Advise on Baby & Maid Exps
- Thread starter erkerk
- Start date
babycutie,
oh...i thought you having #3...esp since that time you said your "factory" closed liao!! wow, you really gonna get the maid to take care of 3 kids ah?? can she handle or not? in that case better look for a maid that is experienced (maybe ex SIN), esp one that's taken care of at least 2-4 kids in one household before, rather than a fresh one.
oh...i thought you having #3...esp since that time you said your "factory" closed liao!! wow, you really gonna get the maid to take care of 3 kids ah?? can she handle or not? in that case better look for a maid that is experienced (maybe ex SIN), esp one that's taken care of at least 2-4 kids in one household before, rather than a fresh one.
Lani,
Belvia will still attend CC during weekdays, so she will only take care of 2 kids. Nite time she needs to take care of 2 because my bro will fetch her girl back.
When Jayden turns 2 next Feb, we will let him attend half day and eventually full day CC and Belvia will continue to attend full day. So the maid only needs to take care of my brother kid by then.
Eventually, she only gets to take care of 2 kids.
On weekday - <font color="ff0000">Daytime: Jayden and Amelia (my bro girl)</font> <font color="0000ff">Nighttime: Jayden and Belvia (Amelia has gone home with my brother)</font>
On weekend - Day & Night: Jayden and Belvia
Belvia will still attend CC during weekdays, so she will only take care of 2 kids. Nite time she needs to take care of 2 because my bro will fetch her girl back.
When Jayden turns 2 next Feb, we will let him attend half day and eventually full day CC and Belvia will continue to attend full day. So the maid only needs to take care of my brother kid by then.
Eventually, she only gets to take care of 2 kids.
On weekday - <font color="ff0000">Daytime: Jayden and Amelia (my bro girl)</font> <font color="0000ff">Nighttime: Jayden and Belvia (Amelia has gone home with my brother)</font>
On weekend - Day & Night: Jayden and Belvia
coffeedrinker
Member
Just selected a PH maid. Fresh to take care my girl 1.5 yr old.
Well, she is experience in her own baby, I don't like those exp working maid.
any mummies here can give me tips on how to do a smooth transition (old maid go, new maid come )
New maid will be here around mid March.
Well, she is experience in her own baby, I don't like those exp working maid.
any mummies here can give me tips on how to do a smooth transition (old maid go, new maid come )
New maid will be here around mid March.
tricia_helfer
New Member
tamarind, lani
i saw the list of food that you buy for your maid to cook for herself. i also thinking of doing the same, but i have 2 qns:
1. how will you know if she also cook for herself the other food that you buy for the family when you are not watching?
2. since she doesn't get to eat whatever that she cooks for the family, then no incentive to prepare/cook properly, right? I mean can we trust that she will wash the meat/veg/fish before cooking, not spike the food etc if she is upset (which is unavoidable at times).
On a related issue:
do you allow your maid to help themselves to fruits/milk/juices etc or any other food that you have in the fridge/kitchen?
The problem i see is if they are not allowed to eat the cheese or manuka honey i have in the fridge, then they may tempted to "steal" the forbidden fruit whenever i am not at home. But if I allow them to take what they want, they may just like it so much that they eat too much of it!
how?? pls advise. thanks a lot!
i saw the list of food that you buy for your maid to cook for herself. i also thinking of doing the same, but i have 2 qns:
1. how will you know if she also cook for herself the other food that you buy for the family when you are not watching?
2. since she doesn't get to eat whatever that she cooks for the family, then no incentive to prepare/cook properly, right? I mean can we trust that she will wash the meat/veg/fish before cooking, not spike the food etc if she is upset (which is unavoidable at times).
On a related issue:
do you allow your maid to help themselves to fruits/milk/juices etc or any other food that you have in the fridge/kitchen?
The problem i see is if they are not allowed to eat the cheese or manuka honey i have in the fridge, then they may tempted to "steal" the forbidden fruit whenever i am not at home. But if I allow them to take what they want, they may just like it so much that they eat too much of it!
how?? pls advise. thanks a lot!
tricia,
the list of ingredients we listed is for the maid to cook her own food ONLY when we are not home or not eating our meals at home, and she is home. for eg, lunch i hardly cook, so all those ingredients is for her to prepare her own lunch as and when she feels like it. weekends also hubby and i go out with our dd, and we don't bring the maid along with us, so those ingredients are for her to cook her own dinner when we are not home.
on normal days when we are home for dinner, she will cook our dinner (usually 2 dishes) and she will also eat the same food as us. after she finish cooking i will scoop out her portion for her and keep them in the microwave oven, so that she can eat them later.
on your 2nd issue - that's very hard to decide. you need to see your maid's character lor, and see if she is the kind if you "offer one hand will take a whole leg" or the kind will appreciate any generous gesture/offer from you and will not abuse it.
if she is the 1st kind, then best to restrict what you give her, cause she will end up taking all your good stuff without a care in the world. but if she is the 2nd type, then maybe you can be a little more flexible on what she is allowed to consume.
for my maid, she is the 2nd type. when she 1st came, i made it clear that she is only to eat what we have specified for her. but after a while i notice that she is really great and will never steal, waste food, etc, so i offered her more and more things. sometimes even when i buy food for her (eg biscuits, tidbits, etc) she will say "no need lah, maam, so much food how to finish?"
the list of ingredients we listed is for the maid to cook her own food ONLY when we are not home or not eating our meals at home, and she is home. for eg, lunch i hardly cook, so all those ingredients is for her to prepare her own lunch as and when she feels like it. weekends also hubby and i go out with our dd, and we don't bring the maid along with us, so those ingredients are for her to cook her own dinner when we are not home.
on normal days when we are home for dinner, she will cook our dinner (usually 2 dishes) and she will also eat the same food as us. after she finish cooking i will scoop out her portion for her and keep them in the microwave oven, so that she can eat them later.
on your 2nd issue - that's very hard to decide. you need to see your maid's character lor, and see if she is the kind if you "offer one hand will take a whole leg" or the kind will appreciate any generous gesture/offer from you and will not abuse it.
if she is the 1st kind, then best to restrict what you give her, cause she will end up taking all your good stuff without a care in the world. but if she is the 2nd type, then maybe you can be a little more flexible on what she is allowed to consume.
for my maid, she is the 2nd type. when she 1st came, i made it clear that she is only to eat what we have specified for her. but after a while i notice that she is really great and will never steal, waste food, etc, so i offered her more and more things. sometimes even when i buy food for her (eg biscuits, tidbits, etc) she will say "no need lah, maam, so much food how to finish?"
babycutie,
i didn't get my maid from any agency. i got her as a transfer maid from another mummy on this forum. that mummy was able to vouch for her, saying that she is an excellent maid who is hardworking, respectful and has good attitude. so far i am very pleased with her performance and attitude.
i didn't get my maid from any agency. i got her as a transfer maid from another mummy on this forum. that mummy was able to vouch for her, saying that she is an excellent maid who is hardworking, respectful and has good attitude. so far i am very pleased with her performance and attitude.
cheerful747
Active Member
Lani
How long has your maid been with you?Why the exemployer want to let go her....
