Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

Liana,
your mentioning of the incident you encountered at Cold Storage reminded me of how my maid was sniggering away when I got told off by a self righteous caucasian woman at Fairprice Finest to "F**KING learn my manners". Just because I told my maid to be careful with the trolley when she backed into this lady and another old lady with a walking stick!?!?

After this incident, i even told my maid that I was embarrassed because of her not wanting to heed my advice in public. YET she DID NOT EVEN APOLOGISE!!!!!

So tell me where is the manners??!?

This is not even it! This maid even dared to argue with my hubby over how she washed the rice when he had already given her SPECIFIC instructions on the task. She is SO FREAKING RUDE if you ask me!

It got me so riled aft so many incidents that I had many a times told my maid quite frankly that I was really flabbergasted at her lack of manners and that I wondered if her parents brought her up well. I told her that her behaviour would be a disgrace to her parents.

Patsy,

I just want to let you know. I had worked with Filipinos before and have Filipino friends in church. I do agree that they are nice people. I do not attribute the possession of good manners or deportment to any particular race or nationality. I believe it is got to do with the maids' education level, social status, family background and personality.
 


Patsy,
Ref to your most recent post,
"f we as an employee doesn't do as our boss asks us to do, keeps arguing, is dirty/unhygeinic, eats too much, steals, abuses our colleagues/subordinates, disrespects your superiors, we would be fired/demoted/penalized, but conversely, if your employer made you stay in the office 24/7, aren't allowed to call home, can't go out for a break at all, measures what you eat, doesn't give you your pay, goes through your private things, you would also be very angry and demotivated to work for your boss or resign, right? Sometimes people forget maids are employees just like you and me, albeit they stay with in our house with us 24/7"

i think this is an extreme situation. i dun think we do that. i for one did not do any of these things that you mentioned, yet how is anyone to explain why my maid was rude towards us, did not reciprocate our kindness towards her and eventually played me out the way she did???
 
Nellu, yes it is extreme but if you read back to all the posts in this thread, you will see that it happens, no off day, not given their salary, can't call home... it's a reality. You were very unfortunate to hire one very bad maid and for her I can offer no excuse. How old was she? Do you know her background (i.e. why she is here to work? family relations? kids?) might go some way to explain why she was like that but then again, she may just be one difficult person.

I agree that manners and good conduct are factors brought about by education, upbringing etc but I was speaking generally. One example would probably be service staff in restaurants.
 
babycutie,

cld it b tt ur maid doesn't hv a 4 yo boy at all? my personal experience : my maid didn't hv any pics of her gal at all when she came 2 sg. i discovered it when i chked her bag when she 1st arrived at my plc. when i asked her y, she said tt d training centre dun allow them 2 bring along any personal stuff. i gt suspicious then coz i noe tt it's nt true. after a few wks, she finally confessed 2 us tt d info on her biodata is nt true. she's single, nt married wif a gal as stated in her biodata. when we asked her y she lied on her biodata, she told us tat d indo agent wrote d info on her biodata 4 her. thus, she jus followed wat he wrote.
 
i feel dat one has to encounter bad experiences to know how it feels like to b going thru them. after which, its hard not to feel suspicious n skeptical. i m not trying to take sides here but i really think dat luck plays a vital role in everything especially when it comes to getting a maid.

some hit jackpot at the first (or few tries). some just have no luck after umpteen times.
 
Vone,

My mum oso suspect that my maid do not have a boy actually. Look at the way she handles my kids when she first arrives can tell that she totally do not have child care. She did confess that she don't take care of her own child after birth. She told me her MIL wanted to take care of her. And she come out to work.

The next day, I "interviewed" her to understand more abt her. So I ask her since her MIL take care of her boy. What has she been doing from 2000 - 2007? She told me nothing. I was like huh?? She did nothing for the past 7 years?? I probe again. I ask her: " you told me your MIL look after your boy, and u r not working, then wat u do the whole day?? She shrug her shoulder and said nothing smilingly. Obviously she is hiding something right?? How can a person do nothing for 7 years?? Which MIL will be so good to take care of your child and let u do nothing???

Anyway, we find her words very contradicting.... One day I ask she gave one answer, then next day I ask same question, she gave a different answer.. I remembered she ever told me she has wanted to go Taiwan so she learn mandarin for 4 mths hence she can speak mandarin quite well but kept saying she DID NOT work in Taiwan before.

2 wks ago my mum told her off because she defy instruction. My mum said don't thk u learn mandarin for 4 mths and can speak well means employer will engage u. They oso wants to see your performance. if u don't perform well, they will still fire u even though u can speak good mandarin. She answered my mum.... no lah...who said i learn mandarin in the agency for 4 mths... My mum then told her, u told ma'am on the week u arrive her that u learn mandarin for 4 mths right? she answer no... I where got said i learn from centre....


U see... she twisted her words... I thk she have forgotten what lies she has ever told me liao....

Hence, my mum says my maid is not a simple woman. She must be someone who cannot get along with family or ILs (if she is truly married as stated in biodata). Otherwise, how come she never contacted her family for 5 mths after working with us? Must be something wrong somewhere....

My ex maid who worked with me for 1.5 years, showed me her son's picture. After working with me for 2 mths, she requested to make phone calls home. She pays her own phone card and I let her use my house phone to make phone calls but hve to ask me permission first.


So we are not giving 100% trust to my current maid. I won't leave her alone with my kids at home. If needed be, I will bring her and the kids to my brother's place nearby while I run my errand if my mum goes to stay with my brother.
 
ya very right Dramaqueen - most of us really have our ups and downs and its really straining to manage this!

B2B3M4 - i already expected must use money to "put water to the fire" cos there wasnt much a choice for me and I had to accept the fact that the money can just fly away just like that! You know, the maid issues turned to a stage where I had to quit my job. I served my notice period while my maid served hers - how ironical isnt it?!!

Liana - you are farnie!! but yeah, i can understand - but again, either we change or we live with it. If I am you, i will also be THAT SIAN...I agree very much with your points up there! Some maids just would take advantage of this. And once we have given them this opportunity, it can nvr be retracted and then if we stop giving in, we become the MEAN and NASTY employers and they lose their heart working....how to give in like that??!
 
babycutie,
i think ur maid/agency is lying abt the biodata... how can a mother (assuming she is one) not call home at all in 5 months to check on her kids? unless she does not have one at all... anyway, as many already knows, biodata cannot be trusted... haha

my maid, young and single, called home after abt 2 months working for me and that is cos it is hari raya then... from then till now, she has not called home... only recently cos she got $ for her angpow, she has again requested that i help her buy a phone card to call home... so, even a single and young gal will miss home, a mother will definitely miss her son also what...


