*********my hubby cannot provide**************

[poohpooh80]

I am fed up with my life with my hubby of 2 yrs. My baby is now 7mths and I just went back to work recently as my hubby cannot provide. He is not learning not much and now with a baby we are even more financially strain.

1) Firstly, he doesnt have much qualification. He has only a ITE cert. Now he is taking a Diploma in IT but dunno when is he going to finish.

2) He doesnt hold a proper job. In his past few jobs, he doesnt last long. He was giving boss prob in every job. Almost all his bosses in every job, needs to call me and ask me where is he coz he doesnt answer their calls.

3) He doesnt have plans on what he wants to do or for the family

4)Aft we got married, he flirt with other woman

5)He can't even provide the basic needs for his family - he doesnt even have enuff to buy milk powder.

6) Before the mth end, he will left abt less than $10 in his bank. He is drawing only less than 2k a mth.

6) He hits me during my preg. Before and after my preg, he also hit me abt 3 times.

For his gd points, he takes good care and love my baby alot. He will wake up and fed her at 5 or 6 when my baby cries for milk.

I am 'sian' with him and this family. I tot many times of leaving him and give my baby for adoption. Then I led my own life.

I want a good and stable life. I want my hubby to earn and have a gd job.

What shld I do? I really getting sick of this family. Now I look at my baby, I am holding on but I dun know how long can I hold.

 

[ali50n]

1. Ur husband is taking diploma in poly or private schools? poly is 5 yrs for part time, while private can be 6 - 18 mths.

2. Is he like this before marriage?

3. Since he is bad in planning y not u plan?

4. Flirt is by verbal or both?

5 & 6. U take charge of his money n give him montly pocket money, trust me he will not be able to try things funny.

Before u let him hit u, tell him if he hit u again u will call police n ask for PPO. Does ur in-laws knows all these problems? My hubby also earn less 2k but with proper planning we can survive, we have a 9mth old baby girl too.

 

[scensual5]

IMHO, you may leave your husband but not your child. I understand the feeling of having a 'useless' man of the house. Fact is, we DO NOT need them! They make our life miserable and unless you do something abt it, they will not change.

 

[wasabi126]

My husband is exactly the same as your husband, even with the hitting. As least your husband is upgrading himself with a Diploma in IT. My husband is only an "O-Level" and he's not having the slightest interest to improve himself. We have 2 kids with the second one born 7 months ago and I have to go back to work early when my baby is 5 months old (I'm supposed to be on one year maternity leave) because his salary can't even pay our house mortage, let alone buy milk powder. I wonder a lot of times what am I doing with such a useless man who can't provide for the family. And then I remembered our marriage vow that we have to love each other in sickness and in health, for richer and poorer, etc. It is our own choice to marry our husband so we shouldn't be having any regrets but to make the best out of it. Your husband does care a lot for the family and you as well just by looking at him helping to take care of baby in the early wee hours. My husband does the same as well, he will take care of our baby at night while I get my precious sleep. For me, I earn 3 times more than my husband and I can easily walk out of the family and live my own comfortable life. But I just can't do it because I find that it will be unfair to my 2 children and my husband too. Come to think of it, the hard times usually leave you the good memories when you are older and reflect back on your life. This is just part of the journey in life and life is not a bed of roses. It's through these hard times that we grow stronger and more mature. I would like to encourage you to have a positive thinking and you will start to see the beauty of life even during difficult times. You may even think that what you are going through now is kinda sweet as both of you are working hard to support and protect your very own family.

 

[kaitlynangelica]

TO me, hitting is a no no. Sorry to be negative but I would have walked out a long time ago.

 

[mehui]

Agree with xmasbaby

I personally will not tolerate physical abuse. Just not right and respectful + terrible for kids.

 

[missyme]

my ex also abused me physically, mentally and sometimes sexually..after sometimes i finally got a divorce but thankfully i have no children with him..you hv to make a decision based on your child too..do you want your child to grow up in such an environment? I feel sorry for you but ultimately it's your call and yes you did said 'yes' to the marriage..you should know the person you married in the 1st place...like my ex..i regretted ROMing him and it causes me many personality disorder thereafter..*sigh* i know we fall into the category of 'thinking the other person might change for good'..but no lor fact is fact..they won't change de..

 

[mehui]

Alot of ppl stay on because they want kids to have parents. Am wondering if it's more damaging to have abusive parent or more blissful with one consistent, loving parent.

Is it not possible to talk things through with spouse who's abusive? So what are you going to do, Melissa?

 

[dibolove]

Im sorry to hear abt what you're gng thru...Hv u ever tried talking to him? Its not gonna be easy but at least you know you've tried...Hes taking part time studies and how is he progressing so far? Does he share what happened @ work or sch? You hv to first find out reason for his action and work out
The solution..

U did mention he takes good care of you and loves your child, and the problem seems to be in the form of financial which contributes to many factors...

Ever consider asking his parents to talk to him abt his job? Dat is if ure not successful..my point of view...

Whatever it is, I wish you all the best and hope the hard time passes thru fast...