Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

The video should really be brought to media's attention and blow it BIG because then the society will take notice of this incident and pressurize the authorities to have a fair judgement. otherwise maybe it becomes another hush hush issue where the maid most prob just repatriate back and come back to Sin again as another identity.

patsy,
u r not the only one. I was disturbed after watching and couldn't sleep. Then when i sleep, i dreamt about the video images some more!

This morning i talked to my maid and showed her the video. told her the most impt thing here is my kids n should she be unhappy, let me know and dont take it out on the children. She told me i can put a camera if i'm worried. i told her what's the point becoz if it happens, the most i send her back but the damage is already done to my child.

Btw, is this maid a Ph or Indo?
 


hi mommies,

need advise again. maid goes to mIL place with two childre for 4 hrs on saturday weekly.

recently, there has been much reports from DH that MIL says maid is telling her secrets of my family, eg: my dad won totto, I walk around the house with minimal clothes and worse stuff which i won't post here.

as the news came from DH who commented that MIL was just gossiping and I haven't heard formal complains lodge by my MIL about maid yet. Do you all think it is wise that I confront the maid or my MIL or my DH or leave it as it is??

just wondering what would experience mommies with maid do?

tell the maid to mind her own business? I have done that before when she leaked secrets about my girlfriend's character to her new maid and as a result, my friend had great trouble with her new maid(I learnt a very hard lesson that we shouldn't gossip our friends in front of our maids
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seems like my maid's old habits are back!!!

Confront the maid? have done that before, but she would deny, and ultimately there's no work done.

Feel like sending her home, but very poor thing cos she just renewed her contract with me until this year august. I would feel bad if I have to send her back prematurely. Yet, i do worry that her 'rumours' may be more exxagerrated as days go by cos there's nothing much for her to do nowadays and as a result get our family into unnessary trouble
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sorry for ranting, but really need to see some light at the end of this maid tunnel.

MTIA

harriet
 
I also couldn't get to sleep last night after watching the videos. Glad to know the baby didn't sustain any physical injuries.

I don't know if I should show my maid the footage. It might put ideas in her head and she might decide to do the same thing one day! Think I wont show her.

I started wondering what could have caused this maid to become so violent with the baby. Normal human beings aren't so cruel. Perhaps the employer has been ill-treating the maid? Or the maid doesn't know how to take care of babies and since she's the mother's maid, it wasn't part of her 'scope of work' when she signed the contract with her employer?

harriet,
My maid also sometimes says things to my family/friends that we don't particularly want them to know. I mentioned to her once not to tell ppl stuff abt our family because sometimes we don't want ppl to know, and she has stopped. Think its best to talk to your maid and tell her your reasons.
 
harriet,

I don't think there is a need to feel sorry for your maid. Your maid may be lonely enough to try to gossip in order to gain company/friends, but i think this is not the right thing to do, as this sort of action is being disrespectful to the employer, esp when it is carried among the employer's family members. If the maid gossips abt you to her friends, i think it is quite normal, cos we also gossip abt our bosses to our friends don't we?

I had experienced first hand how the maid play the politics in my hse-hold, nearly ruining my relationship with my MiL. It is but her way of trying to skive.

Our case is that my MiL who is old and lives with us when she visits is not exactly the tidiest of people. But she is old. How can you blame an old lady? However, my ex-maid liked to push the blame onto my MiL for everything that she did not do but is supposed to do, and for every funny thing (which i find weird) that she did (she claimed that it is my MiL who asked her to).

My take: no pt confronting the maid cos she'll deny it anyway. In your case, pls get ur DH and your MiL together with you to confirm the stories (not in the presence of the maid). If it is really so, as in your MiL confirms that the maid had told her all these things, then get all together and question the maid infront of the MiL. Maid may still deny but it shows to her that your entire family is on the same side.

If you really cannot tahan her gossiping, send her straight home. Cos if you let her go on, she'll definitely ruin your family relations. In my case, it's so bad that my MiL had now refused to help take care of my son, and I'm left with no choice but to quit my comfy job to stay home.
 
Hi harriet - my opinions would be: if she is doing a reasonably good job, then I will say leave the case as it is. Cos you know getting a new maid wouldnt be that easy! As for going forward, just dont leak out too much of info. As to things which is not controllable e.g. squabbling at home kind, if she wants to say, let her do so...If she like to add pepper or salt kind, then pre-empt the pple around you, so that they wont trust her so easily...

Does it help for your case?

