Support group - Miscarriages
- Thread starter linda
- Start date
bellybutton
Member
hi girls..
i wished i dun have to consider the option of terminating my pregnancy.. i've been diagnosed with severely low amniotic fluid at 15 weeks. my doc did a detailed scan at 21 week and concluded a growth retardation of the bb, which is most possibly due to the placenta. he advised us to terminate the pregnancy due to the complications on the bb, and we sought 2nd opinion yesterday, prognosis is the same. we're considering seeking a 3rd opinion today, and if all gynaes think the same, we might just have to make the painful decision.
Everyone tells us we're young and can try again, but somehow, having to make a decision to end the life of the bb inside you is just so painful..
i wished i dun have to consider the option of terminating my pregnancy.. i've been diagnosed with severely low amniotic fluid at 15 weeks. my doc did a detailed scan at 21 week and concluded a growth retardation of the bb, which is most possibly due to the placenta. he advised us to terminate the pregnancy due to the complications on the bb, and we sought 2nd opinion yesterday, prognosis is the same. we're considering seeking a 3rd opinion today, and if all gynaes think the same, we might just have to make the painful decision.
Everyone tells us we're young and can try again, but somehow, having to make a decision to end the life of the bb inside you is just so painful..
Hi Lyn,
I was also supposed to see my gynae last Monday but i never go.
I was also monitoring my temperature since April which i did notice a temperature hike.
But this month, my AF shd be due anytime now but temperature did not raise at all.
Dont know whether does this mean i did not ovulate this month. Haizz....
I was also supposed to see my gynae last Monday but i never go.
I was also monitoring my temperature since April which i did notice a temperature hike.
But this month, my AF shd be due anytime now but temperature did not raise at all.
Dont know whether does this mean i did not ovulate this month. Haizz....
happysunflower
New Member
Hi <font color="0000ff">Bellybutton</font>,
I am very sorry to hear what you have to go through. I may not understand the real pain that you and hubby are going through, but I do know it's not an easy decision to make. I have a friend who had to make similar decision as you a few months ago. He and wifey are healing... It will take time. May God bless you and your hubby...
Many people around may say a lot of things, which may affect your mood, or even hurt. They meant well, just that sometimes it may be a little bit "insensitive" to you at the moment. I will pray that you will be able to pull through the ordeal soon.
If you feel better by chatting with us here, do come in here. If you feel worse, then do something else to release the stress. Hugs hugs...
<font color="0000ff">Starlite</font>,
Bring the temp chart along when you see gynae. Are you sure that you have taken the temp correctly? It may take a while before you can see a pattern in the temp chart. When I took the temp in the first month, it was haywire with lots and lots of up and down. Then after a few months, I can see a pattern. I still do not know if I do ovulate... That's the gynae's job to tell me... Else pay so much for what? kekeke... Now I just record the temp and keep it. No more squinting my eyes and trying to figure out what's going on... very stressed one le... So leave the analysis to the gynae.
I am very sorry to hear what you have to go through. I may not understand the real pain that you and hubby are going through, but I do know it's not an easy decision to make. I have a friend who had to make similar decision as you a few months ago. He and wifey are healing... It will take time. May God bless you and your hubby...
Many people around may say a lot of things, which may affect your mood, or even hurt. They meant well, just that sometimes it may be a little bit "insensitive" to you at the moment. I will pray that you will be able to pull through the ordeal soon.
If you feel better by chatting with us here, do come in here. If you feel worse, then do something else to release the stress. Hugs hugs...
<font color="0000ff">Starlite</font>,
Bring the temp chart along when you see gynae. Are you sure that you have taken the temp correctly? It may take a while before you can see a pattern in the temp chart. When I took the temp in the first month, it was haywire with lots and lots of up and down. Then after a few months, I can see a pattern. I still do not know if I do ovulate... That's the gynae's job to tell me... Else pay so much for what? kekeke... Now I just record the temp and keep it. No more squinting my eyes and trying to figure out what's going on... very stressed one le... So leave the analysis to the gynae.
hi everyone, i'm new to this thread. in fact, i haven't done much posting. was busy crying and worrying about my bb. i'm about 5-6 wks pregnant, but after a few scans, gynae says my waterbag is growing too slowly. for normal case, it should increase by 0.1mm everyday, but mine took 3 days just to grow by 0.1mm. did a blood test yesterday, and the results was not quite good, a low of 425, by right should be 1000. if the next blood test did not show a drastic increase in level, i might have no choice to undergo D&C. this is my 1st pregnancy, so i m very relunctant to let go. i'm still hoping for some miracle to come by.
just like bellybutton, pple ard us tell us that we're still young, can try for 2nd or 3rd bb. my hb's been telling me this too, but somehow i just cant convince myself. sometimes, i just wonder why must it be me? after a failed ivf, we finally managed to conceive naturally, but now things has to be like this.
just like bellybutton, pple ard us tell us that we're still young, can try for 2nd or 3rd bb. my hb's been telling me this too, but somehow i just cant convince myself. sometimes, i just wonder why must it be me? after a failed ivf, we finally managed to conceive naturally, but now things has to be like this.
confusedgal
New Member
Hello gals
Hee! i'm here again. Thanks. i'll take care n be positive
*BABY DUST TO ALL THE GALS HERE* hope to hear gd new for you gals soon yeah!
i cant chat for too long cos i cant sit for a long tiome (i feel pain on my abdominal) gynae ask to to lay on bed. Wah! very sian leh cos got 9 more days (count dowm ah)next friday seeing gynae again. Aiyo! got to go injection every week.
Erowen - thanks. ya! i'm seeing Dr Chew.ya! he say blood clot will usually disappear (i must have enough rest)i really hope so lor cos my previous one oso have blood clot n in the end instead of disppear it become bigger. i oso a bit worried lor. but i think its fated. hope that tis time can make it.
Bellybotton - i'm sorry to hear that. Please take care of your health n hope that there's miracle.it's true that you're still young n can try again. Juz like gynae told me that if bb no good, its best to let go. if not both parties will suffer in future. Believe me, you can conceive again. u'll have a healty bb.
Yvonne - So sorry to hear that. Really hope for miracle. Dont give up hope.
My previous failed pregnancy is the same as your. ya! i know its relunctant to let go. Tell yourself that you leave the bb to god. Rather than bb come to tis world n suffer. Ya! you'll get pregnant again. Remember to bu your body after the D&C.
