Child Adoption

Blesswbb,
I haven't started either to think about it. May be you can check fidgets at turf club where rehdeer celebrated her boy' s birthday. For my girl, I usually celebrate her birthday at mc donald but I guess will have to wait for another 2 years for our babies.

Iwantitvmuch
thanks in advance for sharing with us!
 


dear ladies,

thanks. however, knowing my parents, I got a feel they will still try to talk me out - to give up the idea of adopting.
Since our parents who aren't staying with us, will not be interviewed, I guess, perhaps, worse come to worse, I will strike then tell. =)

I look through the HSR, need to prove we dun have criminal records, how? also, where you ladies go for the medical checkup? what to check?
 
Ineedmiracle

I almost teared after reading your post. It's truly a miracle that your parents have accepted your decision. It was just a matter of time.

You will feel so much better and confident after attending all the workshops. It will be good if you can share with your parents all the information you have gleaned from the workshops and books (yes, do read books on adoption).

I am truly happy for you.

As for the HSR, I was told that SBL takes about 5 weeks. I don't know how far it is true but you can always check it out. My HSR with TOUCH took slightly more than 3 months.
 
miracle, when baby arrive, they will be mesmerise by baby and regret holding you back. hee hee. When I see my parents and in law fighting over looking after baby, I want to laugh. Seeing my in-laws dancing around baby is so funny. So, your parents are just trying to pre-empt you just for the worst scenario, doing what parents usually do. So, u can give them a chance to learn more. They will come round to the idea like you did.
For the criminal records, the service centre(eg Touch) will perform the check for you. There's a fee for them to pay, to retrieve the record. So, you just have to reimburse them. As for medical checkup, go to the GP you always go. They shld be able to do those checks. For medical check, the HSR should have a form for you to check the general well-being, blood test, etc.

forgotten to bring the birthday thing to the office to type it out. tonight tonight. I haven't planned anything. I think I will just copy one of your parties. hahaha. I always wanted a McDonald party when I was young. So, maybe I will have a McDonald party. hahahaha.
Yesterday, my mother in law said baby got no friends. I can't wait to show her baby's friends. So many here!! I think in future, they will be good friends.
 
Hi Ineedmiracle,
Welcome and I'm really happy that your dad and hubby greatly support your ideas of adopting.
When I saw your posts, it remind me back when I tried my IUI, IVFs and all sorts of chinese medicine....
After I failed my 1st IVF, I have the ideas of adopting a child, and being convincing my hubby and my mum.. till my 2nd IVF, they saw me suffered like hell and they finally agreed. I feel like tearing when I read your posts, the past came back...
But when my lil ones came I felt that I've made the right decision. My mum also keep asking me the bring her during the weekends, when she saw my lil one she keeps carrying and talking to her...
Looking forward to your good news soon.

Blesswbb,
McDonald party sound interesting, I also thot of having one when I'm young... So Fun!

Iwantitvmuch,
Yes, your mum-in-law will be surprise that your baby have so many friends since so young, haha...
Guess what, when they grown up they're good friends and go shopping and chit-chatting together.... ;)
 
ineedmiracle, hugs and welcome to this thread.
It is so wonderful to see your parents coming around and supporting you and your hubby decision.

I can relate to your feeling as it took me 1 year before taking the courage for adoption. The support from your hubby is important as it is a journey for both of you. Do attend the pre-adoption and disclosure workshop by Touch as adoptive parents shares their life stories and experience.

I am still waiting for my miracle. I look forward to hear good news and your miracle.

blesswbb, bb will be one year old so soon. They grow so fast.

iwantitvmuch, agree with sweet, ur mil will be happy and surprise to see your bb friends here.
 
iwantitvmuch, sweetcl05
its true that our child got many friends here...wonder who will be their best friends
happy.gif
...i'm so excited to plan for her birthday as she got so many friends to share.
Tot of McDonald too but seems too young for her leh...my hubby said just get buffet for the adults and some gift for the kids will be good enough as our girl is too young to have fun...hmmm...still hoping for some fun for adults and kids.
 
