Divorce? Really?

I think I can feel for you. Once the feelings are gone, it's gone. Selfish as it may sound, you gotta keep yourself happy, whatever decision this may lead to. I always believe that only when the parents are happy, can the kids be happy too.

Stay separated isn't that bad either, esp if it keeps both parties sane and happy. Life's too short to brood over
 


troubledguy,

no offence - just a personal opinion, so be open-minded ok?

I read thro your thread and i am very shocked that despite so many problems, you still allowed her to get pregnant for the 2nd time and yet, you are thinking of divorce! i know we all have our needs, but there is such a thing called contraception! Children are not toys in a marriage.

For all forummers who are having marital problems, please please please... do not think of having a baby just to save the marriage or to please anyone.. having children is a life-time commitment and responsibility, and not a matter of convenience.

Troubledguy - i can sense a lot of accummulated frustrations and grievances in you. please let go, else you will have to carry this burden with you wherever you go / whatever you do. Life is never fair, but it is up to us to decide how we want to live our lives from today onwards. You mentioned giving up on career opportunities earlier; why don't you seize whatever opportunities that come your way now, instead of looking back?

Your wife needs professional help, on top of counselling. She seems to be in some form of depression, from the stuff that you wrote. Do yourself and your children a favour - call her gynae and share with her. If she is already behaving this way before giving birth, it will be a nightmare once she gives birth.

If finances allow, please consider getting a live-in domestic worker and encourage your wife to re join the corporate working life.

Good Luck.
 
Blurr

There is a great distinction between ladies and guys. How do guys use contraception without the lady noticing. The male pill has been "in-development" status for at least ten years now. Well, without this getting R(A), let's just say that surreptitious methods do not work very well.

A short trial with domestic worker did not work out at all and it is not because of financial reasons.

Well, then it seems that she was in depression from the very beginning of the relationship. Based on kkf comments, it can be seen that different people have different ways of expressing their emotions.

As a side topic, for those of you who are into western horoscopes, it should be quite obvious.
 
Troubledguy,

You can google for contraception for men.

I always say this to my friends

@ People misbehaves because you allow them to do so @

We indulge in our partners thinking that it is the "right" way to do so, only to be faced with the shit finally hitting the fan situation.

Believe it or not, all of us have depression symptoms, just a matter whether we are able to manage it or succumb to it.

I hope you seek help for your wife quickly, she is still the mother of your children. I have seen prenatal and postnatal depression and trust me, no one wants to ever live to see and experience it.
 
Blurr

I do not quite believe that one can live with depression for more than 6 years and nobody else other than one's spouse discovered something wrong about it.

You are just tempting me to state the obvious. I shall rise to the bait then.

There are 5 main methods for males in order of effectiveness.

1. Vasectomy
2. Abstinence
3. Condoms
4. Withdrawal
5. Rhythm

2 and 3 cannot be hidden from the partner. Doing 1 without the consent of the spouse would be impolite. 4 and 5 cannot be utilized fully as it would be noticed. The best compromise position would be to use a modified variant of 4 and 5.

The question would be

@Why not just inform the spouse about your intentions?@

A reading from the Women's Charter reveals that children conceived to then legally wedded partners would need to be maintained notwithstanding if the children are legitimate or illegitimate.

I indulge my spouse as I have a deep seated belief to maintain the marriage at all costs. I discovered then that my willpower is not as strong to encompass the term "at all costs".
 
Hi Susanna,

Well, on a scale of 1 to 10, I have moved from 3 from the start of this thread to 6, which is a great improvement. I have begun to push back slightly. Methinks she will still leave eventually.
 
hi there! my two cents worth - i think it is fairly apparent that both you and your wife harbour resentment against each other, and it might be so deep set already that both of you think its too late to give it another try.

i won't say it will be easy, but i think for the sake of the kids, for the sake of the good times you guys once had, for the sake of the future, you may wish to consider seeking professional help to mend the marriage.

i read this book from the venus and mars series - venus and mars together forever, and i think some of the stuff they say is quite useful. like the fundamental difference between men and women. women don't understand that men need to be left alone, just like men don't understand that women actually feel better after complaining to them about their feelings. my point is - there is probably some real truth in how terrible ur wife treats you, but there is probably also some misunderstanding.
 
Maybe it's good too to take a step back n re-evaluate the whole issue n to leave some breathing space for each other.