I sometimes also develop a habit of telling too much to my maid - cos now our rship is rather positive...I now need to tell myself to control. But sometimes qt hard. I am alone at home and stressed up with kids - with her around, at least there's someone i can talk to. Hope she wont turn her back against me. I warned her before, dont break the trust between us, else it will be hard to mend it back.
 
i know it's strange but i've just watched the 6 videos again... glutton for punishment!! like angel, i wonder what type of person the maid is... what drove her to treat the baby like that... how old is she? i mean, no matter how inexpereinced you are as a nanny you should know that a 2 mth old baby can't be treated like that!! aside from being insane, i wonder what are her reasons... how could she have done that to a baby??? although, my mum has a friend was quite mean to the nanny of her baby, like not allowing her to sit down to eat, every meal is one small fish and 1/2 cup of rice only, always screaming at the maid for every little thing, hitting the maid and pulling her hair etc... the maid kept quiet until she got a major scolding one day for forgetting to cover the baby's milk bottle, i guess she snapped and when my mum's friend went out, she put insecticide inside the baby's milk and basically murdered the baby... and that was with the house full of people (the grandma, auntie and 3 other maids were at home with her)... all these horror stories!! note: this happened in manila about 20 yrs ago

harriet: seems your maid is trying to get MIL to like her, so is making you look bad so she will look good. I would actually talk to her to try to find out her motives... what is she trying to achieve, you won't get an honest answer out of her, but you'll see her reaction and can make some observations from that. also, it'll let her know taht you're on to her gossipy nature!
 
Harriet
I've first-hand experinced this. My maid tried to create politics at my home by telling bad things abt me to my MIL and bad things abt MIL & SIL to me .. I'm a FTWM, everyday my hubby will bring maid and 2 young kids (2.5yrs and 10mths) to my mil's place who is leaving in the same block. She will stay at MIL's place on weekdays and we bring all back after work. Every night when we come home, she will grumble and complain how SIL and MIL nag at her, how MIL beats my kids, etc etc . . At MIL's end, she will say i very lazy, push all the baby-sitting work to her and end up she can't even go toilet! and many other more nasty things abt me ..

Her doings finally come to light when my hubby nearly quarelled with my SIL over the maid thingy cos maid complained that SIL nagged at her until she can't work. Then everything come to light. Hubby had a good talk with maid and she said she missed her baby back home and wants to go back. We agreed and arrange for a new maid to come in. Just when the new maid is abt to arrive, she requested that we give her a 2nd chance and promised to work hard and never gossip. As she is good at taking care of my boy and MIL prefers her than getting a new maid (which is a risk too, cos we don know whether the new one will be good), we decided to give her a 2nd chance.

Now, 7mths have passed and she has proved herself. Though we have already spent $500++ on arranging for a new maid (the new maid had actually reached singapore and had to be transferred out before coming to our place), we are glad that we gave this current one a 2nd chance. As what tamarind say, it's never cheap to get a maid through trial and error. Every of our decision cost money.

Now, though she has improved tremendous in her work and attitude, i'm careful when talking to her also, won't talk too much unneccessary things to her. Only the essentials.

Harriet, for your situation, maybe your hubby can have a talk with your MIL for the full story. Your hubby needs to be the middleman, cos sometimes MIL won't tell u the full story cos some words are not pleasant.

If her work is good and you don mind forgiving her, then u and hubby should have a trash out talk with the maid, let her know you all know what she has been saying behind your back, see what she wants. Tell her the consequenes of her action, etc. Ask her what is she going to do abt it? Is she still interested in working for you or she wants to leave? Give her a few days to think and let u know. If she subseqently choose to continue to work for u, then u lay down your expectation and what are the unacceptable behaviors (eg. telling tales and gossiping). Only if she agree, then u let her stay.

The above are just what i went through for sharing. Decision lies on you.
 
With regard to these sort of maid issues, I personally think it's a waste of time to delve deeper into why this and why that. If the maid has already been told once that she is not to behave in such a manner and given good reasons why and she still chooses to cause trouble then I would simply change her.

We are already so busy. Maids are supposed to make our lives easier, not cause havoc and relationship problems within our own family.

For me the answer is very simple. If I am unhappy enough to vent my complaints about a maid with the view that she has not and will not improve I would just change her.

Just my opionion. Everyone is different.
 
Indon maid lets teen molest her HK ward
Girl, 5, was sexually assaulted for more than a year
THE Indonesian maid in Hong Kong would take the two children in her care to a play centre.
12 January 2008
THE Indonesian maid in Hong Kong would take the two children in her care to a play centre.

