Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

Liana,
Something wrong to ur maid,how could she giggled after watching the video.How old is ur maid?

My heart dropped after watching the video.I am in the mid of looking for another maid.I've employed a maid(very 1st maid)last Xmas.But I've transferred her out after 3weeks.She is ex-SIN wf 6yrs experience.Very stubborn,refused to tak instruction,ate a lot...can't stand her for even a second.

I strongly agree wf u all the hsework tat u mentioned can be completed within half a day.In fact,if she does it correctly(mop the floor,scrub the bathroom floor),the floor,bathrooms,can be well-maintainted for few days.Unfortunately,I can always see the stain & dust after her cleaning.I always told her:if u do it correctly,i won't ask u to do it again or everyday.But if u anyhow do,then,sorry,I've to ask u to clean everyday.

It is amazing tat a maid wf 6yrs exp cannot do the job well.I don't expect much,i just wanna her to do tat few particular jobs,for e.g.mopping the floor,well.She just likes to go against me.Err...And she nvr bother to put us as priority.She does not nid to tak care my boy(who is in childcare),no cooking required(we ta pao fr. inlaw home).Yet,she cannot perform even with timetable.We rather paid for her food & lodging then keeping her ard.

Biw,I planned to get her ticket & send her bk but my agent transfered her out so fast tat w/o my knowledge.My agent claimed tat the maid & me hv no chemistry so unfair to send her back.
 


Tamarind,
I wonder how long hv been the employer employed this stupid maid.I strongly agree wf u tat maids r not as simple as we tink...even fresh maids.Nowadays,seems like the fresh maids know their stands..maybe they learnt fr. those ex-maids fr. their countries.My mum recent fresh maid had asked for transfer bcoz she wanna look for easy job.
 
Hi Avocado

I do agree with you that fresh maid also not as simple as one think....

I am very very shocked to learned that my fresh maid for 10 days, which I already sent back to her country know how to manupulate with my alarm system, when I myself do not even know how to set the alarm from there.....No one else in my house set that alarm at 6am.....
 
I also agree that new maid are not that easy to train and control. I have a transfer maid, very new, less than 2 months before. When interview her, she seems to response quite slow but can understand you. But when you bring her back, you everyday repeat to her the same thing, in english or malay, she still do the wrong thing. I send her back within a week. And on the way to catch a cab back to agent, she was smiling all the way. She simply was just happy to go back again without thinking that maybe for the rest of 1 yr, she won't have any money at all.
 
hi JOy,
Wa...how old is ur maid? Hmm..why did u send her back?wat is her education level?

My ex-maid knew where i keep my screwdriver!Once I asked her to wipe the standing fan.Then she was taking out the screwdriver,where i kept in the drawer.I asked her why she nid screwdriver,then she said she nid to open up the fan casing.Luckily, I stopped her.If not,my fan will be spoilt(she act smart,tried to open up the casing by using screwdriver).

Secondly,i was shocked bcoz she knew where i keep my things.

I told my HB tat she reali looks so innocent fr the photo.When I phone interviewed her,she couldn't tok well so I thot she shld b someone who is simple-minded.But then,ended up she is quite cunning.But when come to hsework,she cannot use her brain...then i was wondering..maybe she "keng"???

I am just wondering...can a person be stupid but cunning? or she is smart & cunning??In my workplace,i've seen quite a number of ppl who r cunning(know how to "keng" & "siam" fr. working more)but stupid & slow when come to learning things.

Right now,I am learning to study the person character from the "face shape" & appearance.I try to analyse the maid character fr. her face,thot sometx could b difficult bcoz the photo quite blur.Call me silly..but i reali pray hard I could find a obedient & honest maid.

My ex-maid has a very "squarish" face.tat's why she is very aggressive & dominating.
 
hi, need some advise.. my maid told me yday she wan to go. I have aldy call the agent to pick her up today. Would like to know, in this case do I still need to pay for her boarding and air ticket home??
 
haha,JChew,i know what was ur maid tinking...All these new maids hv the mentality tat they can get transfered until they find the right employer wf easy job.They tak it very easy bcoz they know indo maids r short supply & very high demand in the market.

