Support group - Miscarriages

hi bb08,

I d n c in the beginning of june, my gynae told me can start ttc when first AF came... but i dun dare, i see my chinese sinseh.. and she said i can start ttc when my 2nd AF came... so i'll try when my 2nd AF came end of the month... i guess its up to u whether u r mentally prepare or not.. if u r mentally prepare, then start ttc!!! hope we all strike the same time too!
 


Hi bb08,

If all goes well (i.e. no torrential 1st AF flow and I have somewhat stopped bleeding), then I will start to ttc after 1st AF. My O&G says it is fine to ttc after 1st AF provided the flow is not exceptionally heavy. Dr Tan is very experienced so I trust her.
 
Hi Applemuffin,

I experienced sore breasts only after more than a week after conception so perhaps CD 22 is still early, especially if your cycle is more than 28 days. In both my pregnancies, I did not experience any nausea.

Relax and don't stress about it too much.
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Waiting to hear your good news
 
Hi ladies
Happen that my new colleague oso m/c before.. she say the doc told her she can oni ttc after 1 year.. wa.. really give mi a scare..
 
On Medical leave today.. Having very bad migraine yesterday so hb ask me to rest today. Likely is due to AF, when i am younger, when my AF come, i always have very bad cramp for the 1s 2days. Now older, i get headache and migraine.. sigh...

Hi Nickel,

since you are having crampy feeling, AF should be coming soon. I had tat before AF report. But AF seems short.. 2days only.. today only have dark brownish discharge.

Hi Stefie

Is normal to have discharge from breasts as even mc is like giving birth so naturally our breasts will produces milk.. i have tat oso... dun simulate it ok.. if not it will cont producing...
 
Michelle
Today is the 8th day of my AF but still got abit of discharge...in the past my AF only lasted for 5-6days...

wonder is there any test to see whether our uterus have recovered and we are ready to ttc?

Angela
Hope you are getting better..
 
Hi bb08,

Before my pregnancies, my AF only lasted a week at max. After my first pregnancy, my AF became longer and sometimes, it would stretch to 2 weeks! My O&G said it is normal for it to change after pregnancy.

I would think a scan could possibly show how thick the uterus lining is but am not entirely certain. The lining is shed during the AF so it takes about two weeks to build it up for possible implantation. Best to check with your O&G.

From the medical articles and journals which I have read, it seems there is no difference how many AFs one needs to wait before the next pregnancy. I know 2 people who had successful pregnancies when they conceived after 1 AF.

Hi Angela,
Don't stress too much - the migraine may lessen in intensity if you relax more. Watch comedies. "Laughter is the best medicine"!
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Michelle
I looked up at the internet too and also found alot of articles that support TTC after 1st AF. Maybe will consult my gynae again and if he still ask me to wait for 3 cycles,l will change him liao...

Thanks, gal.
 
hi apple, i didn't go either. i heard the goodie bags are even better than the ones they gave out last year. i'm not ttc-ing yet; 3rd af finishing now but still need to tiao2 and really watch my diet for a while more.

michelle, two weeks of af??!! that's like bleeding half the time!

angela, hope you're feeling better. besides stress, certain food can also trigger/aggravate migraine attacks so you may need to keep a food journal if it persists/recur. in tcm terms, migraines during af points to a certain deficiency, but i can't remember which one. let me go look it up.
 
Hi BB

Feeling much beta today and back to work today. You still having discharge? In fact my AF last 2days only. But all along is like that, not much but will hv brown discharge next few days.

Hi Michelle/xuanting

All along i have migraine.. "peanuts" triggle my migraine actually. When my AF come, i do have that sometimes too... so miserable cos mine was very bad as i throw up all the food i ate.

read about you gals talking when to start ttc etc.. my gynae say as long as i am reali i can start anytime. Some say is best 3months is cos they want to make sure your AF is regulate b4 starting to ttc...i think i will let nature take it causes. If strike good, if not try again. Dun want to stress too much also.
 