But she allowed a teenager working there to molest the elder of the two girls, who was 5 years old.

The maid, Sujianah, 33, was paid between HK$200 ($37) and HK$500 forthis.

She faced five charges of aiding and abetting the commission of an indecent assault on the girl, and was sentenced to 32 months in jail, The Standard newspaper reported.

Four days had been set aside for the trial, and the Indonesian consulate hired a lawyer to defend Sujianah, as it feared the case could spark a backlash against other Indonesians working in Hong Kong.

But before the trial started, the maid pleaded guilty.

The teen suspected of molesting the girl has not been charged because of a lack of evidence.

The offences occurred between March 2006 and July last year.

On each occasion, the maid would take the girl and her three-year-old sister to a play centre in Whampoa Garden, Hung Hom, where a 19-year-old man working at the centre would assault her.

The shocking story came to light on 26 Jul last year when the girl's mother noticed that she had a look of fear.

The girl then told her mother she had been taken by a young man into a dark room and sexually molested on several occasions.

The mother told the police and a medical examination confirmed the girl had been abused.

On one occasion, the maid was said to have washed the child's underwear because it showed evidence of abuse.

POVERTY DROVE HER TO CRIME

In mitigation, the defence lawyer said the maid came from a poor family and was in Hong Kong on a salary of HK$3,800 a month.

She became the family's sole bread winner in 2006 when her elder brother died.

The lawyer said: 'The defendant became greedy.

'She thought it was all right as long as she did not see what was going on inside the room where the child was molested.

'The defendant also told herself she was not the one who directly hurt thechild.

'But now she feels remorseful and shameful about what she has done.'

In passing sentence, the judge said the defendant had acted 'out of greed' and was guilty of a 'severe breach of trust'.

CULPRIT MAY NOT BE CHARGED

Mr Stephen Hung Wan Shun, chairman of the Hong Kong Law Society's criminal law and procedure committee, said the principal suspect could get away with an offence if there was not sufficient evidence to substantiate charges - even if other defendants were convicted.

'For example, if the child fails to identify the person and there is no strong evidence to prove he has committed the offence,' he said.

Prosecutors could still press charges against the suspect.

They could turn to the maid who may be more willing to assist the police if her sentence could be reduced, Mr Hung said.

There are more than 114,000 Indonesian domestic workers in Hong Kong, the second largest population of foreign helpers after Filipinos.

There are currently 123,520 Filipino helpers in the city.
 
A Summary of more cases of ABUSIVE MAIDS

2003 An Indonesian maid was yesterday jailed for 1½ years for injuring a 4-year-old boy she was looking after. The boy suffered burns on his shoulder, thigh and arm after she had punished him by placing a hot iron on several parts of his body. (Straits Times 6 May 2004) (H6)
An Indonesian maid was jailed for 10 months yesterday for scalding a toddler in her care on 19 Aug 2003. Eni Suciana Sukarman, 22, admitted splashing a cup of hot water on the two-year-old girl. (Straits Times 29 Aug 2003 H8)
A maid pleaded guilty to seven charges of child abuse in a district court yesterday. Aan Andriyani, 24, was caught on camera abusing her employer's four-month-old daughter in December 2002 and January 2003. (Straits Times 25 Mar 2003)(H4)
A Filipino maid has been jailed for six months for ill-treating a five-year-old boy under her care. Glory Aragon Ganiban, 28, pleaded guilty to slapping and pinching the boy at a flat in Clementi between July 1 and 12 this year. (Straits Times 10 Dec 2002) (H6)
Indonesian maid Sulika Admobadi, 27, was yesterday jailed for two years and six weeks for threatening to jump from the 15th floor of a building with her employer's two-year-old daughter because he did not grant her a transfer. Her employer, British national Mr Hughes, 38, managed to grab her to stop her from jumping off. (Straits Times 12 Jun 2002) (H2)
Indonesian maid Sundarti Supriyanto, 22, was charged in court yesterday with the murder of her employer and her employer's young daughter. Madam Angie NG Wee Peng, 34, and POH Shiqi, 3, were found dead with stab wounds in a blaze at Madam POH's office in Block 165 Bukit Merah Central on May 28. (Straits Times 12 Jun 2002 (3)
An Indonesian maid who shook a three-month-old baby so hard that it caused his skull to fracture was jailed for 15 months yesterday for wilfully ill-treating him. Maria Fransiska Dewi, 23, admitted shaking the baby at her employer's home in Jalan Bukit Merah on Dec 5 last year. (Straits Times 23 Mar 2002) (H7)
A court heard that a young Indonesian maid pointed a knife at her employers' two-month-old baby and demanded that her passport be returned to her. This happened after Madam See Tho Sook Han, 29, had scolded the maid for dropping things at her Woodlands Avenue 6 flat on Friday evening. That threat from Suwanti Inkaprasetya, 19, landed her a six-month jail term yesterday. (Straits Times 11 Nov 2001 (5)
 
