Need suggestion on whether shall i send my younger to childcare?

[happymama24]

So sorry to asking . Because i really been thinking for very long . Just this year jan i send my elder to cc.
because i haven been sahm flr 4 years and he dont like to talk at all. So i send him in and really got big improvement but the bad things was falling sick for nearly every month. And j still got younger kids at the age of 2+ gg 3. And my mom have been take care of my younger one for me because i do not have any help from my inlaw . So after j send my elder to sch and i come back home take care of my younger then around 6plus j go fetch my elder takecare both of them at night my mom will help me to make my younger sleep. But my elder sleep from young till now not very good always sleep awhile or sleep at midnight. Trained to sleep early before but no use.

And i thinking shall i send my younger go to childcare too. Because i cant take the stress anymore just like whatever i do is wrong. Not that j cant look after two myself i just simply stress out because when my elder sick fever my parent scold me. When younger sick my parent scold me. everything also scold me shout at me. Like is not im the one doing. And j trying already then always get scold for like nothing. Then why not i just send my younger to school with elder will it be better? Because look like no one wanted to help me anymore. Everybody is asking me not to send my younger go sch but also not intend to help me. But i just getting scolded again and again for nothing.

 

[happymama24]

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[frog]

I am sorry to hear that you feel so stressed. It sounds like you feel a bit helpless at times, right?

About children falling sick at childcare centre - This is part and parcel of growing up. My #1 used to get sick all the time, and I had to goto work - so I always take off days, off days, and off days. My colleagues back then were very supportive. They said this is a passage of rite that every parent and child will go through. Do not feel guilty. And then I asked the doctor, should I just stay at home and take care of my #1? They always say NO NO. Falling sick will make them become stronger later on in life. Now she is 9 and doesn't get sick easily. But it isn't easy. I went through the same with #2 and #3.

About parents blaming us when kids get sick - My mom does that too, and so does my MIL - so what? Lock them up at home isn't a solution. They need to harness communication and social skills, much more important than anything else. I can take care of babies but probably isn't suited to take care of toddlers all day everyday. I would run out patience and of things to do!

About help from others - It sounds like you expect to be helped. Maybe you started lucky. Maybe this is also very Asian and Singapore, we get a lot of help from family and maids. But in reality, people in the UK and US and Australia etc have no help. I have no help from MIL and mom - they only want to play, give comments, criticize, and interfere.

You can consider sending both to childcare centre. After you are done with housework and dinner, you can fetch them home earlier - 4 or 5pm. This gives time for some play and settle down before dinner. Then, dinner at 6pm. Shower, playtime, then sleep at 8pm. The good thing about early bedtime for kids is that you can continue with housework later on, or you can spend some quality time over late dinner with husband, or just watch tv, etc. Very crucial to set aside couple time.

It can be some other arrangement but you need to have some balance and routine in place. It would help you feel more "in control" and more independent.

 

[shoppixe]

Just send. If you break down both your kids suffer.
There will never be a right thing to do with kids. There will always be something somewhere ppl say we can do better. But even if mothers dun eat sleep or poop and devote all out energy and time to taking care of our children there will still be something that is not good enuff.
I'm staying w my parents, it also came to a point I told them off, it's my kid. Shut it. I dun nd you to comment. Then they know I'm seriously pissed alrd.from then on a lot less comments.
I also said before "if u dun help dun comment"
It's all not nice things to say to ur parents but sometimes it might help u that lines are drawn.

Jia you!!!