How to handle a situation where your child is called out rude by an elder and u disagree with it?


New Member

I am wondering if any mummy has been in a similar situation where a joke gone wrong...? Here goes.

The other day we had a gathering at someone's house and were sitting watching TV in the living room when a scene showing a cow pass-motion came on screen. Upon that scene, an elder made a joking comment to my 6 years old son and said sth like, "eh ah boy why your shit so big like that!" and my son quickly responded to the joke in high pitch voice saying, "nooo, your shit is like that so big hahaha". The elder's face suddenly turned serious and said, "now that's rude" and looked at me expectantly to say something about it and I said casually, "Whyyy whats wrong? He was joking back laaa. You start the joke with him he continues it. No harm." And I just let the matter rest. With a hint of dissatisfaction, shortly I was told off by that elder that the way I saw the issue was wrong parenting and that my son could grow up to be disrespectful

Now as a mom, i don't take it lightly when strong words like "rude" is being used on my child when clearly it's the adult who started the joke first and my son was simply responding to it. I dont see anything rude about that? And it offends me that the elder said my parenting is bad just bcos I refuse to what? Scold him or tell him off just to appease that elder for feeling disrespected at my son's response?

I ended up arguing with that elder, standing my ground that she should not have started that sort of joke with my 6 years old boy if she cannot take a joke back. I insisted that kids learn through observation and interaction with people and they look up to adults. When the event was over, we ended up parting ways with a heavy heart due to the disagreement. We're good now but this incident left a stain on my mind.

To mummies out there, what would u do?
Aiya.. what’s the era now… can’t joke then dun joke in the 1st place.

However, perhaps you might want to guide your boy to be mindful and how to response when interacting with the elder to avoid any further conflict.