Support group - Miscarriages

hi xuanting, yeah...like stefie says things happen for a reason, maybe i had to suffer the pain to be able to understand what wanting sometimes really means. will pray for everyone here
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Angel and David are slowly getting their lives back on track, Angel posts in the stillbirth and the Christian infertility thread sometimes.

Congratulations also Angela!! I'm sure the Lord will bless you this time, I will keep you in my prayers... take care and do not move around too much. I was also on bed rest for 4 months prior to my miscarriage because of continous bleeding, but no matter what we did, it was just not meant to be.

thanks Nickel... I too will pray that God will grant us all a bundle of joy soon!!
 


Hi Angela,

Congratulations! I had a feeling you may be pregnant cos I remember you mentioned about an appt with your O&G on a Saturday ... and we haven't heard from you since! Hence, I thought no news is good news!
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Hi Patsy,

It's great to be home, like the saying, "Home sweet home". Good that your mum is pampering you with lots of TLC and good food!

We'll be happy to catch up. You are welcome to swing by for a meal or cuppa when you are ready - I could make Soffiato too, if you are allowed chocolate now.
 
Hello Michelle

Thanks... i just feel somex the happiness are short tat y after tat i dint post at all... but later decide to post as i just hope all of us here wont give up trying...

Baby dusts to u
 
hi angela
Congrats! It is good to hear of more good news to encourage everyone here. Stay positive and talk more to your little one inside.


hi patsy
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I had read about baby Sabie and was very sad to hear about her condition. But rest assured both babies Sabie and Sean are safe with God right now.


hi xbliss
Glad to hear baby Bryan is doing well now. I'm sure he will be home with you all in time for Christmas
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dear gals... i am so glad to see so much encouragement going ard..

For new mums.. congratulations... and gd health to mummies and babies..

for the mums to be... pls hv good rests and stay happy...

for the ladies ttc-ing... hope everyone hv fun and hope you will strike soon.

for the ones who has lost our love.. let us be strong and move on, I am sure baby dust would be falling on you soon too.

For my hubb and I, it seems my nz trip is quite confirmed, we are seriously planning our trip... and i hope to get preg in nz.. can't really try now, cos hubb wants to go nz for skiing and rafting... so it really won;t b a gd idea to ttc this month... anyway, its only 1 month more, so i would rather wait till during or after the trip...

but at the same time, i can;t help but wonder if i would really be having my own child in this life time. i am turning 40 in Jan 08... every fortune teller or people who read palm tell me I would hv a son... but will I? ..... I can't help but be anxious... my last lost was a son.. will i still hv another to hold in my arms..? and he will call me mummy? and I can take care of him, gv him my love, parent him... give him an education... and be there for him..
 
Hi Irene,

Don't let fortune-tellers dictate your life. If they can really tell the future accurately, they won't be sitting there reading people's palms!!
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You don't accept PM so I can't answer your questions re NZ. Your husband won't be able to ski cos it's summer when you arrive. Rafting is great fun, esp if you choose the Kaituna River in the North Island - there is a 7m drop off a waterfall. I've done lots of rafting. The rivers in Queenstown are usually only grade 3 (out of 5), so not as exciting but much safer for tourists. Have fun!
 
Hi Irene dear,

Don't give up. I have 1 40 years olf friend who get married last year and just get to know she has just gave birth to a healthy baby.

No worries.They knew how to make you spend $$$ to solve your problems. Mine asked me to pay $900 to change my luck. Heng that time very very poor. Thinking back, it is really blessing.

Don't trust what the fortune teller said. The same fortune teller told me my hubby will have affair that year and my marriage will not work out and i will have no kids. So now i have been married for 5 years (I went to see fortune teller 2 years ago).

Believe in yourself!!! God has planned for us our life. Only time can tell.

Baby dust to you
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Hope to hear good news from your made in new zealand
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Michelle, Kit and Stefie

thank you for your support, I never wanted to believe what fortune tellers say but at certain points when I was down, I would suscept to such comments...

I have heard many who tell me their friends conceive at past 40s, and actually meeting some mothers who start having kids close to 40s. nonetheless I am worried due to my endometrisis about 4 yrs ago...

currently i hv 2 close friends, both 1 yr younger than me, and we are trying tc... we encourage each other and I am also buying the o strips for them... haa

I will continue to hold up... and look forward to my trip...

thank you.................
 
