Support group - Miscarriages

after my mc, i was worried my cycle haywire, so i tested for 10 days and subsequently narrow down to 5 days. If you are not sure when you O, can try testing for longer period. The next month, u will roughly know which period to test.

irene, a good break does all of us good. Have a long and relaxing one before bb arrives! If not like me now.. wanna go batam for spa also cannot. worry about bryan everyday!
 


Hi bb08 dear,

Gong xi!!!!! Enjoy your pregancy
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Rest as much as possible. Take Medical leave to rest if needed, nothing is more important than your baby.

I will only try for baby next feb after my NZ trip. Now saving hard for rainy days.

It is God's will whether will i be blessed with any kids.
 
stefie2104, thank you thank you! i will be patient for bryan to come home from NICU.

Dun worry, u will be blessed with kids. see the bb boom in this forum?? it's happening k? must believe and try smartly!
 
stefie2104, thank you thank you! i will be patient for bryan to come home from NICU.

Dun worry, u will be blessed with kids. see the bb boom in this forum?? it's happening k? must believe and try smartly!
 
stefie... i gg nz in jan, u gg in feb... maybe we will both come back with a great pleasant surprise!!

Xbliss... jia you jia you!!

xuanting, i manage to contact seller already, do u still wan the O-stripes? let me know the qty soon k? cheers..
 
Hi Irene dear,

Let's make babies in NZ. I think mine will be quite stress, Parent-in-laws going. And it is quite normal for them to quarrel during trips and my MIL super stickly with me, my FIL will be left alone.

The last trip we brought my MIL to Perth, she cried for 2 hours and complaint non-stop when back to hotel and my hubby got to sayang her (Cos she brought her work stress to the trip and she time it was our fault to make her angry). Scary.

Ever since that trip, i have not planned anything with her. I am taking this NZ trip as a wasted trip, just to please my hubby. Yes $3K just to please him.

I'm trying TMC from Bt Batok to prepare my body for next prenancy. So good, more than enough time before next "mission"

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Hi Irene,

You do not require a visa if you are not staying longer than 90 days in NZ. I'll answer the rest of your questions via PM.

Think the reason why more people conceive during the colder months is cos it is too cold to venture outside so people stay home ... hehe
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Hi xbliss,

It's heartening to know that Bryan is progressing well. I'm sure God will bless him and he'll be home by Christmas.
 
Hi Stefie,

Sorry to hear that your MIL is a dampener. Hope you are booking separate suites instead of sharing the 2-bedroom suite, so at least you will have your own private space. Perhaps your parents-in-law may chill out looking at the beautiful mountains and lakes!
 
hi gals,
I'm actually looking forward to the taiwan trip that i'm planning to go (end of the month, my O period). U KNOW WAT, my sister in law SAID she WANT TO FOLLOW.... and she is single, so NO BF to go, NO friends to go with her, she will be sleeping with us... CAN U IMAGINE??? in the end, i got no mood... and say got other commitment.... and NOT going to taiwan anymore. I'm super upset..........
 
Thanks Michelle and kit_mum2b, at least it makes me feel much better (Like i very bad to my MIL).

My hubby is booking, 1 room with 2 bedroom (Cheaper mah, cos he is paying for my FIL).

The other way to cancel this trip is i try to get pregnant before the trip (I'm so bad). My hubby is very careful now, he uses birth control.

She is really very difficult person to handle. But she really sayang me more than her own. But really trying hard to be as nice as possible. Hope she be more sensitive during our trip......
 
Hi kit_mum2b dear,

Maybe can plan for a get away without telling anyone, just yourself and hubby. Your SIL is like my MIL so insensitive, stick out like sore thumb and very big lamp post.

