication to stop lactating? I'm worried if I take this time round, I'll not be able to breast feed in future...Any advice?
oceans
Well-Known Member
Oh Carol
i felt so sad
and yet happy for u.... It is a mixed feeling, sad that Kaden had chosen to leave u, but happy for u that u din have to make the decision.
My hubby n i used to think that should we required to terminate a pregnancy, we will jus go ahead, rather than making my bb suffer in future. But after one loss and one high risk pregnancy, my thoughts had change. I know like you, I would not be able to bring myself for a termination despte that it is actually good for both parties!
Give yourself sometimes to grieve... and about your deam, i think Kaden is telling you that he is in good hands. Yes, he is really a sweet boy.... sorry, i just felt so emotional. Coral, pls take care of yourself and also asked ur hubby to take care of himself too.
For lactation, if u dun express or ignore the pain for 2days, the milk ss will drop. No need to take medicine, just that it might be abit painful for u!
My hubby n i used to think that should we required to terminate a pregnancy, we will jus go ahead, rather than making my bb suffer in future. But after one loss and one high risk pregnancy, my thoughts had change. I know like you, I would not be able to bring myself for a termination despte that it is actually good for both parties!
Give yourself sometimes to grieve... and about your deam, i think Kaden is telling you that he is in good hands. Yes, he is really a sweet boy.... sorry, i just felt so emotional. Coral, pls take care of yourself and also asked ur hubby to take care of himself too.
For lactation, if u dun express or ignore the pain for 2days, the milk ss will drop. No need to take medicine, just that it might be abit painful for u!
confusedgal
New Member
Morning gals
Droopy - yo! i so paiseh leh, u ou3 xiang4 me ah!
Actualy i went through a lots of up n down after marriage(i used to think alot abt the past n regretted n blame myself y my ming4 so bitter after marriage, must well dont get married)
Friends n family member console me telling me that life still have to goes on n that's y now i become cheerful n positive gal
When i know that i'm pregnant again i've no confidence n told nurse that if fail i dont want liao, nurse told me i shouldnt think tis way. People mc so many times didnt give up n y should u give up. After hearing them, i say yahor! try until i have n dont lose hope. (nevermind i fall down, i stand up againn never be afraid to fall) very funny i' always console people but when come to my own problem, i'm stuck. Luckily i met people with kind soul n give me advise.
talking abt discharge, i oso having discharge leh. I ask gynae n he say ok. so long its not bleed it shouldnt be a problem. Also gynae told me try not to take herbal during 1st tri.
Droopy - yo! i so paiseh leh, u ou3 xiang4 me ah!
Friends n family member console me telling me that life still have to goes on n that's y now i become cheerful n positive gal
talking abt discharge, i oso having discharge leh. I ask gynae n he say ok. so long its not bleed it shouldnt be a problem. Also gynae told me try not to take herbal during 1st tri.
bellybutton
Member
hi coral..
i know you are feeling very sad now...*big hugz* to you.. i know how it feels. take your time to grieve.. time perhaps may help a little but you will never forget.. for now, just cry your heart out whenever you feel like it, or come to this thread to pour out your sorrows. it helps. i read somewhere that all babies go to heaven. cos they are born pure at heart, so there's no sin yet in their lives to prevent them from entering heaven's gates. i'm sure all our babies are there now and probably having a great time playing with one another. how's your hubby coping btw?
sigh, after 2 months, i thought i had completely healed, until i saw a girlfren today at a wedding reception who brought her 2 month-old baby along. suddenly, all the memories of my baby just flooded my mind.. if my baby is healthy, i'd be due in 2 months.. and i just couldn't bring myself to talk about it when my girlfren asked about what happened.
i guess we all have to find a proper closure to this unhappy chapter in our lives. but i'm glad for you that you had the chance to hold kayden in your arms and take a good look at him. they all say it'd be easier to find a closure after tat. for me, i din have the courage to look at my baby, and like java said, there is still a tinge of regret in me wishing that i had held her in my arms and not deprive her of the chance to feel the warmth of her mommy's embrace...
your gynae didn't give you medication to stop engorgement? if he or she did, then you should just take the medicine. dun think the medication will affect future supply. i took mine immediately after the d&c for 2 days. din have any engorgement pain, but it took about 2 months for the milk supply to completely dry up.
