Support group - Miscarriages

[pegsfur]

Sweetie,

Your family probably meant well to do all kinds of things so that both you & hubby can stop feeling upset and move on with your lives. But they did not know that we need time to mourn, to grief and to make sense of the whole thing (though it doesn't make sense why others could have their babies while we can't!)

I think it was probably becos everything happened so fast that both u & hubby didn't know wat to do or plan. My waterbag broke at 17 wks, gynae had already told us wat would happened if the water level doesn't rise. We were prepared for it, though still hopeful for a miracle. After weeks of waiting, the water level still wasn't going up and I had to be induced. When my baby Owen came out, my hubby cried and took a photo of him.

Confinement period was spent crying when no one was around. Hubby kept away those medical tests, reports and scans. Even till now, he would switch channel whenever the tv shows scenes of babies/getting pregnant etc. Clearing the wardrobe of my maternity clothes and Owen's clothes was the hardest thing, but it was a step for me to move on. On his edd in march, i had his name tattoo on my wrist so that he would be with me forever. It somewhat helped and I felt better after that.

But of cos, I still miss him.

 

[sweetieminnie]

Hi avocado,
Did u relate the incident to your hubby about his sis? I would usually tell him off..on how upset and insensitive those words are..my poor hubby.

Hi Jappooh n bubbleteahut,
Thank you.

am wriggling my way through the road of recovery.

Hi Cynn,
ya, those SOPs words..pierced through my heart..when am not even in the mood to conceive another one to replace my loss. nothing can replace or forget the loss of an angel. As for the 'bu' thingy, as am doing my confinement now, not too sure if it's suitable for u to drink it.. in addition to bubbletea's recommendation,just check iwth my confinement nanny: (1)black chicken with martel + dang gui(need to slow cook for at least 4hrs) to 'bu' xue(black chicken with dang gui alone 'bu' xue too).(2) red dates tea with dangsen+black dates to 'bu' qi. provided ur body can take it as it is very 'heaty'. DOM n yomeisho is good too..am drinking yomeisho to 'pu' yiao1.ermm..am not to sure what qi,xue,yiao means in chinese medical terms.

Hi bb08,
just pm u to know more abt ur gynae.

 

[pinkpixel]

Hi Cynn,
Like u, my health is also not always good. Esp after the D&C. I took quite a fair bit of cordyceps and am now consulting a TCM doctor. He does accuputure on me to strengthen the body & the womb. Also most of his medicine is in the capsule form, so its easier to take. Let me know if you want his contact.

Hi Gals,
All my m/cs started with spotting. Is it true that once you start to spot, the chances of successfully giving birth is reduced?

 

[lohalo]

Hi Pegsfur,

For my 1st pregnancy I delivered in KK.The impression was very bad as when I felt the bb is forcing her way out, there were alot of nurses but STUDENT nurses. They can't do anything at all. Then a staff nurse came n asked me to lie on my side. After having much diffculties I managed to flip to a side. But not even a minute, another staff nurse came in and asked very fiercely Y am I lying on one side and she asked me to turn back again. I felt like scolding them but the pain was really too unbearable. To make things even worst, when my mum keep asking for the doc, the nurse replied in a very rude manner saying that the doctors also need to rest!!! But even later when 2 doctors came in, they just stand infront of me with their arms crossed. I was so lost as I know I can't protect my baby but at the same time I felt like being treated like a third class citizen!!

As for my 2nd bb, I really got no choice but 2 choose for "comfort care". Cos he's in septic shock and some internal organs are not functioning. He's all swollen!!! Imagine I terminated my own bb's life and just put him on morphine and let him slowly go away in my arm... I really hate myself!! I know people would say it would be better to stop his sufferring but I just cannot let go of everything. In fact, he has been doin quite well and it's until when the docs took him out from the incubator and said 1 him 2 undergo the PDA operation. But after checking, they said he's not suitable to undergo the operation yet and from there, they just left him in the open space and things just got worse. Everytime when I ask for the conditions, they will just said the bb was infected by either bacteria or virus (everytime same answer til the day he passed away).

