Any Mummy Who's Also a Teacher?

Hi Pauline

I also gotten the letter that I will get my connect plan payout but once I was on leave, they postphoned it and when I called to ask, was told that they will give it to me when I return to service.

Hi all

Finally back in Vancouver and it was snowing this morning. Lots of packing and stuff, will drop by when I can.

Kai is starting school this coming Monday, can't believe that he is 3 already and going to preschool.
 


hi august mum,when did you start your NPL?maybe its the time between you start NPL and due for connect shorter..
my maternity ends in end march,going to start NPL from there so think i will loogi my connect at year end...

Priscilla,did the 3 years pass very quickly for you?
 
missk, i am also teaching chinese, same as Tyan
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Sandra, i applied for my maternity leave quite early coz my HOD said its better to inform the sch early in case they have plans for me. but i have yet to apply for NPL.

Tyan, i also intend to take NPL aft my maternity leave expires. at least 1.5 yr but i am also hoping to quit and be a SAHM. gotta see how things go... is yr P ok with u taking long NPL ?
 
Hi Tyan

Yes, three years passed very fast and before I know it, Kai is starting Preschool. I am happy that he is going to school to mix with peer, learn as a group as well as have some friends to play with but at the same time, I think I will miss him being at home with me. Probably, I will have separation anxiety more than him. Will look at the positive side that I will have at least 2-2.5 hours free for myself.
 
edde, another Chinese teacher. Pri or sec?

Hmm..I cant wait for my son to start preschool. Should be quite interesting!
 
NPL

Hi just a gentle reminder to those who wants to take no pay leave... as teachers we have a moral obligation to return to service after our no pay leave period. We are moraaly obliged to teach as long as the period we are away. This is stated clearly in out guide. Sounds silly, but if you dont its difficult to return to service or even get another Civil service job. FYI
 
hi edde!Ultra comrade!Where do u teach,mind saying?I only applied for maternity leave...did tell my HOD that i am likely to continue to take NPL but she is in denial mode.Said it is such a waste,she herself got maid and MIL to help her and she thinks her kid will grow up v well even without her staying around.Well,i suppose to each his own,so i cant judge how she wants to bring up her kid.

I heard news been spreading that i will be on long leave,not sure if it reached the "Emperor's"ears but i am planning to apply NPL one month into my maternity leave.Actually...i am not sure whether i am "cut out" to be SAHM..i hope to but keeping my options open.Actually this was a very hard decision for me to make cos once i take NPL i have to give up my nanny whom i quite like,and of course she would be accepting other assignments.And if i decide to go back to work,i might be "stranded",if u know what i mean.

I have read that 3 years is max for NPL.So i think if everything goes according to plan,i might take up to 2 or 3 years.Send children to school then i can go to work.I am not keen for kids to go childcare too early an age as i hear abt how they fall sick often or pick up bad habits etc.So i am trying to take one step at a time.

I have heard of how my P reject people taking leave.I was advised to write in straight to MOE but not sure leh.thought not v nice to bypass him.I thinki i will still apply after one month of maternity leave passed and see how.If he reject,i will apply to MOE.I hope i dont have to be forced to resign.

Priscilla,so are you still in the teaching profession or on leave?Ever intend to work again?

Missk,how old is your so?

Thanks gabby'smum for your reminder.I read that somewhere too..
 
another questio:did you all ever miss teaching when staying at home?like the interaction u get with colleagues and students?more generally,the so-called having time to yourself,being able to switch off when at work,but u cant as SAHM?
 
sorry v lor so_One more question:is it true it will be quite hard to go back work after staying at home too long?I had a friedn who took NPL for 2 years to take care of her child,then when she went back teaching,she realised she was no longer as passionate abt teaching as she is now taking care of her child so she resigned.Heard of a few such cases.

But i also know of someone who too 3.5 years of NPL to take care of her twins,went back teaching abt 2 years or so,then took NPL again to see her kids thru pri 1.

So its a matter of mentality?This thing abt going back to work?
 