How long has your maid been with you?Why the exemployer want to let go her....
tricia_helfer
New Member
Lani, thanks.
please allow me to vent. My maid recently complained that she doesn't have enough meat/veg to eat. She eats same food as us most of the time, and i scoop out her portion first but she eats after us. In the beginning I used to give her a lot of meat/veg and rice, but then she said it is too much. So I reduce amount and sometimes I notice she still can't finish. So I am quite mad that she now said I didn't feed her enough as the amount I give her is IMO quite a lot still for any normal person.
I don't want to spoil her and ask her to scoop her food herself before we eat, as it will be hard to tell her to take less if she decides to take a lot. And she knows what are the expensive/good stuff as she has worked in SGP for 10 yrs.
When we eat cod/steak/some other expensive food at home, which happens once or twice a week, i usually get her to cook some other meat/fish and she will have that.
On days when we eat out and she stays at home, I asked her to cook her own dinner, but she often ended up cooking instant noodles and egg for herself. She doesn't like the idea of batch cooking and freeze portions for future as she thinks eating frozen food makes her weak. But if I buy her separate portion of chicken/sausages etc to add to her noodles, I am concerned that she will eat them all up within days.
I don't want to underfeed her but also don't want to be taken advantage of. Pity I think she is not the grateful kind. When she first came, I knew she likes papaya so we bought one and asked her to cut a piece for herself. she took a tiny piece. Next week, when I bought another one, I didn't even say anything and she cut herself a big piece and it is the ripest part which is sweetest and give us the rest that is not sweet.
For first few months, she handwashed her clothes and would use so much laundry powder (which means she also wasted a lot of water rinsing later) that you can still smell the laundry powder 3 hours later and her clothes smell so nice! When she handwashed my and my hb's clothes, our clothes never smelled nice!
recently i caught her disobeying instructions by using the more expensive grapeseed oil to fry instead of cheaper veg oil. when i ask her why she knowingly disobey, she said "sorry lah, just a little bit of oil". i got mad, told her off that it is not the oil, but it's her disobeying instructions. then she replied 'because she likes the more expensive oil as it is better for health'.
my hb thinks i should change maid straightaway, but i have 2 small kids and changing/retraining maid is so tiring. my maid is good othewise when it comes to housekeeping, cooking and looking after my kids. She tends to be forgetful but i can live with that. just that when she makes mistakes, and i tell her off, sometimes she just keep quiet and doesn't say "sorry mdm" which i find very rude.
sorry ladies for my longwinded post. i am so frustrated lately and have been losing sleep. not sure whether to change maid as there are good things about her, and i know there must be many more others who are worse. any advice would be appreciated. thanks
please allow me to vent. My maid recently complained that she doesn't have enough meat/veg to eat. She eats same food as us most of the time, and i scoop out her portion first but she eats after us. In the beginning I used to give her a lot of meat/veg and rice, but then she said it is too much. So I reduce amount and sometimes I notice she still can't finish. So I am quite mad that she now said I didn't feed her enough as the amount I give her is IMO quite a lot still for any normal person.
I don't want to spoil her and ask her to scoop her food herself before we eat, as it will be hard to tell her to take less if she decides to take a lot. And she knows what are the expensive/good stuff as she has worked in SGP for 10 yrs.
When we eat cod/steak/some other expensive food at home, which happens once or twice a week, i usually get her to cook some other meat/fish and she will have that.
On days when we eat out and she stays at home, I asked her to cook her own dinner, but she often ended up cooking instant noodles and egg for herself. She doesn't like the idea of batch cooking and freeze portions for future as she thinks eating frozen food makes her weak. But if I buy her separate portion of chicken/sausages etc to add to her noodles, I am concerned that she will eat them all up within days.
I don't want to underfeed her but also don't want to be taken advantage of. Pity I think she is not the grateful kind. When she first came, I knew she likes papaya so we bought one and asked her to cut a piece for herself. she took a tiny piece. Next week, when I bought another one, I didn't even say anything and she cut herself a big piece and it is the ripest part which is sweetest and give us the rest that is not sweet.
For first few months, she handwashed her clothes and would use so much laundry powder (which means she also wasted a lot of water rinsing later) that you can still smell the laundry powder 3 hours later and her clothes smell so nice! When she handwashed my and my hb's clothes, our clothes never smelled nice!
recently i caught her disobeying instructions by using the more expensive grapeseed oil to fry instead of cheaper veg oil. when i ask her why she knowingly disobey, she said "sorry lah, just a little bit of oil". i got mad, told her off that it is not the oil, but it's her disobeying instructions. then she replied 'because she likes the more expensive oil as it is better for health'.
my hb thinks i should change maid straightaway, but i have 2 small kids and changing/retraining maid is so tiring. my maid is good othewise when it comes to housekeeping, cooking and looking after my kids. She tends to be forgetful but i can live with that. just that when she makes mistakes, and i tell her off, sometimes she just keep quiet and doesn't say "sorry mdm" which i find very rude.
sorry ladies for my longwinded post. i am so frustrated lately and have been losing sleep. not sure whether to change maid as there are good things about her, and i know there must be many more others who are worse. any advice would be appreciated. thanks
Tricia,
I think for your case, it would be better for you to buy separate food for your maid.
