Christian ivf mums or mums to be

thanks vanilla for sharing- i been an aunty for 6 years already... for first 2 years with my son i become jaundiced... dun laugh...i stopped bf 5 yrs ago but due to laziness, i am still wearing nursing bra- look how aunty i can be ...

i took out my maternity clothes which is cake load of dust n realised that it is out of fashion those tie string ones n make u look really fat ones... n decided to ask friends for their recent ones..

i dunno how husb cope but i really no mood cos nauseaous n with the medicine insert there i also dunno can do or not..also too shy to ask dr.. but i read bks n they say that wife should fulfil husb needs ....but i guess my need to rest is higher than any other needs now.. i really pray he understand...

you right about husband- that y i went back to work...to my husb chores are not work n that staying at home is a luxury .. so i rather work but i realise that the toughest n more stressful person are usually working mums- have to take care of the family and kids... my husb can sleep thru even with my son screaming his lungs out... n in the past he will even move out of the room to get his beauty sleep but i cant n ended up i have to rock that boy to sleep n ended up like awalking panda in the day
 


hi trustinghim - i think even after 1st trimester u also have to abstain cos urs are twins...maybe just cuddle up with hb?

Maybe i also want to do alot of things myself -- like the nite duty cos i know how to handle elisha..i worry my Hb will make him wake up and then Elisha's w eyes big big gets carried to me --"dar how to make him sleep!"...and i will need to spend 30mins coaxing Elisha to sleep...last nite hb lets me sleep in he took care of bb... i still wake up 3.30am cos breast engorge and went to pump..after pumping wanted to sleep in my room (bb is at studyroom with hb sleepiong) but then i thot never mind lah, let hb sleep..so i swap places and took care of bb till i need to get ready to work.

Initially after birth of elisha with hormones funny, i very sayang my hb, not sayang elisha.....now i angry w him so dun want to sayang him...

i was telling mricky - during 2 days when mil is in korea, i wake up 530am feed elisha and did not go back to sleep - instd i pump milk, boil water (to ensure hb got water to drink), do 2 loads of laundry, pack, bathe and then carry sleeping Elisha to my dad's car while my hb still sleeping..i am not complaining, i wanted to let him sleep in, but he is like not appreciative i do all these things for him.
 
TRUSTINGHIM, u can check wit gynae whether advisable to get intimate. i tk during my 1st preg, gynae said ok (of course no special stunts :)

food wise, can also check with gynae. eat in moderation shd be ok.


having babies do take a toll on our mental and physical health. it wd be common for mums like us to contribute more to the kid. just bear with it. after 1 yr + shd be better. for me, i was fortunate cos my girl was easy to manage (well-trained after staying in hospital for 2 months for being premature).

so gals, don give up. today on leave. maid came last night. so today must jaga her and teach her how to do the housework (our way).
 
hi Mricky - thanks!

Elisha yesterday do major cry the whole nite. When drink milk at midnite, reguritate everything out. Not sure why he is so grumpy at nite...can cry until roll over to his tummy, his hands stretch out and cry (eyes still closed). MIL say he played too much...so tonite i am cancelling his entertainment after 7pm...

Hitrustinghim - I had v strong craving when i had elisha - once in the morn i wanted to eat pancakes - blueberry type..i walked round the whole tanjong pagar looking for it...i called my boss and told him i am late cos i really had to eat pancakes. I also love beef (which makes my colleague confirm i had a boy)...i ate it like 3 meals a day....i even dreamed of beef steaks....i put on 15-18kg during pregnancy - now dun dare weigh myself..
 
Trusting him, to give u piece of mind, u might want to wait till the 1st trimester is over,after that can intimate all the way till delivery... :)

Vanilla, I think Elisha is just playful - best not to over stimulate him in the evenings..

I am trying to catch up on my sleep.. zzz
 
hi sisters - thanks.

Last nite we ignore him after 7pm...he self entertain...lie on bed, kick hands kick legs, laugh to himself..biting sophie...in the end papa read stories to him...he is ok, still cried, but not as bad as 2 nites back..today will do same trick....
 
Hi Ladies

Want to share some abbey foto shots recebtly... took at a studio.

Will be bringing her for a holiday tomorrow with the rest of my extended family as it is my grandpa 80th BD.

