Advise on Baby & Maid Exps

Hi all,

I just got my first maid 7wks ago, so far my maid didnt give me any big problem, as for communication wise i got no problem with her cos she can speak English and she communicate with my mum in simple Malay. I got this maid thru recommendation from my agent, she worked in brunei for 2yrs, she take her own iniative to do housework. So far i am happy with her. As for my agent, they also provide good customer service, they did call and find out how is my maid's attitude and check whether we are happy with the maid. As for now, i got no complaint abt both maid and agency.
 


Hi experienced mummies w maids

Have been doing some serious thinking and decided to keep my maid( see above abt my prob w maid)and have a gd talk w her. Bascially have not found anything missing so I m going to take more precaution on my side of not keeping valuables at home. all in bank safe. although a bit troublesome. she is fairly ok w my very active boy.(although will skive). Since my dad will be here to "watch" and boy not alone w her so thought i try for another 3 months and see. warned her abt me not liking to "scold and tell maid too often" otherwise given my charcter wil send her away also highlighted some of my expectations (affirm she's gd w my boy) but tell her areas tt she needs to improve (hygiene, initiative).Also hung the carrot of a sponsored cooking course in 6 months if performance gd - honesty and childcare. Not sure if this is best but if i just send her off, my worries is mainly is it best for my boy and family. Hubby and I wld have less time for each other due to childcare and hsework , what if i have no 2 and also son might see mummy less if sent to cc as my work can bring home if got maid.

So headache, seems like no perfect solution. thks for all advices, really appreciate tis support grp.

Feel like it is so tough to be parents in singapore, one income nt enuff and two income child suffers. Though dun like to have maid but like no choice also . Luckily my dad willing to help come everyday.
 
hi

i am facing a problem and wish to hear your experiences.

currently we have a maid but feel that she is not suitable, so have selected a new maid.

based on what the agency told us, once the new maid application is approved by MOM, the existing maid has to be returned to the agency for them to find her(existing) a new employer.

is there a way to have an overlapping, ie today maid arrives in my house, the next day the existing is sent back to agency?

btw, can you pm me your agency....
 
twinkle,
You can always change another maid. There are many other better maids out there. You don't have to live with this one.

gracian,
You can apply for the new maid as your second maid, if your income is high enough. Then you can take your time to return your old maid.
 
gracian,
there is a grace period of 21 days when the work permit of ur current maid is not cancelled even tho ur new maid has already arrived. so technically, yes, it's possible for the new maid to arrive b4 u send the existing one back to agency. however, if the current one is obviously unsuitable with discipline problems, u might not want the two maids to meet each other. u can always send the current one back in the evening of one day, b4 picking up the new maid the next day.
 
Lani, thanks for recommending anti perspirant...it works for my maid but still got little smell when she perspire alot

Tamarind, thanks...and also thanks for your help!
 
annlee,
you're welcome. if your maid perspires alot then get her to shower more often, so that she stays dry, then make sure she uses the anti-perspirant after every shower.
 
hi

thanks for the replies

our combined income is about 60k, is that high enough?? HB called MOM, and MOM say can apply as 2nd maid.

i dun want them to overlap... but i work shift duties and ds a bit too much for 1 person to handle. i just hope that only got a few days without helper and not like 1 month no helper...

btw, have anyone went thru the 2 maid phase or apply 2nd maid?? pls share... thanks
 
gracian,
i transferred my previous maid to my aunt, so she has 2 maids. mom's approval for a 2nd maid goes on a case-by-case basis. if u demonstrate great need, the approval process takes the same time as if u r applying only for 1 maid. however, there is a chance that mom might reject the request, then u hv to appeal n end up waiting longer for ur new maid's permit to be issued. $60k is enuf.

if u never had any intention of letting the two maids work together, then u might as well just apply for ur new maid's work permit first. there's a 21 days grace period where u can hv 2 maids without needing additional approval. the new maid only needs 4-5 days to pass all her tests. so long as the agent is agreeable, u can keep ur current maid until the new maid pass all the tests. ur current maid will still hv 16 days to get a transfer.

