Support group - Miscarriages


hi all,

I just had M/C 2 weeks ago... just have some questions would like to ask u all...

1)how long should i to do "mini confinement"? bcos it is quite difficult when go back to work force....

2) heard a lot of ppl say it is more easy to "strike" after m/c, but my gynae say need to have protective sex for 3 cycles. i really in dillema, should i follow gynae's instruction or just start again TTC? bcos I really scare miss the good chances if it is really easier strike during these period... I have TTC for 1yr+, really hope can have BB.... but at the same time also scare abt the last incident.....

hi all... pls help... i really don't know wat to do... can anyone give me advice? Pls pardon my innocent....
 
Bellybutton,

I'm really sorry and sad to read about what you had to go thru.

it reminded me of my own mc which happened 2 years back...the mc itself was traumatic enough for us and later, we had another blow when we found out that my husband had fertility problem; chances of getting pregnant again was just so slim. For a while, we thot that that one pregnancy which ended in mc may mean our only hope for having our own child. But we chose to believe that He has a purpose for everything and that our child would be well taken care by Him. Now, I am pregnant again...naturally...something which my husband & I consider a miracle, given the circumstances...so, pls dun lose hope.
 
Hi Karen

I too had my miscarriage recently. According to some here they mentioned tat must confinement for at least 2 wks.... However I also only do abit of the whole procedure only.

As for the 2nd qn, my gynae also mentioned tat shld rest for 3 mths for the womb to heal. .She told me tat she encoutered a case whereby her patient got preggy w/in d 1st 3 mths & the same bad thing happen. So i guess i will wait for 3 mths to play safe. At the meantime, do take vitamins & supplements to build up ur health 1st.

However another gynae tat i went to seek 2nd opinion told me tat can try after the 1st or 2nd cycle. So dunno which is better?????
 
Dear BellyButton,

It's true that after all the trauma we will feel fear of getting pregnant again. Adoption came to my mind too, but I know it's not an option for me because I know myself just too well, that deep in my heart, I can never treat an adopted child as good as my own. Although I am still not sure whether I have the courage to TTC. I feel that I am not prepared yet, both physically and mentally.

We do need time to heal, allow ourselves to feel (sad/angry), to cry, to "remember" our lost baby is a very important healing process. I "blamed" God once a while as well, when my mood is very low. It's just my way of venting out my sadness and anger, and I believe He/She won't mind if I do so.

Acknowledging the once existence of our lost baby is another important thing, too. I have my girl's photos in my handphone, nowadays I always reply "oh! She's my girl" when people asked me who's she when they saw her photo. This somehow make me feel better..

And yes, crying during confinement really hurt your eyes. My eyes are not as good as before, and my vision become blur easily nowadays if I cry. So, do cry when you wish, but have some control.

We have to be strong and healthy, for our future kids. Think of your future kids, and you will have the courage.
 
<font face="Calisto mt"><font color="0077aa">Bellybutton</font>,

No words I said now can relive e pain &amp; sorrow u are going thru rite now. I can only pray for God to comfort you and give you peace during this difficult time. Be strong.

God Knows

You have my deepest sympathy,
but it really doesn't help.
Your grief goes beyond
what words can express.

There's nothing anyone can say,
and nothing we can do
to heal your broken heart
or take away your pain.

Let God take you in His arms
and cover you with His love.
He knows the depth of your grief
and only He can give you peace.
He knows it will take time
for your heart to heal, and
your loved one has a place
that no one else can fill.

If there's any comfort let it be in this,
your loved one is with Jesus,
in a home that's filled with bliss.
There are no tears in Heaven,
no more heartache and no pain,
only love and happiness
for all eternity.

We must go on living and
do the best we can,
then when Jesus calls our name
we will be with them again.</font>
 
hi odie, long time no heard from U..

U're almost abt to give birth liao.. Wish u a smooth delivery.. btw, urs a boy or gal gal..
 
Wah odie, it've been ages since you last log in! And you're now in your 39th week already, that's fast!
Anyway, last but not least, have a smooth delivery and a healthy baby boy!
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And wondering how's tubby and miao now??
 
good morning girls.

i'm feeling much better this morning.. just that eyes still feel a bit sore from the excessive crying last night.. perhaps there's really some truth to the no-crying thingee during confinement yah? wonder how it works medically though..

currently doing my confinement with my in-laws. must say they are really nice folks. PIL gave us $1k after this whole thing.. say it's a small token from grandma and grandpa to our little girl.. i was so touched i teared again.. also MIL burnt her hand while preparing the herbal water for me to bathe.. makes me feel bad.. they also told us we should go for a trip after i recover so we can put everything behind us again.