U r not the only one,I oso repeated the same old process or job to her(in Malay,as I know how to speak malay),but she insisted to do it her own way.I hate to nag at her and she hate to be nagged!But the point is...if she do it correctly,do I bother to monitor & nag her?My PT maid of 1yr plus can do all the hsework within 3-4hrs independently, in a clean,fast & efficient way.I didn't bother to monitor her.

When I told my ex-maid if she is still cannot perform,I'll send her bk to agent.Guess wat she said:"Ok lah,go ahead,send me back to agent,i work wf u oso heart-ache"
The first day when she came here,she oredi shown no respect to us.She didn't bother to greet us when we opened the door & welcomed her.When I showed her her room,she gave me sour face.When i gave her the basic necessacities,such as shampoo,shower gel,she didn't bother to thank us,just nodded her head.Initially,I thot she was shy or reserved type, but later,as my mum started became closer to her,she was a changed person,talked non-stop & in broken english.

I still tried to keep her fr 3weeks,hoping tat she can adapt & work well.I let her sleep at 9pm & wake up at 7am plus.I gave her off-day on sunday.But she didn't show sign of improvement & her attitude worsen.Tat was the time tat I knew I've to let her go bcoz no pt keeping a maid who doesn't wanna work or learn to work.
 
avocado, precisely... my hb was commenting abt our last pt maid, saying she come only once a wk.. but our hse looks cleaner dan nw having a maid to clean everyday.
 
Page up,

The bottom line of the whole message is no decent human being in the right and sane mind should do it to a defenceless and innocent 2 month old baby. In this case, the crazy, inhumane and barbaric maid did it. Something TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. Thats it. FULL STOP. She did something gravely wrong. Wrong is wrong.
Why think of excuses for the person? If your son is slapped in school by a stranger, what will be your reaction? Would you think the problem be YOU??? Is it right for the stranger to do that? Let alone a maid, someone whom the employer is providing for??
 
Some parents have their mothers or mil helping to look after the kids. What happened if the mother has one elder son needs to go to school. Getting a maid is just to assist the mothers or mil when they brought the elder kid to school and marketing just for 1-2 hours. As she already mentioned the maid appears to be caring when they are at home. They never expect the ugly part of the maid. She just to let us parents know never trust the maid 100%. If you don't like to watch the videos you can just don't see. Please don't anyhow comment my FRIEND and I know you are siding the maid.
 
hi Tamarind,

AIyo! I think you have misinterpreted my message, perhaps you got confused with too many postings around. Think I better clarify before everybody start scolding me for things I didn't say.
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I did not speculate that the mum "verbal bash" the maid. You are right, I don't know about this young family. I don't know how is the relationship between the parents and their maid, therefore I did not and will not comment on it.

The verbal bashing I was talking about comes from the majority of the netizen against the maid. Just as everybody is free to voice up their views (even vulgaries in youtube, which I'm totally not impressed with), I'm here to share my personal view.

My view is I only sympathize the baby. Not the maid nor the parent. My first reaction to the short glimpse of the video is "why isn't somebody around to stop the maid!"...

The parent needs to be responsible to what happen too! You might think I'm cruel to the parent or rubbing salt on their wound. However, protecting the baby is all along the responsibility of the parent. If they want to choose to trust their precious baby life to a total stranger, they will have to bear with the consequences. Please don't tell me they are are already regretting blah blah. Also don't tell me they might have no choice therefore need to rely on maid, as these are not my points of discussion.

As for the maid, she is insane enough to commit this crime, I don't think such mob reaction in the internet is going affect her much..Again this is my view. I acknowledge that everybody has the right to express their anger through the forum.

Ok, I hope I manage to drive my messages through after this few rounds of repetition as I wish this is my last posting to this thread...
Both the attacker and the parent need to be responsible. I think we shouldn't push all the blame to the crazy maid.


Happy new year to all
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page_up,
I don't think you have any valid point of discussion at all. Everyone knows from the beginning that the mommy is responsible, and the mommy never denied that. Why do you have to keep rubbing salt into the wound ? If you think that you are such a saint and will not make a mistake trusting someone, then perhaps you don't belong to the real world. Good thing you know when to disappear.
 
avocado,
I don't know how long the maid has worked for the employer. She is employed by the baby's grandmother.