B2B3M4,
i totally understand when u said "I am the one who cook for my maid, i am the one taking care of my baby at night, i am the one who take care of both my children so that my maid can do her housework on weekends..."
this is precisely what i am now! haha...
and yet, housework can be anyhow done at times (e.g. corners of floor, behind sofa, etc. not swept/mop juz because she think i don't check), forgetful and blur (things she keep/wash can still ask me where is it / whether it belongs here or not), etc...
 
hehe, going back to the topic of maids, can i ask how many of u actually get ur maids to cook for u? just wondering:
- if ur maid cooks for u and ur family, does she eat the same food as u or she has her own food and she will cook that for herself?
- if she cooks/eats the same food as u and ur family, does it mean she will scoop up the portion for herself and then for u and ur family separately?
- if she cooks for u and ur family, hv u encountered any situations where she pinch ur food (what she has cooked) and if yes, is this an acceptable situation to u?

just curious abt the above situations... if anyone can answer? :p
 
my most recent maid is worst!!

Experience maid who worked in HK for 4 yrs. she cook well and can take care of kids. 1st few mths she is ok but as days go by, her colors show. She sit wif her legs cross like a boss even when we are out to eat in restuarant! there are many times i hinted to her to sit nicely. There was one time, she did that during her lunch at home. so i tell her to sit nicely. then the next moment, she purposely put one of her leg up on the chair (like the olden days rickshaw puller), then i tell her off again and told her kids will pick up such habit from adult, then again she purposely squat wif her legs open like the olden days coolie ...so tell me wat does this MAID mean???

Last yr, she ran off breaking my window in the middle of night and escape to SHELTER and lodge a complain against me on the followings:

1) did not pay her salary
2) did not give her noon nap
3) did not provide tea breaks
4) say that i always compare her with other nationality helper


1) She agree tat i will keep her salary when i interview her on the phone. she also did signed the hse rules & regulations on her 1st day wif bahasa translation of which salary will be kept by me. So have proof.

2) & 3) NAP & tea break.She dint even request that from me and yet dare to complain? BTW, she shld go back to be a princess?? I don’t even nap in the noon as a SAHM.

4) i dnt think im wrong to tell her if she dnt treasure her job, then i will let others a chance.

there are some other complains as well which im not goin to elaborate. Because of her ran away, she has caused so much inconvenience for my family. I don’t think we deserve that.

she wakes up at 6am and sleep at abt 10 or latest 10 plus. only mop the floor in the morning and prepare lunch.noon time she basically sit and watch tv wif my gals or play wif them. i dnt think she is overworked at all.She often dozed off when she bring my gal to the room for nap. so she does nap afterall !

Yes, I would say the agency is another problem. False bio information, recycle problematic maids, etc. I came across one agency who set this in the contract where employer have to give 1 month notice to agency if we do not want the maid anymore. Then I ask the agency what if the maid abuse my child or steal $, you mean I still have to give 1 month notice??? How can I keep someone at home for 1 month where she abuses my child!! I was told that I can bring the maid to the agency then but to pay for her lodging and food. This is NONSESE to me !!

I feel that maids nowadays are taking advantage of employers. Our reason to employ them is obviously to help us but most of them are causing great inconvenience to us.Does it mean i can tell my boss i wan noon nap during working hrs with a chair massager, etc etc....
 
To answer plim's question ...

My maid does the cooking in our house. I'va taught her to cook some dishes and she is pretty decent. She eats the same things as we do. I don't scoop or portion anything out for her. She can eat as much as she wants. Ironically, she doesn't cos she doesn't want to get fat ... LOL.

I always encourage her to eat more since she is the one doing housework so she needs the energy. She is free to take as much rice, beef, chicken or fish and of course veggies as she wants. When we buy fruits like mangoes and durians, I also nag her to eat.

She is also free to eat anything in my fridge or cupboards be it chocolates or ice-cream or biscuits etc. She can also make any kind of hot drinks that she wants ... tea, coffee, milo, nescafe ..

I guess I've been lucky that my maid hasn't taken advantage of this
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samantha, looks like your maid is pretty decent and is the kind who rather be on diet than grow fat
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in my hse, for the hot drinks, she can help herself to any of it...

however, food wise, we have always tot that to avoid misunderstanding, it is better to portion / ration out whatever she can eat and she can only take from there... dun wan to hv any opportunities for us to accuse her of stealing food and to surprise us with anything...

well, amazingly, i think my maid has gained weight since she came to work for me (6 months) as can see that the pants she's wearing now are tighter! in such a case, if she one day cannot wear any of her pants cos she gained weight, am i obliged to buy her new ones?
 
Sigh... I agree that alot of times, when choosing a maid, maid agencies play a part, our luck plays a part too.

With my ex-maid, she can't cook, she can't handle the children, she can't even do housework without close monitoring after 6 months. I cook for her, I take care of the children, even bring them both to marketing and lesson all by myself so that the maid can have sometime to clean the house, she can't even push a supermarket trolley properly that we have to do it ourselves to prevent any knocking down of items. Big eater and choosy about food when she is supposingly in a very poor family with no land, and gave birth to a child when the man doesn't want to marry her. I know all these because, she is supposingly my sis' maid's sil. She is quite a nice girl, but she has no heart to work, plus she keep telling my sis' maid that she's weak, she constantly feels giddy and having headache, etc. When I wanted to transfer her out, to another family who probably don't need her to travel to my in law's house, with easier job scope so that she can earn some money to support her family and son, she rejected and said she wanted to go back and rest. I told her that the money she earned here is much more than in Phil, and she said it's ok, at least she can wake up at 7am and sleep at 9pm. :| I really don't know how to response to that kind of mentality.

In fact, after changing so many maids, I kind of lost hope with maids. With my current new 2 weeks maid, I'm happy cause I'm really not going to expect much. The more expectation, the more disappointment. I still takes care of my children when I'm home. I still sleep with them, bath them, make them to bed, etc., all by myself. But she took the initiative to take over me when I'm busy with something else. So, I'm just happy that she has the initiatives. I'll take it as a blessing but I'm not going to hope for more. It's like if I get it, it's a blessing, if I don't get it, as long as she works decently, I'm satisfied already.
 
Liana,
I like your logic
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and thanks for speaking up for us Singaporeans. I think we singaporeans have generally been misunderstood. I am very touched to know someone like you who is so fair to us.