Tyan...I am still on leave, just extended my leave as we are overseas now. I supposed it depend on how much you view the important of upbringing your child and I take a day at a time and with no regrets. Even if my child might not be guai at the end, I could still said that I have done my best for him as I took leaves for his sake.

I suppose the transition of going back to work also depend on individuals, I have colleagues on leaves for a long time and have not problem going back to work.In fact now I am trying for #2 and I do not rule out the possible that watching my child grows and passing each milestone is as satisfaction or more than I used to teach. I have taken NPL at the perk of my teaching career and till now I have no regrets looking back. Depending on one income is tough but we have overcome that too. So I supposed it has alot to do with mentality.
 
Hi Missk & Tyan, i am teaching in a sec sch in sengkang. in fact i just joined the sch last yr.. my P must have regretted recruiting me HAHA...

thx gabby for yr info, i din noe that... but i dun care. if MOE insist i "pay back" my NPL, i will quit and nvr return to civil service anymore.

someone posted this saying on one the forums here, it goes something like this, "in the workforce, nobody is indispensable. But to your child, nobody can replace you." This saying really strikes hard in me lor. i totally agree wih it. i ever ask my hubby this, if given a choice, what do you think our kid will choose, a mummy who works to bring more comfort to the family with the dual income, or a SAHM who can spend more time with her." maybe its due to my family background (my mum has been a SAHM since i was bornt), i prefer the latter.

in fact, i nearly quit aft a bad incidence with my P few mths back. but my HOD and AM tok me out of it. they told me to take NPL and keep the options open first, in case i change my mind, i still have my bridges.

well Tyan, like u mentioned, i think i will miss my time at work, teaching my students and hanging ard with my colleagues. i do miss all these during sch hols. but i guess, aft having a baby, she will be my first priority. something for sure, i will not sacrifice her for my own comfort. like you said, i have no heart to put her in childcare at a young age and suffer. maybe at an older age when she can socialise and learn then i will put her in childcare or play sch.

actually not to mentioned coming back to work aft NPL, i think it takes lotsa effort to overcome the inertia even aft 1+mth of sch hols. rite now i am still quite lost and in hol moood ! haha!!

personally, in future with my child at the back of my mind, i dun rule out the possibility that i wld not be 100% dedicated to my job then as compared to before. it just doesnt not make sense to take care of others' kids and neglect yr own. my personally opinion lah...
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Edde, well-said! I can't agree with you more. My heart tells me to be SAHM, my head says that we need the dual income.... feel so torn everyday. (btw, I was in MOE HQ, now back in teaching).
 
Urm, miss teaching? Well, I was a very passionate teacher during my stint with MOE. I worked long hours and spent a lot of time with the children.

After having my son, I was hesitant about going back to the workforce. I just couldn't leave him in my nanny's hands with no adult supervision. After some discussion with my hubby, I decided to breech my contract to become a SAHM. Well, I had to pay the company quite a large sum of money. And this sum of money will definitely come in handy for our son. However, I can't compromise my son's safety. I need to be a SAHM immediately! I can't wait.

For the past 6 mths, I dun miss teaching a single bit. My hands are always full. I don't even have time for myself. Maybe, later on I will miss the interaction. Edde puts it very well. Why do we spend so much effort and time grooming other people's children and neglect our own? Not only do I want to be a responsible teacher, I also want to be a committed mother. Working just doesnt allow me to handle both responsibilities well at this moment.

meixue, u were from HQ? Are you a LH/HOD now?
 
hi edde...my goodness,i teach at a sec school in sengkang too!But u dont sound like we are from same school,hehe.Actually my original plan was to continue work till 07 year end to get my connect pay out.Want to ask your advice,you think its worth it?A friend said that depends whether we need the money and whether i will quit after NPL.My hub assured me the connect plan is not an issue cos we have savings.But i am not sure whether i will quit after NPL.If i take leave only this year end,that would mean leaving my kids with nanny till they are 2.5 and 1.Some people tell me the baby's first year is mainly physical needs so its ok to let someone else do it.What do you all think? I had wanted to stop after my older son's birth but i went back cos i wanted to complete my bond.Now that my bond is completed,there is this nagging feeling whether i should go for connect plan before leaving.I am just afraid if i keep rationalising i may end up never staying at home..haha.

