Child Adoption

[sweetbaby]

hi All

I'm glad that there's a strong support group, it truly helps. I've read thru the sites and we'll go thru the books as janella suggested.

Hi Yuli
My oldest boy Luth had a flat head as well even when using the safe pillow. dont worry, it will normalise as they grow older, mayb cos their skull is still soft. Mayb you'll like to prop her on her belly (under supervision) for awhile in the day/during playtime.

can you pm me contacts for the shelters for unwed mums? Its def. an avenue we will like to pursue.

dream
i hope your boy is well now. I remember my first year with Luth, very stressful. Cant count the no. of PD visits.

 

[dream09]

Sweetbaby, Yuli
Thanks for your nice words. Was really worried and also felt very guilty over the week end. If we did not bring him out, he would have been ok. But I thought I could bring out since he was over 3 months! Otherwise, when I was at the PD, it was actually "scary" to see so many kids there. Seems like lots of kids are sick...may be virus are getting stronger...

Happy to hear your boy's head is ok now.


Yuli,
may be you want to check with your PD about it. Otherwise, just do like me. Force him to sleep on the side by putting a bolster between his legs. But it is very stressful as I wake up many times at night to check on him. Really afraid that he would end up on his stomache. And of course, he likes to shift back to his normal position. Otherwise, just do it in the day time.

Blesswbb,
Seems like the cream is working well but the smell is quite strong. Is that normal?

Crossing fingers for you that everything goes well.

Janella,
Well done for the packing! When is your new place ready? I hope it is not too stressful to stay with your parents.

Hope you get a call from Touch real soon...

Babylove,
Hope everything went well.

 

[janella]

Thank you ladies for your kind words. I haven't emailed TOUCH yet. I'm going to do it real soon.

Dream, its definitely not stressful staying with my parents.I'm enjoying the pampering. It would be stressful if I were staying with my in-laws! Ha!Ha!

BlessBB, don't worry! Keep your spirits up! It might be implantation bleeding.

 

[babylove80]

Hi Ladies,
Just finished the home interview! Guess what!!! SW says that once the report is out, I can bring bb home!!! I am so relieved, and happy, that I can finally bring my MIRACLE home.

I really want to thank you all for your support and kind words! Really appreciate it!

 

[sweetcl05]

Hi Ladies,
The baby girl will be coming to S'pore and I'll be able to see her on this weekends

I'm so excited! Hope I've bond with the baby...

Elle,
How's your trip? When will you be looking for baby? Will be you looking for Alice too?

Sweetbaby,
Sorry to hear about your youngest son, you must be very strong... Hugs!! And welcome to this thread.

Babylove,
Congrats! You'll be bringing your prince back soon. I'm so happy for you.

Iwantitvmuch,
Your girl is so cute!

 

[iwantitvmuch]

Thank you for your praises of baby.
babylove, so happppppy for you.

you might get the report this friday in draft or final copy next week.U can organise with the agent to bring him back! i say apply leave nx week!!

Insurance!!i've asked an agent to check and apparently can buy insurance for adoptive child!! I'm going to show my friend whatever legal document i have. Once it is confirm, I'll let you all know!!

 

[sweetcl05]

Hi Ladies,
want to check regarding the additional checkup for BB, what kind of check-up shld the bb go for? Eg. Heart, lungs, etc.... Any Hosp. to recommend? How much it cost? What are the additional cost we need to incur beside the agent cost.

Do we normally bring the BB back then go for checkup?

I'm quite confuse? The medical report frm Alice is local or overseas hosp. report?

 

[iwantitvmuch]

sweetcl05, we did a full check up. heart, skull, spinal, kidney and lung. not sure got ling anot but i remember scan for 5 organs. the cost about thousand plus . Any additional test on top of the basic, u have to pay. so, i paid abit more than thousand.i'm carrying baby now,so can't check.

check up first and then after result, then bring baby home. ask Alice to bring you to my baby cardiologist, at gleneagles. he's good.

beside checkup, no other cost except milk powder.haha.

Alice got no medical report mah. maybe from birth, then shld be overseas. she only receive baby from government hospital, so is reliable.

 

[iwantitvmuch]

no lung scan. cost $1071.

 

[babylove80]

Good Morning Ladies,
I am pinching myself, cannot believe that my prince will be back with us this weekend. SW told us that we can bring him home asap, and then apply for the dependent's pass. So we are planning for this weekend.

Sweetclo,
I am so excited for you. It is better not to have any expectations when you meet bb. Just let nature take it's course. Do tell us how it went. regarding checkup, I went to Gleneagles to see Dr Yip (Singapore Baby Clinic). My agent paid for the basic checkup. For the more detailed scans, we paid about $800.

