Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

mad bride,
i don't think either one is any better than the other. they both have their pros and cons. and when it comes to good attitude, it doesn't matter if they are fresh or experienced, it all boils down to the person herself. it really does depend on luck if you get a good maid!

actually, i know how you feel. i am also still very paranoid about leaving maids to take care of kids. that's why up till today i hardly ever leave my maid alone with my dd. at most it is only for 30mins, when i need to go downstairs to the supermarket very quickly. i will also never allow my maid to bring my dd downstairs on her own, ie. to playground, park, shops, etc. i've seen how some of the neighbourhood maids so engrossed in chit-chatting that they never watch the kids at the playgorund, then the kids actually wonder onto the road! i've even seen some maids jaywalk across the very busy main road with a baby in the pram! and can actually see them struggling to bring the pram over the road divider, with cars swishing by! aiyoh! up till today i ALWAYS cross the road at the traffic light whenever i'm with my dd, and i actually wait for the light to turn green before i even cross, even if there are no cars! i just wanna make sure i don't put my dd at any risk, and i also hope to set a good example for her.
 


mad bride,
Like Lani, I never allow my maid to bring my kids outside the house on their own, not even to the corridor.

Ex-SIN ones will be able to communicate a lot better in English, and require less training in housework or babycare. Fresh ones only know little English, and you have to train everything, it can be very frustrating. You will need a lot of patience.

I also agree with Lani, that you cannot guarantee good attitude, whether it is ex-SIN or fresh maid.
 
Can someone advise me on this - is it true that if the maid is hospitalised, we must let her stay in B1 class ward and there will be no subsidy from the govt?
 
Hi mad bride,
Not sure what's the class called, but it's the most basic one. (and I'm talking abt government hospitals)
If your maid is hospitalized with surgery, u can claim insurance. Check the insurance tat u bot when hire her.
 
madbride

I remember reading somewhere in the newspaper. Now which ever class also no govt subsidy liao. That's why need to buy insurance.

I brought mine to polyclinic once for her tooth extraction. Recently I enquired, no subsidy anymore @ polyclinic too.
 
Hi,

Would like to check with the ladies here with Indon maid.

My maid has been with me for 3 months and she's quite good. She has a daughter but died 2 yrs ago and at that time her daughter is only 21/2 yrs old. Recently then I found out about the whole incident how her dd passed away. Very sad story I can say and I did not sleep well on that day when I know what happen to her dd death.
My maid is poor of course...and need to come to sg to work as a maid so she got to let her mum to look after the gal but her MIL insisted to look after the toddler when she knew that my maid's mum wanted to. She don't have a choice but to let to her MIL. Bad things happen when the girl is with her granny. She often fell from the bed even her granny knows abt it and continue letting her fell... my maid send $$ monthly back to her MIL and also some $$ to ask her MIL to buy milk for her child but later she found out that her MIL has been feeding her condense milk all the while and the gal always had diahorrea and always send to hospital.
About her death, haiz....the gal was sick that day and her MIL let her go out and play and doesn't look after her and she was knock down by a car. As what my maid said, her dd head crack and die on the spot. My maid cried for 3 months and her mum peng san (faintz) when she heard about her granddaughter death.
I've never known or seen any cruel or inhuman MIL that love to harm their grandchildren before and my maid told me she suspect her MIL using black magic to her hb so that her hb won't know anything to prevent her mum to do anything??

Now my maid and her hb no longer talking or keep in touch with their cruel mum.

Although my maid dd death passed 2 yrs but recently she dream about her dd, asking my maid to buy her teddy bear, wants chocolate, food and hug from her. I told my maid maybe her gal is jealous when she carries my son. And my son is getting very cranky and cries very often too... or maybe he's coming to terrible 2?
I told my maid to call her hb to buy the stuff that her dd wants and look for a priest to pray for her to rest in peace etc.....

Now the problem that my maid told me after the pray the priest will hand some paper to my maid's hb to pass to my maid. So the paper is something to do with the dd and is it ok for to keep the paper in our house with the maid?

I don't know anything about Malay praying stuff so is it ok for my maid to bring the paper to our family? Please advise, many thanks!
 
Hi annlee,
Really sad to hear the story abt your maid's dd. If your maid is doing her work well and no attitude problem, I personally will not bother on the paper. My priority is still take care the child well and do the work well.