Yes we cannot assume that all fresh maids are simplistic and easy to control. So long as the maid genuinely wants to work hard and earn money, doesn't matter whether fresh or experienced.
 
Update. Maid in Indon. Embassy Shelter.
Worked for 6 months.
Previously Experienced
Mummy did choose the maid and specified her criteria.

Feb 6, 2008
Maid arrested after video shows her abusing baby
By Carolyn Quek
POLICE have arrested a 24-year-old maid who was caught hitting her employers' baby on video last month.
The baby's parents installed a closed-circuit TV in the living room of the child's grandmother's home on Jan 24 to keep an eye on their maid.

It did not prepare them for what they saw while reviewing the very first recording just two days later: Their maid of three months, whom they had thought of as someone caring and gentle towards the two-month-old boy, was shown hitting and kicking the baby.

Enraged, the parents called the police, and also posted six videos on popular video-sharing website YouTube.

The clips had pulled in 82,699 views as of last evening. Netizens had also posted angry comments.

The baby was taken to the doctor, but no injuries were found. He is now in his grandmother's care.

The maid has been released on bail after questioning by the police and is staying at a shelter run by the Indonesian Embassy.

An embassy spokesman confirmed the incident and disclosed that the maid from East Java had been working here for six months.

The baby's mother declined to be named, but told The Straits Times yesterday that the maid was not new to the job, having worked previously for another family here.

An IT administrator in her 30s, she said she had asked the maid agency for someone with experience handling a baby as the maid's main task would be to help her mother look after the infant, her second child.

Her first child is two years old.

She was shocked when she viewed the video and saw the difference between the maid's behaviour in front of the family and behind their backs.

Her mother was not home the day the video was recorded and it was not the first time the maid was left unsupervised.

In the clips lasting less than five minutes each, the maid is seen hitting the baby and kicking him as he lay in a cloth cradle suspended from the ceiling.

In one instance, the cradle was swung so hard it almost hit a dining table nearby.

The baby's mother said: 'How could anyone hit a child like that? She always behaved very normally, like how you would towards a child, so we did not expect this.'

She added that she would not be getting another maid in the short term.

She said she posted the videos on YouTube last Thursday to warn other parents who leave their children with their maids.

Lawyer Chandra Mohan Nair said that there was nothing legally wrong in posting such clips online, but doing so could compromise police investigations if the maid is eventually charged in court.
 
Haiz... seeing this news and after just sending my 'experience' maid back.. Nw i really dun have the courage to engage another maid... Will take time during this CNY holiday to think abt whether to quit my job or not.

Tamarind, agrees with you. Doesnt mean fresh maid will be easy to control. Nowadays, they come with those 'ideas' feed to dem by those 'old' maids at home.
 
hi all mummies,

Happy New Year!!!

its been a long time since i last posted here.

i saw the "abusive videos" n dat brought me back here. my goodness, mummies, like myself who have young children especially babies, under care of maids would definitely shiver with fear from inside.

Liana, thanks for posting the news on the abused baby as well as other cases of abused babies n kids. i agree with many of ur statements like "the maid didnt look ill treated" n "we cant trust a maid 100%".

sometimes, we would hv ppl here who would take a different insight on this issue. not dat we need to c things from the same light, i believe everyone who has seen those videos, in the right mind, would think these actions by the maid is totally WRONG.

to me, whether or not the employer treated her right or not was a seperate issue, not dat its unimportant. Maybe the maid didnt like to take care of children? Not everybody loves kids, dats y some just plan on not having any after marriage. i just felt dat if the maid is unhappy working with the employer or dun like to take care of kids or babies, she should not even take up the job at the very first place, or opt for families with no small children. Y take it out on a small, defenceless baby??? well maids these days do have a choice over employers isn't it?

i have also thought to myself, if my maid comes up to me telling me she wants to leave, i will never stop her cos i have young children in her hands. after watching these videos, all the more i will not stop her.
 
avocado,
You can PM me their names and WP number, and your comments
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Patsy,
I think you are very lucky to always have very good maids. May be that's why you find it hard to believe that sometimes even though we want to trust the maid, and we want to think that she is a good maid, things don't turn up the way we hope for. I myself also don't believe why I can be so unlucky, for 7 times !