i know you are feeling very sad now...*big hugz* to you.. i know how it feels. take your time to grieve.. time perhaps may help a little but you will never forget.. for now, just cry your heart out whenever you feel like it, or come to this thread to pour out your sorrows. it helps. i read somewhere that all babies go to heaven. cos they are born pure at heart, so there's no sin yet in their lives to prevent them from entering heaven's gates. i'm sure all our babies are there now and probably having a great time playing with one another. how's your hubby coping btw?
sigh, after 2 months, i thought i had completely healed, until i saw a girlfren today at a wedding reception who brought her 2 month-old baby along. suddenly, all the memories of my baby just flooded my mind.. if my baby is healthy, i'd be due in 2 months.. and i just couldn't bring myself to talk about it when my girlfren asked about what happened.
i guess we all have to find a proper closure to this unhappy chapter in our lives. but i'm glad for you that you had the chance to hold kayden in your arms and take a good look at him. they all say it'd be easier to find a closure after tat. for me, i din have the courage to look at my baby, and like java said, there is still a tinge of regret in me wishing that i had held her in my arms and not deprive her of the chance to feel the warmth of her mommy's embrace...
your gynae didn't give you medication to stop engorgement? if he or she did, then you should just take the medicine. dun think the medication will affect future supply. i took mine immediately after the d&c for 2 days. din have any engorgement pain, but it took about 2 months for the milk supply to completely dry up.
droopy_eyes
New Member
Dear Coral, Hugz...do talk about how you are feeling to yr hubby & make him talk as well, it may help in the healing process. My gynae gave me medicine to stop the engorgement as well coz really very painful.
droopy_eyes
New Member
Hello Gals,
Confused, yeah u are right, fall down must stand up again. As the chinese saying goes "Fall down at a place, must stand up at the same place" or something like that. Hee Hee!!
Ok, updating u gals on my checkup, can see the sac, too early to see bb though. Next appointment in 2 weeks time. My gynae makes me feel so touched today. When she knows I tested +ve, her face brightens up & she said "I am so happy for you". Then she said she is going to be kiasu n watch me very closely. I know she is trying to give me the confidence I need very badly. Yeah the discharge is normal as long as not brownish or reddish.
Joyce & Hamasaki, I have added u gals!
Confused, yeah u are right, fall down must stand up again. As the chinese saying goes "Fall down at a place, must stand up at the same place" or something like that. Hee Hee!!
Ok, updating u gals on my checkup, can see the sac, too early to see bb though. Next appointment in 2 weeks time. My gynae makes me feel so touched today. When she knows I tested +ve, her face brightens up & she said "I am so happy for you". Then she said she is going to be kiasu n watch me very closely. I know she is trying to give me the confidence I need very badly. Yeah the discharge is normal as long as not brownish or reddish.
Joyce & Hamasaki, I have added u gals!
coralmarine
Active Member
Took the med today. Hopefully it'll subside soon. Now breast feel like so sore.
Hb was saying I'm stronger than him. I did not cry when Kaden was with us, but he just can't control. But now it's my turn. He's very supportive and keep repeating to me that Kaden is doning better now and also it's his choice and maybe very soon he'll come back to be our son with a healthy body. Luckily I have him around or else...
Hb was saying I'm stronger than him. I did not cry when Kaden was with us, but he just can't control. But now it's my turn. He's very supportive and keep repeating to me that Kaden is doning better now and also it's his choice and maybe very soon he'll come back to be our son with a healthy body. Luckily I have him around or else...
aprilpinky
New Member
Coral,
Be strong and take good care of urself. All of us from Nov05 MTBs thread hope to see u well and trying for another one soon.
Take time to grieve and yes, b4 u know it, you will have a healthy bb and many more in your arms!
Be strong and take good care of urself. All of us from Nov05 MTBs thread hope to see u well and trying for another one soon.
Take time to grieve and yes, b4 u know it, you will have a healthy bb and many more in your arms!
O
onester
Guest
Coral,
Pray that you are holding up fine.
Kaden has such a sensitive spirit to feel the pain for mum and has made the choice for his mum. I am sure he is in good hands.
Hope that take care and your hubby will take care too...
Pray that you are holding up fine.
Kaden has such a sensitive spirit to feel the pain for mum and has made the choice for his mum. I am sure he is in good hands.