Hi..need some advise..
for those have D&C after miscarraige, can you tell me if you can claim the medical bill with either insurance company or from ur working company? Thanks
 
Hi Hope,

As far as I know, not all insurers provide a miscarriage benefit. For example, NTUC Incomeshield does not cover miscarriage. Perhaps you should check with your organisation and insurance company to find out which has the best cover.
 
michelle,
i didnt experience any nausea thru my 3 failed preggies. u reckon what others say about having nausea, MS are better for the preggie?

my temp still riding ok today..still no sign of preggie...saw a few drops of fresh blood yesterday...wonder if it the infection or I clean too hard...

bb08,
yes CD =cycle day.
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after my 2nd mc, i started ttc the next month and got preggie but preggie was short-lived. I guess i would prefer to wait 2-3 cycles for the uterus and womb to rest well and also for the body to produce good hormone. Of coz, there are ladies who strike the mth after D&C and carry bb to full term. I think it is a personal decision to make..but i more kia see after so much bad experience and prefer to play safe.
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Hope everyone is okay.

Today back in office. Glad that my colleagues are sensitive enough not to ask too much. Did tell those who are close to me.

Few of them mention i slimmed down quite fast (and much slimmer than before pregnant). Then i realise it's the red date tea i drink. Only drink that for past 2 weeks, not every plain water. Think will continue for another few months, need to slim down more.

Heard from one mommy, drink water will cause water retention. Don't know true or not. But it seems to (red date tea) works well for me.

In case any one interested:-

- Red dates without seeds - 8 pcs
- Black beans - 50g (Pan fried without oil first)
- Dong sum (Dang shen) - 25g - i put 2 pcs cut into small pieces
- 4 slices of ginger.

Put all into slow cooker + filled with 3/4 water. I put it over night, so next day can drink for whole day (normal tape water). Put on "low" heat

If want faster, put boiled water. Then put on "high" heat, ready by 2 hrs.

- Red date tea is also good for general health.
- Black beans helps in constipation
- Dang shen is good for bu "qi". Good for blood circulation.

This is also good for after mense or during confinement, to bu abit.

Hope that helps
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Hi Applemuffin,

The spotting could be due to implantation! That happens too - and fingers crossed in your case.

What is MS? I had a really easy first pregnancy, no nausea, no cravings, no problems etc. Each body responds differently to a pregnancy. Subsequent pregnancies may be different for the same person too.
 
Hi Stefie 2104
Wau.. ur red date tea so many ingredient.. my MIL cook one not like that one.. tink shou try urs too..

Hi Hope
Tink u have to check ur policy and ur company's HR.. for my case, i cannot claim my personal insurance..
 
Stefie
My mom's recipe is very simple...just longan and red dates... i quite like it cos its sweet and it keep my body warm...but will get alot of pimples also cos its quite heaty..

applemuffin
think my sinseh gave me medicine to regulate my AF and heal the uterus so i can recover faster and ttc soon...as opposed to my gynae, he thinks that we do not need any medicine as the uterus will heal by itself thats why need a longer period before ttc...

sometimes, life really very strange lor...before i M/C, nobody was pregnant...then now, my colleague is pregnant and my best friend also pregnant... really feel happy for them but i just can't smile as i feel sad for myself...thinking that i would be also like them if the thing haven't happen... maybe thats the reason i want to ttc so soon...

Michelle
Think MS = Morning Sickness
 
Hi bb08
My MIL's recipe oso same as ur mum..
I have the thinking as u.. Want to ttc after my AF but afraid my uterus not fully recover..
sad.gif

mayb we can juz let nature takes it course..
 
Hi bb08,

Thanks for the reference.

Still have dark brown discharge - hopefully the last leg of the AF. We are going to ttc after 1st AF. Anyway, it doesn't mean we will succeed.

One of my friends just failed in her 4th and final IUI attempt. So at least we are better off in that we can still conceive naturally. Just have to wait our turn.
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Michelle
My AF is earlier than yours and i also still have the dark brown discharge...

