Child Adoption

Hello all,
I am wondering if there are any adoptive parents who have both genetic (own) and adopted children?

I'm have secondary fertility and gal is 4YO.
I know I am really lucky to have one, precisely of her i feel that the best gift I can ever give her is a bro or sister to love...
I have failed 2 ivfs I don't think another try will make a diff... V v poor responder to stims...

My hubby has reservations... He said he is open to adoption If we never had one... But since he has already one (and is the splitting image of him- lucky him!) he is very worried about not able to love the other enough...and hence letting the child down...

Anyone in similar position?
 


Hi,i will be going for my office interview on 13/08/2012,a bit nervous.But after office interview,it take how how lonh for them to come my house for home visit.Thanks.
 
Hi bensonho, the home visit was about 2 weeks after the office interview. Short wait compared to waiting for the first office interview.
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after that about 2 weeks later, I got my approved report from Touch. I guess the other agencies may have a slightly different waiting time though
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Hi everyone, happy to share that I got my approved HSR finally!! It already feels like such a milestone! Guess now just have to wait patiently for our little angel to come!!
 
Ginger cookie ! Thanks for the info. Now I am waiting for final court order after Mcys report in about one mth time.

Mcys interview over on the 6th was pretty much easier as she was more concern how we handle our little baby ... Thankfully bb was relatively cooperative. But some qtns just caught us off guard like when bb go to p1 , when bb in uni. Hmm I told her honestly I really haven't plan that far ahead haha I just looking forward to bb calling me mummy or when bb can walk! Just out of curiosity how would u tell bb about their birth parents if they start asking why their birth parents don't want them. Recently I just got to know that one of my gf was also adopted when I told her about mine. Than it dawn on me that she felt that her birth parents abandon her... My heart sank when I heard her share. Hmmm I certainly don't want my bb to feel that he has been abandon by his birth parents. I really feel very sad thinking of it. Or thinking of an answer to it.

I mean I just know that my bb is a gift from God n he just came from another tummy mummy cause mine wasn't functioning ... Plus I am so greatful to this tummy mummy for giving me this lovely bb. I really pray that my bb will not ask me so many challenging qtns

Bensonho: quite fast mine was like two weeks or so. If u going thru office interview than just run through those questions n answers you wrote for your Hsr submission. Mine was from lutherene. Which agency you using for Hsr report

Mary neo : your Hsr done Liao?
 
Hi bellsbells,mine is from lutherene,so after home visit it takes how long to receive my hsr report.


Hi min21,thanks for sharing with me.
 
hi bensonho, upon submission of yr hsr, how long was the office interview scheduled?
then from the office interview, how long was the home interview schedule?

share with us wat they ask for the home interview can?
 
Hi mary neo,it take six weeks upon submission for office interview,actually it can be as fast as four week to have the office interview bcos of the mcys require me and my wife to haave a criminal check at coc at cantonmement police station.So after my interview tomolo i shall share with you lady and women abt the question.Haha,i feel paiseh here cos it seems im the only guy in these thread.haha
 
Hi,
I am in the process of doing HSR, just finished the first interview. While waiting for the second interview, I am doing research on the adoption agencies. Wow, I am quite surprised to find so many agencies in Singapore. How do I know which one is reliable? What are the factors to look for when choosing the agency?
 
Hi KeepHoldingOn, we are basically recommended 3 agencies ie, Lotus, Greenhouse and Joyful. My hb and I personally met with Lotus and Greenhouse and are pretty comfortable with the person-in-charge. They have also been in the biz for quite long already
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have fun chatting with them!
 
Hi, I done my office interview oredi but how come they din arrange to fix a day on my home visit or is it we have to attend another round on office interview again.
 
Hi Bellbells, about your question on how to tell our children about their birth parents, have you come across any information about lifebooks? These are like scrapbooks that we make for our children to tell them their story and in it we can explain about their parents loving them but because they wanted the best for them, made the decision to look for adoptive parents who could give them the love and care they needed. Maybe you can try to see if you can find some examples online or from books. I haven't done the lifebook for my girl yet :p but seems like a good idea
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@bensonho: sorry I didn't answer earlier. We werent asked to go to any police post/station but in the hrs, there's a question about criminal records...

Regardless of where you are adopting from, pls ensure that birthmom has been counseled & that she is clear and sure of putting her baby up for adoption. It definitely must be one of the most difficult decisions in her life and we have to respect that. The second thing is the agency you work with; the experienced and responsible ones would do the necessary background checks; circumstances of birthparents, birth families, reasons for putting baby up for adoption, ,medical histories, a respectful protocol in place, etc. these would irradiate problems arising from those who are doing it merely for the commercial and profitability, ie no proper procedures in place, slip shot & insensitive to both parties. These agencies I think, are just there to make a quick buck out of the difficult periods of others. Adoptive families like us, might get caught and pay for it in more ways than one.

Re home visits; I'd say to be yourselves. There isn't a template family MCYS looks for. They just want to ensure that the child will be in good hands and environment. All families are different anyway.

@Gingercookie: check out http://www.touch.org.sg/?q=node/996 which lists popular books on adoption & http://sg.******************/we_just_want_you_to_know_andrea_yee/. 'We Just Want You to Know' is a book I published for adoptive families. It might answer the requirements you mentioned above.

Have a good long weekend all,
Andrea
 
@min21: thank u for your recommendation! I will check on them.