Janella,
I think you are next. But do still check with TOUCH. Just pm me if you have any questions about the interview

.

 

[dream09]

Babylove,
CONGRATS! Really happy for you. Your dream is finally coming reality! So excited for you that bb will be home with you.

Sweetcl05,
I guess everybody is different. I also planned many tests before I saw my boy but at the end, only ended up doing 2 tests (as per my PD's advice). So, it is really up to you. Excited for you.

Iwantitvmuch,
I guess I need to go FB to see your girl. Will try to log in tonight.

Janella,
Glad you are enjoying being home and being pampered by your parents! Enjoy while it lasts!

 

[janella]

Dear Babylove, so so happy for you! Finally, your wait is going to be over!

SweetCl05, you too! I hope everything turns out well for you! Good luck!

 

[yuli]

Babylove, that is just FANTASTIC news! I am really happy for you. You can look forward to daily cuddles now!!!! How awesome is that?!

Sweetclo, I brought bb to Mt Alvernia for the scans. I can't remember how much I paid - I think it was about $700+. Alice should be able to advise you. I only remember I was traumatised by bb's crying/screaming when she had to draw blood........I felt so bad for her

All the best as you meet bb this weekend!

Wah, so many happening things this weekend! So exciting.

Sweetbaby, I am looking through my past emails etc and will let you know the details for the two shelters soon. Good to know bb's head may 'round' up later on.....

Dream, dd does sleep on her side during the day but on her back in the night. I am hoping to grow her hair out so that can cover the 'flatness' heh heh, and also to cover her ears which stick out a lil. Hope your boy is much much btr!

Blesswbb, I haven't heard anything from the lawyers or immigration yet. My final adoption hearing was on 13/11 and the ltr states that immigration will get back to us within 3 weeks to give us an appt date (only appt date hor, not collection of BC yet!). That means, I should receive a letter sometime this week since this is the 3rd week. Fingers crossed. From what I understand, Once immigration gives appt date, I'm assuming then I can go and get the new BC with her new name and our names as parents THEN comes application for citizenship then it'll be another BC to state her citizenship as Singaporean, only then can we get passport. In preparation, I brought dd to my friend's photo studio to take her passport photo last week. She had just woken up and was a lil stoned so her passport pic is really 'toot'!

Iwantitvmuch, great news re: insurance. Yes, I'm definitely interested to find out more once you have details.

 

[confuse]

dream,
the cream shouldnt smell so strong. Did u get the right cream?

Yuli,
Thanks...looks like i have to wait till next year for her to be finally ours....sigh....I just received letter from MCYS to say they have finalised in their investigation so probably have to wait another 2weeks for the final hearing.
I think i will just take a photo of her ourselves as i believe she will not stay still if bring her to studio....she's too active liao.

sweetcl05,
so excited! Going to meet your baby soon. Pls don expect any bond from the 1st meeting. It take times.
As for detail checkup, we only opt for the basic.

iwantitvmuch,
U sure abt it? I don think insurance company will allow that. I have checked a few insurance company but they asked me to wait til we are registered as her parents. U better check further.

babylove,
Congrats! Your boy is coming home...

Is this the 1st time u bring yr boy home? Cos if there's a change in new environment some baby will not be able to adapt...so u need to look out of any changes once he is home.

 

[sweetcl05]

Babylove,
Congrats!! So Happy for you, your boy will be coming back this weekend. Hurray!!

Iwantitvmuch, Babylove, Yuli, Blesswbaby,Dream,
Thanks for your info....
I'm looking forward to see the baby this weekend

 

[babylove80]

Hi Blesswbb,
Hope ur well, and thanks for ur wishes. I am keeping the change in mind, so will be bringing some familiar items which have the same 'smell' back with us, just in case if bb starts feeling 'homesick'.

Ladies,
I have sent u a message on FB regarding our meet-up. Could we finalise the plans there? Janella, I will be emailing you soon, once things are more or less settled.

Also, just wanted some advice. Currently I have a graco cot/playpen. But I want to get a cot for him. Any recommendations?

 

[dream09]

Blesswbb,
There's only one cream and it says it has no smell. So, I guess it is my boy's smell then. As he puts hand in its mouth and keeps touching his face, I think the smell of milk is absorbed in the cream! Will make sure that I clean his hands more frequently.