Hee! i'm here again. Thanks. i'll take care n be positive
i cant chat for too long cos i cant sit for a long tiome (i feel pain on my abdominal) gynae ask to to lay on bed. Wah! very sian leh cos got 9 more days (count dowm ah)next friday seeing gynae again. Aiyo! got to go injection every week.
Erowen - thanks. ya! i'm seeing Dr Chew.ya! he say blood clot will usually disappear (i must have enough rest)i really hope so lor cos my previous one oso have blood clot n in the end instead of disppear it become bigger. i oso a bit worried lor. but i think its fated. hope that tis time can make it.
Bellybotton - i'm sorry to hear that. Please take care of your health n hope that there's miracle.it's true that you're still young n can try again. Juz like gynae told me that if bb no good, its best to let go. if not both parties will suffer in future. Believe me, you can conceive again. u'll have a healty bb.
Yvonne - So sorry to hear that. Really hope for miracle. Dont give up hope.
My previous failed pregnancy is the same as your. ya! i know its relunctant to let go. Tell yourself that you leave the bb to god. Rather than bb come to tis world n suffer. Ya! you'll get pregnant again. Remember to bu your body after the D&C.
confusedgal
New Member
Qwer - U tested liao mah?
happysunflower
New Member
Hi <font color="0000ff">Yvonne</font>,
Everyone around me also told me that I am still young, can try again. It's not what we will want to hear. It's not a very convincing one. They might not know what to say to us. They meant well... Try to stay positive for now ok? It's not easy, but gotta try... Being positive is also better for general health...
I will pray for you that your hormones will increase lots lots...
At least, you know you are fertile
Everyone around me also told me that I am still young, can try again. It's not what we will want to hear. It's not a very convincing one. They might not know what to say to us. They meant well... Try to stay positive for now ok? It's not easy, but gotta try... Being positive is also better for general health...
I will pray for you that your hormones will increase lots lots...
<font color="aa00aa">Confused,</font>
Glad that everything goes well for you & baby. Btw, the blood clot I thot during your last D&C, gynae shld hv removed it already? Why now blood clot again? Btw, I'm very proud of you....the way you talk....I'm serious.
I didn't test. Monday nite AF came. That was CD36 leh....very very late. Aiyah...next mth work hard again lor, what to do right? Cry or sad also no use. Must look ahead. <font color="0000ff">"When the body is sick, dun let your mind sick too. Think of the brighter side".</font> I keep reminding myself this statement.
Glad that everything goes well for you & baby. Btw, the blood clot I thot during your last D&C, gynae shld hv removed it already? Why now blood clot again? Btw, I'm very proud of you....the way you talk....I'm serious.
I didn't test. Monday nite AF came. That was CD36 leh....very very late. Aiyah...next mth work hard again lor, what to do right? Cry or sad also no use. Must look ahead. <font color="0000ff">"When the body is sick, dun let your mind sick too. Think of the brighter side".</font> I keep reminding myself this statement.
<font color="119911">Confused,</font>
Gynae told u to complete bedrest is it? If so, you must not get up to walk hor. Listen to him. I know & understand it's very tiring & bored to juz lay on bed & do nothing. But juz bear with it ok, everything will be fine soon!
If u feel bored, can sms me lah....sms easier, put ur hp beside ur bed, no need to get up & type. Hee...hee...
Gynae told u to complete bedrest is it? If so, you must not get up to walk hor. Listen to him. I know & understand it's very tiring & bored to juz lay on bed & do nothing. But juz bear with it ok, everything will be fine soon!
If u feel bored, can sms me lah....sms easier, put ur hp beside ur bed, no need to get up & type. Hee...hee...
Hi Yvonne,
just wanted to share my story with you and other gals who may face similar concerns.Was 5 weeks pregnant when I did my 1st blood test, and results were very low, only 50. did another re-test 2 days later and it went up only to 60. Doc told me unlikely that I will have a viable pregnancy and asked me to expect a bleeding anytime. So in the end, i decided not to cancel my work trip and went ahead on an overseas trip for a week. However, nothing happened and I went for another check once I am back. Guess what, my blood test readings went up to within normal ranges. Although I am still within my 1st trimester, my pregnancy is tracking well so far. Hence gals, please dun give up hope. Take it easy and hope for the best.
just wanted to share my story with you and other gals who may face similar concerns.Was 5 weeks pregnant when I did my 1st blood test, and results were very low, only 50. did another re-test 2 days later and it went up only to 60. Doc told me unlikely that I will have a viable pregnancy and asked me to expect a bleeding anytime. So in the end, i decided not to cancel my work trip and went ahead on an overseas trip for a week. However, nothing happened and I went for another check once I am back. Guess what, my blood test readings went up to within normal ranges. Although I am still within my 1st trimester, my pregnancy is tracking well so far. Hence gals, please dun give up hope. Take it easy and hope for the best.
bellybutton
Member
hi.. thanks for your comforting words. i guess you girls have all experienced the loss of a previous life and can understand better.
throughout the past month, we've seen countless doctors, from those in public hosp to private hosp. everytime we go into the clinic, we always bear a tinge of hope, and everytime find ourselves disappointed with bad news, so much so that we are kinda immune..
actually, hubby and I were quite angry with KKH. What happened was that at 15th week, my gynae at GlenE started putting me on bedrest and close monitoring coz of the low fluid. on 17th week, went back to see him, and he continued to put me on bed rest, and told me i had to be on complete bedrest till delivery to preserve the bb. he also pre-empted us on the complications and possiblity of preterm bb. then after much deliberation, my hubby and I decided we should perhaps go to KKH, coz in case of complications, their neonatal care would be more affordable. so our gynae wrote us a referral letter to see the head of high risk pregnancy at KKH, which we saw on the 19th week. his sonographer did a detailed scan for us, told us bb is structually normal. then i asked the doctor if the growth of the bb is ok, he said it is on the low side, but he's not concerned coz both my hubby and I are not that big-sized anyway. even during the scan, my hubby commented the water level seems low, the doc reply is "how many babies have you seen to conclude that?".. anyway, at the end of the consultation, he scheduled us to see him in 3 weeks time, and he also took a long time before deciding that i should have a growth scan in 3 weeks. he also didn't give me any medication or mc, told me i;m ok to go back to work.and the worst thing is i got a call from his nurse that i won't get to see him in 3 weeks time coz he's away on conference, so his "understudy" will see me instead.