hey, how many weeks of mc did the doctor give you after your d/c? mine only gave me 2 weeks. did you girls take a longer time before going back to work?

my gynae also did a comprehensive blood test for me during the termination. both hubby and i are hoping that he will be able to find the cause of what happened to our bb, so at least we can have a proper closure to this and move on...

actually, i wonder how the doctor did the d&amp;c. i remembered my gynae was telling me a joke to cheer me up in the operating theatre.. and i remembered telling him i got sleep aphnea.. and the next moment, i heard the nurse calling me and telling me the procedure is over and they are pushing me back to my ward. my hubby said i was out and back into my ward in half an hour..

know what? i went back to my gynae for termination, he said he was dr Ann tan's "mentor" in SGH and he was the one who delivered all 3 of her babies.. even showed me her pic with one of her bb.. guess i have to give it to him at the end of the day coz his conclusion was still right. he said in fact i shouldn't have done an amnio-infusion coz he knew i would dry up and be back to square one. but i told him i had to do something until the last min and see for myself that there is really no hope before i can really give my baby up. well.. guess for my next pregnancy, i'll still go back to him.
 
<font color="0000ff">Hi bellybutton,</font>

I am glad that you are feeling much better... and your parent-in-laws are so sweet and nice to you
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. They are so good to suggest you and hubby to go overseas to relax
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. So sweet of them...
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I cannot advice you on the MC part cos I had an operation as well... My doc gave me 3 weeks and ask me if I want more when I saw him for review 3 weeks after...
 
Hi bellybutton, glad that you are feeling better. It is important that you have the support of your hubby and your family. It looks like your ILs are really nice. My doc gave me one month mc. I rested for 3 weeks plus, then went to Japan for a holiday with my hubby after that. Go for a trip, it will take your mind of the matter for a while.

folic
 
Yes, BellyButton,
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glad u r feeling better! And in a way, happy that u hv found a good gynae!
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You know, i think your in-laws are really nice in a sense that they acknowledge their grand-daughter
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and even given her a small token! I felt very touched too.
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I remembered tat time when i first lost my BB, my MIL neber visit me and call to ask "y i din take care of myself?" I noe she meant well but i was so hurt...

Anyway, BellyButton n TSH, I think the fear is always there! But do try to stay positive and remain happy! In the meantime, yes, take care of yourself and ur body as this will be the "future home" that ur BB will stay in for the next 9mths! Jia You!
 
Hi Bellybutton, Glad to know that you are better. You PIL are very nice.
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God Bless their good souls.
Pls take care and rest well. Go back to your gynae and ask for longer medical leave if you think you need it. Physically recovering is 1 part but our gynae has to take care of our emotional recovery as well. God Bless!
 
hello gals

Qwer - Paiseh! yesterday i log off liao (went back early cos not feeling well) Hee! i'm ok. My discharge stop liao juz that i feel giddy n uncomfortable. Aiyo! now i cant chat at nite liao lah cos i went back to hubby hse already
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Bellybutton - Dont cry liao okie? Glad that u are much better liao. wow! you have such a nice inlaws. ya! i agree, take a break (go holiday with hubby) Gynae gave me 2 weeks mc n after that go for a checkup. i did a 2 weeks mini confinement. (some do 1 mth confinement)

Gynae say that i wont get preggie the next 2 mths (after D&amp;C in mar) and i now i pregnant liao leh.(after my 1st menses came) i oso very worried. when i went to visit gynae he very surprise that i preggie liao (his reaction is har! u pregnant again? your womb already heal? that's fast) After hearing him saying tis i more worried but he did the scanning n injection for me n hopefully everything is alright.And i was told to bed rest for 3 weeks) next friday going for checkup again
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i was told after m/c, its easy to get pregnant cos maybe its the confinement food we eat (all the bu food).

*Baby Dust to You* Remember dont give up n dont think abt the past anymore. Look forward to your next pregnancy yeah
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Belly Button, my gynae gave me two weeks also but I request to prolong it after my in-laws &amp; parents got worried abt me not doing the full confinement. In the end I got 3 weeks.
 
Hi Bellybutton,
You sound more positive and happier today. You PIL are very nice and understanding. I'm confused, the gynae u went back is in SGH?

Hope these cute hamsters cheer u up!
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Hi gals,

Just want to say "hi' to everyone. Not sure if anyone still remember me. Been following this thread for a long long time but din not post cos nothing much to update u gals.

Hi Odie,
I'm so happy that you finally posted. I was thinking of you, tubby and miao2. Hope they are doing fine as well. I wish that u will have a smooth delivery and don't forget to update us yr birth story.