@bensoho: I am scheduled for home visit next week. I think you should call the home assessor that u met in the office to check the home visit date.
 
@bensonho: I see. Then I guessed u have to do that. It's based on the home assessor to do his/her complete report for u. Be patient n good luck for both of us!
 
Hi, I'm new here. Just completed my PAB. Now getting docs ready for HSR. Looking around for local Singaporean babies if anyone knows of any up for adoption. How do we go about adopting from Malaysia? Anyone has any contacts of orphanages?
 
Ginger cookie : thanks for the idea. I hv tried compiling them in photo books.

Splw: most of us have tried fertility treatment in one way or another so after our trial and error most of us of "ripe" "young "age hahaha:p I think it's only right that we don't look back at what we have not done but more so how we can do from this point onwards and provide these little angels with a good family and to bring them up to love them . I do think why I haven't adopted seven years ago but what's the point... It's more important that we love these children and thank their tummy mummies for allowing us to be mummies n daddies of their children. It's better late than never ;)

Bensonho: just bare with the interviews .. Before u know you'll be announcing to us your lovely baby;) yours 2nd interview at home already?

Maryneo: Esther n Layla . Esther adopted before me her final court order out already. Me than Layla. I still waiting for Mcys to submit report for final court order.

Mrs ha; you want to bring your bb for Bsf at Bt BATOK church
On tues mornings?
 
Hi Bells , rhetoric assessor email to me n reply to me said that she will up my status for hsr amidst of processing .Wonder water happen .Does anyone occur this situation.
 
Hi bensonho, I guessed everyone of us are anxious to get the report and go to the next step. Each of us has a different background and so it is different for each case. We have to understand that the assessor is doing their best to get our HSR done asap. Like what BellsBells mentioned, just need to bare with the interviews and soon we will be congratulating each other and welcome our new family member
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Hi MissyL and Karen, are u still with this thread? I've the same issue as u. My girl is 5 this year and I've some secondary fertility issues too. Hv u decided to adopt? My husband is all for adoption but I'm just worried about future issues....
 
I see many simply put up the adoption decision due to not able to conceive after ivf failure or due to other secondary reasons.. But not many really mentioned if they are ready to accept a non biological child into the family.. Even in the words that this is your child, some or even a close relative will still sometimes show a cold shoulder or do not give some attention as those that are biological related.. In this case, the child need more of the adopted parents attention.. Are we ready for this and ready to accept the cold shoulders of others especially those close ones?
 
Look ahead in the adoption path and not thinking that this is the same as a biological one.. This is a totally different thing and though we may say all the committed words during the hsr.. But most importantly, when it really happens, can you really meant what you say before?

Discuss with your partner before committing
 
Just to echo jass ... yes to adopt, one has to have a BIG heart to love, if not, no point. For those who already have a biological, are you willing to treat your adopted child equal? That means even splitting equal amount of inheritance to your biological and adopted child one day? It's a good test to our heart, if you can't foresee yourself doing that, then you may not have the capacity to love other's child and may have to reconsider adopting... If you can treat the adoptive just like your own fresh and blood, then go for it! In God's eyes, all child are like angels and he loves them equally, no more no less!!!

Actually it's not difficult to do so lah, how could one not love an innocent adorable baby! Personally it has been such an amazing experience, we'lll even die for our adopted child right now and we never regret having her in our lives!!!
 
Hi guess....it's me again
Well hubby and i are planning to do our hs. However i just got my med report back and got an abnormal for cholesterol...does any one see any problems with this if i submit my hs with this or do i need a normal? Thanks
 
totally agree with Jass. adoption is not a easy process. I wanted to adopt but I have problem with my mum-in-law. sign...
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Elizabeth: my hubby had traces of blood In his urine when we took the test. And his blood Pressue was taken on two visits as it was high on the first occasion. So we just submit the report accordingly. GP made the comment that Mcys should not fault us if it's common issues unless it's very severe medical condition n if we are deem unfit to adopt due to medical condition loh. Mental n critical medical issues I think may potentially affect Hsr but other than that I think they should clear.

Tub: don't be pressured to adopt because of your hubby. As its both your commitment to the child and it's a life long decision.
 
Hi eil.. Thanks for the reply... In this case, I had attended it last year..

Ladies.. For those that already completed their hsr, i want to ask where to go for the health screening?
Does it necessary to go imh for the mental check?
 
Hi ladies
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Been quite busy w life
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My lil son keeps me up & running, Can't believe I'm a 18 mth old mummy now...hehhehe

@jass
You don't need to go to IMH for the check. I think MCYS directly checks w IMH if you had been to IMH previously for any check-up or had any other issues.

As for other ladies, having cholestrol, will not affect ur HSR. I too have high cholestrol. This point will sure popup during the interview, Please answer the interviewer accordingly, about reducing the chol level.

Seriously, i don't know about getting police report. I haven't done it during my process.
Please chcek with your concerned agency, reg the validity of attending the workshops/ talks.

Good luck for all your HSR
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Hi I am new here... just attended my PAB last month.. now plan to register for the HSR... is anyone can recommend where to do the health screening? I try to call few clinics,but they either never do or never heard before...
 

Hi guys,
Can anyone help me with my Touch HSR cos I think they changed it.Now its on the aodption portal...MP would be great. Or is there anyone doing a Touch HRS maybe we can chat through it by email...thanks.
 
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