I have used 7 maids over 4 years. I always buy food separately for them. In my case, I only eat cod fish or salmon, and my mother will make special soup for me with lots of expensive herbs. It doesn't make sense for the maid to share my food. I never have a problem of them eating our food. Taking what is not given to them, will be equivalent to stealing, and all of them knew that.
I also don't have a problem of maids spiking the food. They know very well that they will be sent back if I find out. When I want to send back a maid, I will not tell her anything beforehand. I will only give her 1 hour notice to pack, so she has no chance to spike my food.
I have read problems about maids and food. I never have any problem with overeating, because our food is always separated. I will buy a fixed amount of food every month, nothing more. I got a maid who used to finish 1 bottle of peanut butter and 1 huge tin of milo in 1 week. I didn't replenish, so she had to eat bread and plain butter for breakfast for some time. After that she learnt to ration herself. I didn't need to say anything at all.
For your case, just buy a reasonable amount of meat/vegetable. Personally I feel that what I buy is very reasonable for a maid. I will not accept it when a maid tell me that she has not enough to eat. In fact, none of my 7 maids have ever told me they don't have enough to eat.
I think for your case, it would be better for you to buy separate food for your maid.
I have used 7 maids over 4 years. I always buy food separately for them. In my case, I only eat cod fish or salmon, and my mother will make special soup for me with lots of expensive herbs. It doesn't make sense for the maid to share my food. I never have a problem of them eating our food. Taking what is not given to them, will be equivalent to stealing, and all of them knew that.
I also don't have a problem of maids spiking the food. They know very well that they will be sent back if I find out. When I want to send back a maid, I will not tell her anything beforehand. I will only give her 1 hour notice to pack, so she has no chance to spike my food.
I have read problems about maids and food. I never have any problem with overeating, because our food is always separated. I will buy a fixed amount of food every month, nothing more. I got a maid who used to finish 1 bottle of peanut butter and 1 huge tin of milo in 1 week. I didn't replenish, so she had to eat bread and plain butter for breakfast for some time. After that she learnt to ration herself. I didn't need to say anything at all.
For your case, just buy a reasonable amount of meat/vegetable. Personally I feel that what I buy is very reasonable for a maid. I will not accept it when a maid tell me that she has not enough to eat. In fact, none of my 7 maids have ever told me they don't have enough to eat.
tricia_helfer
New Member
tamarind, thanks.
but if i buy my maid fixed amount of food, say 1 bottle of jam and milo a month. She can always steal some of mine so that hers can last longer. so how to know unless i install a spy camera?
how do you keep the food separate? In our case, they are all in the kitchen cabinets, even if i give her a separate kitchen cabinet to store her food, she can always take from my organic teabags, or organic jam in the morning when we are not watching.
also, if i buy her chicken breast/fish to be kept in the freezer to cook over the week, she can also cook our family ration of chicken breast for herself and hard for me to know, unless i actually keep track of the portions myself. So tedious, yeah.
Please help! thanks
but if i buy my maid fixed amount of food, say 1 bottle of jam and milo a month. She can always steal some of mine so that hers can last longer. so how to know unless i install a spy camera?
how do you keep the food separate? In our case, they are all in the kitchen cabinets, even if i give her a separate kitchen cabinet to store her food, she can always take from my organic teabags, or organic jam in the morning when we are not watching.
also, if i buy her chicken breast/fish to be kept in the freezer to cook over the week, she can also cook our family ration of chicken breast for herself and hard for me to know, unless i actually keep track of the portions myself. So tedious, yeah.
Please help! thanks
babycutie,
yes, my maid's main job is housekeeping. but now that she's been with us for almost 9mths and my dd is older, i have learnt to trust her more with my dd, eg. i allow her to change my dd's diapers, feed her milk, feed her meals, she also sometimes dresses my dd after her bath. she also watches my dd alot in the daytime, so that i am free to do my stuff ard the house.
for the mums who are not familiar with my situation, i am a SAHM and our purpose for hiring the maid was for household chores. i did most of the childcare aspects, ie. bathe my dd, feed her, changed her after her bath, change diapers, cook all her food, prepared her milk, feed her milk, put her down for nap/bedtime. my maid only did all the washing (ie washing dd's clothes, bottles, cutlery), help prepare bath and clear bath, help watch my dd when i am busy.
now i have slowly handed over some of those chores to the maid, but still not much, because i am still not comfortable with her doing some of those chores, esp cooking/preparing my dd's food, making her milk, bathing her and putting her down to nap/bedtime.
joy,
her ex-employer had a valid reason for giving up the maid. her kids were initially taken care of by her MIL, but then MIL got stricken w/ cancer, so she had to employ a maid to help out. but due to financial constraint, the allowance she used to give to MIL had to be used to pay for maid expenses. then when her MIL got better, the MIL requested to take care of the kids again, which also means that she can get her mthly allowance back. so she had no choice but to let the maid go.
tricia,
i don't think i can be of much help. it's really hard to deal with a maid like yours, ie. one that doesn't really obey and who is ungrateful. whether to change maid or keep her, you will need to weigh the pros and cons. if you feel you can tolerate all her shortcomings, then by all means keep her and REALLY close one eye. but if you really can't, and your hubby is pestering you to change also, then just change and hope for the best!
yes, my maid's main job is housekeeping. but now that she's been with us for almost 9mths and my dd is older, i have learnt to trust her more with my dd, eg. i allow her to change my dd's diapers, feed her milk, feed her meals, she also sometimes dresses my dd after her bath. she also watches my dd alot in the daytime, so that i am free to do my stuff ard the house.
for the mums who are not familiar with my situation, i am a SAHM and our purpose for hiring the maid was for household chores. i did most of the childcare aspects, ie. bathe my dd, feed her, changed her after her bath, change diapers, cook all her food, prepared her milk, feed her milk, put her down for nap/bedtime. my maid only did all the washing (ie washing dd's clothes, bottles, cutlery), help prepare bath and clear bath, help watch my dd when i am busy.
now i have slowly handed over some of those chores to the maid, but still not much, because i am still not comfortable with her doing some of those chores, esp cooking/preparing my dd's food, making her milk, bathing her and putting her down to nap/bedtime.