Hi ladies,

Like most of you here, I've just went thru abortion by induced labour last week. My baby was only 21 weeks. This is not my 1st loss, I had a miscarrige last year when i was only 7 weeks as there was no heartbeat.

For this one, my waterbag burst at 17 weeks and after trying and waiting for the waterbag to seal up on it's own, it never did. The doc's advice was to terminate this pregnancy as the bb will not be able to grow healthily, esp the lungs and its limbs.

I went thru induced labour and little Owen came out after a day of labour pain. He was still small but to us, he is a beautiful boy. He looked alot like his daddy.

I'm still trying to cope with the loss and there isn't a night i went thru without tears. I know i have to be strong but it is really hard.
 
stefie,
Dr su charges abt 26 for a week or sometimes $32 (abt 20 packets)for more bu stuff... No nets transaction ... everytime got to pay cash.. very mafan when no cash...
been thinking shd i go back to see her.....

dear gals,
been eating supplement on my own actually... read from website saying that evening primrose can improve the quality of our cervical muscus (help the sperm to swim towards our egg)..so i just bought 1 bottle... dunno tat its so expensive... got a shock.... may be u all can try too! baby dust to u all!
 
dear pegsfur,
so sorry abt ur loss....take ur time to grieve and come here to talk to us... u'll feel better... we all been thru it... we understand ur feeling.

at the mean time, take care of urself and try again when ready....
 
hi pegsfur, i hope you are recovering well from last week's procedure. i'm sorry to hear what happened... did your doc manage to find out why your waterbag ruptured? please take very good care of yourself in the mean time. hugs.
 
Thank you, Stefie dear..

dear pegsfur, i am real sorry for your loss... it is not easy but pls be strong... take very gd care, build your health for the time being... like what kit_mum2b say, allow yourself to grieve, and then move on... hugzz...

xuanting, the seller reverted liao, 10 O stripes for u, yea?
 
hi pegsfur, i know exactly how you feel becasue I've also just gone through something similar though for me, we waited till i went into labour at 22 weeks... take time to rest and recover and try again. The Lord has His reasons and every hurt will make us stronger and will make our babies to come even more precious!! if yo need to talk you can PM me!

Irene, dont' worry, i too am almost 40... as long as still physically able, i won't give up hope of having my own!!

kitmum, wait for robinson's or john little to go on sale, sometimes they have bundle pack cheaper!! i've been taking it and folic acid now too...
 
Hi Pegsfur,

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. It's extra painful when you have the baby in your arms. I hope you will stay strong and recover quickly so you can try again.
 
Hi Pegsfur,

My 2nd MC was almost the same as you. Waterbag bursted at week 17, but during then no more water inside so have to induce. Is not easy for you now... take time to grieve and come here and chat to us more. If you need someone to talk, can msn me at [email protected]
 
Hi ladies,

Thank you for all your support and encouraging words. I will try to be stronger.

xuanting,
My waterbag burst becos of an infection, most probably vaginal infection, which caused the waterbag lining to be weak. On thinking back, i did have an abnormal increase of discharge days before the rupture, but i brushed it off as just hormonal imbalance. Sometimes I blame myself for taking things too lightly.

Patsy,
Yours was not induced?

Angela,
You mean all the water came out when your waterbag burst?

For me, the 1st nite it ruptured, the fluid level decreased to 5 pt. Two days later, the level decreased to only 1. As Owen was still strong & healthy, and i wasn't having pains or bleeding, my gynae sent me home for complete bed rest, hoping that the waterbag will seal up itself. After 2 weeks, the waterbag did seal up some sort and the fluid level rised to 3 pt. We were hopeful and thought we have a chance. Who knows the next day, i was leaking again and the level dropped to 1 again.

My hubby kept comforting me that it was the baby's choice & destiny that he didn't want us as parents. We should let him go.
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hi Michelle, nope, will be going home next teusday.. will spend Christmas in Singapore

pegsfur, yah, i went into labour 2 and a half weeks after having premature contractions brought on by very low fluid (I also had a tear and was on complete bed rest for a long time!!) but after 2 weeks it didnt' seal up and i had contractions and went into labour, and the baby came out naturally
 
Hi Pegsfur

Yes when my waterbag bursted, all water came out.. bb is still strong but there is no more water inside... have to induce if not will cos infections and tat will be bad. But before my waterbag burst, i do experience contractions...Also dunno y like tat but did mentioned perhap due to infection too. Then the 3rd MC in june this year, then say is cervix incompentent.
 