Liana,
People like you and me need to go through a lot to find a maid that is acceptable !
 
Tamarind, you are already better than me. Since I started engaging a maid when I had my 2nd pregnancy. I've changed 10 maids. I change maid untilI'm so scared that I stop having a maid for 3 months. But I can see that my mil who is caring for my kids were so tired than that I have no choice but to start looking for a maid.

I don't want to say too early, but my current new maid looks quite good. I'm crossing my fingers and hope that everything will last till she finish her contract.
 
JChew,
Wow first time I heard someone who changed more maids than me. You did that within how many years ? For me, it's within 4 years.

But I still have faith that there are good maids out there. My current maid is very good, at least after almost 2 years I still haven't discovered anything bad about her. Hope that your new maid works out fine too
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hello mommies,

need to ask a stupid question cos I am actually worried about how to send my maid home (ps don't laugh)
maid has worked for 2 yrs, extended contract with us last month for 1 more year, but during these few weeks, MIL/SIL/parents have come to me telling me that maid is talking bad about me, causing family politics, revealing secrets of our living habits/conversations I have with DH.
I think I have to send her back. but she's my 2 young daughters friends, they play together when i am busy cooking in the kitchen, she change up the kids when i am busy driving on the roads and she feeds them when i have to go to work.
how do we send her back? ask her to pack one fine morning and drive her back to the agency? buy her an airticket over the internet and drive her to the airport? what about her salary?

I called the agency who mentioned that indo maid passport needs to get stamp first, at least one week to do such things..

the last thing I want is for a cursing and swering maid trying to attack me or cling onto my gate as I try to 'send her' back
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any mommies with experience pls advise on how to 'send back' nicely. I would really really appreciate this
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MTIA

harriet
 
Harriet,
I'm also curious as to how to send the maid home if in the event we are not happy with them halfway thru the contract. Looking forward to hear advice from other mummies. Just buy ticket and send them to the airport? At which point do we cancel the work permit? Do we have to inform the agency? And I'm wondering even if we buy ticket for them, how do we ensure they get on the plane at the airport since we can only see them to the immigration gate?
 
harriet,angel,
First you must decide whether you want to send your maid back to the agency or back to her own country.

If your maid still has loan, then you definitely must send her back to the agency.

If the loan is fully paid up, then there is no need to send her back to the agency. You can check your agency's contract to confirm.

One advantage of sending her back to the agency, is that you will not need to pay for the air ticket. But some agency charge you food/lodging of $10 per day until she finds a new employer, and you will also need to pay her levy, even though she is not working for you. If she is willing, you can let her interview with prospective employers while still working for you.

If your maid is those crazy nut case, then it is best to send her back to her country. Read the instructions here. No passport stamping required. You only need to print out the letter of approval.


http://singaporemaid.blogspot.com/2007/07/sending-maid-away.html

Personally I don't give any advance notice. I only give the maid one hour notice to pack. I told one maid that our whole family is going to migrate to USA and we cannot bring her along. You don't need to explain to her anything about why you don't want her anymore, just give some reason she cannot argue with. Do expect some tears, and expect the maid to say how much she loves your kids, which may not be true anyway.Just tell her firmly that you cannot employ her anymore. If you give a good enough reason(don't care true or not), then chances are she will go to the airport willingly. If you are still worried, some agencies can help you to send a maid to the airport for a small fee. You can check with your agency. As for the salary, tell your maid you will give it to her when she reach the airport.

I know one hour notice is cruel, but that maid has done worst things to me.

I also got another maid which is not bad but I cannot keep her for some reason. I told her I have written a very good letter of recommendation for her. That maid was so happy to leave, no problem at all.
 
Patsy,
Communication is definitely one of the major problems. But sometimes even if the maid's english is good, there can be other problems like dishonesty, chronic liar, fierce personality, unsteady hands, unhygienic, insubordination or may be simply has bad body odour. Some people may think that bad body odour is a small thing, but to me it is not a small thing. I work very hard to earn my money, and I am not going to let my nose suffer. So every mommy has their own standards.
 