But if u suspect anything or feel uneasy abt it then u can ask her to send back to her hb to keep for her.
 
annlee,
I think Lani will be the best person to answer about the praying part. It doesn't sound right to me.

I feel that your maid has a serious physcological problem. I agree with shining, if you feel uneasy, you should consider sending her away. Perhaps your boy also sensed that something is not right, that's why he is getting more cranky.
 
annlee,
is your maid muslim? cause muslims don't have priests, unless she's referring to an "ustaz" which is a religious teacher. and i'm not too sure about the paper thing. it may be a simple prayer that is written on the paper, and then kept. if it is this then it is harmless, and will not affect your family in any way. i will need more info before i can advice if this what she is doing is normal or not. perhaps you wanna PM me, and give me more details, so that i can help advice you? i don't think it's very convenient to talk abt such things on the forum.
happy.gif
 
shining,
Just check with my maid again, she says the paper is suppose to protect her from her dd to come to her dream again. Something like a amulet.
So far she's good that's why I don't want her to leave just because of that paper and also in the same time checking with you gals on that paper too.

Tamarind,
Think is best not to let her bring the paper or amulet to my house. So far she's good but if all these keep bothering her, or I sense something weird, I'll consider to send her back. Good maid not easy to find, haiz.....

Lani, ok will pm you, thanks!
 
mummies
my indo maid would have been with us for 2 years come Dec and she is thinking of working for another 2 years.

Would like to check, for passport renewal and renewal of work permit, is it necessary to appoint an agent to do it?

Also can check for her to be able to come back to Singapore after her 2 weeks homeleave in Indonesia, her passport should have how many mths of validity left?

Thanks!
 
Tamarind/Lani,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think I will have to take a gamble and get a new maid when my cuurent one's contract is over. I sense my time with her is up and I get easily irritable with her. This is not good for both of us. Just that nobody knows if the next one will be better or a terror?!

Hi Annlee,

Don't worry too much. Your maid could be dreaming of her dd because of guilt/stress adapting in a new environment. Your son probably brought out the motherly instinct in her and reminded her of dd again. Try not bring in unknown "religious" item into your household. It could well be cranky 2 or teething. If you want peace of mind bring your boy to pray at a temple or pray to God if you are Christian.
 
My current maid has been with me close to 3 months. I get easily irritated with her but I make an attempt not to shout at her. She is a good worker in terms of cleaning and playing with my 16mths boy. She has alot of initiative in the above duties. When it comes to cooking, she lags behind. Since day 1 of her arrival, my mum has been cooking with her 2 times a day for a month. She did not write down the recipes until I force her to in the 2mth. Till now, the 3rd month, she still doesnt know how to cook much. Have to stand beside her to remind her to add salt and blah blah.
In the 2nd month, she ate up all our sweet biscuits my mum bought in Malaysia without leaving any for my hubby and I. She is fussy when it omes to food. She now learns to drink milo without adding sugar but add more milo to make it sweet. I check with the agent and was told to stop giving her milo but just tea and a tin of biscuits a month. I was forced to segregate her food cos she dis not know her limits. I sent her back to the agent for counselling and she is much better now.
Though she is a good worker, I just cant bring myself to like her or buy stuff for her. Yesterday, she warmed my gal's milk bottle in a cup and took the bottle out by the teats! I was horrified and told her nicely that it is not clean to do it that way, How can she not know that? I have been preparing broccoli for my boy. I told her the first layer of skin must be removed and showed her, The next day I asked her to do it. She forgot how to.
She doesnt have any money. One night, I gave her 80 cents to help me buy papers. I wake up with my son and gal at about 8.30 a.m. The next morning, she came back and rushed to empty the bin. I felt weird and deliberately sent her to my mum's place. I realised she took some money from my mum's coin pouch left in the cupboard in her room. I asked her why there was a 50 cents. My mum also asked her. She said she brought extra cash cos the newspaper vendor charges her 85 cents for Straits times. I told her to bring me to the vendor and she said that my mum told her to bring more cash when she is out to buy stuff and spent her time explaining and explaining, I cant be bothered to ask anymore as I know she is lying. How can a 80cents ST be 85cents?
Being a teacher, she is just like my many PRIMARY sch students.
She is choosy when it comes to leftovers. She felt bullied when asked to eat leftovers. Recently, she cooked fried rice in the afternoon. There was some leftover. She left them aside and ate white rice with the dinner. I asked her to eat that too cos no point keeping it in the fridge. She stammered and said full and will have them for breakfast. I told her not to be choosy and left for NTUC. When I was out, she sobbed and told my hubby she is eating them and ask him to tell me. Once, I taught her to cook salty duck soup. I deliberately asked her to cut the whole drum out. When it was dinner time, she dish out the soup and hid the drum( the size oa our palm) in the pot with the salted veg. My mum discovered it and took it out. We did not tell her off atall, not even mention about it.
I really need advises her whether I should keep her or take the risk of changing a new one. My hubby and my mum ask me to close an eye but I am with her so often that her face really irks me now. I hope to settle these issues before I head back to work in Mar.
 
