Childless Not By Choice Group

Jus now was at my IL's place and huge crowds of relatives came...as usual, some will ask when are we hving our own babies..I jus smile at them refusing to answer...dh answer them 'soon soon"...haaa....I tink by smiling is the best la...bt Dh's answer is no good lo..I find...
 


Tigi and rostrum, ya its all beyond our conrol and i feels that its luck and also God decision whether we wil BFP at a certain attempt.. coz one attempt doesnt means failure in another attempt. Actually the more we know the more we became worried and then alot negative thinking in our mind which i think its stressful and encouraging negative energy in our mind and body.

Waiting in hope... no matter who we have to go thru juz take it like a pinch of salt... Have encorage in everything we do and hope we have fruitful returns soon...
 
happy tiger year!!
Today my sis in law's sis came and she is 5 mths preggy, my MIL asked me go touch her tummy during lunch! Told her NO coz first time meeting SIL's sis and she might not like pple touching her tummy.

Tigi when r u flying to korea?
 
Rostrum, was back from MIL and mum place in the afternoon... this year no ppl ask me coz DH's cousin who married same year as us had a baby of 2mths filed for divorced recently... so everyone 'topic' was on that... the aunties and uncles all said most important is a good marriage and the rest is secondary. Both DH and I kept quite lor... Sad to hear abt their divorced but this incident had remained to cherish DH more .....

Gan, i think Tigi flew off on 12 feb? I think ur MIL is of good intention but if i will u i also wont touch coz dun know ppl like or not and also it makes us appears so desperate. Dun worry it will be our turn soon... no need to touch others..
 
Rostrum, ur DH answer is acceptable la coz my DH will also answer like that coz this is the only way to brush them off...
 
Rostrum, your DH's reply was mine too. Every year relatives asked, i will say 'soon soon' or 'next year next year' hahaha ..
 
hi Ladies

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Wishing us all Good Health, Good Bliss and of course, Many Many 'mini Tigers and Tigresses' this year!! Many Many 'cuddly little bunnies' too!!

Lets all not give up ok? No matter what our circumtstances are, we just keep trying, so long as we dont give up, God will honour our hearts' desires. Lets pray fervently!
 
Hi Lyn, my BT was supposed to be last fri (D16) but i kiasu, went last wed instead (D14). I am finally blessed this time, its a BFP
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But things are still in very early stages so i am not exactly relaxed yet, praying and hoping that all will be fine during week 6 scan.
 
Hey sunflower, congrats to you. Wat a great cny present, enjoy your journey over the nex 9 months

when I was visiting my relatives my grandma pulled me aside and talked to me very long abt bringing a baby next year.. She was so sincere and I certainly do not hold it against her, but juz feeling like I let her down
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anyway it's cny so let's put aside our sadness and enjoy the holidays. Hope tiger year is a good one for all of us
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Thanks ladies
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Ok my story goes:

I am in my early thirties and have been actively TTC-ing for about 4 years already and even within the 1st year, i already started on IVF after seeing at least 3 well known fertility specialists and 2 TCM doctors. Even with IVF, i didnt have an easy time conceiving. Many people would have striked after 1 or 2 fresh cycles or 1 or 2 FETs, but i had to go through 3 fresh cycles and 3 FETs in order to conceive. I think the nurses at KKIVF must have felt so much pity for me when they keep seeng me go back so often. And in the process i finally had my first BFP but only to miscarry it at week 9. Its like brought up to the skies and then mercilessly thrown down back to the ground. There were alot of heartaches and tears especially when my first BFP ended in a MC. I could not swallow it, i went on my knees so often and cried and prayed.

I was devastated and even felt God (i am a christian) was cruel to me, gave me my gift only to rob it away. When people around me started announcing they were preggy 1 after another, i was like 'yeah yeah, God only gave all his miracles to others, not to me'. I felt like a forgotten child left in 1 dark corner, can only watch others beam with their joy. I felt small when i meet friends and relatives esp during CNY. I also met mean vicious people who laughed at me. I wanted to give up and run away. It was too tiring.

But then, some of my sisters in the other threads was very encouraging to me. Little by little, i just got back on my feet and decided to keep trying. My rationale was as long as i keep trying, sure will have, even if it has to take 10 FETs, surely 1 FET will strike. There was once Dr Loh (KKIVF) casually asked have i thought about adoption? It was a stab into the heart becos it felt like he, as a doc, was giving up on me. But i tell myself, cannot give up. Even if docs want to give up on me, i must not give up on myself! So i just mustered all my courage and keep trying.