Pray for our well being, i am worried abt abbey falling sick ...
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your Minnie is sooo sweet!!! i hope to have a gal too.. i will be delivering in sgh but hope it willbe a better experience cos i really dunno how to breast feed n the nurses were sooo bz that time.

actually to be honest i am too sick to even think of intimate.. i need to eat sour plum more than anything..but u know men n their needs. but i will pray husb can control till they are out n i am rested..

vanilla- u are really very hardworking.. i think i need 2 maids.. so praying we have the space n finance to have at least 2 maids... cos if the maids are gd i go back to work if not i stay home with at least 1 maid..
 
hi MSfamily - abbey is so cute... i love her hair..so thick and black..enjoy ur holiday with ur family and abbey...have fun...

hi trustinghim - not hardworking lah..have to do..i really dislike laundry pile up...will pray for u...for ur morning sickness to be over and for ur maid issue.


Today sunflower will be doing her scan - lets keep her in our prayers - "Dear Heavenly Father - pls protect Sunflower and her little bb, may u show ur love on them and allow Sunflower to be delighted by the flickering of a little heartbeat on the screen. In you we trust, love and obey, in Jesus name we pray AMEN".

And also lets pray for Psalm91 for her beta test tom "Dear Heavenly Father pls continue to protect Psalm as she will be doing her test tom, pls lay ur Almighty hands on her womb and allow us to rejoice to good news. In Jesus name we pray AMEN"
 
Harrows!
Vanilla dear, thanks for your prayer.
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I'm very nervous actually. Nurse told me to do a HPT tmr morning before i go to the clinic so that i can have "xin li zhun bei" abt the result.. but i scared. I dun want to. :p Tempted to do it yet scared leh.

I oredi told God it is all in His hands. I've done all I can and I just want to trust Him now and believe Him for a positive result. My mum is so sweet, she's so confident it will be a BFP that she is all ready to stay with me for another week so that she can cook for me.
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Trustinghim, it depends on the brand of brown rice. The organic type cooks faster so no need to soak. The normal brown rice that I bought from NTUC needs soaking overnight. My mum also sometimes mixes in some white rice to add some fluffiness.

MSfamily,
Your girl is so fashionably cute ..so nice, got so much hair!
 
MSFamily, yr gal super cute. great job!

TrustingHim, agree with Vanillapod. Mix with white rice 1st lah. If u start just with brown rice, u may nt be used to it. anyway, hv gd nutrients.

Vanillapod, hope yr cold war with hb will subside soon. u hv my support all the way.
 
hi trustingHim, when i was carrying my twins, my hubby din dare to come near me. Now after giving birth for 4 mths, dunno why both of us r not keen anymore. Most of the time, we were overly tired wth bbs so we would jst doze off whnever we land on the bed. Talking abt sour plum, i din crave for tt last time but my house consistently has 1 packet coz my hubby loves it. When i got preg, he got an excuse to buy more and it ended up all eaten by him.

psalm91, stay positive, I m sure God has prepared your heart. Oh if i m u, i wld be too impatient and would definitely sneak peek a HPT. :p

sunflower, how was the scan? Hv bn praying for u and bb as well. Do update us yah.

MSFamily, your girl is so cute...looking at her makes me miss my girl.

Recently my girl has very bad rashes all over her face, hands, arms, stomach and legs. Pd said it's eczema. It's bn weeks already and the steroid cream prescribed by pd din help at all. I m very sad whenever i think abt her and her discomfort. Recently very stressed coz dunno how to help her. Pls pray for my girl to recover asap.

joie, sleep whenever u can..it's something i miss hvg nowadays.

Mricky, i told my hubby things will b better whn bbs r 1 year+ and we r rly looking fwd to it.
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thanks i need to try to take nutritious food.. due to food cravings it either salty stuff like cheerios or cheese or sour plum or sweets like ribena.
i will soak the brown rice overnight n mix with white rice..

pls keep sunflower in prayer- she is very sad cos still no heartbeat yet but we are belieiving for a miracle within next 2 wks which is the crucial period.

NZ- my son had that too but purly on the face n is very very bad...so i used steriod but so worried he eats / licks them.. my pd say apply thinly so that it will be absorb ffaster.

my mil insist on using some green vege n hazeline on son...n worse she insist her auntie friends say use baby urine to put on face..sigh..that y i will not entrust son with mil... she keep listening to friends or dunno who.. even with me at home that time, i got a shock when i came out from toilte to see my son face with green(vege juice) n white ( hazeline) stuff n she refuses to let me wipe off n that really upsets me a lot.. cos i apply steriod on son already.
 
hi NZ - Sayang Dawn... i mms u a pic of the cleansing gel we bathe Elisha...Elisha had rashes on his body before (same type as craddle cap).. we apply steriod cream and his skin peeled! This cleansing gel v good...not harsh n improved his skin. Do u still swaddle Dawn at night? If yes then apply the cream at nite when she is swaddled then she would rub it and eat it...