I know our kids will find comfort in each other here be good friends here(maybe, hopefullY_. BUT I think that they should also get used to the 'normal' environment and they shouldn't feel 'special' or 'odd' b'cos they were adopted. We must be careful about that. They should integrate with other kids and be able to tell that they are no different from other kids. Agree??

BlesswBB, I agree with you. if we have fanciful party, our 1 year old doesn't know what is happening. maybe only the kids of our friends who are 2 or 3 years old know what is happening.
But it is inevitable that you will invite some of the friends who hv older kids and you need to entertain them. So, tell your hubby, must still plan some entertainment.
 
Big hello to our new friends!

I just typed a long email to blesswbb and iwantitvmuch and ineedmiracle and now it's lost! argh! irritating.

ineedmiracle - so happy for you that your parents have come around. Your nick is appropriate - your first miracle has happened. Now to wait for your teeny weeny miracle
happy.gif
Like the other ladies said, attending the workshops is really useful to clarify doubts and get inspiration and encouragement. We are also here to give you advice/suggestions/experiences. The good thing about this forum is that many of us here have been down the same road so we understand each other well. I wish the 'older' forumers would come back to share as well - that would be fantastic.

blesswbb, doesn't it feel like just ytd that we were visiting Alice to meet our babies and today, 8mths on, we are planning for their first bday party! I wanna cry out of joy just thinking about it
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I also feel there's no need for a fancy big party cos she will be clueless about what's going on BUT I also don't want to not do anything cos it'll be nice for her to have some photos of her with her 1st bday cake for memories sake.

Anyone got suggestions as to where I can get a nice looking cake - either the 3d or fondant type cake.

iwantitvmuch, you took the words right outta my mouth. It's important that our children feel comfortable about their status and empowered to answer queries/jibes but they shouldnt feel different or odd. But yes, having friends who are adopted will definitely be good/important so that they can seek comfort amoung friends who will understand better.

I hope I don't lose this post again........
 
iwantitvmuch,
Yes i agree with u...normal environment is still a need and is good to hv these special friends to be around to give her comfort...when they grow up they need friends of the same kind to be able to listen and share their thoughts.

Yuli,
Oh yes...it seems like ytd and time really passed fast
happy.gif
din even have time to plan her birthday.
I saw those Disney cakes from Bangawan Solo...they look so nice and delicious...i planning to get one there.
 
Yuli,
it is good to have you back. Missed your posts!

Iwantitvmuch
I like bakers inn cake. Check their website. They have nice kids for cake. I ordered it for my elder girl!

Blesswbb and sweetcl
seems like all of us will have mc Donald parties when they grow up. It s really stress free for the parents!

Ladies
I hope our kids would grow up as friends too!
 
Sweetcl
where did you find all the websites? I love the last link you gave us. Have you tried their cakes? Seems like I need to organise his birthday party to buy such a nice cake. I am already feeling hungry looking at these beautiful cakes. Hope they taste as nice as they look!
 
Dream, i haven't tried yet cos in dec she didn't make. And need to pre-order in adv cos always full booked! Guess alot of orders.

Ladies, i got queries. Does ur lil one stools semi-liquid/ sometimes liquid type? Cos i noticed my dd's stool quite liquid type. Shld i change her milk powder? She's drinkg similac since w alice. Actually noticed she's not growing that big whenever after finished her milk she'll p.s, it's normal?
 
Sweet, the stools is about right. At her age, it's still very much liquid. Hello! I see that she's growing very well. Don't worry.
My mother in law was telling me that she saw a baby who is 7 months, drinking some 8 or 9 oz at Parkway. How eh?? I'm really confused too.

my baby has been sleeping really little during the day and waking up earlier at 6am instead of 730am. Why eh??
 