Tamarind

Agree that the traits you have listed are very real problems, and many maids do exhibit these traits. And bad odour is definitely a no no!! Imagine someone with bad body hygeine caring for your baby!!! I guess I'm lucky coz i get to interview the maids personally before I hire them in singapore, think that makes a big difference!
 
Hi mummies, I understand that maid can't go polyclinic for dental(think so).. any good recommend dentist for maid (reasonable price/cheap dental)?
 
Avocado

Just saw your post.
My ex maid was 23 years old and has one year working experience in indo.
I send her back to indo after she got discharged from hospital as she has typhoid, salmonala disease, dengue and serious medical problem.

I again was awaken from the alarm system that she set.....later, will try to figure out how to cancel the alarm...she is so very smart and I still cannot get over it. She has about 9 years of education....
 
Patsy,
I think you are good at telling someone's personality and capability from the first meeting. I know some people have that kind of ability
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Liana,
I really pity those young kids ! Just imagine the kind of bad influence. Actually I heard that some of the other Indonesian maids in my neighbourhood did worst things like having boyfriends etc. I never see the parents so I could not warn them. So sad.
 
Hi Tam and everyone, Happy new year and may everyone has a smooth and prosperous year ahead.

Tam, Yes, I can't imagine how many maids I've changed so far. that is within the 2.5 yrs. At least yours is over 4 yrs. As I said, I have maid that worked 3 days, I have maids that work 1 week and ask for transfer. This happen consecutively twice over 2 maids from the same agency. Then I've have maid that worked with me 2 months and I sent her back, cause she was abused by her first employer and I took her in because of her good nature, but due to phobia of her previous experience, she couldn't work very well. So when she finishes her loan, I gave her some money and sent her home to rest. I also have maids that come and tell me they dare not handle my girl cause she's too young but when I engaged them or interview them, they din say anything about it. Then I have maid who came 3 weeks and tell my sis maid that she don't like me as I'm very fussy about cleaniness and tidiness in the house. I managed to have 1 indo maid that lasted for a year. She's my supermaid, but... she steals our money. Sigh... All in all, I can only say, I have no luck in choosing maid at all.

Now my this new maid looks ok. A bit chatty, but I'm fine. Cause she knows how to play with my children, when to take over and care for them, have the initiative to help me when I'm busy cleaning the house, cook simple but proper food for me and children, do all necessary housework withiout me reminding, etc. I must say, so far she's been good. And she's the first maid who help us to make coffee! In the past, we always make coffee ourselves, but she's the first and only one who offer to make for us. I really hope and pray that this one works out for us. but it's only 2 weeks, so I hope that she'll continue to be like this for 2 yrs!
 
JChew,
Actually it is not entirely our fault, the maid agencies are largely to blame. We paid them agency fees, so they are supposed to find a maid that is suitable for us. But the maid agencies are only interested in pushing their maids to new employers so that they can make a profit, don't care whether they can do the job or not. I knew of a maid agency, who once gave me a maid, even though they knew that the maid previously run away leaving a baby alone in the house ! They really have no ethics at all.

I hope that more mommies will feedback to MOM about how bad the maid agencies are !
 
Tam, I also told my hub that if MOM really ask us over to drink kopi, I sure shoot them left right center.

Like recently, I received the letter from MOM saying that I've been changing maid frequently and it might be I'm having problem managing a maid. When I read that, I was fuming mad! How can they just send a letter like that and deem that it's my fault?
 
Hello JChew - happy new year to you and everyone else! But you changed the maids in 2.5 yrs - so you shouldnt get the letter at all! Wonder how it really works?

Good to know yr maid is working well - and I hope things will stay on like that. We are not "greedy" - as long as they finish their contract and be sensible - we are happy enough!
 