Hi TrustingHim - Aiyoh ur MIL is so weird! I cant stand it when old pple listen to other old pple and take advice that has no common sense at all...

Yes sisters - would like to appeal all of us to pray for Sunflower n little sunflower. Pray that little sunflower will bloom and be a bb sunflower and come out to be a didi/mei mei to all the bbs here. Pls pls pray for strength and the grace of God to be with them and Daddy sunflower too....Rem the Lord hears our prayers and our collective prayers will b heard. Thank v much

Hi Mricky - thanks!

Hi sisters - update on Elisha-we went to cardiologist on Sat - good news his holes all are getting smaller...Praise the Lord...but his 2 big holes (the peri VSD and the ASD) are still v large and his band is tight so we have decided to do the surgery on 12 may.

Pls pray for God's protection on this little boy...pray that he will be ok after the surgery and no complications (esp his weak kidneys as the common complications is strain on kidneys that some bbs need dialysis) and have a speedy recovery and b fully healed by the grace of God, the blood of Jesus Christ and the love of the Holy Spirit.

Thanks sisters from me and my hb....Elisha says thank you too for all aunties kind prayers and thot.
 
Thanks sisters!

Sorry i have not been able to post since fri. My scan showed that sac has grown but still not big enough and dr cant be sure if seen a fetal pole and definitely no heartbeat. Dr wants to DnC cos he thinks at this stage, if still so small, even if its due to slower growth, chances are bb is not going to make it anyway. I had to ask for another 2weeks delay to think carefully and really see how before we make the final decision.

This week, i will be going to another gynae too, just for a 2nd opinion such that i may prepare my heart for the next course of action or if there will be a miracle. If bb is fine, really, its then God's miracle cos already doctor dont have faith in it.

I am very very tired, never felt this tired before in all the years of TTC. I told God bb is in his hands, do what he deem fit and grant a miracle if this gift is meant to stay.

Vanilla, great that the holes are getting smaller, Elisha is receiving progressive healing! Praise God! Yes, will pray and lets pray for continued healing little by little and protection all around!
 
hi Sunflower, thanks...I am glad that u r seeking 2nd opinion. Ya, diff docs have diff outlook. Some docs at 6weeks dont see heartbeat will suggest DnC, some docs like mine wait till 8-10weeks. She said some bbs take longer to progress...Hold on to God ok, we will pray for u..if tired, rest, we will continue jiayouing u and praying for u and ur hb....

hi sisters - just booked the surgery date. Will be on 13 May morning as 12 May only has pm slot...Pls pray too for lack of infection and no illness so that Elisha can proceed w his surgery. Thanks v much!!
 
Thanks Vanilla. Ok, lets press on.

I am looking hard at my ultrasound image. When not zoom in, indeed see nothing, just a blob of black bubble. But when i zoom in, i actually get to see quite visibly, a smaller circle with white rimm inside the black bubble. That should be the yolk sac right? Not sure is it i am imagining or the scan really not clear since i had to zoom in to see the yolk sac, i also saw a small whitish blob at the corner of the black bubble. Wondering if thats the small fetal pole that was maybe just forming and thus not seen on ultrasound yet. Or maybe i am just still hopeful and hallucinating. Sigh. Only a 2nd opinion scan will tell now. Like what you gals say and what my DH insist also, there can be miracles. Till i see red or i have to lie on the operating table, i should really try hard to believe!
 
Sunflower dear, Don't despair. Keep praying and trust for a miracle. Hold on to God's hand.

Dear God, I pray for a miracle to happen in sunflower's womb. You have brought her so far, I pray that You will complete the work you have started in her. Let Your supernatural life flow through her body and give life to the baby that is trying to grow. You are our ultimate doctor and we trust in you to do your work. Have mercy on this little life and let it develop healthily into a viable pregnancy. We commit sunflower and her hubby into your hands. Fill their minds with positive thoughts and scriptures of Your promises and don't let them lose faith that You will give them only the best in your will. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.
 
Just an update on my end: I had a BFP. Praise God for His mercy and grace. Now the next 2ww for the heartbeat. My doc's extended my mc by two weeks so i can continue to rest. Thank you all for your prayers.
 