Yippee...at least i feel more confident that someone is going to start ttc-ing after the first AF...
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Hi Angie,

My recipe is not so sweet. Seems to help me to prevent being too heaty.

Hi BB08,

I think Longan very heaty. I have problems when during Red date tea + Longan. Get very heaty and i don't like stuff that are too sweet.

Hi Hope,

I can't claim from company. Cos miscarriage is under the exclusion list.
 
Hey bb08,

Don't forget that there are loads of women in the world who ttc after the 1st AF! We aren't the only ones.
happy.gif
Hope God blesses us with successful pregnancies this time round.
 
Hi bb08
Ya, but still abit hesitating.. *sigh*
so u will start to try after ur AF?

agreed with Michelle.. doesn't mean we will succeed.. Nowadays, we all facing alot of stress..

Hey stefie2104
went thru the wesite.. looks like most of the dishes are quite simple to prepare..
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michelle, certainly hope it is implanation
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have you started ttc? we could encourage each other on the journey
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bb08, understand completely about yr anxiety to ttc soon. i went thru that stage too
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after 1st mc, my world evolves ard ttc and ttc only..well my wish was granted, i got preggie 6 mths after the 1st mc, carried bb to 13 weeks but heartbeat stopped..my world crushed..3rd preggie came as a surprise cos i didnt think i will strike 1 mth after D&C..getting preggie quickly after D&C did helped me get over my mourning period faster..so Go for it when you are ready girlie...
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support u
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hope,
my hubby could claimed both of my D&C surgery..think different HR policy has different rulings. I couldnt claim from my own co. check it out with yr HR
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michelle, MS = morning sickness
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i have none thru my 3 preggies...except for v mild nausea..no major vomitting...i think some gals could vomit breakfast, lunch, dinner...
from yr post, i supposed you are already a mommy of one?
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Hi BB

I understand how u feel... My neighbour, best friend all preggie oso... but is ok... we will make it... dun be dishearted. For me i will start TTC now...
 
Dear Applemuffin,

i think is not wise to KEEP telling/emphasizing others about what you when through and freak others out. There are worst cases like those who carry till 2nd/3rd then m/cs. Everyone have a chance to start ttc once they think their bodies are ready, but seem like you keep adding salt to peppers to spice these issue up. Been reading ur postings in the forum, and find tat ur one contradicting person. You can one day post saying that u are tired and phobia on TTC and would rather concentrate on studies or ur furkid, then on the another day you will say u are desperate for TTC and bb. Happen to saw ur postings in other threads like stillborn and IVF, these ppl need much more sympathies than u if u read their stories. BTW, since you are able to conceive naturally for 3 times and tests show that each of ur MC is due to luck matters, so i dun think IVF shld be the option for u. IVF is to help those who has difficulties in conceiving or those suffering from male factors problems. IVF will help you to conceive but will not help u to substain the pregnancy. Also, questions that you ask around seem to imply that you are very ignorant on ovulation and TTC which i reckon shouldn't be since u are not new to TTC anymore. Hope you will be more sincere and consistent in ur postings!
 
hi guest1,
i think that's the dilemma of a person who has miscarriage before.. one moment they're full of of enthusiams, one moment they will fall into depression and think negatively. i think it's pretty normal. your posting sounded a bit harsh..everyone is here to encourage everyone. i don't think applemuffin is here to dampen anyone's mood intentionally..

and i don't think she freaks me with her postings. i always feel that it's my own fault for freaking myself by reading all the negative postings and go to those threads like stillborn, etc but i just can't help it. i want to know more and the more i know, the more i feel scared and worried. so, if i don't want to freak myself up, i should not even come to this thread and the others!get what i mean? if you don't want to be freak out, refrain yourself from reading all the postings by people who wanted to share their feelings and what they went through and experienced..
 
