very_very_hurt
New Member
Hi!
I am 30 years old, married for 7 years with 3 kids. My hb is 29 years old, handsome and tall. Unlike me, I have put on a lot of weight after giving birth and totally dun take care of my looks anymore.
He is an insurance agent and currently I'm not working due to many stress in our marriage. My kids are 6, 4 and 2 years old.
I am sorry if I'm too long winded, I will try to cut short.
I know my hb for 1-2 years before getting married as I was pregnant. Before finding out my pregnancy, he actually suddenly disappear. When I found him, he ignored me and had a woman with him. As I didn't know I'm pregnant then, I tried to commit suicide for him and was hospitalized. After knowing that I'm pregnant, he came back to me saying that he will take responsibility and explained that the woman is just a friend that he made used to make me angry. So we got married.
During first year of marriage, he took good care of me and spent time with me often. After he joined insurance, everything changed. He started to go out till late at night. When asked, he said he meeting clients, friends. But still, he will take me out meet his friends once a while.
Second year past by very fast, everything was well. Then, I'm pregnant with my second baby. Due to my unstable pregnancy, I have to give up my job and problems all araised. We started to have financial problems and owe credit cards money. But still, our relationship was strong. He still brings me out and cares for me.
Into the 4th year, I got pregnant again but I held a job then. Suddenly, my hb changed into another person. He came home very late at night, 4-5am, or sometimes don't even come home at all. When asked, he finds me very irritating. We started to have big quarrels. After quarreling, I still will not know where he went and who he went out with. Many many things I don't know. Then, he will go out after quarreling and not come home, sometimes for 2 days. When I tried calling him, he won't ans my calls. Msg him also no replies. This is during my 3rd pregnancy.
After my maternity leaves, I went back to work. A few days after I started work, he left me a msg saying that he needs to go overseas to help his friend settle his business issue. After that, I couldn't contact him at all. Phone is either off or diverted to voicemail. Msg no replies.
He disappeared for 2 weeks and I became worried. So I tried to find out his friends contact number and called everyone. 1 of them told me that he actually seeing a china woman that he know from nightclub. So I went to search his laptop and found msg from QQ that the girl left him n his replies. Then I search his lockers and found out a TT slip made to china of $3k. And also his credit cards bills stating that he went hotels! (At this point, we are already very broke and owing a lot of money.) So I went to make police report saying that he is missing and owing much more money than before. Then I made my way to the ICA. I found out that he went china but was already back in spore but didn't contact me nor can be contacted. I really go crazy! I nv expect this to happen. I couldn't eat, couldn't slp, keep trying to find out his whereabouts. I msg him telling him nasty things such as divorce, commit suicide and also nice things to make him come back but all doesn't work.
1 month after he left, he suddenly left me a SMS saying that he misses me and the kids. So I asked to meet up with him. He told me he was sorry and he did that Becos he can't stand me and we are always quarreling. But that woman is always very concern for him and dun restrict him. I told him I can forgive him for the sake of the kids but dun expect me to forget. If he decided that he still want this marriage, then he needs to regain trust.
2 weeks after he came back, he was supposed to go reservice but he managed to get mc. Then 1 day, a unknown number called him and I pick it up cos he was sleeping. The china woman called. I asked her why she look for my hb. She ans, no lah, din see him for a few days si wondering how is he. I blur. He came home 2 weeks, everyday send me to work and pick me up from work, nv go out at night. She told ne a few days nv see??? So I questioned her. She say, no ah, we met up everyday!!! I couldn't stand it and woke him up and started quarreling again. He left without giving me any explanation again and couldn't be contacted again.
On the same day, he came home with his mum to pack his stuff saying that going his mum hse to stay. After that, on off on off I still able to contact him. He told me that he is considering things and will get back to me when he made a decision.
1 month later, he returned home again. So I thought he still cares for this family after all. I hope to start over with him. I din mention anything abt that china woman anymore cos I also dun dare.
This 1 year plus after his return, everything was fine. We still in huge debts. So I agreed to sell our flat. (Next week is our first hdb appointment.) We also tried to ballot for SBF but it was unsuccessful. Once in a while, he still go out and will not let me know where or who but his timing to come home is usually 1-2am. Same as before, I won't be able to contact him during his going out timing, ESP if he go drink with clients or friends. He will tell me he go drink but I will not know who or where.
Just recently, last sat morning, he suddenly say he wanna go 3rd world country to find business opportunity. I asked him where and he said Cambodia. I told him it's too dangerous there and suggested that he go ho chi Minh. So immediately, he packed his luggage and I sent him to the airport to buy his air ticket.
Of cos, I did ask him not to go since everything was so unsure and not planned. But he insisted and say good words to me like please, just wish me good luck, pls dun spoil. I seriously do not wanna him to blame me in future, so I let him go. Although I was furious and also worried. The last msg from him was I love you, pks take good care and wish me good luck. Since then, I can't contact him till now. He also didn't contact me. At first I was worried. But later, I find it very weird. Everything was like same as before. Suddenly left and can't be contacted.
I went to hear his voicemail and found out that on the day he left, ard the same timing, a Vietnam number left a voicemail but didn't say anything. I really go crazy! I call the number but no ans, I msg no reply. At night I try again but the Hp is either off or the person has throw away the sim card. All these are too coincident and I cannot find any excuses for him. I really dunno what to do. What do u all think?