Oh Psalm, congrats!!! Praise God! Now you must take good care ok?! Still drinking red dates and wearing bedroom slippers? Eat and rest well! Your doc is so good, give you MC to rest!
 
hi sunflower dear, yes still drinking red dates n wearing bdrm slippers. yeahlor, i was so shocked when he extended my mc by two weeks.. but i'll take leave for the second week cos i feel paisay. my boss n colleagues must be wondering what's so seriously wrong with me!
 
Hey Vanilla, hang in there and keep yourself healthy so you can take care of Elisha. I know God will protect him through this entire process.

Dear God, I pray for your hand of protection to be upon Elisha during this run-up to his surgery. I pray for the blood of Jesus to cover this precious baby and keep him in perfect health. I pray for good appetite that he can eat well and build up his health. I pray against any form of virus or germ. Strengthen his immune system during this period and let him be in good condition for the surgery. In Jesus' most precious name I pray, Amen.
 
congrats psalm91! Hv a gd rest and talk to your embie to give strong strong heartbeats in the next scan.

sunflower, dun despair..commit your bb to God and let Him take charge. U hv done well and will cont to do so. Let God be your pillar of support and strength.

Thx Vanilla, i received your mms. Will try tt out.

Today i took a day off to take care of my girl. After taking care of her over the weekend, she showed some improvement. I wiped her face many times a day and keep applying moisturiser whenever she is awake. The redness sort of subsiding. I also used the steroid twice a day as advised by pd. I am taking leave coz i want to ensure my mil and maid know how to care for her correctly. Actually my mil is rather stubborn and sometimes refuse to listen to me abt taking care of bbs. She likes to wrap my bbs even in a hot afternoon. Whn i first saw rashes on my girl's tummy weeks ago, i told her again to stop wrapping my bbs during day time. Last mon whn my girl's rashed spread all over her body, face, hands and legs, she started to put the blame on my breastmilk...sigh. For 1 week, i had asked her to use the med pd gave and handle her hygienically but it only got worse. When i looked after my girl over the weekend, she showed much improvement so i decided to take leave today to show them how to do it. I thank God that there is improvement. But today, i saw my mil wrap my boy with cloth...faint. I gave her a stern 'no' this time. Rly hv no choice sometimes.
 
hi sunflower did u ask the first doc if there is yolk? Actually i v blur..alot of things i never ask then.. i only ask got heartbeat or not? dun know abt fetal pole...when is ur next visit to the 2nd gynae?

hi Psalm - thanks v much!

Hi NZ - good that u took leave to show ur MIL and maid how to take care...nowadays weather v hot..bb also v easy get heat rash...my boy can b so hot that little beads of sweat will appear on his nose n his 2 cheeks red. now they r bigger more active will be scared of heat...so no need wrap during day time...

U can get that cleanser from NTUC Unity. How was that day when u brought ur twins to church?
 
Heehee Psalm, i know what you mean. Same here, barely half a year has passed, i already taken about 5 days MC. Very paisay also. I told my boss already that if things dont go well, i might MC again to 'remove'. She gave me a 'sorry' look, glad that she understands.

NZ, ya i guess i just have to. Just now over lunch, i suddenly have alittle cramp. Walked slowly back to office then double up on duphaston. Actually i was only given half of my earlier dosage from this week cos dr already expecting me to MC. But when i felt the cramp, i just heck care dr and double back up the dosage. Maternal instinct? Cos i so scared its the sac detaching due to not enuff progesterone! Then i would have killed my bb even before my 2nd opinion dr visit! Gosh!

Vanilla, he knows cos he can see from the report say got yolk sac. So he didnt mention blighted ovum to me but just say its likely not going to make it. Actually, blur is good, ignorance is bliss. If like me, read too much, worry too much also no good. I research on internet, they say got yolk sac then cant be true blighted ovum. So i am alittle hopeful again.

Come to think of it, i was measuring 5weeks when i first scan 2weeks ago. Then last fri scan i should be just 7weeks? If so, maybe still can wait out another 2weeks to see whether at week9, really still no fetal or heartbeat. Or i wishful thinking? Sigh. I hate this tussle of the mind! My 2nd opinion visit is this Thurs.
 
Hi NZ, if your mil really want to wrap/swaddle the babies, just make sure the babies wear short sleeves and swaddle in diaper cloth. My mum is doing that cos we notice heat rash on Faith but it's better to wrap her to prevent startle reflex, so we use the diaper cloth as a swaddle for day-time when we dun switch on the aircon.

NZ, if you mix your breastmilk with formula, sometimes the formula milk does give baby a problem with eczema (i only find out from my reading materials..), u might want to switch brands to see if it helps?