Yuli,
My boy is better now. He was having rashes yesterday but PD said it is due to the virus. Hope it clears by today...I feel that his neck is quite weak after his illness and I think he lost some weight too. Hope he can fully recover soon. I guess I'd better wait another week before his vaccination.

For girl, still can cover her "flat" head with long hair..but for boy, no such option! so, I must make sure his head becomes more round...otherwise, no girlfriend later!

Babylove,
Yes, bring along his favorite toys and may be even his bed sheet and pillow so that he can sleep better. But, I am sure he will be fine. Children adapt very fast and with all the love you and your hubby will shower him, I have no worries but can only be excited for you to have him with you!

Sorry, can't adise on cot. I have a playpen myself...

 

[yuli]

Babylove, I agree totally with Dream. With all the love & comfort that will surround him in his new home, I'm sure your lil prince will settle in really well! I use a cot with a drop down side that I bought from Baby Hyperstore at Kaki Bukit. It's one of those that can be turned into a toddler bed later on.

I called the lawyer's office earlier this morning to chk the status and just received a call to say our adoption order has been approved! NExt steps: Our appt at the immigration dept is nxt week. We will pick up her first BC and also put in our application for her citizenship. I was really disappointed to learn that immigration may take a couple of months (!) to approve her citizenship! I was under the impression it will take a few weeks.....sigh... so it looks like she may not get her passport till Feb next year. Argh. I was told by the lawyer's office to let immigration know that my husband is based in KL and hope they will expedite our application.....I really doubt that's gonna happen! Oh well.....at least I know we are now officially the proud parents of our little one!

 

[yuli]

Hi Sweetbaby,

I can't find the email address/contact person that I spoke with but these are the two shelters I approached. All the best as you start on this adoption journey

http://www.sanctuaryhouse.com.sg/home.html
http://www.marymountctr.org.sg/rose.htm

 

[dream09]

Yuli,
CONGRATS! Really happy for you. I am dreaming of this moment! Must be hard for you to be here while hubby in Malaysia. I hope you can settle her citizenship very quickly so that you can visit your hubby with bb soon. Immigration is usually very quick. Hope they can expedite your case.

Today is only thursday...this week seems to move very slowly!

 

[dream09]

Good morning LADIES!
What's happening? The thread is so quiet...TGIF!

 

[iwantitvmuch]

Yuli, I'm so confused by the legal adoption process but will take it one step of the time. But what you wrote has helped me to recall. Can you remember how long has it been since you started the legal adoption?
My baby is 10 weeks old and we only sign the papers at the lawyer's office on Monday. I hope it can complete before the baby turn 6 months old. Or else, the government will not fund one of the months of my leave.


babylove80, how old is baby now? How heavy?
I'm thinking if the cot is big enough. Ikea has but one side of the cot cannot be lowered. Do look out for one which can be lowered so that you can reach in and carry baby better.
I used Graco for baby in the beginning. After my friend insisted in lending me the cot and after I set it up, she seems to like it very much and slept through the night! I think cot gives very good support.
Alternatively, you can also lay a mattress on the floor. My niece and nephew grow up like that too. And they like the space.

Yuli, i've gave the legal papers to a friend to sign up for the insurance for me. I told her to go ahead if the papers are good enough. If it's possible, I will let you all know . This was what the legal office told me to do. They said they never heard that cannot buy and ask me to find out. That's how i decided to ask a girlfriend to help ask.


SweetCL05, seeing baby this weekend?? wow!

 

[yuli]

iwantitvmuch, 28 Aug was our first mtg/signing with lawyer. Followed by court hearing, MCYS home visit then final court hearing. So all in, that's about 3mths to get my final approved adoption order. Just met up with Alice to get my documents. She said the fastest ICA can approve citizenship is 1mth so earliest earliest I can get her citizenship and passport is only in January. There goes our plans to holiday in January.......

Sweetclo, thinking of you as you see baby this weekend.

Babylove, by the time you log in to check on this forum, baby may be home with you already!

Blesswbb, how are you? As for passport photo, I decided to go to my friend's studio cos my friend took her own pic and it was rejected by ICA and she had to retake - I didn't want the hassle. I guess if you follow their guidelines should be okay lah.

 

[sweetcl05]

Hi Ladies,

I just went to see the baby, she only 8 days frm birth. Me and hubby fall in love with her, she's so lovely... She woke up and smile with us... so cute!!... haha...
We'll arrange blood test next wk, hurray... hope everythings turn out well, we can bring her back next wkend!!

Elle,
Have you call Alice? Heard that today there's a lady called/sms her?
Heard frm Alice that this week alot of babies... 5 girls and 2 boys...

