Support group - Miscarriages

beverly,
haha...true..record n replay.I'm one of the those who lazy to explain.Sometx,i feel like answer bk to shut the person mouth but oso worry might end up in argument.For instance,my MIL always indirectly blames me for causing the m/c.She keep saying it is bcoz i am kan cheong.I always ignored her but she keeps REPEATing...
1) If i explain to her,she won't b able to understand.(bet she knows what is chromosome)
2) If i keep quiet,she'll keep nagging.
3) If i explain,she understands;she'll announce to the world.(she cannot keep secret)

Tink of seeing her reali make me sick.

Same same,if i would preggie,I'll only tell my hb...not even to my mum or close frds...

Somehow,i know there r 2groups of frds i've:frds who truly care for me.This gp of frds will reali call n concern abt me.Whereas,the other gp,they call bcoz they're curious to find out what happened to me.Then they start to spread the news ard.

mricky,
Dr SF Loh is a good gynae.His IVF success rate is high.I tink u shld continue to stick to him despite of the queue.
Part of the reasons why u feel tired all the the times is bcoz of ur emotional.Last tx,i was tired all the times but cannot sleep well.I tried to tak a nap or sleep early but still tired.i realise it is due to my emotional stress.Then i tried to relax myself,do more exercise to help me sleep well at nite..i oso try to help my frds.By helping others,i feel beta too.
I strongly suggest u shld only try when ur physically n mentally well.After my 1st DnC last Dec,i went ahead TTC thou i was physically n mentally tired.I conceived in Apr but m/c again.I feel even more tired.That's why now I've stopped everything n give myself a break n focus on my son.....
Give urself a break...go for TCM to bu urself,make sure u r well then try again.Reali very impt!
 


Wtpooh,
I heard abt some good n bad comments on Ying Chuan medical hall fr this forum.Anyway,it is impossible for me to queue at such early time.

bubbleteahut,
when u plan to c Dr SF Loh?
 
Hi, Mricky, sorry for your loss.Can I pm you a TCM in jurong area? I'd seen her since my last MC in March but I havent ttc so I cant swear by her but at least, I feel better. Anyway, there is this Sinseh Tan K S in Clementi area whom some ladies here hv recommended too. take care
 
Avocado, i think u just gotta tell her... sorry and next time you'll be careful. This line is most effective to shut old ppl up. I mean, end of the day i believe this is what she wants to hear.... not explanations. I kind of feel that old ppl always want young ppl to apologise to them.... as they are much experienced in life. As if.
 
hi ladies,

I had did my Evacuation of the Uterus on 31 march, thereafter every month during ovulation my discharge is brown. Anyone here with the same experience? I've been putting off seeing my gynae..
 
hi ladies,

I did my Evacuation of Uterus on 31 March, thereafter every month during ovulation my discharge is brown. Anyone had the same experience? I've been putting off seeing my gynae..
 
Hi funne,
ya..i wished i could announce it once n for all..n they would just leave me alone.the pain is just unbearable..

I kept mum about my pregnancy for 3 mths..not 'pan dang' but becos' it's critical period.. passed the critical period, worried about all the upcoming test..triple test,glucose etc..passed all those tests, heaved a sigh of relief.. but god still took her away from me during her last lap..
 
Sweetie, Donkey,

My heart really goes out to both of you. I can understand your grief as I had went through a similar tragic experience as donkey this year.
Take as much time as you want to grieve, it is alright.
About the SOPs, yes I did and still am going through the same thing but we can't prevent this as those mouth belong to someone elses' and we will still be subjected to insensitive remarks occasionally. It is alright to tell them straight in their face that they are being insensitive and worse trivialising our pain and it will help if they could just keep their comments to themselves. Tell them we don't need anything from them since they can't help.

Donkey,

If you need to 'talk' to someone, please do PM me.
 
