scared of intimacy/sex?

[newlosthusband]

My wife and I got ROM in early this year. Both of us are in our first relationship.
Sadly.our marriage seems broken down down for now and looks toward annulment.
I am looking to save the marriage

The official reason that she give me is that she is scared of intimacy/sex during our last talk.
She mentioned she felt uncomfortable when we had our first few intimacy, but she was curious and thought she will get used to it as we moved towards ROM.
Things got bad after ROM, as she mentioned that, instead of getting more comfortable, it is getting more uncomfortable and chore for her.
I admit it is partly my fault for failing to notice her uneasiness. She also admitted for her part for not letting me know her uneasiness sooner.

During intimacy period that we had, I had only reached 2nd base with her, while she reached 3rd base with me.
She mentioned that she wished to wait till the chinese wedding night, in which i didn't force her to consume the marriage and respected her wish.
We had looked forward our BTO and booked wedding banquet and gown this year.

Since we know there are issues for us, I convery my wish to her that we hold each other's hand and work this issue our together, like marriage counseling/sex therapy.
Sadly, she isn't much willing to do that.

As her husband, I am very distraught at what happened.
Would appreciate any advice....

 

[tiggerpooh]

@newlosthusband
Do u think watching adult movie will help? Mayb can also try lubricant...

However, if it's psychological on her end, their isnt really much u can do. Sex therapy may help but she will need 2 b willing...

Mayb instead of having sex... just foreplay? Does she enjoy that? I mean, if she is okie wif dat... n if u take it slowly, mayb she will b willing 2 go 2 d next level.

 

[Fervon]

Hi,
You can take the chance to 'rebuild' this relationship as there are many things/topics to decide when comes to BTO & Banquet.. (Like reno theme & budget --> To guest list & invites..etc) Have a good couple bonding this period! The intimacy thing will comes later naturally.

 

[newlosthusband]

@tiggerpooh
@Fervon

i also wish I could. She suddenly decided to break the marriage and dump her husband.
Parent and close friends suspect third party, although she keep insisting no.
she doesnot seems to be that kind of person..
Lies or truth ?

I feel that everything in be worked out together,except 3rd party...

 

[triple70]

Its so easy to get married but very difficult to get a divorce. Marriage itself is such a pain.

Clearly she doesnt love u. Perhaps things might change later as all relationships are constantly evolving.

Are u sure this is what u want?

 

[JL8118]

Sorry. May I know what is 'During intimacy period that we had, I had only reached 2nd base with her, while she reached 3rd base with me.'? What is 2nd or 3rd base? Pardon my knowledge...

Try go with more lubricant... Go for longer/more foreplay... Maybe can go for counselling?

 

[Carmen23]

I think I saw your post at hardwarezone, honestly I feel that you should get go. She is not coming back to you. If she can come out so many reasons just to get rid of this wedding, actually you should know this relationship don't work anymore. It's sad to let go a 3 years relationship especially wedding is coming, by right should have another honeymoon. All went down to drain now. The only thing you are blessed with is, both of you don't have a kid as a reason to tie you down.

Let go and find your happiness some where.