Child Adoption

@babydust2
most of us are planning/have already adopted our family pride from Ms.Alice of Lotus Adoption Agency. there's also other agencies like ministry of international adoption, goodwill adoption, or you could check for other adoption agencies from the yellow pages. Don't worry, u could also move on w adoption after IVF failures like me...


Hey folks

I'm back @ home after a loooong vacation. I'm yet to contact my embassy for my letter of assurance. Fingers crossed, I'm gonna meet the officer tomorrow.

Just wanna check with moms who have recently done the medical check for the new baby before adoption:
1. Can we do the check up for baby with our family GP or do we need to do it only with the doc agency/MCYS prescribes?
2. Do they screen for AIDS during the initial medical check up?

thanks again
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mrs chou, hope your day back at work went well enough... i'm sure you missed your little angel so much - iwantitverymuch is right; one's gotta do what one's gotta do. you are showing her part of what life's about too
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googlebaby, great that you've explained yourself.

babydust2 - have you started on your HSR? perhaps you can ask to be referred to some credible agencies and yes, mrs ha is right, there are a lot of families who adopted through Alice/Lotus and all had good experiences.

mrs ha - welcome back! i had my baby checked by Dr Terence Tan of Kinder Clinic, Mt Alvernia. Aids test is optional but if you don't know enough of family background then it might be for your peace of mind. Get agent to ask birthfamily for as much medical history as you can.

percy - CONGRATULATIONS!!! enjoy every moment of it!

have a great week ahead, everyone!
 
Hey vickysmommy

thanks
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Also wanna check...Is there any classes in singapore,where I can learn about baby handling stuffs (something like what they teach in pre-pregnancy class for handling the baby)?
 
@vickysmommy,iwantitverymuch, thanks pal, for the word of assurance and encouragement indeed we gotta todo what we got todo, and I will always rem what iwantitverymuch says "earn as much as possible, save as much as possible" for myself and my little angel and our family.

@baby dust, the HSR agency / assessor u did yr HSR report w may also be able to give u some good references, my assessor give me some good tips to help me source for a reliable agency ;)

@Mrs Ha, I don't know if u mind it is a religious one, I just attended one which is v suitable for to- be parents, it is base on the Ezzo method, mainly covering how to handle a new born in the 1st six months, One of the mummy here I think is nicole recommended me his book too, if u want to know more u can PM me ;)

@die, same old naggy advise from "auntie" Chou here, rest well, sleep well cos u r right u will become a mummy very soon once HSR is done ! I am sure God has already your baby prepared for hubby and u ! For hubby and myself we actually do a daily prayer for good health for blessing and for protection way before we meet our child. No matter which faith u r in, it is a nice thing and it kind of keep your heart still as it did exactly that for us, and when we met our child it feel amazing we have been keeping her in prayers !

****************************************************************

PS : I won't spend a single second anymore handling someone I don't trust, well again is just being me....
 
Hey folks
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I'm back to Square1. My embassy is nt ready to give the letter of assurance as per MCYS format/requirement. Fingers crossed..they've agreed for a letter, but with a hint that it won't be as complete as MCYS expects.. I'm getting v seriously depressed because of that. We went to India to check on adopting from there & legalising there, but unfortunately,some of the agencies are demanding more $ for ur family pride more than the local adoption agencies & the legalising process does take a lot of time( couple of years) before you can bring in ur baby here. B'cos of all these problems I'm even thinking of dropping the idea of adoption. I think having a baby in my arms is not for me
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Sorry, I'm not discouraging people who have just started. Its not the process that's making me feel so bad, I believe its coming back to SQ1 even after couple of months in the Q....is very bothering.

I feel @ home when I read the forum & love the people as my family for keeping the +ve vibe in ppl who r going thro this.

@lyn,@ravennna4ever
Can I also come down to ION orchard to meet u folks? I don't have a baby...I haven't gone thro the interviews...Am I eligible to come?

@angelmummy
Got ur PM. Thanks
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We'll call them to check reg the next mth schedule & do it accl'y.

catch u all later
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Hi ladies, I was wondering if you're open to another meet up location? I went pass it yesterday. It's at Paragon, it's quiet and very condusive for babies, mums, chats and prams. It's on the 5th floor, Caffe Beviamo... good coffee and cakes! Otherwise Starbucks at ION fine too
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Mrs Chou,

Thanks for ur advice n encouragement. Ok i will try to sleep super well while i still can! hahaha I told my hubby the same thing

Mrs ha,
I am so sorry to hear that. Im sure there must be a way out. Vickysmom, any advice for mrs ha? Anyone? Any suggestion/avenues to explore?
 
I'm fine too.

Date: 25th November 2010
Time: 4pm
Venue: Caffe Beviamo @ Orchard Paragon
All those who wish to join please add your name to this list. Babies are very welcome!!

1. Rameena + baby
2. Lyn
3. Elizabeth
4. Percy
5. Mrs HA

Ladies how are we to identify ach other? How about we wear clothes of a common colour?
 
Hi Ladies

Having experienced parenthood with my own biological 4 yr old son, my husband and I have been wanting to have another child. In fact my son has been asking for a 'Mei Mei' (Sister) too.