You wrote:
<font color="0000ff">My point is...if working in Singapore is so BAD, then please don't come here to work. Go work in Saudi Arabia where cases of maid abuse is RIFE - ie. much worse than Singapore. But then again, Saudi employers are also having major issues with their maids. </font>

I agree 100%. The maids come to work in Singapore on their own free will. If they don't like it, they can always go somewhere else.

Patsy,
I will not say that maid agencies account for 100% of the problems, but I believe they account for at least 60% of the problems. I think 30% of the problems lies in the maids themselves. Some maids are bad no matter how well your treat them. Just read about what JChew wrote about her ex-maid.

Your wrote:
<font color="ff6000">if your employer made you stay in the office 24/7, aren't allowed to call home, can't go out for a break at all, measures what you eat, doesn't give you your pay, goes through your private things, you would also be very angry and demotivated to work for your boss or resign, right? Sometimes people forget maids are employees just like you and me, albeit they stay with in our house with us 24/7.</font>

I did not do any of the above to my maids, but I still had to send back 7 maids. I don't think that it is my fault. I do agree that there are employers who are like that. But the fact is, not every maid will give problems in this type of environment. My number 1 maid, a filipino, was happy to stay at home because she did not know any friends, even though I kept asking her to go out on Sundays. Some maids are simply too happy to leave their country, or have relatives who treat them like ATM, so they do not like to call home anyway. My number 7 and 8 maids are like that, even though I allow them to call home every day, so long as they pay for it and they have completed their work. Like Liana, my number 5 maids also asked me to keep her salary for her. So no, I don't think that every maid will become angry and demotivated if their employer treats them like that. So what you described probably accounts for only 10% of the problems.

I am only making estimations based on what I read in the forum. The truth is that nobody can make any kind of generalisations.

Please do not blame employers for not allowing maids to go out on their own. MOM states that if the maid becomes pregnant or run away, the employer loses the $5000 bond. It is because of this stupid rule that made employers keep their maids like prisoners at home. So again it is not our fault.

It is very sad that employers are always blame for all the problems with maids. Even in the case of the poor baby abused by the maid, someone can still blame the employer for trusting the maid. We employers are always at the losing end.
 
plim,

My maid don't do cooking. She just do housework (cleaning, wiping, washing, sweeping and mopping) and child care (bathing, cleaning, feeding).

My mum once ask the maid to pound dried shrimp. My maid took out the pounding urn from under our kitchen cabinet which has been kept for ages and has not been using and starting pouring the dried shrimp to pound right away. My mum saw it in time and shouted at the maid to stop. Get her to pour out all the dried shrimp and wash the urn before pounding.


Few months later, my maid ask my mum to teach her to cook. My mum answered her back: " U r so dirty, do u thk I feel safe to let u cook?? U don't even bother to wash the pounding urn before pounding the dried shrimp which I have asked u last time and u expect me to let u cook???" My maid kept quiet.


Not only this. Last Sunday I brought my kids and maid over to my SIL place. My SIL made a cup of 3-in-1 cereal for the maid to drink. After drinking she washed the cup. My mum told me yesterday that my SIL asked my mum what is inside the cup last sunday. My mum said she is not sure then ask my SIL who last used the cup. My SIL recalled she made cereal for my maid to drink. Quickly she soak the cup and rewash again. U c, this small washing matter oso cannot do well. Who wants to let her cook??


Usually we scoop out the food for the maid. We don't let her scoop for herself.
 
Liana,
Just curious about your nanny's Indonesian maid. You mean the maid cook the porridge, then your nanny bring it to your house to feed your little girl ? I find it very nice of you to say that she cooks it with great effort, heart and soul, must be some great tasting porridge hahaha

plim,
My maid cooks for us. But she doesn't eat the same food as us. I bought separate food for her and she cooks it for herself.

I would advise all employers to ration the food for the maid, in case you get a maid who does not know how to control herself. I got one ex-maid who finished one huge tin of milo within one week. So unless you are very generous or have a lot of money in the bank to waste, it is better to be safe than sorry.
 
plim,

That's why my mum don't trust my maid at all. For me as long as she do what she should be doing and not anything funny, I am happy with it.

As for standard of cleanliness, will buck her up when I send my boy to CC (half day) this coming June. I will expect a certain standard of cleanliness since there will be no kids around in the morning to disturb her cleaning work and she do not need to cook.

Eventually, both my kids will attend CC full day (8am - 5pm). So I expect my house to be very clean since she can do all the housework without distraction from kids. I will not hesitate to question her if I found any dusty areas around the house.
 
Patsy,
I agree with what u say and i told my maid exactly that too... Dun expect me to treat the maid well if the maid do not treat me or my children well. I really have no choice but to resort to that. My maid herslef dun even trust me bcos of all the lies and horrible things that she has done to my family. I told my maid, "I swear to Allah now (she's Muslim), i have always treated u well n fairly, can u swear the same now that u did not lie and that i can trust u?" My maid dared not swear and promise she listen to my instructions from now on.... !!!!?????

On the part of rice, if say u agree to work in USA. Dun u already prepare yourself mentally that the diet n culture is going to be different. Which explains for the better pay and prospects. Do u travel all the way to USA an then complain that u have no rice to eat n therefore refuse to work???

Yah, only Liana understands what i mean when i mentioned abt her spendthriftness. To me is, cut the whole sob story short n stop telling me that u wan to work hard n how pitiful is your family.

eileen,
I know what u mean abt wanting to quit. I know being a SAHM is not easy. But it has come to a point that i need to cope with work, home, children PLUS MAID ISSUES!!!!! I feel like i just wan to scream the whole house day at times. Every morning i need to tell my maid of more than 6 mths to change my elder DD to her school uniform. N every morning i get the same stupid reply, "DD dun wan to change" n in the midst of ME preparing porridge for younger DD for the day, i need to scream, coax elder one to change. I prepare breakfast and younger DD hugging my legs. All the while my maid sitting on my elder DD's bed telling her to changer to school uniform.

plim,
I never let my maid cook bcos she is TOTALLY UNHYGIENIC and SLOW. She can use luke warm water to make tea for hb (after being told more than 10 times not to do that). She takes more than half n hr just to wash the vegetables, while i take care of the kids!!!!! Every nite, i need to crack my head over what to cook for dinner bcos maid do not eat pork, kids eat non spicy food, hb cannot take eggs (allergy), kids wants noodles, maid wants only rice n mummy eat watever things that nobody wants to eat!!!!
Honestly simple everyday tasks like packing DD's bag, laundry n wiping tables already give me so much problem. (always dirty, forgetfulness..) How can i expect anything for cooking. When she is home alone on weekends, she takes more than 2 hr just to prepare her own meals...