Hi, can anyone advise ? I had mine m/c early last mth. Afterwhich, I had mine 1st menses end last Sat. But todae, I am having some blood spot. Is it normal & has mine menses go haywire. I felt my stomach abit cramp.
 
hi sweetie
I am very sorry to hear about your loss. The gynae recommended by avocado, Dr TC Chang is my gynae, he's now head of foetal assessment at TMC and I must say he is not only good and assuring, but very caring. Even after delivery, he remembered me and even asked nurses to call me up to see how I am


hi porky
I was with Dr Adrian for first pregnancy which ended in mc and he did my dnc... I didnt go back to him for 2nd one as I felt he wasnt detailed enough.. probably as his packages were very reasonable, he spent very little time with each patient and I wanted alot of explanations...


hi aileen
congrats!! Pls take good care of yourself now =)


hi bb08
congrats to your twin gals! God is good, He gave you double what you lost. I had 2 sacs also initally but one was a blighted ovum, so only one survived. I'll never know what was the gender of the other baby but I am glad at least one made it. Enjoy your moments with your gals


hi pinkpixel
Spotting doesnt mean you will lose the baby. My first pregnancy, totally fine, no spotting but bb heartbeat still stopped. 2nd pregnancy, bled very heavily 3 times till I was hospitalised twice and on 1.5mths mc but baby is now healthy and fine
 
hi everyone,
can i chk if anyone has gone thru blood test to investigate m/c? My gynae asked me to go for blood test to chk any hidden health probs such as kidney,liver.The test costs abt $100+.It is part of the m/c profile test.
 
Hello everyone...

Have decided to see gynae this week, hope will be able to hear heartbeat by then... recently feelin very tired, can only use eye power on my girl.. poor girl kept crying for me to carry somemore..sigh..

wtpooh - i think spotting should stop already. u going bk for review with gynae? maybe can check with gynae?

Roxy - thanks! will try to take good care of myself
happy.gif
 
Hi ladies,

i had sudden cramps last sat n started spotting.. tot was my period reporting.. but it stopped after 1 day. anyone had tis experience before 3-4wks after D&C?
 
Hi Aileen,
I can deeply understand how u feel...U wanna carry n sayang ur girl but physically veri tired.Give her a lots of hugs...i'm sure she'll understand tat mummy is having baby boy/girl in the tummy.U've a helper or inlaws to help out?

try to rest as much as u can...1st trimester is impt...
 
Avocado - Ya, that how bad i feel..as much as i want to spend time with her after work, i am always sooo tired by 9pm. I do have a helper but cos my girl is always under my care once i finish my dinner, so my girl not used to it lor. but thankfully HB is quite willing to help out and now it makes me a bit jealous that they are kinda on very good terms.. haha... like what u said, tahan first.. until this first tri is over, i will be bk to normal then can start spending time with her. somemore i gota go to KL for a work trip next week for 2 days.. sigh
 
Hi sticky,
thank you..am on all ears if u wish to talk to someone.<hugs>
whenever i see babies, i would breakdown n cry..could not pluck up the courage to play with them..they remind me of her..esp when there are so many babies at my hubby's side. seriously, am still not ready to face all these, the relative crowds n their babies..still grieving bitterly inside..

Hi Roxy,
Thank you..went to check out his website (http://www.doctor-chang.net/home2.asp) he looks like a mr nice/caring guy..
happy.gif
Did he put you through all the tests during your preg? (e.g optional test such as triple, etc)
 
Aileen,
aiya,even i am not working n preggie,I oso normally knock out ard 10pm,hehe..old oredi..

Give ur girl some times for her to learn to be independent n get used to ur helper.It is beta for her to learn nw coz u'll b busy wf the newborn.
 
hi avocado
Not sure how much are his per visits visit... tink scan is $30-$50 and consultation is $65 as I was on package... his package is $800, exclusive of vitamins etc and can start from 2nd visit onwards... waiting time pretty reasonable, about 30min


hi sweetie
Yes, all the tests are conducted by him personally as he is the head of foetal assessment, if you go to other gynaes in tmc, they will refer you to foetal assessment dept at 4th floor to do the tests...
 
Hi Aileen
Congrats! Hope you have a smooth 9 months ahead! How I wish I am preggie again also.*envy*
happy.gif


Hi Avocado
I got about 5 items checked after the m/c ie. ANA, Anti-DNA, Anti-cardiolipin, lupus anticoagulant and thyroid function...and all came back negative. I think there are a whole lot more that can be tested but dunno why my gynae only deem these necessary...and i too tired to question further at that time. I don't really know what's an actual complete m/c profile test.