Hi Eileen, I also don't know why I got the letter. Anyway, like you said, we are not greedy. My current maid really consider good if compared to those in the past. My hub says the maid is chatty and KPO, sometimes also din offer to help him carry things. But I remind him that there is no perfect maid if this one if can help out, we have to be grateful already. I told him maid is all alone here, no off day to go out, no friends, and can only talk to us. So if you are the maid, can you whole day don't talk about other things other than work, work 24/7 for 2 yrs, and still be insane? Then he kept quiet, but still reminded me to be firm and not too nice to her, in case she takes advantage.
 
hi all,

happy new year! Just read all the posts in the last few days. Liana, Patsy, don't get too heated up, ya? Each of you are right in your own way. This is a public forum so I think we all have to be careful too how we phrase what we say.

Patsy, I think you've been lucky with your encounters with your maids so far. It really takes one to personally encounter a bad maid to be able to understand Liana's pt of view. As Tamarind puts it, different people have different standards, and different maids have different personalities so there is no surefire formula to manage your relationship with the maid. I should think that because you are able to communicate with them in tagalog, hence that help in your relationship with your maids. I for one also believe in open communication but i think like my previous maid, cos I dun speak her lingo she din feel like she wanted to communicate properly. So it is somewhat unfair to think that employers dun communicate or do not encourage open communication. Some maids just don't want to do so. That is definitely very frustrating, at least for me.

Liana, pls don't get too offended with what patsy said. I think she had a fair pt but probably not put across properly. I too was a bit offended when i first read her post but i would like to take a step back to take a look at things again. I can fully understand how you feel cos I was also played out by my maid. And I think my tolerance level is even lower than yours! One played me out and I said enough! Having said that I dun mean to say all maids are bad. I still believe that there are good ones and moderate ones out there. To get good ones I think you have to have the biggest shining lucky star to get it. Moderate ones, i believe if we do get them, are probably still acceptable.

Most of us think that kindness should beget kindness as with trust and respect. However, sadly there are people in this world that just like to take advantage of others. And unfortunately we keep encountering them in our maids! Some of them just behave like it is their god given right that EVERYONE that they encounter while they are working here should be charitable to them. But they do not understand that they are hired and that they should be doing an honest day's job to earn the wages that they and their families so need. I'm not sure what would have make them 'lose their dignity' but i dun think that being poor gives you the right to beg.

whatever it is, let's hope that we will have less maid troubles as the year progresses ya? I'm maidless and still holding out but I've been thinking should i try again....
 
Hi Nellu,

Thanks for the support. I'm ok now. No hard feelings.

As I said to Patsy and I might as well open up to all of you. Please feel free to come to my house to see how easy my maid's job is. I still really don't understand why some of them still have to take advantage or are so lazy to do the job properly.

But I'm a stupid woman. Keep going back again and again with the hope of getting a good maid to at least help keep my house clean so hubby and I have more time to play with our girl and don't need to kill ourselves with doing the housework after work. Is that too much to ask?

All my friends feel sorry for me for my bad "feng shui" with maids. What can I do? I just have to the belief that they are all the same! I am even considering an Indo. but I will feel like killing myself if she is unhygienic and dirty so don't even want to go there!!

Anyway, thanks again to all mummies for the support.
 
Liana,
I didn't read all the postings in details but i understand what u are going thru. I have long given up hope of the phrase, "Kindness begets kindness" bcos kindness is taken for granted or even expected. I am the one who cook for my maid, i am the one taking care of my baby at night, i am the one who take care of both my children so that my maid can do her housework on weekends... and the whole house is still in the mess. My baby still get injured.
When my this present maid came, i talked to her nicely and told her my expectations. For being nice, i get a maid who rebutted, argued with me when her job not done properly. It doesn;t affect her when i threaten to send her back. Recently, i just realise i am her 3rd employer already. I have so much to complained that i have long given up. U can say i dun treat her nice anymore. I screamed and shout at her when things are done badly or wrong. That i realise then "frighten" her and get her to work.
In fact, i am upset with the govt. Here they r encouraging women to join the workforce. But they do not provide solutions for these baby sitting issues.
They tell us that we can't expect off days to be always on weekends and have good normal working hours. I am so angry bcos i have been fined several times by my DD's childcare for picking her up later than 7pm. And they are not opened on sundays. And all these got me more pissed when i see how my maid cared for my baby badly, house in a mess, gives me problem, get paid and put on weight!!!!!!!

