1. We've compiled a list of frequently asked questions and their answers at http://singaporemotherhood.com/forum/threads/faq-on-using-the-new-forum.21478/
    Dismiss Notice

Siblings rivalry

Discussion in 'Matters Of The Heart' started by fierre, Aug 11, 2018.

  1. fierre

    fierre Member

    My kids now 11 and 9. Girl and boy.. they always fight over the silliest thing. My daughter is very particular about her work but my boy is free and easy. Both of them simply cannot coexist. I m planning to let them sleep in the same room to force them to learn how to live with each. They have to learn sooner or later that accommodating is part and parcel of life when they grow up.

    If they can't even accommodate each other now, they will be suffer when they grow up.. living with others

    Anyone has similar problem?

  2. Mongkok

    Mongkok Member

    if you dislike someone and (say) your boss ask you to share a cubicle with that person, how do u feel? you will hate that someone more and you hate (say) your boss for ignoring the situation between 2 of you.

    another scenerio, if you dislike someone. you and that someone are sit a distance apart. your colleague points out to you once in a while about the someone's kind / weak side. how would you feel? along the way, you will feel that you get to 'know' the person better... and u start empathizing...

    first, it's a character and personality difference. it's also mental perception of each other. it would be good if you be the in-between and explain to them (one at a time) the reason why the other react this way and the causes for the reaction. you should focus on letting them know each other better than putting them physically together (now) hoping the situation will become better.

    physical closeness is only one of the avenue to make them live w each other. but does not achieve the ultimate objective of acceptance, sharing & caring for each other. that i think is what you wanted ultimately. They may end up burying their unhappiness deep in and away from you.

    moreover, they are reaching puberty stage. unless there's a shortage of room in the hse, if not, not advisable for long term.

    as on how they can live with others in adulthood, they will find their way. no worries.
  3. DonLee

    DonLee Member

    It depend on how long you plan to let them sleep in the same room.
    Like what Mongkok mentioned, it may or may not help.

    A simple situation between my sister and I when we were both young...

    We quarrel/fight almost daily. My mum put us to sleep in same room (around 10+) and hoping our relationship will improve.
    But in the end, she need to sleep with us as well, so that we will not fight... It defeat the purpose though.

    When they are more into adulthood (think 15-16), their quarrelling etc will get lesser. Or maybe there will be a time when both stop to talk to one another...
  4. be-brave

    be-brave Member

    if ur girl is the tidy, organised type, but ur boy is the typical boy type, best not to have them in the same room. can u imagine after ur girl pack her table, ur boy spread his toys on her table? that would definitely drive ur girl mad.

    moreover, ur girl is going into puberty soon, not very ideal to have them in the same room. if u have extra room, best to let them have their own breathing space.

    when they grow up, they can change house mates if they can't get along.
  5. ayenaingmayzar

    ayenaingmayzar New Member

    Growing up, I always fought with my sister and it is true that the past will haunt your present if you leave the rivalry unchecked. My personal anecdote is that me and her became not so close after we became adults. Its not that we hate each other anything but talking to her feels more like a stranger/acquaintance rather than my own sister. Pls start your intervention before it become too late.

Share This Page