 

[sweetcl05]

I'm not sure is my baby under-weight? she's only 3kg... what's the weight of your babies?

Hi babylove,
There's a babycot quite big from mothercare (Name of cot: Boori Sleigh, it's 3-in-1 cot) but it's not tat cheap, you can go to somerset mothercare to view the cot, there's a display over there...

Hi Blesswbaby,
when will your IVF result? All the best! Hope to hear good news from you.

 

[confuse]

Yuli,
Thanks for the advise. We see how on the photos taking...if manage to get the right shot then can save the hassle.

Sweetcl05,
That's great! Baby soon in your arms...so excited for you. Don worry abt the weight...she's only 8days old and just recover from jaundice u cant expect her to gain weight so fast.
My girl is quite big size at birth (3.6kg) but she can't gain much weight at her age now. So don depend on the weight now try feed her till she grow fat fat....hehe
So will u have anyone to help u out with yr girl next week?
Hmmm....5 girls and 2 boys...Yuli...y not we call Alice to book the 2 boys (1 for each of us) hehe...

Ladies,
I failed again....i'm moving forward. I'm very happy and blessed that i still have my little girl with me. We hoping to adopt another 1 next year....hoping it will be a boy next

 

[iwantitvmuch]

BlesswBB, sorry to hear that the IVF didn't succeed. I know how you are feeling. Is it that kind of 'no high hopes but also very disappointed that it didn't succeed' kind of feeling? very suck one. I'm happy with my baby now and don't have to think abt 'trying' for a while. but if after 2 years, still doesn't happen, i think i will go crazy thinking abt infertility again. Hopefully, Alice's supply is still there and no change in regulations.

Sweetcl05, so happy for you that you love the baby!!!! 3 kg is not underweight as she's still young. I'm so excited for you! seeing u all with young babies, I'm thinking about how i missed out on my baby during her initial weeks as i only saw her at week 4. all the best in thee blood test. i'm sure you can bring her back next weekend! must update us hor. I'm sure u can't sleep already, from today's onwards. Congrats that you r going to be mother soon.

Wah, Alice got a lot of babies. think they are Valentine's babies. haha.

 

[babylove80]

Hi Ladies,

It was tiring emotionally and physically for bb and me yesterday. I think bb could feel all the emotions from her nanny and family. Over the months, he's managed to charm everyone, and they sayang him soooo much. I tried my best to remain calm for my bb, as tears were shed by the nanny etc. I bought bb to my grandparents place,as my grandad is unable to move due to his stroke. Without fail, my grandad would enquire abt bb, and he's been wanting to see bb for a very long time. So we decided to take him there first. For the first time, my boy displayed stranger anxiety.I have to say that the air in Singaporeis much different to the one in Malaysia. He cried, but thank God, I was no stranger to him, and the months of weekends spent in JB with him while he was there paid off. I was able to calm him down. I realise that he panicked if someone he did not know, came towards him. So I just walked around the house, letting him familiarise with the environment, and also the objects (including humans) there. It worked!!!! So this is my tip to you, when you take your older infant out to a party, tell your friends to give bb time to adjust to environment. But I was pleasantly surprised when he smiled and went straight to my helper. She carried him, talked to him. And I was THANKFUL as anything. I have taken off the next week, but will be on half days for the rest of DEC. I plan to appeal for the 1 mth adoption leave. Thanks for the recommendations on cot. We were contemplating the options of mattresses, cots and graco. My hubby and I saw a cot in Babyhyperstore that we liked. We might just get the one from there. Mattress would have been ideal and safe, but we have a very curious cat!

Iwantitverymuch,
You can apply for the adoption leave now itself as you aleady have your HSR, as you have the dependent's pass right? This is infor I extracted from eCitizen
'The adoptive mother can apply for adoption leave when she is issued with a Dependant’s Pass by MCYS.

'The adoptive parents would have to obtain Singapore citizenship for the child within 6 months of the Adoption Order being granted.' http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/ProFamilyLeaveScheme/GovernmentPaidAdoptionLeave/

Do check it out.

Sweetclo,
I am so happy that you and ur hubby fell in love her. She must have won ur hearts with her beautiful smile hey. As for wt, I think it's normal for a baby who is up for adoption to be about that wt range. Normal wt is 3.5kg, mine was 3 kg at birth. They will 'catchup' their growth with our nurturing.

Blesswbb,
I am sorry to hear about your IVF. But I am proud of you for braving it one more time. At least now, you can grief completely and move on to adopt your 2nd bundle. You know you can use your current HSR right? It's valid for 1 year.

