Littlesunshines
New Member
Hi all,
Really hope to get some advice as I'm feeling depressed everyday. A little background of me: I'm married in 2014 (shotgun) and my daughter is now 19months and I'm pregnant with no.2 (due nov 2016) and I'm contemplating divorce (or separation for that matter.) We have a bto flat ready in 2019.
It wasn't third party or money problem, but more of communications. Everytime we talk its bound to lead to quarrel and I'm sick and tired of it. We actually wanted to separate last year July 2015 and went to lawyers already, but he apologize and said to change but after 'starting all over again', slowly I can see things are going back to the way it was. He didn't physically abuse me, but he is verbally abusive, to which I don't denial I 'shoot' him back twice as bad also.
Just two days back, my daughter went to pre-school and gotten fever so we rush her to KK hospital in the middle of the night, and I have been up since 6am that day and being a pregnant woman, I'm exhausted all the time from pregnancy and taking care of my daughter, he accuse me of not being 'friendly' when I talked to him at the hospital while waiting for our turn. He himself wasn't very patient when talking to me but I didn't want to start another quarrel 3am in the hospital so I gave him the cold treatment all the way until we reached home. The next day morning 8am (he slept in his bro room as his snoring is too damn loud and I slept in our room with daughter) I woke him up and asked him about the medicines and he went (very unwillingly) to take and made some very sarcastic remarks and to which I called him back in the very exact words that he used on me the night before (he called me a f**king idiot) and he threw the medicine on the bed. I got so angry I went to living room and threw it back at him.
How could anyone treat a sick daughter like that ? He always assume he is very tired from work and in the whole damn world he is the most tired person.
Both of us are working full time. And he claim that he is not the caring sort and instead, is the practical kind. During courtship, of course he is caring and all. But slowly through out our marriage, take for example my confinement with my first baby, he can just go missing at night when my mum is sleeping over at my place to help me out.
We talked lesser and lesser, and on normal days, after my work I'll do some chores like folding clothes until he comes back, and he will play video games after watching an episode of show together with me. It's been a routine and when it comes to sex, it's non existence. He claim he doesn't have the urge for it and I've tried to asked him to go for marriage counselling so many times or to the doctors, but being such an egoistic person he just procrastinate and brush it off.
I am really very sick and tired of living this way and feeling so depressed every day. And to top it off, the worst is I don't get along well with my own family and my parents are living in a one room rental and there is no way I can move back if I get a divorce. And I understand I will suffer a penalty regarding the BTO as we haven even get the key.
He don't even ask how am I feeling, do
I feel well. And when I tell him that I need emotional support, even after breaking down infront of him so many times, he will just tell the same old reason that he is a practical guy, not a emotional one. And every time we talk, we can't bring the conversation too far as he will start to talk louder and we will quarrel and the convo will once again, stop.
I really hope some one can shine some light and give some advice.
Really hope to get some advice as I'm feeling depressed everyday. A little background of me: I'm married in 2014 (shotgun) and my daughter is now 19months and I'm pregnant with no.2 (due nov 2016) and I'm contemplating divorce (or separation for that matter.) We have a bto flat ready in 2019.
It wasn't third party or money problem, but more of communications. Everytime we talk its bound to lead to quarrel and I'm sick and tired of it. We actually wanted to separate last year July 2015 and went to lawyers already, but he apologize and said to change but after 'starting all over again', slowly I can see things are going back to the way it was. He didn't physically abuse me, but he is verbally abusive, to which I don't denial I 'shoot' him back twice as bad also.
Just two days back, my daughter went to pre-school and gotten fever so we rush her to KK hospital in the middle of the night, and I have been up since 6am that day and being a pregnant woman, I'm exhausted all the time from pregnancy and taking care of my daughter, he accuse me of not being 'friendly' when I talked to him at the hospital while waiting for our turn. He himself wasn't very patient when talking to me but I didn't want to start another quarrel 3am in the hospital so I gave him the cold treatment all the way until we reached home. The next day morning 8am (he slept in his bro room as his snoring is too damn loud and I slept in our room with daughter) I woke him up and asked him about the medicines and he went (very unwillingly) to take and made some very sarcastic remarks and to which I called him back in the very exact words that he used on me the night before (he called me a f**king idiot) and he threw the medicine on the bed. I got so angry I went to living room and threw it back at him.
How could anyone treat a sick daughter like that ? He always assume he is very tired from work and in the whole damn world he is the most tired person.
Both of us are working full time. And he claim that he is not the caring sort and instead, is the practical kind. During courtship, of course he is caring and all. But slowly through out our marriage, take for example my confinement with my first baby, he can just go missing at night when my mum is sleeping over at my place to help me out.
We talked lesser and lesser, and on normal days, after my work I'll do some chores like folding clothes until he comes back, and he will play video games after watching an episode of show together with me. It's been a routine and when it comes to sex, it's non existence. He claim he doesn't have the urge for it and I've tried to asked him to go for marriage counselling so many times or to the doctors, but being such an egoistic person he just procrastinate and brush it off.
I am really very sick and tired of living this way and feeling so depressed every day. And to top it off, the worst is I don't get along well with my own family and my parents are living in a one room rental and there is no way I can move back if I get a divorce. And I understand I will suffer a penalty regarding the BTO as we haven even get the key.
He don't even ask how am I feeling, do
I feel well. And when I tell him that I need emotional support, even after breaking down infront of him so many times, he will just tell the same old reason that he is a practical guy, not a emotional one. And every time we talk, we can't bring the conversation too far as he will start to talk louder and we will quarrel and the convo will once again, stop.
I really hope some one can shine some light and give some advice.