Just to share some idiotic things my maid can do.

Maid supposes to pack raincoat into elder DD school bag everyday. I will pick DD up from school after work n then do marketing n then take public transport home. Maid lazy n asked can dun pack raincoat bcos not raining for the last few days!!!!!
 
Oh B2B3M4, I totally can understand that kind of stress! I've gone thru that and it's totally crazy. At one stage, I was so stress with everything that I yell everyday! Then it comes to the point that I don't want to wreck my family relationship because of a stupid, incapable maid and off the maid goes. Then I stopped for a while without maid. Elder ds became independent, younger dd don't stick to me like glue, and both me and hub, no stress at home although, nothing is clean and tidy up to my expectation.
 
From what I understand from friends, Singapore and Malaysia are the only 2 countries that allow for these maids to come in on a loan. For places like Saudia nd HK, they have to come up with their own money first to go there ie airfare etc so for a lot of maids, it makes sense to come here or Malaysia first since they are starting out with no money at all.

My maid has worked in both Saudi and Brunei so she came to me pretty experienced both in childcare and housework.

I've had her for 1.5 years and pray she can stay for as long as possible. She is my first maid and hopefully my last cos I hope to just have part time help once the kids are bigger.

She is a decent and honest woman and is treated like one of the family in every way (other than the fact that she cooks and cleans for us la) .. she is my right-hand man and I take her with me everywhere unless I'm just meeting up with my girlfriend for tea or shopping then she's at home with my 2 younger girls. ...

While she does cook and clean for us, she does not serve me or my husband our food. I do that for my husband and I dish out my own food too. Same for breakfast and any other meals .. I make my own instant noodles etc. She does however, feed my girls etc.

I try to make her work as easy as possible cos I was a housewife for 9 years WITHOUT a maid .. I had 2 kids then and it was hell trying to manage everything on my own .. the cooking, cleaning and ferrying my eldest to school.

Once I was preggers with the 3rd, I gave up and asked my hubby to get me a maid (this was in mid 2007). She is a godsend and I really appreciate all she does for that measly $280.

I have conversations with her and she tells me about working in Saudi and Brunei, her family and even the gossip in my condo with the other maids. Yes, she has friends in my condo .. cos she picks my eldest from school now and she has friends who also do the same. I find that she is happier having those friends to speak with as they are also Indonesian maids.

I recently passed her my old Samsung handphone and got her a prepaid card so she can send sms-es to her hubby in Indonesia. The reception there sucks where they live (mountainous region) so it makes more sense to send an sms ... with sms-es she can afford to ask about her daughter everyday should she wish to. She can slo make calls home on my housephone or they can call her (she uses a calling card which I buy).0f I told her to use her prepaid card only for sms to stretch the mileage .. it's more ex to receive calls on the prepaid card anyway. Of course, I'm sure she receives sms-es from her friends here but at the end of the day, it's her prepaid card and she pays for the top up card anyway.

We celebrate her birthday too ... last year I got her a cake and my girls sang her the birthday song. I also gave her a trip home as a bonus after a year here to visit her family. I think I nearly cried at the airport sending her off ... LOL.

When and if things are forgotten or mistakes made, it's usually a one off thing and I let it slide. To date, I haven't actually scolded her.

At the same time, I am mindful and on my guard .. I don't make it a habit of going out too often leaving my 2 younger girls with her cos I know she has ironing and other things to do.

She is hygienic and clean where food handling is concerned cos I have a sensitive stomach and I would know right after a meal if it wasn't .. LOL.

She does have funny reflective type moods sometimes. I usually either try to talk to her more or just leave her be until she comes out of it. We are all entitled to feeling lousy sometimes.

This is just my story and my maid .. everyone has their own way of handling things ..
 
samantha,
your maid is indeed godsend according to what you say.

What you have done for your maid, I have too for my 2ex-maids. However in the end, I got played out by them.

My 1st maid betrayed our trust and gave the hse keys w/o permission to my confinement lady. Neither of them informed me nor my hubby abt this nor abt the confinement lady needing to go out for a while. Aft that incident, I lost trust and respect for the girl. To make me more nervous, i found her always giggling to herself whenever she was near kids. A bit unstable sort of behaviour. Other than that she was a good worker. Unfortunately, I felt that I could not trust her so I had to let her go.

My 2nd maid, older and have 3 kids of her own. Got some strange attitude. When she first came, she would not talk, not even a "yes/no, ma'am/sir". She would walk in and out of our rooms w/o knocking. She took my MiL's Hp w/o permission. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, thinking that cos she wasn't good with her English so there could be misunderstandings. Boy, was I wrong abt her! Aft that, she played the politics between me and my MiL, blaming MiL for the mess that she had not cleaned up and telling my MiL that I told her to do certain things (which obviously is not the case). And at each of these incidents, i always try to look at both sides of the coin. In the end she feigned a seizure when I'm alone with her and my baby at home. How would you expect me to carry her when her weight is 1.5times mine?! What abt my baby???!? I knew she was faking it so i sent her str back to the agent! I would have sent her straight home but she owed me money still! If she went home, how am I to recover the money?!

As far as I am concerned, I have been accommodating to my maids too as you, samantha, would do, doing some things on your own and all. But they did not appreciate this at all. So in such a situation, should I not tighten my control? Or should i still continue to accommodate them? I think they have to accommodate us too if they want to work here. If they can't then how? I've never heard of a boss/company out there accommodating an employee all the way. my boss/company could not accommodate my need to take care of my baby (got no extra help) so I have to go. Isn't that the way the world works? So why should it be any different for these maids?
 
B2B3M4,

My mum has the same experience with you. The maid can take her own sweet time doing her chore while my mum help her to look after my boy.

As my mum can't walk too well and cannot carry my boy around so she expect the maid to finish her task n take over my boy quickly. But the maid take her own sweet time to finish and hence makes my mum very angry.

We have told the maid many times that she has to learn to be fast. Yet her speed is still quite slow.

She always like to wait till time is out then she will quicken her pace and make so much noise and dropping things along her way when she rush.

My mum said her working style is like that when me &amp; hb is not at home. But when we are at home, its another story. She do things diligently with faster pace.

I thk this is a very common working behaviour of maids in Singapore irregardless of nationality.
 