Hi Pegsfur

Please don't think your baby didn't want you as parents. When they come to us, we are already their parents no matter how long they stay. It's God's will that some don't stay too long, but they would have experienced your love while with you. They have left with your love and in peace. Rest well and be strong. Your baby will be waiting to reunite with you in Heaven. I am a free-thinker, but I have come to believe that Life is granted by some one larger than us. Have faith that this too shall pass, and you will become a stronger person. All the mothers here are good examples!!
 
Hi ladies,

I felt better after sharing my experience here with you.

However, yesterday was exactly 1 week i had Owen in my arms .... was feeling quite emotional the whole day but as i was having confinement at my mum's place, i had to control myself and not cry.

Who knows I woke up at 3+ in the morning today and cried uncontrollably as i remembered how i spent the past 4 weeks - waking up in the early mornings crying and worrying abt my baby's fate. The pain might have been lessened if my baby ended the pregnancy himself by miscarriage instead of us making the decision to end it's life. Up till the day that i was to be induced, i was still feeling his kicks and he was still growing healthily in my tummy. This thot pains me the most
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Felt sorry that hubby had to console me even when he himself was sad but i just couldn't control myself.
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hi pegsfur - this is going to be a tough journey -be strong and take all the time to grieve...don't worry too much abt hubby - they are much more practical people who would rather have a healthy wife.

Don't worry - u will be ok soon....

ah kat
 
hi Pegsfur

when I had to choose DnC this April,I was so sad that I din know if I could go on with it... my hubby din really want to talk about it too much,i know he was sad and he din really know how to cope with me being so sad all the time...and it was merely 1 week after my wedding... before that we were all so happy that I got preg after trying for more than a year....

luckily i had a friend to talk to. My friend showed me a different point of view: that this body my baby was having was not suitable for him, so he had to give this one up and choose a better body so that he could maximise his potentials when he is born....

it made me felt better, althou I still tear as I think about him and when I am writing this..

with our courage, I believe we will go far, have faith, my dear gal..

love and peace from mommy.. my dear son... mommy is heart broken to lose you... mommy love you very much...
 
Hi mummies to be,

2 days ago was my son, Bryan's one month. Coincidentally, he was promoted from neonatal intensive care to the Special Care nursery as he has been very stable. While i was so happy for bryan, i was very miserable inside cos i was also thinking how great it could be if i could hold bryan's twin brother, Ryan in my hands too. But i know that's not possible and i wish ryan happiness anywhere he is right now, with his big brother who should be 6 months old by now. I am heartbroken too though everyone thinks i should be happy as i have bryan, but i am glad at least ryan and his big brother are in peace.

For those of you who are new, bryan is my surviving twin born at week 28. He was less than 1kg at birth and has gone through a tough start with all the tubes and needles at NICU. But bryan is a brave boy. He has decided to show his mummy that she needs to be strong for him as well. So please take heart, all mummies here, all your angels would like you to be happy and strong and one day they can come back to us.

I cannot ask you to feel happy but i wish you can cry it out and feel better, like i do here.
 
hi pegsfur, it was a tough decision to make but you did it in owen's best interests. i haven't any religious beliefs but i think perhaps it was an opportunity for him to escape what would have been an unhealthy body and come to you again at a later date, whole and healthy. i'm sure he knows how much you love him and how hard it was for you to let him go. please take good care of yourself in the mean time.

hi xbliss, i'm glad to hear that bryan is growing well in the nursery. will he be going home with you soon?
 
Tks xuanting, for your comforting words. I do feel much more calmer now although i'd still tear whenever i'm alone.

Btw, ladies, how did your hubby cope with the loss? I mean, guys generally kept to themselves and i think alot of them just try not to talk about it. My hubby does the same, and he tried to keep himself busy at work. But at the same time, i know he has been drinking alot at nite to numb himself. So every day he will drink with his friends, get himself drunk, then come and fetch me from my mum's plc at nite. He'd then fell asleep after washing up & watching some tv. I din dare to ask him to stop drinking cos i know that he needs to have an avenue to let it out too.
 
pegsfur,

my hubby lend a lot of support to me. He was devastated when he heard the news. He speaks about it to our buddies. That helped him quite abit rather than bottle it up. Also he got comfort when he heard about a colleague whose daughter now 4 years old had a serious illness and needed for her to fight for her life in ICU. They shared with him on their struggles and devastation as well. I remember the words as isnt it better now for you than to see your child fighting for her life though she is born?