Hi bb08,

Actually I'm also not very sure y do i need so long b4 I can ttc. But from my TMC doc is that my womb has not completely shrink back to its normal size and furthermore I've been having slight bleeding for almost 3 months after my 2nd delivery...also she needs to strengthen up my womb so next time it can hold on 2 the bb better.

 

[avocado]

hi cynn,
i oso fell sick very often(on & off for 2mth) after my 1st D&C.U can try to tak multivitamin on top of the herbal soups recommended by Sweetie n Bubbleteahut.Of coz,muz oso make sure urself hv sufficient rest.

Hi Bubbleteahut,
Don't worry,I know u r busy...hey,reali thks for the information.I've not seen the report yet.I'll only see my gynae this friday to collect n discuss on the report.But he has briefly explained to me over the phone on the chromosome thingie.

Ur explanation is very clear

However my gynae mentioned tat he cannot do any conclusion here as we didn't do any check for my 1st m/c.
$1K for the chromosome test is very ex, don't tink we're going to carry out the test.

R u refering to Dr SF Loh fr. KKH? He is very famous.My frd will b going for iui under him oso.Heard tat u've to pre-book him few mth in advance.

bb08,
it is difficult to ignore my hb's SIL coz she stays wf my inlaws.Even I don't go bk to my inlaws home nowadays,she still always kepo n asks abt me fr my MIL.Bcoz of this,i seldom chat wf my MIL coz she'll leak out the info to her.I can list down 101 bad things tat she did to me.I try not to tink more coz it'll affect my health.

Mala & Bubbleteahut,
it is a good news to know abt PGD.Tak a look at this website abt PGD:
http://www.asklenore.info/miscarriage/cytogenetic_profiles.html

hi Pinkpixel,
My gynae told me tat he has patients who experience spotting throughout the preggie but gave birth successfully.I didn't experience any bleeding during my 3rd preggie,but still end up m/c.

IR,
U r rite,my hb sil constantly compete wf me,since the day1 i married to my hb.She always like to "stir up" n provoke us.We oredi tried our best to avoid n ignore her.Then she'll still purposely do or say something to sour the relationship either btw me n my MIL, me n my hb.She likes to c us being miserable.

 

[pegsfur]

donkey,

My heart goes all out to you when i read your story. It must have been very very hard to make the decision to let your boy go. I know no amount of words can make you feel better but please take care of yourself ok? Do come in here and vent or grumble if you need to. All of us here will lend a listening ear to you.

 

[avocado]

Blueberi,
Too careful oso lead to stress...Once ur preggie again,just lead ur life as per normal.Can try to avoid crowded pl till after 1st trimester is over.Coz preggie women easier to fall sick(immunity is lower) esp expose to crowded pl.
just tak it this way:if avoid then avoid.If cannot avoid(for e.g. if nid to tak bus or train),then be careful.If any "pantang" event unfortunate happen,just let it pass since we cannot change the history.

my MIL hme was undergone reno during my 3rd preggie.When i told her tat i didn't wanna stay there for long(coz of smell of the paint n worker shifting stuff),she said:don't matter lah,why so pantang?"But then she reprimanded of not being careful after my m/c

Hi sweetie,
my hb knew what his SIL said to me.But we can't do anything coz didn't wanna make my inlaws in a difficult position.Also,if we lecture her,she'll make things difficult to my son.My MIL was taking care of my son during my preggie tat time.

 

[cynn]

Bubbleteahut, sweetie, avocado
Thanks again for the recommendations. I'll be trying them out soon...

Pinkpixel
Sure, can I have the contact..in case I need it in future. (KIV)
Both my pregnancies that ended in loss also have occasions of spotting/bleeding...however I also know others who had successful birth despite facing the same thing. I read that apparently it is not unusual to have some spottings esp in the 1st trimester and it does not really mean that the pregnancy is doomed.