my mum went through a 2-maid phase b4 for a wk. she thot the maid could teach the new maid our daily routine b4 she leaves. that maid finished serving her contract, so it wasn't like she had discipline or attitude problems, but she din teach the new maid anything. in fact, the new maid got to know all her friends, n got a chance to observe when to skive off. i'm not saying this is how it will always turn out, but there's a real chance that such a scenario might occur.
 
gracian,
I have 2 maids now. You just have to tell the agency to apply the new maid as a second maid for you, you don't have to do anything. But I agree with what och has written.
 
my hb wrote to mom asking what is the criteria for second maid and here's their reply :-

"The qualifying criteria to employ additional FDW is when the employer have either 2 young children below 18 years old and/or elderly parents/parent-in-laws above 60 years old staying at the same address as the employer"

1) our household oni consist me, my hb and our baby. what's the chance MOM will approve? Our application is still pending, need to write a supporting letter to justify why we need second maid? anyone got sample to share would be nice...
happy.gif


2) OCH - you mention "there's a 21 days grace period where u can hv 2 maids without needing additional approval". how does it work? existing already have one work permit under my name, so if apply another, automatically considered as second one right? dun understand the part when u say no need additional approval.
 
gracian,
the 21 days grace period is meant for employers to transition between maids. there r many families who r not able to afford even a day without a maid. fr the time an employer hires a new maid, the employer has 21 days to cancel the work permit of the current maid without any penalty or additional admin work. past 21 days, u will be fined every day for hving 2 maids under ur name without permission.

if u think the grace period is too short, u can go the way of applying formally for 2 maids. most pple wun go through the hassle, simply bcos not every family needs to employ 2 maids permanently, they just need to transition between maids. if u wish to employ 2 maids permanently, mom's reply will apply. it is possible for u to still hire 2 maids permanently even if u hv only 1 bb. however, that will be approved on a case by case basis. if u need to appeal, that might delay ur application by a few days.
 
Dear ladies
Need your comments (and also to vent my frustrations...)coz' I've struggling as to whether to change my maid or not for quite some time. I know there isn't a PERFECT maid and I'm neither a PERFECT employer myself.

These are some of the reasons for my two-mindedness:

1) Maid's work: Generally satisfactory. Needs minimal supervision,but can be not thorough in her work. Saw some stains on the toilet bowl just now, but she has slept so didn't managed to tell her. Like many maids, will clean the "obvious" areas but slip in areas like under milk powder can, behind hotpot etc.

2)Very clever. She speaks good english too, and when my DD asks her about things, she will always answer correctly and she can read story books to my DDs. But can be too clever. Like once found my kitchen cabinet open, she can correct me saying that it has a magnetic mechanism etc blah blah...

3)i chose her coz' she was very cheerful during interview. But 1st day she came she appears quite sad and grumpy. Her mood now flatuates. sometimes got this really xian look and stare blankly. But she likes my younger daughter and always laugh with her.

4)attitude: says sorry readily sometimes like when i found the food she prepares for DD is too saltish. But sometimes, show real black face and talk back or don't even bother to talk to me for a few hours.

5) I feel she is not hardworking enough. We agree she will turn in at 10pm. but now she will stay in the room with my dd at 9 plus, then never come out. A check in the room saw her sms-ing or just sitting there waiting for her long hair to dry. but I can't think of anything for her to do at nite, can't ask her to clean toilet after she has bathe rite?

I have talked to her once. In the beginning even want to send her back, but she found out from the agency about our intention and ask for a chance to be given. Sometimes I really pitied her, coz' frankly speaking, her life is quite xian also, as we don't let her watch TV, she only reads the papers at nite (and takes my magazine without asking!). She was also a great help when my hubby was away, minus the attitude problem. But sometimes, I pitied myself more for having to tolerate this kind of attitude. And could she be acting sorrowful?

What will you do if you were me? She is far from perfect, but i'm so afraid to get someone worse, esp reading horror stories from this thread. Also, found myself pregnant recently, if nothing goes wrong (i've got miscarriage history) will have a newborn to look after a few months from now.