Why they can't understand what is couple time? What is romantic holiday? What is BB making get away? How to be romantic with 3 person?
 
hi irene, thanks for making the arrangements. can you order 10 strips for me please? thanks!

hi stefie, try not to have any negative expectations about the trip so you don't start your vacation in the wrong mood and end up being the stressed party this round; who knows, your mil could be feeling really really bad and embarrassed about the last trip and can't wait to undo that impression by behaving really nicely this time.
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kit, is your sil a youngster and rather used to tagging along with your husband? maybe for your next trip you could tell everyone it's a mini honeymoon of sorts so no one will expect to come along with you?

xbliss, glad to hear that bb bryan is doing well.
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how about you? are you getting enough rest with the daily commute?
 
xuanting,
she is ard my age (older than me by 1 year). I guess is that she is in-experience (never had a bf before, cos she din continue her studies after P6)... so she is rather insensitive towards this kind of thing..
we can't keep it from her one... she sure find out, if she find out... even worst...
 
hi stefie,
she might think that me everyday face my hb i guess....
its not the first time she be lamp post.... last year we went hokkaido, she went there too, 3 of us.... may be she addicted to san ren xin.....
 
hi everyone, been reading this thread for a while but haven't had the heart to post... i lost my baby boy at 22 wks, due to complications after my a tear in my water bag at 20 weeks. glad to have a support group for mummies like us who have suffered the painful loss

michelle, good to see you here
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Hey stefie, hope u can take it easy k? frankly I cant even go for a trip with my folks together, so I can imagine how hard it is for u, esp when you hubb would be sandwiched, and the 2 folks arent exactly lovey dovey about the birth control, is it condoms? u can poke holes!! (hee, last time my friend teach me one, poke condoms with sterilized needles, should got chance cos sperms very tiny)

Hubby and me not using any contraception liao, if i strike before the trip, then so be it. I think hubby also kinda know my plan, so we still hv not booked the air tkt and trip yet. I am thinking of seeing a TMC from toa payoh, but I hv to quietly see, cos my hubby dun like..


Michelle, u got a super valid point haa especially if the shops close early


Kit_mum2b, u really not gg for the trip?? how about staying in separate rooms? Where got SIL want to share room with u one? and do u think u can arrange the hotel rooms on different floors if u still going?


Xuanting, will order 10 for u will let u know when i rec it, then mail to u k?


Patsy hugz
 
Thanks Irene dear.

I have no choice but to let my PIL go with us cos i believe in what goes around comes around. Next time i also would love my son and DIL will let me join them in for holidays.

Last year we also went on trip with my family, no one want to take care of my mom. In the end she sleeps with us (Yes 3 person 1 room). My mom quite troublesome, cannot be left alone in the room, need to be accompanied everytime. My hubby also bear with her. So i should do the same with his parents.

I don't have the heart to do that to my hubby. My last pregnancy was a bad one, cos my hubby not ready for baby also, lousy co-worker and many factors. I guess the baby also scared already, daddy don't love me and mommy so stressed.

My hubby cannot accept my pregnancy. I am even prepared not to have baby if he is not ready, parenting is never easy. It is also not fair to the baby, and also not fair to me (I am daddy and mommy role since he is not ready).
 
Patsy dear,

Sorry about your lost. We also went thro the same pain and hurt as you. Only time can heal the pain. I had D&C in Jul-07 cos baby no heartbeat (12 weeks).I believe in everything happen for a reason. Take care.

Do talk to any wonderful and lovely ladies here
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Hi xuanting dear,

thanks. I am quite negative at times. And now i get scare and worry easily. Am trying hard to be positive.

Thanks again
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HI Kit, the other option is to tell her u 2 are not going and book it silently lor. If not, then tell your sister in law u 2 are trying for a baby. honest and not hurtful mah.. isn't it true?

Stefie, tsk tsk, i know what u mean. My PIL always tag along for every trip i go with hubby, except our honeymoon. We will stay separate rooms.. of cos them going kind of make us a little not so in the mood cos have to care for them, suit their timings, etc. But i make it a point to tell myself that i must be happy and do whatever i like (to the best of my ability) so i can relax and be happy. otherwise, what's the point of travelling!? Also, is hubby ready this time round? My MC last year has taught my hubby to love the bb even more cos it's hard to come by..he started "talking to the babies" in the second trimester.. previously he kept saying bb can't hear while inside tummy. Seeing and playing with my sis in law's kid also makes him more ready. Give them time.. i think most men are engineered to be without paternal instincts (correct me if i am wrong) but they can learn along the way if there is chance. Even if he is not ready, u are. As long as u are prepared to handle the bb (singlehandedly or not) when he/she is out, you can enjoy the pregnancy and not be stressed.

To all of you planning for trips, dun worry about O or not.. just go enjoy. Bring the O strips along, and if u bingo, then good! Dun be so stressed.