Sunflower, we will pray for you and uphold you in prayer. Continue to claim the promises of God!

Vanilla, how's Elisha? Is he still very active at night? I can't wait to see him and his 'funny' face/smile - so cute! Wait till my confinement is over, we can all have a meet up with our babies :)
 
Sunflower, don't think so much and stress yourself out. The best thing you can do now is PRAY. Keep your mind on God's promises and keep reciting scriptures in your mind and claim life upon your baby. And of course, rest as much as possible and eat well ok? Every time a negative thot enters your mind, rebuke it in Jesus' name. It's not just a physical battle but a spiritual one. Keep fighting and claim victory!
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Ya Sunflower, agree with Psalm91. Let's claim His glory and strength and let's refuse all the negatives thoughts, trying to weaken us.

NZ, your MIL is truly the olden type of parents. when my girl was in ICU, my MIL said her frens tell her to let my daughter drink water burnt with incense. sigh,.... the things they believe.

psalm91, congrats to you again. really happy for you.

anyway, yesterday tried to post my comments but realized the thread under "weekend maintenance" mode cos cannot. anyway, as i updated Vanillapod, one of my frens finally strike again naturally. the funny thing is that both times she managed to strike naturally, the 1st time was right before her scheduled IUI. i know i shd not compare but "heart itchy itchy" must say out.
 
hi sunflower - i was like u when my ivf doc say slim chance and my gynae also v sad when she see me at 6wks cos no heartbeat and my ohss going off - i research the net on blighted ovum, i cried reading the support on miscarriage, i even email a A*star researcher who is doing stem cell on embroys...then tiredness overtake me and i told God, u take over, I cannot fight it, i cannot solve it. Peace did come in a sense cos I leave it to Him, if He thinks bb is better w Him, then I know I will c bb in Heaven. That is why on 8weeks at the gynae clinic, me and my hb mood was more relaxed and we joked and went in the room anticipating bad news.

I think God always has His plans for us. If u all recall, I mentioned before that God spoke to me when i asked Him angrily why I cannot have bb naturally - is it He wants me to feel weak and He replied no my child this (ivf) will make u strong. I guess that is the warming up for me now - Elisha's operation.

Be strong ok Sunflower, God will hear u. Who is ur 2nd opinion gynae?

hi Joie - ya sometimes he is ok sleep and make less noise, sometimes v active, kick here, kick there, cry and scream for pacifier n hugs and cuddles...that nite he wiggle here and there till his PJ pants came off and he was just in his diaper...I was like "aiyo! how u sleep"..he can flip to his tummy, arms outstretch and do swimming style on his pacificers cos i hear noise...all these while still asleep!

Haha Mricky - i understand what u mean by heart itchy itchy - like my heart also itchy itchy when my frens all get preggie like a snap of fingers...but when my heart not itchy then i think "Hey, God is making me go thru this cos He is testing my faith and moulding me..it is for my good".

I must share something w u all - during my visit to the cardiologist on sat, after us is a v young couple w a newborn bb and 2 sets of grannies. the guy is like still in army (botak head)...i was busy w elisha so i did not py attention to him. Only time i hear him was at the end of the consultant, he asked the nurse if the aircon can be tune down..the nurse ask is it bb cold, he replied in chinese - i am cold, bb cold that is her own prob...i was shocked..that from a dad...the nurse also irritated by him, told him, if u r the one cold, cannot help u.

Then the bb n mother went to the scanning room, he shouted at his wife sayign " tell doc next time we c him at kk"...then he told his mum, no room in scanning rm, max can take 3 adults..he and his mum are unnecessary pple.

later my hb told me he heard the guy and his mum talking or complaining to each other - the guy actually told his mum - next time she (the daughter) better work 2 jobs to pay me back (the medical bills)...

P/s: his daughter v guai, sleeping away and drinking water wout fussing...

I heard that from my hb i v angry. Is it not as if the child asked to be born with heart illness..which child wants to be sick. If i heard that in the room - i would have told him - hey it is ur genes or ur wife's genes that ur bb has heart probs, dun blame her.

So fed up w such pple. he somemore playing his psp in the clinic...
 
Just a bimbo question - I was wondering, does the bloatedness from all the hormone jabs subside or will my tummy just get bigger from now? My tummy is so big, like 4 mths, if I go back to work like this, everyone will know I'm preggie liao.. means I must start buying looser clothes now oredi?