Edde,actually i also had a bad encounter with P and math HOD last year.Math HOD cos she is also in charge of timetabling.My plan was to take leave 07 year end,but after that very bad encounter which nearly brought me to take the matter to cluster sup,my hub told me to just take NPL straight after maternity.

Actually,my reason fr wanting to stay at home was like what you said.I do love teaching,i enjoy spending time with students.But i thought to myself why am i spending so much time with other people's children yet no time for my own?I was doing counseling and sometimes have to accompany them to police station.I observed many of these wayward kids suffer from parental negligence.It sort of strengthened my resolve to spend more time with my kids because i know of some parents who decide to spend more time with their kids after they become delinquent but it was a bit late.

Missk,are you not in Singapore now?

you are right.i still wanted to be a good teacher after i had my first bb.But found it extremely hard.Someone is shortchanged somewhere.Cant be "superwoman" very long.Either i do this well or the other.Once a student asked me where my first bb was when i go to work.I said,"nanny" and she exclaimed,"poor boy!" my heart ached terribly.
 
I have to agree with missk and edde. I have been an SAHM for almost 6 months too since quitting mid year. I think I've said it before, I never regretted my decision although the $$ comes in handy. But then, nothing beats the satisfaction of taking care of your own children.

Maybe when my 2 sons are bigger, I might consider joining back the workforce. For now, I'm contented with looking after them and doing the occasional relief stint (just to make sure I'm still in touch with teaching)
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Btw, for relief, I don't take those daily last minute assignments. Not worth the hassle.
 
Tyan,in fact, research has stated that the first couple of years is very important for the development of the child.

I do agreed that when we are teaching other people's children and been too passionate in our teaching career, we might neglect our own children. That's also one fact that I choose to go on long leave with my dh's blessing and my mum's blessing (my own mum was a sahm). My mum told me it is important to care for my child first and she just turns down the monthly allowance that I give her. And when I need a short breather when I was still in Singapore, I gave part-time tuition 3 weekdays to have a little time of my own, my in-laws and my mum helped to mind my son for 2 to 3 hours.

Looking back, it was 3 wonderful years of bonding with my boy and now he is going to preschool the same time, we are trying for #2 as ds is so eager to have a sibling to play with.
 
Hi Tyan, when I was working, I sent my 1st son to my aunt. So when I do relief, she takes care of him.
I just delivered my no 2 so right now still under confinement. Not sure whether I want to take up relief so soon after that cause I want to spend more time with my babies 1st.
 
hi all, aft reading all yr exp, it really gives me a stronger will to be a SAHM.
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i guess it's always the heart vs head debate going on. but i have a feeling that my heart will rule my head haha!

Tyan, i am sure we are not in the same sch coz i am the only preg woman in my sch now
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but i guess it wont be difficult to find out where each other is teaching ! hee hee...

actually if i were to quit aft this child, i am giving up quite a lot. Pay, bonus, chance of promotion, maternity leave for my 2nd child which i plan to have in 3 yrs time, and of coz my connect payout in 2008. but on top of all these, i still think nothing monetary is more impt than my kid
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unless without my job, my kid has to starve or be deprived of basic needs lah!! hee hee

and tyan, at least u and hubby have savings, for my case, we have zero savings lor.. haha! and until now we are still paying off our bank loans for wedding and house (have been clearing debt for 3yr+ we are married). luckily our loan is clearing in a couple of mths' time. and luckily my hubby's job is stable and paying quite ok (enuf to feed family of 3 i believe haha), so as long as he doesnt quit his stressful job, i believe we can live a simple and happy, though not luxurious life.

i agree with priscilla, the first couple of yrs are very crucial. i always believe that it is impt to build a gd foundation in the first 12 yrs of a kid in order for him/her to grow up to be a gd person. of coz there is no guarantee but i believe it helps a lot.