Patsy, *hugs*. I understand how it feels to lose a baby, and especially a boy. I lost my first boy at 19 wks and subsequently second boy in my recent pregnancy (i had twins and one of them didn't make it at birth). Not that i am being old fashion and showing favoritism, but the pressure from the in-laws and older generation is great cos we lost their grandson. They feel sad and disappointed not in you, but the fact that they can't "carry grandchild" (chinese way of saying). Do come here and let it out if you need or PM anyone of us. If you read through the archives, you will see all our stories that we are all trying to put behind and start afresh. Do have a mini confinement and Don't be afraid to cry if you need. It helps.
 
Hi Patsy,

I'm glad you found avenues to express your grief. It's tough to have to go through this. I hope you are feeling a tad better. Do let me know if you feel like meeting for a cuppa - Sundays are fine too, if you are passing by my place. Rest well and nurse yourself back into the pink of health so you can try again.
 
Hi Stefie,

Do remind your husband to book suites with either 2 bathrooms or a detached bathroom - not a 2 bedroom with an ensuite cos it means your parents-in-law will have to enter your bedroom to use the bathroom!!

I'm sure if your MIL gets the hint that you and your husband may be trying to conceive, she may take the initiative to give you more space! Good luck! NZ is a beautiful so at the very least, try to enjoy yourself.
 
Thanks Michelle dear,

We went there for Honeymoon
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Lovely place, its like heaven.

Will have to "force" myself to enjoy since i have paid for my share. To me $3K is quite alot, cos my pay quite low and with that sum of $$$ i might as well save it for my Baby fund (I would love to "spolit" my baby, and give as much as i can afford a good life)
 
Hi xbliss dear,

my hubby is never ready. Still like a baby. He sometimes is like big "baby". His temper getting worst, so am I.

He seems to be slowly accepting i WANT a baby no matter what. I told him i am trying TCM treatment, he seems to be okay with it. I will wait for another 3-4 months before TTC.

I also have to prepare myself to shut-off from uneccessary stress from work and learn to take thing very very very easy, nothing is more important than having a baby. At the same time building my funds just in case I want to be SAHM. My dream - to take care of my baby myself. hate the idea of MIL taking care of my precious
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hi patsy, i'm sorry to hear about your baby. it must've been very devastating losing him at 22wks. please take good care of yourself while you go through this difficult period. hugs.

hi kit, your sil seems very unaware. how does your husband feel about this? maybe he can talk to her about your need for privacy sometimes.
 
Hi Michelle, yeah... this is a great thread, lots of info on when to expect the AF, confinement stuff etc. Am actually in Manila now coz my mum insists that i have to finish the one month confinement with her here... i'm so sick and tired of confinement food and the herbal tea already
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but i guess i have to recover physically as well as emotionally... loosing 2 in 6 months has been devastating, specially coz Sabie's birthday was 5 days after my miscarriage. I'll drop you a line when I get back and let's have a cuppa, would love to meet Ian finally!

thanks xuanting... the gyne did warn us that the prognosis wasn't good when my water bag broke at 20 weeks, so I guess I was somehow able to prepare myself, was still a great heart ache when Sean came out and the gyne put him on top of me... coz he was alive and had good heartbeat but his eyes were just not yet developed so the neo natal doc said it would not be advisable to try to save him coz he would have been blind the rest of his life. I guess I'm just shell shocked coz i've lost 2 babies in 6 months coz my eldest passed away last April at 17 months old...

good luck Stefie!!
 
Hello Xbliss...

sorry for replying late.. i went for a cerclage on the 29Oct... only manage to log in when today when my hubby step out to do marketing. Suppose to rest more as on and off still hv pink discharge. I am @ 14weeks now and hope i make it this time. Hope all is well wz you gals... and i am happy to hear so many good news.

Hello Pasty

I am sorry for your loss... I know is not easy as i lost 3 in 1yrs too.... dun give up... keep trying and the time will come eventually. God bless.
 
hi stefie,
i have been seeing dr su at bt batok too! but recently i have stopped... may be i shd start going to see her again...you stay at bt batok???