Iwantitvmuch,
Your dd also have liquid stools? Per day she P.S how many times?
Thanks. Hope that she can grow abit fatter cos she really quite tiny. You saw in FB, her face is chubby cos I zoomed it nearer and she got double chin that's the effect, haha...

Wow 8-9 oz, quite alot! How much your baby drinking now?

hmm... I also not sure what's the reason baby sleep lesser in the day times. My MIL said older they grow lesser sleep in the day.

My baby also sleep lesser in the day and during nite times she can sleep for quite longer hours... only wake up once.
If she drink milk at 10pm she woke up at 5/6am...
 
sweet, Have lah. My bb(why 'dd'??) got liquid stools. Nowadays only once. 3/4 times a week twice a day. But my MIL is introducing potty. Usually after feed, bb would PS soon. So, my MIL will get ready. And b'cos it's over the potty, it's not so liquid. You can see that it's more a long tube. Of course, if you have the diaper, it will be mashed up.
 
Hi Ladies,
I just checked the hearing list for tomorrow, and our Adoption petition has been approved. I am at loss of what to do, but at the same time feeling relieved.

Welcome to our new member, indeedmiracle. You have made the right decision. As always, we won't have everyone supporting the decision, but you get to know your true friends,and also family members. I am so glad that you are communicating with us. Regarding the HSR, can I give my two cents worth. Initially I was going to go with Tanjong Pagar. We filled up their forms, which was very hard to fill. Then decided to go with TOUCH upon reading this thread, and soughting advise from my sis -in-law. All I have to say is that no regrets. And I feel that the assessers are very very nice ladies.

Regardng birthday parties, I am also tempted to have one at MacDs more for myself, just to fulfil my childhood dream
happy.gif
. But we are going simple this year. Am planning on getting the cake from either Swensons or Bengawan Solo, and catering hi-tea. This is the plan for now:p. It might change over the month.

Sweetclo,
Why not try Nan? My bb drank Nan for the first 6 months.
 
iwantitvmuch,
Thanks for the link. I still can't decide whether to rent a place or just have it done at my own place. I may call my friend up who was a event organiser...see whether he can come out with anything special. If he can be crown and balloon creator on that day for free then will be good hehehe...

sweetcl05,
Does your girl always PS after every feed? If she does then u better change milk. I remember when my girl was like 2mth old she was still drinking Similac at that time she tend to PS at least 4 times a day and is like what u said kind of semi liquid. But she doesn't then try to conserve the stool whether is it grainy kind. My mum said bb is getting smarter when they have grainy stool.
 
dear ladies,

received the HSR from Tanjong.
I will probably opt for Touch or SBL Vision. In fact, I actually filled up both forms.

babylove80, been reading on Touch, and seems like the people there are nicer, maybe that why all went for them, hence long waiting time.

by the way, can I ask, what is Adoption petition?
Is it once approved, means we can start to look for babies? babylove80, how long did you wait for your HSR to be processed to get a interview, and how long for adoption petition to be approved?
 
we shld hv a macdonalds party for OURSELVES! a welcome to motherhood party!

Sweetclo, I was also told patisserie got nice n yummy cakes. Eh, wah, u all got program type, I think my dd bday will b sit down, chit chat, eat, cut cake, eat cake n go home! hahaha
 
Hi Ineedmiracle,
I hope I did not confuse you. The adoption petition is what you file after the HSR, and after you have identified your baby.

Here is the summarised process. I submitted my application in September'09.
submitting the HSR - Being called for the office interview - Being called for the home interview - after HSR is approved - identifying baby - clearing medical check-ups for baby - filing for dependent's pass thru MCYS - after dependent's pass is issued - filing of court documents etc through lawyer - 1st hearing date - MCYS home visit - receipt of MCYS affadavit - final court hearing.

Ladies,'
If I missed out anything, let me know.