We went through, several rounds of IUI and even IVF but all failed. Closing to 40, we have decided to move on to adoption. Reading the advice and threads here have been really helpful.

Just my 2 cents worth after reading in one of the threads recommending Gary Ezzo's method of parenting....I personally find it rather inhuman as one of my relatives practices his method to their child. IF you are looking at reading about his method, do google more about it and you will discover how bad it can be. I was disgusted. So new mommies, go by your instincts. There are alot more useful literature by experts out there than Gary Ezzo who is not even a qualified child expert.
 
@rameena

Wearing a common colour dress is a very good idea.

To identify me..its very easy...u see a 'S' size dino walking into the cafe, it'll be me
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Hey folks,

I'm very much excited to meet them...y don't everyone comedown to meet & chat
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share all stuffs, expand ur friends network....

Well!! I'm going to my embassy to get the letter. Praying MCYS will accept it.

catch u soon
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mrs ha, there's a shop in Tanglin Mall, can't seem to find the directory of shops online now, but it's on the 4th floor (where all the kiddy shops are) that coaches on breastfeeding, etc... I learnt how to bathe, feed, handle my first born by crashing the post natal class in Gleneagles where she was born. : ) recalling about it makes me smile cos I was the 'sexiest' mommy there who was in jeans and walking with a bounce vs the moms there who were still waddling and a post baby paunch. haha! cheap thrill, i know!

i believe there is a baby for everyone, we just don't know when and from where and who yet. it is the waiting that is insufferable, i know, so mrs ha, don't give up hope. i don't know how long have you tried to conceive; put it into perspective of the time vs now... surely, it's only a fraction, right? ; )

Thurs are the days #1 goes for Berries at 5 pm so as much as I would love to join you at Cafe Beviamo, I'll have to sit out of this one. I'm sure you'll have a great time tho! : )
 
@Vickysmommy is this the one u mentioned ? http://www.motherandchild.com.sg/postnatal/postnatal_main.htm ?
@lyn u r right, every time I meet Andrea, she always have some good advise for me ;)
@mrs ha, will keep u in prayers for the letter from Embassy to be done well for MCYS approval, I know 2 non-local couples who need to do the same too to be able to proceed w their adoption process, today they are proud parents of one and three kiddos respectively ;) and u so funny to call yourself a "s" size Dino, if I join u ladies, I will ask u to look out for a "XL" size one lol...
 
@mrs Chou: yes!! Mother & Child is it! Tks for searching! They spoke abt teaching adoptive moms to put on a feeding device which mimics breastfeeding for bonding purpose. I think attending post natal classes r gd but for this type, no need la ;) bonding will happen as u care for baby's daily needs: bathing, feeding, diaper change... Right, moms? Anyway, if u can't find such a class, just call on me or anyone of us. On-the-job training makes us experts!

Mrs ha & Chou, u r both so sweet. It's only because I've a 5yo n I'm just a little ahead of processing the thoughts u will go through eventually. You'll see!

@Percy, how r u coping? I think u shd consider a helper who can be another pair of hands to help yr mom n allow u to
Work. Otherwise, all will feel the fatigue.

Hv a great weekend, all!!
 
Hi Andrea, I'm coping well. Hubby's been off last 2 over weeks but back to work Monday and my mum takes over. I've got a cleaner who comes in twice a week so that helps. Little girl has been really good so far - sleeping and feeding well, and quite on routine (fingers crossed). She's starting to check out people and surrounding, started tummy time too. But I must say, she's getting louder and stronger!

Really looking forward to meeting you all next Thursday. Not sure if I've got green.. I'll have a look. Otherwise, I'll be using a maxi cosi (brown).

A friend of mine who's just had a baby 2 months ago may join us. Is this ok?
 
Hi Andrea the only support I m in is this thread..

Hi Percy I also doubt I hv green dress.... Hm.... I think I see ladies with baby I shld more or less know right? We will finalized how to recognize each other one or two days before? Ladies including me will be happy if u frd is joining too
 
lyn, you might want to check out support groups in Touch (Tafnet) or Fei Yue. They both are constructive and have expert guest speakers to share on topics such as disclosure, parenting, attachment, etc. I've been attending these talks for the past 4 odd yrs and everyone of them is enriching. check out their websites and let me know if you need more info.
 
Hi ladies

After a looong wait for the letter from our embassy, we finally got it
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. We've forwarded it to MCYS & Touch for the approval. Hopefully it gets through this time.

I'm not able to concentrate on anything else.I just feel like there's a vaccum in my life
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. I'm happy that my hubby is very supportive of my feelings.

@mrschou
Thanks for ur prayers
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@lyn
please don't worry..u r in a very supportive family group
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@vickysmommy
thanks
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. I'm waiting for an opportunity to meet u soon.
 
Mrs ha, congrats! So it's means that u r eligible to adopt already? Sorry abt my lack of knowledge in the adoption procedure....
 
@percy

Thanks for the wishes
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@lyn
Thanks for the wishes
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. There's nothing to apologise.