Take care
happy.gif
 
Blueswimmercrab

Oh please. I finished going through my copy more than ten years ago. I am a voracious reader. I have went through quite a few relationship self help books. Where do you think terms like emotional bank account comes from? 27/06/2012 12.14pm Maybe I will dust off my copy and reread again.

I have shared with her what are some of the things that will aid the relationship and went through overtures to promote closeness. 26/06/2012 5.15pm It was a slap in the face to be told that I am being immature to ask for things that multiple books had advised. If the professionals quote from the very same books, she will just shutdown and refuse to listen.

冰封三尺非一夜之韩

In recent years, I am more affected by Keirsey's work. I understand that I am not an easy spouse to be with and that my type is rare enough that most people do not understand when trying to discuss our marital problems with others.

I am very fortunate to be demanding the top 2 levels from Maslow's hierarchy. But because of that, I feel very unfulfilled.

Susanna

Sorry, narcissism creeping back in again.
 
Have you ever considered that your wife's emotional bank has already been overdrawn in a long while ago? That's why she snaps easily? That was my first thought when i read your 1st post.
I actually downloaded the chapter on my iphone and let my husband hear it. And then told him i am overdrawn, i need him to play nice and place deposits else it will be living hell for him AND me. I'm sure your wife does not like herself like that, its just a form of release. Who likes being the angry one throwing temper? It does takes energy and zaps one's emotions. Naturally, Nobody wants to be the bad guy, come'on.

Not a lot of people read widely really, just not a lot of people have interest there. Reading, going to plays, concerts... You find one like you great, you don't find one, move on in life. You can find friends who share such interests.

You seem like the guy who enjoys work, the type whereby your eye gleam when problems comes up and solves it. Well treat this like a problem at work.
Who said being an effective individual only applies at work? I think a lot of people neglect putting that skill/effort at home.
Job you can change, wife you can also change, kids ... Well lastI checked no lemon law in place for that.
If spending is an issue, why not set up a fixed Deposit type account (joint) and have a fixed amount to go in there for kids'education/future holiday trip? Set a target for both of you to work towards the same financial goal. With a target in place, she can work towards it as well.
Its all about motivating the "team" right? You have great soft skills at work, do use it at work! Don't waste your "talent". Jia You!
 
On resentment, nonchalance and the little things in life.

Actual conversation

Wife: Aye, I lost my wedding band.
Husband: Oh, so you lost your wedding band.

As mentioned previously, I believed in the sanctity of marriage. What led to the above conversation was this.

She stopped wearing her band a few months into the marriage, for various reasons. I deplored her not to do that. After a few years, when the reasons became unconvincing. She started wearing it and promptly lost it in less than 2 months.

Whereas, the band has stayed on my finger other than those times it is prohibited, such as when I needed to stick my hands into fast moving machinery. Even then, I kept mine on a chain close to my heart.
 
On flowers and gifting

Many wives lament that the flowers stop after marriage. Have you actually wondered why? Could it be that the reciprocal acknowledgement has decreased in intensity. Do you remember the hugs and kisses that you gave when receiving the first few bouquets? And the rather cool thank you on the last few bouquets.

To maintain the heightened intensities.
Guys go through the numbers
1,3,6,9,12,24,99,999
I do not think that you would want anything more than 999
And colors
White, yellow, pink, red and maybe even black (for tulip)
And even types
First gerberas, then roses, followed by tulips

I had even gone to the extent of growing flowers. Which is quite interesting, the state of the plant would reflect effort. When it is lush and green, it means that there is enough time to water it and the relationship. When it blooms, it means even more time as it needs to be fertilized and trimmed before blooming.

Sad to say, I no longer grow flowers or even choose which type. When there is no understanding of the hidden language, there is no point. Just point to a random bouquet of decent size, wrap it up and go.
 
a husband like you is very rare... i think you are the only one i know who can tolerate a wife like that.

I believe that relationship is give and take. Of course, I want to make my husband happy by praising hi, telling him how good he is... but I also want him to do the same to me.
 
After reading all these, i would like to share my story too. I am a mother of three, 3yo, 2yo and 10 month old baby. Have been married for 6 years, but things really gotten so bad recently.

Troubleguy, you are a nice guy, how i wish my husband is like you. I am very disappointed with him.