Hope that take care and your hubby will take care too...
droopy_eyes
New Member
Good Morning Ladies,
Dear Coral, it shld subside very soon. Yes, you will definitely be blessed with a healthy baby, everyone of us here will too. Meanwhile do rest & eat well.
Thks Hamasaki! Yep hope to chat with u soon.
Dear Coral, it shld subside very soon. Yes, you will definitely be blessed with a healthy baby, everyone of us here will too. Meanwhile do rest & eat well.
Thks Hamasaki! Yep hope to chat with u soon.
coralmarine
Active Member
Dear All,
Thanks. Last night the pain was unbearable. Worse than contraction so went to hosp but they can't do anything so told me to get extra strong panadol. Luckily the med took effect aft an hr. Now feeling so much better. So many times feel as if I'm fainiting fm the pain.
I think like some of the gals here, I believe I'll heal with time, but I think even with other bbs, Kaden will still hv a very special place in our hearts. Guess what, when he was born there was only me and him. Cos the docs and nurse dont believe I'm delivering soon they claim I'm just wanting to urine so they told hb to go out and let me urine. In the end, I gave birth to him alone. And shouted for nurse aft I got him out. It was a magical moment. All would hv been perfect if Kaden could come hm with us. But well, he gave me hope. I know I'm capable of giving birth to a beautiful bb. So I shall be more forward looking and bring Kaden's siblings to this world. Or who knows, he may be our son again aft he got himself a healthy body. Last night when I was in severe pain I just think of the time when he's in my arms and the pain gets more bearable. He was so small and soft. I dare not hug him too tight in fear that I'll crush him.Oh, how I miss my child. But remmebring that he's not going to hv to suffer in future makes living on easier for me. I just miss singing to him, massaging him thru my tummy. I manage to give him a short massage and tickle his feet as I promised him. Maybe I should feel contended. After all, I've ever been a mummy to such a sweet, obedient boy. Hb tried to distract me by telling me to play xbox. But I told him that reminds me more of Kaden, cos in the past, whenever I play xbox, he'll also be fighting the monster in my tummy, now, my tummy is flat, no more kicks and punches. How empty, a hole is waiting to be filled.We all miss Kaden and we'll love him forever.
Thank you for listening to me in the past and now.
Thanks. Last night the pain was unbearable. Worse than contraction so went to hosp but they can't do anything so told me to get extra strong panadol. Luckily the med took effect aft an hr. Now feeling so much better. So many times feel as if I'm fainiting fm the pain.
I think like some of the gals here, I believe I'll heal with time, but I think even with other bbs, Kaden will still hv a very special place in our hearts. Guess what, when he was born there was only me and him. Cos the docs and nurse dont believe I'm delivering soon they claim I'm just wanting to urine so they told hb to go out and let me urine. In the end, I gave birth to him alone. And shouted for nurse aft I got him out. It was a magical moment. All would hv been perfect if Kaden could come hm with us. But well, he gave me hope. I know I'm capable of giving birth to a beautiful bb. So I shall be more forward looking and bring Kaden's siblings to this world. Or who knows, he may be our son again aft he got himself a healthy body. Last night when I was in severe pain I just think of the time when he's in my arms and the pain gets more bearable. He was so small and soft. I dare not hug him too tight in fear that I'll crush him.Oh, how I miss my child. But remmebring that he's not going to hv to suffer in future makes living on easier for me. I just miss singing to him, massaging him thru my tummy. I manage to give him a short massage and tickle his feet as I promised him. Maybe I should feel contended. After all, I've ever been a mummy to such a sweet, obedient boy. Hb tried to distract me by telling me to play xbox. But I told him that reminds me more of Kaden, cos in the past, whenever I play xbox, he'll also be fighting the monster in my tummy, now, my tummy is flat, no more kicks and punches. How empty, a hole is waiting to be filled.We all miss Kaden and we'll love him forever.
Thank you for listening to me in the past and now.
Dear Coral,
I have been reading the thread and your last post really really touched me deeply...you are so strong, Kaden's inherit his mommy's strength..
You gave birth alone?? Hmm, the doctors and nurses ah...don't believe you...so bad..
I supposed everything now will remind you of your baby.. it's the same with me.. i see advertisements of milk powder, Zoe Tay's advertisements for a new show, anything to do with babies and pregnancy, i will be affected, even slightly.. but, life goes on, the pain will diminished over time.. but you will always be left with the memories.. beautiful memories of the time you had with Kaden.. he will always be the big brother to his siblings..