Can somebody pls tell me what shld I do?
I am 30 years old, married for 7 years with 3 kids. My hb is 29 years old, handsome and tall. Unlike me, I have put on a lot of weight after giving birth and totally dun take care of my looks anymore.
He is an insurance agent and currently I'm not working due to many stress in our marriage. My kids are 6, 4 and 2 years old.
I am sorry if I'm too long winded, I will try to cut short.
I know my hb for 1-2 years before getting married as I was pregnant. Before finding out my pregnancy, he actually suddenly disappear. When I found him, he ignored me and had a woman with him. As I didn't know I'm pregnant then, I tried to commit suicide for him and was hospitalized. After knowing that I'm pregnant, he came back to me saying that he will take responsibility and explained that the woman is just a friend that he made used to make me angry. So we got married.
During first year of marriage, he took good care of me and spent time with me often. After he joined insurance, everything changed. He started to go out till late at night. When asked, he said he meeting clients, friends. But still, he will take me out meet his friends once a while.
Second year past by very fast, everything was well. Then, I'm pregnant with my second baby. Due to my unstable pregnancy, I have to give up my job and problems all araised. We started to have financial problems and owe credit cards money. But still, our relationship was strong. He still brings me out and cares for me.
Into the 4th year, I got pregnant again but I held a job then. Suddenly, my hb changed into another person. He came home very late at night, 4-5am, or sometimes don't even come home at all. When asked, he finds me very irritating. We started to have big quarrels. After quarreling, I still will not know where he went and who he went out with. Many many things I don't know. Then, he will go out after quarreling and not come home, sometimes for 2 days. When I tried calling him, he won't ans my calls. Msg him also no replies. This is during my 3rd pregnancy.
After my maternity leaves, I went back to work. A few days after I started work, he left me a msg saying that he needs to go overseas to help his friend settle his business issue. After that, I couldn't contact him at all. Phone is either off or diverted to voicemail. Msg no replies.
He disappeared for 2 weeks and I became worried. So I tried to find out his friends contact number and called everyone. 1 of them told me that he actually seeing a china woman that he know from nightclub. So I went to search his laptop and found msg from QQ that the girl left him n his replies. Then I search his lockers and found out a TT slip made to china of $3k. And also his credit cards bills stating that he went hotels! (At this point, we are already very broke and owing a lot of money.) So I went to make police report saying that he is missing and owing much more money than before. Then I made my way to the ICA. I found out that he went china but was already back in spore but didn't contact me nor can be contacted. I really go crazy! I nv expect this to happen. I couldn't eat, couldn't slp, keep trying to find out his whereabouts. I msg him telling him nasty things such as divorce, commit suicide and also nice things to make him come back but all doesn't work.
1 month after he left, he suddenly left me a SMS saying that he misses me and the kids. So I asked to meet up with him. He told me he was sorry and he did that Becos he can't stand me and we are always quarreling. But that woman is always very concern for him and dun restrict him. I told him I can forgive him for the sake of the kids but dun expect me to forget. If he decided that he still want this marriage, then he needs to regain trust.
2 weeks after he came back, he was supposed to go reservice but he managed to get mc. Then 1 day, a unknown number called him and I pick it up cos he was sleeping. The china woman called. I asked her why she look for my hb. She ans, no lah, din see him for a few days si wondering how is he. I blur. He came home 2 weeks, everyday send me to work and pick me up from work, nv go out at night. She told ne a few days nv see??? So I questioned her. She say, no ah, we met up everyday!!! I couldn't stand it and woke him up and started quarreling again. He left without giving me any explanation again and couldn't be contacted again.
On the same day, he came home with his mum to pack his stuff saying that going his mum hse to stay. After that, on off on off I still able to contact him. He told me that he is considering things and will get back to me when he made a decision.
1 month later, he returned home again. So I thought he still cares for this family after all. I hope to start over with him. I din mention anything abt that china woman anymore cos I also dun dare.
This 1 year plus after his return, everything was fine. We still in huge debts. So I agreed to sell our flat. (Next week is our first hdb appointment.) We also tried to ballot for SBF but it was unsuccessful. Once in a while, he still go out and will not let me know where or who but his timing to come home is usually 1-2am. Same as before, I won't be able to contact him during his going out timing, ESP if he go drink with clients or friends. He will tell me he go drink but I will not know who or where.
Just recently, last sat morning, he suddenly say he wanna go 3rd world country to find business opportunity. I asked him where and he said Cambodia. I told him it's too dangerous there and suggested that he go ho chi Minh. So immediately, he packed his luggage and I sent him to the airport to buy his air ticket.
Of cos, I did ask him not to go since everything was so unsure and not planned. But he insisted and say good words to me like please, just wish me good luck, pls dun spoil. I seriously do not wanna him to blame me in future, so I let him go. Although I was furious and also worried. The last msg from him was I love you, pks take good care and wish me good luck. Since then, I can't contact him till now. He also didn't contact me. At first I was worried. But later, I find it very weird. Everything was like same as before. Suddenly left and can't be contacted.
I went to hear his voicemail and found out that on the day he left, ard the same timing, a Vietnam number left a voicemail but didn't say anything. I really go crazy! I call the number but no ans, I msg no reply. At night I try again but the Hp is either off or the person has throw away the sim card. All these are too coincident and I cannot find any excuses for him. I really dunno what to do. What do u all think?
Can somebody pls tell me what shld I do?