Anyone has any experience where no ovulation for months and then it occurs back naturally on its own?? I am not TTC-ing now but this cycle just used the OPK to check if my cycle is normal but its all negative and I don't see the fertile mucus also. Sigh!! Really don't wish to see another obstacle added when I wish to TTC again.
 
hi cynn,
could it be stress? how r ur diet n lifestyle?Too much stress or excessive exercise or poor diet, will affect ur hormone n ovulation.
 
Hi Aileen,

First of all, congrats to you. Btw, do take care of ur health. I believe hugs for ur girl can replace the carry. Its not gd to carry ur kid during the 1st trimester. Although, I have yet to have kid but heard this advise from my colleague.

Btw, i won't be visiting my gynae anymore. As mentioned my m/c was in first week of june hence, no require to go back. The blood flow was heavy todae. Was wondering if it is due to my consuming of "Tang Sheng".

Do you think I should seek advise from my gynae or monitor ?
 
Hi Aileen,

explain to your girl that u cant carry her now. I didnt carry my boy from the day i knw i am preg. I tell him that there is a baby in mummy tummy so cant carry him. Now when he see my stomach he will say "Mummy cannot carry chen chen". Now he will say good nite to baby and say he is gor gor.. So your girl will get use to it but give her more hugs so she dun feel neglected.
 
Cynn / wtpooh - Don't envy! very soon it will be your turn too! jia you!!! *spreading baby dust*

Wtpooh - Actually its no harm paying a visit to your gynae to get peace of mind. That's my personal opinion la, if its me, i will head back.. it could just be hormonal inmabalnce that cause your menses to come again but earlier... i would think the womb is still regulating itself bah.. ya, now i try to hug her and have bedtime talk with her rather than carrying.. once a while will still carry but HB will quickly take over after short while.. can't wait to see gynae this week!
 
wtpooh-i don't tink taking tang sheng will make ur flow heavy.I took red dates n tang sheng for 2wks but my 1st AF after my DnE on 2nd wk,june,ended yesterday.My menses only came fr 3days.The flow was heavy on 1st 2days,after tat,it was ok...
 
Jappooh - Ya, the last time i told myself strictly no carrying i get pregnant.. but now, heart ache when she cry til so cham.. think i gota be more heng xin from now liao... sigh.. most impt is to cross this first trimester first...
 
Hi Aileen,
is not that we heng xin lar. Try to explain to her. She will understand if u keep repeating. How old is your gal?

Even till now i dun carry my boy. So far only once cos he fall asleep in the cab and i am alone with him. So have to carry him hm. Other time i ask him to walk. I will say Elvin big boy already must help mummy. so the magic word is "help"..hee
 
Jappooh - ya, know what you mean.. we are kind of forced by circumstances... will try to talk to her about it. she seems to know there is baby ( yes, i haven told her yet) cos i dont want my gal to tell others that i have baby.. am trying to wait til i pass my first trimester then inform inlaws n my parents... my gal is 2yr plus liao..
 
Hi ladies

It takes me quite a while to have the courage to share the pain online. I had my procedure on 20 Jun after gynae detected no heartbeat &amp; bb size remain at wk 9 instead of wk 11 .. it has been 3 weeks after the procedure.. thot I would get over the loss.. but have started to feel lousy these days.. earlier this yr, i had an op for my endo.. now a procedure for the missed miscarriage.. really envy those mothers/ mum-to-be..

Blueberi
I understand how u feel.. ppl around me started to get pregnant after my m/c.. my gynae recommended me to TTC until my cycle resumes and wait for another 2-3 cycles. I've not started on TMC.. will consult chinese sinseh this sat to "tiao" my body. It's encouraging to know that ur gynae has given a go-ahead after ur 1st AF cycle.

I hop
 
Hi gals,

Avocado, yes, have fixed an appt with Dr Loh but in Aug after I checked with Dr Susan Lim abt risk for breast cancer becoz I have had benign breast lumps removed in 2001 under her. But actually I am still thinking about PGD wif IVF but I just want to see what Dr Loh has to say about it.