Take care and join us here often..
Will be here for you... "hugz"..
I have been reading the thread and your last post really really touched me deeply...you are so strong, Kaden's inherit his mommy's strength..
You gave birth alone?? Hmm, the doctors and nurses ah...don't believe you...so bad..
I supposed everything now will remind you of your baby.. it's the same with me.. i see advertisements of milk powder, Zoe Tay's advertisements for a new show, anything to do with babies and pregnancy, i will be affected, even slightly.. but, life goes on, the pain will diminished over time.. but you will always be left with the memories.. beautiful memories of the time you had with Kaden.. he will always be the big brother to his siblings..
Take care and join us here often..
Will be here for you... "hugz"..
liztan
Member
hi Coral
reading your post reminds me of my miscarriages, and can't help the tears swelling in my eyes...
you're really a very very brave girl. and yes, all of us here deserve and will have a living child sooner and later. I have now and you will too, definitely. Like Kaden, my lost children will always remain in my heart and memory,and i'm sure they know we love them so.
reading your post reminds me of my miscarriages, and can't help the tears swelling in my eyes...
you're really a very very brave girl. and yes, all of us here deserve and will have a living child sooner and later. I have now and you will too, definitely. Like Kaden, my lost children will always remain in my heart and memory,and i'm sure they know we love them so.
happysunflower
New Member
Hi Coral,
You are very brave and strong
Do keep it up
. It's normal to grieve now. Cry when you feel sad. Try to think of the happy moments and happy things in your life. And soon, you will be back on your feet again
.
Try to take some "bu". Are you taking any?
Just come into this forum more, and we will be your listening ears
Hugs.... hugs...
You are very brave and strong
Try to take some "bu". Are you taking any?
Just come into this forum more, and we will be your listening ears
Hugs.... hugs...
<font color="0000ff">Coral,</font>
Hugz.... I weep with u...my heart aches with u too!! I was reading your postings this morning & my tears juz flowed down. My boss asked me what happened. Coral, like what the ladies mentioned earlier, please stay strong for your own health. Allow yourself ample time to grief...this is important. I tried to 'act' happy as if nothing was wrong to me last year. But every night I cried secretly in my bedroom. And I ended up having emotional fluctuations for several mths. Then I picked up knitting & other exercises to occupy my time...I think less now.
Right now juz relax yourself & eat good food to nourish your body. Coral, I'm sure you will be able to make it.
Rgds
qwer
Hugz.... I weep with u...my heart aches with u too!! I was reading your postings this morning & my tears juz flowed down. My boss asked me what happened. Coral, like what the ladies mentioned earlier, please stay strong for your own health. Allow yourself ample time to grief...this is important. I tried to 'act' happy as if nothing was wrong to me last year. But every night I cried secretly in my bedroom. And I ended up having emotional fluctuations for several mths. Then I picked up knitting & other exercises to occupy my time...I think less now.
Right now juz relax yourself & eat good food to nourish your body. Coral, I'm sure you will be able to make it.
Rgds
qwer
coralmarine
Active Member
Thanks all. It's esp diff to cope now that hb has gone back to wk. Alone at hm now is so scary. Kaden used to be here with me when daddy's gone to wk. Now, I hv only myself. And I can't do many things.
Lyn, I hv not started to eat bu yet. I'm only drinking some of those black dates water. No aapetite actually.
Liz, I hope to be able to find things to occupy my time too. But at this moment I'm just confined to the house which is so filled with memories of Kaden.
MIL quite worry abt me, she already started planning CNY get-away for me. Everyone around is very sweet. FIL went to buy majong set and tehy try to teach me to play. Though they all don play too. Wkends day time pass more easily, but once all went hm, I start weeping again and poor hb just gotta start telling me how safe and happy Kaden is now. This morning is the first time I'm lef alone since Kaden left. I feel so frightened and lonely. I dunno what to do. I feel very very sad and I dunno how to cope without worrying the rest of the family. I'm worried about myself too Cos I cried so much, my tummy feels painful too. And my stupid breasts are so red, swollen and itchy. I need some new directions and hope. My life was all about Kaden the past 6mths, nowI lost him, I dunno what else I can do.
Lyn, I hv not started to eat bu yet. I'm only drinking some of those black dates water. No aapetite actually.
Liz, I hope to be able to find things to occupy my time too. But at this moment I'm just confined to the house which is so filled with memories of Kaden.
