Premature babies support group

[kkf]

Hello mummies, never post yesterday because I was on MC. Not really that sick. Got diarrhea on saturday evening, sunday went see doctor, then recovered, but have asked doctor for monday MC just in case, so might as well stay at home to be with my little boy! (to eat snake)...haha!

Hi welcome xbliss. Sorry, didn't know much about your situation too. But not to worry so much. May everything goes well for you!

Jacelyn so have you solved your maid problem? I have no maid at home, cannot provide much help or information. But I think you should't be too kind. Sometimes, you are kind, but the other party may not be. If you are no longer comfortable with her, and do not trust her anymore, then you better find somebody else.

Nana, you bought quite a number of stuff for your boy too! hee.

Lindah how's your boy now?

Disneymickey, congrats on the weight of your gal!

me sooo tired...really wish can stay at home and no need to work with money falling from the sky! ha!

 

[lindah]

kkf, baby good. thanks.

attach pic. hahaha.

caption shud be :
<font color="0000ff">mummy is having more fun than i am!</font>

 

[neoah]

hi nana...welcome back its really nice to have someone to help at home hum...me too (esp on weekend) cannot wait for my husband to come back from work to take over and let me lax a while keke...

hi kkf -- this morning on bus to work, i am comtemplating to be a SAHM but think of $$$...have to give up the idea again hope you recover soon

 

[costa]

nana,
harlo, gr8 to "see" u here again....have just pm u.....can i link my blog to yours?

xbliss,
mich is right, u have to bedrest as much as possible to have the most rest...share any problems you have here and we wld try to help you...

lindah,
aiyoh, yr boy so adorable, so chubby...really feel like hugging him leh......such a good size...wat you feed him, ar?

 

[neoah]

hi lindah...oh you bought the green bumbo seat! your boy enjoy the sitting??

 

[lindah]

costa,
chubby but i want him to be tall leh! last week his wt was 5.5kg. I am getting lazy at feeding him 3hrly. wait for him to demand sometimes. maybe the malaysian-made neosure is higher in fats and calories.

jane,
i bought it from another mummy whose daughter din like it. He can sit for 5 mins (max) when he's full. when cranky, can forget it. He keeps straightening his back lor. I hope he gets used to it, man. That day he was so tired, he fell asleep in it.

I got photo of that but havent upload.

 

[neoah]

hi lindah...haha neo sure is power hum...my boy was on it for one time...

oh...so the bumbo seat really train their posture?? 5 mins is consider good liao. that time my boy did not even want to be in it for 2 mins (i rented and tried keke)... but i guess once your boy outgrow it, you can try to sell it away...many mummies ok with preloved bumbo seat cos it won't spoilt hehe

 

[disneymickey]

lindah,
oh, ur boy so chubby & cute in the bumbo. good. wat a big achievement, huh? u shld b proud of urself. everytime when i look thru my ger's initial birth pic, i sure feel proud of myself

pai seh, a bit hao lian here. but i'm sure all mommies here feel the same, esp what our dears (& us, too) hav gone thru intially.

kkf,
hope u recover alrdy? maybe it's the weather. i m oso having a terrible headache. prob go c doc after lunch.

 

[xbliss]

hi mummies, good morning. I had spoken to mich yesterday and really learnt a good lesson on bedrest. i had been pretty ill disciplined..just sit up at bed and call it bedrest. now trying to see how i can best rest down totally and type on the laptop at the same time!

many many thanks for the warm wishes. keeps me and the babies going. looking at the cute bb pics in this forum also gives me a lot hope!

i'll be going for my check up tomorrow. do hope to see the smaller bb's bladder this time as it would mean that he has grown instead of being stuck at his current weight and i can hopefully downgrade in terms of stage of twin twin transfusion.

one question through.. i have the polyclinic referral letter but kk doesnt need it! they claim i can go under subsidized rate even though i am seeing specialist cos of the unusual condition. can i know how those of you who went to subsidized wards managed to get subsidized? need to see medical social worker?