Sorry for hearing me rant bcos i really feel i can't take all these maid's issues anymore.
And BTW, this is my 4th maid!!!!
 
Hi Liana,

no need to thank me..
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I'm just saying what I feel.

I don't think you are asking for too much and I don't think you are stupid. In fact i think that is what most of us want: just a reliable help to keep the house clean and hopefully help prepare a decent meal for us while we can spend some quality time with our kids. I too want that even though I'm a SAHM now. I just want someone to help me out with the chores and meals so that I can spend time with my boy. But now i spend more time taking care of the chores and on my boy. This is definitely not how i imagine my life as a SAHM is when I quit my job.
 
B2B3M4 - you are not alone. My current maid is my no. 7th or 8th maid (you see, i also lost count liao hahaha), hang on there...you really have to. If really things is not working the way you want, I suggest you change another maid. Do not afraid to change...

JChew - yr hubby has a point. I also v scared. I used to have a KPO and busy talking maid - initially i ok with her - but as days go by, I realised she began to go beyond her work duties and one day, she decided she wants to run away. Be wary of that and be firm. I also told myself, do not be toooo nice to them. I really dont wish to get "slapped" back with my own actions.

Liana - is yr current maid performing ok? I know you gave yr maid alot of perks to keep her motivated! And yeah, my frens are all shocked to see the number of maids i have changed. Everytime they see me, they asked if this is a new maid?? Hahaha...i now tell them, yes this is 2 mths old - but she is performing to my expectations - and i told them to pray for me that this one will work for 2 yrs!
 
Eileen, I know his concern and I too afraid that things will go out of hand if I'm not firm enough. So I will try, not to be too friendly with her, just maintain a good employer and employee relationship will do.
 
JChew,
It is so unfair for MOM to just send you a letter like that ! You should certainly feed back to them about the problems of the maid agencies. MOM seems to be managed by people who never hire maids before.

Do you know that one of my ex-maid changed more than 10 employers ? I found out only when I view her employment history online. MOM still approve of her work permit so easily. I feel that it is very unfair for employers to be blamed when we change maids too many times.
 
in fact, i have a fren who really went to drink kopi with MOM - the officer told her, he understand but he has no choice as he has to follow the policies. Perhaps someone can write in the ST forum to raise this concern up so that our voices can be heard!
 
eileen,
I think the higher managment who set all those policies do not understand our problems at all !

Patsy,
The problem does not lie with the singapore household or the employer. It lies with the maid agency and the maid. Like JChew said

<font color="0000ff">I have maids that come and tell me they dare not handle my girl cause she's too young but when I engaged them or interview them, they din say anything about it.</font>

We paid the maid agency a few hundred dollars of agency fee. It is their job to make sure that if we want a maid to look after babies, they should give us a maid that can look after babies. But that is not the case. I even had an ex-maid who previously ran away from her ex-employer's leaving a baby alone in the house. The agency knew very well what she did, and they knew very well that I have babies, but they never said a word and let me choose her. It is because of such unethical people that we have so much problems.

But many people, including those high level management at MOM, do not understand this fact. They always think that employers are the problem, which is totally not true.
 
Hi mummies,

I didn't post for very long time too.

After seeing the clip, I was very angry and felt sorry for that poor baby.

I told my mum abt the incident and my mum said all maids are the same. Never trust them.

She told me my maid has 2 faces oso. When me &amp; hb is around, she is "extremely hardworking". But when we are not around, she is another face. She said if not for her to stay home and supervise the maid, she said its not surprise that my maid will also hit my kids if they are naughty.

From day one when my maid step into out house, my mum already told us that our maid is not simple. She has a lot of things behind her back. Since now she is serving her loan, she can't do anything funny. But once her loan is up, her true self will slowly shows.

I know my mum is very fussy and particular abt cleanliness. All my maids do not meet her standard.

But since my maid can take care of my kids and do the housework. I can close eyes on the not so clean floor and furniture.

If she do anything funny, we will not hesitate to change her right away.

Ask u mummies, how long does your maid work with you before they request to write letters back home or buy phone card to call home?