Hi emma, sorry for the delay, been traveling for work and only got back today.. here's the pic of the uniform i got for my maid


687587.jpg


taken during my daughter's first birthday party, sorry couldn't find a full length one. I got the uniform in Manila (I gave birth there), there are different types and colours depending on what you prefer. I got her pants so she can easily bend down to carry baby or pick up things and not worry about the skirt riding up or anything. How did I tell her? Actually I didn't tell her anything coz when she I hired her, I was still doing confinement in my Mum's house and all my mums maids wear uniform even if they're just at home, so she sort of accepted she will have to wear one too. When we moved back to Singapore, I just told her she only has to wear it when we go out, can wear her other stuff at home but i got her those coloured Giordano round neck tees to wear so she will look more neat.

Someone in the thread said the uniforms are available in Holland vill but if you need, I can get for you when I go to Manila on biz trips...
 
ribenagr8s

I empathize with you. I cannot tolerate greed for food and my maid is like this too. My mum asked me to close one eye too cos coming from their background they probably are deprived of food so what we have are considered delicacy even if it is just necessity to us. It will simmer down after a few months when they realize food is "consistently" good and in abundance in Singapore. However do pep talk on eating limits and stealing money otherwise it will amass to more conflicts in future.

I think chemistry is important. If looking at her face make you sick then it's better you change the maid to make it less torturous for both parties. Getting the next one is a gamble cos could be better or worse.
 
ribenagr8s,
Not sure what you mean by trying to accomodate you. A maid must follow all our instructions, whether they like it or not. It is part of the job requirement. If she does not follow, or display unhappiness, then there is no point keeping her.

Is your maid filipino or Indonesian ? Some maids may come from a well-off family, thinking they can come to Singapore to play, not to work. Both my hubby and myself also eat leftover food, I will not tolerate a maid who doesn't. Actually you don't have to care about whether she likes it or not. Just like when our boss ask us to do things, they will also not care about whether we like it or not.
 
my maid is sick again, she told me this morning she in pain, i already took her to doc on Mon. I asked her she drank enough water and this time she has to pay the medical bill.

Yesterday, i discovered my cans of green tea one of them is missing. I bought 24 cans and all of a sudden, left only 10. I everyday stock count and yest came home found one missing. I ask her did she drink and she says no. then i ask her how come is missing she just keeps mum. I am so angry.

The today she said she is in pain, how to beleive her whether genuine or not.

i also wish to change maid but the thought of training and the risk of hiring another one, dono who the person might turn out to be, worries me. I will just bear with it.

She also has mannerism problem, i need to tell her to say thank you to my parent when they bought her food to eat. when my parents come, she can just eat her lunch without calling them or smile at them.

anyway she does not even call me mdm, very seldom. talk to her sometimes very slow response.
 
patsy
thk for the info, how much is the uniform?

I not sure whether my maid will like it as she likes to dress nicely when we go out.
 
tamarind,
will request for a copy of the contract. agency told us we can send her back if i am dissatisfied with her. everything will be pro-rated. is it i don't have to give her off days at all? not even once in a long long time? just compensate with $20 per month? i'd rather not let her have day offs... wonder what she will do... agency said she can come next week... a bit excited yet apprehensive... heard so much horror stories of maids... sigh... can only pray for good luck...
 
alabone,
She will have to agree to take the compensation of $20, and have no off-day. You can ask the agency to check with her. Some maids will agree, some maids will not. Actually your agency should have made it clear to you earlier about the compensation in lieu of off day, then you would have chosen one who agrees to no off day.
 
my maid is fresh from indo with no prior working experience. me so elated today. my mum finally understood what i have been trying to say. My maid WILL NOT EAT leftover if we do not eat the leftovers. She expects everything to be the same for employee and employer. Tamarind, I like your sentence - Actually you don't have to care about whether she likes it or not. Just like when our boss ask us to do things, they will also not care about whether we like it or not.
 