joy,
her ex-employer had a valid reason for giving up the maid. her kids were initially taken care of by her MIL, but then MIL got stricken w/ cancer, so she had to employ a maid to help out. but due to financial constraint, the allowance she used to give to MIL had to be used to pay for maid expenses. then when her MIL got better, the MIL requested to take care of the kids again, which also means that she can get her mthly allowance back. so she had no choice but to let the maid go.
tricia,
i don't think i can be of much help. it's really hard to deal with a maid like yours, ie. one that doesn't really obey and who is ungrateful. whether to change maid or keep her, you will need to weigh the pros and cons. if you feel you can tolerate all her shortcomings, then by all means keep her and REALLY close one eye. but if you really can't, and your hubby is pestering you to change also, then just change and hope for the best!
coffeedrinker
Member
Tricia
I normally tell my maid that I will buy groceries once a month . except for fresh stuff like veg and fish.
so she know she only get replenish her food once a month (jam, butter, coffee)
"Luckily, my maid fot allergy to chicken , seafood, egg.. so she is left with veg.and fish ball, she cannot eat instant noodles that is chicken /seafood.. which she is left with "Chu qian yi ting" instant noodles. she cannot drink too many coffee as she will get sleepless night, which she feel tired the next day, so she only drink once a day.
We don't have premium food at home. we eat out every weekday.. we will cook premium food (salmon, beef, cod fish..on the day we bought the food.. e.g sunday morning buy.. dinner will cook liao)
Well, my maid eats what we eat. she got 2 small cube piece of beef if we cook, she got a small bowl of herb soup if she drink..
My hubby will say me : if you worry about she will steal to eat.. then don't buy and keep at home.
Previously, I even separate the type of rice we eat and the type of fish she eat/we eat, the type of coffee she takes.
It is so tiring for me and After some time.. I change my mind. Those that she take (jam, coffee, bread, rice) we eat the same. We got on a habit that she can only eat thing that I say you can eat. so my maid don't dare even touch fruit. I will bring out an apple and put near the sink area and tell her the apple is for you.
I will sometime say, she can eat 2 biscuit from this box tomorrow.
So she become a habit that she will only eat things when I instructed except for the 3 meals, which she know which is her.
Personally, I feels that if she wants to steal your food , you cannot prevent unless you stop buying your premium thing. Importantly is get her into habit. Sometime is becos she don't get to taste it so she resort to "steal food" if maid get to eat what you eat, even though small quantity, they will be contented.
When I open a can of desert (longan) I give her 3 longan, 3 ice ice, some syrup in her cup.
We give her 1/5 of the "expensive fish".
When I make cooling water (barley, waterchestnut), I give her 1/2 a cup
as for our organic teabag and milo, my maid don't take as I did not instruct her to drink.
But of course, your maid must worth the above "good treatment" with her good work.
My maid is good, but these 2 month she become bad, I cut out premium food by not cooking at home and not bring her out with us.
I normally tell my maid that I will buy groceries once a month . except for fresh stuff like veg and fish.
so she know she only get replenish her food once a month (jam, butter, coffee)
"Luckily, my maid fot allergy to chicken , seafood, egg.. so she is left with veg.and fish ball, she cannot eat instant noodles that is chicken /seafood.. which she is left with "Chu qian yi ting" instant noodles. she cannot drink too many coffee as she will get sleepless night, which she feel tired the next day, so she only drink once a day.
We don't have premium food at home. we eat out every weekday.. we will cook premium food (salmon, beef, cod fish..on the day we bought the food.. e.g sunday morning buy.. dinner will cook liao)
Well, my maid eats what we eat. she got 2 small cube piece of beef if we cook, she got a small bowl of herb soup if she drink..
My hubby will say me : if you worry about she will steal to eat.. then don't buy and keep at home.
Previously, I even separate the type of rice we eat and the type of fish she eat/we eat, the type of coffee she takes.
It is so tiring for me and After some time.. I change my mind. Those that she take (jam, coffee, bread, rice) we eat the same. We got on a habit that she can only eat thing that I say you can eat. so my maid don't dare even touch fruit. I will bring out an apple and put near the sink area and tell her the apple is for you.
I will sometime say, she can eat 2 biscuit from this box tomorrow.
So she become a habit that she will only eat things when I instructed except for the 3 meals, which she know which is her.
Personally, I feels that if she wants to steal your food , you cannot prevent unless you stop buying your premium thing. Importantly is get her into habit. Sometime is becos she don't get to taste it so she resort to "steal food" if maid get to eat what you eat, even though small quantity, they will be contented.
When I open a can of desert (longan) I give her 3 longan, 3 ice ice, some syrup in her cup.
We give her 1/5 of the "expensive fish".
When I make cooling water (barley, waterchestnut), I give her 1/2 a cup
as for our organic teabag and milo, my maid don't take as I did not instruct her to drink.
But of course, your maid must worth the above "good treatment" with her good work.
My maid is good, but these 2 month she become bad, I cut out premium food by not cooking at home and not bring her out with us.
cheerful747
Active Member
Hi Lani
I think I came across that forum too...Good to know that you got a good maid.
Tricia
I understand your frustration. Guess you have to weigh the pro and con in having her.For my maid,she has diet problem and I tried my best to correct her as she still has got some saving grace.
I think I came across that forum too...Good to know that you got a good maid.
Tricia
I understand your frustration. Guess you have to weigh the pro and con in having her.For my maid,she has diet problem and I tried my best to correct her as she still has got some saving grace.
ribenagr8s
Member
Tricia,
I face the same problem with you initially! I separated her food. Every mth, I will only replenish a tin of biscuits, a box of tea and 2 packets of instant noodles. She can have bread, butter in the morning. Sorry to say I think maids dont know how to ration food. They only live for the day.
I need to ask you babes here. My maid is still on loan and I do not give her allowance. She collected $46 in red packet money. I want her to spend some so she knows how expensive things are. She says she want to keep the money. Should I let her buy her own sanitary pads and phone card from now on from the $46 she has?
I face the same problem with you initially! I separated her food. Every mth, I will only replenish a tin of biscuits, a box of tea and 2 packets of instant noodles. She can have bread, butter in the morning. Sorry to say I think maids dont know how to ration food. They only live for the day.
I need to ask you babes here. My maid is still on loan and I do not give her allowance. She collected $46 in red packet money. I want her to spend some so she knows how expensive things are. She says she want to keep the money. Should I let her buy her own sanitary pads and phone card from now on from the $46 she has?