MIL quite worry abt me, she already started planning CNY get-away for me. Everyone around is very sweet. FIL went to buy majong set and tehy try to teach me to play. Though they all don play too. Wkends day time pass more easily, but once all went hm, I start weeping again and poor hb just gotta start telling me how safe and happy Kaden is now. This morning is the first time I'm lef alone since Kaden left. I feel so frightened and lonely. I dunno what to do. I feel very very sad and I dunno how to cope without worrying the rest of the family. I'm worried about myself too Cos I cried so much, my tummy feels painful too. And my stupid breasts are so red, swollen and itchy. I need some new directions and hope. My life was all about Kaden the past 6mths, nowI lost him, I dunno what else I can do.
coral, hv been reading some of your posts on tis board..feel very strongly for you.. u are not alone, u still hv the gals on the board..whenever u feel down, come and let your frustrations/sadness on the board..
am sure little kaden wont want to see u tis way..in the meantime, try to build up your health as best as you can...you hv great parents in law too who are understanding and caring...Kaden is in a safe place with other angels in heaven....Try to be strong for his sake, okay..
am sure little kaden wont want to see u tis way..in the meantime, try to build up your health as best as you can...you hv great parents in law too who are understanding and caring...Kaden is in a safe place with other angels in heaven....Try to be strong for his sake, okay..
confusedgal
New Member
Morning gals
Coral - You got to be brave n strong. i know it takes time to heal your wound. (And I know its difficult not to think abt the past.) Keep telling yourself that life has to go on n you'll have a beautiful bb. i'm sure kaden wouldnt want to see his mummy n daddy feeling sad. yeah! he's in good hand (with god) n god knows kaden will suffer in future so take kaden with him.
i oso had a m/c in mar. i couldnt take it n cried most of the time. i ask myself y tis happen to me, then i realise god purposely take away my bb cos he doesnt want to see bb n parent suffer (if bb not gd) God wants to give us the best. Even my gynae n friends told me that if the bb not gd, dont want it cos in future both parties will suffer. yesterday i was having dinner, i saw a couple with 1 child. There's problem with tis child. (i feel pitiful for the parent n child) The child is so young n has to suffer must well let her/him leave with god n angel. (no suffering)
Please take care of your health n look forward to having another bb. Try to take some bu even though you have no appetite now.
Come in n chat with us n we'll be here for u. Take care n rest well yeah!
Coral - You got to be brave n strong. i know it takes time to heal your wound. (And I know its difficult not to think abt the past.) Keep telling yourself that life has to go on n you'll have a beautiful bb. i'm sure kaden wouldnt want to see his mummy n daddy feeling sad. yeah! he's in good hand (with god) n god knows kaden will suffer in future so take kaden with him.
i oso had a m/c in mar. i couldnt take it n cried most of the time. i ask myself y tis happen to me, then i realise god purposely take away my bb cos he doesnt want to see bb n parent suffer (if bb not gd) God wants to give us the best. Even my gynae n friends told me that if the bb not gd, dont want it cos in future both parties will suffer. yesterday i was having dinner, i saw a couple with 1 child. There's problem with tis child. (i feel pitiful for the parent n child) The child is so young n has to suffer must well let her/him leave with god n angel. (no suffering)
Please take care of your health n look forward to having another bb. Try to take some bu even though you have no appetite now.
Come in n chat with us n we'll be here for u. Take care n rest well yeah!
confusedgal
New Member
Droopy - So happy for u
can see sac liao. Yo! must be feeling excited now hor!
how many week pregnant liao? Me too leh, very gan cheong cos tis friday going checup again. Hopefully can know the bb gender by then. Remember hor, dont be too stress n rest well. Did u take any vitamin now?
happysunflower
New Member
Hi coral,
I understand that you dun have much appetite now. But you still gotta take care of your health. It's very important.
Come in and chat with us
Or install MSN on your PC.. then we can chat
kekeke.. my day time is on MSN
nowadays, nite time also MSN
I understand that you dun have much appetite now. But you still gotta take care of your health. It's very important.
Come in and chat with us
oceans
Well-Known Member
Coral, it is hard as the wound is fresh... I remembered i also cried in my sleep last year when i had first miscarriaged. It was a first trimester loss. Had the same feeling as Confused.. why me? why everyone in my family had successful give birth and not me....