Bluberi, Usually the 1st actual flow after D&amp;C is always very very light for me. After my 2nd mc, the 1st AF was almost as light as spotting. But u might want to ensure that ur SECOND AF is heavier. I believe that the volume of AF kind of give u an idea of whether the lining is back to normal. Don't worry to much for now, 3 to 4 weeks after D&amp;C is still very early. But impt thing is ur 2nd flow must be heavier and 4th AF should be almost back to pre D&amp;C pattern/vol.

Cynn, after my D&amp;C, I did experience a cycle without any ovulation. Alto it was a normal 28 days cycle, but BBT did not incr. And then my cycles normalised with TCM. So its normal for things to be abnormal after D&amp;C but as said earlier, if latest by 6th flow still not normal, maybe can seek opinion from gynae.

Wtpooh, is ur blood spot ovulation spotting and the cramps caused by ovulation? I don't usually have ovulation spotting but after 2nd D&amp;C, my ovulation became more crampy then before and I did have a cycle which I ovulated earlier than usual.

Leelee, you had suffered an unmeasurable loss and I am sorry about ur bb. Pls consult TCM soon to build ur system back to where it was. Once u get better emotionally and physically, u can move toward dream of becoming mom. U will get there
happy.gif
Its absolutely normal to feel depressed/hopeless/cheated of ur efforts and a whole lot of emotions after a mc and such feelings come and ago and getting better might take several weeks or even months. So be patient and kind to urself k!

Gals, does anyone have an experience with Group B Strep (GBS) bacteria infection. I took several courses of antibiotics and its still not cleared yet. And my hubby is also infected by me. Such that I dare not TTC yet. I also read that this bacteria could posssibly impact male fertility. Any sharing of prior experience with GBS would be appreciated. Sometimes we gals r like Dae Jang Geum. Must fight one battle after another..!
 
hi all,

i'm back
happy.gif
so much has happened in the forum, v diff to catch up. am v touched by the recent sharings, really hope things will get better for everyone.i don't think i can catch up with all of the previous posts, sorry if i sound blur.

currently @ day 16 of cycle and have been diligent @ ttc, hope for good news...if not, will try again next cycle...period is due on 27 this mth.used the OPK and got one positive on 12 july, am very hopeful altho i know i will be very disappointed if not successful this mth, but will try to have faith...

on a side note, i happen to scan one of the links posted here which stated that one cause of m/c is late ovulation.

http://www.itsnatural.com.au/miscarriage.shtml

did some search and found that eggs that were not so "fresh" could lead to unhealthy embryos (sorry lost the link for this)i think that happened to me b/c i could pin point the date of conception for my #2 (which i m/c in april) since it was the only time we didn't use contraception that mth...and i thought it was safe then coz it was past my ovulation date (my cycle before d &amp; C used to be a clockwork 28 days cycle)but i got preggie with #2.

when we saw gyane in the early weeks, he did say baby was smaller than it was supposed to be going by my date of LMP. So that mth i could ovulated later than usual. i'm wondering if this could have been avoided at all for future pregnancies. will try to do more research on this.

i'm beginning to see that having a baby is very complicated.really hope all of us will be blessed with a healthy baby soon!

hi leelee,
i m/c @ 11 weeks too
sad.gif
same as u, baby size was 9 weeks. i had no idea baby was gone till no heartbeat was detected.
 
hi bubbleteahut,

i was tested for GBS by dr chan for #1 and #2 and had to take antibiotics for it in the early weeks. my hubby was also infected by me but dr chan only got him tested after i m/c #2 and i wonder why he didn't think of testing my hubby for GBS when i tested positive for it while i was having #1. after all, he did say that he has to treat hubby for GBS because it might cause future miscarriages but he didn't really explain why.

my fault also for not pressing dr chan becoz he is v good at brushing questions off and also i wasn't thinking right after i found out #2 was gone...i have not seen dr chan since my last check up after d&amp;c.

as for hubby,he also had to take antibiotics. but the antibiotics given to my hubby was too strong and unfortunately, hubby has a weak stomach. our GP said the meds given by dr chan killed all his good bacteria in his digestive tract and he had very bad diarrhea for many days. but he survived it lah.

sighs, really hope everything will be ok...didnt know getting preggie is so tough. took it for granted coz #1 was so smooth sailing...
 