Mricky, it's natural to be heart itchy itchy... over a period of a year, all the other couples who got married within the same two-year period as us all got preggie one after another, and some had just married for just a couple of months. It was horrible going to church and seeing all these happy expecting mummies and wondering when's my turn. I've been dreading the next round when they would all be expecting their second and I wld still be TCC-ing.. but God is good and it's finally my turn. I pray He will give me a strong pregnancy right to the end.
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Vanilla, it's ironic isn't it? People like us take such pains to conceive, we treasure our little ones with our lives. Others who pop so easily just don't appreciate what they have. Hopefully that dad learns to love his girl before it's too late.
 
sunflower- so happy to see u here.. jia you jia you!!! i am going to believe for you a miracle.!

elisha- you are brave boy and will make it for your op.. auntie will pray for you to be strong n healthy n no complications!!!

NZ- it is really hot lately..poor babies to be so wrapped up.. same my mil alwasy scold me last time if i never wear socks for son when we go out kept insisting his feet will be so cold.. maybe when they older u can let them wear those singlet with little holes.. very coolin ones.

Psalm 91- i like your dr so nice to give u another 2 wks to stabilise... i was given 3 days mc yesterday but i only took 1 day cos too much work too finish..

Mricky- hang in there.. never know u might even strike naturally when u least expected it.. i met a mum here she has many iuis,1 so-iui n even 1 ivf but just few wks ago i saw her in the support grp for infertility thread again n she wrote she is preg naturally when she least prepared for it..
 
hi psalm - hee hee..i asked my gynae before...bloatedness is a gd sign and she say can be there till 12 weeks....for memy bloatedness subside a bit that is why they were concerned. i started wearing loose clothes after 2ww... then after stabilising the tummy begin to show already...so technically from 2ww onwards started wearing preggie clothes (first loose clothes then when loose clothes cant fit n after 1trimester then i bot real preggie clothes).



When i went back work 5weeks after ET, pple also ask me if preggie (i walk v slow cos i still in pain from ohss)...i say no.. later when more visible pple stop asking cos obvious to them. initially before 1 trim office pple ask i say i back ache...

thanks trusting him...cant wait for him to recover from his surgery then we can all meet up...
 
Sigh, means bopian, once i return to the office, everyone will know liao. Loose clothes, flat shoes, slow walking - all dead giveaways. I love my high high heels so ppl sure to notice if I'm suddenly shorter and "fatter" hahhahahah.. I just don't really want colleagues/boss to associate my HL with fertility treatment la, don't want to be the topic of gossip. But no choice, will just develop thick skin. :p

Over the weekend, when my SIL and MIL saw me, they commented that I'm quite bloated alredy. Even my little niece who's 3 years old patted my tummy, you know! So funny.
 
Hi trustinghim, have you been eating your brown rice? i just had brown rice porridge for lunch and thought of you.
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I oso think my gynae is very understanding and generous with MC. He will always ask if I need MC, esp on weekday appointments, and I'm the one that will say, " No la, I can't take off today, need to rush back to office, got lots of work to do." I'm really thankful none of my other colleagues are on leave these couple of weeks so I can safely consume my HL and not worry.
 
tks TrustingHIm for continuing to encourage me. i shd trust in Him tho lately i keep bumpinginto messages tat i shd leave it to God's good timing. Another cloud of doubt start to shadow my tots again, ie whether i sh proceed with further treatment (ie let nature takes its course) or go for treatment but trust Him. Do pray for me please for guidance and that i may hear what God has to say.

Yesterday my hubby asked me again if i really wanted another child. I said yes cos I wan my daughter to have at least another sibling to accompany her when both of us leave tis world.

Sunflower, we are all rooting for you. Don give up!!!! Chin up ok?

TrustingHim/Psalm91 - shd let pp know u're preggie. if they ask u wat happened, like what TrustingHim and Vanillapod used to tell me, just smile and walk away. They'll get the hint u don wanna talk abt it.
 
Morning ladies. Sorry, early morning, i had to be a damper to this thread. I have decided to terminate this pregnancy. Want to miscarry naturally instead of DnC but body still not expelling. Can i check with you, if you know, whether is there any medication we can get from doctors to abort and expel? I heard of this medicine "methotexate" is it for this purpose?
 
hi sunflower...why u suddenly decide to do it? Why dun u wait for tom to see the doc for 2nd opinion first?

I am not sure what medicine, but the last time my gynae say if sac is big might not expel so need DnC.

Can i say something pls - pls wait for 1 more day and see 2nd opinion first...then if really no good news then u talk to him/her abt DnC. Pls sunflower, 1 more day...
 