These are just some of the passing thots.... Please try to be strong and I am sure that ur Kaden will not want you to cry so much for him. That's why, he had chosen to leave.
I dun noe, but you mentioned that maybe Kaden is waiting to be your BB again when there is a healthier body? Actually, when i first miscarriaged, i had these feelings too that my BB will be back to me. So, if you are only taking red dates drink, pls take ess of chicken everyday too. It does help. Do take care.
These are just some of the passing thots.... Please try to be strong and I am sure that ur Kaden will not want you to cry so much for him. That's why, he had chosen to leave.
I dun noe, but you mentioned that maybe Kaden is waiting to be your BB again when there is a healthier body? Actually, when i first miscarriaged, i had these feelings too that my BB will be back to me. So, if you are only taking red dates drink, pls take ess of chicken everyday too. It does help. Do take care.
chubbyfishes
New Member
Coral,
Can understand your situation now. Pls remember to take tones of tonic and take care of yourself well. You hv to build your appetite. You will hv to hv a healthy body den you can conceive easier. Pls try to 4get the past and try to build up yr body. I know is not easy to forget, but pls pls pls try.
Can understand your situation now. Pls remember to take tones of tonic and take care of yourself well. You hv to build your appetite. You will hv to hv a healthy body den you can conceive easier. Pls try to 4get the past and try to build up yr body. I know is not easy to forget, but pls pls pls try.
hi coral, i understand how u're feeling now.. when i had my m/c some time back, i do cried a lot.. day and nite time.. I felt so lost and lonely without the little one..
but after quite a long time later, do i finally have the courage to face it and let my bb go.. though its hard, i know that my bb will always have a very special place in my heart..
Do take care and rest as much as u can.. take ur time to grieve and after that, I do hope u will move on..
May God Bless u recover soon...
but after quite a long time later, do i finally have the courage to face it and let my bb go.. though its hard, i know that my bb will always have a very special place in my heart..
Do take care and rest as much as u can.. take ur time to grieve and after that, I do hope u will move on..
May God Bless u recover soon...
miracle_bb
Member
hi coral,
Take it easy. Your wounds are still very fresh, you need time to grieve and heal. I understand the empty hole feeling too well. Tell yourself that you need this time to rest and heal physically. In time to come, you will be blessed with another child. As for lactating, its just another cruel reminder of the lost. Please don't take the medication to relieve engorgement. The pill will not stop the milk, only prevent engorgement. For my first one, I didn't take the pill, my second one yes, coz I couldn't bear the tot of going through the engorgement process again. But I regretted, coz the medication make my breasts from mango to apple!
Hi BellyButton,
Don't worry too much about not holding your bb. For my first stillbirth, I also did not hold my bb. I was so scared, coz this was the first time I encountered death of a loved one. Unfortunately it was not my last.
Take it easy. Your wounds are still very fresh, you need time to grieve and heal. I understand the empty hole feeling too well. Tell yourself that you need this time to rest and heal physically. In time to come, you will be blessed with another child. As for lactating, its just another cruel reminder of the lost. Please don't take the medication to relieve engorgement. The pill will not stop the milk, only prevent engorgement. For my first one, I didn't take the pill, my second one yes, coz I couldn't bear the tot of going through the engorgement process again. But I regretted, coz the medication make my breasts from mango to apple!
Hi BellyButton,
Don't worry too much about not holding your bb. For my first stillbirth, I also did not hold my bb. I was so scared, coz this was the first time I encountered death of a loved one. Unfortunately it was not my last.
confusedgal
New Member
hamasaki - okie, will keep u gals updated on my bb gender. Dont know can see boh cos i got so much fats.
coralmarine
Active Member
Confused, yes, if I think along the line of if bb no good better for him to leave now than suffer longer, I feel better. Tat day when I carried Kaden and massage his body, I saw a mark/wound fm needle. It must hv been the wound from which we tap the water out of his lungs. When I think of this, I'm glad he has left. Else, he'll prob hv to go thru this many more times. Now I hv 3 small scars on tummy from all these treatments. I take them as souvenir from Kaden.
Frankly, I forgotten totally abt eating bu, well, guess I better start now as I really want to be healthy again and hv bbs.
Java, your advice came late. I took the pill cos the pain was killing me.But the pill did not help, my pain only went off after I took extra strong pain killer aft hb rush me to hosp that night as my milk was leaking and my breasts were growing till both sides meet. That's really scary cos I hv very small breasts to begin with. Now my breasts are shrinking and less hard.
