Hub has been cheating on me for 2 yrs. Willing to forgive him so long he gave up the other woman. But claim that he can't dump the woman just like that .We have 3 kids 2 teenagers boy and 1 pri school gal. Have been talking to try to save the marriage but think I have reached the stage that this marriage is no longer workable. He wants to have both worlds and insist I just be his normal family. I can't take it when he go out to stay with he other woman. So I decided to chase him out. He asked for divorce. Although I no longer hope for this marriage but I don't want to divorce to let him and that woman get their ways and start a family .The woman is 10yrs younger . What should I do ?
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Should I divorce or not?
- Thread starter Sadgal1
- Start date
newlife2010
Member
U already chase him out of the house, n pushing him to that women. It's very clearly u know what u wan. U can't let him have best of both world then let him go.
U don't divorce him and let him continue with the affair, I don't think it will affect him as he wan to have both.
Can I ask are u financially independant from him. Is he still giving u maintenance for your child
U don't divorce him and let him continue with the affair, I don't think it will affect him as he wan to have both.
Can I ask are u financially independant from him. Is he still giving u maintenance for your child
Like @newlife2010 mentioned, u hv chased him out of the house. If u still wants him physically back, you will hv mutually agree to his EMA to do so.
All you left is a breath of unfairness. U are seeking justice for yourself by holding onto the marriage, thinking by stopping them seeking happiness (marriage) you will b justified eventually...
Do note that they can still hv a family, or live a happy family life, without marriage? What will become of u then? A sour wife that keep banging on their doors in the middle of the night? Do you wan to end up ppl telling u off saying "aiyo, just let go can? U are disturbing ppl's family..".
Learn to love yourself. If your upbringing says "cannot accept" then listen and leave. Live a better life then before.
Yes, you may felt that your life is 'toasted', but only for now and only in your context. From other's POV, it's how u handle it and how u will become better in a diff situation.
Hence, thrive towards making ppl giving u a thumb up down the road.
All you left is a breath of unfairness. U are seeking justice for yourself by holding onto the marriage, thinking by stopping them seeking happiness (marriage) you will b justified eventually...
Do note that they can still hv a family, or live a happy family life, without marriage? What will become of u then? A sour wife that keep banging on their doors in the middle of the night? Do you wan to end up ppl telling u off saying "aiyo, just let go can? U are disturbing ppl's family..".
Learn to love yourself. If your upbringing says "cannot accept" then listen and leave. Live a better life then before.
Yes, you may felt that your life is 'toasted', but only for now and only in your context. From other's POV, it's how u handle it and how u will become better in a diff situation.
Hence, thrive towards making ppl giving u a thumb up down the road.
Last edited:
This is the old thinking of my ex-mil’s time. In her exact words - You just sit firmly on your chair , no one can take it away.
She told me this when I told her about my ex’s affair. She herself sat firmly on her chair too till her husband died but her husband spent his last 20 years with the other family not her. So what’s the point of holding on to a lifeless name or paper?
Like what all said, LOVE YOURSELF!
Letting go is not coward but to give yourself a chance. Don’t lower yourself to pit with them. In all ways they are not even fit to deal with you.
She told me this when I told her about my ex’s affair. She herself sat firmly on her chair too till her husband died but her husband spent his last 20 years with the other family not her. So what’s the point of holding on to a lifeless name or paper?
Like what all said, LOVE YOURSELF!
Letting go is not coward but to give yourself a chance. Don’t lower yourself to pit with them. In all ways they are not even fit to deal with you.
goggyforyoz
Member
First of all, if you are financially independent, you should divorce him. Since he asked for a divorce, tell him to get the lawyer. Give him 1-2 months time to find the lawyer. What u need from him as follows :
1) children maintenance - $500 each
2) the house
3) if you have no choice but to buy over the house, u can ask for not to refund his cpf. My lawyer told me since 2007/2009 we can do that. I divorced in 2005, so I can’t.
4) whether you want your alimony is up to yourself if your divorce idea is not to earn this kind of short cut money.
My opinion is, if I want to divorce. I would severe ties with him. Don’t want to in contact or see him.
In Singapore law, if he default child’s maintenance or alimony, u can bring him to jail.
1) children maintenance - $500 each
2) the house
3) if you have no choice but to buy over the house, u can ask for not to refund his cpf. My lawyer told me since 2007/2009 we can do that. I divorced in 2005, so I can’t.
4) whether you want your alimony is up to yourself if your divorce idea is not to earn this kind of short cut money.
My opinion is, if I want to divorce. I would severe ties with him. Don’t want to in contact or see him.