one week later on the 20th week, i didn't feel very good, very tired especially after i've gone back to work, so i went back to see my gynae at glenE. he looked very worried about my condition, said my fluid level has dipped further and my bb has growth retardation, and told me to terminate, pre-empting us with the effects of the low fluid on the bb and all the complications of a pre-term bb and possible chromosomal anormalies. he also referred me to see another gynae in the private practice that specialize in fetal maternal medicine (high risk) who had the same prognosis.
my hubby and i were so angry with KKH. why didn't the doc highlight anything at all, about growth retardation, about the possiblity of pre-term etc ? and the doctor scheduled our next appointment only 3 weeks later ie 23 week. wouldn't it be too late then for any decision? the impression that i get from KKH is they are very bo-chap. the doc didn't even prescribe me any multivits and aspirin which is supposed to be crucial in my case coz it aids blood flow to the placenta.
just thought if i had not decided to go back to GlenE at the 20th week, i wouldn't have known about my condition.
throughout the past month, we've seen countless doctors, from those in public hosp to private hosp. everytime we go into the clinic, we always bear a tinge of hope, and everytime find ourselves disappointed with bad news, so much so that we are kinda immune..
actually, hubby and I were quite angry with KKH. What happened was that at 15th week, my gynae at GlenE started putting me on bedrest and close monitoring coz of the low fluid. on 17th week, went back to see him, and he continued to put me on bed rest, and told me i had to be on complete bedrest till delivery to preserve the bb. he also pre-empted us on the complications and possiblity of preterm bb. then after much deliberation, my hubby and I decided we should perhaps go to KKH, coz in case of complications, their neonatal care would be more affordable. so our gynae wrote us a referral letter to see the head of high risk pregnancy at KKH, which we saw on the 19th week. his sonographer did a detailed scan for us, told us bb is structually normal. then i asked the doctor if the growth of the bb is ok, he said it is on the low side, but he's not concerned coz both my hubby and I are not that big-sized anyway. even during the scan, my hubby commented the water level seems low, the doc reply is "how many babies have you seen to conclude that?".. anyway, at the end of the consultation, he scheduled us to see him in 3 weeks time, and he also took a long time before deciding that i should have a growth scan in 3 weeks. he also didn't give me any medication or mc, told me i;m ok to go back to work.and the worst thing is i got a call from his nurse that i won't get to see him in 3 weeks time coz he's away on conference, so his "understudy" will see me instead.
one week later on the 20th week, i didn't feel very good, very tired especially after i've gone back to work, so i went back to see my gynae at glenE. he looked very worried about my condition, said my fluid level has dipped further and my bb has growth retardation, and told me to terminate, pre-empting us with the effects of the low fluid on the bb and all the complications of a pre-term bb and possible chromosomal anormalies. he also referred me to see another gynae in the private practice that specialize in fetal maternal medicine (high risk) who had the same prognosis.
my hubby and i were so angry with KKH. why didn't the doc highlight anything at all, about growth retardation, about the possiblity of pre-term etc ? and the doctor scheduled our next appointment only 3 weeks later ie 23 week. wouldn't it be too late then for any decision? the impression that i get from KKH is they are very bo-chap. the doc didn't even prescribe me any multivits and aspirin which is supposed to be crucial in my case coz it aids blood flow to the placenta.
just thought if i had not decided to go back to GlenE at the 20th week, i wouldn't have known about my condition.
halow ladies, i'm here to chat with u all.
hi yvonne, sad to hear of what had happened.. dun guve up hope till the very last min.. take care and hope u will keep us update of ur latest news..
hi bellybutton, seems to me that KKH had not done a really good service and the gynae in charge seems not really responsive to ur case.. He is also not responsible type as well..
feel so sad that u have to go thru such agony.. Log a complaint against him I would suggest..
hi yvonne, sad to hear of what had happened.. dun guve up hope till the very last min.. take care and hope u will keep us update of ur latest news..
hi bellybutton, seems to me that KKH had not done a really good service and the gynae in charge seems not really responsive to ur case.. He is also not responsible type as well..
feel so sad that u have to go thru such agony.. Log a complaint against him I would suggest..
bellybutton
Member
Hi KC,
how to sue? in singapore, it's very difficult to sue a doctor. had a friend who gave birth to a child with serious birth defects, which were not detected during the antenatal checks. her son passed away one year after delivery, and she's left with i think 2 years to sue to doctor but she's not making much progress.
besides, at this point, i dun think i have the energy especially emotionally to think about sueing. my hubby and I still trying to deal with the emotional pain.. and of course the fear of going through the termination process.
how to sue? in singapore, it's very difficult to sue a doctor. had a friend who gave birth to a child with serious birth defects, which were not detected during the antenatal checks. her son passed away one year after delivery, and she's left with i think 2 years to sue to doctor but she's not making much progress.
besides, at this point, i dun think i have the energy especially emotionally to think about sueing. my hubby and I still trying to deal with the emotional pain.. and of course the fear of going through the termination process.
Hi qwer
Ok.. thks...thot of making appt to see on 1st june for scan..
Bellybutton
so sad to hear about your problem. Do take good care of yourself. Its very unfortunate that yours happen to be an isolated case.. I understand how you and your hubby feel.. I know that now you and hubby are undergoing a very bad emotional trauma but maybe you can consider logging a report against the gynae to the medical council once you are more settled down. I may not have the same problem as you but I just found out that the medication that I am on may not help my problem which the doc claims tat it will help and it will also affect my chances of conceiving.. Take Care and God Bless !!
Ok.. thks...thot of making appt to see on 1st june for scan..
Bellybutton
so sad to hear about your problem. Do take good care of yourself. Its very unfortunate that yours happen to be an isolated case.. I understand how you and your hubby feel.. I know that now you and hubby are undergoing a very bad emotional trauma but maybe you can consider logging a report against the gynae to the medical council once you are more settled down. I may not have the same problem as you but I just found out that the medication that I am on may not help my problem which the doc claims tat it will help and it will also affect my chances of conceiving.. Take Care and God Bless !!