Was going thru those clothes we bought for Kaden, Mum told me to burn them for him since they were bought with him in mind. Looking at those clothes I really can't tahan. Think of his cute face again. I used to carry his clothes with me when I go out, cos they're so cute...Now all is gone. But being mummy, I hv to be brave and strong like all you mums here.
Frankly, I forgotten totally abt eating bu, well, guess I better start now as I really want to be healthy again and hv bbs.
Java, your advice came late. I took the pill cos the pain was killing me.But the pill did not help, my pain only went off after I took extra strong pain killer aft hb rush me to hosp that night as my milk was leaking and my breasts were growing till both sides meet. That's really scary cos I hv very small breasts to begin with. Now my breasts are shrinking and less hard.
Was going thru those clothes we bought for Kaden, Mum told me to burn them for him since they were bought with him in mind. Looking at those clothes I really can't tahan. Think of his cute face again. I used to carry his clothes with me when I go out, cos they're so cute...Now all is gone. But being mummy, I hv to be brave and strong like all you mums here.
Dear Coral, sorry to learn about your loss. You have been a strong girl and I hope that you will stay that way. Kaden has made the decision for his Mummy and Daddy so that they will not have to suffer the pain of deciding whether to take his life away from him... it only shows how much he love his parents.
Continue to come here and post. Personally I find that being able to voice your thoughts helps in the healing process and bring you nearer to a closure.
Continue to come here and post. Personally I find that being able to voice your thoughts helps in the healing process and bring you nearer to a closure.
miracle_bb
Member
Hi coral,
I did not burn the baby clothes, coz that's my only memory of Jordan. In fact after James's death, I contemplated giving away the clothes, cot, everything to Salvation Army. But I couldn't bear the thought of it. Even my hubby told me not to give them away. I hope one day I can use them for my future child/ren.
Your gynae did not give you the pill after delivery? Its more effective if you take it earlier. If you take it only when the engorgement take place, its not so effective. Take care! try using cabbage to relief the engorgement. Pound the cabbage until some of the juice comes out and put them into your bra. Express some milk so that the breasts will not get too engorged. Use a hot towel and put it across your chest to get the milk ducts circulating. I'm so sorry you have to go through with this. As if the pain of losing your bb is not great enough. Have a good confinement and rest well.
I did not burn the baby clothes, coz that's my only memory of Jordan. In fact after James's death, I contemplated giving away the clothes, cot, everything to Salvation Army. But I couldn't bear the thought of it. Even my hubby told me not to give them away. I hope one day I can use them for my future child/ren.
Your gynae did not give you the pill after delivery? Its more effective if you take it earlier. If you take it only when the engorgement take place, its not so effective. Take care! try using cabbage to relief the engorgement. Pound the cabbage until some of the juice comes out and put them into your bra. Express some milk so that the breasts will not get too engorged. Use a hot towel and put it across your chest to get the milk ducts circulating. I'm so sorry you have to go through with this. As if the pain of losing your bb is not great enough. Have a good confinement and rest well.
coralmarine
Active Member
Thanks Odie.
Yes, I agree that talking about it beats keeping it bottled up.
Coming to this site helps alot in the sense that I can see for myself how pple move on and pick themselves up. I keep telling myself, if there's pple out there who can do it, so can I. It's wonderful to see pple getting pregnant again or giving birth to healthy beautiful bbs. I look forward to all that. Although I know Kaden will remains in our hearts. I'm lucky enough to hv his company for 6mths.
Yes, I agree that talking about it beats keeping it bottled up.
Coming to this site helps alot in the sense that I can see for myself how pple move on and pick themselves up. I keep telling myself, if there's pple out there who can do it, so can I. It's wonderful to see pple getting pregnant again or giving birth to healthy beautiful bbs. I look forward to all that. Although I know Kaden will remains in our hearts. I'm lucky enough to hv his company for 6mths.
confusedgal
New Member
coral - glad that you are feeling much better liao. yes. i agree, seeing our children suffer is really xin1 tong4. (juz like the child i saw yesterday n was think how n wat will happen to the child after the parent pass away, he'll be even more tong4 ku3. (nobody will be there to look after him) must well let him leave peaceful with god n he's happy playing with other children in the heaven.