Yuli,
I think that's a great idea!!!!! Shall we organise a meet-up at MacD's for our next next gathering:0. I think by then, most of the kids would be able to appreciate the ball pool etc. I am planning for bb a simple celebration at home with family and friends too. Not so grande as I initially planned, but it will be meaningful, as it would be nice to build some memories at home
happy.gif
.
 
Ineedmiracle,
legally it's after the dependent's pass is approved. but most of us fall in love too quickly, and take them home as soon as we can
happy.gif
.
 
blesswbb,
the agent allow?
I'm so excited hearing all the joys n funs you ladies having with the babies.
I wish to have the baby before the baby reach 1mth old. Can request anot??
 
ineedmiracle, better not have too many criterias! haha. It's not so important on the age of the baby. The younger the baby, the smaller she/he is. You might be afraid too when you first meet the baby. Older babies are chubbier and could be more adorable too. Alot of mothers are shock to see their newborns cos they are so small and thin.

SOmething I want to share after finding out from an agent that a new born Singaporean baby got adopted by an overseas couple again. I asked why??? I'm not sure if they need to do a HSR since baby is Singaporean. But that means one of us couldn't adopt a Singaporean baby. I understand that the bio mother wants to give up the baby to foreigners b'cos she wants to lessen the chances of meeting her babies. However, from what I understand, Singaporean always ask alot of questions of the background of the baby and mother. Hence, the agent didn't find it easy(maybe convenient) for a Signaporean couple to adopt.

Frankly, if I'm an agent, I will be more willing to hand a baby to someone who doesn't have any criterias than someone who has many or any criterias. It's quite annoying.

Please pardon me for speaking my mind.
 
iwantitvmuch,

actually i agreed with you. Too many criterias also difficult. Actually the only criteria we want is gender and before 1 month old. cos we wanna celebrate the child's 1st mth bday, and have all the birthday celebration with the child. But of cos, if really fall in love with the baby, then as long the baby is less than 3 months, we are fine with it.

mummies,
can i check...means upon submission of my HSR, all the necessary documents must be submitted together right?
 
Ineedmiracle,
It depend on some agent. Alice allow as long as u found the right bb. I brought my girl home before I went thru her medical check up. We fell in love on her on first sight so we just can't resist in bringing her home straight away.
It's best to submit all required documents together with HSR to avoid any delays. U might afraid that after u found yr bb HSR still pending for approval will cause lots of frustration.
 
Ineedmiracle,
I can see your excitement...keep it up, but don't forget to do things step by step. As Iwantitverymuch says, it can be quite challenging to see a newborn, as they can be smaller. But with lotsa love, and nourishment, you will see them blossom.
 
ineedmiracle, a friend told me yesterday that her friend called Lotus and Alice said there are alot of people waiting for babies. You might want to put your name with her first.

Girls, upon hearing that, I'm so thankful that I didn't had to wait for my precious to arrive.
happy.gif
) I must really count my blessings.

Yuli, I'm thinking about a second one now. hee hee.
 
iwantitvmuch - heh heh. I have many days when I think of adopting #2 but equally many days that deter me from adopting #2 haha! I recently looked back on photos of dd when she was 3-4 mths old and she was so sweet and still and infant-like. Now, she's everywhere and definitely not still and losing her babyness.....but to me, still sweet
happy.gif
 
looks like have to give alice a call, see hw long is the waiting time... We are not in a hurry, but will bound to be eager especially after hsr approved. Will arrange a checkup next week... Now feeling so excited. Yesterday make a list of tings to photocopy...

Oh yes, touch need a family photo of immediate family, means mine n his parents included?
 
Hi Ineedmiracle,
Yes...For mine, I included a photo of my parents, in-laws, bro-in-law & sis-in-law with their kids and my grandparents.

Yuli/Iwantitverymuch,
I am also considering. Just yesterday a friend asked me, why not a second one? But am so unsure. How?
 
mummies,
if my dh side no family photo hw?
His family rather big, so quite difficult to get altogether to take pic.