He has left the house since 8 June 2012 when my elder boy had high fever(39.2). He was working night shift(start work at 6pm), the school called to inform him about the fever, he ignored and continue to sleep and left for work. When i discovered the missed calls, I rushed to school and brought him to see doctor. My elder son has chronic illness, if he fall sick, his blood count will dip to very low level. Subsequenly my girl and my baby also felt sick. I looked after three of them till i felt sick. That was one point that i got to change bedsheed almost every night, sometimes two times at night as my baby vomited each time he coughed. From that day onwards till today, he has never returned nor call nor sms to check on the children.

We had unhappiness frequently, everytime he choosed to run away from home and rejected all the calls. I said unhappiness because there was no argument, he simply refused to talk. I suggested marriage counsellor, he rejected too. This time round, as it concern children health and safety, i really cannot take it anymore. I broke down, had sleepless nights and slimmed down to only 47kg (my height is 168cm. I could not understand how he can be so heartless, really care nothing about his own kids. I was so upset that i brought all the kids back to malaysia without informing him and his family, and they really DON'T CARE.

Last time, when he wanted to leave the house, i will beg him, hug him not to leave, not only that he would not listen, he grabbed my arm and dragged me. In the end, bruises appeared on my arm and there was big bump on my head too. He did not feel sorry and can still make up a story for me in case people asked about the bruises. I wore long sleeves to work for three full weeks.

I wanted to divorce this time as i think he is beyond hope and it is really not healthy for my kids to grow up in such environment. This was not the first time he left home, i have lost count already. Because of his egoistic, family outing, holiday and photo shooting program were all burnt.
 
Two months ago, we supposed to bring his mother to Desaru with us, last minute, he had his stupid temper then he decided not to go. I alone brought three kids, two maids and his mother there. I did not want to disappoint my son as he has been waiting and count down for this trip. In the end, my son had a fall and it was quite serious. His right eye was swollen and lots of scratches on his face, my girl also felt from the bed at night. He and his brother rushed to Desaru the next day. However he refused to sleep in the room at night and rather risk the girl from falling down the bed again, i told him to go in, he walked out the room and stayed at the beach the whole night. The next morning, he decided to take the first boat back to Singapore but he took the car key with him. Brother in law called, he took a taxi back to the hotel returning the car key and went back to jetty to take the next boat. Could you see how stubborn his guy is. I have been tolerated for so many years and he really don't care about his family when his temper comes.

Tell me, should i leave this guy? Till today, he has never wanted to talk, i have called him, sms him but all no response. On 15 July, i sent all my kids away and asked him back to discuss our problem. He has no intention to talk at all, but he did mention he does not want any of the children, he does not even want to fight for access right. He wants the house back 100%, he is not thinking to give a shelter for the kids, he said "you bring the children back to Malaysia lo" I have recorded this conversation.

My concern now is most of the housing expenses is giro from his account, if divorce, finacially i will have problem. I do not wish to affect my kids the most. The elder two are in child care now, the baby is looking after by maid. From the years that i know him, I doubt if he will take any action if i don't take. Shall i go on like this, my children are with me in the matrimonial house and he stays with his mother. Shall i wait for another three four years then file for divorce? Though i am more tire but i am much happier.
 
Weiyao, I'm simply amazed that you tolerated your husband's unreasonable behaviour and had 3 children with him over the 6 years! It's quite obvious that your husband only cares for himself, and doesn't treasure his wife and children at all. If I were you, I would have divorced him years ago before there were any kids!

Women in Singapore are protected by the Women's Charter so after the divorce, he has to pay you monthly alimony and maintenance for the respective children. Matrimonial assets will be divided too, as long as you can prove you have contributed to the family (need not be financially). However, that being said, I have seen cases whereby even after the court ruling, the wives end up not getting a single cent every month, coz the heartless husbands either go MIA or refuse to pay anything and challenge the wives to go report them to the authority to bring them to jail. Based on what you've described so far, I think your husband is likely to fall into such category of irresponsible men. If so, then you have to be prepared to get minimal/zero financial help from him after divorce. Do your math and see if you are able to cope with all the expenses after divorce (assume no $$ from him). If you are able to, pls divorce him immediately. If you are really not able to cope financially, try seeking help from others e.g. family members, financial aid.
 
My situation is somewhat like troubledguy’s and weiyao’s although at present it seems not to the stage of divorce. But nevertheless, I am in pain and agony especially now that I am 2 months pregnant with my 1st child.

The pain rooted from 2 years back when I found out through his smses that my husband was seeing a female colleague (from another division) and often asked her out for suppers after work. He denied having an affair and said was purely a friend whom he could talked to esp. during that stressful work period. I agreed to take it as that and move on. As we had problems conceiving, I went through ivf procedures during these 2 years and am now blessed with a baby.