Time will heal your wound. Think of the future. yeah! if u do believe you can burn them. (he'll have nice nice clothing) Aiyo! must remember to eat bu so that you'll have bb very soon. Kaden will be very sad if he sees mummy become weak. So for the sack of kaden u must build up your health so that kaden will have a little sister/brother. (although he cant with u all now, i'm sure he'll be happy to have a sibling n next time u all will have a gathering in heaven yeah!
As i told you i had m/c in early mar. i oso very sad. (i an1 wei4 myself) I keep reminding myself that i got to look forward n keep going. (cant let the past hold me back) so in Apr my 1st menses came n may i realise i pregnant liao.
Hope that after reading you'll feel better n dont cry liao , okie! remember yeah! eat more bu
okie, i'm going back liao. talk to u gals tomoro.
Time will heal your wound. Think of the future. yeah! if u do believe you can burn them. (he'll have nice nice clothing) Aiyo! must remember to eat bu so that you'll have bb very soon. Kaden will be very sad if he sees mummy become weak. So for the sack of kaden u must build up your health so that kaden will have a little sister/brother. (although he cant with u all now, i'm sure he'll be happy to have a sibling n next time u all will have a gathering in heaven yeah!
As i told you i had m/c in early mar. i oso very sad. (i an1 wei4 myself) I keep reminding myself that i got to look forward n keep going. (cant let the past hold me back) so in Apr my 1st menses came n may i realise i pregnant liao.
Hope that after reading you'll feel better n dont cry liao , okie! remember yeah! eat more bu
okie, i'm going back liao. talk to u gals tomoro.
Coral,
I am in US now for business meeting and cannot participate in the discussions as actively as I want to. I wishe I can give you more support at this painful time. I too lost my baby cos my waterbag broke at 23 weeks, altho my baby does not have any illnesses. I too went through nites washing my face with tears. I too have fears and sense of loss when my hubby first went back to work. I jus want u to know that wat u are going thru is perfectly normal.
My family cleared everything related to the baby and the pregnancy into boxes and kept them in cupboards. I did not go look at them till a long long time. At first, I thought I would give them away but I am not sure if anyone wants to accept clothes meant for a baby who has passed away. Then I jus kept it cos they are my memories of my little one. Now, my little gal is wearing those clothes meant for her big brother whom she never met.
I hope you will find solace and comfort in chatting with the gals. If you want, feel free to PM me as well
folic
I am in US now for business meeting and cannot participate in the discussions as actively as I want to. I wishe I can give you more support at this painful time. I too lost my baby cos my waterbag broke at 23 weeks, altho my baby does not have any illnesses. I too went through nites washing my face with tears. I too have fears and sense of loss when my hubby first went back to work. I jus want u to know that wat u are going thru is perfectly normal.
My family cleared everything related to the baby and the pregnancy into boxes and kept them in cupboards. I did not go look at them till a long long time. At first, I thought I would give them away but I am not sure if anyone wants to accept clothes meant for a baby who has passed away. Then I jus kept it cos they are my memories of my little one. Now, my little gal is wearing those clothes meant for her big brother whom she never met.
I hope you will find solace and comfort in chatting with the gals. If you want, feel free to PM me as well
folic
Coral,
I just wan to tell you, I feel so sorry for your lost... your stories brought tears to my eyes....and it reminded me of my own lost. However, I really admire you for your strength and courage.
Have faith that your Kaden is with God now and need not suffer anymore.
Please take good care of yourself and have positive thots.
You need to eat BU now to build up your health.... so please do so. It's for the good of your body and your next bb. *hug*
I just wan to tell you, I feel so sorry for your lost... your stories brought tears to my eyes....and it reminded me of my own lost. However, I really admire you for your strength and courage.
Have faith that your Kaden is with God now and need not suffer anymore.
Please take good care of yourself and have positive thots.
You need to eat BU now to build up your health.... so please do so. It's for the good of your body and your next bb. *hug*
happysunflower
New Member
Today is a bright and sunny day! It's a beautiful day!
You are doing very well
In my first miscarriage, I cried buckets too. Everything and anything would remind me. At that time, I found that watching the TV increase my sorrows, so I stopped watching the TV for a few months. I find reading the newspapers also increase my sorrows, so I stopped reading them too. I found the booklets and scans increase my sorrows, so I put them away and keep them out of my sight. I did all these for a few months till I felt better
Hugs...