 

[scarlettohara]

hi mummies... i'm left alone to take care of my gal these few days as my MIL has gone for a short trip. Hee hee.. so far so good. She is ok in the morning, but in the evening, she always very grouchy.. I also dunno why? When my MIL is around, she will want my MIL to carry her only. Sometimes I feel so jealous! Do you all feel like that before? When your child wants someone else beside you? I feel so bad for feeling this way. Like so petty like that! My hubby and I can't seems to entertain her as well as my MIL does. Usually, we can only hold her attention for 15-20mins and at best if she is in good mood 30min. Then she will be very grumpy. Carry her also she cry, put her down she also cry, so we juz sent her into her sarong and give her the pacifier. But with my MIL, she can play for an hour! Sigh... i feel so rejected sometimes.

 

[didi]

lindah, I also put my 2 boys in the Bumbo seat, for the elder boy there is still enough room But.... for the younger boi his bum alway gets stuck, bum fleshy

quit gd, I would say, they usually sits for abt 15 mins.

lili, how old is your girl ? you mean she started recognising faces so young, hmmm

for my boys, they are ok with anyone even the maid who seldom carry them....

 

[neoah]

hi xbliss...what happen to me was when is sign up the package with KKH, i was to be under B class (4 bedded) but the day when my waterbag give way and i went into the A&E, i admit myself to C class (because was told may have to be warded quite sometime..). hence thereafter, all is subsidied. maybe...you can call and check with the hopsital billing dept??? just a suggestion....or other mummies can give some advise??

hi li li, hahahahhaha...if i were u.....i be just happy that my gal is being entertained. and don't worry..your gal is your gal, no matter what, she is close to you.. that is for sure.

even my boy now quite close with my maid and very very close to my mum...but i am ok heheheheh...

weekends i will spend all my time playing with my boy and come sleeping time...i will yang him to sleep ah...

 

[stressed]

Hi mummies,

My dd is ok liao. i brought her to Yu Guo for consectively 3 days to "gua sha" and tui na ie. taking comb to comb her back.

After the 2nd session, her body heat began to expel out by forms of red spots. No. It's not pox or measles.

Now she's ok. But after her fever gone, she was still cranky. Cry and cry and insist on being carried. Today *touch wood* my happy baby is back = smiling and NOT crying.

It's such a harrowing experience. Lucky I acted on my first instinct in bringing her to get her urine tested for UTI and later prick test to confirm viral fever.

Lili, No worries. Between my mum, me and husband, dd loves her grandma best. Always grandma. She dun even bother to look at me or my husband. One word from my mother, she'll come running to her. Me and husband can call until the cows come home and she'll ignore us.

Even when my mum goes to the toilet, she bang the door asking for my mum to come out. Never happens to me or hubbie.

And all these happens when my mum comes twice a week only! Imagine if my mum stays with us! Mummy and daddy are non-existance liao.

Although I'm a little jealous sometimes, ultimately I know I'm the mother. I say white means white. Black means black. Even my mum has to listen to me.

So no worries. U are always THE MOTHER.

 

[lindah]

jane, ya! v good material hor!

but if i sell off again i think will be at very cheap price.

disney, ya... i know what you mean. this morning i look at him wearing the 3-6mth romper and fill out so well, i thought... my goodness, he has come a long way!

xbliss, i dunno abt the subsidised thing. for me i was at private suite. but when contractions, i went A&E, they immediately admitted me to C-class to enjoy the subsidy.

I think they will recommend on case-to-case basis.

 

[xbliss]

i see..i will check it out tomorrow with the counter staff. the docs just keep reassuring me it will be subsidized (cos i have to go back for regular scans and procedures on an almost weekly basis) but dun tell me what to do. I checked with the nurses who ask me to ask the doc?! I'll find a familiar nurse tomorrow to ask. thanks!