i have also heard from pple telling me that first few yrs before the kids "dong shi", it is ok to leave them in other pple's care. but i dun agree lor... maybe i am very possessive, so regardless of the age of my kids, as long as their character are not moulded yet, i wld still prefer to raise my kid the way i want them to be. i guess it is equally impt for babies coz this is when we bond with them. who knows, it might make a lot of diff
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oh yes tyan, to ans yr an, if i were u, i may consider quitting aft getting the connect payout, coz its only another few months aft maternity, rite?? and some more its only until oct / nov to be exact, so why not just dong for a mere few mths and get wat u deserve?? i think a few mths' impact is still not that great to the baby.

i hope i am not contradictoring myself here !! haha!! coz for my case, 2008 is just too long !!
 
Who says the first year is just physical needs? I don't think it's true. I have never read this anywhere. The books always recommend mothers being around for the first few years. Trust me, I think the child can learn a lot in the first year.

Tyan, no I am not in Singapore now. I resigned from MOE in 2005. Never regretted at all. Too much politicking.
 
Hi all

Ds enjoyed his preschool very much and did not cry when I leave him alone in class with the teachers. He told me he has lots of fun and the teachers taught him lots of songs and they have lots of fun learning and playing in class,
 
betty,congrats!So is no.2 prince or princess?
My gynae told me yesterday that i might deliver this weekend.He is quite accurate when i delivered my first bb.He did a check,told nurse,"Twelve",and i really delivered around that time.Cool!I joked with him that if he could tell exact time and day a lady is to deliver,maybe he can charge more.

btw,i think a pediatrician and gynae really can earn a lot boy!I was joking with my hub that our 2 sons got to be a gynae and PD so i can get back the $ i paid!Hahaha.

Edde is right.After reading all your posts,it encouraged me a lot to stick to decision to stay with my kids.

Edde,people say my school fengshui very good.When i was pregnant with my no.1,my school had abt 9 other preggies!Headache for P.

I suppose i am worried abt the financial security.Its like when we are working,we know pay goes into our account every 12th.But when we stay at home,have to watch spending,and like what edde said,no bonus,no hols,no promotions..i think its the aspect of security i find it hard to let go.

A friend said if i do intend to go back to teaching after NPL,i can always get the connect when i go back.But if i decide to quit,i should dong till year end.But the thing is i am not sure what the future holds.Not sure if i might end up quitting or joining back.Hub assured me that we don really need the CONNECT money to survive,but its just that nagging feelin that the $ will be useful.

PLUS,this year,i was given all NORMAL ACADEMIC classes bacause i am missing in action first 3 months.And those are all very notorious ones.I not v keen.HOD promised will change my timetable the moment i come back but i am not going to take her word 100% for it.So if i do go back for CONNECT,it means i have to dong from april to Dec.Mummies,would you all do it?

sorry i am bothering u all with my prob.I wish somebody can tell me what to do.Its so headache to make decisions.Haha.

PS:i will have to pay my nanny HALF my pay if i get her to take care of my 2 kids till year end.And i calculated,for half my pay every month,i will only get to spend half the amt of time the nanny gets to spend with them..
 
hi Priscilla,
glad your boy enjoyed his school!My friend's son had such bad separtation anxiety he cried for 3 whole months!
 
edde,
we are still paying mortgage for flat,too.Can finish paying one meh?:p deduct from CPF every month.When i stop work will deduct from hub's acc only.He said should be enough.Sometimes i think staying in Singapore is too expensive.
 
tyan, i feel so gan jiong for u !! u r going to deliver anytime from now !!!!! 12th gd leh.. same day we get our pay haha!!

oh.. the loan i refer to for house is house reno loan... not the housing loan from HDB.. that one is 20 yrs business !!