Recently during my pregnancy, I found out he had been having lunches and dinners with a female colleague (again from another division) and will give excuse of having meetings after work thus unable to come home early. He even went to a nightclub. All these I found out through receipts he kept in his wallet. After much probing, he admitted he indeed had meals with a female colleague several times and kept it from me because I am sensitive. He said he only went to the nightclub once and that was to meet an online gaming guy friend. Again, denied no affairs of course. I was devastated and cried for a few days. But for the sake of baby, I had to move on.

Yesterday, he tested my patience again. He came home late past mid-night and smelled of cigarettes smoke (he is not a smoker). Upon asking, he said he went for a drink at a kopitiam with a male work contact after his work. In fact, at around 10pm, I experienced some bad abdominal cramps and smsed him abt it. He did not respond and I proceeded to call him few times but his phone was off. I questioned him if he saw my sms and demanded that he check his phone to see if there was the sms. Reluctantly, he took out his phone and said it was off mode. I demanded he turn on his iphone to check. And when he turned on, there was no sms notification and even my sms thread to him was not to be found. The battery level was 49% so it was clear that it was not a low batt situation. His explanation? He off his phone and deleted that my sms coz he was very stressed and wanted to have some peace. I asked him what if emergency and I needed him…and his reply was he cannot attend to all my discomforts and he needed his own space. He said he has no life after work and everyday he felt bored if he came home early. He wanted to de-stress. But that doesn’t mean to off his phone and ignore my sms? Is he the least concerned abt me and the baby? He can only apologize but this is not the first time he off his phone when I tried to call him.

Am feeling very vexed. Am I asking too much of him? I agree that most of these days we cooped at home after work coz of my nausea and discomforts. He is free to have his space for after work activities with his friends but why must he turn off his phone?
 
bewilderedgal,

You are not asking too much, yr hubby shld care for you. You shld be his top priority now, as you are pregnant. He is just plain selfish and cannot handle increasing needs from a wife who is pregnant. Women need a lot of emotional support from husbands, but most of them can't handle it and give the excuses that they need their own space.

If they treasure their own space so much, then don't get married at all. A marriage needs commitments and a couple goes through thick and thin together. Without that, there is no bond. It'll only create resentment in the wife in the long run.
 
I realised that most straying hubb's patterns are the same..off phone/ don't pick up calls/ come home when all fall aslp..etc..amazing..

I can't wait for my div to finalized..after a series of affairs n a very bad breakup with his prev one, he have a new target now..

Really feel like puking when he act like a 'good' father in front of the kids...*sigh*

every day i pray to god to let me have the strength n wisdom to ignore his doings!
sad.gif
 
I shall go against the grain and give meaningful feedback.

Weiyao

Based on your description, your husband seems to be a self-employed person. So garnishee proceedings may not really work for you. And I do not think that you would be hard-hearted enough to attempt bankruptcy proceedings, though that is a highly effective way of ensuring that the financial needs of your children are looked after.

Thalassemia is not easy to cope with, most people would wrongfully assume it is the woman's fault for having such children when it is on both family trees.

Bewildered gal

At a minimum, he is having an emotional affair.
 
Hi Meowie,

Planned for two kids only, no 3 was accident. The relationship was still ok before we have any kids, guess he is not ready to be a father yet. Financially, I will have problem, that's the main reason I stay on this marriage. Maybe separation first, at least there is still a house for us, unless he really take action which i doubt he will. The other option is to bring the kids to malaysia with me. Other than financial problem, i also need some help in childcare.

Hi Toubleguy,
He is not self employed. He is only an employee. My boy's sickness is called ITP (idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura). It is the condition of having an abnormally low platelet count of unknown cause. His bruises are very obvious all over his body and when he bleed, extra care must be taken as it may have difficulties clotting. He just had four series of nose bleeding last night. Could fill up a glass. Scary, right? Mummy was panic but learnt to stay strong for the kids. My boy has so far stayed in KKH three times, none of it, the father accompanied him. I stayed with him every time, first when i was pregnant and last when i was doing my confinement. Judging from all these, i should notice earlier that he is not a kids lover nor a responsible father.
 
weiyao...after having two kids, my ex to be hubb told me that he is not suited to be a family man....too much right?