Tricia,
You should know easily if she steals your food, right ? Would you want to keep a maid that steals ? If she even cannot follow such simple instructions, can you trust your kids to her ? I have used 7 maids and none of them ate my food. I knew that very well because my mother supervises them and she is a very very particular about these things. I didn't have to give them a separate cabinet to keep their food.
You may want to give it a try. Give her a stern warning. If she still does it, then I agree with Lani that you should consider changing your maid.
ribenagr8s,
For phone cards, definitely let her use her own money. For sanitary pads, it's up to you. For me, I always provide pads for all my maids. I will be horrified if the maid tried to save money by saving on pads !!! I have heard a maid who washes her used pads, yikes !!!
You should know easily if she steals your food, right ? Would you want to keep a maid that steals ? If she even cannot follow such simple instructions, can you trust your kids to her ? I have used 7 maids and none of them ate my food. I knew that very well because my mother supervises them and she is a very very particular about these things. I didn't have to give them a separate cabinet to keep their food.
You may want to give it a try. Give her a stern warning. If she still does it, then I agree with Lani that you should consider changing your maid.
ribenagr8s,
For phone cards, definitely let her use her own money. For sanitary pads, it's up to you. For me, I always provide pads for all my maids. I will be horrified if the maid tried to save money by saving on pads !!! I have heard a maid who washes her used pads, yikes !!!
ribenagr8s
Member
how often should i let her call home with her phonecard? As she pleases? right now, she calls home once every 3 months with my hand phone.
ribenagr8s,
It's up to you, but certainly not as she pleased. I normally let my maids call home once a week. My current maid is a transfer maid, and she has a handphone when she came. I let her use the phone only after 10pm every night. I don't care who she calls, so long as she does not disturb us. She calls her hubby every night.
It's up to you, but certainly not as she pleased. I normally let my maids call home once a week. My current maid is a transfer maid, and she has a handphone when she came. I let her use the phone only after 10pm every night. I don't care who she calls, so long as she does not disturb us. She calls her hubby every night.
ribenagr8s
Member
Thanks Tamarind for your advise.
Will get her a $20 phonecard.
Will get her a $20 phonecard.
Hi Tricia,
Your maid has a attitude problem. I wont hv keep her any longer. Like what some moms here say, if u can't trust her, how can u trust her to take care of your kids? It will only take one incident to hurt your kids and u wont want to take that chance.
My previous maid is tat way too. I made a mistake of closing my eyes to her "high n mighty" ways. In the end, my dgt's hand got scalded and she insisted tat it's insect bite while she was sleeping. Lies and more lies, she got fatter and fatter along the way too.
Your maid has a attitude problem. I wont hv keep her any longer. Like what some moms here say, if u can't trust her, how can u trust her to take care of your kids? It will only take one incident to hurt your kids and u wont want to take that chance.
My previous maid is tat way too. I made a mistake of closing my eyes to her "high n mighty" ways. In the end, my dgt's hand got scalded and she insisted tat it's insect bite while she was sleeping. Lies and more lies, she got fatter and fatter along the way too.
Hi,
Anyone heard of AIS Employment? How is their service and the maid that they recommend?
Need comments
My mum would prefer to get a fresh maid that have not worked in Singapore before rather than get an experienced one.
She said that it is more easy to train a fresh one who have not worked in Sg rather than those who have. Those working Sg before tends to make comparison on their jobscope and usually asked for higher pay and more off days.
Anyone has any suggestions?
Anyone heard of AIS Employment? How is their service and the maid that they recommend?
Need comments
My mum would prefer to get a fresh maid that have not worked in Singapore before rather than get an experienced one.
She said that it is more easy to train a fresh one who have not worked in Sg rather than those who have. Those working Sg before tends to make comparison on their jobscope and usually asked for higher pay and more off days.
Anyone has any suggestions?
PinkPigs,
I totally agree with what you wrote : It will only take one incident to hurt your kids and u wont want to take that chance.
babycutie,
My 8th maid is also a fresh maid. I currently have another maid to take care of my father and helping with the kids, so this older maid can teach the new maid. It will keep the cost down, and also I don't have to give her any off days.
But you will have communication problem with fresh maid, even if your mother knows Malay. Not all indonesian maids can understand Malay well. Communication is going to be a big problem. Also their standards of hygiene is very different from ours, you really need to train very hard. So you must have a lot of patience.
I totally agree with what you wrote : It will only take one incident to hurt your kids and u wont want to take that chance.
babycutie,
My 8th maid is also a fresh maid. I currently have another maid to take care of my father and helping with the kids, so this older maid can teach the new maid. It will keep the cost down, and also I don't have to give her any off days.
But you will have communication problem with fresh maid, even if your mother knows Malay. Not all indonesian maids can understand Malay well. Communication is going to be a big problem. Also their standards of hygiene is very different from ours, you really need to train very hard. So you must have a lot of patience.
tricia_helfer
New Member
thanks mummies for your precious views.
coffeedrinker
Member
Mummies,
$370 Philippines maid , Fresh , no off day.. expensive ?
I don't know leh.. seem ex leh..
$370 Philippines maid , Fresh , no off day.. expensive ?
I don't know leh.. seem ex leh..
Hi Ladies,
Have you gals quarrelled with hubby or mothers or mil etc over maid discipline? I recently had argument with my mum cos she think I am harsh on the maid and keeps warning me the baby is 'in the hand' of the maid. My foot! Why should I be threatened this way? What is my right then as an employer?
I reprimanded the maid because she did not kick her bad habit of being self centred even though I have reminded her many times. This got worse over time now she has worked more than a year. Everything about herself eg. her food item running out, clothes to iron for outing, phonecard to buy etc. she will remember, but forgets about things we want her to do. When I questioned her she will reply with lots of reasons. The classic sentence is 'I actually want to do now' but only when I ask her. Yet she got the cheek to remind me in front of guests to do this and that. I got so frustrated I stop and questioned her is she the boss? And I told her I don't need reminder as I hardly forget things only she does.