Hubby told me, "i have to be stronger than you. although sad, in order to lift you, i have to stand first. Bcos you hurt more"

Hi all,

We all know it's not easy. But guess time will heal. Im only into a week's of healing process. Sad & upset but getting better, i hope. As we all concluded, it wasnt meant to be.
 
Hi all,

My baby heartbeat stopped last week , but we still hope for miracle as we saw the baby grow during the next day scan. These few days i have been having cramp, i dont know if this mean natual m/c is on its way. My hubby is serving his reservist now and i am all alone at night. I am scared that my baby will just go when he is not around.
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hi ximi,

my hubby was reservist when i had same findings as u.. did yr gynae advise u to go for a D&C?

if u are not convince, go for another scan.. i took 2scan.. before going for D&C.

my husband seeked permission for a day off to accompany me to do the operation..
 
hi persfur, i am so sorry i din reply to your pm. I have been really down physically cos i just went back to work and the hectic schedules are just giving me a headache and of cos not enough sleep.

ximi, yes i always believe in miracles whilst keeping my options open. At the end of the day, i know i will not give up in ttc and will have a child someday. So now i finally have bryan. Pls inform someone who can come in your time of need. you do need to stay positive k? bb can feel your anxiety which is not helpful for him/her. good luck. be praying for you and bb.
 
hi, i came across an interesting article so thot may just share w you guys, no offence intended. i hv not had an m/c but my sis and some frens did and when a fren told me she had this condition (after further testing after recurrent m/c), i thot it was interesting. so sharing w you all only.

Translocation Chromosome

What causes it?
The cause isn't understood but translocation is sometimes linked to exposure to radiation.

Depending on which bit of which chromosome is moved to where, it can result in a wide range of medical problems, such as leukaemia, breast cancer, schizophrenia, muscular dystrophy and Down's syndrome. Miscarriage may occur - in five per cent of cases of recurrent miscarriage one of the parent's chromosomes is found to have a balanced translocation.

Types and severity

Translocations may be balanced or unbalanced

Translocations may be balanced or unbalanced. For example, take a translocation of part of chromosome 21 on to chromosome 14 (the situation in about four per cent of people with Down's syndrome).

In a balanced translocation (found in the parent of an affected child), the person doesn't have any additional genetic material, they simply have a smaller than normal chromosome 21 with a piece broken off, a normal second chromosome 21, a chromosome 14 with the broken piece of 21 attached and a normal chromosome 14. So the person appears entirely healthy.

But when this person makes eggs or sperm there are several possibilities. The normal chromosomes 21 and 14 may be passed on, resulting in a healthy baby. Or the broken 21 and affected 14 may be passed on, resulting in a baby with translocations but no overall change in the amount of genetic material. This baby would be a carrier of the balanced translocation, just like its parent.

But if the normal 21 and the affected 14 (carrying material from the broken chromosome 21) are passed on, there's extra genetic material from chromosome 21 (as the baby will have one normal 21 from each parent as well as the broken piece attached to 14). The translocation becomes 'unbalanced' and Down's syndrome results.

There may be no symptoms from a translocation if it's balanced. Alternatively, if it's unbalanced, it may cause problems incompatible with life, leading to miscarriage of an affected foetus or other major health problems, depending on which chromosome has been translocated.

Who's affected?
One person in 500 is thought to carry a chromosome translocation. In many cases, these are balanced translocations. Unbalanced translocations may account for one in 20 cases of recurrent miscarriage.

How's it diagnosed?
Chromosomal analysis can rapidly reveal a translocation. Antenatal testing may be done using CVS (chorionic villus sampling) or amniocentesis, or pre-implantation genetic diagnosis when a parent is known to carry a balanced translocation.

This article was last medically reviewed by Dr Rob Hicks in July 2006.
 
I will be going for D&C tomolo. My baby heartbeat and growth stopped after convinced by 3 scan and 2 blood test. My hubby has opt to early release for the camp.
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Should i request for further testing? I can only conceived thru IVF
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and i suspect it is something to do with chromosome. I know doc usually wont do test unless after recurrent M/C . I dont know what i should do. I want to prevent and have an answer.
 
ximi, U can still request for test but you will need to bear the cost. i am not sure if they are able to test becos it is still in early stage.

I know how you feel about the uncertainty of being able to conceive and successfully go through pregnancy as my first MC was also suspected to be chromosomal problems. But we can have healthy pregnancies as i did later.