to ans yr qn, if i were u, i will still dong from april to dec lor... coz april to may is exam period mah... esp during exam time and post exam not so siong... can go home earlier... i hope this is the case for yr sch lah... then aft that july to nov only. so in total only dong for another 7 mths and u get paid for june and dec hol + yr connnect payout! dats a lot of money for 7 mths of "perservrance" leh !!! had my HOD and AM not tok me out of quitting the other time, i wld have lost at least 20k !!! and everybody told me to persevere for a little while longer, get wat i deserve first and save the money for baby.

but hor, like u said yr nanny's fee is going to take up half yr pay, then i dun think its economical to work and have nanny in the long run. boh hua leh.... this is also the reason why i rule out part time teaching coz i realise half of my salary minus childcare = not much left leh !! then wat for ??!! hee hee
 
oh.. but one thing to reconsider, by the time u quit, yr baby is almost 1 yr old liao... hm..... continue working, you will get paid + hols + connect... dun work, more time with baby... really a tough choice hor.... haha... sorry... looks like i am not very helpful here !! :p
 
hey tyan, feel free to share your problems here lah. No worries.

Wow, you gotta pay your nanny half your salary. Are you kidding? Where did you get this nanny from? How much does it cost to hire one?

3 NA classes? wow ....quite a bunch yah. Are they graduating classes? What subject do you teach? U will have to see them thru mid year and final yr exams yah?

U are lucky, your hubby already assured you that the connect payout is not essential. That's good yah...at least you can choose NOT to return to school.

I find the payout so little. It's minute for all the effort I put in when I was with MOE. I understand that flight attendants get more than this.
 
Tyan, my no 2 is another prince lah. Now got 2 princes already. Dh wants to try for a girl. I told him wait long-long. Hehe.
You're getting your payout this year? If you want to get your Connect Plan payout but don't want to go back to school as yet, take NPL lah under childcare. But you'll get prorated payout, just like me. During my payout year, I took 3 mths NPL and extend my maternity leave but I delivered my 1st mid-yr so by the time I have to go back, it's the exams periods already.
 
missk,
i pay nanny $550,plus $80 when boy started taking fish and stuff.Total 630.I bring him to nanny at 645 in the morn and fetch him back at 430.If i extend beyond 430,its $5 per hour thereafter.I got her thru childcare agency.So if i bring both kids to her,that would mean $1260,which is about half my take home pay already.

i teach chinese,hod say want to give me grad classes when i come back but not sure if she is really going to do it.I have all NA classes,4 in all.Would have to see them thru mid and end year.I heard have to apply for NPL 2 months in advance,so i bit gan jiong,since i took maternity leave even before child is born,i alreayd used up 2weeks of maternity.Effectively,i have to apply in 2wk time!So thinking whether i should go back or just gang ho apply NPL.

betty,so you delivered baby in mid year,after that apply NPL and got maternity and still get pay out after that?
 
Yup Tyan. Cause I was still in school for the 1st half of the year but then the payout is prorated. But that was in 2005. Don't know if it's still the same. I think it should be.
 
tyan, aiyoh...so poor thing! It's really ex man! Your mil or mother can't help?

I have nobody to turn to. Although I have a live-in helper, I cant exactly trust her to do the job when I work. She's good though. Perhaps, it's just me. I want to be with my child. So much so I am willing to pay a hefty sum to the school to terminate my contract. Now, we are so much poorer and living on a single income. However, both my hubby and I have a peace of mind. He knows that the bb is in safe hands when he's working.
 
Tyan...ds is the more sociable type and he adapt to places and situations very fast. He knows that he is starting school and we choose the school with him together and he was on a long waiting list. I just sent him there and told a couple of his pictures and left, less than 10 minutes stay.

Bettybad, at least you get prorated, I was in school till end year and they did not give me my payout in 2003. Well, dh also told me that we do not need the money though it is handy and that my child is more valuable and priceless so I just took my leave. I may not return to work if I have #2 and might quit since my children are my joy and now my job haahaa...
 
hi priscilla and missk,your testimonies gave me more courage to take leave.Actually my husband is also teaching,but he came in teaching half a year later than me.Job although stable but you know teaching wont get you rich anywhere...so if depend on his income alone,we wont have much savings each month as we have to pay for mortgage(edde,mine is 30 year business!haha) and car,which we will finish paying next year.He said its ok cos the mortgage can take fr his CPF alone and car can deduct from giro,so no need cash upfront.