 

[neoah]

hi stressed...good that your happy baby is back. after falling sick, they will bounce back very fast.

ya...my boy too like your gal..will glue to my mum like what kekeke...morning wake up, number one person want is ah ma keke...then recently i realised, pai say to say. i think he was not calling mama..he was calling ah ma .... but he is like ma ma ma like that...sigh...but its ok la haha.. like you say, we are always the Mother hehe

lindah, mmm ok la, sell a bit at lost better than kept and no use haha...

disneymickey...recently i BP a cartoon romper which is size 90..that day i bring out and let my boy wear..surprsie that he FIT! keke...thou a big long but ok hahahaha.. i was so happy

 

[lindah]

xbliss,

i think no need to do anything once they admit you to lower class. now my baby go for check up, i pay half of normal rate each time. e.g. see eye doctor actual rate $50-60, but I only pay $22 as the rest is subsidised. Need not do anything. Just sign the admittance form to C class lor. I heard even if you admitted to B-class, the medical social worker may come and help you downgrade your bb to C-class so tt can enjoy C-rate subsidy for your baby. Don't worry. She will come when baby has been delivered, I think... as they den will roughly know how long bb will stay. They are quite efficient - KKH.

 

[twins_mummy]

Lindah
Wah... Your boy grows so well under your TLC!

Jane
Si mi medical studies? All lifted from books lah.

Lili
Some Babies tend to show preference for the main caregiver.
My boys exhibited the same behaviour too when they were younger.
My Twin 2 used to wake up in the middle of the night and could only go back to sleep when my maid came into the room to pat him.

When my Twin 1 cried and fussed, only my mum could pacify him.
My 10 mth old niece is exhibiting the same behaviour now. When both my mum and sister are around, she will reach towards my mum.
Try to spend as much time with your gal as possible after a while, you will be her first choice and she will cling onto you, leaving you with no space of your own. This is wat happening to me now

KKf
Hope you are better today.

Xbliss
Nice talking to you and I hope the miracle babies in this thread give you encouragement and support to hang in there.
For my case, I was warded in Class C before I did the procedures. And it was Class C all the way. The boys stay in NICU were also under Class C rates.

Costa
How are you? Was the weekend very manic?

Jacelyn
Hey... U were quiet yesterday? Everything ok?

 

[luanaw]

Hi mummys,

I'm a new member on this thread. My premie gal just turned one recently. She was born at 27wks + 2 days on 18th July 06. She spent 80 days in KKH. It was the most trying period of my life...
It's amazing now thinking back how she fought for her precious life. SHe had so many ailments :

first was an ecoli blood infection,suspected brain bleeds, Then, the duct in the heart which needed to close with two rounds of medicaton, CLD, Hernia and Anemia... we thought we would never see the end of the road. But God was gracious and kind, she finally came home to us on
6th October 06.

Like costa, my eldest is in P1 as well.
After her, I had 2 consecutive unsucessful pregnancies. That's probably how we managed to hold on to every hope and were so strong for our premie.

She's a real fighter, even now. Cannot sit still, always squirming, always perspiring.
One thing is true, she is really playing a catch-up game, that's what the Pade says. Premie babies need to play catch up with the rest. She loves to eat, all sorts of cereal,fruit, porridge and even rice.

I've recently started Breastfeeding again, cos I just gave birth 7 weeks ago to another gal. Now both gals are having mummy's milk. Strange but true, I never thought this was ever possible. My 2nd and 3rd gals are 50 weeks apart. It's almost like having twins, Irish Twins, that's what an Amoh friend of mine calls it. But u noe what?
Damn tiring man, really need good helpers, if not, sure 100% peng san.

 

[stressed]

Oh Luana, U are my idol! U restart BF again. My BM becoming powder soon. How I wish I can tandem feed my dd....

BM is best milk!

 

[stressed]

Lindah, ur ds is sooo chubby! I was to pinch those cheeks!

 

[kkf]

Luana My son is 27 weekers plus too!!! He stayed around 2 months from october 15 to december 18 2005.

My son also garna blood infection leh! It went up to the brain too...long story...haiz.

Anyway, two unsuccessful pregnancies as in? miscarriages? Me will really like to have another too! hope can successfully have another one like you.

Lili!!! same situation. My boy even worse I think. Whenever his gong gong around, we are like invisible to him! I feel soooo jealous, and so thinking of putting him into childcare and dun let my in laws care for him! haha!

Hi stressed yu guo really not bad hor? Me very faithful in bringing my son there every week, tiring but have to...