 

[sweetcl05]

Blesswbb,
I'm sorry to hear about the result of your IVF. We all have went through these and I knew about your feeling... Hugs!!

Hi Ladies,
I can't sleep yesterday, think I'm too excited. My mind keep thinking of her....

Blesswbb, she's not the bb girl that Alice has mentioned got jaundice. That bb girl is much older. Alice didn't bring her cos her parents still considering whether to give her up.

Alice brought back another girl but she has slight jaundice now, therefore, Alice suggested to wait till she's 2 weeks and hope by then jaundice recover then we can bring her for bloodtest.
Hmm... I was puzzle with this, saw bb's thumbs, there're black shadow on middle of her nails... not sure it's natural for all babies? cos I heard that if fingernails there're black shadow, meaning the heart got problem. Think I'll ask Dr about this when I bring her for blood test.

Blesswbb and Yuli,
I'm sorry, heard that the 2 babies boys already being reserved by someone...so fast,....

Babylove,
It's good that your prince got adapted to the new environment and people now. Cheers! so happy for you....

 

[ellebaby]

gm!

blessbb, big hugs to you. Sorry to hear about your IVF. I am with you. Glad you have move forward. May you have your wish soon.

Babylove, your prince is home at last. So happy for you and it is great your boy is quick to adapt to SG.
He is a strong boy.

Sweetcl, wow ! first touch with your bb girl. I am so happy with you and dancing with you.
I can imagine you can't sleep and thinking of her.
Yes, I called Alice but she is busy with 2 cases. I think one is yours.
We did not talk in detail except I mention I would like a girl. She says she will talk to me after the 2 cases.
Aiya, she did not take my details leh. So I am praying she will remember me or I will call here next week.

I also called joyful. He mentioned he has one case on hand will call me after that.

So now I wait. I have not started on my bb shopping as I don't know where to start.
I am glad to hear Alice has 5 girls so I am hoping Alice will call me soon. I am feeling anxious.

Sigh, jus saw one colleague is preggy yesterday and I still feel tat bang of pain that I cannot. A bit moody.

So strange to have this feeling esp. when I am adopting.

 

[sweetbaby]

hi all
I read that most of you are contacting Alice? Is she from touch or Lotus? Is Touch an agency, which countries they adopt from? Anyone adopt babies from Singapore/Malaysia?

we have decided to adopt but confuse what to do. Do I call or go to the agency? What do you discuss at the first meeting at the agency?

Hi yuli
Thx, will check them out.

 

[sweetcl05]

Hi sweetbaby,

Alice is from Lotus Agency. We've adopted from Malaysia. What I knew that if we were to adopt local babies, it'll take very long queue.

Are you Singaporean? If you want to adopt baby from M'sia or other countries, you need to have a HSR Report. YOu can go to touch website to download the forms.

If you got the HSR Report, you can call the agency to look for baby.

FYI, Touch normally deals with china babies only.

 

[iwantitvmuch]

babylove, I'm on my 2 mths adoption leave already.

but still finishing some work from home.
You don't be so busy with us. Better spend more time with your prince.

Elle, once you get your girl. I'll give you a sling from Pupsik. I have 2 identical sling from 2 friends! Don't worry, Alice will know. I will remind her when I talk to her. You go by Elle hor? It's normal to still feel disappointed lah. But it gets better when you are a parent yourself soon. I still feel disappointed but am happier now. Because I love bb like my own, just like I have gave birth to her!

She's so lovely. and alot of friends will support you and you will feel very loved and lucky to have true friends.

Sweetcl05, what does it mean by black shadows?? You can ask Alice anything. She won't be offended one. but thumb and heart, don't think there's any link.

 

[confuse]

sweetbaby,
U can check with Alice whether she has any local baby available...if u interested she will look out for u.
I remember she mentioned a local baby to me once and i did post a msg asking whether anyone interested. U can try calling her.

Sweetcl05,
Yes...iwantitvmuch is right...u should ask Alice...she will answer yr doubt...she always make sure that baby is healthy before handling baby to us.

Ladies,
Thanks...i'm glad i have you ladies here...
iwantitvmuch, that's how i feel...high hope and end up fail...went thru the crying again...lucky this is my last and final...those mental and physical stress shall end here.

 

[sweetbaby]

sweetclo5
I'm Singaporean. I was thinking of adopting from spore or Malaysia.

BlesswBB
Thx, I'll def contact Alice asap.