Irene,
my SIL is just like Stefie's MIL... stick to us one.... she dun want to be left alone in a room....she scare... if she sleeps in separate rooms, i really dun mind her joining... but....
anyway now i use excuses telling her that i got other things to do in singapore and can only go taiwan in dec (i dun want to miss my O period in nov), since she can't go in dec...then we'll have our couple time....... however..... tat will not be my O period liao....
 
hi xuanting,
thanks for ur advice...
i have actually told her tat i'm planning for bb.. but she seems to be unaware of our precious timeline... sigh..
 
hi gals,

ask u all hor... if i tested positive on the O strip in the morning... if i BD at nite... did i miss my ovulation? how long will the ovulation take place?
 
Dear Patsy... I am really sorry for your loss, it mus hv been hard for u... when i had to go for DnC, my gynae told me to look forward, dun look back.. but its really hard at times.. my baby would hv been delivered last week.. i always think about how life would hv been different with him......... u mus tk gd care and recover and when u are ready, u can try again... Look forward k...

Hi Angela, pleeeeeeeeease rest!! lots and lots of rest k? HUGZ HUGZ HUGZ..
 
Kit_mum.. possible to tell her again? or ask her to plan evening programmes from 7pm-midnight, cos u would have to lock her out... sorry if i sound real mean... but BD is paramount !

I do not know about how the O strip works... did u also test with the strip yesterday? was it positve too?

I am trying to chart my temp, so I understand that the best chances of fertility window is to BD 2 days before and on the O day itself.. and typically, an egg would be able to survive for up to about 48 hrs..

I found this:
When is the best time to have intercourse?
The three days immediately after a positive test represent the best time to have intercourse and increase the probability of getting pregnant. The first or second day will account for the day prior to ovulation and the third day should be the day of ovulation.

at http://americanpregnancy.org/gettingpregnant/ovulationkits.html

u might wana check this out too
http://americanpregnancy.org/gettingpregnant/understandingovulation.html

I will be using the temp method & testing with the strip after my mensus this month, pls share if u hv any further advice..?

ALL THE BEST!! Kit_mum
 
i have bought this saliava O kit from online, it just reach yesterday.. so i was figuring when is the best time to bd after i got a positive test in the morning... BD immediately? or BD at nite also can? any timeframe? blur me...........
 
Hi Angela, thank you...I'm sorry to hear about your losses too, hopefully we can encourage each other...

Hi Irene, I know what you mean.. specially on milestones like my eldest girl's birthday, Christmas... not looking forward to CNY 2008 becuase my son would have been born just before then.. and i should have 2 babies by that time... but am keeping faith in God's greater purpose.. hopefully can start trying again next year. Right now still waiting for my first period to come...
 
hi patsy, i remember you from baby ashley's thread now (i hope angie and her husband are keeping well). it's been a tough few months for you with the consecutive losses but you are holding up well and i am very much in awe of your faith and how you so tirelessly helped others who had to walk that same difficult path along. i do hope that you will have a smooth motherhood journey from now on.

hi angela, congrats! i'm really happy for you! do take very good care of yourself and rest as much as you can.
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kit, happy bd-ing and remember your folic acid!
 
I was KS, so when i saw the O kit positive, i BD asap. FYI, my O kit test only the aFternoon urine, so i could only BD at night as i am working. When O is positive, i think there is 24 hours golden period to bd!!

Angela, CONGRATULATIONS and i would love to bring bryan to see you when you deliver. I am so happy for you. I do hope you can take more time off work and rest properly. PLS do eat more for the sake of bb so that he/she has good weight at birth. Please come in to update us and bring more joy and hope to everyone here.

P.S everyone, although i have only delivered a month ago, i am looking forward to having a next bb! ha! the kind of "positiveness" after being able to have 1 child is priceless. Don't give up, everyone!
 
Hi Patsy dear,

Rest well. Only time will heal your pain. Sometimes i do feel like its not fair for us to go thro all these pain and loss, while others can just throw their babies or abortion (unwanted pregancies) or mistreat them.

I think these pain and loss will make us cherish our love ones much much more.

Everything happen for a reason. Only thing can do now is to pray for smooth pregnancies next time round.

Take care
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Hi Angela dear,

Gong Xi!!! Gong Xi!!! Must rest more okay. So happy for you. Praying for you
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God will be kind to you this time
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Hi kit_mum2b,

No, i live in sengkang. Yesterday went to Bt Batok after work (from Changi). Took me 1.5 hrs to reach her clinic.