My story goes like this.....Since we're not singaporeans (not citizens), we've the option to legalise the adoption process either in our home country or in singapore. Due to the delay in the legalising process in our home country, we've decided to do the legalising work, out of singapore....as the baby is gonna be from Malaysia.

Since the baby will be a citizen of Malaysia,our emabssy must recognise the baby & grant my home country's citizenship for the baby in Singapore. The letter is some kind of assurance letter from the embassy that they'll grant the citizenship to the baby.

There's still a long wait for me to be ready to welcome my baby
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Hi Lyn,

Becoming vickysmommy www secretary willingly lol ;P

Here you go
TAFNET
http://adoption.tcs.org.sg/services_TAFNET.html
Beside the frequent workshops held for parents and kiddos. You and Family will be assign to a group which hold smaller home meetings.

Fei Yue have not started any website for C.A.P cause the group has just formed but you can contact them @6566 9830 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              6566 9830      end_of_the_skype_highlighting to check the registration. Fei Yue C.A.P group meet once a month usually 1st Sat of the month either at their Tiong Bahru office or their Choa Chu Kang center.
 
@die

Do u mean, after the HSR is finalised & MCYS has issued the report, I need to wait for a loooong time
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? How long was ur waiting time?
 
mrs ha,

no dear, i meant why do you still need a long wait now that u got your letter? have you gone through the interviews yet?
 
mrs chou : ) thank you - I was out almost the entire weekend.

mrs ha, have you been given an interview date? perhaps you might want to give them a call?

for those of you who have recently adopted, since the festivities are just round the corner, have you prepared yourselves to introduce your angels to friends & families who have not been updated with your family status? remember that 'press release' i mentioned? just a short intro to your little one without volunteering too much info as it is his/her story.

have a great week ahead, everyone!
 
Hi Andrea, ya I was thinking hw would relatives n frds react to an adopted baby. Care to share ur experience? Thks n no offence if I m insensitive in any ways
 
Hey folks
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We've just submitted the letter of assurance with MCYS & touch services. I've been calling MCYS about the clearance, but
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...But they called us back to inform that they'll need some time to work on it...No news from Touch yet...

So, I believe we'll wait for a week, before I call them again to know the status
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@vickysmommy
I believe, they haven't finalised the date, because of the letter clearance from MCYS...Going by die's timeline, I think we still have 1 more month for interview,as we submitted our HSR only by late September...so we expect the interview date to be sometime during Xmas holidays...Thanks for thinking about me...

@die

I haven't gone for any interviews yet...so,I haven't got any letter/report from MCYS as clearance letter for adopting the baby
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.

Catch u all soon
 
Lyn, we relocated back to S'pore in June and adopted #1 in Sept so most ppl thot I was expecting whilst overseas, which worked out well... anyway, for those who didn't ask much, I'll just let them assume tt way. for those who saw me but queried, I'd explain that we adopted her.

With #2 celebrating her 1st Xmas and CNY, I would still take the first stance, ie, if not queried, just leave it and if queried, just explain that she was adopted from birth in S'pore and leave it as tt. Any insensitive qns like how much, how come, do i know anything about her family, etc., I'd just say I don't know much. Because it is her story and I don't want it coming back to her in another way when she's older.

If someone starts to be really kaypoh, then use the 'change subject' strategy : ) it always works! : )
 
Hi andrea, I agreed with u that change the subject attitude is the best but I think ppl will still gossip behind our back like guessing here n there. Sometimes I really hope ppl will mind their own business
 
Hi,

I'll be joining tomorrow. So it's
1) Remeena - confirm
2) Lyn - confirm
3) Percy + baby - confirm

I've got a green/blue skirt. So I'll wear that with probably a white top
 
Hi everyone

Today was my office interview at SBL Vision. Lasted for almost 3 hrs. I think it didnt go so well cuz when the assessor asked my hubby would he cane a child he said yes he would. I almost fainted or had a heart attack there and then. Otherwise, all the other questions were handled by us ok. Upon coming home, i couldnt sleep and kept mulling over the matter. I wrote out a script and told my hubby to call the assessor tomorrow and explain that he was nervous and didnt mean to say what he did and that to set the record straight none of us would ever resort to caning our child.

Seriously what do u girls think about our chances of getting approval after this? Im quite a nervous wreck now n hubby feels so sorry for saying such a stupid thing which he didnt mean in the 1st place. Sigh.

Our home interview is next wed. Our maid arriving tmr.
 
Andrea,

The assessor asked for our proof of attendence for the workshop sensitive questions, honest answers. How can i get it?
 
hi die
We also mentioned about disciplining our children by setting 'naughty corner', or canning on hand (only where necessary) when we had the 1st interview with FeiYue. We will be receiving our HSR this week and was told that we pass our HSR. So, don't worry too much ya!
 

dear all, hope to seek some advice here. i am thinking about adoption but am not sure whether to move on to that stage. Some bckground abt myself - am currently doing 3rd cycle of IUI, but am not optimistic. Not keen on IVF in view of cost and for other reasons. Am in my early 30s.

If u don't mind sharing, did most of you do IVF before deciding to adopt? is there anyone who went on to adoption without doing IVF?
 
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