Hi Roxy,
For both my preggies, I had spotting and had to be on bedrest for weeks. Despite the bedrest, still resulted in m/c. I have decided that if I get pregnant again, even with spotting I am not going to put myself through the bedrest again. Maybe what some gynae school of thought is correct, i.e. if its not meant to be, will still result in m/c despite all the bedrest....Btw, can be give me the contact of your gynae, I am thinking of changing gynae.

Hi wtpooh,
I had on &amp; off spotting &amp; at times severe cramps for about 3 weeks after my D&amp;C. After 3 weeks, it totally cleared and I got my 1st AF about 6 weeks after D&amp;C. I am not sure about "Tang shen" but my gynae did advise me not to take anything
with "Dang Gui" as it may cause bleeding.

Hi leelee,
sorry to see you here. well, all of us here have gone thru'at least 1 m/c so we can totally understand your feelings. Everyone around me is also either pregnant or already have kids. yet, I am still trying after 2 m/c at my "ripe old age"...dun despair....try to build up your health so you can TTC soon.
 
Hi Bubbleteahut,
wanted to comment that you seems really knowledgeable on all the preggie stuff....is it you have some background in medical field?
Just being "kaypoh".....
happy.gif
 
Hi Cheekz,

Good to hear from u again after a while
happy.gif
And thanks so much for sharing ur experience about GBS. Do u mind if I ask u 2 questions. If ur hubby was only offered GBS test after your #2 (he might have have already contacted when u had ur #1 bb as u said), it would imply that his fertility was not adversely affected by the bacteria since u managed to conceive #2. I am just thinking if I am right to induce like that. What do u think, Cheekz? Second question is after u and hubby took the antibiotics, did you two retest to ensure virus is cleared?

Its not ur fault for not pressing becoz we patients always work with assumption that drs know best plus immedidately after mc, its very hard to snap the finger and think of next step. But nevermind, we can always exchange tips to ensure we r not missing out impt things to do.

For my case, I was tested GBS negative wif my #1 bb (end in mc) and positive wif #2 bb (also mc). I requested for my hubby to be tested and he is also positive. After a few rounds of antibiotics, still not cleared (very discouraging) and I am going back to him to check how it might affect our ttc plan. Will update u once I get feedback k!

And I asked my hubby to read ur posting becoz he also complaint that he had major diarrhoea after augmentin. After reading ur post, he smiled and commented at least someone understands his running to the toilets!
happy.gif


Pinkpixel, heeeheee..me not in medical field research, all medical knowledge stops at biology in sec4. But while researching on genetic issues, came across a lot of info. And also suffers from occupational hazard as I am in the equities research line..heeeee..so is used to digging info, search and re-search to confirm. But if u gals find better info, feel free to correct me as it benefits everyone here.
 
hi bubbletea,
what causes GBS?Can GP treat GBS?but it is tough to find a good GP nowadays...

My understanding is GBS will nt cause m/c,right?
But will GBS cause infertility?

I tink it is a norm for gynae nt to comment too much coz they oso worry tat they make the wrong comment or assumption.I always prepare a list of Qs b4 seeing the gynae.Most of the times,he couldn't give me a conclusion.He can only make certain judgment or assumption based on the medical report/blood test....But at least,i know the possibilities n some little info based on his knowledge,then i go hme n do my own researches.
I oso can understand their difficulties..bcoz everything is "possible" in the scientific/medical world.My frd whom she has seen several gynae n confirmed tat she will nt be able to conceive after TTC for abt 5yrs,finally conceived naturally.how to explain that?

hi cheekz,
u r rite,dr chan very good at brushing off ur Qs.He oso doesn't like to be asked wat to do.My hb n me couldn't stand his attitude thus we switched to another gynae.

what bubbletea highlighted is impt..it is beta to make sure tat the virus is cleared b4 ttc.