After our first child was born,we have been thinking abt me staying at home.But we did not do it as my bond was not completed then and hub has got no $ for me to break bond.I wanted to complete my bond so that i could be free to do what i want after that.

missk,nope both side of parents cant help.MIL told us from beginning she has no experience with babies cos she herself did only weekend parenting.Even then,she had lots of sisters-in-law or aunties to help her mind the children.But if u let me choose,i wont want her to take care of my kids too.Cant see eye to eye with her.Will have lots of tension.Already it is quite bad now even when we dont live together.Everytime my son or hub fall sick,she will think its my fault,that i did not do a good job of taking are of them.I think i am doing ok but always "kena" devalue by her like nobody's business.

my mother is still working.Even if not,my parents are very traditional.They think daughters marry out are like "water splashed out" so when my 2nd child's due date was just a few weeks after my sister-in-law's,my mom said she will give SIL priority.So...in a sense,i am alone.

actually getting a maid would be cheaper than my current nanny.[a lot cheaper!]Moreover she can help do housework which my nanny doesn't cover.But i am very resistant to the idea of having maid in house because of several bad experiences with them when my mom had maid in her house when we were young.

Come to think of it,i think it will be very tough working and taking care of 2 kids with no help.In the past,when i bring my son back from nanny,i already feel i have missed out so much with him.On top of that have to do housework and cook.Now with 2,how can i divide up my love and time even more?I think i will shortchange them terribly.Sometimes i feel quite alone because my colleagues who are also young mothers have good family support.For eg,their mothers help them take care of kids while they work and they can go to their moms' place to eat dinner.I don't have that luxury.But to be honest,i come to enjoy that sense of independence.Lonely sometimes but got used to it.
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tyan, another thing we have in common, i have no one to look aft my kid too... my MIL is working, and my mum told me she doesnt want to look aft babies coz she has had enuf looking aft the 3 of us since young!! haha.... i also dun want them to help lah coz i dun like MIL style (her style and her house are not child friendly!) and my mum sure pampers my kids a lot. but i prefer it this way too lah coz i very possessive mah... i want to bring up my children MY way, not the old styles. haha

and like u, i dun like a live in maid, though i have a part time one who comes in everyfortnightly. hate the idea of having an outsider walking ard in my house haha... a nanny is out of the qn too, since i cant even trust my MIL and mum !! haha.... i have heard and saw bad incidences abt childcare too (coz i have one at the void deck opp my blk where i used to live).. so conclusion is, kao zi ji lor !!! :p
 
hey edde and tyan, we have a lot in common. I have absolutely no help at all. I am lucky that I have a helper at home. Mainly, I look after the bb then she does the menial work so that I will not be too exhausted.

Tyan, u have msn? We should talk more! So much to share!
 
Tyan...I have the same problem with my mil, dh's sil (thinks that she knows all and her kids are looked after by her own mother) and good thing is that we do not live together. I just don't like the fact is that whenever my mil is sick, she would not inform us or she would always call my dh and ask whether we are going and insist of following and a couple of occasions, she passed her virus to my son and my husband. I told dh that if ds is going to sick again from the virus that his siblings or mum passed to him, he will have to look after ds alone at night which make him call to find out where anyone is sick and when he suspected that someone is sick, ds and I would stay home and he
would go to my in-laws alone.

She is also the one that told before marriage that she will not look after my children, she loves to play mahjpngs. My mum used to help me out whenever I need to go to Doc etc or a break of an hour or two when I drop by her place. However, my mum was diagnosed with heart problem so I tried not to leave my boy alone with her since ds is very playful.

We would have dinner at my mum on Sat. and Sunday at my in-laws.