I think you do the best you can then if it doesn't work out and you send her back, then at least you know you've done your part as a good employer.

I am hesitant to compare a maid working for me to that of an employee working in a company though. Firstly, there is a vast disparity in the pay (I wouldn't work for $280 - i'd rather starve LOL) and the number of hours worked. I think the maids who come here sometimes don't realize what they have to do .. that their job here is often not as easy as they imagined it to be .. that it's not easy living in your workplace 24/7.

And more often than not, it's hard to have 2 women living in the same household. I personally cannot live with my MUM or my MIL (I've tried both) .. I would rather live with my maid ANYTIME. Not that my mum or MIL are evil people just that there is a personality clash .. so I think that on top of having a good working relationship with my maid, you have to "click" as well. And sometimes that doesn't happen with you and your maid. If that is so, how to tahan for 2 years?

But of course, if first and foremost, the maid comes here with a horrid working attitude or she steals or lies like there's no tomorrow ... then nothing can be done to improve that and we just have to send her back I guess.

But yes, it does take a toll on our tolerance level and it does make us more guarded and bitter and wary and suspicious. How can it not??? I read the stories here and I shudder. I can guarantee I will react the same way as the mummies here if it had happened to me. Without a doubt, man.

And yes, of course, the mummies here who have had to change bad maids one after another, they will have a different take on things as they have been burned one too many a time. I can only thank GOD that I had the good luck with my 1st one.

Everything I've said is my personal opinion and does not reflect on anyone else's management style with regards to their maid. Everyone has had a different experience with their maid/s and I am not attacking nor I am accusing anyone here of anything ... neither am I telling the mummies here what to do etc. --- DISCLAIMER mah .. LOL.
 
Patsy,
Actually I do agree that some employers are to be blamed. But I feel that they only contribute to a small % of the problems.

When maids are still in their own country, I believe they can choose which country they want to work for. Every maid wants to work in Taiwan and Hong Kong because of the high pay. But since it is difficult to find a job there, they will settle for second choice which is Singapore or Malaysia. At least they still earn a salary. I don't know about the Philippines, but in Indonesian they will not be able to find any job at all. So earning $300 in Singapore is better than no money at all. That's why I said they came here willingly. I don't think the agency can force them if they don't want to come to Singapore, but prefer to wait for a job in Hong Kong or Taiwan. Of course many of them know that they can wait their whole life and not get a job there.

I think our Minister Mentor once said that, if not for our excellent government, Singaporean women will one day have to go to other countries to work as maids too. If times are so bad and Singaporean women really have to work as maids, I am sure no one will say that they are being "forced" to work as maids.

Actually in the past there are many Chinese women working as servants, called Ma Jie. These Ma Jie are highly respected, simply because they are very hardworking and competent. They take pride in their job, they know that they are earning an honest living with their own hands. I don't mean to advocate that Chinese women are superior to other races. I only mean to say that if the filipino or indonesian maid is hardworking and competent, she will be appreciated too.
 
Samantha,

Your maid sounds like she is a great helper to you. How I wish my maid were yours. And you only pay her $280. And she is clean and hygiene.

As compared, my maid is less hygienic. Sometimes still can find stains on some plates and spoons. What make it worst is I paid $90 more than your maid who do not need to cook for us. My mum will do the cooking.
 
babycutie - aiyah, the comparisons will be endless. As we tell our maids that they shouldnt compare, we also dont compare lah...of cos i know its frustrating and puzzled how come they cant improve at all - but what to do if they are really like that?

for me, i am still regularly acting to be a mediator between the maid and my mom. Sian ah.....Although i cook most times, my maid cooks for the kids. I think its gd enough - she's only 2 mths with us and I thought I should be glad enough that she can cook the porridge to our expectations. My previous maids all cook burnt porridge!
 
Samantha,
You wrote:
<font color="0000ff">I am hesitant to compare a maid working for me to that of an employee working in a company though. Firstly, there is a vast disparity in the pay (I wouldn't work for $280 - i'd rather starve LOL) and the number of hours worked. I think the maids who come here sometimes don't realize what they have to do .. that their job here is often not as easy as they imagined it to be .. that it's not easy living in your workplace 24/7. </font>

We cannot compare the maid's pay with our pay in Singapore. We must think of it this way : "If they were to stay in Indonesia, how much will they earn ?" They may not be able to find a job there. My current maid has earned enough to build her family a house in Indonesia, and recently even bought another shop there. I consider her to be more wealthy than me ! I have worked for 15 years, still cannot dream of buying a bungalow or a shop.

<font color="0000ff">And more often than not, it's hard to have 2 women living in the same household. I personally cannot live with my MUM or my MIL (I've tried both) .. I would rather live with my maid ANYTIME. Not that my mum or MIL are evil people just that there is a personality clash .. so I think that on top of having a good working relationship with my maid, you have to "click" as well. And sometimes that doesn't happen with you and your maid. If that is so, how to tahan for 2 years? </font>

This is why it is very important to treat your maid like the way your boss treats you. The maid is not your relative. She works for you for a salary. She is your subordinate. She must follow all your instructions, no questions asked. It is as simple as that.

If either party is not happy, either party has the right to terminate the relationship. I have sent away maids before, and I also have maids who requested to leave and I was happy to let them go.

Many mommies do not seem to be able to understand this. They become emotionally hurt if the maid does not meet their expectations. They are scared to send a maid away. If they have treated their maid strictly like a business relationship, then there would be no problem at all.
 
hi nellu, I know you have tried your very best to ensure you have a good relationship with your maid and she was the one who rebuffed this, so i cannot blame you for being bitter, once bitten twice shy, right? i think your maid was mentally unstable to begin with and the emotional and mental strain of leaving her family probably aggravated the situation.

You ask how I would feel if i saw a rude/uncouth/ill mannered filipino? Ashamed, angry, irratated, flabbergasted even. I would tell them off and have done so here in singapore, in Manila and also in the US. That woman in amazing race is the complete anti-thesis of how i remember Filipino's to be, and i'm very ashamed, and angry. She was probably good for the ratings tho.. hehe

And yes, of course, there are rude ang moh's around, some more than others, who think they are holier than thou, bigger, whiter, better. But I was giving an opinion between two races in terms of my sphere of experience, nothing else. Anyone who uses the F word to a stranger is rude, period.