Sometimes, there is no answer at this point. Just persevere and don't give up. I have learnt to let go and try again. Of cos the disappointment and fear is great but you must press on if you love children. Take care. Have a good confinement after the D&C.
 
Hi ximi dear,

Sorry to hear what happen to you. Please feel free to drop in and talk to all the sweeties here.

Do remember to rest well and do mini confinement
 
Hi hi,

I think i am having post natal blues. I was very upset yesterday. Had a bad fight with my hubby yesterday. Cried like nobody biz, screamed like nobody biz. I still miss my baby........

My hubby was shocked to see me like that.

I have being bottle up my sadness that cause the outbust.

Finally calm down after the outbust.

My hubby think that i may need more time to recover before trying again. Or until i am ready.

Trying hard to be positive now.....Pray for inner peace and be very positive.
 
hi stefie,
perhaps u can speak to your hubby about the issue. It helps for me. we just talked about out what is in our minds - our hurt. think that will also help to have a proper closure to this for both of you to move on. and think quite important for a couple to face this tough time together.

take care
 
Hi stefie,

I guess it's normal for us to feel this way. I was feeling very upset today too.

I had to go for my check up today and the mere sight of happy, glowing preggy women going in & out of my gynae's plc was too much for me. When i finished the check up, was going to retrieve our car when i saw alot of mothers, newly discharged from their labour, carrying their precious newborn was the last straw. I burst out crying at the waiting area and my hubby was a little surprised as he thot i had recovered from the loss.

Actually, i've been trying hard to accept the loss but looks like i haven't really gotten over it.

Anything that concerns baby/pregnancy/mothers is enough to make me tear. I could cry when i bathed cos i remembered crying in the shower when we were uncertained abt our bb's fate.

I could cry when my hubby came and fetch me from my mum's plc cos i remembered crying in the car, worrying abt our bb's fate.

Even having my meals cld end up crying cos I remembered all the nutritious food i ate to make our bb grow stronger.

It's really hard, and alot more harder than i thot.
 
Hi pegsfur dear,

Yes it is much harder than i thought too. It has been 4 months, it still hurt badly.

Especially yesterday, cos was reading a blog (Her husband left her for another woman when she is pregnant), was talking to one of my friend (She is very pregnant now) about infant care etc etc and my hubby super busy working schedules (Not much time with me). My hubby can be quite impatience to me. Every bit of that tiggers my outbust. Even my mense can also make me sad.

So i guess some take it much much harder than the rest.

I think we got to take it easy. Be kind to our heart. We can do it. For what you know, we will be happily carrying healthy baby out of hospital.

Cos we will be much much better mothers since we experience loss and pain. Praying for every mothers here. God will be kinder to us next time. Don't give up
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Hi pegsfur,
Hang in there oki?The emotions do tend to get more settled as times go by....I lost my little one at 8weeks (slow heartbeat) in end Jul,and guess wat it was a double gd whammy as we jus got married in Jun.

After tat,for the first 2mths aft the d&c,it was horrible.I cried very often and everytime i see pregnant women,i wanna screamed n kept asking myself,wat have i done or not done to deserve this.And why is everyone so happily pregnant and my little one did not make it.

As times goes by,i realised that God has a purpose for everything,so instead of burying my head in sorrow,i choosed to say a little prayer for pregnant mummies everytime i see them.

Let's take some positives from the situation...at least we knw we can bear children,just not at that time.

Our gynae was very encouraging..this is wat he told us when he saw us after the op..he told us his wife has 3 miscarriages before she gave birth to their son.Tat struck me...he as a gynae cannot even prevent such a thing from happening,wat more us mere mortals-non medical people.He told us not to blame ourselves and instead take joy to know that we can be fertile.

So let's take one day at a time oki?
 
Hi all..been awhile since I posted..back to my stressful and hectic work..staff suddenly resigned and boss dun wanna get an additional headcount so I've to cover her duties on top of my own.. haiz..
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I went to do my follow-up checkup yesterday... the gynae said my ovaries are not strong so I have to take hormone pills to strengthen them before I try to conceive again. He also advised me to take not over-stress myself as it's not good for my ovaries.. just have to pray now as I build up my health more. Wish everyone well! Cheers!
 


hi girls, how is everyone? from my experience, it is normal to feel ok one day, then break down the next!

just wondering how long did your AF come after your miscarriage? It's already been 4 weeks but i still haven't gotten my period... should i get worried?
 

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