Only allowed my in-laws to help out after ds turned one since my fil needs a breather from home, my eldest bil always cause him to be angry. Dh requested to invited his dad over to take a breather twice a week since my fil always dotes on my boy. So to avoid conflicts, I gave p/t tuition whenever my in-laws came over. I was not happy with what my mil taught my boy to climb my staircase when he started to crawl since when ds is with me, he will not do that and after a couple of visit from my in-laws, ds tried crawling and climbing the stair that I had to beat him and told him firmly "No". After that he only did it when my in-laws came to visit and my mil complained that ds always crawled to the staircase and climb which I asked her whether she had made him climb and that ds did not do that when I am all alone with him and when dh is alone with him. And the culprit had to admit and that's when my dh had to tell his mum to stop making life difficult for us.

In fact, it is so much easier to care for ds even though it is tiring in Vancouver without my mil to belittle me too.

But I supposed the tough training in the beginning has toughen me up and I am stronger mentally and would just move from places to places with dh for his research and his studies. And we learnt to live within our means but we will not sacrifice on ds's learning resources and preschool.
 
thanks priscilla and edde for your sharing...actually there were really times i wondered if it was my prob that caused mil to be so picky,or mil tend to think their dil wont do such a good job as them?

my hub told me before that his mom is the more insensitive type,just say what she thinks,told me to take her words with a pinch of salt,but i find it really hard.Maybe its my personality.

Even before we were married,she would comment on my dressing when i go her house for dinner,like certain skirt make my butt look big,blah.[i like to flaunt big butt,cannot meh??]

Actually my parents are unwilling to have anything to do with my in laws too.Cos just before we got married,MIL kicked up some fuss about the tea ceremony,which ended in my dad banging down the phone while talking on the phone with her.All along she did not say anything,did not make any requests.I am the daughter,and my parents were upset that the in laws like very laid back.then suddenly she hear sth from some san1 gu1 liu4 po2 abt tea ceremony and started kicking up fuss.It was quite bad till i thought i had to elope with hub.haha.but think that incident started me on bad note with her though i was not involved in the spat directly.

Then when we just got married,she actually asked me very personal questions!Like:"So what contraceptive are you using now?"
And she likes to do it when my hub not around with me.I mean,should you not ask your son directly?But that time,as a new dil i just try to be polite and stupidly answer her questions!

When i fell preg with no.2,she said,"you better go to gynae and get a better contraceptive so u don get preg so easily!"

When my son got diarrhoea,she scolds me for not washing my hands clean.Once my hub and son caught a cold,she thinks i passed it to them and said i should wear a mask.

anything bad happen to my son she would "credit" to me,but if son can do cute things like clap and dance to music,she would say wow,nanny so good at teaching him!C'mon give me some credit!I took it real hard cos i try so hard to cope with working and mothering,no help from anyone and she talk so much!

Now i don even want to try to please her.I just make sure my hub is with me to defend me whenever she attacks.

Actually on tuesday,i had this false alarm,thought my water bag was leaking.We go her place for dinner on tuesdays so my hub asked if i should stay at home to monitor.She would not hear of it!Then when i went there,she keep asking why my son keep falling sick,and insisted on buying cod liver oil.

I have no prob if she SUGGESTS,but not INSISTS.Then she told me to drink this white fungus soup.She said it is good for lungs.
At first i was thinking,wah,for once she is so nice to make soup for me.But i was puzzled why make sth thats good for lungs?So i can scream in the delivery suite issit?

Then her next statement...why she fed me white fungus is because my boy always fall sick because i have weak lungs[she believes] and so before i do more harm to my 2nd coming boy,i better take some white fungus,hopefully,it will save the poor boys.