 

[lohalo]

Hi Pegsfur,

Thanks for the encouragement...but I know i will never walk out from this easily cos even til now tears still roll down whenever I think of my boy.
To make things worse, some of my colleagues who don't know about my problem still come n ask how's my baby and some don't even give me a chance to answer will just say congrats...I really dunno how to face this...


Hi avocado,

Can I check with you did u request ur gynae to do the chromosome test during ur preggie time or is it in the package? Cos i rem my gyane never did such a test on me.

Also I saw another thread which u were asking abt high risk pregnancy ya...did u manage to find any good gynae from TMC or SGH who are experience in handling high risk pregnancy? Cos I also tot of going to Ann Tan at Mt.E..but the charges r way to high...

 

[lohalo]

Bubbleteahut, thank you...

 

[bubbleteahut]

Avocado,
U r welcome! think u have found a really good gynae who sounds very attentive and consultative. Yes, I am referring to Dr SF Loh. Thanks for telling me it may need a few months to book an appt with him or I will take it for granted that I can see him if I call 2 wks in advance. K, I will take that into consideration if I want to try ivf wif pgd at kk.

Pinkpixel, i read at several diff sites b4 that statistically, 50% of woman of bled/spotted went on to have healthy pregs. I was debating whether to even tell u becoz knowing its 50% is as good as not knowing since its really half half. But jus for ur info, that is the statistic I read, be it from uk, us or indian websites. When my mum was expecting my sis, her period actually came once! And she went on to deliver my sis, a healthy full 9 mths bb. So spotting is inclusive for outcome.

Donkey, my heart goes out to u described what happened. Don't hate urself loh. U have done what u possibly could under those circumstances. Avocado might tell u more but every few dr specialise in high risk preg in singapore unlike overseas. I have not seen any doctors at SGH before but heard fr frd that there r drs that that specifically state they specialise in high-risk preg: http://www.sgh.com.sg/MedicalSpecialtiesnServices/ClinicalSpecialties/Surgical/OnG/

 

[pinkpixel]

Hi Bubbleteahut,Avocado,
Thanks for the info....everytime when I got pregant, I'll go to the toilet countless times in a day to check for spotting. Once I saw the spotting....I kind of knew that I will not make it. Sigh..soon I will be TTCing again and have to go through all the worry again.

Hi cynn,
The TCM doctor is Dr Tan Kian Sing. His clinic is in Clementi & contact number is 68723237

 

[pinkpixel]

Hi Gals,
One more question. Since my latest m/c was due to extra chromosome in the BB, would the PGD IVF help?

 

[wtpooh]

Sweetie,

The JE TCM.

Ying Chuan chinese medical hall
Chinese Physician : Tan Lee Kee
Add:blk 202 jurong east street 21 #01-117 s 600202
Tel:6897 5655
NoTE: No booking got to queue for number. Do go there as early as 5AM cos the clinic open at 7AM to 4pm Wed to Sun. Public Holiday 6.30am to 12pm

Mala,

Thks for ur info & encouragement. I believe god will give us a healthy bb. Its a matter of time.

Avocado,

Ur hubby SIL is damn bad. As a women too, she shouldn't have say such words. She maybe lucky in her pregnancy but doesn't mean luck is always on her. Definitely, one dae she will rec'd her retribution. Mine hubby SIL knew abt mine m/c. But she didn't ask me or say anything. She bought me fish essence as she knew I can't take chicken essence. She m/c once after her first child hence she can understand how I felt.

Bluberi

my supervisor always stop colleagues from tapping my shoulder cos she say if one dae i get preg. Afterall, is pang tang.

bb08,

Next preg, I will definitely not let anyone and to be mum thru out the 1st trimester. btw, wat do u mean by natural m/c ?

 

[avocado]

wtpooh,
very keen to try the tcm u recommended but it is reali too early to queue.Does she reali has so many patients everyday?