hi aria,
thanks for standing up for me
happy.gif
appreciate alot.

hi guest1,
appreciate but am disappointed your comment. if you want to comment about me, why not using your real ID? why use a guestid?

have you gone thru 3 miscarriages in a year, 3 D&C within 12 months? Who are you to judge me? or rather understand how I feel? I am not asking for empathy. This is a forum and i believe everyone is free to share their experiences and feelings. I am not trying to freak anyone out with my experiences, i just hope my experiences can be of use to anyone who need it but if they dont, they are free to treat it as another gossip story or whatever.

if i can have normal and successful pregnancies, do you think I will still be "contradicting" like what you said about me? Feel sad and discouraged one day, and the next day picking myself up to continue on. If I am a successful MTB, I will just happily cuddling my baby and sharing/talking/laughing in the MTB forum. You reckon I have nothing better to do all day but share stories about my D&C, my miscarriages?

I am 34 this year, and 3 attempts had failed. What makes you think that I should not consider IVF, IUI? If i have $10k cash or $6K like what the ladies advised, I wouldnt hestitate and probably make an appointment with Prof Wong to ask about IVF alternatives. What is so wrong about me asking about IVF?

Having 3 pregnancies do not mean i am an expert in ovulation. In fact, i learnt about Ovulation thru the TTC forum and couple of months seeing a TCM. I do test and trial like the others - using OPK, using standard CD14 to BD and watching out for signs like mucus. But again I could be wrong in my analysis or tracking of ovulation date, so why cant i ask for more advice or opinion?

what i have posted so far are real experiences and not made up. I have even met some of the ttc ladies here. If i have anything to hide, insincere etc, i do not think i will dare to show up in any of those outings. Or you reckon, you need me to post my D&C receipts, my bb's scan photos and gynea's visit cards here to prove?

I thot we are all here to encourage each other and spur each other on in this v tough ttc journey...am v disappointed to see this post of yours. But in any case, you are entitled to your opinion and if i did freaked you out with my postings. Not my intention.
 
Hi Guest1,

I have not read Applemuffin's postings in other threads but I think given her three consecutive failed pregnancies, she is fearful yet at the same time, enthusiastic about getting pregnant again. I think this is quite normal. Perhaps her reasons for repeated mentions of it are to share her experience with us and also to vent her emotions.

No offence meant to you.
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michelle,
u r so rite..i do need an outlet..and this forum seems to be the only one for me at the moment. it has almost become an addiction for me, a daily affair to login and read and post and learn what to do in order to have a successful pregnancy...i got my TCM, massages and gynea recommendation thru this forum and am grateful for all the recommendations and opinions given.

There seems to have two of me..one who is living a day to day life; one who seems to be gotten over everything; i can still laugh n joke in office, work to my professional level. The other of me is one who is desparate to have a bb, full of envy and jealousy whenever i see a preggie in office; so much so i cant even coordinate my facial expressions and how i feel inside me...

anyway, enough of my blabbering....must have bore some too much...
happy.gif
hope i can exit soon too...
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hi guest1,
i was quite suprised and dissapointed to c such posting here.When a person wenthrough 3 mc in a year, i don think she will fell "wei feng" or have intention to spice the issue up. Once u have a mc, it doesnt matter u are first time mc or many times, it is a bad experience, and we are human, eventhough we have already know how to count O-day, method of TTc, but we will still post here to find a second opinion..like me, 2 mc, i know how to count O-day tru website, mucus, what kind of "bu" stuff to take to warm the womb, but i will post here too to hear the sec opinion from the forum.
Eventhough we can conceived naturally,but MC in the end, i sometime also think alt way to conceive again, like whether my HB need to go for sperm test(eventhough 2 gynaes give me the same answer--no need).we will think whatever method to make us conceived and have a full term prenancy. So i don think apple add any salt or pepper to our TTC journey..

we are fear to TTC again, but we want to ttc, this is NORMAL..She just give her opinions, if everyone here in the forum din post amy commend and experience, i don think we can get any info fr forum.
 