Vanilla, i already seen Dr Fong yesterday. He was my 2nd opinion doc. He said the same thing Dr Loh said. And both tried to tell me, since already not right size, no fetal pole seen at week 9-10, its not healthy already and imply to me no point force it. So, i am prepared, can 'let go' already. I think God is not granting me the miracle already. Its so late already.
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Sorry gals. For all your prayers and well wishes and encouragements that yet in the end i am still not able to deliver good results. But thanks very much for walking these dark few weeks with me!
 
Trusting Him, sorry. We have been pressing on together since so long ago. But now, sorry, i cant keep up with you le. But you dont be affected. You jia you ok! Its been 3 long years, you must take care and nurture this pregnancy ok!

I hope i wont take another 3 years to share my joy with you again. Please pray that for me if you can. Thanks!
 
Vanilla, i really appreciate all your support and encouragements! From the book Streams of Desert which i am still reading till these weeks of praying for me and encouraging me. TrustingHim, same to you too. Thanks gals! How i wish i can give you gals a big, warm hug!
 
hi sunflower..HUGS..my heart really aches for u! dun say sorry...ur good news is not here yet..but it will be here, i know!

I hope to be able to encourage u and "talk" to u going forward ... stay w us here ok... i will continue to pray for u and ur hb that God will grant u a bb.

Take a break first and then see what u want to do next.Maybe changing fertility treatment and doc to someone else?

Hugs...u must take care. Do u want to do DnC w private doc? I think my female gynae is quite ok, she will not scar the womb too much which is important.

Let me share w u something (not sure if i share w u b4):
Last yr, when i was having E and found out abt his tummy condition and possibilty of DS i was devastated. Then my hb's fren lost his bb - 4 hrs after he was born. He had a head condition - his skull was not fully formed. My hb asked me why they did not abort the child cos detailed scan will show the abnormality. I told him it is v diff for the mum esp since bb is kicking. Indeed his wife was also praying for a miracle.

The child was born but did not survived. The parents was only able to spend 4 hrs w him before cremanting him and send him home to God. Everyone was devastated.

The couple took time to do God's work - they went for a mission trip a few mths later and concieved a bb girl. this mth the bb girl will be born.

Sunflower - when we are at the deepest valley and most sorrowful path, our hearts are heavy and we cannot see beyond our grief. But God is always there. He will clear the tears from our eyes, lift our hearts and create a miracle when we least expected it.

Anything u need, if u want to talk, call, meet..anything, I am just a ring away ok...
 
Vanilla, thanks. Nope, you havent told me about your hb's friend. His case is indeed a blessing in the end. God took away their child but God 'comfort' them back with another. I also hope God will have mercy on me and 'comfort' me back. But then i am not as religious as them. To tell you the truth, i didnt attend church for very long, let alone missions. Only this time cos i needed God and needed miracles, i crawled back to church, pray on my knees and hang on to God for 'dear life'. But now, i think i am back to square 1, the flesh is weak again. And my case is nothing compared to what they have gone through. So i dont know if God will still hear or bless me. But i will try to keep my faith and pray and try to trust God. Its hard cos i am like a ship steering in dark waters, i cant see whats ahead at all and whether i will ever reach land. Hopefully God will spare me of more heartaches, hopefully let me conceive again and be a testimonial or encouragement to others.

I am hoping not to do a DnC though Dr Loh and Dr Fong both suggested its better. Cos i dont want to add that stress to my body and risk another infertility cause if its not well done. I want to miscarry naturally since my sac was also small and if really not cleaned then no choice DnC lor. Dont know whether i am making a wise decision. Anyway Dr Loh is only seeing me next week. By then i should have miscarried since i am spotting already now after stopped all my supplements.
 
Hi gals,

Still remember me? How are you, vanilla, NZ, MsFamily? Your babies are so cute. It has been almost a year since i last posted here...Just a little update on myself. Had a rollar coaster cycle on my last round of FET.