During CNY, she was all set out to go visiting and earn ang pao that she lost her focus to do housework and prepare the baby's stuff. I caught her comparing with another maid who gave her how much and she got upset one of the relatives gave her $4 but the other maid $10. In the end I decided to gave her a wake up call and told her I will not reimburse the $120 ang pao monies to her until she dutifully finish her contract (just to discipline her only cos I have no intention to makan her money). She started crying. I asked her why did she cry she refused to reply. Do you think I have gone overboard?
There are alot of reports on maid being bullied but I feel maids can also cause employers emotional distress. Have to pay her salary, feed her, and accept her non-sense as if she is another child of ours.
Nevertheless, I will have to tolerate and keep her till end of contract like many mums here. How else do we working mums cope to use up leave to re-train another one from scratch? If Singapore living standard is not so high and one-income suffice, I will opt to be SAHM.
Have you gals quarrelled with hubby or mothers or mil etc over maid discipline? I recently had argument with my mum cos she think I am harsh on the maid and keeps warning me the baby is 'in the hand' of the maid. My foot! Why should I be threatened this way? What is my right then as an employer?
I reprimanded the maid because she did not kick her bad habit of being self centred even though I have reminded her many times. This got worse over time now she has worked more than a year. Everything about herself eg. her food item running out, clothes to iron for outing, phonecard to buy etc. she will remember, but forgets about things we want her to do. When I questioned her she will reply with lots of reasons. The classic sentence is 'I actually want to do now' but only when I ask her. Yet she got the cheek to remind me in front of guests to do this and that. I got so frustrated I stop and questioned her is she the boss? And I told her I don't need reminder as I hardly forget things only she does.
During CNY, she was all set out to go visiting and earn ang pao that she lost her focus to do housework and prepare the baby's stuff. I caught her comparing with another maid who gave her how much and she got upset one of the relatives gave her $4 but the other maid $10. In the end I decided to gave her a wake up call and told her I will not reimburse the $120 ang pao monies to her until she dutifully finish her contract (just to discipline her only cos I have no intention to makan her money). She started crying. I asked her why did she cry she refused to reply. Do you think I have gone overboard?
There are alot of reports on maid being bullied but I feel maids can also cause employers emotional distress. Have to pay her salary, feed her, and accept her non-sense as if she is another child of ours.
Nevertheless, I will have to tolerate and keep her till end of contract like many mums here. How else do we working mums cope to use up leave to re-train another one from scratch? If Singapore living standard is not so high and one-income suffice, I will opt to be SAHM.
cheerful747
Active Member
Courage
I understand what you are going through...
Guess how your maid behaved is her character.Also, maid worked here for some time, their true colours are all out. First year of CNY, my maid will hand me all the ang baos money she collected. I did not request. This year, she keeps everything....so, this just proved my point.
Lately, I also overheard my neighbour's filipino maid talked so rudely to her madam....madam still has to bow down to her...wonder what has been going on...
Anyway, courage, hang in there and slowly manage her. Initially I also feel like changing maid,due to her diet problem etc, but with PATIENCE talk and whatever management skills that I can use on her, she mellow down.To me, if I get another maid, down the road, another new set of problem may also surface so just has to manage them, if really serious case, then really has to let it go....
I understand what you are going through...
Guess how your maid behaved is her character.Also, maid worked here for some time, their true colours are all out. First year of CNY, my maid will hand me all the ang baos money she collected. I did not request. This year, she keeps everything....so, this just proved my point.
Lately, I also overheard my neighbour's filipino maid talked so rudely to her madam....madam still has to bow down to her...wonder what has been going on...
Anyway, courage, hang in there and slowly manage her. Initially I also feel like changing maid,due to her diet problem etc, but with PATIENCE talk and whatever management skills that I can use on her, she mellow down.To me, if I get another maid, down the road, another new set of problem may also surface so just has to manage them, if really serious case, then really has to let it go....
I agree. That is why I kept my current maid till now. Because she is also a selfish person who thinks of herself first. Constant reminds have to be given for the same task.
Anyway her contract will end Sept this year. I will start to look out for a replacement in July.
I do not intend to get someone that has worked in Sg before. My mum wants to train from scratch.
Anyway her contract will end Sept this year. I will start to look out for a replacement in July.
I do not intend to get someone that has worked in Sg before. My mum wants to train from scratch.
Courage, Joy747,
I am also a working mom, and I will not tolerate any such nonsense from the maid. I have sent back 4 maids in one year before. I take experienced maids, and always bring them in on weekends, and I don't need to take any leave to train them. My mother stays with me, so she helps to train and supervise them.
Other mommies with no one at home will have a bigger problem when changing maids. But a good and experienced maid does not need more than 1 or 2 days of training, which can be done over the weekend.
I have read about other mommies in this forum, who tried to tolerate a maid they are so disgusted with. But they still don't want to change, the reasons are usually
1. Cannot take leave to train the maid
2. Don't know whether the new maid will be worst than the current one
I am expecting my 8th maid this week. It's true that sometimes the new maid is worst than the old maid. But that is life. Nothing is guaranteed. Hiring a maid is like lottery, you got to accept the fact that you got to keep changing until you get a good one. Mommies who are not willing to change are taking a risk. If you keep a maid who is not happy to work with you, worst things can happen.
I am also a working mom, and I will not tolerate any such nonsense from the maid. I have sent back 4 maids in one year before. I take experienced maids, and always bring them in on weekends, and I don't need to take any leave to train them. My mother stays with me, so she helps to train and supervise them.
Other mommies with no one at home will have a bigger problem when changing maids. But a good and experienced maid does not need more than 1 or 2 days of training, which can be done over the weekend.
I have read about other mommies in this forum, who tried to tolerate a maid they are so disgusted with. But they still don't want to change, the reasons are usually
1. Cannot take leave to train the maid
2. Don't know whether the new maid will be worst than the current one
I am expecting my 8th maid this week. It's true that sometimes the new maid is worst than the old maid. But that is life. Nothing is guaranteed. Hiring a maid is like lottery, you got to accept the fact that you got to keep changing until you get a good one. Mommies who are not willing to change are taking a risk. If you keep a maid who is not happy to work with you, worst things can happen.
The reason why I do not want to change my current maid is because she is patient with my kids although selfish. My mum is particular in cleanliness hence cannot tolerate her dirtiness.