In the process, i feel down many times, when doing injections, when taking terrible tasting TCM mud water. I felt very 'wei qu', why people has it easy, why some can even abort their child but why must my journey be full of trials? But i just grit my teeth and move on. Spiritually, i also started to believe more in God and prayed alot more, allowing God to change my heart and my attitude. Finally, its the right time now for me to receive my gift. I am grateful and finally for once after so long, i felt my heart can finally smile. My heart hasnt smile for many years.

I know my story is just familiar and there are others who faced even more difficulties than me. But i believe and want to encourage all my friends that when there is a will there is a way. For me, as a christian, i believe God will grant our hearts desires. In whatever we do, just have to learn from our experiences to take better steps next but never give up!

I am still in early stages of my pregnancy so i have to admit, i cant feel all relaxed yet but one thing i am sure is, even if i fail this time, i will be back to another FET very soon. I am a stubborn person. I will rut it out and not give up till i have really come to the end of the road.
 
Sorry ladies for the super long post. What i want to say really is, lets not give up. Lets not give up on ourselves and our yet to born children. For some of us, success is near. Lets just keep going and believing.
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Waiting in Hope, my grandma also and somemore she is not well due to old age. When she asked me quick quick have a baby as if time is running out, i felt like telling her so much that 'have already' but scared not yet stable better dont raise her hopes. I really hope i can let her see her great grandchild soon.
 
Sunflower seed, thks for sharing ur journey with us... I was also tearing when i was reading ur posting. If there isnt forum like this, we will never have a chance to know wat others had gone thru... I felt that u r a person of very strong will and big congrats ur little bundle of joy is with u now.
I m also in my early thirthies and also ttcing abt 3 years plus..but in this 3 yrs there isnt any doc suggested ivf otherwise i could have started the programe earlier rather then only last year well... everything is sort of fated but i also believe that our hard work and strong fighting spirit can touch GOD and eventually blessed all of us here with a healthy bb...
 
Thanks Lyn
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Yes i am also grateful for this forum. You know, people like us who need abit more help in conceiving, we can hardly find friends to talk to about our pains and experiences becos not many will understand. But here, we can all openly share our journeys and be supportive to one another. I have received lotsa encouragements and support from sisters here. I am thankful for all of that.

Yes, all of us will have healthy cute babies soon! I want to pray for and believe in that! Our hearts desire is pure and righteous, God will honour us.

This FET cycle, actually i have to say was a miracle. I started off bad, lining only 6.5mm not ready for ET at all. I was about to abort the cycle and trash away my progynova pills. Then so miraculously, a sister saw my post to abort, she shared her experience that as long as can nurture to 8mm can still ET, no need to abort cycle. So i continued my progynova pills and now here i am. She was really God sent to me. Now i hope i can also encourage those with lining issues with my testimony.

Also, in my 2ww, i had tummy upset, diarreoh and vomitting and even went KK A&E where the doc pressed my womb! Then my BBT dipped! All the odds were against me but miracles still happened!

Lets all jia you together ok?! This year will be a good year for all of us, lets believe!
 
Sunflower thanks for sharing. Your success would indeed be a great enouragement to all sisters who are trying to conceive.
When I read your story, it reminded me of what my christian gf SMS me when I failed my fresh cycle. "He is not a Father who gives stones when His children asked for fish." God would indeed grant our wishes.

I am about to start my FET, so I am very much encouraged by your successful FET.

I am in my late thirties. Have not really been actively trying for a baby till I am 35. Thought babies would come easy. But after a few months with no news, i went to see a fertility doc in TMC. Went through all sorts of checks, 2
IUIs and the most recent IVF.

Hope I will be successful this time. How many embryos did you transfer this time?
 
Lyn, once my menses come, will start FET cycle, hoping the menses will come end of Feb. Would be medicated like Sunflower Seeds.
U back to work already?
 
Hi Lyn, i was taking full 2 weeks HL for my first few transfers then becos i keep failing and keep having to do again and again, i became paiseh to take full 2 weeks HL liao. So for later cycles, i actually reduce, take partial HL and partial leave. Then slowly, recent cycle, i didnt even want to take HL, applied leave only. And even then i didnt rest for the 2 full weeks wait. I went to back to work mid of 2ww as i feel better to keep myself occupied and dont let my mind run too wild. But at work, i take things really easy and moved slowly.

Hi Gan, you will be successful de ok? Just rest and take care of yourself really well before the FET and stay positive! I transferred 2 embies this time. Yup, i am back to work since 2 weeks ago, strong MS hasnt kick in, maybe when it kicks in, i will take some leave here and there to rest. I am hoping for MS to come, crazy right? But i cant help it, i MC before so i keep hoping can feel MS to know things are fine.
 