Lindah, your boy sooo cute!! hee...wow it seems like just yesterday that we were encouraging you to have faith in your boy! Your boy really does wonder!

Hi Hi thanks to all mummies who ask about me, me ok now, back work...just that after food, still worry will need to go toilet!

xbliss, I gave birth in raffles so cannot really give you much advice. But when I transferred my boy to kkh, the social worker helped a lot to fight for subsidised rate for us.

Jane, me too, no money, you can see I am a big spender on toys, books, clothes, blar blar...haha, how can not work?

 

[neoah]

wow luana..wow you really is very strong mum... i wonder when my next one will come. my boy is a 26 weekers

mich .. but if by just (sound so easy) to lift up from books..wow then you sure is a good dictator cos you can remember all the terms etc (off hands). costa is anther one who is always off hand able to share on this areas too...

Lindah .. ya ya really your ds really is chubby and eye so big...

kkf -- mmm.... i am even comtemplating to work partime or wat but then.... makes me wonder will my boy welcome me at home. now he is like having so much fun everyday with my maid and mum (like i say the 3 of them is having rolling fun time at home...). he only love me when i yang him to sleep or when i carry him and dance and skip (which neither my mum nor my maid is able to haha)...

the dance and skip is the only thing that i think he love me for hahahahaha....Pai say to say ah keke. other wise he like it only when i do the barney song (i love u, u love me, we are happy family...with a big hug from me to u ...won't u say u loveeeeee eeee meeee too) haha!!

mummies who read this thread must be laughing hahaha.

but try sing this songs to your bbs then combine with action. they love it keke. no wonder barney make big bucks and jane is still working hard on the calculator and spreadsheets keke

where is jacelyn today...oh where oh where..where is jacely...

 

[costa]

Luana,
welcome you here...din noe you got two unsuccessful pregnancies like me before number two came along but glad tt number three came smoothly for u

seems just so recently tt we had our bbs at the same time.din noe yr ger got ecoli..my kid also kena sepsis..tink it was from me...

wah, doing tandem bfdg, not easy man...even for my second one...was on partial bfdg as there wasnt enough....

yr 2nd ger vy active..same as mine..cant sit still and also crawls all over the place and makes alot of noise...

hope tt yr appts wif the docs getting less and less..and tt yr ger is catching up well...

hp to see u here more often when you free

mich,
was okay last wk as maid was around..dun noe how to manage two kids on my own and wif my backache...the thot of it makes me vy sian...

 

[lindah]

thanks mummies for the compliment. i shall strive on to make him chubbier if i can!

okay, here goes. my blog w my son's pic is at http://mummylindah.multiply.com/

do drop by if you have time.

welcome luana.

the mummies here definitely make my journey easier.

hope to learn from you. oh, my son is 24+6 weeker. now 3mth corrected.

 

[neoah]

lindah...Hami really cute!!!! wow wish i can hug hug him

 

[lindah]

thks jane.

i dunno whether can make mummylian's party this weekend... if i go can meet you. you can hug hami. hahahaha.

 

[kkf]

party party? how come never invite me har mummylian?

 

[kkf]

Lindah pretty mum leh!! Your boy so cute. Me very overwhelmed by the number of neosure you bought at JB! Must costs a bomb?

 

[lindah]

kkf, mummylian got post the info abt her party in the thread lah... she ask us to PM her if we can make it!

i am photogenic lah, not realli pretty. u havent see my fats. haha. the neosure 20 cans cost me RM420 - about SGD200. I saved about SGD 100.

 

[scarlettohara]

hi launa, welcome to the thread. Glad to hear that you have a full term pregnancy for your third child and your gal is back with you. Your preemie is almost reaching one yr old soon right? Happy birthday to her in advance. Some of the mummies here juz had one year old birthday celebration with their kids. It's a great day to look forward to.

Didi, my gal is about 4mths now, corrected reaching 2 months in a week time. I guess she does recognised us or maybe recognised our smell and voice!!

Thanz Mummies, at least I know i'm not the only mummy having this problem and it's quite common for our precious to have their favourite other than their mummies.

Sometimes i feel so sad because I think I go thru' so much with my gal and now she don't remember me. Aiya, so childish of me right?