Yes, I totally agree. Imagine if my boss tells me to do things in a particular way, do I have the gall to tell him "NO!"???!!! Or if my contract is 21 days' leave, how can I then bargain with him after having started work that I want additional days' off?!?!
I just don't understand. My ex-maid was another one of those who stole food. I buy her tins of biscuits, her own supply of milo, unlimted tea and coffee, occasional kuih. Yet, she still stole a piece of our cake (not meant for her) and flatly denied it!
 
In my company, an employee will be fired if he/she takes home any company property without permission.

Employer-maid relation should be no difference from company-employee relation. A maid is not a relative/friend working for us for free. We pay them a salary to work for us. If they are not happy, they can find another employer. If they don't suit our requirement, we can also find another maid.

My maid 8 just told me she wants to transfer to a new employer. She wants to find an employer who will allow her to talk on the phone whole day, and take afternoon naps. She also doesn't want to take care of babies/toddlers or old people. I am already her 6th employer, almost all of her past employments were for a few months only. She is determined to change until she finds an employer who suits her "requirements", even though it means she is always working to pay off the loan.
 
tamarind,
sounds like i was conned. will check with agency again. i called them and she told me maid flying to singapore tomorrow. then i ask when can pick her up coz i know maids have to stay there for training right? she said if i want, thurs night can go pick her already. like quite fast hor? can advise if maid don't stay there long enough good or not? or it doesn't matter. the training with the agent i mean.
 
tamarind,
wah your maid so fussy ah?! how to find this kind of employer one? which maid is this one?? the one taking care of your father or the one taking care of your kids?
 
tamarind,
You mean your current maid wants to take afternoon nap, talk to the phone whole day??? This is ridiculous!!! Some more prefer not to take care of your kids?? Only recently she told all the her requirements?
 
Lani, annlee,
This maid is currently taking care of my kids. Actually when she works for me, she is OK, she will follow all instructions, do all the work, and will not show unhappiness. But now after 4 months, she has finished paying the loan already, she asks to leave to find a "better" job.

When I selected her, she never told me all her requirements. She also knew that she cannot "choose" employer. If she cannot find a new employer within 3 weeks she will have to go back to Indonesia. Her tactic is to keep changing until she finds an employer she likes, then she will work longer.

alabone,
I have been to many agencies, and all of them told me that I can compensate for off day. I am surprised that your agency never tell you this.
It doesn't matter how long they stay for training, it is totally useless. You still have to train her everything.
 
tamarind,
oh i see. then just let her go lor. didn't you tell me before that you plan to keep 1 maid eventually (the one taking care of your father)?
 
tamarind,
they did tell me but at e same time, also told me i hv to give day off even if it's once in a couple of mths. am getting so stressed abt maid matters tt i had a nightmare abt my maid being disobdient n all... sigh...
 
Lani,
Right now I still need 2 maids, because Jerome is still very sticky and needs a lot of attention. Furthermore my father likes to go out and needs a maid to push him around in the wheelchair. He can walk short distances only. I need another maid for at least one more year.

alabone,
Don't be too stressed. Just remember that if this maid is no good, you can always send her back and get another one. Hiring maid is like this, got to get used to changing maids.
 
Hi,

Need some comments..i've selected a maid from a agency and she's in the progress of coming over.However, last week, just before cny, the agency called me and said that the maid i've selected was caught stealing over at the training centre in Indonesia, asking me if I still wanna go ahead to process her to come over...of cos I dun wan, thus got to re-select and wait for the process again....wanna know if you think the agency is telling me a lie, will they be so kind to inform me of the incidents, or they have passed the maid to some one else cos I've not made any payments yet, and on the day I confirmed on the maid, the agency personnel told me that her boss client also interested in this maid....anyone knows anywhere to check if the maid is processed to work in singapore?
 
moomookoo,
You will need her work permit number to check at MOM online website. But the agency will not tell you. Another way is if you have the full name/passport number, you can call MOM to check.
 
hi all,
Happy Chinese New Year!!