Hi gals,
just came back from KKH, don't feel good after hearing some not so good news from my gynae. i was being told my fallopian tubes are not as healthy as before although they are patent now, so if i were to get pregnant, i will have to see a gynae ASAP to rule out an ecotopic pregnancy in case the fetilised egg get stuck in the tubes. i asked my gynae what are the chances of me conceiving again but she can't give me a definite answer. sigh.... just told me to try after 1 cycle of normal menses. if really can't conceive after 1 year, have to consider IVF then. i really hope i can conceive naturally. after hearing all this, i'm contented if god can bless me with just 1 healthy baby.
<font color="0000ff">Confused,</font> have faith. i'm sure your bb will be just fine. take care & do update us. rest well.
<font color="ff6000">Bellybutton,</font> feel so sad after reading your story. me heart goes out to you. do seek a 3rd opinion if you don't feel comfortable making a decision yet.
<font color="ff0000">Yvonne,</font> hang in there, there's still hope. i pray for a miracle for your bb.
just came back from KKH, don't feel good after hearing some not so good news from my gynae. i was being told my fallopian tubes are not as healthy as before although they are patent now, so if i were to get pregnant, i will have to see a gynae ASAP to rule out an ecotopic pregnancy in case the fetilised egg get stuck in the tubes. i asked my gynae what are the chances of me conceiving again but she can't give me a definite answer. sigh.... just told me to try after 1 cycle of normal menses. if really can't conceive after 1 year, have to consider IVF then. i really hope i can conceive naturally. after hearing all this, i'm contented if god can bless me with just 1 healthy baby.
<font color="0000ff">Confused,</font> have faith. i'm sure your bb will be just fine. take care & do update us. rest well.
<font color="ff6000">Bellybutton,</font> feel so sad after reading your story. me heart goes out to you. do seek a 3rd opinion if you don't feel comfortable making a decision yet.
<font color="ff0000">Yvonne,</font> hang in there, there's still hope. i pray for a miracle for your bb.
Hi yvonne - stay positive and pray hard!
With God's grace you will be like el2004. Will pray for you and baby!
Do not lose hope and faith!
Hi Bellybutton, I pray to God to guide u and ur hubby thru tis hurdle. Take care and leave it in God's hand. I know no matter what is said the pain is still there and is very real. Take care and God Bless!
Hi Bellybutton, I pray to God to guide u and ur hubby thru tis hurdle. Take care and leave it in God's hand. I know no matter what is said the pain is still there and is very real. Take care and God Bless!
miracle_bb
Member
Hi Bellybutton, Yvonne,
I feel very sad when I read the complications you faced during pregnancy. Ask the girls here, I'm the queen of all pregnancy complications, 2 stillbirths. Its not fair that you have to make the painful decision whether to terminate the pregnancy or not. Doctors can only advise you based on their medical opinion. I believe you have already done your best, so leave the rest to God. This is not within your control. Just lots of prayer and bedrest is what you need. Last time we have a sister here, Ocean, who also had low amniotic fluid throughout her pregnancy, but she and her baby survive it all, and has safely delivered her baby.
BellyButton,
Yes, IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Redardation) is mainly due to the placenta not being able to pass enough nutrition to the foetus. Which gynae are you seeing for 3rd opinion? Why dun you try Dr TC Chang? He is an expert in fetal anomalies. He should be able to give you good advice on such fetal growth matters. Have a good discussion with your hubby and pray for guidance. We are here to listen and support you.
I feel very sad when I read the complications you faced during pregnancy. Ask the girls here, I'm the queen of all pregnancy complications, 2 stillbirths. Its not fair that you have to make the painful decision whether to terminate the pregnancy or not. Doctors can only advise you based on their medical opinion. I believe you have already done your best, so leave the rest to God. This is not within your control. Just lots of prayer and bedrest is what you need. Last time we have a sister here, Ocean, who also had low amniotic fluid throughout her pregnancy, but she and her baby survive it all, and has safely delivered her baby.
BellyButton,
Yes, IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Redardation) is mainly due to the placenta not being able to pass enough nutrition to the foetus. Which gynae are you seeing for 3rd opinion? Why dun you try Dr TC Chang? He is an expert in fetal anomalies. He should be able to give you good advice on such fetal growth matters. Have a good discussion with your hubby and pray for guidance. We are here to listen and support you.
bellybutton
Member
i got a question. if i terminate my pregnancy, how is the hospital going to deal with my bb's body? is there such thing as a burial for foetus?
Hi Java, so long did not see you ard here. Dont say such things abt yourself, no you r not the queen of all pregnancy complications. God will bless you soon with a miracle baby!
Ladies, actually I feel quite scared now leh. My 1st baby had a very small placenta, gynae was afraid that baby might not be getting enough nutrients and wanted me to deliver earlier at 37th wk but who knows baby decided to come earlier at 35 wk. He is very normal now. But, i was warned by my gynae that 2nd pregnancy I cld face same problems leh. Now having read some of the complications with placenta abnormalities, feel very tensed.
Ladies, actually I feel quite scared now leh. My 1st baby had a very small placenta, gynae was afraid that baby might not be getting enough nutrients and wanted me to deliver earlier at 37th wk but who knows baby decided to come earlier at 35 wk. He is very normal now. But, i was warned by my gynae that 2nd pregnancy I cld face same problems leh. Now having read some of the complications with placenta abnormalities, feel very tensed.
bellybutton
Member
i think i've seen almost all the doctors in singapore that specialise in fetal maternal medicine. my own gynae is quite an expert in this field, i also seen dr Ann tan, Dr Selina Chua, Prof Yeo in the last month.
anyway, i made an appt to see Dr Ann Tan again tomorrow. also at the same time with my gynae on friday just in case i decide to go ahead with the termination. i can always cancel the termination on friday if a miracle happens tomorrow. but the doctor as well as our parents are urging us not to delay once we make up our mind, coz the longer we wait, i suppose it is more dangerous.
i'm just thinking in the worst case, how normally does the hospital deal with the foetus' body.
anyway, i made an appt to see Dr Ann Tan again tomorrow. also at the same time with my gynae on friday just in case i decide to go ahead with the termination. i can always cancel the termination on friday if a miracle happens tomorrow. but the doctor as well as our parents are urging us not to delay once we make up our mind, coz the longer we wait, i suppose it is more dangerous.
i'm just thinking in the worst case, how normally does the hospital deal with the foetus' body.
Bellybutton
Praying hard for you that you will have a miracle tomorrow and call off the termination.