Hi all
I've read on several sites that applicants must be 35 yrs old. And that if you have a natural child of your own, you must provide doc that you cant conceive. Must these 2 rules be strictly followed by all? thx

 

[dkristen]

Hi all
I am new to the adoption thread n am so glad that u ladies have kept it alive. This thread has been my support over the last few weeks as I struggle with my decision to adopt.

We have an adopted child and she's turning three. We wanted to give her a family and am planning to hv a 2nd one. However when we raised it with our patents and in laws, they are not keen, citing it's tough to raise a kid. I am jus getting to relax now that my child is older, why give myself more work.

I know that it will be tough especially the 1st 2 years. I am exploring infant care cos am not counting on them to take care of my 2nd one.

My 1st one has won our hearts and I m also worried if the 2nd one is not healthy, how can I cope? Will people say that I asked for it?

I am so troubled and have been praying to see if this desire is of God. For I kno if it's His will, he will see me through.

Just hoping to get some feedback from you ladies.

 

[babylove80]

Hi dkristen,

I am so glad that we have managed to provide some form of support for you. When I was in the process of filing my papers, I was welcomed by this group with open arms.

The concerns you bring up are very real. During the office interview, the Assessor asked, what if the child has an illness later etc. We answered, if we have our own biological child, and he/she fell ill, we would continue to nuture and care for the child, likewise, when we decided to adopt a child, we will treat this child no different.

I think adoption is a very personal decision, and of course the support from family is vital, but it is still a personal decision. My dad was very much against it as he saw how his relatives had suffered when their adopted children became older. However, I pointed out to him, that the problem started because the parents did not disclose to their children earlier. Now, he loves my little one so much, that he used to go to M'sia to visit him every 2 days.

We plan to have a second one too, so that my son will have a sibling to turn to later in life. I am sure that our parents and in-laws might have their own views, but in our mind, what matters is our son.

I hope this makes sense, and perhaps helps you. Do keep in touch with us.

 

[janella]

Dkristen, welcome to this thread! You'll find that the ladies here are very supportive. Although, I'm still waiting for a baby, it's difficult not to be inspired by what the ladies are sharing here!

I'm not afraid to say this. But my husband and I have already discussed that if the baby has some medical problems, we may not adopt him or her.It may seem cruel but we are worried that we may not have the financial resources. However, if the baby is healthy, anything can happen later. Then we will deal with it. I do not know whether I'm doing the right but I let God guide me.

The important thing is to have peace of mind, confidence and a supportive group. I'm sure, like you said, God will see you through.

BlessBB, hugs! I don't know what to say but I'm so glad that you are moving forward! And you have a second baby to look forward to!

Babylove, I actually teared when I learned that you are finally with your baby! I can understand how emotional it must have been for you all. You must be very very busy now!

Elle, I can truly empathise! Whenever, I see a pregnant woman, I have to force my tears back! However, take comfort in ivantitvmuch's words. I think Yuli too said something similar earlier.

Once we hold our babies in our arms, spend time nurturing them and so on, we'll forget that we had not actually given birth to them. It takes time, but we'll get there!

Sweetbaby, do call Lotus and make an appointment with Alice. She'll answer all your questions! Or if you can, attend TOUCH's Pre -Adoption workshop. It should be useful as well!

 

[dream09]

Blesswbb,
Hugs. It is never easy to go through the physical and emotional stress but the positive thing about it is that you can put a closure on it and move forward. I think most of us have experienced what you are going through and we all know it is not easy. What is important now is that you have your beautiful daughter and the plan for a second one really sounds great!

Babylove,
Like Janella, I felt so happy and touched to read your post. It is like another chapter is opening up and you now can truly enjoy motherhood. Hope bb had a good night sleep last night. I guess you can't stop cuddling and kissing him!

Sweetcl05,
Really glad to read that the girl has touched your heart. It was the same for my boy. I just fell in love the moment I lay eyes on him. I am sure it is hard for you to wait for the medical test. When is the medical test scheduled? How high is her jaundice? They can do BT to determine the jaundice level.

Elle,
Your turn will come soon but I can understand your anxiety. The wait to "match" was certainly the most anxious time for me. Every day seems like an eternity.

iwantitvmuch,
I guess you are enjoying your 2 month leave! I am on leave now as well, clearing my block leave. It feels so good to wake up without worrying about work! I am sure I could get used to it!

Yuli,
I hope the immigration can clear your case quickly. I guess you would need to plan a holiday after CNY to be on the safe side. But it is already great that you are so far ahead in the adoption process.

Sweetbaby,
Please call MCYS, Touch or Alice. They can provide you lots of information on where to start.

Diane,
Welcome to the thread. I understand your concerns and share babylove views.