Aiya, it's a vicious cycle. I feel so jealous then i feel so angry with myself for being such a silly goose and then I end up feeling upset. I told my husband I need to get back to work quickly or else I will go crazy at home vying for my gal's attention with my mother-in-law! I think i'm showing signs of a control freak!

Actually jane, you are right. As long as she is entertained and happy, i should feel glad. rather than i keep antagonizing her if she really doesn't want me to carry. I need need need to change my mindset!

Thanks to all who shared. I really feel so much better now talking it out. I told my husband but he didn't think it's a big deal and he would say he is also on Coco ( our gal) blacklist wat?? so I also don't want to keep harping on it. Sometime, juz need to talk it out...

 

[lindah]

jacelyn... where are you leh?

 

[costa]

KKf, mummylian got invite all of us to go for her ger birthday party..u missed out on her posts......?it was smtime back...its tis saturday...details, u can pm me...

lili,
do you noe tt my first kid was vy close to my ex maid and i used to get so mad and before he cld even reach the lift on the same floor when we brot him out..he cried until like dun noe wat

anyway, its good for bbs to form an attachment to smbody...they wld noe who are their parents ultimately

my maid left after two yrs to go home and my son forgot all about her and then was close to my mum...now he is close to me also.....

imagine if my son stuck to me like glue, how to go to work.....haha but dun learn from me lah, im not vy maternal, one..haha

 

[neoah]

hi li li - ya..talk it out. many times, we don't that actally we are not the only ones facing certain issue you are not a silly goose...you a strong and capable mum. as you say, u have gone thru so much...

well..do u know. this morning when i was going out, my boy was so busy playing with my maid. i say bye bye to him and went to hug him...he 2 hands push me away...then he look at me...and just like wave his hand (in no directions) and continue to play his toys in his hand...so...erh... i just laugh it off la

like costa say...eventually they are still closer to us...

lindah ... i am still thinking if can or cannot go to mummylian gal birthday too....

 

[twins_mummy]

Good Morning Mummies

Welcome Luana

Lindah
Another young and pretty mummy...
You all make me feel so senior leh.

Jane
The oh where.. Oh where.. is a nursery rhyme right?
I heard it before but cannot recall how it goes?

Xbliss
Keep us posted on the check up.

Costa
Bringing the boys to see the occupational therapists this Friday. This will be the last follow up for 2007.
Next one will be 3 Jan 2008 with Dr Argawal.

 

[neoah]

hi mich..good morning hope office is no longer a mad house today (all within good control of mich)... today me on Afernoon leave. shall see if can buy some bb biscuits for my boy hahahaha...

yes yes..the oh where is a song found in barney collection keke...

oh talking abt occupatoinal thereaphist...i have not rang to check if my boy need to see them for his october appointments..better call now...

 

[costa]

Mich,
tell me more abt the occupational therapists after friday....u bring both to see doc agarwal on same day right?can save alot of time, haha

i think i really lost touch wif all this barney etc characters leh.....

jane,
yr boy has to see occupational therapists?is not same as the physio tt you see together wif the neo nat right?

 

[lindah]

mich,
i saw your pic before. you are very pretty and slim! for me, i have no hope of being slim. hv never been and will never be slim. , my mummy said she took too much baking powder while pregnant wif me.

eh where is jac, ah? wonder if she is ok... usually see her online leh...

jane, enjoy your half day

 

[neoah]

hi costa...hmm first time he see occupational theraphist was in July. that was not arranged. that was when we were there to see Dr A. then suddenly they came and say my boy has 'an appointment' and yes, that is not the same physio he see when he have appointments with Dr A.

i am not sure..cos never ask Dr A in july is it everytime my boy has to see the occupational theraphist (other than the physio which is like standard) when he see Dr A.

so ...i thought i called and ask the Occupational theraphist dept keke... but jsut now i rang..no one pick up ah

but in july, my boy there to do his '8/9 mths review' so i am not sure is it just for that special review he has to see the OT too...

hehehehe...barney i just pick up because recently one of my boy present was a barney storybook..then...my boy so 'glue' to the barney picture..so i decide to learn the songs by heart so can just sing to him haha..then plus my own created actions hehe...

linah..thanks ) ya..mich too is really a modern and pretty mum...jane is really a plain jane...hahahahhaha....

ya..where is jac....