Dear All,
I am new here.Maybe someone like me will behave the same like applemuffin.I just had 2nd MC within one year time.I also go to many threads such as IVF,fibroids,endo,cyst,March08 MTB etc after my MC but I got no courage to post anything there.After my first MC,my gynea say I could TTC anytime aft my 3rd AF or after I can get over my 1st MC.Now,I have tried it but fail again.Only after my 2nd MC,I was told by my gynea I have farm of fibroids.What should I do?I want to TTC again, the other doctor say I can try again, another doctor say I need to go for hystereoscopy.I really dunno who shall I listen to?
 
Hi applemuffin,

i guess we shd not let the Stupid guest1 (they are just coward that don't even dare to post their name,,, and just use guest1...)irritate us here. Guess these ppl got nothing better to do whole day and come into this forum to stir something up... just ignore those posting and we'll treat them like idiots. We'll all here to encourage each other and let our steam out!!!!
 
hi apple, don't know why guest1 said what she did but i just want you to know that you did not once freak me out since i started visiting this forum in may. in fact, i'm starting to enjoy conversing with you as we share more feelings and stuff here.
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hi grace, i don't know much about fibroids but i have heard of people who manage through their pregnancies despite fibroids and also heard about those who had no choice but to first deal with the fibroids before thinking of ttc. it may be good to speak with both docs again to find out why they said what they did, then do a bit of reading online to understand your condition better before you decide.
 
Hi Applemuffin,
Yes, you read correctly - I am a mother of one. My son is three years old.

You have lots of supporters here and I think many of us would be happy for you to continue posting.

Hi Grace,
I have a friend who successfully got pregnant and had a baby without realising she had fibroids. It was only 4 years later that she found out she has fibroids! She has since had surgery to remove them and is now trying for #2. Perhaps you may wish to consider seeking a 3rd opinion? Consult a really experienced O&G. Personally, I find the relatively younger doctors lacking in experience.
 
Guest1
maybe you really had misunderstand applemuffin...i do not know whether you had a MC before but i was just like applemuffin...feeling scared one moment and excited the other moment.. our mood swing is very high but we conceal it infront of our colleagues, friends and relatives... it is only here that we are able to show our true inner feelings and vent our frustration here... Why? Because all the ladies here have gone thru the ordeal before and we know the sufferings and most impt of all, we are able to support and give advice to each other... One of my main supports when i MC is from applemuffin, without her and some of the ladies here, i would have gone into a depression mode...

Applemuffin
Dun take guest1's words to heart... we've been thru together for so long and we know that you are not what have been described...dun be fearful of posting your own experiences and feelings over here because of this... like xuanting, i also enjoyed conversing with you...

Grace
I can understand your dilemma...when having 2 different opinions from 2 different specialists...sometimes i think to myself, c'mon how come there's so many different views on one problem...they are specialise in this area, what aren't their answers consistent...and what are we paying for??? Cos one consultation is not cheap le... and if their analysis is wrong, why can't we get back our money??? Sorry hor, to grumble so much...suddenly got worked up over the inconsistency of treatment given by diff gynaes...

To side-track abit...
I was thinking... why so many ppl come here to ask for advice... cos the gynae's fee is expensive so its not cost effective to go to see so many O&G....thus we save money by asking each other on what the O&G had told us...haa...make sense?? :p
 
michelle, kitmom, piggymom, bb08, xuanting, aria & grace, thanks for your great support
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truly appreciate...guess in diversity, we find true support..and will continue to post as long as my experiences can help to lessen some doubts or cheer someone up along the way
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grace, one of my gynea - well known gynea at gleneagles (i wont mention names), he once told me it is ok to have fibroids and still conceive and give birth successfully. The gynea of my cell sister only discovered that she has fibroid when operating a caesac when she gave birth to her first bb, he removed it for her at the same time and only told her after she regain conscious..so it is proved one can carry a bb to full term even with fibroid.