Then she asks if we need fish.We say we buy on our own,no need her to buy.Then she jumped to the conclusion that i don't cook.she said"you don't cook ah?Alwasy eat out?no wonder XX(my hub's name)so fat now!"I am like...you know how tiring it is for a full term preggie to cook or not?and to clean up after that?with a toddler clinging to her legs while she is cooking????So what if i choose to eat out?I have every right to do that!

and i do cook,just that i don't want your fish!I fume at the fact that she doesnt show any empathy or sympathy.Never mind if she does not take care of me like a daughter,but her son did not marry a maid you know!

sorry i taking out the records to gripe.Thanks for reading.haha.Actually i have been feeling v tense everytime i go to her place now.I refuse to talk back because i know that would worsen things,so i always pray she will keep her comments to herself.Or i just keep quiet.But i feel so tense my heart literally beat faster when i go her place and once i was so nervous i kept vomiting at her place![Of cos she doesnt care,the moment i came out of toilet fr vomiting she asked if i fed her son the vit c pills she bought]

and pris,actually i have been fantasizing abt my hub applying for teaching overseas then we can all go together so i can escape mil.This is how bad it is.I mean,i know it is not easy living out there on your own,but it seem to give me some comfort just by thinkin i can get away from her for a while.
 
missk,i sent u my msn!keep in touch!But if i dont reply when u msn me,its not becasue i am unfrenly its cos i am not the one on line...!

i saw the big couloured mats at kiddy palace yesterday.Check it out when u return to singapore.Its 24 inches by 24 inches.They sell by 4 pieces each pack,i forgot the price.Less than $20 i think.i bought 8 pieces and its adds up to abt the size of a single size bed.
 
Tyan....can pm me your msn? We can keep in touch.

Dun worry, I understand. The very recent one was, why is your son not going to preschool? (mil and sil)
Ds was on the waitlist.

Then a week ago, so your wife sending your child to preschool, so no need to cook lunch and dinner. (I answer back that I cook lunch and provide ds lunch and makes different snacks for ds each day before sending him to school) and rush back to get him to nap and I cook dinner. Very tiring but I did all that.that shut her up!
 
My first dish in Vancouver Broccoli, cauliflower, carrot, fresh Shiitake Mushroom and Fresh Scallops

646229.jpg


Bake a cake to celebrate Ds's going to preschool.
646230.jpg
 
wow priscilla.the cake looks very nice and pro!I mean the scallop dish is very nice too,like restaurant dishes!You should send these pictures to your MIL and SIL to let them know what a wonderful mommie you are![aiya,but sometimes no point,they choose to believe and think what they want to believe and think]

If i were your DS,i'd be so touched to get a cake to go preschool!Oh man,did your ds realise what the cake was for?Someday free teach me how to do it leh![sadly i only know how to bake those "instant cakes"=add the box ingredients and put inside oven kind of cake]

how long will u be in vancouver?

missk,btw where are you now?when are u coming back?for good?

edde,haven heard fr u nowadays!
 
Hi bettybad and gals,

Confirmed about the connect plan. The extra 'gift' is 'hot' in my bank account. it is pro-rated. At least got extra cash to 'dong' to July before deciding again whether to go back to service.

Just curious, do you all know when should we start doing parent volunteer work in our kids choice future school? Actually, I am not worried but I have a friend teacher told me I should start when my kid is 3 years. Any comments? I thought since I am a 'bit free' now, maybe I should do a bit. Never come across my mind to ask my school because my school is very lousy so this question never come across my mind until my friend teacher popped this up.
 
Hi ladies...

Have updated some Nara's photos in my blog but yet to arrange them since I compiled from 2 cameras.

And here's ds's snowman...
646812.jpg

646813.jpg

646814.jpg

646815.jpg


This is part of our homeschool about winter and ds got to create his own snowman....he has done a piece of art in preschool on Snowman too.

We also have this song...sing to the tune of 10 little indian boys

One little two little three
little snowmen
four little five little six
little snowmen
seven little eight little nine
little snowmen
ten little snowmen
 
alamak...priscilla...your son is very good looking!Did you cut his hair yourself?So skilful!i made such a mess of my son's hair when i cut it for him i had to go to the barber to salvage it...The photos are so nice!Makes me want to get out of here even more now..hehe.I haven't seen real snow my whole life!
 
Tyan....I am a jack of all trades, I cook, take care of him, his doc now when he is unable, his driver to send and fetch him to school, his homeschooling teacher, his playmate, his discipline mistress etc And also his barber haahaa
 


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