I admire your strength to have to go through all your kids issues on your own....

we were too blinded by love back then I guess...now that things has come to this stage, i wish you the courage to make the best decision for you and your kids....

I am counting down to my divorce day!
 
Hi Weiyao,
My heart go to you after hearing how ur hubby had treated u.

I had a boy of 5 years old. I filed my divorced when he was 3.5 years old. My case go about similar to you. Things go bad after we had a child. For the past 4 years, he never spend a single night with the son, depsite sick, high fever. Never fed him medicine as well. All he care was himself.

Even I was sick, i also have to take care of my boy despite i will spread the virus to my boy. During the time, my boy have HFMD, he was a scare cat, didnt even visit for fear he wll get the virus. Then how about my mum who was the main caretaker and me ? We are not human, he is only human mah ?

Really too blinded by love at that time and i have given him more lots of chances over the year until I cant take it lao. I asked for divorce and he said OK without asking to see marriage consellor or anything. Then fine loh.. I filed for divorce. To be a more jerk, he even want me to pay for the lawyers fee of $2800 cos he said I WANT TO DIVORCE wan...
 
hi jenn, i feel u .when ur that guy mention u pay for lawywes fee lor since u are the one who wan to divoice.

it also happen to me. guy will not move a step. they just wait for the woman to move den end up say this comment. u pay lor since u the one who sound it first .

not only this. even my chinese wedding dinner . im the one who pay all for it.
 
Hi HuiHui
Sad to hear that you are in the same shoes for me. And yes he want me to pay for the laywer fee since I sound it first.

He took all the TV, computer, and IT gadgets back to his mum's house which we used to pay half half.. and i got nothing home.

From that home, i only moved back my jewellery, clothings and my child's toys & clothings.. tt is all i took. All packed in 3 luggages in one move.
 
Hi jenn.

do know how u feel.
ur is pay half half. my more worst ,. i purchase a tv for our home which i haven even open up use all that . he just go sell it off to just for the sack of his expenser ,( cos he that time is a dame deep gamble. one receive pay can finish lost all. even smoke or even transport $$ all dun have. any thing he have he go sell. or he will go praw his wedding ring his mum give him gold ring too . i wonder if my baby ( infant ) is with him will he sell the baby off. just to cover his daily need.

i really find that some guy really dun care their family. even their child. they like no heart. unable to take up responsibity at all. i feel now we woman some time even can do better den guy .
 
Dear all,

I think I'm a rare case here, I'm a father facing divorce now.

My kids are 3 & 6 years old, both boys. They stayed at my parent's place during weekdays and I will bring them back on Friday night, due to our working hours.

My wife wanted a divorce cos she has no more feeling with me. There's no third party involved. I always go right home after work and do help out with some of the houseworks. I neither drink nor smoke. Only thing is, I spend most time on the PC while the kids are not around.

The boys are more close to me as I have become the main caretaker during the weekends along the way.

For the household, I'm the main contributor. My wife only pay for the PUB bills and insurance and school fee of my younger son.

The house is mainly paid by me too as my wife is a PR from Malaysia without much CPF.

Currently my wife wants the custody of my younger son and the house. I tried to get her to attend marriage counseling but she is very persistence to it. Basically, she leaves no room for discussion.

If I'm to fight with her for the custody of kids and house, what's my chance of winning?

I'm feeling very sad now. I felt like being thrown out of the house/family. Is that any law that can help guys like me?
 
Your wife would most probably get half the matrimonial home. Regarding custody, since your parents are taking care of them. There may be a chance to retain status quo. The onus is on you to prove the fact. Statements from your neighbours and your parents' neighbours would really help.

Note: The above advice do not have any legal bearing, please do consult a lawyer for professional advice regarding your case.
 
Hi all,

Hope to get some advice from you. My good pal and her husband have been in bad shape for sometime. For the past few months, each time they quarreled,her husband will initiate divorce. until my friend is seriously thinking of divorcing. She is tired of all the quarrels. Each time they quarreled, her husband will abuse her verbally.

they have a 4-room HDB flat fully paid up and 2 kids( 6 and 7 years old). She wants custody of the kids and she is ok they meet their father once a week.

Can she request to keep the flat and ask for alimony and maintenance fee for the kids?

She is FTWM. After divorce, she will have to continue to hire maid to take care of the kids when she is at work. She can't stay with her mother as there is no room for her and her kids.