Sorry for the long story. hope someone will advise. thanks for reading.
 
och

the 21 day grace period starts from the day MOM approves the new maid application? cos over at maid home country, their govt also need time to process the application right?

plus if i cancel my current maid work permit will means that she has to go back home and cannot work in SG right? my current maid still got loan to clear... so does that mean that i have to pay off her loan and buy her air ticket?

we are going to appeal to MOM to allow us to hire 2 maids or have a longer grace period... really headache lei...

govt rules are very confusing...
 
gracian,
i believe the 21 days start fr the day mom approves the application, but i'm not 100% sure, cos my agent handled everything for me. this grace period is a mom ruling, so the maid's country's regulations dun come into play. n hor... i think agents hv funny ways of getting maids to come over by exploiting some loopholes.

if u cancel ur current maid's work permit, she has to return to her home country. however, u can return her to the agent n let her find a transfer. which u pursue will depend partly on the contract with ur agent. usually, agents will request that u give ur maid a chance to transfer. if u want to send her back, then yes, hv to pay for her air tickets. if u paid for her loan upfront, some agents will simply transfer the remainder to the next maid. some will return to u. some others will confiscate. it should all be listed in ur contract.

pm'ed u.
 
Hi people, can i check w u guys for the maid loan period is it flexible kind? I jus hired a filipino maid and ther loan period is 6.5 mths - $2145.
 
och

thanks..

i dun want to pay for her loan lei... meaning that will have to send back to the agency earlier(once new maid approved, old has to go back to agency)...

i also heard that agency will bring in the new maid under agency name and only transfer to employer when everything ok... dun know how true lei...

i saw your pm... you are with NXXXXX right? me too but will not go back to them after this!!
 
Hi lis

Your story really trick a chord within me! Cos I have a maid exactly like yours. Very good with my gal but can be rather careless on small issues. Good english but easily black faced. For a long time I was contemplating of changing maid bbut she asked for a chance and now I am pregnant with the second child. Not the best time to change anymore cos baby due in Jan. But am thinking I may not want to continue her service after her contract.

Dunno if yours is really obedient. Mine not quite at times. Like I used to buy tuna for my hubby and told her specifically so. I got her jam, peanut butter (skippy type) and good kayas..but there was once I saw her eating tuna sandwich and was trying to hide from me. WHen I told her again its for sir, she black faced. Worse still, months later she ate openly in fromt of me!!!!
 
Hi lis

Your story really strike a chord within me! Cos I have a maid exactly like yours. Very good with my gal but can be rather careless on small issues. Good english but easily black faced. For a long time I was contemplating of changing maid bbut she asked for a chance and now I am pregnant with the second child. Not the best time to change anymore cos baby due in Jan. But am thinking I may not want to continue her service after her contract.

Dunno if yours is really obedient. Mine not quite at times. Like I used to buy tuna for my hubby and told her specifically so. I got her jam, peanut butter (skippy type) and good kayas..but there was once I saw her eating tuna sandwich and was trying to hide from me. WHen I told her again its for sir, she black faced. Worse still, months later she ate openly in fromt of me!!!!
 
hihi,

may i know wat to look out for in the contract with agency? any important point which i need to take note? thanx

tamarind,
thanx for ur advise, but i am currently staying with my father, have to pay 350 to him everymth liao, so not able to rent one room out also.. we have no house, so i think the option bout renting a room out is out... frankly speaking, for mi, if i were to use 950 to survive for 350 room rent, 100 hubby transport to work, 100 hubby food allowance, and the rest to feed mi and 1 newborn and 1 nursery schoolkid.. i don know how to survive.. i really salute to u for having 950 enough for 2 adults and 2 kids...
if i quit now, that means no cpf contribution.. then when we will be able to have a hse of our own? maybe u already have ur own hse and even rent out a room to others, thats why u can survive with only 950...
 
My maid went back for 2 wks holiday since 18 Nov. Told her to give me a call once she reached home. To date, she has yet to call me ! I'm starting to wonder will she really come back as wat she has promised ? Haiz ..... Worst thing is I did not even ask her for her house number & my easy-going hb lend her our luggage :-( I'm keeping my fingers crossed till 2 Dec & hopefully we don't kana play out.