Tamarind, if the economy in Singapore is so bad that there no work here, wouldn't you say that the Singaporean women who have to go to work abroad as maids are in a way "forced" to do so? They have no choice, there is no source of income for them in their country to feed their children. I'm sure if you ask the Filipino and Indonesian maids here if given a choice, would they want to work in their own country for a lower salary or abroad for a higher salary but have to leave their families, most would say they would prefer to stay with their families. I have personally encountered this, in hiring my second maid. My mum and sister found a few caregivers who turned down the chance to work with me here for almost 40% more pay because it would mean leaving their families, as they were employed at that moment and could still support their families. The ones who come here are those that are really left with no choice. Of course not 100% but I would think it's a big percentage of them. As a mother I understand this, we go to work during the day we already miss our kids, what more to leave them for 2 years?? Maybe the problem is more that it's the bad eggs that can't get a job back home that has to come here...
 
Nellu,
You wrote:
<font color="ff6000">But I would not generalise and compare which nationality has better manners. Cos bad manners PERMEATES throughout mankind, regardless of race, religion and nationality.</font>

Well said !
 
Eileen10,

Yes. We can't compare. We have to accept the fact that our maids are like that. My maid only cook the kids porridge. Other than that all other cooking is done by my mum.

What we can pray for is not to get a maid worst than our current one when its time to change our maid when their contract expires.
 
hahaha, babycutie - erhmm...i actually prob wont want to have another maid if this one can serve her full 2 years. I am not "greedy"....kekeke
 
Hi Mummies

I am a FTWM with a 3 years old boy and coming along Aug 08, my second child will be borned.
I got a maid when i gave birth to my son. She was a fresh indonesian. 3mths, i decided to send her back as we cant communicate. I got a babysitter instead. When my son was going 1 and half year old, the baby sitter complain timing too long thus i decided to switch to maid again. This time i got a 2 years ex-Singapore Filippino maid. She was very good in doing house work and taking care of my son.
First 3 mths i caught her sleeping on my bed patting my son to sleep. I just told her that she not suppose to do that and even if she is very tired, she should have pull the mattress.
She said sorry but did reply me saying the ex employer allow her to take nap.
As she does her work quite well, i gave her off day whenever i am available. She has been going out about 5times within a year working for me without pay deduction.
The 4mths working with me, i caught her having a handphone. I told her in the beginning that if she behaves well, i will take back the handphone for her to use but she cant wait. I told her nvr to do things behind my back but she did. I just told her that i can only allow her to use it at night. Caught her on the phone in the afternoon.
The last thing i caught her is someone calling my house in the afternoon when i am on MC that day. I told her on the very first day when she started working for me that she should never give my number to anyone but she did. When i confront her, she told me her auntie got the very right to know how she is. I WAS MAD. I CAN BE A VERY NICE PERSON AND I THINK I HAD ENUFF. I decided to send her back without giving her any notice.

I just got another maid fresh filippino. Shit, is similar to the first indonesian that i engaged. Right now, i am waiting for 5 years ex-Singapore filippino to replace her.

Mummies after seeing the abuse case of the infant. It really scares me but i really dont have a choice. How i wish i got my mum around to help me but she is gone.
 
Interesting...It appears that the only side who gains/profited are the maid agencies...and to a much lesser extent, the Singapore government, from the maid levy.
 
Feb 15, 2008
Man gets maximum fine for causing hurt to baby
By Elena Chong
A MAN was given the maximum fine of $1,000 on Friday for causing grevious hurt to his five-month old son by negligently knocking his head against a piece of furniture.
The 22-year-old man was carrying the baby when a cat jumped out from nowhere, causing to slip and fall.

As he fell, the baby's head hit a piece of furniture. The man did not tell anyone about the accident. The baby boy suffered a skull fracture and swelling in his brain.

It was only the next day that the victim's mother felt something was amiss when the infant refused to drink his milk. The Straits Times understands the baby has since recovered.

On Friday, a magistrate's court judge handed the man the maximum penalty - a $1,000 fine. As he was unable to pay the fine, he will serve a week in jail.

The cargo-handler, who cannot be named, had pleaded guilty to a charge of negligently causing grievous hurt when he visited the baby's mother, his 21-year-old girlfriend's flat in Tampines on May 23 last year.

Pleading for leniency, the man told District Judge Shaiffudin Saruwan it was an accident.

He said he did not tell anyone about the mishap because he feared being scolded. He also said he was making plans to marry the child's mother.

He could have been jailed for up to two years or fined, or both.
 
Hmmmm....geeeeee....arrghhhhh ...if what the man said is true, he did not purposely cause hurt to the baby but he was fine $1k. The baby has recovered. Then the maid who also accidentally hit the baby's head against the toilet bowl recently was acquitted.....but the baby died...right....I'm confused liao.
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hi mummies,

glad to find this thread but unable to read thru all the archives. some of my questions might be answered before in the archives, but hope you don't mind to enlighten me again.

wish to seek your advices as i'm going to engage a maid to help my mum to take care of my 15mos and 2nd one who is coming out soon.

1. Anyone here having Myanmar maid? Are they good?

2. Heard many let their maids sleep in storeroom/bomb shelter or living room. But once get caught by MOM, will get fined?

3. Checked with some big &amp; case trusted maid agencies, their pricing are so much difference. Ranging from $388 to $700++ all do not include insurance fee. and most don't have unlimited replacement.. i'm so confused, don't know which one to sign up with.. anyone got good recommendation?

Thanks.

ps:
Tamarind - read your blog on hiring maid, it's so informative, thanks!
Liana - your guidelines and schedules is fantastic, does your maid have problem following them?
 
sonic,
Thanks for reading my blog. You mean the guidelines from my blog ? Those are written by Lani, not Liana
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Liana, precious_one,
If I am not wrong, ever since 1995 when that filipino maid was hanged in Singapore for murdering a boy, no other maids have been sentenced to death. Even in the recent case where the Indonesian maid threw an old lady to death, the maid was sentenced to life imprisonment, when it was so clear that it was cold blooded murder. Sigh...Singapore is only a little red dot to the neighbouring countries, our government have to be careful not to provoke them.

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=990CE4DB1F3CF934A25750C0A963958260
<font color="0000ff">World News Briefs; Filipino Maid Hanged In Singapore for Murder
Published: March 17, 1995</font>

A Filipino maid convicted of murdering a colleague and a 4-year-old boy in Singapore was executed today despite a flurry of protests, threats and last-minute pleas.

The maid, Flor Contemplacion, 42, was hanged at dawn at the maximum security Changi prison, said a prison spokeswoman, Yim Pui Fun.

The case has focused new attention on Singapore's strict legal system and revived a longstanding debate in the Philippines about alleged mistreatment of Filipinos working abroad in low-paying jobs.