I reali so envy u,ur SIL is reali so nice to u.Unfortunately,both my SIL(my bro n my hb side)one of the "kind".Both very selfish n self-center,yet,they r very very good lives,hv maids n inlaws to help them.

bubbleteahut,
my gynae is always busy.He doesn't tok a lot oso,so sometx i find it difficult to dig out more info fr. him.But i've to stick to him for the time being bcoz he did dne for me.

pinkpixel,
ur case is same as mine,triploidy is an accidental event,there is no increased recurrnce risk in future preggie.A woman who has one triploid preggie is not at any increased risk to hv a 2nd one.So I don't tink it is necessary for u to go for PGD,IVF.IVF is a costly n tiring procedure.

I've booked an appt to c Dr Tan for the 1st time end of this mth.Understand he is good treating infertility,is he good at treating ppl like me who has m/c?how is his medication?Is it in tablet or powder form?

 

[avocado]

donkey,
the chromosome test is not under any package.U can discuss wf ur gynae b4 requesting for the test for the fetus.I wasn't aware abt such test oso n my gynae didn't mention abt it for my 1st m/c.Tat's why i didn't do the test for my 1st m/c.

After my 1st m/c,i did some research,then realise abt such test.Thus,I requested for the test for my 2nd m/c.Normally,gynae will not do anything to investigate the m/c,unless it happened twice.They believe it is a random event n will nt happen,thus,no point spending time n money on the test. Secondly,the gynae won't earn anything by helping u to do the tests.

I still stick to my gynae coz he has my medical n test reports.Furthermore,my chromosome result shows tat mine is chromosome disorder n it cannot be prevented,so no point spending $$ now n go for gynae who specialise in high risk preggie,unless i preggie again.

U can try Dr TC Chang n Dr Paul Tseng fr. TMC.Heard they're very experience(i've not visited them b4).If i am not mistaken,Dr TC Chang was once head of fetal medicine at KKH or SGH. I tink he would b able to help u coz i tink ur case might b more related to fetal health.

 

[avocado]

wtpooh,
natural m/c means let the m/c happens by itself,by nature.Actuali i wanted to opt for natural m/c for my 3rd preggie.My gynae said it is advisable to hv natural m/c if the preggie is few weeks old.
Eventually,i still hv to go for dne bcoz my bb oredi has a heartbeat.I guess my gynae oredi suspected my baby is abnormal,coz he wasn't growing,but has heartbeat(sound scary).So he suggested i terminated the preggie once the heartbeat slowed down(the radiologist hardly can detect the fetus heartbeat n my gynae suspected it could b my heartbeat).
Everything sound very scary..luckily my gynae was very "steady".He kept telling me to trust him.I know he has tried his best to save my preggie.When he saw my sore red eyes,i could sense his sympathy.Though there was a lot of patients,he came out fr his room n console me.This time,i didn't cry loud when gynae confirmed my bb has gone.My hb wasn't wf me.I came out of the gynae room then went out fr. the clinic n cried.Then i wiped my tears n went bk to clinic to prepare all the documents b4 the surgery.Tat was the moment when my gynae knew i was extremely upset.I guess...he thought i could handle my sadness.
Few weeks after my surgery,my hb's SIL still has the cheek to call n ask me:"hey,i've a relative who preggie n now has spotting,can i ask her to call u since u hv m/c TWICE n expert in this area?"

 

[grace77]

Avocado - Wah!!! all the kind of nonsense ur SIL gives you! wat a bitch!!! i would be so super affected and flared up...

Donkey - sorry to hear about what happend to you..