 

[twins_mummy]

Jane
Today I am very free. Thinking of where to go for lunch later.
Raining heavily outside and those who drive are out of town, so left with not many choices.
Are you going for some retail therapy later? Happy shopping.

Costa
Yes, bring both each visit.
Barney When Bernard is older, your memory will be refreshed. Haha...
I dun like the look of the purple dinosaur but bo pian cos the boys like.
I hope they dun ask for a Barney cake for their bday next year! Urghhh... Not nice.

Lindah
Hey hey... Wait a minute... Where and when did you see my picture har?

 

[neoah]

hi mich...no ah..actually not gg shopping. i need to run off. i PM u tomorrow ah hehe...

haha ya..why the dinosaur can make so much money ahhahaha..makes jane wonder keke...

have a good afternoon mummies..jane logging off liao.

 

[lindah]

bye jane... njoy your break.

plain meh, then how come your hubby kena hook on you! must be got something special one...

mich... i got many lobangs lor... hahahaha. actually saw a gathering photo, then saw slim n pretty lady in pic so i ask who was that lah.

then happen to find out from diff source you are ex-crew. wah. confirm then. must be pretty n well-maintained. hahah. crew got standard one!

 

[irenelovej]

halo mummies,
long long time nvr logged on. was very busy with work n as usual, no time at home as need to take care the boy. saw lots of postings n new members. so happy the thread is active w all mummies here sharing experince.

I read some posting about maid. I'm getting a maid coming soon as i'll be delivering 2nd baby in the coming yr end. I'm worried about the maid after hearing lots of bad experience around, but no choice. Since there're so many mummies here have experience with maid, i'd like to ask few question to clear my doubt:

1) How should i pay the maid? should i give her cash or bank in? if give cash, would it hav problem w her w cash on hand and would there be any issue if she claim that i nvr give her pay? if bank in, do u let her keep ATM card? if she needs money we have to help her withdraw money fr bank?

2) Do we need to buy them their daily household things like shampoo, shower gel etc? should not allow them to use ours is it?

3) Do we have to separate their meals from us?

4) How to keep them busy with work on hand all the time? do we allow them watch TV, take a nap in the afternoon? My house is quite small n there won't be always hav work to do. So i'm afraid if i spoilt her of less work to do now, when my 2nd baby comes she'll be lazy to cope w more work then.

Pls share w me ur experience abt tis. i'm very lost.

 

[costa]

irenelovej,
1.usually maid agents wld tell the maid how much is their salary and give you a spreadsheet on how much to pay each mth..there is a place for her to sign when she gets her salary...

dun open account for her until she accumulates a certain amt wif you if not you wld incur the admin charges...dun let her keep the atm card..or ask the agent..as currently, i din open account for my maid..

2. rgding household thgs..u can make it clear tt she supplies her own..dun spoil her first...later, see how...if she wanna buy, u may need to buy for her or else buy those no frills brand....smtimes they may hv their own preferences...

3.meals,after cooking, we will take out the food and put in a separate plate for her to eat....or in the afternoon, if onli my mum, maid and son....my mum wld ask her to eat together

usually, she eats at the kitchen area alone although i told her to eat at the table..she is used to it after wking in UAE....

4.TV wise...it depends...dun make it a habit...as for napping...it also depends..if she does night feed, see if she is sleepy...if she is and vy tired, then perhaps you can let her take a nap but dun make it a habit..

my maid sleeps in the afternoon smtimes as i noe its tiring....'

all this all depends one.....i dun hv much experiences wif maids as so far, i onli have two...and not for vy long periods of time

hp tis helps...