I saw on TV at 6:30pm news today, the maid who abused the baby is under police investigation. The mummy was interviewed with her back facing the screen. It seems the maid is pretty new in her house.
 
Patsy,
I watched all the video clips twice too. Dunno why also...then after that had trouble falling asleep the whole night coz I was so disturbed.

Gosh...that employer is really stupid to treat the maid like that and let her handle her baby at the same time.
 
angel, me too... i just had to see for myself that it was for real!!

yeah, her entire family is famous for being mean to maids, none of their maids last more than a few months!! thing is, she was like this to the former maids and no one did anything so i guess she thought she could continue taht way....
 
I just watched the 10pm chinese news. They were playing the horrific scenes over and over again. The mommy sounded so traumatised.

I really hope that the authorities can realize what kind of problems employers are facing.
 
tam/liana, is the maid fil or indo? how old? did they interview her? did she say why she did it? i forgot to watch the news!! wonder if it'll be on channel news asia?
 
Well, going by the comments on YouTube, lucky her face is not shown cos hundreds of people want to KILL HER! There's alot of anger out there and I think the maid is in serious danger if she's out on the streets now. I'm glad people know about it. I'm glad this kind of thing is out there for everyone to see. I hope MOM will look into better protection of employers. Abolish the maid loan and let employer's freely send BAD maids out of this country!
I hope that maid is fearing for her life right now.
 
Hey mummies,

Someone mentioned earlier in the posts abt bringing employer's issues to MOM & getting them to resolve bad maids recycling in sgp. Hv anyone approach "Qian Xian Zui Zhong"? They will investigate & approach relevant people & government for "answers".

Im sure they will be keen if the story is a serious concern in sgp. But someone has to approach them, let them interview & hv to show face in the interviews.
 
Patsy,
She is Indonesian. I heard from another forum. The news came out on every channel including CNA.

Liana,
There are so many people who sympathize the maids in Singapore. Hopefully now they will realize the truth and sympathize the poor abused babies. Who knows how many others are still suffering now ?
 
Patsy,
I saw the CNA coverage, it was very short. They reported that this case of maid abusing a 2-month old baby has created much anger in the online community. Then they interviewed the mother but her back was facing the camera. The mother said that usually the maid is very quiet and treats the baby lovingly when in their pressence, so its very 'out of character' for the maid to do this. She said that the groin shaking and kicking were very deliberate, so it couldn't be that she was playing with the baby. And she said that she posted the videos online because she wanted to let other mothers know and warn them about leaving their babies alone with the maid. Then the reporter said the local police are investigating the case and the maid is out on bail. That was abt it. I was hoping for more info. :/

Ya who the hell bailed the maid out??? Must be the embassy?
 
I really can't believe this. It's a real big shock to me. And the maid is out on Bail!?!?!?

I looked at the way how the maid treated the baby like a doll swinging up and down, my heart just stop pumping. This is so inhuman!
 
I can't help but my heart feels so heavy to see the baby treated like that...OMG!!

i'm saving the youtube link to show to my new maid..and knock some moral sense into her brain..

mummies, is it that the employer treated the maid badly as mentioned by some?

watever it is the baby was still the innocent one!!
 
hi chrysanne12
*haiz* my maid saw the news together with us and we were telling her about how this maid doesn't treasure her opportunity to work in Singapore, now in deep trouble.

guess what my maid said 'Call police lah' and walked off! OMG, what is happening to maids nowadays?

harriet
 
chrysanne12,
I think it is not fair to even suspect the employer for treating the maid badly. No matter what the employer has done, the maid has no right to do that to a little baby. The baby is innocent !

Anyway you judge for yourself in the video. The maid is so fat ! She obviously has enough to eat and enough rest. If the employer has kicked her the way she kicked the baby, she would probably be limping. But was she ?
 
Hellllllllo!

That bloody maid doesn't look ill treated to me. She had her feet up on the chair and since no one was around she could help herself to food lah!