My maid worked with me for 5 mths but she has never requested to write letter or make phone call home. She has a 4 years old boy back home. But seems like she don't miss her boy at all. She also didn't bring any photo of her family or son to Singapore. What does this say abt this maid character?? Bochap??
 
Patsy,
If u asked why so many pple have problems with maids now is becos.... they r no longer maids whom have in the past. My mum's maid has been with us for more than 20yrs... I have been cared by her too, so it couldn'e be i do not know how to treat a maid properly.
Honestly, like what many mummies here have shared. Many maids here come here as if they were on holidays. Some came with the intentions to jump to greener pastures like Taiwan. My maid keeps all the money she earned and have never sent a cent home. She used all her money to buy several types of cleansers, she only uses colgate whitening toothpaste, colgate anti-plax mouthwash, special shower sponge to shower and what not. She never write letters, only wan to make phone calls. My maid keeps making mistakes until hb asked how many chances should we give her. Her answer, until she has earned enough!
My previous maid before this expects to eat rice for all her meals. When i reason with her that is not possible all the time, she dun understands and in the end left bcos she didn't get to eat her rice when she's out with me on weekends.

eileen,
Its not that i am scared to change. I just can't stand paying all these maids agency anymore. In name, they say they will give free replacements. But i have to pay for $10 everyday until the maid gets transferred out even though her loan has already been fully paid. The agency gave me some crap reasons like they need to know what is wrong with the maid and see if it is necessary to returned the maid to the supplier!!!! I was like, u think i am born y'day. U are obviously trying to earned $$$ from me. N not to mention, additional insurance i need to pay. All the leaves i need to take to re-trained... Its just so agonising. N i feel my baby is also affected by the constand changing i care givers. She is so much stickier to me than her older sister.
 
I have a previous maid who joined me for 2 mths also request for transfer saying she can't handle my girl.

I ask her how come she take on this assignment when she know she cannot handle children, she told me that agency told her that she is lucky to be employed and "forced" her to take on the assignment.

But after working with me for 1 mth, she came to me crying n said she wants to go back to her ex-employer. I let her call her ex employer and I also talk to her ex employer. Ended up the exployer do not need any helper so reject her request to take her back. So no choice she has to work with me but on the condition that I let her pray and fast. So I compromise on this request. But 1 week after working with me, she came to me again asking me to send her back to the agency. She has tried but cannot handle children.

So we send her back to the agency and get another replacement which stays with me for 1.5 years.
 
babycutie,
Many maids are like that ex-maid of yours, being forced to take on the assignment. In some cases it can be very horrifying for them, like if they were forced to bathe old people or clean them up. Taking care of babies is still not so bad. That's why I really blame the maid agencies, they are really blood suckers.
 


tamarind, fair enough, the agency does make a play a big part in what type of maid we get, but I just can't believe that's the crux of all of the problems.

If I analyze things... If we as an employee doesn't do as our boss asks us to do, keeps arguing, is dirty/unhygeinic, eats too much, steals, abuses our colleagues/subordinates, disrespects your superiors, we would be fired/demoted/penalized, but conversely, if your employer made you stay in the office 24/7, aren't allowed to call home, can't go out for a break at all, measures what you eat, doesn't give you your pay, goes through your private things, you would also be very angry and demotivated to work for your boss or resign, right? Sometimes people forget maids are employees just like you and me, albeit they stay with in our house with us 24/7.

But it's a case to case thing I guess, so it would not be possible to pinpoint one particular reason so maybe best to just drop the topic...

B2B3M4, your maid sounds very "cosmopolitan," but if she uses her own money to buy those things, I guess it doesn't really affect you, right? I buy all the stuff for my maid but if she wants to buy something special, she has to use her own money. Re: letter vs phone, to be honest, letter writing is a lost art these days... I don't do it, do you? I always remember something Tamarind posted a while back, I don't let my maid do anything I wouldn't do. This is of course a different matter but i apply it to the phone/letter issue too. If I am not used to writing letters, how can I expect them to be able to do it too?? The rice thing I can imagine, even my parents are like that! They must have 3 portions of rice everyday else they don't feel good.. think it's a Filipino habit they've picked up.
 
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