Also I paid a total of $788 for agent fee to bring in this maid (this is a replacement one from the same agency), hence we are not comfortable to pay some more fees to other agency.
Anyway I won't get maid from this agency in future.
Also I paid a total of $788 for agent fee to bring in this maid (this is a replacement one from the same agency), hence we are not comfortable to pay some more fees to other agency.
Anyway I won't get maid from this agency in future.
babycutie,
My current maid 7 worked for me for 4 months only. She asked to transfer, because she wants to find an easy job where she can have afternoon naps and talk on the phone all day. She is Indonesian, with 3 years experience. I am paying $300 with 1 off day. My new Indonesian maid is fresh, $280 with no off day. Personally I will not pay more than $300 for an experienced Indonesian maid, because her experience may not be relevant in my house. My maid 6 is hired to take care of my father, she has 6 years experience with one family, very good and reliable, only asking for $300 and 1 off day. I intend to keep her in the long term.
Wow $788 is very high ! My new agency fee is $88, I will not pay anything more than $300, because no agency can guarantee me a good maid. I don't think it is necessary to use a maid until her contract finish, because by then I will still need to pay new agency fee. It doesn't make a difference to me paying now or 2 years later.
Well you have to weigh the good points and bad points of your maid. If the good points outweighs the bad points, then it makes sense to keep her. No one is perfect. My maid 5 has helped me tremendously, she can take care of a newborn and an 18 month old, and can still cook and keep the house clean. I knew that she told lies about everything, but I was not bothered by that, because her lies didn't hurt me. I used her for 2 years 6 months. I sent her back only when I found out that she had many boyfriends in the neighbourhood, that is something that caused me emotional distress.
If the maid is giving the mommy emotional distress, then it is not worth to keep her.
My current maid 7 worked for me for 4 months only. She asked to transfer, because she wants to find an easy job where she can have afternoon naps and talk on the phone all day. She is Indonesian, with 3 years experience. I am paying $300 with 1 off day. My new Indonesian maid is fresh, $280 with no off day. Personally I will not pay more than $300 for an experienced Indonesian maid, because her experience may not be relevant in my house. My maid 6 is hired to take care of my father, she has 6 years experience with one family, very good and reliable, only asking for $300 and 1 off day. I intend to keep her in the long term.
Wow $788 is very high ! My new agency fee is $88, I will not pay anything more than $300, because no agency can guarantee me a good maid. I don't think it is necessary to use a maid until her contract finish, because by then I will still need to pay new agency fee. It doesn't make a difference to me paying now or 2 years later.
Well you have to weigh the good points and bad points of your maid. If the good points outweighs the bad points, then it makes sense to keep her. No one is perfect. My maid 5 has helped me tremendously, she can take care of a newborn and an 18 month old, and can still cook and keep the house clean. I knew that she told lies about everything, but I was not bothered by that, because her lies didn't hurt me. I used her for 2 years 6 months. I sent her back only when I found out that she had many boyfriends in the neighbourhood, that is something that caused me emotional distress.
If the maid is giving the mommy emotional distress, then it is not worth to keep her.
hi all,
i also have problems with my maid of 20 mths. she seems like having 'holiday' mood these days. so i sat down n had a talk with her.
i told her as she can c, i m expecting my 2nd child, there is a good chance dat i might extend her contract. however, if she is going to give me more problems, i will not hesitate 2 send her bk. i was not going to waste anymore time counselling her, scolding or talking to her nicely. if she is going 2 do watever she likes, i will just send her off immediately. i told her as an employer, i cannot tolerate a maid who can't help me much n yet give me lots of problems. if she performs her job well, she can stay till her contract finishes.
my tolerance limit is also hit. i m not going to tolerate a trouble maker. i hv being putting up wif her all this while cos she understands teochew dialect which my mil speaks. she had 3 n half yrs exp in Sing, but i really wonder wat she has been doing all dat time. but i cun keep putting up cos i m expecting again.
i just hv to take to risk of getting a new maid if my current maid keeps giving me problems.
tamarind is right, just hv to take the risk of getting a new maid.
i also have problems with my maid of 20 mths. she seems like having 'holiday' mood these days. so i sat down n had a talk with her.
i told her as she can c, i m expecting my 2nd child, there is a good chance dat i might extend her contract. however, if she is going to give me more problems, i will not hesitate 2 send her bk. i was not going to waste anymore time counselling her, scolding or talking to her nicely. if she is going 2 do watever she likes, i will just send her off immediately. i told her as an employer, i cannot tolerate a maid who can't help me much n yet give me lots of problems. if she performs her job well, she can stay till her contract finishes.
my tolerance limit is also hit. i m not going to tolerate a trouble maker. i hv being putting up wif her all this while cos she understands teochew dialect which my mil speaks. she had 3 n half yrs exp in Sing, but i really wonder wat she has been doing all dat time. but i cun keep putting up cos i m expecting again.
i just hv to take to risk of getting a new maid if my current maid keeps giving me problems.
tamarind is right, just hv to take the risk of getting a new maid.
tamarind,
Did u extend her work permit yourself? Because most of these maids' work permit will expires 2 years.
Actually I have the intention to keep my current maid till we found a good replacement.
Where did u get your new maid from? Your fresh here means has not worked in Sg before? But does she has childcare experience?
Actually my mum asked me to get one that has not worked in Sg before. But I am worry about her ability to take care of my kids. My girl is attending CC during day time. She will leave home at 9am and come back at 5pm. So she only needs to take care of my 1 yo boy and maybe my brother's 4 mo girl. Of course my mum will supervise.
Same like you, I do not want to pay so much agency fee because they can't guarantee a good and reliable one for us. It is our luck if we can engage a good one.
Did u extend her work permit yourself? Because most of these maids' work permit will expires 2 years.
Actually I have the intention to keep my current maid till we found a good replacement.
Where did u get your new maid from? Your fresh here means has not worked in Sg before? But does she has childcare experience?
Actually my mum asked me to get one that has not worked in Sg before. But I am worry about her ability to take care of my kids. My girl is attending CC during day time. She will leave home at 9am and come back at 5pm. So she only needs to take care of my 1 yo boy and maybe my brother's 4 mo girl. Of course my mum will supervise.