 

[avocado]

hi Donkey,
here is a website fyi:
http://www.babycenter.com/204_obesity-may-raise-the-risk-of-stillbirth_5213535.bc

 

[sweetieminnie]

Hi pegsfur,
You are a very brave gal.my tears keep rolling down during my confinement now.it's just too sudden n raw. all my baby clothes n stuffs were sneakily donated away by our parents. however, i still feel remorseful for not holding n dressing her up, taking a picture, insisting on burial or even a niche after cremation,keeping her ashes in an urn i/o of scattering it into the sea,attending her cremation.. as i've opposed to all these..but his family insist it's for the best..i think i'll live with regret..

Hi avocado,
Your SIL is really evil.. but i believe, luck is not always on her side. it would at your side very soon.

Hi donkey,
when i read ur post, my heart cries with u. *hugs* do take care and we are on all ears.

Hi wtpooh,
thanks. The tcm, i've been there once but that was before am married..as i stay close by.
It's really a super long queue..

 

[funne]

ladies, when's the best time to try again after M/C?
some told me can start after 1 cycle, some said 3 cycle and some even said 6 cycle..

 

[irenegg]

I guess every women body is different. I ever heard someone got pregnant 1 month after DC. very fast isnt it? for me i feel 1 month the body still weak. Chinese tcm doc told me the cycle after DC usually is not counted.

Funne.. u can try any time when u feel u are ready... just be very careful because usually after M/C, the womb is rather 'cold'.

 

[lohalo]

Hi Pinkpixel,Sweetie,Avocado,Bubbleteahut n
Aileen,

Thanks for the encouragement and support you gals have been giving. In fact, I think I was able to cope better after letting out all the yuan(4) qi(4).

Gals...any idea whether i should start to c a gynae or doc that duel with infertility. Cos after my 1st m/c, I needed almost 4yrs to hv a 2nd bb. But halfway thru' ,I did took clomid n injection (to push the egg out for ovulation as I do not ovulate even I got my AF) but after that got preggie (sac sighted) but somehow, the sac disappeared on the 2nd day..reason unknown..

 

[pegsfur]

Hi ladies,

Anyone tried the ovulation microscope? It seems that it's more accurate at pin-pointing ovulation. Was thinking of getting 1 ... what do u girls think?

http://www.budgetfertility.com/fertilefocus.htm
http://www.fertile-focus.com/ovulation-microscope.html

 

[wtpooh]

Avocado,

Yup the TCM really got many patients daily esp it doesn't open on monday & tuesay. Also, thu noon is specially for japanese women.

Ur SIL is really bad. Don't care too much abt her just think tat she is singing. U are fortunate to have one child as compare to me. Mine first try and then m/c. So beri upset.

Also, i can understand how u felt at ur gynae place. My heartbeat run fast when I rec'd the call from the clinic. Then gynae confirm tat mine HCG drop and then announce m/c. Immediately, after i put down the phone. I start to cry. I couldn't stop but tell mine bb tat it is fate tat he/she cannot be mine child. I did not give up but is mine bb who hve given up. My sister told me that I pray hard for a bb & as promise, god gave me one. But he has no choice to take away from me as the bb is not forming well. I do agree I am really angry wif god at the moment when i realise mine bb gone. But hearing my sis encouragement. I realise that its better to take away from me nw rather than in the next few mths then gynae realise that the body not forming well. I will suffer more at tat moment. So i believe god will give us one but its juz matter of time. And he wants to give us the best. So he has to take away the little ones that are not healthy. So lets cheer up & jia you.

 

[wtpooh]

Sweetie,

maybe u can try to visit the TCM again in JE. I believe she will help.

 

[pinkpixel]

Avocado,
Agree with the rest.Your SIL is a real BITCH!

Anyway, I always believe that you will always get back what you gave out.

Yup, Dr Tan is supposedly expert at fertility. He told me that last mth, 8 of his patients got pregnant. I am not sure if he can do any wonder for cases like ours, but I thought no harm trying. So far, his treatment on me is all aimed at streghtening the womb & body. The medication comes in the form of tablet & powder, so no need to brew. He will prescribe medication for short periods, e.g. before AF & after AF. Let me know what you think after you consult him.