Dun think the hospital will release the foetus' body to you. The best that you can do is to hold a prayer session for the foetus and let the soul rest in peace.. Feel so sad for you and praying very hard that you will have a miracle and call off the termination..
Praying hard for you that you will have a miracle tomorrow and call off the termination.
Dun think the hospital will release the foetus' body to you. The best that you can do is to hold a prayer session for the foetus and let the soul rest in peace.. Feel so sad for you and praying very hard that you will have a miracle and call off the termination..
bellybutton
Member
thanks so much. my hubby and I will pray together tonight for a miracle tom.
to be honest, we are both very worn-out emotionally and spiritually as well. we keep asking God for a miracle as a sign to keep the baby. both of us are not the kind with mega-faith that will dare to go against all odds and keep the bb even when the doctors say the prognosis is poor. We ask God to meet us at our level of faith and give us a miracle each time we go and see gynae, but most of the time, we come out downcast with bad news.
but dun worry, we will persevere until the last min yah.. really really hope I can see a miracle tomorrow.
to be honest, we are both very worn-out emotionally and spiritually as well. we keep asking God for a miracle as a sign to keep the baby. both of us are not the kind with mega-faith that will dare to go against all odds and keep the bb even when the doctors say the prognosis is poor. We ask God to meet us at our level of faith and give us a miracle each time we go and see gynae, but most of the time, we come out downcast with bad news.
but dun worry, we will persevere until the last min yah.. really really hope I can see a miracle tomorrow.
bellybutton,
so sorry to hear ur sad.
i m wife of father2b which u hv post question to him at other thread.
me induce my preg when wk9 due to low fluid to caused bb not growing. i know ur painful to make a decision. frankly speaking, alot of pple ard us say tat we're still young, sure got chance to conceive again.. hope so...
quite angry abt ur experience in kkh.. actually me also not comfortable wif kkh gynae (not offened to others). some my story to share abt kkh gynae.
i m msian, working at sg. all along visit gynae fr jb. as when last visit to him aft cny, was told n hint by him tat me might m/c due to low fluid.. it's start brown spotting 2days later aft check up.. so me quickly run to kkh, they put me to consultant. at kkh, done scan wif shock to know tat they not even can see my bb, so doc give me 2 HCG blood test to compared result.. when result come out, this doc never explain or say anything, imme wan to arrange me go thru d/c in next morning at 9am but we reject n refuse.. this is make me n hb feeling so angry as his never give us any advice.(both of us crying abt this result)
then next day visit other gynae again at TMC.. show him all report n result which done at kkh.. at least this gynae more caring, check up for me, double confirm my preg wif blood test again.. in the end we still make painful decision to termination this preg in case huge bleeding.
gals, sorry for my long story..
bellybutton,
hope u can get over soon..
it's really cant do anything, jus let's go(know it's painful) rather than suffer future.. we all here will pray for ur miracle..
so sorry to hear ur sad.
i m wife of father2b which u hv post question to him at other thread.
me induce my preg when wk9 due to low fluid to caused bb not growing. i know ur painful to make a decision. frankly speaking, alot of pple ard us say tat we're still young, sure got chance to conceive again.. hope so...
quite angry abt ur experience in kkh.. actually me also not comfortable wif kkh gynae (not offened to others). some my story to share abt kkh gynae.
i m msian, working at sg. all along visit gynae fr jb. as when last visit to him aft cny, was told n hint by him tat me might m/c due to low fluid.. it's start brown spotting 2days later aft check up.. so me quickly run to kkh, they put me to consultant. at kkh, done scan wif shock to know tat they not even can see my bb, so doc give me 2 HCG blood test to compared result.. when result come out, this doc never explain or say anything, imme wan to arrange me go thru d/c in next morning at 9am but we reject n refuse.. this is make me n hb feeling so angry as his never give us any advice.(both of us crying abt this result)
then next day visit other gynae again at TMC.. show him all report n result which done at kkh.. at least this gynae more caring, check up for me, double confirm my preg wif blood test again.. in the end we still make painful decision to termination this preg in case huge bleeding.
gals, sorry for my long story..
bellybutton,
hope u can get over soon..
it's really cant do anything, jus let's go(know it's painful) rather than suffer future.. we all here will pray for ur miracle..
miracle_bb
Member
Hi Bellybutton,
In general, the hospital will take care of disposal of foetal bodies < 28 weeks. Anyway this should be the least of your worries. Just take one thing at a time. Yes, Dr Ann Tan is also an expert in fetal scans. She is my gynae's niece! Stay positive and happy. Talk to your bb. Do let us know your progress.
In general, the hospital will take care of disposal of foetal bodies < 28 weeks. Anyway this should be the least of your worries. Just take one thing at a time. Yes, Dr Ann Tan is also an expert in fetal scans. She is my gynae's niece! Stay positive and happy. Talk to your bb. Do let us know your progress.
miracle_bb
Member
HI yasmin,
I hope so too. 1 June is my first son's 2nd birth/death anniversary. Last Sunday, I just submitted a Thanksgiving Mass prayer request to be said for him. Nowadays I got too many dates to remember. Worrying does not change anything, so quit worrying and stay positive and faithful instead.
I hope so too. 1 June is my first son's 2nd birth/death anniversary. Last Sunday, I just submitted a Thanksgiving Mass prayer request to be said for him. Nowadays I got too many dates to remember. Worrying does not change anything, so quit worrying and stay positive and faithful instead.
bellybutton
Member
has anyone done foot/hand prints of the baby for rememberance before?
bellybutton
Member
hi loving..
thanks for sharing your story. i know, there is a man who posted in the forum about low amniotic fluid of the wife in early pregnancy, i was still thinking in my heart when i read the forum that we're in the same shoes.
thanks for sharing your story. i know, there is a man who posted in the forum about low amniotic fluid of the wife in early pregnancy, i was still thinking in my heart when i read the forum that we're in the same shoes.
bellybutton
Member
Hi Java,
your gynae must be WK Tan of TMC?
your gynae must be WK Tan of TMC?
Dear Yvonne and BellyButton,
My case maybe different from you both, I just want to share with you my story, perhaps it will help you on your decision.