 

[disneymickey]

hi mommies,

posted something this morning, but think connection got prob, din manage to appear here..

anyway, lili, dun worry abt ur kid. she'll know who's mommy & daddy. my ger oso like tat. weekday, she'll stick to my mom. but evening, she'll wan ah gong to carry, cos she wans to go downstairs & wait 4 mommy. weekends, she'll sometimes dun wan my mom to carry.

but i understand the feeling of being rejected. esp we put in so much effort to take care of the bb. but dun worry la, it's juz a phase.

irene,
no maid, so can't advise u.. but i'm sure many other mommies here can share w u their valuable experiences

 

[disneymickey]

hi mommies,

posted something this morning, but think connection got prob, din manage to appear here..

anyway, lili, dun worry abt ur kid. she'll know who's mommy & daddy. my ger oso like tat. weekday, she'll stick to my mom. but evening, she'll wan ah gong to carry, cos she wans to go downstairs & wait 4 mommy. weekends, she'll sometimes dun wan my mom to carry.

but i understand the feeling of being rejected. esp we put in so much effort to take care of the bb. but dun worry la, it's juz a phase.

irene,
no maid, so can't advise u.. but i'm sure many other mommies here can share w u their valuable experiences

 

[lindah]

hi irene,

1. my mum handles the pay so i cant ans you tt, but i know we gv her cash in case she wants to TT money back to her family.

2. my mum supplies for her as long as it's reasonable (shampoo, soap, sanitary napkins). her clothes washed in the same wash as us. i guess shud be ok unless she's dirty (in which case u wont want her either!)

3. she can take from out pots and pans anytime she wants to eat. but we dun sit together. the maid always eat by herself in kitchen. my family eat at dining table. (but my MIL let hers eat at table if no one else is using the table)

4. TV, only if she's done w her work. usually around 6-7pm like tt. max 1hr show lah. but my current maid is very good. dun care much for TV. so we gv her an old radio to keep her company while she iron clothes and cooks. it depends on the maid one. i had one who will sit down every afternoon to write in her diary. but none tt naps. at most, we allow them to sleep at 930 if they are big sleepers. aiya, before baby come, you make her wash and iron all bb's clothes and make sure all dust wiped from the whole house lor. i think that's a lot oredi.

 

[twins_mummy]

Irenelovej
My 2 cents worth:

(1) For her monthly salary, we give cash. I have a payment spreadsheet and each time she takes her pay, she has to sign on hers and my copies. This will prevent any disputes in future on salary payment.

(2) I buy for my maid: Shampoo, shower soap, toothbrushes and toothpastes. She pays for her own sanitary napkins.
She is allowed to use our laundry detergent and she hand wash her own clothes.

(3) If my mum cooks. She will put aside a portion of the dishes onto a plate for my maid. If we buy food back, we will get her a packet.
When we eat out, she eats the same food as us.

(4) My friends hb allows the maid to watch TV and she gets addicted. In the evening, she will finish her work quickly and sit in front of the TV with the family. Sometimes, she continues to watch after the family has gone to bed! I cannot tolerate this. So strictly no TV for my maids. I guess it all boils down to how auto the maid is.
Newspapers is ok.

(5) Nap my maid does not nap. She is well rested in the night. She usually sleep at 10 plus and wake up at around 6 in the morning.

Treat them nice but dun spoil them. What is your priority? Housework or kids?

 

[lindah]

irene,

the best if you can write down for her her routine duties for her to familiarise. for e.g. my mum expect her to

- make breakfast
- water the plants
- sweep the floor
- mop/vacumm every 3 days
- wipe furniture once every 3 days
- wash toilet every week
- cook lunch by 12noon, tidy kitchen
- do the laundry, iron clothes
- reheat food for dinner by 6pm, tidy kitchen
- keep food in fridge after everybody finished
- take out food that need to thaw and prep food to cook the next day (e.g. peel and blend onions/peel potatoes)

once in awhile, then got adhoc task lor like cleanup storeroom, help hang curtain, etc. but normally in the evening after heating the food for our dinner, she can rest, read book, write letter, wateva she want lah. she oso not expected to be on full standby all day.

 

[costa]

lindah,
agree wif you but must add a clause "plus other tasks deemed necessary by employer"haha.sekali, not in list she dun wanna do

i gv her the list but so far i think the list also disappeared liao...and we play it by ear but so far, touch ood, she seems okay and auto..

we dun allow the maid to wash the clothes wif us in the washing machine...