 

[avocado]

pinkpixel,
do u nid to bring any medical report to c him?Last time,I used to seeing Eu Ren Shen.But I couldnt tak the medication coz i've sore throat,then ended up viral infections thrice.So I stopped going bk.Do u feel heaty after taking his medicine?ok,i'll update u after seeing him.

thks for consoling words...hmm...the sight n voice of his SIL make me sick.After my m/c,my MIL secretly made some tonic soups for me n she happened to find out.Then she told my MIL tat it is not necessary to "bu" after m/c coz baby oredi gone n i didn't go thru labour process.

Wtpooh,
can TCM at JE accept pre-appointment?
U r rite...i mean,we've to accept the fact tat the baby not forming well n sooner or later,he/she will be gone by nature.But afterall,he/she is still our precious baby,though only survived for few weeks.I told my hb:yes it is true tat the baby is abnormal n no pt keeping,but i can't help to feel sad coz he was once in my womb,alive n has his heartbeat."I don't know how to describe...we know the fact tat the baby is gone...but he was once part of my lives,it is not easy to let go.

 

[funne]

IR, thks!
what do you mean by "womb is cold"? any food to warm it?
i just had d/c last wk. only cater the confinement food.
i still cry when i think about it.
i know i have to let go.. but..

 

[bb08]

funne
i got pregnant after my 2nd AF and has successfully given birth liao... i read in most books saying that longer time not only help u to prepare physically and emotionally...

like other gals, i'm also afraid to try as i dun want the tragedy to happen again... however, i also very stubborn.. i know the only way to heal my wound is to get pregnant again...

during my M/C mini confinement, my mom cooked the black chicken essence with martel to 'heat' up my womb... but i stopped taking when i eat my TCM's capsule cos he said too 'bu' if combined together...

 

[bubbleteahut]

Hi Pinkpixel,

U r most welcome. And yes, like Avocado said, pgd wif ivf is not useful for u since u hve no prob conceiving naturally and the mc is by chance. Pgd more meant for pple who have high chance of having chrosomomal abnormal bb and ivf for those who find it hard to conceive naturally.

Pegsfur, i have not used the microscope before but i have two frds who use it. One said its really useful as she could see her saliva ferning but the other bought it and it did not work for her (no ferning pattern seen for her). So its not 100% reliable for everyone.

Funne, womb is cold in my understanding scientically should mean that the uterus has suffered tramua and has more difficulties than before in formiing the lining necessary to nuture a baby. Food to warm it after mc will be food that replenishes proteins and irons such as chicken essence and red meat/dark green vege but don't forget ur vitamins when u eat all these heaty stuff. And TCM helps to regulate hormones and these hormones help to form the lining. Avoid cold drinks during 1st month also k.

Wtpooh, Avocado and, I suppose what we r going thru is very naturally. The fact that our bbs are unhealthy do not make our bbs less our bbs. They r still our flesh and blood and if we don't feel any pain for them or love them, no one will. For instance, I still cry when I think of my two bbs alto I know they r unhealthy. It was my 1st bb's EDD a few days ago and I told my hb i wanted to get a little flower to throw into the river to tell her we love her. My hb bought one sunflower on his way back fr a gathering. Initiately I thot he bought it becoz he remembered I asked him to. But later I found him kept repeating eric clapton's "tears in heaven" on his ipod. From that I know he loves and never forgets our bb even after 7 months and never will. Its relatively easier for us gals to express grief but fathers also suffer a lot after mc but its really a silent sorrow for them.

 

[avocado]

bubbleteahut,
if i didn't lose my 2nd bb,i would b probably prepare to give birth next wk

my 2nd bb EDD is a wk later than my son.At that time,i was thinking how nice for both of them to celebrate b'day 2gether.
Ur bbs will always hv the pl in u n ur hb hearts.Somehow,i don't understand why god gives us the bb but tak him away.At times,i feel very unfair...we love n devote ourselves so much to give the best to our child.I'm very much of "hands on" mother n willing to sacrifice for my son...unlike some of the parents which i notice ard my neighbourhood,they leave their children to their maids.Sigh...