Mrs. Contemplacion was convicted last April of killing another Filipino maid, Della Maga, and her 4-year-old charge, Nicholas Huang, in May 1991.

Her lawyers tried until the last hours to delay the execution, saying there was fresh evidence to exonerate her and that the case should be reopened.

Singapore rejected the new evidence, which reportedly included testimony by another maid that suggested the boy had drowned in a bathtub during an epileptic fit and his enraged family killed Mrs. Maga.

Mrs. Contemplacion, a mother of four, claimed she was forced to confess during her trial. A murder conviction carries a mandatory death penalty in Singapore.
 
http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,156393,00.html?
<font color="0000ff">Fight was over, yet...
Maid knocks out granny, 75, then dumps her out of 9th-floor window
By Karen Wong
February 16, 2008</font>

AS her elderly employer lay dead nine floors below after being pushed out of a window, Indonesian maid Barokah pretended she knew nothing of it.
Click to see larger image

When her employer's husband and a neighbour asked where Madam Wee Keng Wah was, she claimed not to know, then said the 75-year-old grandmother had gone out for her morning exercise.

And Barokah may have got away with killing her employer if not for the sharp eyes of police crime scene investigators, who found some of Madam Wee's blood and hair in the latter's bedroom.

The evidence, along with dirt marks found on the dead woman's clothes and the position in which her body was found, removed all doubt that she was thrown out of her Chai Chee Road flat in the early hours of 19 Oct 2005.

COLD-BLOODED

In his judgment released this week, High Court judge Tay Yong Kwang called Barokah 'cold-blooded' and 'dangerous'.

He explained why he sentenced the 28-year-old maid, who had pleaded guilty to manslaughter, to life imprisonment last November.

He said: 'Throwing any person, let alone a completely helpless, unconscious elderly woman, down from the ninth storey to die on impact shows how cold-blooded and dangerous the killer must be, even after taking into account the diagnosis of depression...'

He noted that Barokah, who is from Central Java, was not ill-treated in the one month she was working for the family, and that if she was sentenced to a shorter jail term, she may possibly return to Singapore under an assumed identity.

He pointed out: 'With (her) personality disorder, her violent temperament and her unstable employment history, there is every likelihood that something will flare up again and that someone in future (can) get hurt badly, if not killed.'

Madam Wee was killed because she had ticked off the maid earlier for sneaking out for an illicit tryst and threatened to sack her.
Click to see larger image
The aircon condenser unit outside Madam Wee's window was removed. Investigations found that her clothes had dirt stains that matched the unit, indicating she had touched it when she fell.

DROPPED FROM HEIGHT

Justice Tay noted: 'If Madam Wee had jumped out of her bedroom window, her body would have landed further away from the base of the HDB block.

'As Madam Wee's body was found directly below her bedroom window, that suggested that it had been dropped from a height.'

He added that the stains of grime on her sleeve and back of her T-shirt were similar to that on the top of the air-conditioning compressor directly outside the bedroom window.

This meant that her back had touched the compressor during the fall.

If she had jumped, there would be evidence of contact between her feet or hands and the compressor.

'All the above evidence suggested that Madam Wee had been pushed sideways out of the bedroom window,' the judge noted.

The spots of blood in the room and on the bedsheet indicated a struggle or fight in the bedroom.

There was also some hair along the floor skirting below the window.

A plastic rack with rollers had been toppled and broken into pieces, with its contents scattered in the bedroom.
Click to see larger image
Police re-enacted the crime with a dummy and found that Madam Wee had landed too close to the block for her to have jumped. -- File pictures

And the victims's and the maid's fingernails were stained with each other's DNA, confirming a struggle before the fatal fall.

The evidence gave Barokah away.

The maid had been hired, just a month earlier, to look after Madam Wee's husband, Mr Lee Tang Seng, 78, who has Parkinson's disease, diabetes and other ailments.

It was her fourth job in five years, having worked for three other Singapore families previously.

On the day of the killing, Madam Wee had scolded Barokah because she had sneaked out at night to meet her Bangladeshi boyfriend.

The confrontation escalated into a fight that knocked Madam Wee unconscious.

And when Mr Lee left the flat to get help, Barokah threw the elderly woman out of the window.

Her state-assigned lawyers, Senior Counsel Harpreet Singh Nehal and Mr Wendell Wong, pleaded for leniency on her behalf, saying that when she was employed by Madam Wee's family, she was feeling troubled and depressed.

Her husband was having an extra-marital relationship and she felt guilty over her own affair with a Bangladeshi man.

BEGGED FORGIVENESS

The lawyers also produced a note from Barokah to Madam Wee's family, asking for their forgiveness.

They asked the judge to impose a shorter jail term as Barokah's actions were the result of her mental disorder and impulse.

They added that in May 2006, she gave birth to a baby girl she had conceived with her boyfriend.

There was no premeditation, they said, adding that she has since been cooperative with the police and was remorseful.

But Justice Tay said that Barokah was dangerous.

'It's undisputed that the accused could still tell the difference between right and wrong when she committed the horrendous act.'

He added that when she pushed Madam Wee out of the window, it was not done in the heat of their fight.

He pointed out: 'The fight was over and the opponent, as it were, was knocked out.'

He also said that the crime was committed in the very place that Madam Wee and her husband probably felt most secure - at home.

He added that Barokah's actions before and after the killing showed that she was 'quite collected' in her thought process, despite her depression.

He said: 'In my opinion, what the accused had done showed her to be a dangerous person especially when her livelihood was at stake, even when she was in the wrong, like she was that fateful morning when she sneaked out of the flat to meet her paramour.'

Barokah is appealing against the sentence.
 
Hi Tam,
Thanks for posting the articles. The Flor Contemplacion case was rather contentuous as many believed it was a set up and that it was the Sir that killed his own maid for perhaps accidentally drowning his son in the bath. So it was a double homicide that attracted the death penalty. There was a big hoo ha about it since Philippines doesn't advocate the death penalty . The same thing happened with the Australian who was caught trafficking drugs at Changi Airport. He got death but the Aust. Govt. lobbied to have his sentence commuted to serve life in an Aust. prison instead.

With regard to the maid who hit the baby's head against the toilet bowl and the baby subsequently died. I do believe the acquittal is very lenient. I would have expected her to serve at least 2 years jail time for that and be banned for life from entering Singapore.

With regard to this Indon. who 1. had a physical fight with the 75 y.o. woman that left the old woman unconscious 2. she then threw the woman out the window to her death...this is pre-meditated murder but her lawyer must have entered a plea bargain to have her sentence reduced to manslaughter.