Hi BellyButton,
You are really a very strong gal. I am not good at words. I hope that you will continue to remian positive and happy. Please take care yah.........
 
Hi Tian tian, I still remember u!!
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How are you?

Yap, glad to see Odie too!
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Wow, 39th week liao!! Jia You!!
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As for Tubby, the last i heard from her is that she is resting at home, and it's abit tiring for her to sit for too long! She did read the thread though din post too!
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Heard from her that she did "saw" Mao post in the Jul(sorry, forget which thread)Mum-to-be thread.
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So I guess she is alright!
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Hey, i think Adora shld have already delivered liao, right?
 
hi java. nope, my gynae is at GlenE. He was the one whom i've been seeing since i first discovered i was pregnant. He used to head the fetal maternal medicine in SGH, before he left for private practice. think Dr Ann Tan took over him in SGH before she left to set up her own clinic in Mt E recently. actually, most of the gynaes in the high risk pregnancies work together at one point or another as colleagues before.
 
Hi Ocean,

I am still the same, no gd news to update yet. Glad to know that both tubby and miao are doing well. How's Cherish???

Btw, for those who still remember Adora, she has given birth to a boy on 3rd Jun. You can catch her birth story in Jun MTB thread.

Hi BellyButton,
May I know the name of yr gynae??
 
hi confused,

So happy for u... but must really really take care urself...
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how come ur gynae say u won't get preggie the next 2 mths after D&amp;C? my friend's gynae even ask her can directly try after 2 weeks bcos can see the egg.... very confuse... who should listen to.....

me also heard a lot of ppl get pregnant after m/c, hehe... that's y i also blur... should I really wait or juz start TTC? **blur blur** + "Mao Dun".....
 
Tian Tian,
my gynae is Dr Henry Cheng, he has 2 clinics, one at glenE and the other at Bishan.
Bishan - 6552 7377
GlenE - 6473 2533
to be honest, his charges are one of the most reasonable ones around, especially when his equipment is capable of doing complex obstetric scans. and he's very experienced in high-risk pregnancies.
think his antenatal charges starting from the 20th week is about $550 and this includes a detailed scan on the 20th week.
 
<font color="0000ff">Confused,</font>
It's ok lah.... I can understand.

<font color="aa00aa">Hallo Tiantian,</font>
Nice to hear from you again!! Wish u all the best!!
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Thank you for the well-wishes!!!
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Never expected that I will get so near to the expected due date. Thought that delivering around 36th and 37th week is quite common.

BellyButton, glad that you are in good hands. I totally agree that you should go on a holiday after this. A change in environment will do you some good. If you feel that the m/c is too short, try and speak to your gynae and have it extended. No point forcing yourself to go back to work. Take your time to heal.
 
hi odie,
remember me? I'm miao2. I'm now 34 week approaching 35 weeks.
I heard that weeks prior to due we have to drink things like young coconut juice and rasberry tea. Have you tried any of those? And when is the actual right time to take them?
 
halow gals,
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.. today its a rainy day.. so sian..


I'm not feeling very happy today.. got a bad dream and wope up feeling so angry and upset.. Dunno why i got such dream even when I did not think of it...
 
Tian Tian,clipart{kao_babydust2} Babydust for you! Dun stress yourself, but of cos must also work hard lah!!
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Thanks for asking on Cherish. She is a healthy gal, but very light.. Also she still required therapy. Hopefully can "discharge" her by next mth when we go for followup!
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Oh, so Adora already given birth!!
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So happy for her!! Was thinking it is about time liao!!
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Odie, good lah! Heard that the closer BB is delivered nearer to their due date, the likelihood of gettin jaundice is smaller! Jia You! You just got few more days to go!!
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Mao, i took young coconut at ard 32wks i think. Pple told me not to take so soon... but tat time i scare early labour. Just dun take too much lah!

Karen, as for whether to ttc after D&amp;C, think it all depends on individual. If it is a first trimester loss, can try after ur first AF came. But this is subjected to u feeling better in terms of emotion and physically. But if it is a 2nd trimester onward loss, personally, i think shld wait at least 3mths...
 
Haha suddenly all the old timers appear for reunion
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miao2, that's fast huh?
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see? told you sure can make it!! Jia you! can't wait to see you share your birth story!

Ocean, HI! glad to hear that Cherish is growing well! Hope she can stop therapy next mth!

Tiantian, good to see you post! Hope you are well!