She is very nice lady. She gave me 1 week medicine, have to see her again next week. Is it normal to see her every week? Cos was hoping she can give me 1 month medicine. But if it is doing some good, even seeing her everyday is worth it.

How much is her charges? My 1 week medicine is $26. I just want to make sure i have enough cash with me everytime.

DOn't be stressed out by the 'O' timing. Just do it and enjoy it, for what you know, your baby will be made in taiwan!!! Hee!! Hee!!! Taiwan is a very nice place. I love the people there, very nice and the food there very nice. I was there in apr-07, am going there again in Dec with my family. It will be cold, so good time to make baby
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Baby dust to you
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hi stefie,
thanks!
when i'm in taiwan... my o shd be over liao.. but never mind... i just relax there and hope can strike soon..
bb dust to u too...
 
Hi Kit_mum2b,

How much is Dr Su charges? My 1 week medicine is $26. I just want to make sure i have enough cash with me everytime.

Sorry to bother you
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TIA
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Hi Irene, xuanting, xbliss, pasty, stefie

thanks for all your wishes.. reali... and honestly this is the only thread i visited as i find we all went thru so much together here... we must all look forward and the day will come. I am very difference in this pregnancy. not as excited as kan cheong as before, just taking each day as it comes as i am scare of disappointment again. The last 2 MC bring so much impact in me... 5months of happiness and lifetime of sadness... so i reali dun dare to hope somuch until i have my bb in my arms. I will still try to stay positive, is just not easy for us somex.. sighz

Dear Pasty

I truely understand how u feel.. is just not easy for all of us here. You know when i had my 3 lost at 21weeks on 28June07, i feel my life is gone. Y? happened again to me.. is a curse or wat.. i even tell my hubby i cant go thru this again anymore.. how many dead bb's i have to see.. i dun wan to try again and lets little life goes like tat. But, after 2 weeks of resting at home, i tell myself i wont give up like tat. Now i know wat is wrong wz me... i want to try 1 last time. I tested positive on 04Aug07, to many, this is very fast... most will say wait for 3 AF etc.. but mine is just after 1 AF... i shd say, if is yours is yours.. so i dint reali took precaution and try to wait. Cos i cant wait.. as i feel lost and lonely after i lost my bb... Is not easy for me actually as ppl around me say so much when they know i am preggie again. I know my body well so i just ignored all their comments. Coming sat will be my 2nd BB Myron's 1 year anniversay.. i lost him at week 17.. he will always be in my mind. (sorry for the long story) in short i just want hope you look forward and the day will surely come.
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Hey Xbliss

Will love to met BB Bryan.. he is a strong bb and i am reali happy for you as you are so positive. Yes i will try to eat more as i know mine will be early.. As long as i cross the 28weeks mark, i am consider stable as even anything happen then, bb at least have a chance. But of cos i hope my bb can stay longer in my tummy..
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my cerclage will be removed at week 35-36 if all is ok... i will stay positive like you. I am rest tillend of Feb next year and go back to work half day in March next year, by then i am 29weeks.. For now i just hope time pass faster :p hehehe!!

Hi Stefie

Thanks for your prayer and baby dust to you too...

Hey Gals....

I nvr use OPK, the only thing i do is BD alternate days 12days after my AF.. and i also follow the chart attached:-

http://www.yourdays.com/index.php?doc=calendarlogin&login=

Hope tat helps.
 
Congrats Angela - lots of good news in this thread recently - hmmm...still don't know when will be my turn..going to see another new gynae after MS come this time - hopefully it will come on its own.

ah_kat
 


Hi xbliss,

so hapi to know that little bryan is doing so well...very soon, u will be hugging him..do remember to take pic to show us k..

Angela.

hihi, reali hapi to know you are preggy..must take care of yourself k..always tok to your bb, tell him/her how much you love them and u want to see them healthy and happy..good to know that you are resting at home liao, just rest and rest!!be positive and u will be hugging your bb soon..
for me, i dun plan for one yet, maybe next year lor..

kit..

juz go and relax lor...have fun and who knows, you might strike..njoy!!

patsy,

so sori to hear about ur loss..reali know how u feel..good to know that you are doing a mini confinement..my mum oso cook for me during that time..i lost my bb when i was 21 weeks due to fluid in his lungs and he cant survive till 24th weeks.went through induced labour in july..
rest well and be positive k..i always pray and ask god to grant us a healthy bb..
 
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