Funne,
U can try cooking danggui+lean meat to bu ur womb n replenish the blood which lost during d&c.

 

[funne]

thks everyone!!
although my pregnancy was only 6-8wks old. the nurse said nothing was form except blood when gynae did the d/c.
but still.. it's our baby..

 

[pegsfur]

bubbleteahut,

Tks for your comments ... Do you know which brand were your friends using? Did they buy it locally or overseas? I'm quite tempted to try as I find those ovulation strips very troublesome.

 

[pinkpixel]

Avocado, Bubbleteahut,
I attended a friend's son 1 year old birthday this past Saturday. It took me all the courage in the world to attend the party cos she got pregnant the same time as me ( during my 1st pregnancy). If I had not had that m/c, my child would also be celebrating. I made myself attend the party cos I want to face it, and not forever dwell on the past. At the party, I felt like an outsider, cos everyone else either had babies in their arms or little toddlers running around. Worst still, I saw another friend who is pregnant and her EDD would be the same as mine if I have not lost my 2nd BB. But at the end of it all, I told myself that life will still have to go on, with or without a child......so since life goes on, its better to lead a happy life rather than sad life.

 

[pinkpixel]

Avocado,
For my case, no heatiness from taking the TCM medicine.

 

[bluberi]

hi ladies..

3wks passed since my D&C.. super sian coz i keep on hearing my frens getting preggie after i gt M/C. beri envy n upset at the same time. tonite seeing TCM again. it has been a weekly routine since my D&C.

 

[avocado]

hi pinkpixel,
i once went to temple n there was this man told me tat if bad thing happens onto u,it doesn't mean it is bad.If good thing happens onto u,it doesn't mean it is good forever oso.
At tat time,i was very depressed coz i ended 7yrs of r/s.I was in a loss,didn't where to go.I couldn't understand n find any answer for my failed r/s.It took me mths to accept n let go.
After tat,i met my hb n married shortly.Then I realise how bless i am coz my hb is surely much more beta than my ex.Finally,i understood wat he meant.
I can understand how u feel...in this society,ppl will look at u differently if one is:
1) old but still single
2) married fr. years but childless
3) hv a child oredi but ask u to hv 2nd one
4) doesn't travel overseas during school holidays
5) whose hb is well-off but how come still working
6) well off but still stay in flat but not condo
7) not sending the children to tuition or enrichment classes
8) works as admin asst yet u've a degree
etc...etc...etc...
U do not nid to feel u r outsider,pinkpixel.Think abt the freedom u've now n enjoy ur couplehood life.My hb n me hv not gone out for movie even since my son is borned.Ur life will b a drastic change once u've kid...not enuff sleep,no time to watch fav tv shows,double the hseworks...
Count ur blessing n enjoy wat u've now.Go shopping,yoga,travel....like wat u said,life still goes on...cheers

 

[irenegg]

That means... avocado.... you are very lucky and blessed. Someone up there is watching over you. Because marrying the wrong guy can be suicidal. And l'm very glad to hear that ur DH is someone u can rely on. You are indeed a fortunate woman.

 

[bubbleteahut]

Hi Pegsfur,

No problem, have checked with frds and they r using "Focus Personal Ovulation Microscope" and the brand is "babystart". They bought from the singapore yahoo auction site apparently at abt SGD60.

Avocado, yeah, in this world, 1 + 1 never equates to 2 unlike what we learnt in school right. Besides all the sadness, it is also very frustrating but like u said loh, life is so unpredictable so by putting in all the hardwork (I can really see ur hardwork too), lets hope very hard that we can be very "xifu" at our deathbeds

Pinkpixel, can fully understand the overwhelming emotions when u attended the party. Its made worse when all the dates coincide. But u r absolutely rite to think since must keep going, might as well live happily. And alto I don't know u in person, but to me, u r already a mom and a good mom to ur two bbs seeing how much u miss them. U know, I know, u r not an outsider loh.

bluberi, diligently going to TCM is the 1st step to a successful preg next time and with such diligence, u sure can have successful preg ahead!