Shall not assume the maid had a happy working environment but there is no excuse to take out her unhappiness on a defenceless 2 month old infant.

If she would like to take out her anger, she can take it out on an adult. I offer myself up for her to kick and torture and then see what I will do to her.
 
i agree that she din look ill treated.

I showed my parents the videos and then they watched the news themselves last night. My father always thought that I was being paranoid when i told him that we should never leave the bb alone with the maid. After seeing this, he sort of ate back his words...
 
hi,

i saw a glimpse of the video from tv news. I didn't want to look at the 6 video clips at youtube as it is too disturbing.
While everybody is too eager to give the maid verbal bashing, did anybody wonder if the parent of the baby could have done something to prevent this from happening?

First of all, the maid is very new to the family, how can you trust a young and vulnerable baby alone with a total stranger? Having a CCTV helps to monitor the maid's activity but you won't be able to stop the attack in time. The poor baby still suffered. If I'm the mother, I would only blame myself for my stupidity and not able to protect my baby from harm.

I'm sure there are other ways out in looking after babies, such as having a family member to keep an eye on the maid, if not, go to infant care. If there is no other choice, quit your job and look after your baby yourself. Since we choose to give birth to our baby, it is our responsibility as parent to ensure our baby is being well taken care of, even if it involve some sacrifice.

As for uploading those video in youtube, I don't know what purpose does it serve. Gain sympathy? Create hatred and more prejudice against foreign workers? or reminder to parent not to repeat the same mistake?
 
page_up,
Please read what the mommy of the abused baby posted in another forum:

<font color="0000ff">last week, my mum's maid was caught abusing my baby when left alone for 2 hours, n we had her arrested.. this came as a shock as she appeared very caring when we were around..

following is a footage of what she did to baby yifeng..
mommies, please be careful when u leave your little darlings alone with maids.. it's a blessing that baby did not sustain any physical injuries.. </font>

That was actually her mom's maid, not her maid. She only left the baby with the maid for 2 hours. The baby is only 2 months old, so the mommy should still be on maternity leave, and should be able to take care of the baby herself. She did make a mistake leaving the baby with the maid alone, but it was only for 2 hours.

She posted the video to warn other mommies to be careful about leaving babies alone with the maid. She never mentioned anything about sympathy or hatred, so please do not assume that.
 
we must thank the mummy for posting the clip irregardless of her intentions. Cos becos of her clips, we are reminded again that we shld not leave maid and babies together. In fact, my whole office is talking abt this incident today.
i hope that with the news coverage, govt will look at giving us some protection rather than just protecting the maids!
 
hi page_up

Such videos if authentic serve as a good warning for mommies to be with regards about employing foreign workers for infants. very often, human beings can be careless about having foreign maids in their household. thinking that maids can be controlled/managed so long as we keep an eye/pay them the money/feed them.


while my heart goes out to the baby, I reserve my comments about the mother/grandmother/maid or even the purpose of uploading the videos.

more importanly, these videos also highlight the vulnerablity of children when in the hands of maids and we need to think very carefully when employing.

jm2c
harriet
 
There are always 2 sides to a story. We don't know what the maid in the video has been put through by her employers, so best not to judge her and all other maids just by the video or by any other horror maid stories you hear.

There are also employers who abuse their maids with hot irons etc - should we view all employers as potential maid-abusers?

Treat your maid with consideration and she will treat your baby well. Treat your maid poorly and she will take it out on the baby. There are many maids who are forced to wake up at 5 a.m. and work till late at night. Some have to take care of the crying baby throughout the night as well and are still expected to wake up at 5/6 a.m. - and they are not given any days off for months on end - in those circumstances, it is not surprising that the maid will vent her frustrations on the baby.
 
dunno y there are still people who can side the maid. Even if the maid is ill-treated, it doesn't warrant her to do that to the baby. she has legs to run, mouth to talk, she can report to police if she's ill-treated but wat can the baby do when he's abused? If there's a need to take revenge then do it to the employers, spit into the food, break stuff in the house, or whatever they can think of in their bags of tricks but not to the baby!

i don't agree that all maids reciprocate goodwills from employers. Yes, there are definitely fair share of bad employers around but there are also good employers who still end up having terrible maids. If u think we locals are the majority group forming the bad employers to deserve such treatment from maids to our children, then go check on other expat forums where they r given real good benefits and freedom and yet they still have problematic maids who take it out on their kids.
 