Well, if she's really not coming back, will my $5000 be forfeited ? Guess I would need to cancel her wrk permit immediately & wat's next ? Any advice pls.
 
ma22

i think you better tell your agent about your maid disappearing act...

dear all

i am so stressed... MOM has alreadi rejected the application for 2nd maid... we just e-mailed appeal letter and called MOM.

i really can't tahan my current maid, but seems no choice have to close both eyes now.... i am really stressed and tired from all these!!! help!!

koh,
if you staying with your dad, then your dad can help supervise the maid, otherwise i will agree with tamarid that it is best you quit and be a SAHM.

tamarid, can you pm me your agency...

think you all can see that i am super stress
sad.gif
trying my best to make arrangement at work for dec and jan 07....
 
Hi all,
Any more recommendations for maid agencies that can PM me?

Would also appreciate any input on having a maid to care for a 3 years old child alone with camera 'supervision'.

thanks in advance
 
gracian,
heh heh... told u the agency has mixed reviews.

mom is quite fast, so u will know in a couple of days time if ur appeal is approved. if u live in hdb hor, think the chances r relatively small. did ur agent advise how long is the gap between ur current maid leaving n the next maid arriving? hv u tried bargaining with them for a few more days?
 
ma22,
is this her home leave upon completion of her 2yr contract or you let her go home for hols while still under contract?

i know if it's home leave upon completion of contract, most employers will cancel the work permit then reapply again when the maid returns.

if she has not completed her contract and is home for hols, i am just wondering, how come you let her go home for hols? as far as i know employers seldom allow this, cause very often you will get cases of the maid going MIA and never coming back as promised.

if she really MIA then you got no choice but to cancel her work permit asap lor. just pray that you will hear from her over the next few days, and if not, that she will return by dec 2nd!

gracian,
oh dear..
sad.gif
looks like you prob got no choice but to make alternative arrangements while you are b/w maids, either you take leave and become a temp SAHM during that period, or maybe get a relative to stay over for that period to help out, or maybe look for a temp nanny/housekeeper to come over everyday from 8am-7pm lor. i am sure you can find a solution!
happy.gif
 
koh,
Yes I own my house, don't have to pay rent. I spent about $200 a month for 2 maids' food. About $500 for 2 kids milk powder and diapers. That's why I said $950 is enough for 2 adults and 2 kids. For your hubby, you can cook lunch for him to bring to work. This will save money. Use cloth diapers and breastfeed your baby. This will save even more. My younger boy is now 2 years old, and still not going to nursery. He has learnt so much more at home.

Sorry if what I said made you feel worst. But getting a maid does not solve your problem. Chances are high that you will end up with even more nightmares. Read this thread and the archive carefully and learn about all the problems. I would suggest that you think of ways to work from home.

If you really want to get a maid no matter what, then I advise you NOT to go to any maid agency, the agency fee is a waste of money. Learn from Lani, she has found a good maid in this forum. Look for mommies with good maids for transfer. Then do the paperwork yourself, it's very easy and you save so much money. You can even tell the maid that she has to forfeit her first month salary for the paperwork. She has to pay this amount if she goes to the maid agency anyway. Then keep another month salary for air ticket in case you want to send her back or she wants to go home. This way you don't have to waste any money.

gracian,
OK pm you already. Yes MOM will approve the second maid only if you have at least 2 kids. Why don't you get a transfer maid ? Look for those currently working for an employer for at least 2 years, don't take those who has worked for less than 1 year. My newest maid is a transfer maid, the application was approved on Friday, I sent my ex-maid away on Saturday, the new maid arrived at my house on Monday.

I have used NXXXX before. I used post dated cheque, and didn't have to pay the remaining maid loan when I return the maids to them.

If nothing works, since it is the school holiday now, why don't you try looking for JC students who can come over to help ? I will pm you another forum for young people.
 
hi dingdong
thanks for sharing. my maid actually not so obedient, esp to me. She always does her stuff well in front of my hubby. But to me...not really. She wants to have her say in things. So, when i tell her to cook A+B, she will often put A back to the fridge then cook B+C, without telling me. Tell her not to keep overnight food for 2 days or more, she says yes, but still not doing it till today.