I had a miscarriage before I had my baby girl, Jie Yun. At my first detailed scan at 21 week, she was diagnosed with a very severe heart problem - Tetralogy of Fallot (TOF), which means she had a narrow blood vessel that connecting her heart and lung, a hole in heart, overriding of aorta and oversize of right venticle. The severity of her condition could only be revealed at birth. Since babies with TOF have high chance of chromosome disorder, my gynae wanted me to do amniocentesis to find out, so I did. My gynae asked us whether we wanted to abort her, if so, we had to decide quick because it would be 24wk when I got my amnio result.
The three weeks waiting was a long torture for both of us, we discussed and I couldnt stop crying. Somehow I had the feeling that the amnio result would turn out o.k. so I told my hubby that I wanted to keep our baby if the amnio result showed no chromosome defect, although I knew that it might drain us dry, both financially and mentally, I simply couldnt bear to give her up, she would be my first baby and I could feel her moving inside me. In fact, it was my decision to keep Jie Yun, even my hubby was still hesitating.
The second half of my pregnancy was not easy because while we hoped for the best, we couldnt avoid thinking about the worst. When people congratulated me, I didnt know how to tell them my feeling on the pregnancy. My mood swung most of the time and I always quarrel with my hubby for nothing, I knew it was really bad for our relationship but I couldnt control myself as I always do.
Jie Yun came to this world on 29 Dec last year. I had an emergency c-section after a prolong second stage labour. She was very blue when the nurse showed her to me; her crying was so weak that I could barely hear it. She was sent to NICU immediately. I was discharged on 1 January 2005, on my 32th birthday, without my baby in my arms. Jie Yun had to stay in the NICU because she had feeding difficulties and had to be tube-feeded, and the doctors wanted to monitor her condition for a longer period.
About two weeks later, Jie Yun was found to have fits (seizures) and the doctors did some blood tests, it was then they suspected that she might have a rare chromosome disorder called Di George Syndrome, caused by microdeletion of some genes in the chromosome 22 (C22q11). This was a big blow to me, as I was not prepared for this, I always thought that she only had heart problem, though it was a very severe heart disease with very poor prognosis. The pediatric specialist told me that most DGS babies couldnt survive to their first month because they have low immunity, which make them prone to infections. I felt like the world had collapsed in front of me, why me? And why the chromosome disorder wasnt pick up during the amnio (I was later told that DGS can only be picked up by FISH, and have to be specific FISH for C22q11)? What did we do to deserve this?? Countless questions which no one can give me an answer
Very soon I told myself to stop self-pity because my baby needed me, I had to be strong for her. Hubby came back to work and I stayed in Malaysia, traveling to hospital almost everyday. I was very tired and I felt that my body was weak, I caught a cold and I had wound broke down but I had no choice because I didnt know how much time I had to be with my baby.
On 31 January, Jie Yun suffered from breathing difficulty and she had to be put on life support. The doctor placed a tube through her vocal cord to supply oxygen to her lung. I couldnt hear her anymore, not even when she cried (my heart break every time when I think of this). She was o.k when she was with the ventilator until she got a fever on 27 February, a lung infection which eventually took her away from us, on 5 March.
I dont know whether my decision to keep her is right or wrong, or perhaps there is no right or wrong for this kind of situation. Watching your own flesh and blood dying in your arms is something that one should never experience, but I dont know I will be better of if I had given her up at the beginning. Its like stabbing on my heart every time when I saw my little Jie Yun being hooked up with all those tubes and wires, or being poked for taking blood samples and for medication. Tears burst when I think of all these, even now, when I am writing this letter.
Do I regret? Yes, I do. I regret because she had to suffer so much and I was the one who insisted to bring her to this world, and to suffer.
Do I regret? No, I dont. If I had given her up earlier, I wouldnt be able to see her, to smell her, to touch her and to love her. My memory for her is so vivid that I will never forget her, even though it means the pain will remain with me forever.
Some said we can always have another baby and some even suggested us to have it soon, but all I want to tell them is: My little Jie Yun cannot be replaced, she is the unique one and she will always be my daughter. It is not fair to treat my future child(ren) as a replacement of Jie Yun, too.
Yvonne and BellyButton, to keep it or to give up is all up to you really, no one can tell you what to do, neither do I. I am only here to give you one of the possible scenarios in the future.
Just hope this offer a little help.
My case maybe different from you both, I just want to share with you my story, perhaps it will help you on your decision.
I had a miscarriage before I had my baby girl, Jie Yun. At my first detailed scan at 21 week, she was diagnosed with a very severe heart problem - Tetralogy of Fallot (TOF), which means she had a narrow blood vessel that connecting her heart and lung, a hole in heart, overriding of aorta and oversize of right venticle. The severity of her condition could only be revealed at birth. Since babies with TOF have high chance of chromosome disorder, my gynae wanted me to do amniocentesis to find out, so I did. My gynae asked us whether we wanted to abort her, if so, we had to decide quick because it would be 24wk when I got my amnio result.
The three weeks waiting was a long torture for both of us, we discussed and I couldnt stop crying. Somehow I had the feeling that the amnio result would turn out o.k. so I told my hubby that I wanted to keep our baby if the amnio result showed no chromosome defect, although I knew that it might drain us dry, both financially and mentally, I simply couldnt bear to give her up, she would be my first baby and I could feel her moving inside me. In fact, it was my decision to keep Jie Yun, even my hubby was still hesitating.
The second half of my pregnancy was not easy because while we hoped for the best, we couldnt avoid thinking about the worst. When people congratulated me, I didnt know how to tell them my feeling on the pregnancy. My mood swung most of the time and I always quarrel with my hubby for nothing, I knew it was really bad for our relationship but I couldnt control myself as I always do.
Jie Yun came to this world on 29 Dec last year. I had an emergency c-section after a prolong second stage labour. She was very blue when the nurse showed her to me; her crying was so weak that I could barely hear it. She was sent to NICU immediately. I was discharged on 1 January 2005, on my 32th birthday, without my baby in my arms. Jie Yun had to stay in the NICU because she had feeding difficulties and had to be tube-feeded, and the doctors wanted to monitor her condition for a longer period.