Tarmarind,

i'm not making assumption and i'm not questioning about the mother's original intention on posting the video in youtube. I'm stating my opinion on the general reaction towards the video from the postings in this forum and some other forums like CNA. Hey, this is a public forum whereby everybody is given the freedom to express their thoughts right?
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Most people only focus on condemning the maid instead of looking at other issues related to this case such as is there anything the parent could have done to prevent this from happening?? I fully agree with you that we should never leave the baby alone with the maid. Even if they have angelic look, we should never take our babies safety to chance. This, by the way, make me wonder why did the mother install the CCTV? Did she already have suspicion toward the maid? If so, why did she still subject her poor baby to such risk?

Note: Though I am not participating in the verbal bashing of the maid, please do not assume I'm siding the maid.
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Hi Page up

Nothing could hv prevented this tragedy. Im sure most gave their maid a benefit of doubt since we chose to hv a maid. Furthermore, the maid appears to be caring when parents are around. In normal circumstances when everything "appear" normal, i chose to hv a maid, I chose NOT to look at her with suspicious &amp; paranoid eyes. Otherwise, it would be a torture living in fear.

Im sure we all knew CCTV is jus to monitor but no one would expect to caught the act. For my case, we put the CCTV openly to let my maid knows we r watching. It is part of the preventive measures.

No mummy choose to be stoopid to let a maid bbsit their previous ones without supervision. But there are many working parents with no choices. Even that 2mth old whom recently died from knocking on a toilet bowl, the baby had sibling &amp; granny at home, who could hv prevented "accidents" or "incidents"

Sacrifice comes in many ways. Some had to work to provide better quality of life. We are in no position to define what's quality in others' life.

We see more maid abuse cases in the news because the maid has the ability to express herself. I bet there are just as much child abuse cases but a child may not be able to express, defend or speak up &amp; abuses go unnoticed. I believed the intention of uploading the video has serves as its purpose &amp; remind us in different ways what's a "better" choice in caring for our child.

Gain sympathy? I dun tink any amount of sympathy from others can make her feel better.

Create negative effects on foreign workers? Just like how people see maid abuse cases &amp; ask wat has the employer done to cause the maid to behave this way ... now do we hv the right to ask wat can we do to satisfy you so u wont abuse our trust.

So issit bad maids or bad employers?
 
Page_up,
If your boss treats you badly at work whether it be emotional abuse, discrimination etc. does that mean it’s ok to kick his 2 month old son at the next family day event? If the maid hates her employers so much then she should LEAVE. If they refuse to transfer her she should do what all the other irresponsible maids do and run away. If her job description says she is to take care of an infant and she has told her employers that she is capable and willing to do it, then she should damn well take care of the infant. It’s her job. If your boss doesn’t trust you to do what you are employed for, then you do not deserve your job do you.

Angel2baby,
“Treat your maid with consideration and she will treat your baby well. Treat your maid poorly and she will take it out on the baby” Totally not true. I’ve read many incidents from this very forum where mummies treat their maids well and the maids are totally negligent when watching over their kids. What about those maids that let their kids run all over the carpark whilst they are on their mobile phones. What about those maids who totally space out and the kids fall and hurt themselves or get up to dangerous activities.

I guarantee I have treated all my maids very well and some of them have still been lazy and incompetent, full of shortcuts and a mouth full of crap. What of that?

I am glad that mummy posted up those videos. It’s a good wake up call for those of us who rely on a maid to watch over our kids, even for 5 minutes. Better to assume all maids cannot be trusted and err on the side of caution than let your guard down for a mere two hours and find your 2 month old baby abused.
 
Hi,
Like all of you, I was horrified when I saw the video. How could any one possibly do such a thing. I cant even bring myself to do such things to an animal much less a baby...
 
i share the videos with my maid yest and told her if she's not happy anytime, let me know and don't take it out on the children. She told me i can put camera if i want but i told her if I put camera is that what i want to see? I said the most u get caught by police and go jail but the damage is already done to my kids and is irreversible. just like the 2 month old bb who died, can it bring the life of him back even if the maid sentenced to death? Told her this is not wat i want. anything we should talk it out but never take it out on children because she has children too and knows how painful it is to see her kids suffer. Anyway my maid after seeing the video conclude that should be indo maid who did, and true enough today i check the updates, she's right. i deem myself as an ok employer who's relax with her housework and cooking cos day 1 i told her dont know how to do housework, nevermind just pick up slowly, dont know how to cook, also nevermind, cos we can order tingkat, only most impt thing , must treat the children nicely. i let her go offdays without deducting her pay and gave her bonus cash every 3 months. I hope like what some said, she'll reciprocate my kindness.
 