Odie, JIA YOU JIA YOU!!
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Hi everyone! hope everyone have a great day ahead!

folic
 
hi ocean,
Thank you for reply my query. I have received so many info. abt this young coconut juice but each giving me different dates. So far I never dare try any yet.
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Anyway, nice to know that you are happy and Cherish is happy. So happy for you leh!!

Also about Tubby, if you are still in contact with her. Please send my warmest regards to her. Have been thinking of her since her last posting. Wonder how is she coping. Believe she is about 1-2 weeks earlier EDD than mine huh. Prob you can let her have my email address. She can write to me anytime.
My email address : [email protected]

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halow miao, great to hear that things are going well and smoothly for u.. Wish u a smooth delivery and give birth to a healthy baby..


Hi folic, How are u and YX doing.. everything good and well for U..
 
hi folic,
Yes. I really want to thank you so much for your encouraging words the other time. You are forever our lao da jie.
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Really ... appreciate your help and all the advices.

How are you and Yi Xuan?
 
Hi miao2,
So nice to see you here! You must be very excited with the arrival of your baby!

hi odie,
I still remember last time you were complaining during the TTC period about no baby, no new job. Now you are blessed with both!!! Do keep us updated when you deliver and photos of your bb.

folic, hahaha you are lao da jie!

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<font color="aa00aa">Hello gals!</font>

Hi hamasaki,
It's the subconscious mind... Even if you dun think about it consciously, but it's still in the subconscious mind. Subconscious mind is very powerful...
That's what my gyane told me last time
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. Hope you will get over it soon
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We will jia you togather ok?
 
Hi gals!

Thanks for asking about YX. She is doing well! She is now 3.5 mths old, weighs 6.6 kg and is 60 cm long!
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When I chose her name, the word 'xuan' is the old name for this plant called 'wang4 you1 cao3'. I want her to wang4 you1 (forget all sorrows) and be a happy girl and she is certainly living up to the name!
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I can't remember if I posted these pictures b4.. but if you hv seen it b4, tell me and I can post some newer photos, ok?
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As for me, I am dropping hair like crazy and hoping everyday that I would not become botak!
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Take care everyone!

folic
 
JAVA, JAVA, I loved your HAMSTER!!!

Yah lor... all the old birds gathered together again..

I saw that curly is pregnant too leh.. soo happy for her.
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Hi Joyce, folic,
I'm also shedding hair like crazy. The floor at home has strands of my hair lying around. Use pantene hair lost control. It helps.

Hi joyce,
Tiantian cannot stand my hamster pics. She's too scared of them. Here is another one:
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Java... you bad lah! Post sooooo many of them!! Aiyooo, SO how, how now?! Make my heart niao niao... I want YOUR HAMSTERS!!
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I got a hamster before, but he kena murdered by ME!! sob sob.. cos last time I still bathe him despite the cold weather..
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hi Lyn, thanks so much for encouraging me.. Feel relived when i shared my bad dream to others..


Yes, I will Jia You for U.. all the best..
 
hahahahha Java, I love the hamster pics.. so cute and tiny..



hi folic, thanks for sharing YX pics.. She looks so happy and care-free in the pics.. Really so adorable and cute.. So sweet.. Can post more pics of her again... (hehehehehhe)
 
Hi folic,
YX is cute and beautiful...
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Hi Java,
The hamsters are cute... Wow.. you have so many hamsters. I also feel like getting a hamster and build a nice home... kekeke...
 
Joyce!! How can you ask me to give you the hamster!! You are a hamster murderer!!!
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Hi lyn,
Those hamsters are not mine. They belong to someone else I know from a hamster forum.
 
Java, to put 1 hamster there, it looked so cute
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and adorable with its little hand sticking out!
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But to see so many...... Er....*Faint...
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Miao, if I am not wrong and according to Tubby, her EDD is later than urs for a wk, i think
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Kekee..
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The young coconut thing, lots of pple also say mus only take during the last week or watever lah, but hor, how i noe when will be the last week??
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Supposed BB wan to come out earlier or later?? Anyway, just dun take too much, maybe max 2 per week?
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So u everything prepared liao?
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Help Tubby to update! She did read the postings here, just that she din post as it is really very tiring for her to sit too long, especially when she needs to rest more. Recently she is having on off contractions, and just yesterday, thot that it is a "show", but not yet!! Ok Miao, will let her noe and send ur regards! Thks!!
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Folic, think i see tat pics of YX b4!!
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Isnt she adorable? Hey, how come YX is heavier than my Cherish? Cherish is only 5.4kg at 5mths old!
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Joyce and Folic, my hair also dropping!
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Pple told me must drink more milk or take more calcium!
 


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