I went for my 2nd FET last Nov/Dec last year. The result was positve and the HcG level was quite good this time around. Scheduled for a scan on the 5th week but the doc didnt see anything. I did another round of blood test. The blood test doubled and the doc said it might be too early. Went back again on the 6th week but still didnt detect anything, not even a sac. Did blood test again and it has increased normally the way it should in a normal pregnancy. Since my body is showing positive sign of pregnancy but didnt see any signs of in the womb, the doc suspect it might be etopic. I was scheduled for a laproscopy to see if it's etopic and to remove it on X'mas eve. I was devasted and couldnt stop crying. I keep praying for God for a miracle. Before entering into the op room, the doc scan me again and saw a very tiny sac, perhaps even a flicker of heartbeat. But it is still not stable and unconfirmed. The doc did told me there might be some glimmer of hope....My op was cancelled. I felt so relieved and thank God. Went back for another scan on 71/2th week later but was told that the sac has shrinked in size. My doc advised me that this pregnancy is most likely not viable and we should not forced it since the baby might not be growing healthily, tat's why it has stopped growing. If we forced it to grow, there is a high chances that there will be some complication later on. Went for a second opinion, also told the same. My doc advice me to wait for the natural miscarriage to come since my sac is very small, no D&C required. It was really a diff time for us and our family. I didnt want to give up so easily but there's nothing much i could do. I leave everyhing to God. The waiting period was very difficult. i couldnt sleep and eat well. I keep thinking if there is anything i could do to keep the baby or if there is anything i did which lose the baby. After stopping all the support, my period still did not come. It was only 10 days later, it finally came and i was bleeding non-stop for another 10 days. It was a diff ordeal for me but i know i must not give up.
Sunflower, i know now u r going thru a diff time but just hang on there and continue to trust in God. I always tell myself that God loves us very much and He will one day grant me the desire of my heart. I shall not give up and have faith, no matter how difficult or tiring this journey will be....

Just hang on there....I think DnC will not be necessary if you have stated bleeding. Just go for the scan after the period has stopped to ensure everything is expelled from the body, if not it will harm your body. Take time to grief for losing the little one. Just remember God is with your baby now.....and move on. If you are able to get pregnant this time around, there is no reason why you cant in the near future.

I probably will go for my last round of FET next month. Hopefully, this time around things will be a smooth one. No more rollar coaster ride....

Vanilla, will continue keep Elisha in my prayer. He is so cute. God will protect him and will have a speedy recover after the op.
 
thanks zoey - yes i rem u! I always think of sisters who were in this thread and might be reading silently - like BabyLow too...

Hugs - for what u have been through..

i alwasy rem abt the refiner story - the blacksmith that refines the silver....when asked when would he know the silver is refined, he said when he can see his image on it. That is exactly what God is doing to us here..and like the blacksmith, God will not leave us when He is refining us in the heat cos His eyes must always be on the lead that is being burnt at high heat.

Thanks for keeping Elisha in ur prayers...I have a pic of him from sean lau photography but the image is too big, cannot post here....sigh.

I have something i want to share -- something i read when i thot Elisha was a blighted ovum. Actually now i sometimes ask myself is it becos i "force" myself to have Elisha that is why he has so many health complications as his initial growth in me is not smooth sailing? Sigh, if only i can take over his operation - i can do like 10X heart by pass so he need not do it...but I know it is God's will for this little boy.
What makes a Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes
and prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a mother
and I know I heard him say...

"A mother has a baby."
This we know is true.
But can you be a mother
when your baby's not with you?

"Yes, you can,"
He said with confidence in His voice.
"I give many women babies.
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
and others for a day.
Some I send to fill your womb
but there's no need to stay."

"I just don't understand this, God.
I want my baby here."
He took a breath and cleared His throat
and then I saw a tear.

"I wish that I could show you
what your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
with other children and say,

'We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh, so much
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom
who had so much love for me.
I learned my lesson very quickly.
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh, so much
but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep,
on her pillow is where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
and whisper in her ear,
"Mommy, don't be sad today.
I'm your baby and I'm here."

So, you see, my dear sweet one,
your child is okay.
Your baby is here in my homeand
this is where she'll stay.

She'll wait for you with me
until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home,
She'll be at the gates for you.

So, now you see what makes a mother.
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not see
you're a mother with a child.
They'll be up here with me one day
and know you've always been one."
 


Dear Vanilla,

Have been reading the post on and off. Good to see that there are many sisters conceived and give birth oredi. I like the poem very much, it's very touching.

I think there is no chance for me even though i wish to "force" it, it might still not work it out for me. I remember reading your fren's story about how they only had 4 years with the little boy born with head abnormality. i think any mom would not want to terminate the baby even though she is aware of the condition....because there is still chance for a baby to survive. Still, the parents spend a good 4 years with the child before going back to the Lord. It's a diff journey and makes us more appreciate of wat we have. Like you said earlier, God will not make us go thru for more than wat we can bear....things will end happily. Think positively, preserve and have faith. God never desert us, rite?
 
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