page up, I am probably the strongest proponents for maids in this thread, always trying to give the maids the benefit of the doubt, but in this case, I really cannot condone what the maid has done. No matter how angry/abused/tired/hungry she is, SHE SHOULD NEVER HAVE TAKEN IT OUT ON A 2 MTH OLD BABY!!!! If she's young, no experience in caring for the baby herself, maybe she should have told the employer taht she didn't know what to do when the baby cries. WE all know how exasperating it is when a baby cries not stop... and maybe we was getting frustrated, but STILL NO REASON!

Liana, I believe in moderation, you treat your maid fairly but firmly, well, but within reason. She has to know who is the boss, but at the same time, I will respect her as she deserves as a fellow human being. How difficult is it to live in a house with someone you don't trust at all?? Maybe that's why you ar never happy with your maid because you start off thinking their bad from the start (not saying you have no reason to from past experience) but maybe if you gave them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they're not that bad? No one will be perfect, but there are minor things we can accept, and with maids, we have to be able to accept quite a bit!
 
Page_up, as a mother to see her own baby is ill treated by the maid is already very heartpain. She just want to let us who have maids know that never leave your child with the maid alone at home. Install CCTV, is just to monitor what she does in the day time if they are not at home. As maids are clever in lying.

As what they mentioned, if she is unable to look after the baby, or angry with the employer, she should not do such things to the helpless baby. Just place yourself in the shoes of the mother, what if this happened to you.
 
Agree ... no one's perfect but with maids, there's quite abit of compromising, lowering standards &amp; acceptance. There are just too much "effort" on their part to come here to work, even if it means lying to get the job. What I hear is not what I get sometimes.

Sometimes, i feel like im at her mercy ... but i dun hv much of a choice as i work from home &amp; need help. Im jus grateful that my son gets along &amp; is happy with my maid. The rest of the things, i jus close one eye &amp; everyone is happier this way.
 
liana,
i agree that not all maids will reciprocate. i for one did not get such a maid! we took the maid along for our xmas hols, gave her a gift for xmas. on and off my mil gave her clothes, shoes and bags. she didn't need to do much cooking and babycare..i even told her dunno how to do cooking can slowly learn and all...comparatively she has a rather senang life with our hsehold, yet she pretended to have a seizure when i'm alone with her n bb! and caused so much inconveniences!

so much for being grateful and reciprocating our kindness!she can't even freaking behave herself until her loan is fully paid!
 
Hi Maureen,

I will repeat myself, I'm not siding the maid. The point I have made is not about whether the maid is right or wrong. No doubt, such violence is a crime towards humanity. Enough have been said in different threads and other forums, I do not see the need to join in the public verbal bashing.

As a mother, it is MY RESPONSIBILITY TO PREVENT MY BABY FROM ANY HARM. Human being are complex, we cannot assume people will live by the 'standard code of behavior'. We are not living in a perfect world, there are still a lot of crazy people out there committing all sort of crimes, no matter how much we condemn those criminals. In my opinion, prevention is always better than cure. As chinese sayings go fang ren zhi xin bu ke wu.

My question is " is there anything the parent could have done to prevent this from happening?"
I think Mrs Wang (san) has answer my questions. Thanks for sharing your thoughts too.
happy.gif
However, I still hold on to my stand, the parent needs to bear some responsibility to what happened. We shouldn't be biased by just pointing fingers at the maid.
 
Patsy,

On the contrary. I assume each and every maid is competent from the start as they have stated to my face in the interview and as is written in their CV. I take them all for a "tour" and spell out my expectations clearly BEFORE I offer them the job. I even tell them not to take the job if they cannot meet my standard but they all still want the job. That is why it is their problem if they cannot make it, not mine.

I stand by my "anti-trust" sentiments but that doesn't mean I do not respect them. The get their food, privacy, rest and day off. I follow guidelines set out in the Bill of Human Rights which means I do not with hold any part of her salary and I do not keep her passport.

At my place, it simply means she does not tamper with our food, touch our child and we don't leave anything of value around for her to steal. All the maid's gotta do is choose what food she wants to eat each day and make sure the house is clean. That means all corners, under the table, sweep outside, mop floor, scrub bathroom and no shortcuts. The job can be done in half a day. Is there anything so difficult about that? If they are not able to do this properly then they are not fit to be a maid cos I thought maids are supposed to CLEAN the house and DO THE LAUNDRY. If they are incompetent or too lazy to do the job then out they go!