Same like you, I do not want to pay so much agency fee because they can't guarantee a good and reliable one for us. It is our luck if we can engage a good one.
dramaqueen,
When we join a new company, we also have to go through 3 - 6 months probation before we can be confirmed employees. The company has the right to terminate if we don't meet the standards. The company also don't know whether they will get a good or bad employee. To me hiring a maid is the same.
babycutie,
Yes I extended her work permit myself online.
My new maid is from Crislo, she has no work experience anywhere, but she has a 3 year old child of her own. I am a bit superstitious nowadays, selected her because her Chinese zodiac does not clash with anyone in the family.
So long as the maid is not too stupid, does not have health problem or attitude problem, and willing to learn, we can train her. Actually I don't have the patience, just going to leave it to my second maid and my mother.
Actually even though the maid has not worked in Singapore before, she will still learn to compare and ask for higher pay/off day after her 2 year contract. Not unless you totally don't allow her to talk to any maids in the neighbourhood at all.
In my case, I wanted a new maid simply because she will be bound by contract to have no off day for 2 years. After 2 more years, I may not need 2 maids anymore, so I can send her back.
When we join a new company, we also have to go through 3 - 6 months probation before we can be confirmed employees. The company has the right to terminate if we don't meet the standards. The company also don't know whether they will get a good or bad employee. To me hiring a maid is the same.
babycutie,
Yes I extended her work permit myself online.
My new maid is from Crislo, she has no work experience anywhere, but she has a 3 year old child of her own. I am a bit superstitious nowadays, selected her because her Chinese zodiac does not clash with anyone in the family.
So long as the maid is not too stupid, does not have health problem or attitude problem, and willing to learn, we can train her. Actually I don't have the patience, just going to leave it to my second maid and my mother.
Actually even though the maid has not worked in Singapore before, she will still learn to compare and ask for higher pay/off day after her 2 year contract. Not unless you totally don't allow her to talk to any maids in the neighbourhood at all.
In my case, I wanted a new maid simply because she will be bound by contract to have no off day for 2 years. After 2 more years, I may not need 2 maids anymore, so I can send her back.
tamarind,
Did u extend her work permit yourself? Because most of these maids' work permit will expires 2 years.
Actually I have the intention to keep my current maid till we found a good replacement.
Where did u get your new maid from? Your fresh here means has not worked in Sg before? But does she has childcare experience?
Actually my mum asked me to get one that has not worked in Sg before. But I am worry about her ability to take care of my kids. My girl is attending CC during day time. She will leave home at 9am and come back at 5pm. So she only needs to take care of my 1 yo boy and maybe my brother's 4 mo girl. Of course my mum will supervise.
Same like you, I do not want to pay so much agency fee because they can't guarantee a good and reliable one for us. It is our luck if we can engage a good one.
Did u extend her work permit yourself? Because most of these maids' work permit will expires 2 years.
Actually I have the intention to keep my current maid till we found a good replacement.
Where did u get your new maid from? Your fresh here means has not worked in Sg before? But does she has childcare experience?
Actually my mum asked me to get one that has not worked in Sg before. But I am worry about her ability to take care of my kids. My girl is attending CC during day time. She will leave home at 9am and come back at 5pm. So she only needs to take care of my 1 yo boy and maybe my brother's 4 mo girl. Of course my mum will supervise.
Same like you, I do not want to pay so much agency fee because they can't guarantee a good and reliable one for us. It is our luck if we can engage a good one.
Oopss... I post my message twice
Tamarind,
I also send email to crislo but they have not get back to me. Maybe because I state that my current maid's contract will ends in Sept and now is still early.
How do you know the age they give are accurate. A lot of them fake their birthdate so that they can come here to work.
Tamarind,
I also send email to crislo but they have not get back to me. Maybe because I state that my current maid's contract will ends in Sept and now is still early.
How do you know the age they give are accurate. A lot of them fake their birthdate so that they can come here to work.
tamarind,
sure, this is definetly the situation everyone goes through.
like to chk wif u, is this the 1st time u go to crislo? u mentioned dat u r paying $280 for ur new indo maid wif no offday. do u pay any upfront salary or can u share wif me how much u paid upfront? just curious to ask cos my current maid is fr crislo as well. i got her in july 2005. then, i paid ard 2300+ (i cun remember how much) including 7 mths of her salary if i do not remember wrongly. her salary is $300 cos she is ex-sin. chris helped me to pick this maid then.
i would like u to share wif me ur experience wif crislo n the amt u paid to give me a better idea of the current mkt rate. many thanks in advance.
sure, this is definetly the situation everyone goes through.
like to chk wif u, is this the 1st time u go to crislo? u mentioned dat u r paying $280 for ur new indo maid wif no offday. do u pay any upfront salary or can u share wif me how much u paid upfront? just curious to ask cos my current maid is fr crislo as well. i got her in july 2005. then, i paid ard 2300+ (i cun remember how much) including 7 mths of her salary if i do not remember wrongly. her salary is $300 cos she is ex-sin. chris helped me to pick this maid then.
i would like u to share wif me ur experience wif crislo n the amt u paid to give me a better idea of the current mkt rate. many thanks in advance.
Dramaqueen,
Can I check does this maid Chris picked for you meets your requirements?
It is very important that an agency can help us to shortlist suitable candidates for our needs.
tamarind,
I would also like to know the breakdown of the fees u pay to crislo for getting a maid.
Just to confirm that below is the correct agency for crislo.
http://www.crisloemployment.com
Can I check does this maid Chris picked for you meets your requirements?
It is very important that an agency can help us to shortlist suitable candidates for our needs.
tamarind,
I would also like to know the breakdown of the fees u pay to crislo for getting a maid.
Just to confirm that below is the correct agency for crislo.
http://www.crisloemployment.com
Hi ladies,
Thanks for all your comments. I agree with Tamarind. As long as more good than bad the maid contributes to family, we can still keep them.
Babycuties,
You have two maids are they both under your name? If I have 2nd baby, am considering getting another maid to look after junior. Wonder if the concessionary levy applies to 2nd maid.
Thanks for all your comments. I agree with Tamarind. As long as more good than bad the maid contributes to family, we can still keep them.
Babycuties,
You have two maids are they both under your name? If I have 2nd baby, am considering getting another maid to look after junior. Wonder if the concessionary levy applies to 2nd maid.