About two weeks later, Jie Yun was found to have fits (seizures) and the doctors did some blood tests, it was then they suspected that she might have a rare chromosome disorder called Di George Syndrome, caused by microdeletion of some genes in the chromosome 22 (C22q11). This was a big blow to me, as I was not prepared for this, I always thought that she only had heart problem, though it was a very severe heart disease with very poor prognosis. The pediatric specialist told me that most DGS babies couldnt survive to their first month because they have low immunity, which make them prone to infections. I felt like the world had collapsed in front of me, why me? And why the chromosome disorder wasnt pick up during the amnio (I was later told that DGS can only be picked up by FISH, and have to be specific FISH for C22q11)? What did we do to deserve this?? Countless questions which no one can give me an answer
Very soon I told myself to stop self-pity because my baby needed me, I had to be strong for her. Hubby came back to work and I stayed in Malaysia, traveling to hospital almost everyday. I was very tired and I felt that my body was weak, I caught a cold and I had wound broke down but I had no choice because I didnt know how much time I had to be with my baby.
On 31 January, Jie Yun suffered from breathing difficulty and she had to be put on life support. The doctor placed a tube through her vocal cord to supply oxygen to her lung. I couldnt hear her anymore, not even when she cried (my heart break every time when I think of this). She was o.k when she was with the ventilator until she got a fever on 27 February, a lung infection which eventually took her away from us, on 5 March.
I dont know whether my decision to keep her is right or wrong, or perhaps there is no right or wrong for this kind of situation. Watching your own flesh and blood dying in your arms is something that one should never experience, but I dont know I will be better of if I had given her up at the beginning. Its like stabbing on my heart every time when I saw my little Jie Yun being hooked up with all those tubes and wires, or being poked for taking blood samples and for medication. Tears burst when I think of all these, even now, when I am writing this letter.
Do I regret? Yes, I do. I regret because she had to suffer so much and I was the one who insisted to bring her to this world, and to suffer.
Do I regret? No, I dont. If I had given her up earlier, I wouldnt be able to see her, to smell her, to touch her and to love her. My memory for her is so vivid that I will never forget her, even though it means the pain will remain with me forever.
Some said we can always have another baby and some even suggested us to have it soon, but all I want to tell them is: My little Jie Yun cannot be replaced, she is the unique one and she will always be my daughter. It is not fair to treat my future child(ren) as a replacement of Jie Yun, too.
Yvonne and BellyButton, to keep it or to give up is all up to you really, no one can tell you what to do, neither do I. I am only here to give you one of the possible scenarios in the future.
Just hope this offer a little help.
miracle_bb
Member
Dear TSH,
I've been thinking of you alot, even emailed you but received no reply. At first, when I saw your nick in this thread today, I couldn't believe it was you. I remember that time when you were debating whether to keep Jie Yun or not due to her hole in her heart. It was also at that time I received my lousy triple test results for James. Suspecting whether he has Down Syndrome or not (He was a perfectly beautiful baby boy). I did not go for amnio. I marvel your bravery for keeping Jie Yun, for going through what you went through for her. Take heart that she is now in heaven, a place she will no longer be suffering. For what you went through, you will receive showers of blessings from heaven. Nothing is greater than a mother's love and that you have given Jie Yun the world's best gift.
How are you coping now?
Are you now back in Singapore?
I've been thinking of you alot, even emailed you but received no reply. At first, when I saw your nick in this thread today, I couldn't believe it was you. I remember that time when you were debating whether to keep Jie Yun or not due to her hole in her heart. It was also at that time I received my lousy triple test results for James. Suspecting whether he has Down Syndrome or not (He was a perfectly beautiful baby boy). I did not go for amnio. I marvel your bravery for keeping Jie Yun, for going through what you went through for her. Take heart that she is now in heaven, a place she will no longer be suffering. For what you went through, you will receive showers of blessings from heaven. Nothing is greater than a mother's love and that you have given Jie Yun the world's best gift.
How are you coping now?
Are you now back in Singapore?
Dear Java,
I don't remember receiving your email, perhaps I was not in the right mood when I received your email then, apologize if I had made you worried about me.
Ya, I am back in Singapore now. Came back to work a week after Jie Yun left,else got nothing to do probably worse for me.
How am I coping now? I am not sure. I am watching " Project Slim" at Channel 8, and I can't stop crying when i saw the lady's stretch marks, both of us have the same stretch mark, but she has her baby and I don't, this make me so sad..
Every time when I see babies of similar age, I can't stop thinking of my baby girl; if the baby is older, I will think of whether my girl will be look like him/her; if the babies are younger, I will think of how lucky they are because got the chance to go out with parents and those who love them.
The grief never gone but life has to go on, and thank God that there are people like you all around, to lend a listening ear to a broken heart..
I don't remember receiving your email, perhaps I was not in the right mood when I received your email then, apologize if I had made you worried about me.
Ya, I am back in Singapore now. Came back to work a week after Jie Yun left,else got nothing to do probably worse for me.
How am I coping now? I am not sure. I am watching " Project Slim" at Channel 8, and I can't stop crying when i saw the lady's stretch marks, both of us have the same stretch mark, but she has her baby and I don't, this make me so sad..
Every time when I see babies of similar age, I can't stop thinking of my baby girl; if the baby is older, I will think of whether my girl will be look like him/her; if the babies are younger, I will think of how lucky they are because got the chance to go out with parents and those who love them.
The grief never gone but life has to go on, and thank God that there are people like you all around, to lend a listening ear to a broken heart..
droopy_eyes
New Member
Dear TSH,yr story brought tears to my eyes. u r very brave.
BellyButton, my gynae did ask if I want to take my bb back but at Wk 21, we did not know how to give him a proper burial, also the shock & pain hasn't quite sunk in, so we left him in the hospital but a month later, we went to the temple to let the monks chant prayers for him. But I really really hope for a miracle for u & Yvonne,do keep us updated.
Missy, dun lose heart. I m sure u'll be blessed wif a bb soon.
Yasmin & confused, have faith that everything is going to be fine.
Gals, I feel quite down, but I know it's useless whining & asking god why we have to go through all these. My husband always tell me we are warriors & we need to win this war. We will one day be proud parents. So hang on there, everyone!
BellyButton, my gynae did ask if I want to take my bb back but at Wk 21, we did not know how to give him a proper burial, also the shock & pain hasn't quite sunk in, so we left him in the hospital but a month later, we went to the temple to let the monks chant prayers for him. But I really really hope for a miracle for u & Yvonne,do keep us updated.
Missy, dun lose heart. I m sure u'll be blessed wif a bb soon.
Yasmin & confused, have faith that everything is going to be fine.