Patsy, one last thing. That mummy of the 2mth old gave that animal of a maid the benefit of the doubt and look what happened. As I said, there is not harm in not trusting your maid 100%. If the maid turns out to be an honest and wonderful person then great! If not, then at least you didn't risk your family and you are prepared.

I used to take my maids from STARHOME which is a maid HUMANITARIAN AGENCY. I supported their cause and donated to their shelters. Go talk to Jolovan Wham, the director of the organisation (that includes shelters for all sorts of foreign works) and ask him how nice and easy going I used to be with my first few maids and what they did to me to make me think the way I do today. Through experience, I realised that it's better to look after your own needs as a family requiring a maid first and save your charity work for those who deserve it.
 
Page_up,

And the responsible thing for any parent to do is to NEVER trust a maid 100% for they come to us as strangers and are employed by us to undertake those tasks we deem to mundane and menial to do ourselves.

I'm sure that mummy does feel bad about it. I'm sure she wishes it never happened. But what's done is done and we can learn from this tragic situation.

Verbally bashing the maid is better than physically bashing her. People are entitled to vent their anger through their words.
 
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1238767.jpg


Feb 5, 2008
Indon maid caught abusing baby on CCTV
Shocked mum posted video recording of the maid hitting and kicking the baby on YouTube
By Carolyn Quek
AN Indonesian maid has been arrested by Singapore police for abusing her employers' two-month old baby boy at their home, after a video recording showing her hitting and kicking the infant was posted by the parents on YouTube.
The maid, who is in her mid 20s, has been released on bail, after questioning by the police. But investigations are still ongoing.

The baby's parents were shocked when they saw recorded images of the maid abusing the baby, which were captured by a closed circuit TV they had installed recently.

They filed a police report on Jan 26, and also posted the video recording on YouTube, outraging many Netizens.

The series of six videos has attracted more than 36,000 views.

Many who saw the videos bristled with anger.

PrincessJuly83 said in her posting: 'I'm so angry after watching the videos. How can the maid do something inhuman like that?? I'm a mother of 2 and I know how heart breaking it is to see your own baby getting abused liked that. I hope the baby is fine, without any internal or external injuries.'

Another said: 'I am so upset about it. Really angry with the maid. Never comfortable with having maid taking care of baby and young children without other adult around them. Good that you have CCTV and find out early. poor baby.'

Another angry Netizen added: 'Can we know which agency this maid is from? And what is the punishment for this maid?. Hope she doesn't just get away by just sending back to her country. Hope that baby is healthy though.'

The employers said they decided to install the CCTV after reading media reports of maids abusing their young charges.

They were horrified and shocked when the very first video recording they did caught the maid in the violent act.

'The maid appears mild and gentle in front of us. We never suspect she would be so cruel to our baby,' Madam Wong was quoted as saying by an online site.

She decided to put up the video on YouTube to warn other parents who have maids looking other their babies.
 


page_up,
Please read the mommy's posting again, she did not verbally bash the maid. What she wrote was "please be careful when you leave your little darlings one with maids". She also said the same thing during the TV interview. It was clear that she already admitted her own mistake right from the beginning. I am sure that every mommy with a maid in this thread also understood that she regretted what she has done.

She said that the maid appeared very caring. I think many mommies have been fooled by the maid's acting before. It is only human nature to trust someone. She wrote she only left the baby alone with the maid for 2 hours, not the whole day every day which many other mommies are doing.

If you have a maid who acted like she loved the baby so much, it will only be natural that you trust her. Then if you have to shower or use the toilet, will you bring the baby with you ? You will let her look after the baby, right ? The maid could have done horrible things within those few minutes. So will you say that it is your fault ?

I know that you are not siding with the maid. But it is wrong of you to make any speculations about the mommy since you don't know anything about the mommy. It is very simplistic to think that if the maid will only do bad things to you if you treat her badly. I have treated one ex-maid better than my own mother, but in the end she did something that I could not forgive. Maids are not as simple as you think. Try to read every page in the archive of this thread, then you will know what kind of problems the other employers are facing.

I think it is very cruel to even think that the mommy is expecting sympathy by posting this video. I have looked at the comments in youtube. Some of them are very hurting. And oreomummi has just posted a comment saying that the baby is well and healthy. That means she is reading all those comments. I hope that she can take it.
 
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