i feel that we women are very strong creatures..never-say die...ask how many ladies here went thru mc but still wanna try for a bb...is D&C not painful? is the whole experience not nerve wrecking enough? For me, i remembered i swear i will never try ttc again after my 2nd mc, but look, i did head back into ttc journey barely one mth after D&C...cos i badly want a successful pregnancy to happen to me..despite the outcome, i am still game. Thats women...i guess...and yeah, sometimes, i changes my mind and psycho myself that maybe being childless is not a bad idea, i could travel, spend all the money i want etc..but my heart tells me otherwise...cant help it...

Late nite liao...always make me a sentimental sob pot..hee..
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angie, applemuffin
I was wondering is it because i went thru the D&C (mis abortion at 10 weeks with no heartbeat detected and HCG dropped drastically) thats why my gynae suggested gotta wait for 3 AF... for those gynae who said one month can liao is because they went thru the natural MC process thats why the uterus recovers faster??

Of cos would want to TTC after 1st AF but would want to sound out my gynae first....will be visiting him next week...if he gives the green lite, i will 'chong' immediately.. heehee
 
bb08,
so late, still online..
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i dont think it has anything to do with mc at 10weeks or no heartbeat n HCG condition, I think different gynea gives different opinion. I changed 3 gynea thru the 1 year of ttc. 1st gynea told me 3 months ( i went to see TCM, she wanted me to start right away) but i waited 3 mths. 2nd gynea who worked with my TCM in the whole treatment told me i should start right away and I did..one month after 1st AF, i tried. My current gynea told me after 3 AFs which i think it is reasonable for my condition cos i went thru 3 D&C within 12 months, very siong for the womb and uterus. I experienced worst cramps and pain after the 2nd D&C (cos bb already 13 weeks, quite a bit to suck out during the D&C, i guess). Now this time, i really think i should be patient, so i wait lor..

think yr gynea should be the best person to give the green light
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i hope you can join in the ttc journey soon...i need a O, BBT-tracking buddy..hee..
 
applemuffin
Cos i just came back... like you, i'm also addicted to here liao...first thing i came back is to switch on the pc and see the postings...always refresh the page every now and then...

I dun have a bbt thermometer yet... anyway, according to what the sinseh told me, he advise me to have BD after 45 days of my MC... so now is only 38 days...still got 7 days to go...if my AF cycle is 28days that means i should ovulate in 4 days time ( but i still have the brown discharge) which means it will be unlikely for me to strike this month... therefore i will still have to wait for another AF...then with 2 AF, my gynae will not be angry with me lor.. haha
 
Am quite surprise to see such a post from guest1, we were here to support each other and also a avenue for us to let it out of our system.

guess guest1 is too sensitive. let's continue to support one another and now "attacking" each other here. this is a support thread, my friend
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Hi bb08
agree with applemuffin..
Different gynea give different opinion.. my colleague's gynae told her to wait for 1 year. thats too long leh. so if i tink i m ready, juz go for it..

Actually hor.. wats the difference between mis abortion and natural mc..
 
Hi Angie,

By definition, a missed abortion is in utero death of the embryo or foetus before the 20th week of gestation with retained products of conception.

Natural miscarriage means the body naturally expels the foetus so you do not need to undergo the D&C procedure.
 
Hi Michelle Wright
Thanks for the definition.. so i m also a missed abortion..
my principal diagnosis indicate in the discharge summary as incomplete miscarriage..
 


thanks gals..
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appreciate.

bb08, been taking my bbt. Do u take yours? my temp hovering about 36.70 - 36.80, not going up neither coming down...*scratch head* Gut feel is that i didnt strike cos no symptom. Will continue to track at least i will know when AF is coming. Is yr brown discharge after yr 1st AF? Did u tell yr TCM u r still having brown discharge?

Ladies, with mixed up cycles after D&C, how do u gals track yr O day w/o using OPK strips?
 
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