In Singapore law, if he default child’s maintenance or alimony, u can bring him to jail.
desparate_wife
Active Member
If u wait for a man to file for divorce, especially he have a 3rd party. The divorce will never come.First of all, if you are financially independent, you should divorce him. Since he asked for a divorce, tell him to get the lawyer. Give him 1-2 months time to find the lawyer. What u need from him as follows :
1) children maintenance - $500 each
2) the house
3) if you have no choice but to buy over the house, u can ask for not to refund his cpf. My lawyer told me since 2007/2009 we can do that. I divorced in 2005, so I can’t.
4) whether you want your alimony is up to yourself if your divorce idea is not to earn this kind of short cut money.
My opinion is, if I want to divorce. I would severe ties with him. Don’t want to in contact or see him.
In Singapore law, if he default child’s maintenance or alimony, u can bring him to jail.
If really thinking of divorce get adultery evidence, get your lawyer and file divorce and claim from him.
goggyforyoz
Member
If u wait for a man to file for divorce, especially he have a 3rd party. The divorce will never come.
If really thinking of divorce get adultery evidence, get your lawyer and file divorce and claim from him.
You know, divorce is also a game. If her hubby told her that he is ok to divorce, so let him get the lawyer. So he got to pay the legal fee. If woman go and file it, means woman side pay.
By the way, have your divorce before before you comment on this?
I understand what you mean by saying wait long for a man to take the action. But since the hubby already moved out, she can jolly well enjoy the moment without him and continue to bug him for expenses. While don’t let him has the freedom to marry the other woman as they not divorce yet. She can now play with time while forcing her hubby to get the lawyer and file it.
goggyforyoz
Member
Hub has been cheating on me for 2 yrs. Willing to forgive him so long he gave up the other woman. But claim that he can't dump the woman just like that .We have 3 kids 2 teenagers boy and 1 pri school gal. Have been talking to try to save the marriage but think I have reached the stage that this marriage is no longer workable. He wants to have both worlds and insist I just be his normal family. I can't take it when he go out to stay with he other woman. So I decided to chase him out. He asked for divorce. Although I no longer hope for this marriage but I don't want to divorce to let him and that woman get their ways and start a family .The woman is 10yrs younger . What should I do ?
If you want a female lawyer, I can recommend you. She is very good. Just pm me.
Hub has been cheating on me for 2 yrs. Willing to forgive him so long he gave up the other woman. But claim that he can't dump the woman just like that .We have 3 kids 2 teenagers boy and 1 pri school gal. Have been talking to try to save the marriage but think I have reached the stage that this marriage is no longer workable. He wants to have both worlds and insist I just be his normal family. I can't take it when he go out to stay with he other woman. So I decided to chase him out. He asked for divorce. Although I no longer hope for this marriage but I don't want to divorce to let him and that woman get their ways and start a family .The woman is 10yrs younger . What should I do ?
So sorry to hear your situation. It must be very difficult for you. Wish you all the best in whichever road u choose. It won't be easy either way, but do what's best for you and your children.
wendy_reborn
Active Member
I think u are not sure of process.You know, divorce is also a game. If her hubby told her that he is ok to divorce, so let him get the lawyer. So he got to pay the legal fee. If woman go and file it, means woman side pay.
By the way, have your divorce before before you comment on this?
I understand what you mean by saying wait long for a man to take the action. But since the hubby already moved out, she can jolly well enjoy the moment without him and continue to bug him for expenses. While don’t let him has the freedom to marry the other woman as they not divorce yet. She can now play with time while forcing her hubby to get the lawyer and file it.
If the husband commit adultery n she have the evidence. The husband have to pay for her lawyer.
If the husband file, and she accept the reason for divorce. Both pay their own lawyer.
You know, divorce is also a game. If her hubby told her that he is ok to divorce, so let him get the lawyer. So he got to pay the legal fee. If woman go and file it, means woman side pay.
By the way, have your divorce before before you comment on this?
I understand what you mean by saying wait long for a man to take the action. But since the hubby already moved out, she can jolly well enjoy the moment without him and continue to bug him for expenses. While don’t let him has the freedom to marry the other woman as they not divorce yet. She can now play with time while forcing her hubby to get the lawyer and file it.
No matter who file each have to engage their own lawyer.
Divorce is not a game it's a serious matter don't take it lightly.
If really u giving up do it fast. Don't drag as the man will try to give u lesser and lesser money as time go by. Or decrease his salary. At the end u suffer.
Also he can happy go on his life while u have to misery go on life as his wife in name
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