Anyone of u just submit one side of the family?
 
ineedmiracle - why not just check with the agency doing your HSR if you need to include photo of extended family? We live with our parents in their home so i submitted a pic of all of us and they also interviewed everyone who stayed under the same roof.
 
Iwantitvmuch/yuli/babylove
I have been thinking of #2 too but due to my dad we have to delay our plan. What I hate going thru is the HSR again. Urgh...
 
Hey ladies!!
Finally got my son's birth cert yest at the Immigration! Will await the citizenship which will come in abt 3 mths' time. then can apply for baby bonus
happy.gif
so happy! Next mth is my baby's 1 yr old bday. Haven't planned anything yet, Thx 4 giving me lotsa ideas. Think I will also cater some nice food for immediate family n order my favourite cake haha, most impt is to take nice pics to commemorate the event right?

babylove80
sounds like u will join me soon with your final court hearing YES!

ineedmiracle
As I didn't live with my parents or in-laws, we only submitted a photo of me n hubby, altho I did mention that my dad will help in the caregiving. TOUCH didn't ask for any other photo, but I arrgd for the SW to interview my dad n my helper, so it's ok. Altho I found my son at 5 mths old n didn't get to celeb the 1st few mths of his birth, I didn't have to go thru the hassle of managing a newborn n could proceed to do catch-up in terms of ensuring he achieves the necessary psycho-motor n emotional milestones. Gd n bad either way, but exciting nonetheless.

Blesswbb
Sorry but how is your dad now?

Yuli
I agree with u that our babies are no longer still like when they arrived, and have their hands all over the place now, but the fatigue is well-worth it and so satisfactory when we see them grow n progress by the day!! My dd will always remain sweet in my heart hehe. Btw the Mcdonalds party idea is really cool, i want lotsa strawberry milkshake
happy.gif
 
all mummies,
hearing all the fun you have with your darlings, I can't wait to have mine. TOUCH told me their waiting time to process HSR is about 4 months.
I guess now, whether TFSC or TOUCH or SBL, waiting time are long. but nonetheless, the excitement in the long run is worth it. =)
 
mummyportia,
You are officially baby's mother!! I'm getting mine on Monday! 3 mths for citizenship eh? So long. Therafter, can apply for passport immediately right??

Are they very strict with the documentations? Some of the doc which I printed from the IRAS and cpf website, they don't have original. We also didn't had time to get the latest employment letters.
 
Iwantitvmuch,
Ya they r very strict with the documents. Do u have the old employer letter which u submitted to TOUCH? That will do. As for IRAS and cpf statement don't have to be original.
 
Mommypotia,
My dad suffer from stroke a few mths back. he will be coming home soon and need 24hrs attention.
Actually citizenship will be collected in 1mth. 3mths is only estimated waiting time. I received my girl citizenship in 3weeks after applying for it. After her citizenship, request for BC extract then u be able to apply for baby bonus. If u intend to apply on the spot remember to bring along yr bank account statement.
 
hi ladies,
My girl fell off from my bed today. Feel so bad as i have been warn many times not to let her sleep on my bed. Normally she will make sound that she's awake but today she just quietly turning around the bed till she fell off. Lucky she didnt get any bump from the fall.
 
Blesswbb,
hugs to you. I know the feeling...my girl also fell down when she was young and I still can recall the episode. I am relief to hear your girl is ok. Just observe for a day. If no vomitting should be fine. Don't worry.
 


BlesswBB,
So how is your baby now? Is she behaving well today? Just keep monitoring her for 3 more days. Might want to check for bumps too. My boy fell off the bed when he was 7 mths old and was crying profusely the whole night. I remember feeling v guilty n angry with myself, but dared not tell hubby. Only prayed n prayed, thkfully baby is still ok, sound in mind n spirit at 11 mths. Nowadays I will put baby on mattress on the flr n only lets him on my bed if he is ill, just to play safe. Kp us posted ya.
 
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