Like to check with experienced mummies, how to send $ back home for my Indonesian maid? She says last time her brother send a "paper" home and her mum go collect $ from Post Office. I guess that's a money order. Other than doing it at SingPost, where else?
TIA!!
 
This is a new one!

I assume you are referring to an Indonesian maid. Indonesian agents claim that they have to pay "sponsors" (those who know have gained the trust of the kampong folks enough to be permitted to escort their daughters to Jakarta where they are trained before going overseas to work) when they escort a kampong girl to register with their agency. The amount they have to pay the "sponsor" is apparently split between the "sponsor" and the maid-in-training's parents. This amount is several hundred dollars.

After paying a couple of hundred bucks or more, do you think the Agent will just write it off and send the girl back to her kampong?
 
Hi Tamarind,

I do not have any details, so I cannot check from MOM rite?...seems like there's no way to prove if the agency's word is true...
by the way, your agency allows unlimited change of maid for how many times?
 
Karl Tan,
Intermares is the name of a maid agency, right ?

Sorry if I blew your cover. But you are most welcome here. We need a true maid expert here !
 
moomooko,
Then there is no way to check lor.

I have used quite a few agencies. Most will allow 1 time change only. One agency allow me to have unlimited change for 1 year. But it's not completely free, still need to pay $60 document fee.

Actually most important thing is to find a maid agency which will refund you the maid loan if you decide not to take another maid from them. Make sure it is written down in black and white. You don't want your $2000 to be tied down to one agency.
 
hi all mummies,
haven't joined this thread for some time.

my maid's contract will exprire on 1st july, but looks like she is already having her holiday mood now. am contemplating whether to get a new maid b4 she gives me more problems.

however, i dun 1 2 go bk to the old agency i took ker from. any mums has any suggestions for maid agencies? thanks in advance.
 
hi ladies
If I'm getting a transfer maid who have worked in singapore for 5mths, do I still have to pay for her loan to the agency?
I'm sending my maid back, she has worked for me for 5mths, so 1 more month left b4 she finish paying her loan to the agency. Anyone knows if she has to pay the agency another 6mths loan again if she finds a new employer?
 
lani,
I also read somewhere that the Phillipines govt is setting a min wage for maids to be about S$600.
Dunno when it'll take effect here but i think it's in effect in the Middle East from Jan 07.
If i'm not wrong, it'll affect new maids coming from the Phillipines cos the Labour dept will only approve the visa if the contract from the recruitment agencies meet the min wage.

In my opinion, they are just pricing themselves out of the competition. Employers will just turn to other countries for domestic workers, unless they all decide to set a min wage also.

i also caught a bit of the chinese news just now. A filipino maid currently working here was interviewed and she said that she's willing to accept a pay lower the the stipulated min level cos she needs the job.
 
babygrace,
yah, cause i saw headlines in some chinese newspaper that filipino maid salary gone up by 100%, and as a result supply has dropped immediately by 60%!

you are right, they are REALLY pricing themselves out of the competition!
 
I guess maid these days are getting more and more daring. My maid changed after a year of working with me too....

Many told me to send her back but am buying time cos the problem is not too serious as yet. Bottom line she still does her work and take good care of my son...For my part, I am showing her that she is not indispensable ...she sensed it and mellow down.
 
Lani,babygrace,
I think very soon there will be no more filipino maids in Singapore.

I just hope and pray that the Indonesian government don't decide to follow.

I think the birth rate in Singapore will drop further. May be in future the government will give maid subsidy instead of levy !
 
lis,
Yes you will still have to pay her loan, but it should be a lot less.

As for the maid you are sending back, it depends on the agency. One agency I know made the maid pay another 8 months. Other agencies make the maid pay only the remaining loan.
 


Hi Mummies,
My maid's contract will expires in Sept. Anyone has any good agency to recommend me? Pls pm me. I want to start looking early to get a competent one.

Any tips? I need someone who can take care of 3 kids and usual housekeeping. No cooking. But need to follow my mum to market every week to help to carry groceries.

I really need a good agency who can shortlist few choice for me instead of me searching their piles of biodatas.
 
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