I am not sure whether you have read past thread but I have a 8-year old daughter and just adopted my little boy 3 months ago. You can imagine that we have to start all over again! and my inlaws also shared your inlaws and parents views. But, at the end of the day, it is OUR life and OUR decision and I did not want to live with regrets. I think your parents/in-laws will accept your decision sooner or later. But it is true that it is life changing to have another little one at home, especially for us since our elder daughter is already 8 years old. We are now home bound and I can't wait for the day we can have a family holiday!

If you are working, you can check with your company whether they will grant adoption leave. I think most of them will provide 1 month and if you work for MNC, you may be entitled to more..like iwantitvmuch who is enjoying 2 months leave. Infant care starts at 2 months old.

Good luck on your decision.

Janella
Have you contacted Touch? Now that your packing is over, it must be difficult for you to pass time or you are enjoying Christmas shopping?

Can't wait to read your progress and updates here.

I hope I have not forgotten anybody!

 

[janella]

Hi Dream! I'm still bumming around at my mum's place. I'm actually dead bored! I did email TOUCH but the officer is on leave until today I think!

I sure hope that I'll get a reply this week! Glad to know that you are on leave. Make the most of it! I kind of miss working though! Ha! Ha!

 

[dkristen]

Hi ladies, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree that this is a personal decision but sometimes when I look at the 'oppositions', it does make me doubtful and worried. I know that I have to give up my holidays and even cut down on expenses so as to provide for no. 2. But I am willing to go thru all that plus the hard wk so that my no. 1 has a sibling. I think it will be very sad n lonely if she has no family when we are gone.

Dream, how do you cope with 2 kids? How did u prepare your no. 1 for the baby?

I have submitted my hsr, on one hand I can't wait for the baby. On the other hand, my unsupprtive parents and in laws make me sad and uncertain.

Sori, if I dun make sense.

 

[ellebaby]

Thank you. Yup, telling myself be strong.

iwantivmuch - Enjoy ur 2 months leave and bonding with bb !
Actually alice did not ask for my name leh. I call last wed (i think). Tat's y i m so anxious as alice did not take my name

Alamak, I should hv mention u or sweetcl names lah. Yes, pls help me remind her abt me. Thx u so much and also for the sling.

Sweetcl - how's the medical chkup of bb ? When will you be bring bb home ? Can't wait to her from you.

sweetbaby - read the Touch website to get you started. That's where I start. For local baby, I recall Touch and Alice mentioned local baby are hard to come by. hmm..I don't recall providing doc that i cannot conceive. I mentioned my failed IVFs in the HSR only.

janella - mayb ur SW is the same as mine. She says she will be on leave from end nov till early Dec. She is really nice. You will hear from TOUCH soon. Rest now lah, we will miss our beauty sleep when BB comes home to us. Will you have your home interview at ur mum's place ?

Welcome Diane. I share the same thoughts as Janella and Dream. It is not easy when our parents/in laws do not share your views. The decision to adopt is our decision. We make a committed decision when we take the first step to doing the HSR. Hence, take comfort whenever decision you take you don't regret. This forum is my constant source of strength. We all go through the roller-coaster. For me, lately my mum is expressing some fickle feeling abt my adoption plan. This is becos of seeing one relative's adoption son who is in the rebelling phase. I told her she is only seeing one bad example and in fact, bio son can also rebel. Then she say ya lor. hahaha..

 

[dream09]

Janella,
I am on leave today but when my daughter is throwing tantrum, I wish I could be in the office! I guess we are hard to please!

Diane,
I understand how you feel. Excited that you will complete your family but dreadful on the other hand as you may not get the full support. Don't worry. It is normal. It is really another big step and a life changing experience. It comes with lots of sacrifice and anxiety but I just wished I did it earlier! I think your timing is perfect! It is a good age gap.

My daughter is really happy to have a sibling although she can be jealous at times...she was the ONLY princess for 8 years so it is taking her some time to get adjusted. She had been asking for a sibling so it was pretty easy to prepare her. About the adoption, we read to her some stories and explained it to her that we will adopt. She did not ask much questions. She was just too happy to have a sibling.

Otherwise, it can be challenging at times with 2 kids, especially when the elder had exams. But, somehow, we survived!

Anyway, congrats on having submitted your HSR! It is exciting and don't worry, things will settle on their own. Most likely, your in laws and parents will fall in love when they see your new little bundle of joy.

 

[yuli]

Hi everyone,

I'm highly irritated. I just typed this long post and then deleted it by mistake! argh! No time to post much now - gotta get back to work but just wanted to shout a HELLO to Diane! Hope your parent/inlaws come round to your decision soon and good on you for your decision!