I've found a nanny for my toddler and will continue full-day childcare for my big gal. So, most probably sending her back to agency. My only worry is I'm feeling very very tired during my 1st trimester, just have to brace up and face the challenge!
 
gracian,
just to share. like tamarind, i stopped paying for my nightmarish maid's loan the moment she was sent back to agent.
 
lis,
happy for you that you are sending your maid back soon. i really cannot stand these types of maids, ie. disobedient and then got the cheek to put on "show" in front of the sir some more, and totally disregard the "maam". when my maid first came, i told her that when it comes to ALL maid decisions in the house, I am the one making the decisions and not my hubby. so from Day 1 she knows that I am actually the person she needs to please and impress, and not my hubby. she knows to show my hubby respect, but then I am the one that is assessing her performance.

i wish you all the best!
happy.gif


koh,
yes i found my maid thru this forum, when another mummy posted that she had a very good maid for transfer. but then it wasn't very easy. i was EXTREMELY lucky. there were many other mummies also vying for the maid, and in fact all of us had to go down one by one to meet up with the maid, in order for her to ultimately choose which employer she wanted to work for! imagine, a maid getting to "interview" her prospective employers and choosing the best one for herself! haha!

but in the end she chose me, so i was VERY happy. she said she chose me because can see that i am a nice and kind person, and that i am easygoing. but i also think part of her reason for choosing me is because i am a malay/muslim and she is indo, so maybe she felt more comfortable working in my household. anyway, eversince she started working for me she has been able to fast and pray, and she is very grateful to me for that. i think when she 1st came she was told that she cannot fast or pray if she works in s'pore.
 
hi Lani
I'm two-hearted of sending my maid back to agency again, coz' I'm really so tired with my pregnancy that i fell asleep upon reaching home and only wake up at 2am! I couldn't do anything, let alone bathe or play with my kids which i plan to do. I'll just have to see how my preg goes. I don't think my hubby can take up all the tasks alone for whole 9 months. And when my MIL come back from her hols, I'm sure she'll have a word with me when she sees me "tiring" her son so much...

wish me luck again!!

Koh
I think you are really going through a tough phase. So you are living in your dad's house is it. If so, maybe he can help supervise your maid, then at least someone will be keeping a lookout for your children?
 
lis, i have tok to my dad, he says he can only help mi supervise the maid after work ( 4pm ) , so i guess, most of the time maid will be alone bah..
any one can tell mi, what i should buy for the maid when she first came to singapore?
and everymonth we have to buy toiletries for her?
 
koh,
i'm not too sure what we need to buy for them when they 1st arrive. but basic toileteries you need to buy for them every time, eg. soap, toothpaste, toothbrush, shampoo, face wash. everything else they need to pay for themselves.
 
dear mummies

thanks for all the PMs... wanted to reply yesterday but major crisis at work and was kept busied.

i tot of exploring the nanny option but parents are kinda of against it.... claiming that nanny mayb worse than current maid and again ask me to tahan.

i spoke to the manager of agency today, and he agreed to source for the tel no of my selected new maid and just rang me back with the number. i was boiling mad when i called him, cos i had to instructed my current maid to bring in the clothes TWICE although she also heard the thunders and saw the dark skies. Wah lao... if i dun tell her, the clothes will be still outside getting a second wash!

anyway, manager advised me to be patient with current. frankly speaking, i can't afford to take leave cos no slots and had to arrange to do night shifts so as to lighten my mum's load(she is working part time and currently renovating their new place). hb and me had decided to tahan til jan 07 and cancel current maid WP ourselves and send her back.

feel so stressed by that incompetent maid! we are now in a situation of making use of each other cos she needs to clear her loan and we need a helper.. very sad right?
 
och

sorry to reply you so late...

since philippines going to have hols from 15dec till jan07(not too sure which date in jan), i would be with no helper for at least 1-1.5mth. so now our plan is to wait for MOM reply, have yet to hear from them regading our appeal but regardless, we will send current back ourselves...