Gals, I feel quite down, but I know it's useless whining & asking god why we have to go through all these. My husband always tell me we are warriors & we need to win this war. We will one day be proud parents. So hang on there, everyone!
bellybutton
Member
dear tsh, you are very very brave to bring your child into this world...
you're right.. the grief of losing a child may just linger on and on, even though life goes on. i suppose our previous children will always have a special place in every mother's heart..
you're right.. the grief of losing a child may just linger on and on, even though life goes on. i suppose our previous children will always have a special place in every mother's heart..
Hi gals
TSH, I am so sad to read your posting. It was a tough decision that you have to make and regardless of which way you have decided, it would be the correct way. I am glad that you have a chance to spend the 2 mths with Jie Yun and I am sure she was happy to have come and meet her daddy and mummy. You are right, Jie Yun would be a unique child that you and your hubby have.. she cannot be replaced by future children that you have. I feel this point even more strongly now that I have Yi Xuan by my side. She does not replace Jie whom I have lost at 23 weeks almost 2 years ago and even though some may say that having another child will lessen the pain of the loss, I find myself thinking of Jie even more, wondering how it would be like for Yi Xuan to have a big brother to play with. But, like you say, life must go on. The grief will never be gone but yes, life must definitely go on. I wish I can give you a big hug right now!
Bellybutton, I will pray for your doc visit tomorrow. Go with your heart and do what you feel is right. Take care!
folic
TSH, I am so sad to read your posting. It was a tough decision that you have to make and regardless of which way you have decided, it would be the correct way. I am glad that you have a chance to spend the 2 mths with Jie Yun and I am sure she was happy to have come and meet her daddy and mummy. You are right, Jie Yun would be a unique child that you and your hubby have.. she cannot be replaced by future children that you have. I feel this point even more strongly now that I have Yi Xuan by my side. She does not replace Jie whom I have lost at 23 weeks almost 2 years ago and even though some may say that having another child will lessen the pain of the loss, I find myself thinking of Jie even more, wondering how it would be like for Yi Xuan to have a big brother to play with. But, like you say, life must go on. The grief will never be gone but yes, life must definitely go on. I wish I can give you a big hug right now!
Bellybutton, I will pray for your doc visit tomorrow. Go with your heart and do what you feel is right. Take care!
folic
Hi girls,
I'm very sad today.... I had a miscarriage last Dec04 due to baby no heart beat... & i'm pregnant again but Dr Chen said that it's a bio chemical pregnacy & asked me to wait for my mense to come... All in all this is my third miscarriage.... Sometime I whether y, i'm always so unlucky....
Luckly my parents & hb are very understanding.... I think after this i will take a break from ttc.... & I'll enjoy myself when i bintan tomolo... & i'll never give up hope..heheh
girls, hang on.. Never give up hope and faith.... I believe god have it all plan...
Cheers
I'm very sad today.... I had a miscarriage last Dec04 due to baby no heart beat... & i'm pregnant again but Dr Chen said that it's a bio chemical pregnacy & asked me to wait for my mense to come... All in all this is my third miscarriage.... Sometime I whether y, i'm always so unlucky....
girls, hang on.. Never give up hope and faith.... I believe god have it all plan...
Cheers
confusedgal
New Member
gals - wah! so many long posting. Cant finish reading all of them. (cant sit for too long)Aiya! so paiseh, cant chat in the afternoon cos dont know how to access/connect internet.
Qwer - ya! the gynae remove the blood clot liao. And tis pregnancy got blood clot again. (and worse ah, got cyst some more) hopfully the blood clot will disappear lor. Aiyo! why y say proud of me? Frankly speaking after my D&C i siang3 tong1 a lot of things. And u gals really console me n give me the support during that time. And now i want to share with those gals who need advise n support. (can understand the feeling)
Oh! yeah! dont be sad n try again. Must have the Never give up hope attitude and you'll strike one day. Really tiring to lie down on the bed all the time. very bored leh. yahor! we can sms hor. i give u my email address n u let me know how to contact u yeah!
Qwer - ya! the gynae remove the blood clot liao. And tis pregnancy got blood clot again. (and worse ah, got cyst some more) hopfully the blood clot will disappear lor. Aiyo! why y say proud of me? Frankly speaking after my D&C i siang3 tong1 a lot of things. And u gals really console me n give me the support during that time. And now i want to share with those gals who need advise n support. (can understand the feeling)
Oh! yeah! dont be sad n try again. Must have the Never give up hope attitude and you'll strike one day. Really tiring to lie down on the bed all the time. very bored leh. yahor! we can sms hor. i give u my email address n u let me know how to contact u yeah!
confusedgal
New Member
Droopy eyes - why are u feeling sad. This is part n parcel of life. Previously I also ask myself, why me. (there are so many preggie woman out there n y me?) n the aswer is fated. God say its not the right time for us. i know tis answer is to console myself (better then i keep thinking, and i'll go mad/depression one day)
Althought i'm pregnant now, i dare not put too much hope oso. But at the same time i have to be positive. I told hubby liao now its still early to say n no matter wat happen we got to try again. I told gynae i want to give up if tis pregnancy fail n he say i shouldnt think tis way. (he has a patient m/c 7 time)n the 8th time she managed to give birth liao. So the answer is DONT GIVE UP HOPE and one day we'll have bb.
Gals - paiseh lah! i have to write very long cos i cant chat all time. Must well write everything at the same time.
Althought i'm pregnant now, i dare not put too much hope oso. But at the same time i have to be positive. I told hubby liao now its still early to say n no matter wat happen we got to try again. I told gynae i want to give up if tis pregnancy fail n he say i shouldnt think tis way. (he has a patient m/c 7 time)n the 8th time she managed to give birth liao. So the answer is DONT GIVE UP HOPE and one day we'll have bb.
Gals - paiseh lah! i have to write very long cos i cant chat all time. Must well write everything at the same time.
joycesprit
New Member
Hi TSH, your story has reminded me of my baby girl, Qian Hui again. In fact, your situation quite smiliar to me, except that my QH don't have the heart problem. But worst, her brain was severly damaged at birth. QH did not cried when she's being carried out from my womb, she couldn't breathe on her own, can't drink milk and etc. And had to rely on machine to help her. PD advised us to give up as nothing can do to save QH.. but we insisted to give her some time.. hopefully there's some miracle to appear. But so sad, we still have to give up after so many tests and opinions from senior brain specialist. Qian Hui only lived for 6 days in NICU.