In Singapore, the death sentence, especially when meted out to foreigners, gathers too much bad publicity internationally and the govt. gets whacked for their "draconian ways" (as quoted by Time Magazine haha). I suppose it becomes politically troublesome. Remember the American boy who vandalised the MRT and the car of a High Court Judge here in SGP? He got caned, but not before the US Govt had words with the SGP Govt.

It's hard to give the death sentence to a Filipino here. The Singapore Airforce uses Filipino airspace and it's a very important agreement they have if you consider a fighter jet can fly over SGP in 5 minutes!

As for Indonesia. Who wants to be attacked by Muslim nations or have Singaporeans detained in foreign jails for nothing. Remember the Straits Times reporter?

I don't like the message that's being put out there to FDWs...it seems as though they can get away with murder.
 
Sonic,
Thanks for the compliment but those maid guidelines were contributed by Lani.

I can only help you with the question on maid's room in bomb shelter, storeroom, living room. It's ok as long as it's liveable/decent and the maid has privacy. This is mentioned in the MOM guidelines.
 
ops...sorry Liana for mistaken you as Lani.. :p
been reading many stuffs abt maid till i blurred.

and, thanks for the answer on maid's room.
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any mummies can help me on these?
1. Anyone here having Myanmar maid? Are they good?

3. Anyone got good recommendation on reliable maid agency? if not convenient to post it here, pls PM me. Big thanks!!
 
k ladies and babes, this is my fav thread. i read this more often than my bookmarked Sep05 babies thread.

Your maid stories have entertained my countless bored afternoons with a cuppa coffee and muffins. i've laughed with you, empathised with your frustrations and also learnt some valuable lessons on handling a maid.

So it really pains me to refresh this thread everyday only to c you all fighting. Kiss and make up. We shouldnt let this issue tear us apart. I'm sure all of you don't feel good about reading each other's posts each day.

Alrightie, i just wanna share something with you. I thought this month's SimplyHer mag is pretty relevant to some of you. There's a feature article on "How to train a supermaid". And it lists down some really good contacts if you wanna send you maid to learn something, from cooking (chinese/ international) to first aid to newborn care. Cool right? I remembered we once discussed about where/ what courses to send our maid to.... They even have a course on how the helper could play with your child creatively
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Yeah Feb SimplyHer.
Page 99

Let's c....dressmaking courses.... The indonesian Embassy conducts this. So does the Philippine Bayanihan Centre. Here's what the mag wrote

"The Philippine Bayanihan Centre
(43 Pasir Panjang Road) runs a Skills Training Programme for Filipino foreign workers, like English &amp; Mandarin classes, computer, baking and dressmaking. Classes are held twice a month (on alternate Sundays) over eight months. Language, cooking/baking and tailoring courses cost $80. Classes begin in Mar 2008 and enrolment opens on Jan 14. They even offer wealth management sessions. Call 6250 0011/ 6472 2954 or visit www.bayanihancentre.org"
 
Hi dressaholic,

Which is the cooking class? Do u mean baking? I intend to send my maid for cooking class to learn cook chinese food specifically. Anyone has any idea where I can send her to?
 
YA! let's get back to talking abt MAIDS. Enough of the exchange abt which nationality is better and all...

Tamarind,
I recall you mentioned you hired 3 fil maids before but now would swear by an indo maid. I just want to hear of your experience. I hear so many things from so many people that I am not too sure myself anymore.

My hubby and I are thinking of hiring a maid again, but we are cautious and wary of filipinos now aft having 2 bad experiences (tho i would not say our maid #1 was all that bad!). We have loads of friends who swear by Indo maids, but then i get freaked out reading all the horror stories abt indo maids. We think if we are able to speak to the maid in her own language maybe one aspect of the management would be eased of. Not sure if you would agree? My hubby's Msian and is fluent in Malay. I myself have studied Bahasa Indonesian in uni and can speak albeit a bit rusty now since that was eons ago.

we are not in a hurry and definitely would not want to allow time factor to affect our decision here. Tamarind, or any of you other mommies, really appreciate you sharing your experiences.

p.s. btw tam, i had already gone thru your blog quite extensively.
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oh Ivy, and sonic,
not sure if this would help. I do not have exp with Myanmar maids but i do know of friends who did hire.

1. My hubby's friends -- maid was a transfer case. 6mths ex-sin before joining their hsehold. Her duties are only housecleaning and simple cooking. NO BABY CARE at all!! why? cos one fine day, aft my friend bought the drain pipe cleaner home, the maid asked her if that was for baby?!?! freaked my friend out totally!! according to the employers, the maid is decent. not fantastic but can do...quite obedient as well..but quiet.

2. My distant relative -- decided to try a myanmar maid aft her ex fil maid demanded for the moon! But the maid only last 3 days. Why? dun understand english, v slow and not very hygenic! so off the maid went. the relative cannot wait for the maid to take 6 mths or more to adapt.

so i supposed as b2b3m4 says, you'll prob need a lot of patience.
 


Hi all,
Please go back to maid discussion.

I have just created a new blog about maid agencies and customer reviews. I have only included my experience with Crislo and Nation, will try to add more later. Please feel free to comment. Please email me at [email protected] if you have other maid agencies to comment on !

http://singaporemaidagencyreviews.blogspot.com/

nellu,
Yes I swear by Indonesian maids now. One of the most important reason is because of their lower salary. I do not believe that one race is more hardworking or smarter than others, so why pay more for the same type of worker ?

The 3 filipino maids I hired all did not have respect for my mother. One of them told me directly : "I don't know how long I can stand your mother". What did she expect me to do ? Send my mother away ?

All my 5 indonesian maids are very respectful to my mother. I believe it is probably in their culture to be respectful to all elders. None of them ever talk back to my mother or me. All of them are very kind to my kids. Even when my naughty little boy kick them, they take it with a smile and never complain. 4 out of 5 are actually very smart. My current maid is very smart, but she is very respectful and is very keen to earn money, so she put her intelligence to good use only.

So based on my personal experience, I swear by indonesian maids. Although I also have bad experience with one of my indonesian maid who had many boyfriends (but she is also very hardworking, and very good with babies and toddlers), but on the whole my experiences with indonesian maids are good.

I did not have communication problem with my indonesian maids, 4 out of 5 have previous working experience, one of them have no experience but her english was surprisingly good. If you worry about communication, then you should employ a maid who has worked in singapore before.
 

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