Happy CNY ladies!

Hi Lyn,
Sorry. MIA for long time. have been busy at work. How are you? We need to organize our long-postpone breakfast outing.
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Anyway, when you starting your new cycle. Me haven't decided yet. procrastinating. have rested more than 6 months liaoz.. have not done anything like see TCM or anything.. hahahaha
 
Liz, will sms u later for our breakfast meeting... Hm.... for me i m waiting for my menses to come then do scanning c if this is a gd cycle to start.. I understand ur procrastination coz i m like tat now too. Some days wanted to start asap. some days very afraid to go thru it again... damn sian..
 
Gan, i wont be back to work till next mon coz boss overseas... wow very fast u staring FET liao.. gtg to BFP soon.. Jia you...

Sunflower, normally FET they wont give 2 HL? But see.. u didnt take 2HL also can BFP so if its yours will be yours
 
Sunflower, in general saying its actually good to have MS coz hcg raising... but i got a frd who dun have a single day of MS and yet have pregnancy very smooth... dun worry too much, enjoy ur pregnancy..
 
Hi Lyn, in the past they used to allow 18days HL if we ask, even for FET. But i think recent months, they start to not give so many days or just give MC liao.
 
Hi Sunflower and Lyn thanks for your well wishes.

Lyn - Lucky you that your work starts next week, can rest more. I am on leave today. Tomorrow back to work liao. I think i will take 1 week leave on top of the MC that KKIVF gave during my FET. Actually getting abit nervous abt the FET. =P

Sunflower - Just rest well and takes things easy at work. Not everyone has MS de, my gf she didn't have MS. In fact she didn't know she was preganant till just past first trimester! and she had a smooth pregnancy and gave birth to an adorable bb boy. When are you going for your scan? Must be very excited.
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lyn
hahaha.. dunno if worth the trouble... anyway, not sure if i can or not.. guess a bit tired of life recently. And think having one will create more MIL troubles

for progynova, i took it till BT leh.
 
Lyn, for medicated FET, they put me on progynova for about 13 days then scan see whether lining ready. Unfortunately for me lining was not good so i had to take some more progynova and scan again and again. Eventually my lining only made it after 20 days. So as guide, usually need take progynova about 2-3 weeks.

I went for ACU, in fact it was ACU that helped me sprint lining from 6.5mm to 8mm within 4 days then dr gave green light to proceed with ET. I still didnt rest and ACU another 2 days and by ET day, lining 9mm already.

Thanks Gan
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My scan next next fri, getting anxious, its like the same feeling when waiting for BHCG BT. So i am still in 2ww actually.
 
Oh ya Liz is right, even after ET also will take progynova all the way but at reduced dosage. And if BFP, have to continue to take also.
 
oh ya! Sunflower_seed congrats and have a smooth 9 months.

for my FET, the doc giving me some pill form of v-inserts. have to insert till after 1st trimester leh is successful.. yikes!
 
Liz, ya la i understand actually life can be meaningless at times.. but happy also must live sad also must live.. which one do u prefer? As for ttcing, like sunflower say if there is a will there is a way...dun give up yet.. u still got embbies dun give up on them..

Sunflower, huh need to take for so long? Liz do u remember how days u took till ET and were u given injection to support the luteal phase?
 
Happy Chinese New Year Sisters!!
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Sorry, I was MIA over the new year as I went to chill out at Ritz Carlton over that period.

Anyway, its not too late to wish you girls to have a brand new year, brand new hopes, and may all your wishes come true, those who want to stay young and beautiful stay young and beautiful and those who want to have little tigers as their babies faster conceive and deliver smoothly brave little tigers in this garung year of the tiger
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I will read through the posts and write properly later as this morning a lot of backlog at work..

Speak soon yeah..

Hello Lyn, hope your new year was good..heeee...
 
Lyn i did go to resort world on CNY D1 at night but didn't go into universal studio becoz close liao as it was already 10pm plus when we were there. The tickets for the preview are all sold out. So crowded there lor, can see many pple queueing to go into casino.
Not shopping today, resting at home. I had bad gastric pain 2 nights ago and had to go to tan tock seng A&E, so today will just rest and get ready for work tomorrow.
Are you going shopping?
 
Gan, didnt go shopping juz eat and sleep coz weather very hot very sian to go out... maybe will go out 2molo.. see how. R u still gtg to dr zou twicw weekly?
 


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