 

[avocado]

IR,
haha..don't tink i'm lucky at all...i just count my blessings each day.I feel very contented of seeing the ppl who i love n care, r happy n healthy

Think my hb's SIL is very lucky,she doesn't nid to do any hsework nor tak care of her kids...all she nid to do is to shout n instruct the maid.Her hb dotes her..they traveled few times per yr.She is leading a typical tai tai life...I'm nt envy or jealous...somehow,i feel,she oredi so good life but why she still always interrupts my life.

 

[sweetieminnie]

when i read all your posts, i wanna cry again..
The SOP consolation words, e.g 'you are still young..can try to conceive again..' however, in our hearts, it's the agony of losing the precious child of ours (and a fully formed baby of mine)..tt's ripping us apart ..it's hard to explain to some1 who is not in our shoes.. people still ask me if i'm anxious as the date draws near..i don't kw how many times must i go through this.. it's so heartbreaking to reply their sms with the same story umpteem times..

 

[pinkpixel]

Dear Gals,
Thank you for all the encouragement. We are all in the same "boat" , one way or another.Lets look forward & not backward.
Actually, I am quite sure that each one of us is blessed in a different way. I give thanks for the fact that I have a supportive & loving DH, a good job, a comfortable house...the list go on. For now, let's concentrate on building up our health so that our next pregnancy can be a successful one.

 

[lolo]

Hi gals,

Today my ex-colleague asked when I deliver. My EDD supposed to be end of this month if my baby still with me. huh... have to repeat my story again.

Next time if I pregnant, I think I will not tell anybody except my husband. Coz if fail again, no need to explain to the whole world. Super sian!

 

[lolo]

Hi avocado,

Totally agree with you. Curiosity can kill a cat. People tend to ask questions when they look at you differently. So the person being asked has to go and think of an answer lor. Best is record down the answer so next time other people ask a same question again, can replay.

 

[mricky]

My heart goes to all of you. I had my 3rd attempt at IVF with KKH. The 1st 2 were done by Dr Sheila Loh who has joined Raffles Hos. Both ended in failure i.e. didn't manage to conceive. The 3rd one was done by Dr SF Loh. He was pretty good and gentle - one problem, he has too many patients. Anyway, my 3rd attempt was successful but i started spotting one day after my BHCG blood test. I tought I have miscarriaged but I actually had an ectopic preggie. It was ard 6 wks that Dr Loh did a surgery to remove it and also my left tube. The surgery picture showed lumps of blood cells but I knwo those were my 2 embryos. Till now whenever I tik of them I cry. feeling tired all the time. Dunno if shd start another rd of embryo tsfr after my nexta appt with SF Loh next mth....... any TCm around the eastern part tat anyonen can recommend. Used to go "tong ji" but gotta go early and wait very very long. oso, any food I must take?????

 

[wtpooh]

Mricky,

U been to tong ji, how is the queue like ? wat time did u go ? I am thinking of goin there to bu mine body.

 

[wtpooh]

Avocado, the TCM at JE cannot pre-appoint. Got to queue n take no same as some of the TCM. I know of one at Upper THomson very famous too. But also muz take number. I got 2 colleagues m/c then go their pregnant. One of them even got 2 kids nw.

 

[funne]

sweetie, same.. lots of ppl telling me i'm still young.. can always try again.. but they just don't understand how we feel..

i think for next pregnancy, i wouldn't want to tell anyone also..

heartpain and cried again badly last night.

 

[pegsfur]

bubbleteahut,
Oooh ... thanks for checking the information for me, really appreciate that. Mmmm ... think i'm gonna get 1 to try lah.