Babylove, super happy and glad your ds adjusted and is settling in well!

Sweetclo - big hugs to you. So happy you've met your dd!

Blesswbb, sorry it didn't work out. I know how yucky it is. I'm glad dd is there to cheer you up

 

[sweetcl05]

Hi,
Tentatively we've arrange the bld test on this thursday, have to depend on bb whether is there any jaundice...

Elle,
I've mentioned to Alice abt you last week. Don't worried if ALice didn't call you, you can call her again. We usually we called her, think she's quite busy cos few times we called her,she's in M'sia.

I do have the same feeling as yours, when I heard my cousin/friends got pregnant, I felt sad... but we must always think in positive way. Your turn will be coming soon... when i saw my bb girl, I been thinking of her now and then... hope that everything went well so I'm able to bring her back v soon.

 

[dkristen]

Thanks so much ladies for all your sharing and encouragment. I have been feeling confused and lost for the past weeks. So glad that I finally shared with you all cos' not everyone can understand what we are going through.

Elle, when I first brought my dd home, my parents only came for a short visit. It was only when she's about 3 months plus that they took to her. Now they simply adores her.

Dream, glad that you took the step to complete your family and am enjoying a new phase of parenthood. I am indeed excited.

Am feeling a lot better, thanks so much for all your support!

 

[dkristen]

Sweetcl05, just some thots on jaundice. My girl was only 10days old when she came. She had jaundice and the nanny said to just sun her. However , when we took her for medical exam, the pd actually put her on bilibed. We rented the bed for a couple of days. We were very excited with her so took her for ME quite quickly.

 

[iwantitvmuch]

Diane, glad to know u. Glad that the ladies have answered your doubts. For me, go with your gut feel. Don't hover here and there. Then, u will never be happy. Do it for yourself and your family. I'm sure you have alot of supportive friends. We can be your supportive friends here.

BlesswBB, I hope you felt much better after crying(after -ve result). It's a sickening feeling but praise God in every situation. Just give it to God and let him comfort you. Ask him when we are in heaven why we can't get pregnant. Maybe he will say, 'because you never RELAX' ! haha
Insurance, confirm can liao!! I don't want to advertise for the insurer here. I'll write u message in FB. will message to all in FB.

sweetbaby, no need to be above 35 and no need to produce documents on cannot conceive.

Janella, i like you being so frank. Sometimes, we may not be strong enough to bring up an unhealthy baby. It's understandable that we can adopt a sick child. Like you say, if baby does fall sick after that, then there's no choice. But i'm sure our parental love will give us the strength to take care of him/her.

Dream, u on leave too eh? I still got some work to finish. xian eh.

Yuli, u very funny! I understand, our message is getting longer and longer b'cos we try to answer each other question. don't worry, we know you have out thoughts in mind. u haven't post pic of your girl lately. i want to see her pretty face!

Elle, sms Alice to ask to meet her. I'm thinking when she sees you and your husband, she will keep a lookout and 'match' you with a baby according to how you are. Alice is very experience and has her instinct.

Actually, I very blessed leh. I didn't wait for baby. Baby waited for me. hee hee.

Ladies, I'm going away for a week on Sunday, for a cousin's wedding. very far, so must go for a week. w/o baby, of course. Couple time with hubby as I've been neglecting him due to baby.
You all don't forget me hor.

 

[janella]

Dkristen, glad that you are feeling better. Stay on in this thread, ok? You'll get a lot of support here!

Just to share with you all! My family is very supportive of our adoption plans. However, except for a trusted brother, my husband has not mentioned anything about our adoption plans to his family. Only when we bring the baby home, will we let them know.

I've had several issues with my in-laws and I know they will gossip behind my back. But do I really care? No!

I agree with Babylove. Though it is important to have a supportive family, more importantly, it is between a husband and his wife. The couple should be supportive of each other and be comfortable with whatever decision taken. We can work around the family later.

Elle, I think Alice Ho from TOUCH (who used to repsond to my queries)is on maternity leave. She seemed heavily pregnant at the Disclosure workshop.The person who responded this time is another lady by the name of Vivien from admin who happended to be on leave. Her leave ends today. I sure hope she will respond soon.

We are hoping to move to our new place on the 18th of this month. I pray that at least the interview will be over because we are off to Malaysia on the 24th and only returning on the 2nd of January.

 

[dkristen]

Hi ladies, thanks for your support. Glad to find someone who understands in this thread.

I think I am like janella... still waiting for the interview.