Her husband is agreeable to engage a lawyer but will the lawyer draft maintenance fee to her husband's advantage? her husband is not rich. she just hope her husband can cntribute his part for the children. She is worry her single income cannot support the 2 kids. She doesn't want to lose any kid to the father.
 
If the husband is agreeable, why don't they agree upon the sum first before getting the lawyer to draft the agreement.

Asking the lawyer for advice is an extremely expensive option when they charge by the hour.
 
So envious of your wife. She really does not cherish you. My hubby on the contrast does not even care. We had drifted apart since my eldest girl was born. The relationship has been v bad with frequent nit picking and quarrels, always over the same issues and many trivial issues. We are not even talking much, the issues just got swept under the carpet out of sight out of mind until they come up repeatedly and the cycle is getting shorter and shorter. He had given commitment that he is ready but in fact he wasn't. He now just cared about his own personal time. I've prob getting his understanding & support. I had proposed to go for marriage counseling. He refuse to get counseling, so what can I do?
We both are exhausted after work, no energy for household chores, already only doing the very bare minimum. Had also proposed to get a maid but he also won't hear of it. The prob is he is unhappy with others doing the work and criticizes this not clean that not done properly.
Had tried being nice to him, but it also does not work, he just does not appreciate and still say I'm ungrateful. The part I hate most is he likes to criticize, blame or say nasty things of me in front of our kid despite telling him many times not to do that.

I'm contemplating divorce, since this is really getting nowhere and I'm v v tired already. He does not seem bother to try salvage the relationship.
 
Hi,
i think you should engage a marriage counsellor and see if things can work out further . If it doesnt , at least you have tried your very best.
 
Hi troubled Ger/troubled guy,
I'm in the similar situation with u all and I feel so weak and unfair. I have been married for 5 years And has never feel loved,cherished the day we got married. I hope my love will touch him and hoping that with our babies coming along, he will change to a better one. But things just going the opposite way as I hope. He told me he wanted a divorce as he Cannot stand me and my family.
 
I'm being emotionly abused for a prolonged period, he is a very impatient, hot tempted and smart guy. I'm just a simple woman and I know he will get what he wants. No matter how much I try to give in endure, he will just raise voice at me when things is not to his liking. We are staying with my parents and when he think we are at fault he will even raised voice to my parents when they try to protect me.he is not afraid of anyone, even in front of kids he can turn mad not thinking for the kids.even his mum say he cannot be control when he is angry and he Always think he is right. He told me he only care for kids and for the seek of spending time with them he want to divorce me so that there is a law order that he can spend time with them. He is always, impatient and I'm so scare that if kids is with him and just a little thing trigger him he will yell or harm the kids. He said me and my family is blocking him to bond with the kids and he felt threatened and he hate us so much that he want to leave the house and do not want to leave us. My parent is educated highflyers and help me slot with the Kids.They told me not to marry this guy when I told them we want to get married. I regret so much and hate myself for making such mistake. Even I hate him but I hope he can change, dreaming he could. I'm so worry for my kids what if They being raised in a single family. I cried so much but he just hack care. What should I do
 
U all cannot imagine the things I have done for him .... still this is what I get an angry man when I just say or do anything not please in his eyes..
 
Hi,I'm facing the same issue. My husband wanted a divorce and he said he will send me the paper to sign. I know he no longer. Can stand me and my family in his view. To everyone he is a impatient hot temper man and will get trigger when things dun go the way he wants. I have been emotionally toutured since the day we got married. I tot marriage will change him and becoming father will change him but thing gotwworse.we cannot communcated at all we are so different that I know we will suffer if he dun change. I changed slot for him but he just not satisfied with everything I do. We have 2 kids. I regret so much marrying this guy. I'm angry at myself for not listening to those that ask me think twice marrying him,tthis include my very kind hearted mother in law. I'm so lost that with the kids should I put down myself to continue endure so that the kids can have a complete family or to be selfish and just leave....
 
Hey MI.. I've always felt that even if you are staying in the marriage, unless you are damn good actor, your kids will feel it too.. So why put them in a family of tension

I've just gotten my interim divorce and waiting for ancillary matters to settle.. Can't be happier..

Not sure what future lies for myself and the kids.. Ie whether they are actually better off w the divorce but at least for now it seems so

Stay sane.. And really wish for the best for you and the kids =)
 
Hi SIngleton , maybe you are right but i always do not have the courage to take the first step , to be honest i know i will happier if i step out of this marriage. How old are your kids?
 
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