Pinkpixel,
i agree wf u tat sometx we might hv done a lot to protect the preggie,but at the end,we still lost it. I ever questioned abt bedrest,how effective it is,to prevent m/c.I oso question abt hormone jab,coz it nvr been proven tat progestrone jab,will help to protect the preggie.But,tak one step backwards n tink abt it,at least,we've done something to protect our babies,rather than nothing.We do nt wanna do anything tat will make us regret for life.When gynae cannot tell why we were m/c,they can only do their best to help us even it might nt work coz we hv no idea,what might b causing the m/c.
 
Hi leelee, i haf not really gotten over the M/C and still tinks abt bb occasionally. yesterday marks the 4th week aft my D&amp;C. the tears still flows whenever i see the last scan pic of my bb taken 3days before the D&amp;C. my hubby haf kept away all the scan pics but i've taken it with my hp camera before he did so.

i'm actually nt beri keen seeing TMC but my mum insisted dat i do. so all the brewing of medication is done by my mum. the TCM doc recommended to on TTC on 2nd AF. dats wat my gynea said initially but dunno why nw he given me the go ahead to TTC on 1st AF.

Bubbleteahut, tink the spotting i had last sat not AF ba.. it lasted barely a day and stopping. i'm hoping AF to report by these weekend coz i've finished the sunolut given by gynea to regulate my AF. my normal AF flow is always beri heavy n with cramps. always lasted at least 7days. i was told by TCM doc dat thoses monthly cramps can be 'tiao' until dun haf. hope it works.
 
Hi Leelee &amp; Cheekz

Same situation, Mc at 11 weeks as bb size remained at 9 weeks n we didnt know cos there were no symptoms at all. was so close to end of 1st tri but yet so far. Do PM me if you need a lending ear
happy.gif
 
hi all, long time did not post. feel sorry to see those newcomers here. like pinkpixel had said, we all here has went thru at least 1 m/c so we understand how u feel. is not easy to overcome the sorrow at short term. mine is over 4 months already but at times still feel sad..

hi blueberi, i also took out my last bb scan pix to look at it sometimes. my hubby say i crazy. so long already still look at the pix for what. ask me to throw away. i get very annoyed with him when he say that..but i know he wan me to put away the photo to avoid the sadness...but that is the last photo of my bb loh..i still slot it nicely into one of the photo album

btw, my 4th cycle is very "zhun" came at CD30 today. i thot still got chances. already prepare HPT to test this sat..got to try again next cycle..who say after m/c will get pregnant very easy...haiz...
 
Porky, my hubby actually wanted mi to throw all the scan pics away coz it reminded mi of bb. but i cried n said i die die also wan to keep it coz it's the oni memories we haf for our bb liao.
 
hi porky,
the TCM that I am consulting claims that accupncture prior to ovulation can produce more eggs, so better chances of getting pregnant. I dun know how true, I am trying it this cycle. But again, maybe not accurate as my DH will be away during certain days of my "o" week.....
sad.gif
 
hi pinkpixel, thanks. i am also seeing TCM at yishun. my mum's TCM. he given me some capsule and syrups say is for bu blood bu Qi. good for the womb. i already finish the course. but i did not went back to get another course from him yet..

blueberi, yes is true that it reminds us of our bb. but at least we have the pix to keep as memories. i tell my hb, if he secretly throw away the pix and i cant find it, i will sure go crazy..he dont dare to say anymore...man wont understand how we feel alto they also say they are sad..
 
bluberi...
in order to move on, u need to throw away.
Just place the memories...
and those touching moments u ever had,
in your heart.
 
Porky, dat time i saw where my hubby kept the scan pics, i took it and put it away so he can't throw it away when i'm nt ard. my hubby doesn't tok to mi abt bb, i'm always the one bringing up the topic abt our bb. den he will start to tell mi nt to be sad coz we will haf another one again tis yr.

IR, i can't bear to throw it away... will juz try not to bring it out to see anymore. tink next CNY i will be super sad coz my EDD was supposed to be during CNY. tink every CNY i will remember my bb in heaven.
 


Its always ok to upset for a while
But make sure it doesnt last long
Whatever is lost is lost
Whoever is still around by ur side
Will want to see you well
 
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