i realised that you have to make noise to the right ppl at NXXXXX to get things done,
 
Hi,

My maid has worked 3 years for me and we have decided to end her employment with us as we feel we do not need a maid anymore. She was employed to look after our newborn and now he is manageable coming to 3YO. My maid hopes to find a new employer and we are agreeable but I wonder if anyone knows what are our "risks"? I understand that we have to sent them back to their home cty or we will lose our security bond. In addition, do we need to pay her in lieu for the air tix?
 
bluebell,
There are no risks if you let her find a new employer. If she is a good maid, do post in this forum and you can do the transfer on MOM website. There are many mommies looking for a good maid.

You can check the employment agreement whether it is stated that you need to pay for the air ticket. Every agency agreement is different. If it is not stated anywhere, you can deduct from her salary if you want.
 
bluebell,
since your maid still wants to continue working for another employer, then maybe you can transfer her to a mummy on this forum who desperately needs a good and competent maid. if you read the above postings, i think koh(liling) desperately needs one, so maybe you can liaise with her directly and see if she can takeover your maid? no point wasting a good maid lor.
happy.gif
 
Hi Tamarind,

Actually there is no contract cos after her 2 yrs contract ( we got her from an agent), we asked her to continue with us for one more year and there was no written agreement.

Eh, if she goes back to Indonesia, I already planned to pay for her air tix but if I transfer her to another employer, I do not have to reimburse her the air tix value right?

Hi Lani,

Any interested mummies are welcome to email me at [email protected]. I also hope to find a good employer for my maid but I hope prospective employers are aware that different pple have different requirements and stds which may be higher than mine. I can only share what she has done for me and it is up to the new employer to decide if my maid is suitable for her.
 
bluebell,
You don't have to reimburse her the air ticket since there is no agreement. In fact, most maids who want to transfer, have to look for a maid agency to find an employer for them, and they will have to pay the agency at least $500 for the service fee. So you are already helping her to save this money. If you do the paperwork for her on MOM website, you can even make her pay you the service fee
happy.gif
 
Lani,

Yup, it's home leave upon completion of her 2yr contract. Oh, din noe that most employers will cancel & reapply for their WP leh. Gosh, I'm so ignorant.

Heng ah, she finally call back yesterday. Phew ! Made my daughters talked to her & tell her that they misses her (to lure her back just in case). Hopefully, she'll arrive on 2 Dec wifout any hicuups. Still keeping my fingers crossed.
 
ma22,
oh that's good to hear! anyway, i heard that most employers will cancel then reapply again (can be done online i think), just in case their maids go MIA or never return. but if you trust your maid completely then i guess no need to cancel and reapply again lor. it's up to the individual.
 
Lani,

Thanks for the info. I'll bear in mind shd I hv a new maid cos I won't be so lucky next time. Getting a gd maid is like striking lottery.
 
Dear Mummies,
Hi.
I'm new over here. My 1st maid is very short temper & got very bad attitude. When she did something wrong, we didnt scolded her (jus told her next time pls dun do it again) immediately she will showed u a black face. My current maid very slow, very forgetful (she left the hse key @ the gate & even forgot to off the fire when the water is boiled).We cannot tahan her anymore & nw looking for replacement. I'm pregnant wif my 2nd baby so really we need someone who's more alert, responsible & attentive.

I would like to seek advise on the following matter:
1) Does any1 ever employ maid fm EX-KUWAIT ?
2) Are they fast in learning?
3) Are they obedient?

Would appreciate yr opinion & advise.
Thks in advance
 
hi oranges
maybe u want to consider myanmar maid, they dont have much attitude problem just some cannot communicate well, willing to work.

My maid is slow at first n I nearly vomit blood, but we train and repeat the instruction now she can handle most chores on her own.
 
Hi Emma
Thks for yr advise.
Heard tat Myanmar maid cannot communicate in english.

I oso vomit blood wif my current filipino maid.
 
Hi all,

Jus to check has anyone here have experience on how to apply for filipino maid home leave documentation beside go to the agency can do it our own rite and roughly how much in total?
 


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